Chapter 6: In Which too Much
Alcohol is Consumed
Tifa meanwhile was at the 'house' as the members of Avalanche called it, feeling extremely bored. She sat in Cloud's room, looking around at the many sundry things that he had scattered around the room. Various swords and motorcycle parts littered the desk and floor, and a few manuals on bike repair sat on the bedside table.
She sighed, and got up, looking at herself in the mirror.
"Of all the people in Avalanche, it had to be Cloud... This really sucks." She thought, as she moped around, trying to act sulky.
She stopped in front of the mirror, and looked at herself, the chocobo haired hero staring back at her.
"Oh if only you knew Cloud... How much I longed to know you... And here I am, living in your body, and hating every moment of it..."
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Cloud was by now giggling to himself, as he drank his eighth beer. His eyes where slightly crossed, and he would lurch to one side or the other, and give a hiccup. Yuffie was staring at him like he'd gone mad.
"And I was like, look you buffoon I'll beat your pasty face in, and he ran away like a little chicken." Cloud said, as the group of avid men watched him weave on his stool, holding the remains of his last drink.
"Wow... You're one tough bitch aren't you gal?" One of Cloud's admirers said, laughing.
"I bet she's lying like a rug... Just in it for the attention... I'd give her some of my attention!" The man whispered to his partner, and then proceeded to walk up to Cloud.
"You look like you're a little lonely miss... Have you got a boy?" The man asked, sitting next to Cloud.
"No... Haven't got a boy... hyuck... I'm not gay..." Cloud said, looking unsteadily at the man next to him.
"Good... How's about I take you home... You look like you're past your limit..."
The man grabbed Cloud by his elbow, and lifted him from the stool.
"Nah... hyuck... I'm fine... Haven't even started..." Cloud said, as the man pulled him along.
"No babe... Don't worry... I've got you." He said, a slightly sadistic smile on his face.
He let his hand drift down to Cloud's butt, and gave it a gentle slap.
Cloud gave a gasp, and turned to the man.
"You asshole... hyuck... Don't you dare!" And shoved the man away from him, causing the man to stumble into a table.
"Common babe... I didn't hurt you did I?" The man said, as he stood up from the ground.
"You bastard!" Cloud said, swinging a punch at the man, and connecting solidly with his jaw.
The man fell back, and gave a growl.
"Little slut... You're going to pay for that!" He said, wiping the blood that trickled from the corner of his mouth.
Cloud reached for his sword, but his hand didn't find its hilt anywhere, and he cursed.
"Yuffie! Where the hell is my sword?" Cloud shouted, looking over at Yuffie to get an answer.
"You don't have one Tifa!" Yuffie answered, looking even more confused.
Cloud grunted, and turned back to the man, who had taken off his jacket.
"You ready to feel hurt bitch?" The man asked, cracking his knuckles.
Cloud gave a lurch, and lifted his fists.
"Guess I'll have to... hyuck... do this the old fashioned way." He said, and stumbled toward the man.
The man threw a punch, and Cloud ducked it, something he probably wouldn't have done if he where in his own body.
He drove in, and hit the man with two jabs to the gut, knocking the wind out of the guy. He finished the attack with a well-placed roundhouse kick, which sent the man crashing to the floor, trying to recover his breath.
"That's for being a bitch." Cloud said, and staggered back to the bar.
"Ma'am... I'm going to have to ask you to leave the bar..." The bar tender said, as Cloud approached.
"Why?" Cloud asked, trying to look at the bar tender, but his eyes just wouldn't focus.
"You've fought in a public bar... That's something we discourage." The man said apologetically.
"Fine... I was getting sick of this place anyways..." Cloud murmured, and staggered toward the door.
Yuffie gave a disappointed groan, and followed Cloud out of the bar, only to find him passed out on the side of the road.
"What the hell's gotten into you?" She said, as she hoisted Cloud's limp form to her shoulders.
"She's right... I don't want big boobs... They weigh too much." She grumbled, as she stumbled along the sidewalk, to the truck. They reached it, and Yuffie panted from the exertion of carrying Cloud. She fished the keys out of Cloud's pocket, and put it in the ignition. With a turn, the truck gave a sputtering wheeze, and didn't start.
"Oh for goodness sake!" Yuffie said, slamming her fist into the steering wheel.
This somehow made the truck work, for she gave one last try to starting it, and it came to life.
She stared at the pedals, trying to figure out how the truck worked.
"I think this one's the gas." She thought, as her foot hovered over the break.
She pushed down on it, and nothing happened.
She tried the other pedal, and the truck started to move forward.
"Yes!" She said happily, as she slammed the break, making the truck jerk to a halt.
"How the hell does it go backwards?" She said, looking at the stick shift in the middle of the cabin.
"This must be it." She pulled on the shift, and it didn't budge. She pulled harder, and still nothing.
"Is it stuck?" She wondered, throwing her weight against it, when it gave, and moved down to the '2'.
"STUPID THING!" She cried, trying to move it to the 'R', but it wouldn't move.
Then she noticed another pedal, and she stared at it.
"What the hell is that?" She asked out loud, hopping the Cloud would answer, but he was to busy being unconscious.
She pushed on it, and there was a 'thunk' from somewhere in the front of the car.
"Hmm... Interesting." She said, looking down at the clutch.
She tried it again, and this time it moved smoothly.
"WOW! I GOT IT!" She screeched happily, pushing on the gas, watching in amazement as it moved backwards.
"Ha! In your face Cid! I can too learn how to drive!" She said triumphantly, as she backed the truck into a light post.
"Oh shit!" She gasped, as the loud crunching came to her ears.
She looked to find that the back of the truck now had a pole crushed into it.
She gave a shudder, and looked over at Cloud.
"Looks like I shouldn't drive... Tifa... I really don't like you that much now!" She said, as she got out, and pulled Cloud onto her shoulder.
"We're walking... And I'm going to tell them that you broke the truck." She said, glaring at Cloud. Cloud's head just fell to one side in response, and that was all.