Short 7 - Cheating is Fun

I can be such a cheating bastard.

For various reasons I had been avoiding visits to the "Star Wars" galaxy during the timeframe that Janias and Camilla came from, the biggest being that I knew it would make them extremely uncomfortable and scared of being recaptured by the Sith.

But sometimes things don't go according to plan. Sometimes when you plan to take your Companions to a scenic Alderaanian valley you end up carrying the three wrong or some such and your coordinate puts your TARDIS in that valley during the Sith Empire's war with the Republic, in this case after the breaking of the Treaty of Coruscant.

I stepped out into the cool mountain air, felt snow crunch under my shoes, and looked out at what appeared to be a planetary defense cannon protected by anti-air blaster cannons. One was firing in the direction of a gray, sharp-angled dropship that screamed "I'm Imperial!" and the other was firing on what I easily recognized as a workhorse Republic Army troop dropship.

"Yay. Like I didn't get enough of this bloody map back in my past life," I mumbled to myself.

"What was that, Doctor?", I heard Camilla ask from behind me.

"Oh, nothing. Just a battle in the war you and Janias joined me to avoid," I replied.

In the distance, the middle cannon turned and faced the Republic Dropship. I grimaced. "Ooh, not good." After all, this was the Real Thing, not a PVP match where nothing ever matters save final scores and bloated or burnt egos. "You ladies hold the fort, I want to check on this."

Leaving my nervous companions behind I walked down, psychic paper in hand, until a Republic trooper challenged me. I brought the paper up and masqueraded as SIS. "Oi, it doesn't look like you lot are doing too well. I'm the Doctor, SIS."

And indeed not. On the upper walkway of the central area, the structure supporting the planetary defense cannon, I saw a pair of troopers taken down by a pair of Sith warriors and a Sith inquisitor, a Jedi Knight with them getting cut down in the process. One of the Sith was brought down in the process, but it was clearly going the way of the Imperials. A Jedi in medic robes ran up to aid them as other troops brought them to safety. From the walkway I could see a Sith spit down at his fallen adversaries, laughing madly and issuing threats.

I wanted to face-palm. Typical Sith buffoonery. They have no elegance, no style. At least men like Johnnie Marcone acted civilized.

"Agent... Doctor?" The Republic Army Captain in charge of the battle saluted to me as we came up to the controls for the one turret in Republic hands. It was, as you can imagine, the western turret, that is, "grass".

"Just coming to check on things," I answered. "Tough fight?"

"Sith veterans, and most of my men are new to this kind of fight," the Captain answered. He didn't seem to care about my "Imperial" accent one whit, which I found interesting. "If we lose that DropShip we're stranded, we'll all be killed or captured for sure."

I could see fear flash in the eyes of a couple of the younger Jedi and one spacer volunteer. Being a Sith prisoner was not an inviting prospect. My Companions had made that clear even after my imagination provided most of the likelihoods.

"Oh, don't worry, I can evacuate you. But let's see about this situation." I pulled out my sonic screwdriver and went to work on the controls for the western turret. I cycled through command routines and communications protocols until I found what I wanted. "As I thought. Nobody would be daft enough to not design this thing to work from any node. Now I just have to change the security settings... But I get ahead of myself, first things first." I held up my sonic and set it to a sensitive scan cycle. I moved it about until I was facing a corner of the platform nobody was occupying. A telltale power trace came from that direction. I triggered a feedback pulse geared to Imperial technology.

There was a burst of sparks and a flicker in the air. A human man in a combat suit appeared from nothingness, a blaster rifle in his arms. He had clear Imperial insignia.

The Republic forces brought their weapons up and took the man prisoner before he could move. "Please, get his wireless. I'll need it in a moment." I went to work on the node again, running my sonic screwdriver over it and pressing buttons. "There we go. Security protocols reset, control system locks ready..."

"Shields are failing, we need to recapture those weapons," I heard crackle over a trooper's radio. It was the Republic dropship's commander. Given the flames leaping from a direct hull hit on his ship I couldn't blame him too much.

"Patience, patience, can't rush good work... anyway, checks are done. And we are ready." I looked to the commander. "I really recommend you prepare defensive positions here. They're not going to take this well." When he answered with a nod and called upon his forces to fall back, I brought out the sonic. "And... there we go!" I triggered the sonic screwdriver right at the controls.

