Risk part 2

Game night wrapped up not long afterwards; Ellie won, shocking.

Jimmy, Shawn and Carrie all took off for home while I stuck around to help Ellie clean up the mess. Joel wouldn't be coming home till morning since he was out at the Power Plant doing his weekly security shift. So this gave Ellie and I a chance for some quiet 'girl' time. While she started washing the dishes, I went into their armory room to get what we both could enjoy now that the others were gone.

I always felt a swell of pride knowing that Joel and Ellie both trust me to know how to get into that room. The door had two massive looking bolt locks that looked impossible to get pass without the keys or a large sledgehammer, except those locks were useless decoration. Instead there was a switch above the door that unlocked the door and allowed you inside. It was quiet clever once Joel showed me how the switch worked.

You know, the more I get to know Joel the more I realize that he is heck of a lot sneaker and smarter than he lets on. When you see him, he looks like a big, mean man who uses guns and fist as a catch-all to solve all life's problems. Nor does he really goes out of his way to let you know that isn't really him. But after you get to spend sometime with him, you began to see that his quiet ways actually hid a rather practical man who would rather find any other way than violence to get through the day. And Ellie is always right behind him learning and improving.

"Here we go," I said holding up the bottle of Scotch as I walked in the kitchen.

"Yes!" Ellie said, with her eyes lighting up.

I pour us a couple of shots of the fifty year old Scotch as she dried her hands on a towel. Handing her one of the shots, I held up the other one. "Cheers!"

...

Oh my Gosh!

"Smooth," Ellie squeak out.

"Does it ever stop burning," I said when I could speak again.

"I don't think so," she said gasping as well. "Joel still have the same reaction no matter how often he drinks it."

"Is this stuff really fifty years old?"

"Close enough," Ellie said pouring another shot for both of us. "The label said it 'Made in 1987' when Joel found it. Speaking of which ..." She twisted around, hopped on the counter and sat on her knees while feeling around on the top of the cabinets.

Her bare feet were just screaming for me to tickle them, it was my one dirty pleasure. My siblings knew that I just love tickling their feet if they waved them around in front of me like this. It took every bit of self-control not to tickle her.

Still, I wonder just how she can run around the house during the winter with bare feet, especially on the cold title floors they have in their house. I have thick wool socks on and I can still feel the cold seeping in from the ground. I guess if I walked around my house all the time barefoot, I would get use to it after a while. Yeah, she is probably just use to it, after all no one enters her house wearing shoes!

No one!

Joel told me about that rule the first time I followed him in the house, while she was still in the clinic. After seeing how she spent weeks laying down all these titles, I can see why she didn't want anyone messing them up.

And it was a work of art! Once you saw it, wearing shoes inside seem so wrong. There were large 'cooler' color titles in the kitchen area, the main hallway leading to the bedrooms and the outer area of the living room. In the living room the titles got smaller the closer to the fire-place you got and the colors changed slowly to a warmer variety. Just in front of the fireplace, they spelled out their names in a bright sunny yellow with a single red title separating their names. The first time I saw it; no, every time I look at it; I am just blown away by their creativity.

"Hey! Stop that, it tickles," she laugh out as she swung around with a magazine in her hand.

Got to work on that naughty impulses of mine … someday.

Maybe.

"Here, this is for you," I reached for it but she kept it out of my reach while wearing that smug smile of hers. "Now remember; no sharing."

"Isn't that phrase 'sharing is car … oh!" When I saw what it was my giggling went into high. "Oh … oh!" Hustler! "Where do you find this one? I though you had to destroy all the ones we found … wait ! This is a new one!" I leaned back against the counter as she sat next to me with her legs swing back and forth.

"I found it a couple of days before Joel and I went hunting. I was going to give it to you then but you know; that whole 'bear' thing happened."

"Mm, well, this might make up for scaring me to death … maybe," I playfully bop her on the head with the magazine. "Just next time, don't try to hug Mr. Bear okay?"

"Again, it was trying to eat Joel."

"So you saved it from indigestion by killing it?" I gave her a raise eyebrow before returning my attention to the magazine.

