Grape Soda and Magnets

by ChronicallyinFlaming

A collection of over a hundred Krillin/18 prompts, ranging from AU to proposals to holidays to babysitting. V/B, G/CC featured.

6. 127 thru 151

A/N: To Gohanroxme, I have to say, it's about a fifty-fifty split between the two. Krillin's my favorite character, but Juuhachigou's better at expressing sometimes the craziness of situations because when she goes off the rails, it's never in half-measures; she really goes crazy. While Krillin can bounce between rational and insanity. It really just depends on the prompt and which voice would be best at expressing what I was going for. I will say that I definitely laugh more when writing things from Juuhachigou's POV.

Also, everyone go read Gohanroxme's collection of one-shots too, because they're awesome.

As for this story, it inadvertantly developed a theme for Krillin and Goku being gay for each other. I apologize for that. It just sort of happened and snowballed and Juuhachigou refused to let it go. Next prompts, which will hopefully number twenty-five rather than twenty-four (but this chapter may be the longest, so it evens out) this time, will be more random with a side of angst and a Trunks POV.

As always, thanks for reading and feel free to throw up prompt ideas/encouragements/complaints/demands

'We were dying on the floor, and you won't stop talking about it anymore.'

Stupid and Shallow, Futurehead

---

127. Afraid of the Dark

For some bizarre reason, they met before dawn had technically risen.

He was a morning person, and she couldn't awake before ten in the afternoon.

So they found a halfway point, not at a reasonable hour in the evening, but in the middle of the night. As Juuhachigou planned on going to sleep soon, and he was just waking up. The night sky reached out above their heads, and the stars were pale. Moonlight barely allowed them to see each other's faces.

"So," he nodded to her, stretching, "how was your night?

128. Teased

Whatever the hell was wrong with Bulma, a myriad list, also made her unable to keep her mouth shut. Even now, she looked across the dingy hideous red-pink cafeteria table and laughed until she nearly choked on her French fry. "Hahaha." The laughter of a psychotic teenage girl having a rich time hurting one of her supposed friends.

On the other side of the table, Juuhachigou glared at her and waited for the giggles to dry up. And for the fist pounding to end. And for the slaps to the knee to finally stop.

"Okay." Bulma took a deep breathe, wiping tears away and reaching for Juuhachigou's untouched milk carton. "So you think you might be attracted to Krillin?"

"No! I didn't say that!"

"You didn't not say it."

"Bulma. Listen to me. All I said was that lately I've been thinking about that miserable shrimp more."

"Undressed?"

"No! Just there. Around. Shut up."

"Fine, fine. Whatever makes you feel better. I'm not here to judge. To slander you and inform everyone I know that you're a Krillin Lover. That you're into bald short men. And I am most definitely not texting all the people on my friend list to tell them of this latest development."

Juuhachigou was immediately leaning down to check under the table. Snarling, she tore the cell phone from Bulma's quick hands. Checking the latest messages sent only increased her rage. All those little hearts and smiley face, so many little hearts that went like 3. Krillin's name posted and reposted several times and the number 18 was in there as well. The sight of the CC list made her sigh.

"I'll get you back for this."

"You should be thanking me. Setting you up with your soul mate like that—"

"Oh, shut up. Dear god. Did you send this to Krillin?"

"He is on my friend list." The blue-haired girl looked at the blonde like she was dense.

The cell phone felt like a ticking time bomb. Bulma's obnoxious background picture of herself waving a V at the camera and wearing mardi gras beads made Juuhachigou feel nostalgic for a better time where she had snuck peach schnapps to her two best female friends during a party. Giggling and rolling their eyes over Chi-Chi's overactive imagination and ability to continue going on for hours about how the captain of the football team was. Until she and Bulma were passing the bottle back and forth and sighing as their friend continued waxing on poetically about 'boyishly mussed hair and passionate black eyes.'

Now Chi-Chi was sitting by that football player, screaming at him until the teachers came to break it up, for forgetting their anniversary. Leaving her and Bulma to talk and somehow Juuhachigou had been stupid enough to let her guard down and letting slip that she'd had her mind stuck on a certain short football player who tended to play defense and be bashed around by the much other larger players since him in offense was even more cringe-worthy. Who, despite the shiny head and lack of nose, looked kinda cute squashed into the field and covered in mud.

And now he knew that she felt that way. All those 'lol's' couldn't be ignored.

There was a sudden tension in the room. Looks were being passed her way. Stares, smirked, knowingness in their eyes.

That utter bastard Vegeta raised his juice bottle high, standing up on the table to be seen by all. "I'd like to propose a toast to the happy couple: Juuhachigou and the shrimp."

Bulma laughed and applauded harder than anyone.

"What?" Goku managed to swallow the pound of mashed potatoes in his mouth. "They finally got together?"

She sat there in a dizzying wave of horror. Trying to focus. Trying to come up with a snappy one-liner that she was so good at, one that would shut Vegeta down. Normally, she had so, so many. Look at him. That hair. The tennis whites. Come on. Come oooonnn. But it was all she could do to not fall off the cafeteria bench. To put her head down and try and block everyone out.

He grinned and gestured towards her with the juice bottle while Juuhachigou wondered if the cops would suspect it was her who had set the school on fire, and whether or not it was worth an arson charge to find out.

Even Goku knew.

She sat there until the laughter ceased, until Bulma stopped trying to cheer her up with 'at least everyone knows! I mean, it's all out there! I mean…you know what I mean,' until she was one of the last people in the large linoleum covered room and bound to be late for her next class. Stiffly, she rose from her seat and gathered her belongings. A cafeteria worker gave her a dirty look for not bussing her tray, but that was the least of Juuhachigou's worries.

Her bag was held in a whitened grip, nearly clutched to her chest. Could she call someone at her house, there was always someone there hanging around, and get them to pick her up? The school was surrounded by empty fields tilled by the grimly efficient Garden Club (that you-know-who was part of) and it could make hiding from the school security guards difficult. But having a 'family' member stop by, plead that her grandmother had died or something, and take her home. The coward's way out.

And, depending on who picked up, might mean blackmail that forced her to clean the roof gutters or help shoplift something expensive or…anything really. The last time Juurokugou had saved her he made her work at the green house for an entire month. Juugogou had made her overturn a pretzel cart, reasons still not entirely understood. Juuyongou had simply stared down at her, saying softly that he would want her to do a favor, in the future, never explained and horrifying in its possibilities. And Gero had made her clean out the basement. Juusangou was the best, when he wasn't on the road, since he would mostly just bust your chops a little and then laugh as you told him whatever you'd done.

If only she had shut Vegeta down in the cafeteria. Or grabbed Bulma's phone a little quicker. Or kept her mouth shut in the first place.

Even the history teacher seemed to stare at her and know what had happened. For once, he didn't sigh and rant about the youth of today. People did their best to avoid eye contact and act like nothing was wrong.

She understood what being damned was like. A scarlet letter in the shape of an emoticon laughing was placed on her shirt.

Her next class, in the computer lab, was going to be even worse. She walked with a book held to her chest and trying not to stare at anyone. Any laughter in the hallways made her flinch, sure it was about her. Or maybe Chi-Chi and Goku had been found in another closet and everyone could move past her disaster. Bulma set something new on fire in chemistry lab, hopefully Vegeta's hair, again. Any second the uptight tennis player would rush from a classroom, head ablaze and screams echoing off the lockers.

The classroom door's handle was cold in her grip. Only a few people were seated around the computer's glowing screens, and she took what comfort she could in that. Slowly, knowing that there was no true escape until someone rose from the ranks of the student body in a phoenix blaze of embarrassment and harassment that allowed her to be reborn in the purifying flames.

That, or she would have to set the school on fire. Her brother kept oil-soaked rags and kerosene topped by matches in the basement, because he was stupid in the self-destructive way. Gero knew plenty of lawyers if it came down to it. Schoolyard bullying gone too far, it would be listed under and there would be even more Respect Classes the administration shoved down student's throats. She could become a martyr for a cause, a hero. Admired. A noble lie to cling to. Who would pick at the girl who fought for tolerance?

Krillin looking up with his dark eyes shining with real appreciation for her.'Wow, Juuhachigou, I had no idea you were so sensitive…and I don't even remember any more why everyone picked on you.'

He sat down besides her, as usual, throwing his gym back and backpack on the floor like he always did. Taking a deep inhale since he'd have to run here from the padlocked gardens and smelling of soap from trying to clean the grime from beneath his nails. Immediately, he was turning on his own computer, an action she had yet to do since there was comfort staring at the black reflection of the screen. "Hey, Juuhachigou."

"Hi."

She watched him typing, his tongue running over his teeth as he thought something out, totally uninterested in her. It was possible that he had no idea of what had occurred in the cafeteria. Maybe the reception out in the garden was terrible?

Finally, it became possible to turn on her computer. A stiffness she hadn't realized was there left her shoulders, and she was grateful that Krillin was Krillin and not into gossip or into playing with his phone at all hours and was way too shy to do anything when/if he finally learned. He had such low confidence (which she could use during one of her lectures when she went on tour to give bland statements about how bullying was bad) that he would assume everyone was making fun of him.

A real shame. Looking back, trying to loosely plan her general opening remarks on the bullying mentality, she probably was partially responsible for all his suffering and low self-esteem. The shoving into the pool as kids where he'd nearly drowned only to overhear her laughing as the life guard pulled him out, how she'd bet her brother that he couldn't grab the guy's clothes while he showered and run away to leave him to suffer, the time during gym she'd reached out purely out of sadism to grab, pull back, and release the band of his jockstrap that had sent him flying into the path of a incoming dodgeball, that time she had thrown a rock at his shiny head only to knock out a tooth.

The concept that all these events tended to involve Krillin in little or his undergarment was one she to sit back and reflect on. Any therapist could have seen what her subconscious was trying to do.

"So." He looked at her, guileless. "How long have you been driven mad by lust for me Juuhachigou?"

"…goddamnit, Bulma."

"It's okay." He was raising one eyebrow in that infuriatingly smug way. "We both knew this was coming."

"Oh god. Stop. Just…don't discuss this with me. Ever.

"Do you hear me? Ever. I don't want to hear anything from you. Ever again.

"In regards to anything.

"Ever."

He made a zipping gesture across his mouth, eyes nearly twinkling in that way that made her give in to the urge to drop her head onto her keyboard.

"It's okay. It's cool." Krillin patted the air around her. "We can do whatever you want. Friends…or we could try going out? Dinner next Saturday? A movie, maybe?"

She nearly bit down on the space key. The briefest fantasy of bringing Krillin to her home and having her screwed up excuse of a family scare him off passed through her head in an array of tacky clothes and screaming. But no, they would sense her hopefulness and take him in as one of their own. So glad she finally met a nice boy, would he like another cup of coffee, perhaps a pastry?