In the distance we could hear the machinery rumbling. The two other anti-air turrets stopped firing on the damaged Republic ship and twisted to face the Imperial vessel. Three steady barrages of blaster fire now converged on the sole target. The Republic forces all looked in amazement at their unexpected turn of fortune.

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a three cap!", I proclaimed.

Yes, I cheated at Civil War from TOR to make a better Imperial team lose. In my defense... this wasn't a game anymore but real for these beings, and anything that involves halting the triumphs and spread of an order built upon torture, murder, and enslavement is by definition acceptable and not cheating at all.

I held my hand out to the young Cathar spacer who was holding the captured Imperial operative's wireless. She nodded and gave it to me. I put it on for the moment. "Hello there Imperials. As you may have noticed, your controls are locked out and all turret controls have been relayed to the Republic position. Yes, I know you're hacking, er, slicing them right now, but I can assure you that you don't have the time to do that. Your options are to either throw yourselves in a suicidal charge against the defenses of these controls or to do the smart thing." I grinned. "Run away. And I do mean run away. I want to see you running away screaming like frightened little children. Because your only alternative is capture or death. I do imagine, however, that you will enjoy Republic captivity far more than they'd enjoy Imperial. You might want to make your choice quickly, that dropship of your's won't last forever."

I heard an outraged Imperial officer shout, "What treason is... WHO IS THIS?!"

"Who am I?" I grinned with amusement. "I'm the Doctor. Now... run."

My arrogant little speech got their attention. But the SIth decided to conquer or die and rushed the node. I brought out my sonic disruptor - it's not a blasting rod, dammit, I don't care how many times Harry Dresden does the "Ripoff" cough! - and held my place in the line, knocking out lightsabers and blasters with repeated shots. A number of Sith found their lightsabers failing just before a Jedi lightsaber cut into them. Not one of the black-robed monsters survived the fight; their non-Force-using auxiliaries did eventually flee, and just before their dropship's engines exploded. The dropship fell into the snow.

A cheer rose from the Republic ranks. As they celebrated their victory I slipped off back to the TARDIS, enjoying the entire experience. It was cathartic, certainly, and quite fun for me. The girls were waiting for me at the door. "Doctor... what was that?"

"Oh, just finishing my weekly," I joked. When they gave me their usual look of confusion whenever I said something relating to my old life, I winked. "I just delivered a victory to the Republic. There's a Sith war fleet in orbit that's stumbling over itself to get away before that cannon out there blows them to bits."

That brought a smile to their faces. I, meanwhile, went to the TARDIS controls and began fixing my prior error, setting our arrival for about five hundred years before the Death Star blew the planet up.

As I did so, I briefly thought of... nothing. Nothing, because the memories of exchanging "inc" calls and strategies with people over voice chat were empty for me by then. I remembered playing this battle, yes... but not the people I did it with.

Camilla seemed to notice the melancholy mood that came over my face. She stepped up and took my hand. "This has something to do with the memories you've lost, doesn't it Doctor?"

"Yes," I said. I didn't sound nearly so pained as I had on prior occasions. How does one lament a lost memory that you are even forgetting you once had?

"I'm sorry." Camilla put her arms around me. "But you still have us. We're here for you."

"Thank you." I put my left hand on her arm and used the other hand to shift the TARDIS into a different time.

I knew even then that the time was fast approaching when I wouldn't even remember what it was like to be Human. And my showboating in the battle, my goading the Sith like I did, was certainly entertaining, maybe even a deserved experience for the monstrous Sith... but it also told of my growing arrogance.

Sure, I would become a bogeyman for all sorts of horrible things. The Sith, the Cardassians, the Borg... all would come to fear the Time Lord known as the Doctor, and I would be just as celebrated by the peoples they victimized. I don't deny I did good and I don't regret the good I did. But those triumphs fueled the worst in me as well, and I shall share that painful story with you when the time is right.

I suppose I don't want that time to come. For all I was blundering about, falling off skyscrapers and fighting zombies and getting tricked by nefarious bunnycats and meeting the Meat... these early times were maybe my happiest. The Multiverse was new and exciting. My Companions and I saw so much for the first time. Our adventures were more personal and fun, even if dangerous. If only that time had lasted forever.

Instead, it was already coming to an end.

The days of the Time Lord Triumphant were coming.