Somehow during all commotion Loose & Lanky had been dunked into the fountain and Lynne was trying to pull him out. Scrawny was sprawled out on the ground, a bloody hole in his back and showing no signs of life. The Guardian wasn't handling the situation well at all, dancing madly like he was being attacked by a swarm of ants.
"Cursed, cursed! The Park is cursed!" he cried. "The Gods are punishing us for removing the sacred Rock from its hallowed resting place!"
Lynne just rolled her eyes as she helped Loose & Lanky back to his feet. The Good Detective knelt down beside Scrawny and placed two fingers two his neck – a method humans use to check if someone is still alive, apparently. Eventually the Good Detective just shook his head.
"No use, he's gone," he said sadly. "Just what happened anyway?"
"Dunno," said Lynne, a little dazed. "He just shouted all of a sudden and shoved me into the ground."
Loose & Lanky was squeezing fountain water out of his red scarf, "Shoved me too, whiiiich is how I ended up in the pool." He turned to the Good Detective. "So much for time-off, huh? We'd better call HQ for back up."
"Hold that thought," the Good Detective helped me down from his shoulder. "He isn't dead until Sissel says so."
Loose & Lanky rolled his eyes, "Of couuuurse, the undead cat."
Lynne knelt down beside me, "Whaddaya say, Sissel? Think you can bring him back? I mean, the guy's a complete jerk but still…"
"As long as he has a core it's possible," I told her. "And I might just find where that gunshot came from. You here won't remember anything though."
Scrawny did have a core, since the Twister wasn't around. I doubt he'd be the type to use a gun anyway. I decided not to bother trying to wake up Scrawny's sleeping soul and get straight to business, rewinding time to look for clues.
I easily recognised the beginning of the four minutes as I watched a despondent Yomiel lead the limping Fiancée towards the main road. From there things went as I remembered them, up until the Good Detective and I were headed back to the restaurant. I wondered what it might be like to try and communicate with my past self, but I had no time for silly frivolities like that. I did, however, manage to listen in on Lynne's argument with Loose & Lanky.
"Just what the hell is going on?" Lynne stood straight and stiff, her fists were clenched tight. "Why would you two keep something like this from me?"
"Lynne, baby," Loose & Lanky sighed and sat on the fountain ledge, "it's a looong story…"
"Uh, hello?" Scrawny tried to catch their attention. "Isn't anyone gonna do anything about my photos?"
Loose & Lanky scowled. "Rennie boy, I'm waaaarning you – scram."
"What about that girl?" Lynne gestured in the direction Yomiel and the Fiancée had walked off. "Isn't she worried about being married to an ex-con?"
"Baby, life isn't aaaaalways black and white…"
"What's so difficult about it?" Lynne took her anger on a nearby soda can, kicking it hard enough to send it flying towards a grove of trees a little away from where the group was standing. "Ten years ago I was here roasting sweet potatoes and the guy sticks gun in my face, does Sissel know about this?"
The Guardian piped in, "Sister, am I to understand you were here on the blessed day when the Rock of the Gods fell from the…?"
Here, Loose & Lanky and Lynne rounded angrily on the Guardian, shouting in almost perfect synchronisation, "Will you just shut up and go already?"
"Come on, seriously!" Scrawny slapped his forehead. "Banana-head nearly drowned me, and I'm pretty sure I can sue fuzz face back there for –" suddenly, Scrawny's expression turned from anger to shock and horror, his gaze fixated on the grove where the soda can had landed. "Oh holy shit GET DOWN!" Without warning, he jumped between Lynne and Loose & Lanky, shoving them either to the ground, or into the fountain in Loose & Lanky's case.
A shot rang out, and Scrawny crumpled to the ground. Well, it seemed that despite his reputation for irritating people, Scrawny did have some moral standards.
"Ain't yer little on the cute and cuddly side fer the Grim Reaper?"
I turned around – Scrawny had come to, and from the looks of him he'd had no trouble remembering who he was.
"I'm the dead guy, right?" Scrawny continued. "So how'd I do, do I go to heaven? Hell? Purgatory, reincarnation, what? Oh, or is that not your department?"