Regardless of her previous realization that there were hidden rivers inside floating with insidious drums of body parts and obsession with Krillin's underthings, she definitely wanted to keep a safe distance from him. It was truly better for both of them. Aside from not knowing a thing about a healthy relationship, she would probably push him in front of traffic or stab him with a knife.

They both needed to forget about Bulma's message. The entire world needed to forget about what happened. Juuhachigou rested a cheek on the number keys and stared at her reflection in the computer screen.

"Krillin. Would you be willing to do something for me?"

"Yeah, sure. Of course. What?"

"I don't suppose you have any blackmail on your friends? Hopefully with an emphasis on Bulma and Vegeta?"

"Oh. No. Sorry." His voice was dropping to a softer drone, leaning close to her. She could tell without looking that he would be staring at her all unfocused and soft. Even after all the cruelty she'd buried him under through the years…still at her side, trying to help her.

She reached out and grabbed a handful of his orange football jersey. "Would you be willing to do something for me? Something that may get you suspended and humiliated for the rest of your high school life?"

Krillin's tongue probed his teeth some more. "…I don't know."

"That's fair." She left go of his shirt.

"But, but hey, just tell me what you want? And I can try to help."

"Well. It's," Insanity that would probably ruin her budding career as a lecturer. "Just an idea I had."

"For what?"

"To make people forget all about that stupid message Bulma sent."

"Aw, why would you want to do that?" Krillin was smiling at her, way too close. Looking like something for Halloween in those clothes.

"Of course you don't care. But I do. I don't want to walk around with that hanging over my head."

"So what's the plan?"

She told him it, watching his face go from interested to disbelieving to angry and offended. Upset that the woman responsible for his expensive dental work would ask so much from him. "No. No way."

"Yeah. I didn't think so." Juuhachigou slumped in her seat. "I'll just go around known as the girl with some gross thing for you. And it'll get worse from there."

The wavery blonde girl in front of her eye's had widened. "People will think all these horrible things. That I've been screwing you this entire time. That I've been fighting the urge."

"…well, haven't you?..."

"Someone will start a rumor I'm pregnant just before graduation. I'll never see any of these idiots again to deny it either.

"My brother will probably be the one to spread it. God."

"Okay, Juuhachigou." The small teenager looked almost heroically grim and sad. She remembered when he was an abnormally short awkward kid that came up to the ribcages and shoulders of the other kids. Then him sprouting up one summer so he didn't have to strain to look you in the eyes so much, and eased up on so many sarcastic bitter remarks. Though now he fretted about having a deep meaningful relationship, a real connection, with a girlfriend, and flushed whenever any girl smiled at him. "I'll do it."

"Oh, never mind," she glanced at the clock. "Class is nearly over with anyway. I'm sure people will probably start to forget about Bulma's horrible message."

"No, no!" He actually slammed a fist down on the desk which made the other student jump and look around. "It's not fair what happened. You don't feel that way. You shouldn't be shamed by everyone!"

"Yeah, but then I need a scapegoat and all that. I'll just wait for someone to do something stupid and embarrassing." Juuhachigou shrugged, running a finger against her thumb's nail.

"Not for long." Krillin squared his chin and shoulders, and ran out of the building with his bags clomping besides him. All he needed was a cape.

She shook her head, gathered her own belongings, and continued to her next class. But she felt less awful about the situation, more inclined towards seeing it how Bulma had wanted her to. He knew, everyone knew, and now she didn't have to hide and fret like a completely paranoid whether or not someone had seen her staring at him in shorts. There were benefits. And later, if she felt less like heaving at the mere thought, she and Krillin could well, give that movie idea a go. It couldn't be so bad. A few hours spent in a dark place staring at a screen with Krillin, who would definitely never go so far without touching her hand without permission.

The overhead speakers began to crackle and pop and a distant thud was heard. Like everyone else in the herd, Juuhachigou looked upward.

"Hi, I uh, it's Krillin. The one on the football team. Not that there's a lot of those—"

There was another heavy dreamy thud.

"But, anyway. Since everyone here is so interest in hearing about people's personal live, I'm here to tell everyone a few secrets. About myself. I'm offering myself as human bait for everyone to pick on and move away from…others.

"It's fine. I'm willing to act as a martyr for a better cause."

Oh god oh god ohgodohogodohshit

"So, um. I've had crushes on just about all my female friends and acquaintances. I enjoy writing and reading poetry. My foster father has an unhealthy obsession with porn I have managed to overcome.

"Oh. Didn't mean to make that pun. Most Halloweens I eat enough chocolate to puke, yet can't stop doing that every year. Once I got drunk and called all my friends to spill my guts out to them. So this is familiar ground to them."

At her locker, Bulma looked down at her shoes, lost in some memory. Vegeta had a certain grim acknowledgement in his face. Others were recalling their own pasts. There was less and less giggling.

"I've gone an entire month homeless and didn't talk to anyone for two whole weeks. I tried to grow a beard, that failed. What else…"

Don't mention her. Just don't. Please.

"I've had weird thoughts about other guys once or twice. Nothing acted out on, but just floating around there. In the back of my mind. Er. Don't think that's all that weird. Maybe. Maybe? Who hasn't had gay thoughts?

"Dunno. When I was fifteen, I measured my penis every day for six months. And I have a bad rash and some really bad zits on my back. And a scar on my butt from when I was a kid and Goku bit me. He was sleeping and that's what he does."

Nearby, Chi-Chi's dark head was nodding unconsciously towards the speakers.

At least he wasn't talking about her. The thudding was getting heavier, and you could hear yells from somewhere nearby. People coming in to stop him. To drag him away and turn him over to the school shrink and held up as a witness for what school bullying did to a person. People would talk about him in hushed tones, and when he left the school, he'd become an urban myth. The Kid That Went Crazy and Ranted To The Everyone About His Messed Up Life.

You could hear the door splintering, the snarls of the principal, the grunts of the security guard. "Oh, and to make it fairer, Bulma and Vegeta have been going out secretly for three months now. That's all everyone!"

129. Silent treatment—"I want you to notice when I'm not around."

Maybe he had been spending too much with the Sons, with Chi-Chi, because Krillin now had a whole new way of punishing her. And it wasn't like the pouting, or the angry remarks, or that time he'd run to Bulma and made the scientist yell at Juuhachigou for him. No, this time he had discovered something effective.

He just looked at her.

Blankly, dully, like she was a new stain on the carpet.

Krillin didn't even say anything to her when he was upset. Just stared at her a little, his mouth shut and not even pursed.

At first, she had just laughed his silly attempt at getting under the skin off. Oh, so he wanted to pretend she didn't exist? Who was he kidding? Who was he trying to kid? It was her, the woman who ignored her brother twenty three hours and fifty seven minutes out of the day, who had avoided Krillin for six months while the short fighter had been sharing a house with her. Who could dodge a perverted hermit's attempts at making a disgusting remark and was quick enough to leap away from the shapeshifting pig's tries at double-entandre.

This was so pitiful, even for Krillin. She had laughed and gone back to her book/magazine/movie.

At first.

The second week passed by strained, spent by clutching her tensed aching stomach. By the third she was literally chasing him down, kicking him and grabbing him the hair. Like some deranged abusive spouse, she had to admit. Master Roshi and Oolong stared at her, like their worst fears had been confirmed, judging. Judging her with their knowing eyes.

But it was his fault! For…not speaking! Just because she'd mocked his t-shirt! And he would continue on with his life, acting like everything was normal, when she would leave the room or even the house. 'Hey, Master. Boy, has it been hot lately.' He was a sick, sick man.

"Talk to me! Say something!

"Anything, damn you!"

Yet he still held his tongue, even as his hands went to cup a newly bruised part of his anatomy.

130. Initiation/ Hazing

Apparently, despite how angry both could get, Juuhachigou was nothing like Chi-Chi. And Goten knew it.

He hadn't stopped weeping since Juuhachigou had picked him up to comfort him, which wore away at the blonde. How could she be so inhuman as to make a baby sob every time she spoke to it? How could a baby, hardly more than a few months old, know to squirm and weep at her slightest touch?

Eventually, her terror that she would not murder Goku but his infant son instead, turned to hatred for the rest of the group. They'd left her to this. The only one who'd shown any pity was Vegeta, for Kami's sake, and that was probably from him remembering taking care of his own child. He had only given her a shocking saddened look that lasted no longer than two seconds. But it was still more than the other's had.

The bastards. All she'd wanted was to get along with them. Not as friends, but not as enemies either.

Goten wouldn't eat, then he would be ravenous, except really he needed his diaper changed. And he hated all his toys, but needed to have them near. To throw at her with startling accuracy and strength.

"It's not like I was the one to kill Goku," she told the baby. "Even though I was programmed to do so. But I didn't do it. Even though I wanted to."

Goten was unmoved.

Juuhachigou washed another spoonful of puréed carrots from her hair, and thought of calling Krillin. He would know what to do. If there was someone who should have a dozen kids to comfort, it was him. Littler humans seemed to love him; crawling on him and begging him to play, or just giggling as he made ridiculous faces at them. Her hand stroked the phone as Goten began to cry again.

She'd been lied to.

No way was babysitting an 'initiation' into their sad, misfit group of heroes. Then she remembered Bulma's sly look. "Or," A shrug. "I guess you could marry into the group." A wink.

Juuhachigou put down the phone, and picked up Goten's bottle again.

Her back was turned to him, and her voice was steel and velvet. "Perhaps we got off on a bad start. Maybe you should understand that I am not your mother, who will do whatever you want."

Juuhachigou turned around, wielding the bottle not unlike a machete. After he seemed to get a good look at her with tiny black eyes that probably couldn't take much in, Goten went quiet. He dragged himself away from her, pulling soft stuffed animals closer to him for comfort.

They watched each other closely.

Later, when his mother came home, the first thing Chi-Chi did was to gather the infant to her chest, marveling, "He's so quiet! Usually he's the fussiest thing.

"You're so good with him!

"Do you want to watch him again?"

131. Please, stop

Her brother fell to his knees, dry sobbing, hands outstretches as he begged for mercy. "Please, please, you have to knock it off."

His sister barely spared a pause in nuzzling Krillin besides her on the couch. "You can just leave, you know."

132. Sunglasses

She had to laugh at the sight of Krillin solemnly sitting next to her, the old man's glasses seated comfortably on his face. Somehow. Despite the lack of nose. He looked as sober as someone at a funeral, despite the jolly blue-red of his swimming trunks. His mouth a straight narrow line. Where his eyes were, only he and Dende knew.

Since she was seated in her own bathing suit, this was cause for alarm. All she saw was the smooth inkiness of glass. Anywhere. Looking anywhere.

"Gimme those."

