Chapter Six

Sad Looks

Jack and I sat across from each other in my cabin. It was dark. Shadowy, evil dark in which you could easily imagine spiders crawling up your back, or an icy hand reaching out to grab you, or another world where the word freedom has never been spoken- not a whisper, perhaps not even a thought… a hopeless dream, at best. A nightmare to both Jack and I.

Candlelight flickered, catching the pirate's deep, dark brown eyes. My blonde hair shone. There was an empty bottle that had once contained rum, Jack's favorite beverage, on the table, and it sent out light it had captured in the glass, twisting it in odd, unearthly ways. Merely playing with it, toying with it, refusing to let it shine free. The beads in Jack's long, unkempt hair glistened. I couldn't help remembering the trick, when I told him that he was handsome. He was. Really. But he didn't have a good heart. And that was what mattered. I kept my eyes down, and refused to acknowledge his presence. But I knew he was there, and he knew that I knew that he was there, so there wasn't much to be done. Ignoring a pirate is hard. Don't try it at home.

The atmosphere was generally creepy. I felt suddenly alone, unwanted, stupid, unimportant, ugly, disloyal, a coward… that stuff. I felt my eyes zone out on the table in front of me.

We stayed stationary like that for a minute. Then, Jack reached for the rum bottle, and I gave a violent jolt. The movement had startled me.

"Sorry, love," he murmured as he tipped it upside down to be sure it was empty. He caught a couple drops, then set it down again, dissatisfied.

"Why is the rum always gone?"

"Because you drink it." A spider was climbing up my back. I knew it. And any second it was going to sink its poisonous fangs into me, sealing my fate forevermore…

"Stop it," I said to myself. Jack glanced up.

"Stop what, my love?"

"Not you…" I inspected my hair in the candlelight. When I glanced up at the pirate captain again, he surprised me. He was watching me, and there was something in his eyes… Pain? Regret? Longing? Whatever it was, it quickly faded once he dropped his gaze.

I considered this for a moment. Jack Sparrow and pain? The words didn't go together. Something was wrong.

"Jack." I made my voice urgent. Whenever I do that, he tends to get semi-serious. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, love." The pirate's voice shook a little, but it was soon steady and deep again. "Second thoughts about Barbossa."

"Here." I rose and reached under my bed, grabbing the magic that separated me from the world sometimes. "Play." I shoved the guitar in his hands. He glanced up and nodded.

It was all too right. Everything melted into nothing except Jack, the guitar and I. With Mom, everything was wrong. I could feel that I didn't belong where I was. But now I did belong.

Jack's tune was slow and mournful. I sneaked a peek at his eyes, and they were full of the same emotion. He was pouring his heart into the music.

Was he really this sad about Barbossa?

Slower, sadder, slower, sadder. Poor Jack. What was wrong with him?

The music changed. It was an action song, and I could picture Davy Jones and I sword fighting to it. I gripped the compass in my pocket, like it was a lifeline. I chanced another glance at the pirate. His eyes were back to normal, and he was happy again. Had I just imagined it? I must have. It was just an illusion, like the spiders…

When Jack finished, the world had righted itself. Of course I was wanted! I was the Golden Lion! I was smart! How could I have thought that I was dumb?

"Is that better, love?" Jack handed me the Spanish guitar.

"Yeah, thanks." I tucked it under the bed again and rejoined him in the candlelight.

The stars outside would have provided more light, but neither of us felt like moving. This was a moment of serenity, just one little moment of peace to grab and cling to, and I was doing my best.

Jack's eyes had that playful twinkle. "Well, love, it's ten o clock. Time for bed."

"Not yet, please," I muttered.

"So you're admitting to the fact you want to spend time with me."

I couldn't help laughing. Out of relief, mainly. Jack was fine.

Jack looked up, amused. "What are you laughing at? I'll give you something to laugh at!"

I had been standing up, and he tackled me gently onto the bed. He hovered over me for a moment, me laughing, him smirking, and finally wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up. He then set me down on the ground.

"Jack!" I laughed, but then my blood ran cold. I remembered Megan telling me about how Jack seduced women, and amusing them was one of his main strategies.

I whirled around and said icily, "Okay. Bed time."

When I turned around again, Jack's eyes had that sad look, but when he saw me turn he quickly righted it. "Come, now, love. It's just a bit of fun."

"I happen to know what just a bit of fun can turn into," I snarled. "Blow out the candle and let's get in bed."

The pirate obeyed, looking more than a little disappointed. As he got in bed, I had to snarl quietly to myself again. I'd never let that womanizer break my heart.