"Oh no," I said calmly. "This is all just a bad dream. In a minute or two you'll wake up and-"
"No I'm pretty sure I'm dead, I mean, I'm not breathing or any of that normal living shit…"
I rolled my eyes and went back down the path of time to the beginning of the events prior to Scrawny's death. Scrawny just stood there, staring apathetically.
"Do we have to watch this again?"
"You're watching," I replied. "I'm doing."
I started at foot at the fountain, where Scrawny had fallen. I looked towards the grove of trees that had attracted his attention.
"Is that where you saw the man with the gun?"
"Well, I didn't see who was holding it, but yeah, I saw something reflecting and when I looked I saw a gun nozzle."
"Ok then," I reached out towards the discarded soda can, "Let's see what's over there then."
Lynne kicked the can like she did before, and before I knew it I was flying through the air. The can landed not too far away from the grove, but I still couldn't see anything so I made the can roll so I could go in for a closer look. Scrawny watched this with some interest.
"Can I do freaky poltergeist shit like that, or is it a cat-only sorta thing?"
"What does it matter, you're dreaming, remember?"
"If I'm really dreaming, then make something fun happen, like a UFO or a fire-breathing dragon or something."
The can reached the edge of the bushes, and I could see the nozzle of the gun barrel.
"Okay," I looked around for an item I could jump for, "now to stop this guy from shooting you…"
I finally found a mouldy old shoe half-buried in the roots, not my preferred choice but you can't be picky when lives are at stake. From this vantage point, I could see the face of the would-be assassin – that dark grey fedora, overhanging a long pointed nose and that pale blue skin…
"Jeego?"
No, this one was Tengo, I could tell by his glasses and the type of gun he was carrying.
"Sorry Jeego, but I'm gonna nab that first-kill bonus whether you like it or not," he snickered. "Now who first, the red-head or the disco reject?"
Well, we'll just see about that! Looking around for a solution, I couldn't help but notice the absence of a certain grumpy orange cat and wishing I could make use of him again…
"Wait a sec," Scrawny said, "You mean to say you sicked that feral mutant on me?"
It was sometimes easy to forget the lack of privacy of one's thoughts in the Ghost World. "Well, it was either that or let you and Lynne die in a car crash."
"Wait, what?"
"Shush, I'm trying to focus…"
I then noticed that parked next to Tengo was a little black motorised scooter. Bingo! Originally I wouldn't have been able to possess an object this large, but time had strengthened my Ghost Tricks somewhat, so a little scooter like this was a cinch. I felt a little mischievous as I took control of the vehicle and kicked it into gear. Tengo heard the hum of the engine and turned to his machine, confused. Quickly I hit the accelerator, speeding right into his face. Naturally, Tengo jumped up with a yelp and ran off, and I gave chase, steering the little scooter to keep on his tail.
We went around in circles like this for a moment or two, Tengo screaming madly as he tried to shake me off. Eventually he grabbed his gun and fired several shots at me, puncturing a tire as well as the fuel tank, and ending my little escapade.
"Stupid new-fangled gadgetry!" fumed Tengo. He looked towards the Temsik fountain. "There goes the element of surprise. Aw beans, Commander Sith's gonna have my head for this…"
Sith. There was a name I never wanted to hear again.
From my place in the bullet-riddled scooter, I could see Lynne and the others making their way over to investigate the commotion. Tengo saw them, they saw Tengo. His bullets wasted on his scooter, Tengo took off down the street like a bat out of hell before anyone could reach him.
"Heeeey!" Loose & Lanky hollered after him. "You get back heeere!"
Too late. Tengo had vanished into the night.
"Well," I turned to Scrawny, "I do hope you enjoyed this little dream. Have a nice day!"
We returned to the present. Scrawny, disorientated and confused, patted himself down just to make sure he was really there. "Oh man, I gotta lay off on those brownies…"
In the distance I could see the Good Detective rushing up, "What happened? I heard gunshots."
"Yeah, so did we," Lynne pointed towards the direction Tengo had run off. "Some blue guy with a gun took out his frustrations on this scooter for some reason…"
The Good Detective was alarmed, "Did you just say 'blue guy'?"
Scrawny caught sight of my limp body hanging in the Detective's arms, "Uh dude is that cat… dead?"
Loose & Lanky folded his arms, "Call me craaazy, but was Little Boy Blue planning to use that piece of his on one of us?"