133. Compliment

"Well," she shrugged one shoulder. "I guess you look better."

Considering he hadn't grown his hair out since he was a very small child, hadn't even been so sure he could fully grow a head of hair, this was a bit of a letdown. He had wanted thunder and lightning to rain from the sky, Dende to part clouds and wave that staff he'd gotten from Kami down impressively, the ground to open up and the sea to part. He, Krillin, was standing in front of Juuhachigou, talking to her, and they both had hair. There was eye contact. This was inspiring; no matter what the elements around them said.

A leaf blew by with all the enthusiasm Vegeta showed towards Bulma's tax forms. Krillin was willing to accept that as a sign that the world was impressed with him and his new hairstyle.

134. Devious

It wasn't something that she'd ever brag about, but she was willing to own up to how she'd finally stolen Krillin away from that boring, stable, gracious girlfriend. As much as a person could be stolen. Lured. Lured away from his previous girlfriend until he could barely call the other girl (a psych major too) back. He would spent his Saturday nights with her, staring at her, laughing, joking, unable to tear himself away. How she would quietly give the impression that she cared little for the girl, in tiny nudges and unenthusiastic smiles when the girl was mentioned.

And she was also healthy enough to admit that she too had a problem separating herself from his presence and when one of her foster 'brothers' would ask her about the guys in her life, she would go blank-faced and refused to say a word.

Like they had created their own little world where no one else was able to trespass upon. Even if that world consisted of watching movies and wondering what the other person was thinking about, and their hand was right there, just waiting to be grabbed and held until they were both sweating and weak-knees and stomachs twitching and stupidly happy.

So, what if she'd maybe said in an offhand manner that maybe he and that girlfriend of his didn't seem to be spending much time together, what was up with that, and were they even still going out, because personally, she wasn't too sure about that girl. That she'd been the one to hand him the phone to make the final phone call to her and pull the trigger with nary a backwards glance except at he, waiting as patient as any skilled predator would. And after the words had left his mouth, her grabbing the phone's receiver to slam down and immediately jump him because now it was okay, right, he was as single as her.

That, none of that was exactly illegal, now, was it?

135. Dust

He leaned too hard against the door. That was the problem.

In his clenched hands, Krillin held the rag as though it might save him from Juuhachigou's wrath. She had, to be fair, never told him to come into her room. It was an unspoken rule. The blonde, moody woman did not need to tell anyone to never come into her room.

You would no more enter her room than start breathing underwater. Only someone stupid and unable to understand her on any level would do such a thing.

And here he was, staring at her sleeping form on the bed, the artless tumble of white-gold hair and the outstretched limbs and the peaceful, innocent face. In pajamas she would never have allowed him to view her in. All vulnerable and human, and in hot clinging pink that was absurd and adorable, how could she have picked out those clothes, and now he was giggling, and she was totally, totally going to kill him for this.

At least the doorknob was now clean.

136. Butterflies

They looked at each other over Juurokugou's huge shoulders. It was a surprised, wary sort of stare. What are you doing here? Between the benches, tension filled the air. On her bench, the wood was half raised off the ground from the other android's weight. On his bench, the seats were nearly cracking from the weight of Goten's baby bag.

So.

So.

Goten and Gohan stumbled by. The little toddler running towards the huge green-and-black figure like he was a jungle gym, practically jumping over the ducks that fought for bread at the foot of the other bench. Juurokugou held the boy, staring at him, having his hair tugged at while the child's older brother hardly seemed to notice his flying leap at the android.

"Oooh, look at the butterflies."

137. "Me, You, and Steve."

She smiled at him, and was not the least bit embarrassed by doing so. Who would judge her for smiling at the man sitting across the table from her, a candle separating them? Who in turn smiled back and clearly enjoyed her company and admired her. Probably enjoyed her clinging black silk dress she'd spent an alarming amount of time and money picking out. For him. In hopes that, well, he would look at her like was doing now. Obviously enamored.

So much in fact that he had to invite his pig of a best friend who sat at his right side, stuffing his face until even his ridiculous hair had crumbs in it. Even here, at such a nice, romantic dinner, he had to bring his moronic friend with him.

Goku was waving over the waiter for more breadsticks. She stared at him taking in the trail of destruction on his plate, Krillin's total ease, the chill on her back from this stupid dress. This was what her night was to consist of. The night like so many others. And her brother used to tease her about coming home from 'dates' with Krillin, asking if she'd punched his V card and other horrible remarks until he sensed that she in fact wasn't pinning Krillin down in the back of his crappy old red car. Now he looked at her reaching for her coat as she headed out with something close to pity.

It wasn't so bad at the sporting events, even when Goku's enthusiasm to catch a stray ball would knock over the popcorn and soda. Because at least Krillin had someone to yap to about the boring game before them rather just having her nod her head and look at her watch. Even later she'd enjoyed the buffer in case Krillin tried to do anything. Then she wanted him to do something, anything. Just lean over and grab her hand. Please. Please? But goddamnit, enough was enough. Here, why here did he bring Goku? Krillin, look around, do you see a lot of people just hanging out in some fancy restaurant like this? No. There weren't even more than two people at the tables because it was supposed to be…quixotic? They were clearly going for a certain mood, what with all the red and candlelight.

She'd thought the signals had been clear, the blushing and stammer, the nervous gentle way he looked at her and followed her around like a puppy. If it wasn't romantic, then it was just insane.

…which would explain quite a few things. Krillin had always been a strange guy, laughing uneasily, always quick to put himself down, to quick to take on extra work at the office Bulma would send down. Walking up to her even when she was in a bad moon and brandishing paperwork, while the others with more sense ran and hid beneath the furniture in their offices or in bathroom stalls or in supply closets. Even Vegeta, a real cannibal before a judge and jury, would shove his spiky head down as he held the bathroom stall shut and tried not to fall off the toilet he huddled upon. She'd actually met Krillin after running and shutting a closet door behind her, and realizing only after she'd turned around and sighed in relief, that she wasn't alone.

138. "Never again would they dare to call me insane."

The short man did his best not to preen, or look to smug. But his friends' shocked faces at seeing him with his fingers casually interlocked with Juuhachigou's, their open, perfect O mouths and large eyes. Their gasp when they kissed, and Juuhachigou's annoyed, mystified glare at them that made them flinch.

Later, they would corner him, one-by-one before teaming up to demand an explanation. Bulma would whisper and asked for her dragon radar back, how could he have stolen it without her knowing? Yamcha would grab him by the shoulders and ask what Krillin had blackmailed Juuhachigou with. Vegeta would subtly raise a bowl of noodles in his direction, the only sign of marginal respect he'd ever given to the shorter man.

Chi-Chi would whisper that she didn't know what game Krillin was playing with that poor girl, but he should be ashamed of himself. Later, she would throw a pot at Juuhachigou's head when she realized who the mysterious blonde woman was.

Piccolo didn't seem to care much, besides a grumbled, well I guess that's one way to beat them.

But now, he would just savor their shock. Appreciate the way Juuhachigou smiled at him, and responded to his kisses. Enjoy the others' gaping and taking turns pinching each other to realize that this wasn't a dream.

Krillin was a kind soul to his friends. He wouldn't rub his victory in their faces; he didn't need to.

139. Rakshasa

Krillin had always believed in Goku. The greatest savior that Earth had ever known always had done his best to forgive. No matter whether or not he was dead, or injured, Goku was always trusted and the once monk had done his best to follow the bigger man's example.

But, as he looked into her eyes, her beautiful nothing eyes, the stained cuffs of her long shirt, what lay behind her, Krillin now understood that he was not Goku, and this woman was not someone he could save.

Her laugh was throaty, and how could she now be human, how could she have done this, how could she laugh?

"What," her head was cocked to the side, and hair fell into her eyes. The clownish, playful smile twisted his lips. "Did you think I would join you? That you're little speech would change how I felt about you?

"Am I supposed to feel sorry for these pitiful beings that can't even fight to save themselves?

"You're disgusting, human."

Now, now he understood.

140. On thin ice

The phrase, 'in the doghouse' had never meant much to her before now. It had been a phrase they'd use to describe Vegeta and Bulma's relationship, when one of them would crash at either Kame House or at Chi-Chi's. But now she could sympathize with their plight of having a pissed off lover yelling at you and refusing to let you sleep in your previously agreed upon half of the bed.

All she'd done was make one Goku joke!

...One Goku joke too many, actually.

But she refused to apologize. Goku was a bad husband/father who might or might not suffer from some form of mental disorder and enjoyed playing Russian Roulette with everyone's lives. Why should she feel bad for saying that, the truth? Was Krillin not a defender of the wronged, the hero of the just, the savior of the innocent?

And he was supposed to be her boyfriend/significant other/friend! He was supposed to agree with the things she said and take her side in disagreements. They weren't Vegeta and Bulma, who would disintegrate into arguments over whether or not the specks of skins in the mashed potatoes was good or not until one of them would storm from the room. Previously, whenever they'd get into an argument, they'd calm down after ten minutes and he'd go back to hold her hand and she would act all reluctant but finally agree.

Still, apparently he had a line that she couldn't cross. All she'd done is describe Goku as a 'worse father than even Vegeta' and an possible illiterate who had the 'lights on upstairs but no one home.' But Krillin had hit the ceiling.

"He died to save everyone!"

"Because he was too dim to teleport right back and leave Cell by himself. He didn't have to die. And it didn't even work."

"You have no right to criticize him! I bet he'd get along with you."

"Well. I guess we'll never know."

Which really set him off. "Are you mocking his death!"

Right now, this should have been the moment where she just stopped. Shook her head and said, no, I know how much you cared about the guy, and that well, she just had a hard time with Goku since, after all, she had been programmed to kill him. That would have been the wise thing. So of course she just kept overestimating Krillin's patience and continued on.

Even something like, 'well, all I'm saying is he didn't have to die' would have been better.

"Why, yes, yes I am." Then she'd laughed. "Was he really that desperate to escape Chi-Chi? Just that determined to avoid having to get a job?"

"Goku loves his family."

"Loved. Supposedly. And you'd never know it, the way he treats them. He has a second kid he'll never even see. What the hell was he thinking having another kid like that?

"Speaking of which, what the hell was wrong with him shoving Gohan out there to fight Cell. And giving that monster a Senzu bean?"

"Goku was a honorable man who always tried doing the best! I can't believe—don't insult him. You didn't even know him."

"I know that Piccolo's going to be those kids' father figure."

"He would have saved you!"

"Well, considering he knew about Gero creating the androids ahead of time, and did nothing to stop him, I don't think he would have."

"What are you talking about?"

"If he'd stopped Gero, maybe my brother and I wouldn't have been turned into cyborgs."

"Goku didn't know about that! Not the exact details."

"Why are you taking his side?"

"Why are you attacking him?"

