Short 10 - The Box Closes
I remember well this occasion. I had taken the girls to one of the lesser advanced Earths and stood with them upon a promontory of San Juan Island, of the San Juan Islands north of Puget Sound. They watched with joy the frolicking of a family of Orcas off-shore; it was a lovely sight, seeing those black shapes rise and fall into the crystal blue.
A memory briefly flashed through my head. I had been here, hadn't I? I'd been here with dear friends. I closed my eyes and focused on that memory.
All it did was give me a headache. The memory refused to come back.
In frustration I sought out other old memories of my past life. As I did I felt a growing sense of horror that I could not even remember what to look for. I remembered facts - about the cosmoses I had experience with, about locations and dates and other trivia - but never the substance of them. No family or friends. Nothing. Nothing.
The old "me" was completely gone, drawn into that little box in my head that Bob the Skull had told me about when I met him in Harry Dresden's basement lab.
And the box was now closed.
I went up to Camilla and Janias. "Do you remember why I wanted to come here?", I asked urgently.
"What?" Janias was befuddled, broken out of whatever reverie she had been in by my sudden inquiry.
Camilla turned to face me. "You said we'd love it, that it was beautiful."
"Yes. But did I say why?"
Camilla shook her head. As she did, a look of horror crossed her face. "Oh no. Your memories."
"They're gone," I answered, my voice tight. "I can't even remember what they are supposed to be anymore. It's just facts in my head now. If you two weren't here to remind me... I might not even remember I was once Human."
"I'm sorry." Camilla took me into a hug. "I'm so sorry."
I accepted the embrace while I looked out at the water. I know my face was a blank slate. Losing myself like that made me feel numb. I wanted to grieve... but I didn't know what to grieve. I just felt... numb. Entirely numb.
"What am I now?", I asked aloud. "I don't have a name. Not one that I've done anything to earn, just a silly joke that has gone out of hand. What's it going to do to me?"
"You've been doing good for the most part," Janias said. "And we're here for you. You don't have to do this alone."
"Oh Janias." I shook my head. "I've enjoyed having you and Cami traveling with me so much. But it won't last forever. You're going to want to settle down, have a nice and happy life together. You can't do that living in a magic box and getting chased by evil aliens and monsters every week."
"We're not leaving you," Cami insisted.
"Not right now, of course not." I sighed and accepted Janias into our group hug with my other arm. "Don't worry about it. I'm just being moody. Let's go watch the Orcas from close up in the TARDIS, shall we?"
"A good idea," Camilla agreed.
We returned to the TARDIS. I focused my attentions on the Orcas. It felt good to do so. It was a nice, quiet bit of nature watching with my companions.
But like everything else, this couldn't last forever.