Lynne eyes widened in horror, "Oh gods – a sniper rifle… And we let him get away. Ugh!"
"Cursed, cursed! The Park is cursed!" the Guardian spun around madly, leaving me to I wonder how on earth he never got motion sickness. "The Gods are punishing us for removing the sacred Rock from its-!"
"Oh shut up! Does no-one give a shit that fuzz-face is carrying a DEAD CAT?"
Things were getting out of hand, so I took hold of the scooter's horn and gave a loud honk, causing everyone to jump. The Good Detective, realising I had given him a sign, walked up to my location in the scooter and pretended to inspect the scooter, allowing me access back to my body. Scrawny looked on in disbelief as I opened my eyes and twitched my ears.
"Narcolepsy," said the Good Detective. "Now, my colleagues and I have important, private business to discuss. If you'll excuse me, I should get back to the restaurant." He turned to Loose & Lanky. "And I assume I can meet you and Lynne back at HQ once I've taken Alma and Kamila home?"
"Wait," Lynne snapped, "What about-?"
"Not noooow, Lynne," growled Loose & Lanky.
Lynne got the hint, but from the way she scowled I could tell she wasn't happy. Scrawny was still gawking at me as the Good Detective and I made our way back to the restaurant. I got the uncomfortable feeling that my attempt to dupe him had failed, and with his stubborn, determined nature, he could turn out to be a real nuisance. Well, I was certain I could handle him. What really worried me was the return of the blue-skinned spies. What on earth were they doing here?
The next day proved my suspicions. I was at home with the Little Lady and Beloved Mother when there was a knock at the door. The Little Lady and I watched as Beloved Mother opened it, and lo and behold, there was Scrawny, a bunch of flowers in one hand, a box of chocolates in the other, and a big, phony smile plastered across his face.
"Morning ma'am," he said with forced cheer. "Reynard Charivari at yer service. I understand this is the house of a certain Detective Jowd?"
Beloved Mother folded her arms and gave Scrawny a suspicious sideways glance, "I'm his wife. He's not home at the moment."
"Oh gee, that's too bad! You see, I work for 'Tough Truths' magazine…" Scrawny tried to make his way inside, but the Beloved Mother stood her ground in the doorway. He gave a nervous cough before continuing. "Like I said, I'm a reporter for 'Tough Truths', and I was hoping to get an insight into the wonderful work your husband does for the community!"
"With perhaps a few little titbits on a certain high-profile case?" said the Beloved Mother, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, yes! I mean, uh… If you happen to have anything along those lines, I'm sure our faithful readers would greatly appreciate it." He caught sight of me in the hallway, and nearly jumped out of his pants in his attempt to get past the Beloved Mother to get at me. "Oh my gosh, is your cat? Aw but he's just the cutest little-!"
"Mister Charivari!" Beloved Mother stamped her foot on the ground.
This sudden display of anger was rare for the Beloved Mother. It was enough to stun Scrawny from his sycophantic sweet talk.
Beloved Mother looked him straight in the eye, "Let me tell you something, young man – being married to a police detective, you learn a few things. And one of the first things I learned was how to recognise dirt bag reporters. Now, my husband will be home any minute, and you'd better be gone by that time or you won't be able to sit for a week!"
"B-but I…" Scrawny sputtered. "Aw c'mon, just a few words for the yeee-OW!"
Beloved Mother rolled her eyes and reopened the door long enough for Scrawny to recover his squashed fingers from the frame, but quickly slammed it back in his face.
"Dammit lady! These flowers and shit were worth like twenty packs of instant noodles!"
The Little Lady giggled, "The funny man said some bad words."
The Beloved Mother glared at the door and went back into the kitchen to finish the chocolate cheesecake she had been working on, while the Little Lady and I resumed playing with my catnip mouse. However, not five minutes after there came another knock at the door.
Beloved Mother didn't answer the door straight away, but instead snuck over to the window and carefully peeked outside. Her frustrated groan told me all I needed to know.
"Kamila sweetie, do mommy a big favour and don't answer the door."
"Unless I peek through the window first, right?"
"Yes. And if it's that stupid reporter…"
"Don't worry Mom; I won't let anyone in unless it's Daddy or one of his friends."
"Good girl."