"I'm your girlfriend, not him. Not anymore!"

Right around here, the pig and the old man put down whatever they'd been holding and began creeping from the room. Like they could sense this was the end of the line, and to just leave before something horrible happened. It should have been a clue for her to stop.

"What does that mean?"

"You know what it means! I'm not going to compete for your affections with a dead man!"

"Goku and I were just—what are you insinuating?"

"He's dead. And you're protecting him still."

"I'm a loyal friend."

"He doesn't need you protecting his honor. Damnit, Krillin, I'm the person who you're sleeping with. You take my side, not his."

His face had been turning red, with anger or embarrassment. "Don't tell me who I'm supposed to side with."

"Who do you care about more, him or me?"

"So, what, I'm not supposed to have any friends?"

"You can be friends with whomever you want, Chi-Chi, Bulma, Vegeta, Piccolo, Gohan...but not him. I chose you over Juunanagou." Although her brother hadn't exactly given her some ultimatum. He'd mostly just been disappointed in her, which she hadn't wanted to deal with and that's what drove her to Krillin's house. "You think he was happy about me being with you?"

"This isn't a choice! I can honor Goku's memory, and still...well, it's not like you killed the guy. I'm sure you wouldn't have actually murdered the guy...Juuhachigou?"

"...I don't know. Maybe if I wanted you to myself..."

"What does that mean?"

"You two were always...close."

The dark eyes she was growing so fond of were huge. "Stop joking about stuff like that."

"I'm just saying, well, he turned Super Saiyan after you'd died. I saw that movie about the astronauts and their secret lives from their wives."

"...what?"

"I breathe easier knowing he's dead. For a variety of reasons."

"You're not being funny."

"I'm not joking."

"This is not a conversation we're having."

"Oh, yes, it is. I'm not going to compete with your attention with a dead man. A blonde dead man."

"I...what? You're being so weird. Since when don't I pay attention to you? You're the damn reason he died."

"Oh. Am I?"

"If I hadn't spared you, he would still be alive."

"So, what, am I his replacement?"

"Goku and I were not like, like, you and me. And stop joking about that. It isn't funny."

"Krillin. You have a picture of the two of you, with your arms around each other's shoulders, smiling. By your bed."

"Oh, come on!"

"That's what you go to bed seeing. That's what you wake up to."

"I'm not talking to you until you become sane!"

Which is pretty much exactly what he'd done, only yelling at her when she'd come to bed that night, saying that he didn't want her there. And she'd yelled right back, oh right, have to keep the space clear for Goku!

"Get out!" "You get out!" "I was here first!""Fine! You took up all the covers and sheets anyway!" "Fine! You snored and kept me awake anyway!"

She'd nearly strangled him, but decided to just knock over the picture of him and Goku (one of the pictures) before stomping downstairs. The living room had never been so uncomfortable and desolate. Cold. All the shadows would shift with every blink and made her imagine the perverts waiting until she'd passed out to try groping her. At least upstairs Krillin was there to rip off any arms she might not notice when trying to sleep.

It was pathetic to admit, but she even missed stupid stuff like waking up to his stupid slack face, spooning against his warm back, the way he swatted at the air when he had night terrors. Without being able to fall asleep with her head against his bumpy scalp, hearing his muffled cries during a nightmare, it was hard to fall asleep. To say nothing of the more serious issues, like wanting to jump him when he was near, regardless of the others being around, or having to force her way through small talk with Oolong and Master Roshi out of boredom or calling her smug bastard of a twin who wanted to hear about 'trouble in paradise.'

What she wanted really, was for Bulma to make her a time machine so she could just hop back and take everything back. Slap her stupid past self to get her to shut up and not make comments about Krillin and Goku's friendship, to just let that lie still.

The insomnia was driving her insane, for the first time ever. And she simply missed sleeping in a room, with walls for privacy rather than having to duck into the bathroom to change. And it would be nice to get her clothes from the drawer slowly, like a normal person, rather than ducking into the room when he wasn't in and grabbing things like she was on a game show and the audience was howling for her to grab more socks. It was becoming increasingly harder to remember why she'd been so angry.

Why couldn't she just say 'I'm sorry' and hold his hand? Beg for forgiveness, 'I should never have talked about your friend that way' and give him a big hug? 'Oh god, I'm so sorry, I take it back, I don't care what you and Goku were and what you did and you can put up a giant oil painting of the man in our bedroom, and please dear Kami just speak to me in complete sentences and please let's make up now. Right in front of that picture of you and Goku, I don't care.'

But to even bring up the other man's name would probably not help matters. He was still cold to her, avoiding being in the same room as her and making sure not to be left alone with her at all. "Hey, where are you guys going? The store? I'll come with you?" How long until she overheard, "The strip club? I'll go get my jacket?" or "Singles' night at the bar? I'll be right there!"?

While Juuhachigou slowly broke into pieces and was possibly having a breakdown. The thought of going to some strip club or meeting someone else was impossible to not toy with. It was the ulcer she had to prod and stab at. Already, she could see herself going after the smallish guys with short hair and dark eyes, trying not to call them Krillin, having to lie about her own name rather than risk explaining her life life and what she was...

Which was a mess.

This was what Juunanagou had warned her of. Sneering, telling her that she would outlive Krillin, and the guy was an ugly bald shrimp, and that she should at least go for someone who could look her in the eye. Which was very ironic in light of him refusing to look her straight in the eye with any emotion, anymore. It had taken so long to get him to stare at her without turning red and choking…

She snapped when they were all sitting around the couch, watching TV. For once, he was sitting near to hear, but was completely ignoring her. Seeing him holding the remote brought out all these memories, and had her leaning towards him. A weak mess. One that found it impossible to grab his hand while the other one went to grab his chin and hold him still for a long smothering kiss that went on long enough to make him turn blue and for the others to start cheering. He just stared at her, confused.

Oolong was heaving in relief. "Oh thank god."

"So does this mean you two have forgiven each other?

141. Hands

The two separate, pretty delicate hands waving in the air made Krillin say, aloud, his first thought, "What the hell?" He sat there and stared at the two competing people, confusion, frightened. Feeling now like more and less than meat as he had before those two had begun upping the price. A piece of sweaty meat in a plain black suit inspected under harsh lights by at least fifty wealthy, usually older well-heeled people sitting around. And a pair of android twins with strange, similar tastes.

It was for charity, however, so there was nothing to be done for it. Bulma had practically shoved him into it, you're single, you're desperate for a girlfriend, and it's for a good cause!

A bachelorette's auction hadn't been the place he'd expected to see Juuhachigou again. And when he'd imagined this moment, aside from not having a woman reel off numbers nearby, the blonde android hadn't looked like she had lockjaw. You could nearly hear her grinding her teeth all the way to the stage. Nor was her brother supposed to be there, grinning like some sick deviant, and reminding the meet of how cocked hands motioning for him to come closer.

Every time she bumped the price up, her brother was right there behind her, adding in, "and a dollar."

She stared at Krillin, finally looking him fully, taking in the sheen of sweat on his forehead that fell to darken his collar. Really considering him, with those pale unnatural beautiful eyes. Just like her twin's. Then she put her hand down.

142. Would you Rather…?

"Kiss a frog, or go on a date with Krillin?"

"Frog."

"Spend a day tied to Vegeta, or make out with Krillin for five minutes? Not that he could survive that long, what with missing the nose."

She gave a sharp inhale, and rubbed her chin. "…Vegeta."

"Eat at Chi-Chi's, or have a romantic dinner with Krillin."

"Ooh. Hard one. But going with dinner with the angry pregnant widow."

"Get eaten by Cell again, or—no, I'm not going to say that. I just grossed myself out right there."

"Wow. You are revolting. I'd rather talk to Krillin than hear your voice again."

"You two are the worst, just the worst people to go camping with? Why can't we exchange scary stories?"

"Those were scary."

"Okay, okay. So these two people, brother and sister are driving around through the woods. And then they hear this horrible noise, like a chicken being strangled. Hehahahchaha. Like that. So they stop and look around.

"Nothing there. Anywhere. They get back into their sweet-ass van with a nice custom paintjob of a dragon on the side breathing fire. And then they drive away.

"But the noises keep haunting them. Ahehehcheha. What was that, where was it coming from? It followed them for miles.

"Slowly, they realized! It was coming from inside the car!

"And then he was there! This dwarf thing, like something from a Lynch movie! In the backseat! Trying to make time with the guy's sister!"

"Krillin. Tell a real scary story."

"-Are you claiming that my story was not at all terrifying?"

"There was once a kind, wise monk. He was calmly minding his own business. Meditating. Close to enlightenment. But then, he was abducted by two drunk, disorderly twins who pretended to be his friend and lured him into their tacky van."

"We weren't drunk. Very drunk."

"How dare you. My van is the nicest thing you've ridden in."

"What happened next, shrimp?"

"They took him 'camping,' in the woods. Where it was full of places to hide another body."

"So they murdered him?"

"On the inside, at least."

"Okay. My turn."

143. Virgin

Juuhachigou, perhaps because she was a cyborg, or perhaps because she was simply Juuhachigou, kept asking him the weirdest questions. She seemed to understand basic human interaction. She could tell one person from another, and definitely could read other people's faces and see what they wanted. With a simple glance, the slim blonde knew to tell his Master off and to scare the pig before either of them could grab at him.

But with Krillin, Juuhachigou seemed to take a peculiar delight in making him uncomfortable.

He would sit on the couch, flipping through the channels, and Juuhachigou would sit beside him flipping through a magazine. Then she would shove it into his face. "What's this position called?"

His yell would be muffled by the pages. "Oh, Kami."

The blonde woman pulled the magazine away. "Really? Someone named a sexual position after him?" She looked at the picture carefully. "I guess it must be pretty good then."

And he would choke and have to use the remote controller to the TV to hit his chest until he could breathe.

In the movie theater, where Juuhachigou peered at the couples around them, curious:

'Why did I think it was a good idea to bring her to a romantic movie?' Krillin had long enough to ask himself. Immediately the answer came to him: because I thought it might be romantic. Then she was whispering politely in his ear as to not disrupt the other movie goers.

"Why are they doing that?"

He peered around the theater. "What?"

She pointed out one pair in particular. "That. I get why her hands down his pants, and why his hands are up her shirt, but why in a theater? Is it some thrill thing?"

"Stop staring at them," the short man hissed, wishing she would just watch the movie and eat some overpriced popcorn. She got why they were doing it. Did she think about that stuff? Did she want someone to do that with? Oh god. Calm down. In the darkness, with a romantic movie playing, with Juuhachigou at his side. Calm down.

"Why, isn't that what they want?"

"No, they want privacy!"

"Then why are they here? Do they think no one can see them?"

