His Gift
Chapter 4:
"There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in this kind of madness. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars...But, somewhere, this changes. The fast ideas are far too fast, and there are far too many; overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Everything previously moving with the grain is now against- you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable...It will never end, for madness carves its own reality."
- Kay Jamison.
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."
- Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Ever had that feeling in the pit of your stomach as you wait for something? You all probably know what feeling I'm thinking about, right? I used to love that feeling because (a) it is a very weird feeling and (b) mostly, the feeling was associated with excitement. Well, whether that feeling is from excitement or terror (it's definitely terror in this case), it's basically the same feeling. I used to love it.
Now, I hate it. I really hate it.
Here I sit, in the driver's seat of my truck, driving back to Forks with Jake sitting next to me in the passenger's seat, drumming his hands on the arm rests on the side of the seat. We were driving down to do something I never ever thought I would do before: tell Charlie I was pregnant…with 'Jake's' (actually Edward's) child.
My mind was wondering as I continued to stare out the window and drive down the small road. What would the baby look like? Would it be a girl or a boy? Would I have twins? Secretly, I didn't prefer which gender baby I had; I just wanted them to look like Edward more than me. I wanted the child to have at least some hope of having a successful and beautiful life. I also don't want them to be clumsy like me either. That would be depressing and the child would probably hate me forever.
That last thought almost made me laugh. Almost.
I scolded myself.
This defiantly wasn't the time to be laughing, I thought to myself, This is one of the worst moments of my life.
We entered Forks, almost instantly turning onto the street that Charlie and I lived on. I could feel my heart racing again. Was I doing the right thing? What would he say?
I parked next to Charlie's cruiser, turning the key and cutting the engine. I sat there, breathing heavily and my heart racing.
"Bella?" Jake asked from the seat next to me, "Are you ready?"
I couldn't bring myself to say anything. My throat was closed because of how nervous I felt. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him or even to nod, because I knew I would be lying. There was no way I was ready to do this.
"Bella?" Jake asked again, seeming more worried than when he asked the question a minute before.
"Y-yes?" I breathed, unable to speak any louder. I was scared stiff.
"Are you okay? Are you ready to go inside?"
I didn't say anything, but nodded.
I heard the door open from the seat next to me, meaning that Jake was getting out of the car. The door was slammed shut before the door next to opened. I turned to face Jake, standing there with his arm stretched out to help me out of the car.
"Common, Bells." Jake said.
I grabbed his hand and got out of the car. I couldn't think straight. Edward used to help me out of the car too…
Meanwhile, somewhere far away, a pixie-haired, vampire girl had a vision. A very surprising vision.
Alice whipped out her cell phone at vampire speed, dialing Edward's number from memory and waiting impatiently for him to pick up. He hadn't been taking to them since they had left Forks. He even left the family to be by himself.
Riiing!
Riiing!
Riiing!
Riiing!
Riiing!
Damn, Alice thought, Edward's not picking up.
Alice was about to close the phone and end the call, when a voice came from the other end.
"What is it, Alice?"
Alice smiled before turning serious again, "Edward, I had a vision." She said gently.
"And…?"
He wanted to know more. He was interested.
"It's about Bella."
"What is it!?"
He nearly shouted at me, he was so concerned.
"What is it, Alice?!"
Edward asked again, trying to make me answer quicker.
I sighed and told Edward, "Edward, Bella is pregnant."
There was a moment of silence before Edward started shouting a million questions at me at vampire speed.
"When did she find out?! Bella is pregnant? Our sweet innocent Bella?! Who's baby is it? I swear I'll rip his head off!"
I rolled my eyes, he wasn't getting it.
"It's…" I paused.
"It's who's!?"
Edward exploded again, needing more information.
I sighed again and answered.
"It's yours."
There was another moment of silence.
"Where are you? Where is everyone?"
"I'm Montana with Jasper. Emmett and Jasper are somewhere in Maine, I think. Carlisle and Esme are in Alaska visiting everyone up there. Why are you asking?" I was confused why he switched topics so quickly.
"We need to move back. I need to see Bella."
Alice sighed, she knew this was coming.
"Where are you?" She asked.
"South America."
"South America? Why there?"
"No reason."
Alice dropped the subject.
"I'll call everyone and ask them if they want to move back to Forks. I'll call you in a few minutes, kay?"
"Sure."
Edward sounded monotone.
"Okay. I'll call back in a few minutes. Bye, Edward." Alice hung up, dialing Rosalie's number.
Riiing!
Riiing!
Riiing!
"Hello?" Came a rough voice.
"Hey, Rose. I didn't know you had such a manly voice." Alice joked.
"Hahaha." Emmett laughed a hearty laugh, "Rose is in the shower right now, so I just answered her cell for her. So, what's up, pixie?"
"I had a vision."
"Really? What about, an upcoming sale at the mall?" He laughed again.
"No, Em. It's important."
"What is it about?" Emmett was concerned and curious this time.
"Bella." Alice sighed, "She's pregnant."
"What?!" Emmett asked, "Seriously?"
"No, Em. I'm just joking." Alice said sarcastically, "OF COURSE I'M SERIOUS!"
"Okay, okay. Chill out, Pixie. Did you tell Edward?"
"Yeah. I just talked to him. He wants to move back to Forks."
"That doesn't sound bad." Emmett mused. "Hey, Rosie, uou wanna move back to Forks with everyone?"
"Sure." Came a reply somewhere else in the house, judging by how quiet her response was.
"Okay, Al. We're in. Just tell us when and where to meet to move."
"Come to Montana. Jasper and I are living there. 5427 June Berry Road."
"Kay. See you in a day or two." Emmett said, "Bye, Al. Rosie says bye too!"
"Bye, Em!" Alice hung up.
"Hello!" Charlie called from the living room when he heard me open and close the front door, probably watching TV like usual. I froze when I heard his voice, once again remembering why I was here with Jake. I started shaking. The word 'nervous breakdown' entered my head.
"Bella." Jake whispered, "Calm down. It's ok. I'm here."
I wanted to slap him; how could he be so calm? Doesn't he understand the gravity of this situation? Doesn't he understand that I'm not the person who would be in this situation anyway? Doesn't he understand that I never ever thought I would be in this situation? Doesn't he understand I'm scared out of my mind right now?
"Hey, Charlie." Jake called from next to me before I had the chance to muster up a short and shaky answer to Charlie's greeting.
"Jake?!" was Charlie's response. I heard him get up from the chair, and then I saw him walk up to us.
"Hey, Jake." Charlie smiled, hugging Jake tightly before continuing, "How is everything?"
"Same old, same old." Jake shrugged, "You?"
Same old, same old?! I wanted to slap him again. How could he say that!? I was pregnant, said father of said child was probably half way across the world (I highly doubted the Cullen's had moved to L.A. It's way too sunny.), and I was lying to my father about who the father of my child was! How could this be 'same old, same old'?!
"I'm pretty good." Charlie replied, "So, what are you here for, Jake? Anything special?"
"Kinda." Jake shrugged again.
Kinda? I thought.
"Actually, Charlie, Bella and I need to talk to you." Jake continued, grabbing my elbow, half-walking and half-dragging my shocked and terrified body into the living room, Charlie right behind, probably wondering what the news was about.
Oh, was he going to be surprised.