A/N: SPOILER ALERT: This chapter is based on part of 2x18 and contains some dialogue taken from that episode so do not read this chapter if you haven't seen the latest episode and wish to remain unspoiled.
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"Hey buddy!" Neal greeted his son and wrapped him in a hug. "How are ya?"
"I'm good," Henry replied, and pulled out the fairy tale book, "I brought this. I thought you could tell me what it was really like over there."
"Sounds great," Neal said. He heard the front door closing as he spoke.
He looked up to see a pint-sized Emma trailing in behind her son. She hung back, not wanting to interrupt their conversation.
"Tell you what. Why don't you run to the dinner, get us three hot cocoas and we'll dive in," Neal gestured at the book and smiled at Henry.
His son grinned at him and gave his plan the thumbs-up and ran out the door, leaving Neal and Emma alone in an awkward silence.
"I should probably go. You know, leave you two to bond alone. And Snow's waiting for me outside - she walked over with us because apparently I'm not allowed to be unsupervised-"
"No, wait," Neal stopped her. "There's something I need to tell you."
"Okay…" Emma trailed apprehensively. She could tell from the look on Neal's face that he was about to tell her something he really didn't want to tell her, which in her experience meant something that was going to make her mad. Or ruin her day. Or both.
"Well," Neal started, clearly unsure of how to break the news, "You remember Tamara?"
Oh, she remembered Tamara. Emma schooled her expression into a poker face of politeness.
"Yeah, sure. Your fiancé."
She nearly choked on the word.
"Right," Neal said unnecessarily, "Well, she's coming."
Emma was genuinely confused for a second before she realised what he was telling her.
"Coming here? As in, Storybrooke?"
"Yeah. She should be here at Granny's any minute now."
Emma's eyes bugged out.
"What were you thinking?!"
She started to launch into a rant about bringing strangers to a town with magic and consequences and exposure, but was interrupted by Neal's phone chirping as it received a message.
"She'll be here in five minutes," Neal announced, his tone apologetic. "I'm sorry… I just needed her, okay?"
Emma sighed. There was clearly nothing she could do to stop this. She just hoped her father and Neal would be able to handle anything that might happen as a result of this. Actually, she wished that she could. She kicked the floor with glitter-speckled sneaker despondently. Stupid magic.
"Why don't you stay and get to know her?"
Emma couldn't stop her eyebrows from popping up in disbelief at his request.
"I really should be going," was her response. Then out came the puppy dog eyes.
"She's bringing bagels," Neal bribed.
"Have you forgotten that I'm four?" Emma asked him pointedly, "You don't think she's going to notice that I have magically lost a quarter of a century? I don't care what those beauty cream adds say – nobody ages backwards!"
"So I won't say you're you," Neal argued. "It'll be a good opportunity for you to get to know her, and you can be sure that she's not putting anything on for your sake."
Emma gave in, and five minutes later found herself trapped in a room with her son, her ex and his new girlfriend. Joy. Not only was this incredibly awkward, she had to pretend like it wasn't for Henry's sake. She also had to pretend to be a four-year-old. Great. Perfect.
"Hello Henry, it's so nice to see you again," Tamara greeted her son.
"Hi," Henry responded.
"And who's this little cutie?" Tamara asked, squatting down to be at Emma's level.
Emma fought the urge to roll her eyes at the woman's condescending manner. She really disliked this woman. And it wasn't because she was dating Neal (though she had thought he had better taste in women than this). There was just something about her that didn't feel quite right. She was one of those people who always sounded insincere to Emma, no matter what they were saying.
"Ahhh…" Neal groped for an explanation, "She's Henry's little… cousin… Lucy. They're really close."
Terrible liar, Emma thought and did her best to make her face communicate her judgement to him. When Tamara turned back to Emma, he gave her a shrug as if to say, 'what else was I supposed to say?'
"Well, hi Lucy, I'm Tamara. I'm Henry's daddy's girlfriend. It's very nice to meet you!"
Emma shot an incredulous look at Neal.
"Hi," she said unenthusiastically.
"Lucy's Mom is running an errand, so she's with us for an hour or so," Neal told Tamara.
"Oh, ok," Tamara said. "I'm sure we'll have lots of fun!"
She reached forward to tickle Emma.
"Don't touch me," Emma said and backed away from her.
Tamara pulled her hand back awkwardly. Neal covered his eyes with his hand and shook his head to himself. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.