Eventually, the couple pawing at each other realized they were being watched. They turned to look at the other pair, and Krillin sheepishly smiled and gave them a sorry wave. My...friend, she has problems with social norms. Like all his friends, really. But they didn't watch strangers make out. As far as Krillin knew.

Juuhachigou just stared at them. "Are you two into people watching you having sex?"

They finally left, aghast and probably wondering what they'd escaped from. Her casual tone could have been indicating how rude they were, or propositioning for a chance to watch them.

"I wonder," she whispered to him, straight-faced. "If they've tried the Kami position."

Never before had he wished for a flask. One filled with something strong enough to make him pass out right then and there. She would have probably have left him there though, drunk and groggy and confused. Or taken his wallet, and then left him there, drunk and groggy and confused.

Again he would wish for that magic flask (could he ask the Eternal dragon for one?) as Juuhachigou suddenly sat across from him at the table. Krillin looked at her suspiciously, while Master Roshi leered at her from his place in the kitchen. His pupil gave him a sharp look to remind him that it was his turn to make dinner, and maybe he should get back to cutting those tomatoes.

"All your friends are married, or in relationships. Even the dumb, scarred one."

"The dumb scarred one has a name, you know."

"And a girlfriend."

Krillin looked at her, feeling tension tightening his neck muscles. "Yes, okay, he has a girlfriend."

"But you don't. You don't have many relationships with females."

Master Roshi's knife went thump, thump, steadily. Matching Krillin's heartbeat. Was this good, or bad? Juuhachigou seemed thoughtful. Was there any dim chance that she might now say, 'and that's a good thing, because I want to have a relationship with you'?

"Are you more attracted to males?"

His head hit the table quicker than it took his Master to stop using his knife on the bright vegetable (fruit?) on the cutting board. He sighed for a long time, knowing that all this was somehow right. No, Juuhachigou would never like him the same way he cared for her. But how she had come to this conclusion was a mystery.

Was there something about him that gave off a signal, or was it just that he didn't have a lot of luck with girls? His voice, his clothes, his sense of humor? "No, Juuhachigou, I am not into men."

She cocked her bright head to the side. "What about Goku?"

The old turtle hermit was coughing frantically. Krillin wondered if it was rude or not to suggest aloud that perhaps her wiring was faulty. "No, neither is Goku."

"I mean," She explained politely, "that you and Goku were not a couple?"

"No! Kami, no!"

"You two never did the 'kami'?" How could she ask such a thing so tonelessly?

"What? Of course not!"

His master seemed to not want to know what exactly she was talking about. But still he had to stare. Slowly, he turned away from the tomatoes. He looked at them with more gravity than was necessary.

Juuhachigou shrugged. "You and Goku did nothing else sexual then?"

His voice rose until it was near hysterics. "Nothing! No! Never!" Even while his mind went back to the mud wrestling, the skinny dipping, the sharing of beds, the easy way they got along. No. That was just two men being friends. Best friends.

But did she have information on those moments to draw her (wrong) ideas from?

Her forehead creased. "You two are very close. I've never seen anyone so devoted to him the way you are outside people in relationships. Even his own wife insults and degrades that man."

"I'm his friend. I stick up to him. I'm loyal."

"More than his wife."

"Maybe, but you know Chi-Chi."

"Still." She shifted. "Bulma and Vegeta, who are married, fight more than you did with Goku."

"Well, that was only after we became friends. Before, I hated him."

A small smile appeared and disappeared from her face. "You did?"

"Of course. I thought he was some inbred moron, he couldn't even count past ten or read a full sentence."

That brief smile flashed again. Enough to make his insides watery and refracted and knees to weaken. Oh god. Calm down.

"But then I saw all his good sides, and-"

"Fell in love?" Juuhachigou suggested.

Krillin's own sentence ended with a squeak. She definitely did not mean brotherly love.

She shrugged, like this was an nothing event and totally understandable, an event that had been going on so long it was no longer worth commenting on. Which it never, never, ever had.

"I like women!" I can prove it! Then he would launch himself across the table to grab her hand and kiss her. Cup a cheek that was certainly smooth and warm and pull her closer. Touch the bright hair, and have her kiss him back.

Oh, oh god. Calm down. Please. This is just depressing.

Sometimes, his other friends would say that he was a little too loyal to Goku, but never had he been accused of being in love with the larger man.

My god, did people think that? Did someone wonder? Was this the reason why he was so single? Was this how he got Maron, because she couldn't even remember Goku's name? Why had no one told him this? Just a polite heads up, he wouldn't have been very offended, 'Hey, man, maybe you shouldn't have that picture of you and Goku with your arms around each other's shoulders. Or talk about him so much, and sound so awed by him. People might get the wrong impression.' And he would have changed, immediately.

"It's natural, I suppose. You were close. Humans do that." Bizarrely, the slim woman appeared empathetic. "I suppose it must have been hard for you when he got married."

Krillin looked up at her with huge eyes. "Are you joking? Are you just kidding me?"

"You mean to say it was very difficult for you? Are you being sarcastic?"

"No! Yes, I mean, sort of. Because I would miss him as a friend. Just a friend. That's all we were. And," Krillin added before she could get any idea. "That's all I wanted to be with him."

"You only like woman then?"

"Yes! Exactly!"

"Hm. I have to tell my brother that..."

"What?"

"And you never a period of…" she paused, searching for a word that he was sure would make his stomach fall out. "Experimentation? Humans also do that a lot. And at a young age. I don't have any files for much of your time as a teenager."

Indeed, his stomach was somewhere near his feet. He could have kicked it away from himself in disgust. "No, I only like woman. Only. At all times."

"And you want to get married, is that right?"

One spot of danger had been passed, but here came the poisoned darts. "I suppose."

"Then why aren't you?"

And the quicksand. "I haven't met the right person yet." Did his voice express any disappointment or agitation or signs of lying? What else was there to say? 'Oh, I met someone I think I'm in love with. Who is she? Well, you. But I don't think you want to marry me.' That would go well. He was a little tempted to do it, if only for the relief of getting that off his chest, as well as trying to put her feet to the fire.

Let her be uncomfortable. Let her be rattled.

But then she would leave and never want to talk to him again.

"You were engaged before. But," the slightest bit of humor crept into her voice. "You broke up with her."

"Why so surprised…Why does no one believe I can dump someone?"

"If you say so, Krillin." She stared at something in the distance, and he scratched at his chin. He hadn't shaved that morning, his head or his face, and he could feel the small stubble beginning to show. Juuhachigou hadn't known about his shaving habits, (why did everyone forget that as well?) and had stared at him flabbergasted when he'd come down to breakfast. Her curiosity was too scientific for it to be construed as any romantic intentions.

'Is it real?'

Still, he'd almost offered to let her touch his head. So he could at least go to his grave with that much.

"So, did you consummate this relationship?"

Somewhere, between this morning, and this evening, he had hit his head. Maybe he was dying and since he no longer fought, this was heaven. Or hell. Or he was just laying on the ground, unconscious, and dreaming this all up. Or maybe someone had slipped something into his food, and he was hallucinating? There was no version of reality where Juuhachigou would sit in his kitchen and ask whether or not he'd had...sexual relations with his ex-girlfriend.

After a minute of silence, Juuhachigou poked his chest. "Did you?"

"That's none of your business." Krillin's voice broke. He'd never said anything even mildly rude or defensive when they were alone, or basically alone with no witnesses. Juuhachigou would tear the eyes from the old man's skull to guarantee he would not tell anyone what happened here in this kitchen.

"I'm going to take that as a no."

"You're making me very uncomfortable." He told her, honestly.

Juuhachigou burst into laughter. An unwanted grin tugged at his lips. There was something about her being happy that made everything better. No matter if she was happy about your own suffering; the day looked brighter.

"So, are you still a virgin?"

When he moved his gaze from hers, Krillin realized that Master Roshi had long since taken off. "I don't suppose he paid you to get out of him having to make dinner?"

"No."

"Okay then."

"Going to answer the question?"

"Eventually."

"I can wait."

"Are you?"

"A virgin?" Juuhachigou shrugged. His hands were numb and his throat tight. "I have no idea. As far as I can remember, I've never slept with anyone. But are you?"

She was just as inexperienced as him. Why was that somehow cute to him? No boyfriend, never so much as a lover. Adorable that she was so innocent. Almost hard to believe, if you didn't know what she'd been through, to hear that she wasn't going out every weekend with a different guy.

...and maybe a better chance for his own awkward attempts at flirting? No, she would still be unimpressed.

"Why does it matter?"

"I want to know."

"It's none of your business!" He certainly never badgered her about her past. Out of respect.

"So? I want to know."

"Why!"

...Respect that she clearly did not feel towards him.

"Because I want know."

"But why?"

"Because I want to."

If he kept this up long enough, maybe a distraction would come along. Or she would grow bored.

"Why?"

"Because I do."

"But why?"

144. Protection

Goku's pale face was a fogged moon in her window. Juuhachigou stared at him, unsure whether or not to yell. Thankfully, her programming was so hidden and buried under reminders such as 'no, Krillin would be angry if you tried killing his friend,' and 'what would Juunanagou do? Do the opposite,' that she was able to control herself.

It wasn't worth what little satisfaction she might have blasting at his ridiculously smiling face. She couldn't really hurt him anyway, and her husband would disapprove, and her daughter was still asleep upstairs. The first time since she was pregnant, she woke up early, and this was her reward.

He knocked on the window, still grinning. "Hi, Juuhachigou!" The glass was further clouded up.

Juuhachigou sighed and made sure the coffee pot was on. "Come through the door." You stupid ape.

"And use the door knob!"

It was even odder than waking up next to one of the heroes she'd been partially created to destroy, sitting here and having coffee, (or in his case, juice) with the man she definitely was created to destroy. He just smiled nicely, and offered to make breakfast. Juuhachigou nodded, still silent, and continued to nod as he talked harmlessly while he pawed through the fridge about being back on Earth (he'd missed so much!), and about his children (Gohan was so big now! And he hadn't even known about having a younger child!), and how was her own family doing?

And there was the heart of the matter. Juuhachigou took another slow sip of coffee, bitter, and burning her tongue besides.

How was she treating Krillin, and Marron, whom he probably saw as Krillin's child more than hers? Like she hadn't carried her for nine months and gone through a painful hideous delivery and then proceeded to nurse her and change her diapers. Like she wouldn't have done all that over again, because her daughter's smile was more important than anything on the planet. Or that she would still do it even if Marron never smiled, because even her child's tantrums were precious.

Were they happy, could a machine make his best friend and child happy? He hadn't even thought it was possible for her to have a child.

"They're fine," she said, keeping her voice chilled to kill the smile on the large man's face. But it refused to die, and reminded her uncomfortably of Krillin.