"Everyone is a critic," she said while letting out a big sigh. She was quiet for a minute or so while looking over my shoulder. "So, you really like the new issue then?"

"I … I like to read the articles, you know," Okay, stuttering wasn't very convincing, neither was the blush I could feel burning on my cheeks.

Ellie turn the magazine in my hand sideways and made a Humph noise in the back of her throat, "I see what you mean, very impressive articles."

"Oh hush you."

"There you go again Mary-Ann with that fucking gutter mouth of yours," Ellie sasses out as I stuck my tongue out at her. I guess I was really busy looking over the … articles … and Ellie was too quiet because when she spoke again, I kind of jump. "Mary-Ann, I … I … please don't be mad at me, for earlier you know … I'm … I'm just worry, you know. And I know why you don't wan to … with your dad and all … it's just ..."

"I'm not mad Ellie," I put the magazine down and leaned against the counter to face her as she studied the full shot glass in her hands intently. "And … well, it is nice to know that, you know, that you are looking out for me and all."

"Thanks," she answered in almost a whisper. "Believe me when I say that … I don't want you to act just like me, you know. You are … so much better than me ..." I start to argue with her but she did her best to talk over me. "You are … you don't know what … I had to do to survive … what almost … if I fail, if the pieces of shit out there ever get in here. I want you to live, to survive."

"I will always be okay with you around," I said trying to reassure her but she just shook her head.

She took a small sip of her Scotch before letting out another sigh, "and if my luck runs out?" When I didn't answer, she took my silence as a sign to plow on with her point. "If my luck runs out, if Joel's luck runs out … if the very shitty evil men get past us. I don't like thinking about either but I have too." Then she hit me with a blind side shot that really annoyed me, "and it isn't just about you either, what about the kids who are too young ..."

"That is a cheap shot, Ellie!"

"I know," she answered softly but her eyes reveled the strength of her convictions.

"You know how I feel about shooting people … about any kind of violence … heck I cry my eyes out every time they took a … we all know why they moved me from the Stables! I can't do it Ellie," Not after what happened to my dad, I didn't say it but it was hanging there in the air as clearly as if I written it in black marker on the wall.

I grab the bottle and pour myself another shot, down it as I sat down at the table. I pour another shot willing those memories to stay in the back of my mind, hidden way. Those memories do not hurt as much as they used to but it didn't mean I enjoy bring them up in my head.

"I'm sorry about your father, Mary-Ann; I'm sorry you had to see that happen to him," Ellie said softly from her spot on the counter as I nurse my drink staring at nothing but the floor title.

"I hate guns," I whispered out. "I hate how easy it makes to destroy people's lives. He was just walking home from work, you know, just minding his own business. He never carried a gun, he didn't ever believe he need one, he wasn't a threat to anyone. He just want to spend his time with me." I took a sip, letting me eyes trace out the patterns on the floor as the memories refuse to stay out of my head. "The guards, the ones who pulled me away; they just keep telling me how sorry they were and how he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. We never did find out of they ever found out which gang members fired the shots or if they even bother looking for them." I looked over at Ellie, to see her staring back at me; her expression was unreadable. "Do you think if he had a gun or knew how to use one back then he would be here today, do you?" I angrily wiped away the tears from my eyes. "One stupid gang insults another stupid gang and … my life destroyed."

"I think," Ellie said hesitantly as she got down from the counter to walk over to me. After pouring herself a shot, no doubt to steady herself from the holy heck she knew I would launch back at her, she knelt in front of me and grab one of my hands. "I think you dad is one of the most special and bravest men who ever lived."

"He was." I nodded slowly squeezing her hand.

"I wish I could have met him, I think Joel would have liked to have met him as well."

"He had a very strong faith in God, he taught me how to read by reading his pocket bible to me every night. He was so excited when mom and dad … I mean Helen and James … when they told us about Mr. Rogerson's plans to move out to Jackson. A place were we could grow food, live in safety … live without fear." I'm not sure what dad would have though of Ellie and Joe.