Almost immediately after this exchange, there was a third knock at the door. The Little Lady and the Beloved Mother looked at each other, unsure of what to do. But the Beloved Mother, in a flash of inspiration, picked up the chocolate cheesecake and gave her daughter a wicked smile.
"Kamila, I want you to stand by the door, and when I say 'now', open it for me please."
The Little Lady understood immediately what her mother had planned, "Sure thing mom!"
Oh boy, I just had to see this!
The Beloved Mother and the Little Lady took their positions at the door; the Little Lady's hand was on the knob, her eyes focused on her mother, while the Beloved Mother stood in the doorway, holding the cake at eye level. All was silent. Then there came another knock.
"Now!"
The Little Lady flung the door open, and with superb aim the Beloved Mother landed the cake dead-on – right in the face of her husband.
You could've heard a pin drop. Beloved Mother stared in horror as the Good Detective slowly wiped the cake from his eyes.
"Oh my stars," Beloved Mother gasped. "Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry…"
The Little Lady couldn't contain herself any longer; she doubled over and burst in laughter. The Good Detective, while undoubtedly caught off-guard, showed he hadn't lost his sense of humour as he licked the splattered cake off his fingers.
"Did I forget an anniversary or something, dear?"
"N-no, I thought you were that horrid reporter."
"Oh, yes, I did see him sulking around as I came in. He was bothering you?"
"I was able to handle him, don't worry."
The Good Detective chuckled and dabbed a glob of cheesecake on his wife's nose, "By wasting a perfectly good cheesecake?"
The Beloved Mother's face went red and she dragged her husband into the kitchen to help him wash up .By this time the Little Lady was laughing so hard that there were tears in her eyes and she had fallen to the floor. I had to admit, seeing the Good Detective with cookies crumbs and lumps of cream cheese tangled in his beard was pretty hilarious.
With my body safely tucked away in the Good Detective's sock drawer, I was able to accompany him to the police headquarters. Lynne had calmed down a little since last night, but I could tell she was still hurt by the deception from the way she looked at the Good Detective.
"Have you talked to her?" he asked Loose & Lanky.
"Noooot yet," he replied. "I thought it over, and I decided it would be best if we explained everything to her together. And I do mean eeeverything."
"That's probably a good idea," said the Good Detective. "Although really, we should've told her ages ago."
"Well, we're paying for it now," Loose & Lanky groaned as the two of them Lynne's desk.
Lynne spun around in her chair. "Ok. I'm ready."
Loose & Lanky and the Good Detective looked at one another, unsure of who should speak first, or even what to say.
Finally, Loose & Lanky cleared his throat. "Lynne, baby. What happened to you that day was due to a screw up on my part."
Lynne just blinked.
"Ten years ago," Loose & Lanky continued, "Yomiel was working on a major security program for the government. Kid was a genius, completely skipped junior high and graduated from college at just nineteen. But something happened. The program got leaked."
"Was he responsible?" asked Lynne.
"Nah, but he was a person of interest," replied Loose & Lanky. "I was given the job of questioning him, just getting a statement. But I got cocky," Loose & Lanky let his gaze fall to the floor as he recalled his past mistake. "I was green and wanted to impress my seniors, so I backed the kid against the wall, rattled him up. The way I played it, I made him think we had pinned everything on him, that his whole life was over." He turned his gaze back to Lynne. "I broke his spirit."
"I don't get it," Lynne said. "If you had him in custody…"
"Oh, it gets woooorse." Loose & Lanky sat on the desk. "I was called away. I must have left him, oh, five minutes tops, but I made one very, very stupid mistake. I left my gun behind."
Lynne was stunned. "So he got out because-"
"Uh-huh."
"And the gun he used was-?"
"Uuuuuh-huh."
Lynne took a deep breath and placed her hand over her mouth as she tried to take all of this in. "How could you do something so stupid?"
"Lynne baby," Loose & Lanky shook his head. "I've been asking myself that same question these past ten years."
"Ok," Lynne sighed, "fine. You screwed up, and I can live with. But in the end, he was the one who pointed the gun at me, not you."
"True," said the Good Detective. "But that's not the end of the story."
Lynne folded her arms and leaned forward slightly.
The Good Detective pulled up an empty chair and sat on it backwards, "Lynne, the fact you were taken hostage was my fault."
"What?"
