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Previously:

I shut the front door quietly on my way out, slunk into the driver's seat of my car, and quickly drove home. As soon as I was behind the closed door, I sank to the floor and cried. I cried for myself, I cried for Edward – for I knew he would surely hate me when he woke up to find me gone – and I cried for the beautiful children in my fantasy that would never come to life. I cried for the love I had lost before I even knew what it was.

Chapter 9
BPOV

A couple of months later, I was still missing Edward like crazy. It was amazing how, after just one night, he had imprinted himself so strongly in my mind and in my heart. I would think about him constantly – that crooked smile; our comfortable conversations, balanced by the way he seemed to understand me without any words being spoken; the tenderness in his eyes as we joined together. Although I kept convincing myself that this was for the best, I couldn't stop wondering if it might have been the biggest mistake of my life to walk away from him that morning.

Although at the moment, I was thinking the biggest mistake had been eating that leftover Thai food a couple of days ago.

My stomach had been acting up, and I spent the last few mornings reaffirming my close relationship with the toilet. On the third day, after the worst had passed, I managed to clean myself up somewhat and make my way to the hospital, figuring it was either some serious food poisoning or the flu bug I'd heard was going around, and I should probably grab a prescription for some antibiotics.

At the very least, finding an excuse to blame the ever-increasing ache I was feeling on an illness was much better than any other option.

After the customary hour-long wait, I was finally ushered back to a private room. The nurse fluttered around, taking measurements and quizzing me on my recent health. I answered her questions on autopilot, already thinking forward to a nice long afternoon nap once this was all over. The only things I clearly registered were when she sent me off to do a urine test – it was important to be paying attention for that one – and when she drew a couple vials of blood – it was even more important not to be paying attention then. I was told to change back into my street clothes while she went to find out the test results.

I nervously waited for what seemed like much too long before the nurse suddenly poked her head in the doorway. "Just a few more minutes and Doctor Cullen will be right with you, ma'am." She disappeared before I could say a word.

Now I was even more nervous. Why did I have to see a doctor? Was there really something wrong with me? It must be serious if I had to see someone other than my usual general practitioner. I knew his name was in my file, so they would have sent me to him if it was just a regular prescription. Oh, god, was I dying?

I was practically hyperventilating at this point, which only served to distract me from paying too close attention when a man in a long white coat slipped into the room with his nose buried in the folder held up in front of his face.

"Well, Ms. Swan, it looks like you're … Bella."

I could barely hear the almost reverent whisper of my name over my own frantic breathing, but it was enough to make me look up. Straight into those bright green eyes I had not been able to stop dreaming about since the very first time I saw them.

There he stood, as beautiful as ever. I belatedly recalled him telling me he was a doctor, though I'd had no idea he was at this hospital, or even what his specialty was. I made a mental note that the standard lab coat looked exceptionally spectacular on his long, lean frame.

A few minutes passed in silence, during which I greedily (and probably more blatantly than is usually acceptable in public) took in his body from head to toe, replaying the mental images I had saved of the bare flesh underneath his clothes. When my gaze finally traveled back up to his face, I gasped lightly when I noticed the dark purple smudges under his eyes and the way his stare was locked on my face.

He was looking at me as if he had seen a ghost.

"Edward…" I couldn't hold back his name escaping from my lips.

He opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. He glanced down briefly at the chart in his hand, and his eyes narrowed slightly. When he looked up at me again, something had definitely changed. His expression wasn't exactly cold, but it wasn't welcoming, either. There was a tightness around his eyes and his entire body was rigid.

"As I was saying when I came in … Ms. Swan," he began again in a detached, professional tone, "it looks like you're about eight weeks pregnant. Congratulations..."

His voice faded out into the background.

…

What?

…

Did he just say… But that's impossible.

…

I had always hoped ... and we tried for so long … but the doctors were so sure…

…

Oh. My. God.

I was definitely in shock. I looked blankly at Edward, trying to discern if he was telling me the truth. It would be exceptionally cruel of him to say something like that if it were not the case, and even after just knowing him for one night I thought I could say with fair confidence that he would never do such a thing. And yet, there was still a small seed of doubt that wondered if this could possibly be some sort of revenge for me walking out on him, since he apparently hadn't taken it as well as I'd hoped.

I stared straight into those deep green pools, noting somewhere in the back of my mind that they were filled with a longing expression that I knew all too well, having seen it in the mirror practically every single day of my life. I did not have the slightest clue what he could be so sad about, though.

His stiff nod brought all the confirmation I had been searching for.

All of a sudden, it truly began to sink in, and I promptly burst into tears.

I was a blubbering, dripping mess within seconds. Through blurry eyes I saw Edward jump slightly, momentarily stunned by my reaction. I couldn't really focus on anything around me, though, what with all the whirling thoughts running through my mind – namely: How? and Really? and Wow wow wow wow wow!

And of course, the most important thing: How am I going to tell Edward that this is his baby?

That final thought was almost sobering enough to knock me back into full awareness. I had suddenly, amazingly, been given the gift that I had wanted my entire life. And yet, I didn't know if I would have anyone to share it with. There was not a single argument that could refute the fact that it was his, either, as he was the only person I'd been with since Jacob.

I could hear a stream of low murmuring, and it took a minute before I realized that it was coming from me.

"No… That's just not possible. How could it … he … no! I don't believe it. But … and then it's his. Fuck, I don't believe it. They said I couldn't … but now I did? Oh my god. Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod! What should I say? What should I do? I didn't think this would… Oh shit, what if he … he doesn't want it? How could he want it? How could he want me? Oh no, no, no…"

"Ms. Swan… Bella, calm down, please. It's ok, it's ok."

My rambling was cut off by Edward's soothing voice in my ear and his hand on my arm, stroking softly up and down. I'm sure he meant to calm me down, but feeling him so close just sent my heart skyrocketing again, and he retreated immediately when he felt me tense at his touch. I gazed up at him with glassy eyes. His answering expression was still sad, but seemed to have softened some, probably due to pity over my major freakout.

"Calm down, ok? We'll … you'll work everything out, I'm sure. Is there…" he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, tugging a little at the ends of his hair, hesitating. "Is there someone I can call for you?"

Of course! I needed to call Charlie, and Alice, and… Wait. I snuck a glance at Edward again and really took in his posture and expression. His shoulders were hunched over just slightly, and he was staring at me with hurt and angry eyes. He almost sounded … could it be … he was jealous?

It was then I finally figured it out. He thought I should call the baby's father! Although Edward knew we had been together around that time, he had no way of knowing if it was his. My reaction couldn't have been good from his point of view, either: crying and denying the facts. So even if he thought it could be his, he must have also believed that I didn't want it.

Didn't want him… This was the same thing I had just been telling myself. And it was completely untrue.

I really needed to clear things up. Because hopefully, hopefully that hurt expression also meant that he could possibly want to be a part of this. With me. Together.

I took a deep calming breath and sat up a little straighter, rubbing my eyes furiously to clear the last of the tears. "Edward... No, there's no one to call."

"What do you-" he started to interrupt, looking furious, but I held up a hand.

"Just hear me out, please." I looked at him cautiously as he nodded. "Edward, it's – I'm just going to throw this out there – if I really am pregnant, then the baby is yours."