Those two were, after all, extremely violent, were not Believers, and had few, if any, morals; the dad in my memories wouldn't have approved of them. But … mom has told once that my dad would have not only approve of Joel and Ellie but would have accepted them openly. Mom has faith that God does His work in mysterious ways, that we can never full understand His Plan. I know that my real dad believe that as well with all of his heart. Pastor Ken has said before, as well, that just because someone professes not to believe, doesn't mean God wasn't working His Will through them.

Still, it wasn't until after Ellie opened her library, did I really began to see both of them in a different light. Well, yeah, they both are still really scary but they also have a softer side to them. They're also as dedicate to making Jackson a success as everyone else here.

"But Ellie, he wasn't a fighter ..."

"Yeah, so? You think people who just kill other people are brave?"

"No, but ..."

"You know what I think? I think that you just as brave as your dad; that you are one of the bravest, most fearless people I have ever met ..."

"Oh come on!" I rolled my eyes at that one.

"No, Mary-Ann, it is true ..."

"Ugh, Ellie, come on stop with the jokes, there is no way anyone would ever say that I am fearless ..."

"Bullshit, you are; you have a strength and bravely that ..."

"Ellie!" I said loudly, pulling my hand away from her and crossing my arms while staring down at her. "Lying to me isn't going to get me to agree to your crazy scheme you know. Everyone knows the truth about me, I have accepted that I will never be as brave as you!"

"Bullshit!" She wobbled a bit as she stood to pour herself and me another shot. She tried to sit on my lap a couple of times before I relented and allow her to sit down. Mostly because I was afraid she would fall if I didn't, I still had to put one arm around her waist to steady her. Using my other hand, I down my shot with her. How many shots are we in so far? "Complete, fucking, bullshit my blond hair, skirt wearing, cute friend; you are brave as me if not braver."

"So says the girl who kills bears."

"YEP!" Ellie screamed and stuck her nose up in the air. "I know brave when I see brave. So let me tell you a story, my friend. One day, a couple of weeks after we came home, I had just returned from taken a pleasant stroll through town ..."

"You mean you sneaked out to the restricted part of town, again?" I edited playfully.

"And Steven happened to stop me to inquire about my carefree day ..."

"He grilled you about sneaking out … again."

"HA!" Ellie said swaying a bit from swing her one arm around. "You say 'to-may-toe' and I say 'Shawn is a fucking asshole'."

"How drunk are you," I asked giggling, good thing I'm not as drunk as she was.

"I'm as judge as a sober, but we need to finish my story time. So there we were, by the main gate, when the call came out over the radio! Mass hysteria at the main stable, destruction and mayhem ruled the day … a revolt of … of … what's the word for something really big and spackerlerler … er.

"You mean 'epic'?

"Yes! Epic!" Her eyes got as big as her grin as she reached for the bottle again. Her smile turn into a pout as I grabbed the bottle from her, I had too. I didn't want to see her spill it all over herself or me. Considering I needed to use both hands to not spill it myself, I blame her for moving the table while I was trying to pour, because I'm not drunk. Her pout melt away as I hand her one last shot. "So it was a revolt of epic port … port … size, nay a jailbreak of inmens … inmes … huge scale! For as far as the eyes could see, millions and billions of ..."

"There were only fifty rabbits and twenty lambs," I corrected.

Ellie tried to give me a stern look but we both just start giggling again, "who is telling the story? I think that be me."

"Forgive me, do go on."

"Thank you," she said with an air of superiority that really made me giggle considering how drunk she was. "So uncounted number of ..."

"I could count them."

"Vast numbers of small wooden animals were hooping and jumping and doing whatever they do all around the stables in a vain and ultimatitlyyy fruit-title bid for freedom. What evil master mind could be behind so a dioblick … deoplick … evil plan? And there she was, standing tall in the sun with a bunny in her arms and tears of rebellion running down her face; this tall, and wearing a bib overall dress … do you wear anything but dresses?"

"Have you ever worn one?" I said smirking, "and I was crying because Mr. Killjoy was yelling at me and I hate being yelled at; I was scared."

"Yet, you knew that would happened when you released all those cute and very delicious bunnies! Still, you believe what you did was worth the price you would have to pay later. It was at that moment that I thought 'this girl is my kind of girl, she is going places'!"

"Oh I went somewhere alright, straight to the greenhouses."