"I chased Yomiel into the Park; that much is true. Lynne, what were you taught about those kinds of situations when you were still a cadet?"
Lynne bit her lip, "Stay back, and observe from a distance. An aggravated perp in a pubic area is never a good thing…" Lynne looked up at him. "That's what you did…right?"
The Good Detective hung his head. "No – I had my gun on him the whole time; I even fired a shot into the air to scare him. And that's when he grabbed you."
Lynne groaned and let her head fall backwards on the table, "I can't believe I'm hearing this…"
"There's one last thing you need to know," the Good Detective, "which should hopefully prove that Yomiel isn't the threat you perceive him to be. Lynne, when you came to, where were you?"
"In your arms," said Lynne, "you grabbed me before that big statue fell on top of me."
"With a hole in my leg? I needed Cabanela's help just to get into the ambulance!"
"But the only other guy there was…" Lynne's eyes flashed as she put two-and-two together. "No way, it was him?"
"Yes, Yomiel grabbed you and threw you to safety," said the Good Detective. "He could've made a run for it, but he didn't. And he got himself pinned under that statue as a result."
"It's true, Lynne," I told her, breaking my silence. "I was there too, remember?"
Lynne was quiet.
"We should have told you all of this ages ago, baby," said Loose & Lanky, "But, well, we were ashamed, I guess."
Lynne sat quietly for a while. Then she got up from her chair, "Well, we can't just sit here lounging around all day, we've got work to do."
Loose & Lanky and the Good Detective looked at her awkwardly. It was me who asked Lynne what was undoubtedly on their minds.
"Lynne, you've just taken in a lot," I said. "Are you sure you just want to jump into work?"
Lynne flashed her million dollar smile, and turned to her mentors, "I'm still a little mad, yeah. But didn't you two chew me out just the other day, for being an idiot? We're all human, we screw up." She sighed, "And I'll be sure to apologise to Yomiel and his wife, next time I see them. And thank him, of course." She put on a determined expression, "But right now, we have more important things to worry about, right?"
The Good Detective and Loose & Lanky looked at each other and smiled – things were back on track.
"Suuure thing, baby!" Loose & Lanky crooned. "First off, we've got the Twister case, and second is that guy who tried to shoot us last night!"
"I think Sissel and I can answer that part," the Good Detective said.
"What do you mean?" asked Lynne.
"In that other timeline, one that's been erased," the Good Detective said, "most of the trouble was caused by blue skinned foreign spies."
"Spies, huh?" Loose & Lanky raised an eyebrow. "Weeell, then this is problem for the special investigations unit."
"It's a little more complicated than that," said the Good Detective. "They had a reason for being here, a specific goal – to retrieve a piece of the Temsik meteorite."
Lynne and Loose & Lanky looked at each other anxiously.
"Now that you mention it," said Lynne, "immortality, the power to rewind time – it's make for a pretty powerful weapon."
"Wait, waaait," Loose & Lanky cut in, "I thought the powers of the meteorite were top secret!"
"It is," the Good Detective said. "It could be possible they're after something else, but-"
"But if they're not," finished Loose & Lanky, "then hooow the hell did they find out this time?"
"Probably the same way they found out last time?" suggested Lynne.
The Good Detective looked flustered, and I was feeling the pinch as well. All the problems that had occurred in the past timeline could be traced to one person – Yomiel. He had been the one to contact the blue-skinned foreigners and tell them about the fragment. It was only one of many actions he regretted, and I was certain that this time around he was not to blame. He simply had too much at stake. I felt bad about keeping Lynne out of the loop, and I'm sure the Good Detective felt the same. But I wanted to protect Yomiel. I wanted to see him happy.
Thankfully, providence threw in a welcome interruption, as a loud siren started blaring and a light on the wall began alternating in flashes of red and blue. Chaos erupted officers jumped from their desks straight into action.
"Security breach, code yellow!"
"Where?"
"The forensics lab!"
I jumped into Lynne's gun as she grabbed it and ran towards the forensics unit. As we arrived, I could see the fuss was centred on one area of the lab – the hall leading to the secure room containing the Temsik fragment. Needless to say, this didn't look good.
