I stood up as I heard the door open. Walking in was my youngest patient to date; he was only a few years older than me, with shoulder-length black hair tied back and completely bulging with muscles. He certainly wasn't as good-looking as he thought he was, although he probably would be had it not been for his excessive muscles, but he was a better sight than my last patient.
"Gaston, I'm Dr. Russell." I put my hand out.
"Doctor?" he asked in surprise. "Since when have they allowed women to become doctors?" He sat down on the couch.
Wow, quite the charming little prick, I thought. "So Gaston, I'm just going to ask you questions about yourself."
"How about instead of asking me, when I get out of here I'll show you everything you need to know about me."
"Are you seriously hitting on me?"
"Of course. You're the most beautiful girl I've seen since I arrived here."
"That's because every other woman here is old enough to be your mother."
"True, but you are very beautiful. Not as beautiful as Belle of course, but I don't think anyone is."
"Can we please just get this over with?"
"If things were going my way then we'd already be done by now."
I don't think I had ever been so frustrated with a patient before. I was so close to losing it and breaking my professionalism. "You're disgusting."
"That's not the word I would use to describe me."
At this point I knew that he was trying to procrastinate the interview, and that if I kept going in this banter I would've given him what he wanted. "First question," I said, finally putting an end to it, "tell me about your childhood."
"What would you like to know about it?"
"Everything."
"Well, I lived in the same town my whole life, I was an only child, I had two dogs, and… yeah. My mother did everything for me, spoiled me like a prince, while my father taught me everything I know. He didn't teach me how to read; in fact I still remember what he said to me, 'Reading is just a waste of time. There's nothing important in those things that you can't learn in the real world for yourself.' He's the one who taught me how to hunt and took me drinking for the first time. Although I will never forget the most important piece of advice he ever gave me: 'Son, as you know women exist for one reason only, to provide children. And the prettier the wife, the prettier the children will be. So when you see the most beautiful woman you've ever seen in your life, regardless of if she's or you're already married, you go after her and make her your wife. And if not your wife, at least make her the mother of your children. Although wife would be better because then you'll have someone to take care of the children as well as yourself, plus you'll have someone to show off to everyone else to make them jealous of you.' What my father had said made perfect sense. After all, my mother was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, or at least until Belle came along."
So it's your father's fault that you're such an egotistical misogynist, I thought.
"That's why I fell so madly in love with Belle. She was, and is, the most beautiful girl I've ever laid my eyes on. The only problem was that all she wanted to do was read. I couldn't have a wife like that; do you know how bad that would've made me look? After all, the whole point of making Belle my wife was so that I would look good to everyone else, and we would have the best looking children in town."
"What you're talking about isn't love, it's lust. All you want is a girl who will make the best trophy wife. And from what it sounds like, it seems like you've never even been in love before."
"Yes I have. Did you not hear me explain my love for Belle?"
"If you really loved her as much as you say you do, then you wouldn't find her intelligence to be such a flaw. And may I remind you that just a few minutes ago you were coming on to me because you think I'm beautiful too, but at the same time putting down my profession. But because you like the way I look, does that mean you're in love with me?" Gaston was left speechless. "I thought so," I said with a smug smile. "So do you still have feelings for Belle despite the fact that she's now happily married?"
"Of course. She's still the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. As soon as I'm out of here, I'm going to go and get her back if it's the last thing I do. That is, of course, unless you change your mind about my offer…"
"No." I stood up and closed my notes. "Thank you Gaston, I think I have everything I need. You can go now."
"Fine." He began to walk out. "But you will regret turning down my offer. It's hard to find guys out there who are as good looking as me."
I shut the door as he left. "I hardly doubt that," I said to myself. That was the worst experience I had had with a patient thus far. Although as much as I hate to admit it, I couldn't help but feel a little flattered that he considered me the second most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, or at least beautiful enough to want to pursue me. I sat down at my desk and checked my list, hoping that my next patient won't be anywhere near as insufferable as Gaston. "Jafar," I read. At this point I didn't really know what to feel anymore, just as long as I don't have another experience like Gaston.