"Yeah, that little girl of yours…Chi-Chi was so jealous. She always wanted a little girl. You're lucky you had her instead of a boy. Or you'd be surrounded like she says she is."

"I suppose."

Eggs were broken, and he apologized when yolk and whites ran down the walls in every direction and tried to salvage what he could of the rest. "We should get the kids together this weekend. Chi-Chi says that Goten needs more friends. Especially ones that don't fight. Marron isn't a fighter, is she? You're not training her?" Goku wiped down whatever he could find that had a piece of egg shell on it.

He tossed a rasher of bacon on the frying pan. "I still can't believe you and Krillin got married. I missed that too." His cheerful voice was soft with a sentiment that made Juuhachigou want to run up the stairs to safety. She sensed emotions would be expressed. Just throw herself under the bed.

"He really loves you. Even I can tell.

"Krillin always wanted to get married."

There was something glinting on his face, trailing slowly down. "Oh my god," she said aloud, "Are you crying?"

The absurdly spiky-haired man wiped his cheeks with the back of a hand that could have crushed everyone on the island without any effort. Large hand, calloused and slightly misshapen by lumps and scars from being broken so many times.

It made her love Krillin's hands, small and well-shaped and so unable to harm anyone or anything. Instead of hurting someone, he used those hands to tuck his daughter into bed and would hold his wife's chin still. 'Aw, Juu, I just like looking at your eyes.' But his own eyes betrayed his words and made 'like' to simple a word. They turned 'like' into a betrayal of how he felt.

"I guess so." He was still smiling, but like the glass, his eyes were fogged over with grief. "You guys just seem so happy. Like nothing bad happened or ever will happen, you know.

"It's really nice." The lower lip of arguably the strongest person in the universe was quivering. "Ch-Chi and the boys, they're happy to see me, but it's like they keep expecting me to...to disappear."

"You're not though." Her husband's firm voice echoed through the kitchen and made her jump in shock and relief. She turned her head, seeing a head of black mussed hair and sleepy eyes. She could have embraced him. He was so short and so intelligent, and normal and familiar. His hair never looked neater. Krillin sat beside her and Juuhachigou took his hand. "You're not going to leave, Goku."

The large man kept wiping at his eyes. He flipped the bacon over with a fork. "No, I'm not. I don't want to leave them ever again." The words were a vow, and he dropped another egg into the sizzling pan. "Where's your pancake mix?"

He was all smiles, and Krillin looked so happy.

Maybe, maybe Goku wasn't so bad. True, she didn't want to spend the holidays with him and wear matching sweaters. But the sight of him didn't fill her with a murderous rage. That was a start.

"Hey, Krillin." The taller man's face was creased with concentration over his plate. His eyes darted from his friend's to Juuhachigou's.

"You never explained how an android had a baby? What's up with that? How could she get pregnant?"

145. Couch

"This thing is disgusting."

Krillin glanced up from his book, suddenly sure that both cyborgs had stopped by, and were talking about him. Whenever Juunanagou came by to see his sister, to try and talk her back into his half-finished cabin, they both hardly spared a glance in his direction. Usually, he was referred to as the 'short human' as opposed to the 'old human' and 'the pig.' But to hear them looking down at him and calling him disgusting wasn't too far a stretch.

But instead, there only stood Juuhachigou looking down as a goddess might upon a pigpen.

With one foot, she kicked the couch and caused the whole thing to tremble. "Look at this; it must be older than the turtle."

Which wasn't totally fair. Only lately had the couch began to show wear and tear, and most of it had to do with her. He wouldn't had spilled that cocoa had she come down the stairs with a warning and wearing something more than a t-shirt and cutoffs. Krillin wouldn't have torn the cushion with his nails had she chosen not to swim right in front of the window like that, back and forth. Those scissors would never have fallen and ripped a hole had she not chosen to curl up next to him when he was clipping grocery coupons. And definitely, he would not have knocked the entire thing over and done irrecoverable harm to the springs had she not suddenly been overcome with a sudden playfulness that made her want to spar in the living room.

"It doesn't even go with anything else in this house."

"Lot of memories on that couch though."

"What, you and your ex?"

"Aw. Me and Goku. And Launch. And Tien when he stayed here for training. And when Yamcha lived here. Oh, and that week Vegeta was kicked out of Capsule Corp and was too injured to go anywhere else. We all sat on this couch.

"And this is where Master Roshi watches his TV shows. You can't get rid of those memories."

She looked disgusted. Revolted in the full meaning of the word. "So what you're saying is, it's seen a lot of wear and tear. Disgusting wear and tear."

He patted it, on its back carefully. "It's seen the asses of the strongest fighters on the planet."

"We need to burn this thing."

146. Bite

There was a brief, fifteen second pause as she sunk her teeth into the vulnerable skin of his neck. A fifteen second moment where his brain went, 'What? Is she biting me? What?' Then he began yelling, and flaying to get her off him. This was not in any rule book for sparring.

It only encouraged her to loosen her grip on him with her teeth, and apply her lips and tongue to the wound, sucking and licking the spot of skin over and over again. She didn't know if it made the bite hurt less, but Krillin did collapse under her and make this choked, groaning whimper. Juuhachigou stared at his motionless face, limp with shock, counting the dots on his forehead. They always came out to six.

On the back of his neck, the bite mark was a bright irritated red.

The slim woman lowered her head to whisper in his ears. "What? This is how Bulma explained how someone should establish dominance. This is exactly what she did to Vegeta."

His fingers twitched weakly.

"…but then," Juuhachigou voiced her thoughts aloud. "Maybe that was just them?"

147. Massage

"Juuhachigou, really."

"Just let me-"

"I think you really pulled a muscle."

"So what?" Juuhachigou immediately swatted him away, one-handed since moving the other caused all the blood to drain from her face. "What, because my brother let you live with us, you think that gives you the right to act like our nurse?"

"Well, someone has to!" And it was true. Ever since Master Roshi tossed his depressed hind-quarters out of his house in an attempt to make Krillin more independent, and he wound up sleeping on the twin's couch, he was the one running around with Band-Aids. And bandages, scissors and thin wires, disinfectant, and thinking of something soothing to say while he wrapped or sewed all that onto one of them. Usually Juunanagou.

Juuhachigou rarely was harmed, except when she and her brother finally had enough of each other and went at it like wild wolves. The first time, Krillin had stared aghast as they wrestled and tried to strangle one another. Covering his eyes and mentally shrieking, 'oh god, the humanity! Someone stop them!' Until they finally smashed into him and sent all three falling to the floor with fresh bruises.

The next time, he just hid in the cabin and searched for the disinfectant.

He also cleaned.

Now, watching the blonde woman grimace, he understood that being a masseuse was being added to his title of caretaker. Already, it was weighed down the subtitles of: candle maker, electrician, carpenter, nurse, psychiatrist, shoe cobbler, cleaner, cook, and teamster.

Krillin was becoming very resourceful. Exactly what his Master would have wanted. Clearly, when the wizened martial artist had gone mysteriously silent over the phone as his pupil told him all about his new house, not saying a word even as the operator over the the pay phone asked Krillin for another handful more of spare change.

"Come on now, Juuhachigou. Let me take a look at it."

Her blue-eyed sharp look only egged him on.

"It's that, or wait until it gets worse. Then you have to go to a doctor."

Her blue eyes narrowed.

"Or go to Bulma's. With Vegeta maybe there."

"Fine," she turned around. "It just hurts a little."

But he knew that it must have caused her more than a little pain. Otherwise she would never show a sign of discomfort. "Okay then."

And then Krillin waited for her to make the first move. He wasn't sure if she would take her shirt off, or lift part of it up. But he knew better than to say anything or indicate anything about her undressing in any way. She would hurt both his arms far more than Juunanagou had hurt one of hers if he said, 'Okay, then, take off your shirt. And maybe your bra too, for good measure.' If she was even wearing one of those.

Using her good hand, she awkwardly lifted the back of her shirt as best she could. It was a short sleeved thing, light blue and Krillin thought flattered her eyes in particular. Of course that could never get mentioned either. Slowly, he helped her raise the fabric until he could get a better view of her injuries.

A bruise several shades darker than those eyes she and her brother's shared covered the pale arm from elbow to shoulder blade. The skin looked intact, though, no open wounds. "It's not too bad," Krillin offered, helpfully.

"The bruises aren't the worse part. I think that little bastard pulled something in my back."

He tried not to marvel at the expanse of pale porcelain skin. The scars that discolored and marked the skin, raising it in areas, only added to the charm. Why was it that seeing the imperfections on her back only made him like her more? In fact, the more he stared at them, the more Krillin was staring to appreciate them. They made her look a little dangerous. Like a tattoo, or piercing, but with even more meaning.

Some of the bruises were kinda deep though, now that he focused on them. He'd always thought that family and sibling, even more so when they were twins, would get along somewhat well and certainly wouldn't pommel each other at every opportunity. Maybe these two hadn't gotten that memo?

Gently, Krillin traced down her back. She shivered, and he nearly did so as well. Nurse, professional, pleasant…nurse. "Does this hurt?" His voice cracked and he moved his hand downward. Every time he touched one of her scars, she jumped a little. The rough scars were a mystery—were they from cybernetic inputs or something else? They felt lovely against his own scarred and calloused fingers.

It wasn't as though he didn't have his own marks, from various fights. These are like that. Only from a different type of fight. He gibbered some more to himself. Very similar.

Being frustrated and very aware of her presence in the house (frustratingly aware) was nothing new. The first night spent here, he'd awoken from an uneasy slumber on the couch when Juuhachigou stomped into the kitchen. Only dressed in her underclothes that hid very little and caused him to fall from the couch and her to take notice of him.

It was harder to say who freaked out more: Krillin, who covered his entire face with a blanket to block out his very, very lovely view, or Juuhachigou, who ran back to her bedroom, screaming her brother's name and several choice curses. Who then wandered out in his own underwear and looked similar enough to his sister to make Krillin sigh and rub his forehead.

She was very soft, and resting near to him on the couch, back still facing him. They were alone, Juunanagou somewhere, perhaps nursing his own wounds in the woods like an animal. Never before had the couch looked so comfortable, or so large enough to sit both of them.

He increased the pressure on her back, slowly. Morbidly, Krillin wondered if continuing to touch her gently would result in his death, or if hurting her would. If he did exactly what he wanted, wrap an arm around her and pull her into his lap, as well as touching the mussed hair that he knew from holding her while she was unconscious would be light silk.

Juuhachigou groaned something. He nearly bit through his lip when he noticed her biting her own. "Okay…that, that didn't feel terrible."

The coyness didn't help.

"What about this?"

The flaxen-haired woman nearly purred. "That's not bad either."

The dark-haired man nearly wept. "Does this hurt?"

"No. It's fine."

"What about this?"

Another dark-haired man nearly had a cardiac episode from his viewpoint in the hallway. "What the hell?