As we came closer, it turned out things weren't as bad as they first seemed to be. It was true that the Temsik room had been broken into; there was a strange electronic device attached to the door that was making all sorts of funny beeping sounds, and I could see Temsik radiation leaking from a metal suitcase on the floor. But a group of officers had a man pinned to the floor and were putting handcuffs on him.
"Lynne," I said. "Would you mind pushing forward a little please? I want to take a closer look."
Lynne complied, and I instantly recognised the man in question, the blue skin was a dead giveaway of course, but there was no mistaking those tired droopy eyes, the shaggy oversized moustache, or that slouched posture. The Phoney Doctor from the Fateful Night.
"He's one of them!" I told Lynne. "He's one of the spies from the other timeline!"
Lynne whispered this information into the ear of the Good Detective, who in turned passed it on to Loose & Lanky.
"Weeeell," said Loose & Lanky, "if there's anything good from out of all this, it's that we now know for certain what those spies are after."
"That being the case," mused Lynne, "it could have serious implications for the Twister investigation. He's got one of those rocks stuck in him, right?"
The Professor was nearby, shaking his head and muttering, "What an idiot, honestly."
"Why?" asked the Good Detective. "What happened?"
"I saw him hanging about," said the Professor, "and I thought something seemed a little off about him, so I went up to him and started some 'polite conversation', if you will. Claimed he was a bacterium specialist from the university. So I asked him a few questions about the new flu strain that's been going about. He started babbling about amazing breakthroughs in the science of microbiology and all sorts of nonsense, and that's when I sounded the alarm."
"Isn't influenza is a virus?"
"That's what I told him... moron."
I didn't quite understand what all those big words meant, but it was clear that the Phoney Doctor had goofed. As the Phoney Doctor was led away, the Professor picked up the suitcase and walked back into the holding room, took the meteorite shards from it and started placing them in the case. It was then I realised something odd. I quickly called on Lynne.
"Lynne, do you think you could go into the room and take a look around for me?"
"Yeah, sure."
Lynne went inside behind the Professor, and from there I got a better look at a strange phenomenon – when outside of the case, the Temsik let off its usual radiation as a flowing wave of energy. But once inside the case, the radiation seemed to stop. I asked Lynne to question the Professor for me on this issue.
"Oh, that?" huffed the Professor. "That'd be the insulation. It's built into the case in the off chance someone dropped dead in here."
"Kinda like a reverse fall-out shelter, then?" Lynne quipped.
"You could say that. But it was a pain in the ass trying to find a material that did the job, in the end I was forced to cook up some alloy that hasn't been used since the Middle Ages. I'm surprised that the disembodied house pet has never noticed before."
Lynne and I left the Professor to clean up the mess in the containment room and rejoined Loose & Lanky.
"Where's Jowd?" asked Lynne.
"He went to interrogate Mister I-Fail-Biology-Forever," Loose & Lanky replied.
"I thought you were the interrogation expert."
"Yes, but with Jowd's, uh, 'specialist knowledge' on the matter, I felt he should do the honours."
I'd never seen an interrogation room before, but I'm pretty glad they don't put them in homes or anything because, well, they're depressing, boring, and badly lit. Why anyone would want a room like that is beyond me. To be precise, it was more like two rooms divided by a big window, with Lynne, Loose & Lanky and I standing on one side, while on the other side of the window the Phoney Doctor and the Good Detective were seated at opposite sides of a metal table.
"So," said the Good Detective, leaning back casually in his chair, "how was the submarine ride?"
The Phoney Doctor blinked stupidly. "Wh-wh… what?"
"You didn't get seasick or anything I hope? Oh and how is Mister Sith? Has he been well?"
The Phoney Doctor said nothing, but the look on his face clearly said, 'Who the hell is this guy and how does he know all this?'
"Oh, and by the way," the Good Detective leaned forward across the table, with a deceptively friendly grin, "just how did you know about the Temsik meteorite?"
The Phoney Doctor was sweating profusely as he squirmed in his chair, his eyes were darting around the room and he twiddled his fingers. "U-um…. I-I'd like to contact the embassy, please…"
The Good Detective got up from his chair and headed for the door, "Of course. Be sure to tell your ambassador that I'm very interested in having a good, long chat."
I was confused, "Um Lynne, what just happened?"
"That, Sissel," said Lynne with a smile, "is a little thing us cops like to call 'leverage."