"Pftt," she almost fell off my lap as she made dismissing wave with her right hand. "The point is you were will to stand up for something you believe in regardless of the pain you would feel. That takes guts and you know, something you should be proud of."

"Well, still not as brave as you, you know."

"Brave is what a person does when life throws them a pile … a pile … shitty shit shit and they deal with it, Mary-Ann. After all, what would you call someone who protects another's most valuable treasure when that person is taking a very well deserve vacation in the clinic?" I didn't answer her, but she took my silence as sign that she was right. "That cunty wanky wanted to ransack my library while I was out of it. Barbra, fucking bitch, is too cowardly two face me directly but all was good, because there she was, my hero, standing tall and saying 'Fuck you, Bitch! You won't take this books!'"

"I do not say words like that, you know." I said struggling to hold her up as she sway dangerously from side to side.

"No, you did, I clearly hear you utter those exact words!"

"Really? While you were on the other side of the building and in a coma; you could hear me in the library?"

"Yep yep, I did because I'm the 'L'; fear me all you uptight wacko bitches!"

As she twisted around to sit in my lap while attempting to swing those short arms of hers around my neck, I set out to clarified her memory about what really happened that day. "Anyways, I'm still not sure how running into your office clutching those Potter books, locking the door behind me and bawling my eyes out until Mrs. Wilson showed up is exactly being brave?"

"You could have stood out-of-the-way, or gone to find Maria and leave the library unprotected … I could have never hated you no matter what you decided and the fact is you stayed. I could only admire that strength. And that is why I know if I fail," her eyes closed as she lay her head against my shoulder. "If I fail, I know I can count on you being strong and doing everything you can to save the little ones. I know you wouldn't go into the emergency shelter until the children were already secure, even if it means risking yourself." She then pulled away from me and grabbed my head in both of her hands, forcing me to look into her eyes. "I don't want you to think that I expect you to join me on a hunting trip or crawling through the town with a knife in your teeth looking for a clicker to jab. I will never ask that of you, ever! I just want to make sure you have the skills, skills that I pray every Sunday that you never, ever, have to use. I want you to have a fighting chance to survive."

"If I agree … I said if," I had to repeat as she started screaming 'yea' loudly and doing a really bad dance that made it hard for me to not laugh or to hold on to her to make sure she didn't fall on the floor. "If I agree to your crazy idea, how do you propose that we do this? Steven doesn't just let anyone use the firing range."

"We can use another one," she said … well, she tried to look sly but well, she was too drunk to keep a straight face for long and had us both giggling again.

Silly girl, she can't hold her liquor.

"What other one, since when has the town has another ..." I broke off as something clicked in my head. Oh heck! She wouldn't, they wouldn't … would they? "You have your own firing range, don't you?" She didn't say a word, that grin told me everything I need to know. Yep, they would. "Ellie! Really?"

"It's in the basement of course, what else would you use all that big open space for?"

"Most people use the basement to store things."

"Pftt, that is what the garage is for."

"Ugh, you are something else, you know that," I could stop giggling, it wasn't because of the Scotch. Nope, it was that weird attempt to look innocent got me laughing.

"Hey, you never know when you might wake up in the middle of the night and decide to shoot off a few rounds or give the punching bag a few punches." She slurred out as she laid her head against my shoulder.

"Okay, tell you what Ellie; I will consider it," I said after long moment of quiet between the two of us. "I'm only going to think about because, you know, I know that you wouldn't put me in a situation that would get me hurt or anything. Just we can't let anyone know, okay? I don't want Jimmy to find out or worst, Steven to find out. Learning to defend as a last-ditch action, I can almost agree to that but standing guard duty or being assigned to hunting, I just can't do that. I know you understand and thank you for being understanding. We are friends, best friends. So I will think about and give you an answer soon, okay?" She didn't answer but that is okay because I knew she understood … wait? Was she snoring? "Ellie?"

No answer.

No, she didn't … I pushed her head back a bit and … she did.

Dear God, our Father in Heaven, please forgive me for the words about to escape my lips, I thought to myself as I tried to shake Ellie awake.

Nope, no good, she is out cold, sitting in my lap.

"Oh … Cow Pie!"