"What is this?

"What were you two doing?"

The other two people in the room were able to sudden process what they must have looked like, his hands on her back, half-holding up her shirt, the other massaging the skin. Juuhachigou leaning forward, eyes nearly closed and expectant, her pants almost sliding down an inch. Their faces must have been flushed, and guilty. Hair, opposite shades regardless, hung in their sweaty faces.

"How come," his hands, lethal and strong and fast enough to send Krillin to join his best friend before the short man knew what hit him, rested on the young man's slim hips, "She gets a massage?"

"Because I'm better than you," Juuhachigou said immediately.

"At what?"

"You name it."

Krillin breathed a sigh of relief as they bickered. He wouldn't die yet. Then a pair of layered shirt landed on his lap. Juuhachigou started to laugh, softly, at him. Juunanagou shoved her out of the way, completely away from the dark-haired man that definitely had tears in his eyes.

"Okay, now my turn."

148. The grocery store was filled with all sorts of interesting people.

Seeing Vegeta pricing bags of chips, doing clear mental calculations in his mind complete with face twitching, a full grocery cart in front of him was enough to make Krillin sure he was losing his mind.

To increase the unsettled feeling, the Saiyan was still in his armor, and getting some serious looks.

"Vegeta? What, what are you doing here."

His face was skull-like. "The woman…I am retrieving supplies."

"She has you doing grocery runs?" He couldn't stop the smiling cracking his face apart. "Wow. Bulma must really have you whipped!"

"What?" He looked alarmed, and made Krillin remember how literal he took things.

"You! The prince of all Saiyans and all that. Going grocery shopping! Are those coupons?"

He looked at the clippings in his hands, as though seeing them for the first time. "Yes."

"Are those diapers? Is that…is that a box of you-know-what?

"You're buying those?"

"Yes."

"Wooow."

"What of it, human?"

"Short leach. Do you have to be back at a certain time, or she'll make you sleep on the couch?"

Vegeta was strickem silent, the truth in his eyes.

"Damn. Never knew she could tame you. Hehe. Anyway, see you later. I have to get some ice cream.

"Say, maybe I'll see in the checkout line?"

But when he got to the 10 Items or Fewer line, he didn't see any short armored man with a haircut that screamed 'rage issues.' He shrugged it off, bought a TV channel guide for Oolong, and blushed and stammered around the blonde-blue-eyed checkout girl.

The entire event left his mind until a week later when he came downstairs for a bowl of late afternoon cereal.

As before, the sight of Vegeta in such a normal setting was disquieting. He sat there on the couch, back straight, face just a wall with eyes and pointed nose and sneer as he watched the exercise program with Master Roshi. Who grinned and cheered at the girls, directing every non-lecherous comment at the contemptuous young man. Oolong sat at the table, watching them both nonplussed.

"This is what you Earthling call training?"

"No, hehehe, this is called relaxation!

"Would have thought you'd know a bit about it, what with living with Bulma and Dr. Briefs and all, hehaha."

It was hard not to run upstairs for a camera, or to run out the backdoor and never return.

His mind kept refusing to accept the sight of the uptight warrior sitting on the small red couch, surrounded by dirty magazine, with the turtle hermit by his side. Conversing.

Oh Dende, imagine them bonding. 'Hehe, my son, it's time to teach you the kamehameha.' Just as he used to call Goku and Krillin. 'Son, why don't you get me a beer and tell me more about Bulma. Hehehe.' Sitting beside him with rolling eyes and reluctant nods to finding certain women attractive. Just like Krillin used to.

Imagining Vegeta in a dark orange-red Kame uniform was enough to make the ex-monk shake his head in disorientation. "What are you doing here Vegeta?"

"I refuse to bend under the woman's yolk."

"Um. Okay."

"No more will I let here push the Prince of all Saiyans around!"

"That's good?"

"I am not her plaything to serve her every whim!"

"She kicked you out, huh?"

"…" Besides him, Master Roshi cooed at the main exercise girl's thighs.

"It's okay. Did the same to Yamcha all the time."

The Saiyan narrowed his eyes at the name, and the comparison.

"How come you're here? Though. In general."

The turtle-shelled old man answered for him. "He can't rough it outdoors all the time. Besides, he's a prince. He deserves a roof over his head."

"Did Capsule Corp spoil you?"

Vegeta sneered, and Krillin sneered right back.

"You two can share a room," his Master told him, speaking mostly into the television screen.

"Why can't he sleep on the couch?"

"He's the guest."

"I was here first!"

"Share, Krillin! This is my roof, so therefore my rules."

"Fine."

Vegeta just grunted and turned back to the screen.

The turtle hermit stared at him, while Krillin sat on the other couch across from them and tried not to let his lower lips stick out. "Say, Vegeta, my boy, do you want soda? I think there's still some of Krillin's grape soda in the fridge?"

"Hey!"

"He's the new guest! Share!"

The rest of the evening passed with Vegeta solemnly drinking the rest of his soda, watching the action/adventure movie that played on the screen, and nodding absently to the comments Master Roshi said throughout. When an infomercial began playing, they turned the TV off.

"I guess you boys should get to bed sometimes soon." The old man stretched, bones cracking and creaking.

"You can take Krillin's room."

"What?"

"Share!"

Exchanging disgusted glances, together they walked to the stairs, shoving each other (to no avail on Krillin's attempt) and scowling. Upstairs, the room looked tinier than ever, and more cluttered than before. Vegeta nudged a guitar case with his foot, but made no comment on the room.

"Okay. I guess you need something to wear? To bed?"

"I suppose so."

"Er. These used to be Goku's. Kept them around since he sometimes stayed over when his own wife got pissed off.

"But, you know what, I think you'll be able to wear some of my clothes." For once, it was kinda funny being so short.

"Shut up."

Neither wanted to leave the other alone in the room, so they awkwardly had to undress in front of each other. Trying to glare at each other and hope the other person would take a hint, and simultaneously avoid staring. Both shuddering and wishing they weren't there. Totally reminded of that time on Namek.

It was totally unlike living with the other Saiyan, who had no shame when it came to being naked around others. Back when Krillin had been a kid, and with more cynicism, but with his whole life ahead of him. He closed his eyes and tried to pull on a t-shirt blind, recalling that boy who could never have guessed he would one day dress in front of an alien warrior, and that he would have to do this twice. That boy who truly had died in just about every way after...being killed.

The one who'd come back was more grateful, wise, and unselfish. A man in everything but height and actually completing puberty.

Admittedly, perhaps it was still childish to divide the room down the middle with bright painter's tape. Vertically straight down, with futons on either side. Completely fair.

"You stay on your side. I stay on mine."

"Fine, human."

They turned away, unable to stand the sight of each other.

"Hah. I got the window view side."

"Shut up."

"Look, I'm going to go get a glass of water downstairs."

Vegeta grinned. "Oh, no, human. I got the door side."

"What?"

He flicked the smaller man's head with one finger, causing Krillin's vision to blur. "You stay on your side, and I on mine."

"That's not fair!"

"My side."

The Saiyan stalked to a wall and tore down a poster.

"Stop it!"

"My side!"

"Cut it out!"

"Stupid pictures anyway. Is this one of Kakarotte? Extra stupid." He tore the picture in two and tossed it across the Krillin-made border. "Here. You can have it back."

It was the final straw. "Knock it off. HEY!"

Vegeta pushed him with enough force to send him flying. "You put any body part on my side and I'll rip it apart like I did that stupid picture!"

So he was forced to crawl out the window to leave, flying down to Master's room. The lights were encouragingly on, and it was easy to open the window to come in. Roshi didn't glance at him from his own futon.

"Master Roshi! Master Roshi!"

There wasn't a pause in his page flipping, but a tiredness in his voice. "What is it?"

"Vegeta's wrecking my stuff!"

"Oh, leave him alone. He's going through a rough patch. What with fighting with Bulma—"

"Everyone fights with her!"

"And losing Goku and all."

"Goku was my friend!"

"Now, don't be greedy. He was friends with everyone."

"I knew him first! And Vegeta didn't even like him.

"It's not fair."

Master Roshi turned another page. "Maybe you two should get bunk beds?"

"Not funny. Not funny at all."

Overgrown eyebrows were raised. "I wasn't joking."

"Master. Master. He's wearing my pajamas."

"They fit him?"

There was no reasoning with the ancient hermit.

Unable to just hand over territory, he went back to his room empty-handed, rather than sleep on the couch. Vegeta had the extra flurry pillow and the thicker futon, and it was the easiest thing to glare at his back. He looked a little smaller, more human, than he had during the Cell games. Maybe Bulma really was right when she'd said he was a broken man who hardly ever training and had given up fighting, rather than just trying to convince her friends that it was safe to come by?

It almost made you feel sorry for the guy. His son, the one that could actually talk, had left and would probably never come back, his friendemy was gone, and right after an adorable woman his own height had beaten him up, a giant mosquito had knocked him out, and shortly after that an eleven-year-old who spent his days reading and doing algebra had surpassed him in power.

On the other hand, the guy got to be married (to Bulma, admittedly, but she couldn't be that bad all the time) and had a child and normally a nice roof over his head. Literally had servants at his beck and call to care for his needs. Mrs. Briefs to cook for him. Was the second-strongest of the fighters.

But really, the man had a child that called him 'Dada' and a woman who screamed that he was her husband and therefore had to do what she asked informing everyone within a five miles radius of this face. A son with his scowling face to hold, a beautiful genius who reluctantly would admit to loving him.

The sympathy waned.

Plus, Vegeta snored.

Krillin glared at the Saiyan some more, until he finally fell backwards onto his pillow. He woke up to being hit in the face with freezing water by his smirking new roommate. "You said you wanted water."

The shorter man was too busy trying not to choke and to understand the situation to come up with a witty reply. And of course, when the ex-monk stumbled down with a damp t-shirt and still stunned by being half-asleep, he was expected to prepare a big breakfast. And when he burned his hand on the hot pan, everyone laughed at him, led by Vegeta. Of course.

There were no thanks as he handed out overflowing plates of pancakes.

"What's with the hair, human?" Which drew everyone's attention to Krillin's skull.

His hands began sweating just at the idea of the reason. "I'm thinking of growing it out."

"Haha, is that to impress the android?" Vegeta nearly choked on his pancake in delight. Krillin seriously had to think over him whether or not he'd help the guy if he was dying.

"What? What android?" Their other roommates stared at the Saiyan for an explanation. All the moisture in the short man's mouth dried up. He couldn't even talk about Juuhachigou clearly with himself, let alone others.

The stronger fighter leaned back in his chair, just slightly. "Oh, the baldy has a crush on one of the androids."

"What? What? Oh god, I hope it's one of the smaller ones."

"Yes, it's the girl one." His jaw hurt from all the clenching.

"Which girl one?"

"The blonde one," Vegeta added.

Krillin didn't even like Juunanagou, even after finding out the guy was Juuhachigou's twin brother rather than romantic competition. On a basic human level, the android scared him. But he couldn't stand for the weird, scarf-wearing teen to be besmirched by Vegeta.

"The brunette's a guy!"

"Are you saying you're attracted to men? Because you could have told me that."

"What? No! I like the blonde one!"

"...You did have that gay porn magazine...

"And Goku told us about you liking Upa..."

"I don't like guys!"

"Is the blonde one the big one?"

Vegeta was definitely leaning back in his chair. Smug smiles at the furious other man. "I don't fully recall."

"Well, she was sure taller than you!"

Immediately, all four legs hit the ground. Teeth were revealed. "And you! I'm taller than you!"

"Now, now, boys. Settle down. I'm sure she's a perfectly nice girl," Master Roshi said, trying to appease his pupil. "Wait. No, she isn't. She showed up trying to kill Goku."

Krillin pointed at Vegeta, face flushed. "So did him!"

"That was a while ago though."

"Yeah. Man, the androids were trying to kill Goku just a few months ago."

Right now, this should be when Vegeta revealed he was still evil and wanted to murder the other Saiyan. Right now. Now.

Instead, he just reached out to grab another stack of pancakes.

"You should really think things over with this 'girl'."

"Oh, shut up."

"She's dangerous. And not in the helpful way that Vegeta is."

"You don't even know her! I bet-I bet she's out helping someone right now. Doing community service. Taking care of stray animals."

Vegeta's mouth was full like a chipmunk. Cocked that pointy head.

"She's a perfectly nice girl." Which was the story he was determined to stick with, despite his own doubts. It was hard to imagine her doing something so normal as having a job and an apartment and petting kittens. But if she was murdering people, they probably would have heard of it.

Probably.

"Bet," he swallowed hugely. "Bet she's probably robbing someone right now."

"She is not!"

"Probably killing humans, wherever the hell she is. Not that I necessarily have a problem with that."

"If she's all that good-looking and normal, then wouldn't she already have a boyfriend?"

"I'm not saying I'm trying to date her! Really. I've moved on from the crush I had."

He got three pairs of flat gazes.

"I am. I wouldn't mind being friends, is all. Just that. To talk to her."

The Saiyan was devouring a banana, the joke so clear, and yet Krillin was too broken to made it. "Is that why you growing your hair? As though you'd be able to talk to the machine even without being bald."

"No! I'm, I'm doing it for someone else!"

"Who?"

"None of your business. You don't know her at all!"

Vegeta's voice was all mushy from the fruit. "Is it the dark-haired android?"

The old hermit had to push Krillin away before he could throw himself at Vegeta and try and fail to strangle him. The sociopath murdering monkey that just sat there coolly eating a banana. Ignoring Krillin's rage-sputtering that went like this, if less coherent: "Not a girl. So what if he made some weird move towards me. Not into him. Like Juuhachigou. But not in that way. Or. What?"

Master Roshi shoved a shopping list into his hands, trying to get him out of the house. "You let him stay here. Now you feed him."

"Oh, I see. Honeymoon period over with. Bloom off the rose. Now you come crawling back to your old pupil."

"Krillin. You're being paranoid. But make sure to get the right mustard; Vegeta won't eat the wrong kind."

Vegeta nodded seriously.

To make matters worse, there wasn't even the cute checkout girl at the grocery store. With his luck lately, she'd probably gone off to get married to a super handsome guy and have a bunch of great kids and go to college and get a hugely successful career.

At least it wasn't raining.

Yet.

What he really needed, he thought, scanning the milk, was for some lightening to hit him. That would complete his life completely. He pushed two carts behind him, heading for the eggs and nearly walked right into one of those pretty blonde girls who seemed now to haunt him,and reminded him dully of the cashier.

...what?

He and Juuhachigou did a double-take at each other over the sour cream. She had a basket full of yogurt and a tired look, and Krillin had two carts crammed with different food, three different types of mustard that Vegeta wouldn't like and a tired look.

She looked defensive and heartbreaking normal in jeans and a t-shirt. The sneakers were so pedestrian that Krillin almost fell to his knees. Motioning to her basket, "My brother insists on eating this junk. He practically forced me to buy all this."

"Yeah, Vegeta's kinda a huge eater too. If I don't buy this, he says he'll take over my room."

The most perfect wrinkle appeared between those startling bright eyes. She was so distractingly attractive that he kept wanting to shake his head to clear it out. "What? Vegeta? I thought you lived...do you live at Capsule Corp?"

"Oh. Yeah. No. I mean, I still live Kame House. But so's Vegeta."

"...Why?"

It was so normal, and such a sane question to ask. In the midst of all this craziness. Krillin could have loved her for that alone.

"I'm not too sure anymore. Bulma kicked him out."

"And now he's living with you?"

"Yep."

"Wow."

"Yeah. Bulma kicked him out. So now he's living with me."

"Why not just toss him out?"

"I literally cannot do that. He refuses to leave. We're sharing a bedroom. Which really sucks because I miss not sharing my space.

"I mean, having the bedroom to myself. With more room in it."

Dear god, stop talking. You know she's going to take that the wrong way. Why did you say any of that?

"Can't you make her take him back?"

She was looking furtively down at her basket.

Was she really shopping for her brother? What if she didn't even live with her brother? Instead, maybe she was shopping for a boyfriend. A live-in lover. Tall, handsome, tanned. Chiseled nose. He could see the penthouse apartment, them in a small bed, waking up wrapped in sheets and each other's arms for a deep meaningful kiss. Hair ruffled amorously. Talking about how amazing their life was together, how great the future was. They would share a meaningful silence of looking deep into each other's eyes, like when Chi-Chi and Goku were having a calm moment, and when Vegeta and Bulma were so tired of screaming and fighting that they would lean against the nearest available moment, look to each other, and go along with whatever the other wanted. His sun browned fingers against her pale skin, say, how about you go get some yogurt for breakfast. Dressing and undressing in front of him, without shame. And then they would hop back into the rumpled bed and incorporate the yogurt into their vigorous and frequent sex play.

"Krillin? Krillin?"

His name had never sounded so good. How the way she said 'Kerr' made him imagine the shape of her tongue in her mouth, the l's rolling off, the clinging 'in.' She made it sound like good, important thing. Her legs were coltish and the grey socks she wore didn't match the rest of her clothes. What was with her and her brother and footwear? Why was that so charming? The words 'sex play' wouldn't leave his head.

"Say, how about you come with me to Capsule Corp? To, uh, talk to Bulma? Maybe about the android-"

What? Why would you say that? Stop talking.

"-thing?"

"No thanks. I have some other things to do."

Like what? A boyfriend? Vegeta was so right, about everything. 'Sex play. Sex play.'

"If Bulma doesn't take him back, you could get rid of him by having someone else move in."

"Eehh. Sure. Maybe."

"Someone he really hates."

"Uuuh. Like, who?" 'Sex play.'

"How about my brother?"

Oh god, the things Vegeta would say to that, the comments and jokes, how his other roommates would jump to conclusions. What Juunanagou would say to all that. 'Seeex. Play.'

"Uuuh. Maybe? But wouldn't you miss him?"

"I suppose I'd just like to live alone for awhile."

149. Wet

Considering they lived on an island, surrounded by water, he and Master Roshi rarely went swimming. Juuhachigou continued the tradition of apathy. At least, she had.

He did his best not to stare. Sitting here on his Master's old beach chair, he tried to keep his eyes on something other than the person swimming quite athletically, almost showing off. Not that he was watching.

It wasn't as though he could see anything besides her bright head bobbing above the water.

At least, he hadn't been able to.

With the blankest face, too stunned to even blush, he handed her a towel and looked at the palm trees that he would just look at, focus on and never turn away from. Never.

Never.

No matter how much she laughed, mocking him, asking him what she thought of her new bathing suit, and did he want to take a dip in the water with her?

150. If the world ended right now…

What the hell where those guys thinking? Bad enough that Piccolo was running out there to help Gohan fight Cell, at least the Namek had somewhat of a chance. But what could he and the other humans do besides get in the way? Stupid of them, reckless too, to just blast off and go towards those huge twin blasts aimed at each other, swallowing each other, destroying the Earth. Power big enough to wreck the entire planet being burst out. Insanely strong.

They didn't have a chance.

He watched Yamcha and Tien fly away, and knew exactly what he had to do. Maybe it was from all the years of fighting being ingrained, the need to protect burned into his soul or something, or Goku and his son's bravery rubbing off, but there was no way Krillin could sit here.

Even if he died, which he probably would…almost certainly, considering his track record. Krillin swallowed.

Painfully, too. Long and slow and drawn out and bloody.

Still, he powered up and glanced around at the two people he was supposed to protect, one already dead and the other unconscious. At least I got to see her one last time.

Gero's eighteenth creation was looking peaceful, after he'd laid her down as gently as he could. She was nothing like the scary androids they'd all fear, with her eyes closed and hair fluttering from the commotion. If she was awake, she would be flying for the fight right now. No matter how little difference it might make. Juuhachigou would definitely be brave.

Really, it wasn't just fighting futilely for the Earth, for Goku's memory, for Gohan, for the other fighter's, but for her too since she wasn't able to fight.

I got to see her one last time, and keep her safe, for a little while. And then he wasn't so scared anymore of dying.

151. Aphrodisiac

Yamcha had casually thrown out, jokingly, "man, those androids must really like you." He was all casual grins, not moving from his place on the couch where he laid watching sports with the others.

Besides the scarred fighter, Tien nodded and smiled. "Even Juunanagou gets along well with you."

"And that big guy. Juurokugou, you got along with him," Chaotzu chirped in.

A can of beer was raised in a bemused Krillin's direction. "He's the android whisperer. We didn't need the Saiyans to defeat them; should have just sent you in there."

"In fact," the three-eyed man was thinking things over. "Juunanagou motioned for you to come over as soon as he saw you."

"…really? Huh. Weird. Too fight, right?"

Tien answered for the smaller man. "Don't know."

"They're drawn to you. Forget flying. There's your superpower."

"It's strange now that I think about it. And they didn't beat you up like the rest of us. You guys just talked instead."

"Amazing."

There might have been respect in Yamcha's eyes. "Like you've got a magnet in your head. Huh. Not a babe magnet; an android magnet."

"Hey, there's some overlap in there." His joke was met with horrified, newly considering stares.

Krillin rubbed his head awkwardly, and wondered if he could make his new supposed power work at will. It would definitely have helped his chances with Juuhachigou.

Work magnet, work. C'mon. You and me magnet. And Juuhachigou. How do magnets even work anyway? Damnit.

...Please?