Author's Note:
Loved all the new reviews, adds to favorites, author watches,
And my-name-is-foxglove, I'll try to include more Goku/Chi-Chi next time. I can definitely promise you at least one Chi-Chi POV for the next batch, and another high school AU with Chi/Goku.
I'd also advice readers to go to my profile for a list of stories hosted offsite, if they wanted to read more from me.
For now, in this segment:
Belated Christmas fills, spots of Vegeta and Yamcha, and Krillin trying to serenade 18.
i thought, there is no paved street worthy
of your perfect scandanavian feet
while my crooked chinese fingers groped
the machinery of your throat
These Few Presidents, Why
201. "I'm so full of love, it deeply sickens me."
She was definitely getting stares from the other housemates, a group that included a pair of perverts, a talking turtle, and her uncomfortable twin brother. But what did any of them matter? Next to her, warm and relaxed and leaning into her, Krillin sat and gazed up at her.
If there had been a mirror there, she would no longer recognized her own reflection at this moment. And there was mirror resting on a desk by a bunch of pictures of people she had been programmed to possess knowledge on. These people she'd been created to kill and that she now disgusted by making out with their old friend in front of them.
Who was this person who no longer cared about public affection and would be pushed away, finally, by Krillin because they were holding up traffic or a line of disinterested people?
202. After Ten Cups of Coffee, and You're Still Not Here
After another hour passed, she had to accept the fact that her brother had probably left her here. Maybe on accident. Maybe he'd simply let time get away from him chasing squirrel or shooting at the police with his rifle while he pretended that he had a hostage.
But she had a sinking feeling that he was probably playing 'matchmaker,' in his lackadaisical, insane way. Like all she needed was to be left alone with Krillin, and they would immediately become a couple. As though it were that simple. She might have been stuck in some young, never-aging body of a madman's creation, but that didn't mean she was ruled by her hormones. Krillin was insane and desperate, but presumably knew to keep it in his pants.
The growing shadows in this living room did not symbolize any sickening concept like sexual tension. A concept that might be summed up as an increasing sensation of self-consciousness of her physical body being in the same room as his, the realization that clothes could be a shield, the curve of her skirt, the gleam of eyes turned downward, that you could nearly smell lust and it was the stench of the ocean, and roll-on deodorant over sweat that beaded along the hairline and trickled down your back. The realization that this table was wide enough for only one person to lay down on, but probably strong enough to hold up two.
"As soon as Juunanagou shows up, I'm gone."
A pair of dark eyes started at her across the bottle of non-dairy creamer. One well-made hand reached for coffee pot. "It's alright. I don't mind."
203. An Awkward Moment
Yamcha had, in a moment of forgetfulness and glee, called his old friend. After the phone went up and past the twentieth ring that made the fighter realize how late it must be over on Kame Island and Krillin's still monkish habits of early-to-be-early-to-rise. But he had to tell him the good news, how awesome life was lately for everyone…at least he'd called the short guy's private line rather than the general one that would have woken everyone in the house up.
Finally, someone picked up. They breathed into the received heavily, exhaustedly.
"Hey, man," Yamcha was nearly yelling into the phone. "Did you hear the good news? Chi-Chi's pregnant! Yeah, Goku left a present behind, hah. It's awesome. Already thinking of names. Wonder if it's a girl or a boy.
"And Piccolo's over there, helping. Man, you should have seen him with this doll that Chi-Chi bought to practice putting diapers on. Hilarious.
"…Dude?"
"What the hell are you doing, calling up in the middle of the night— A pause as they evaluated the exact time. "Midnight. Fine. It's still too goddamn late."
Yamcha's voice was a horrified croak. "…Juuhachigou?"
The click of the phone being set down was all the answer he needed.
204. If I could change one thing about that day
"Well. I did appreciate the kiss, don't get me wrong, Juu. But it might have been nice if you hadn't beaten the hell out of my friends."
205. #1 Fan
She understood that she was broken when she left the theater for the second time that day, the ninth time this week, with a headache swirling behind the sunglasses, and went to call her agent and demand that a part in the next film starring a certain actor be found. Bulma was rather shocked, not entirely believing her excuses.
206. This Isn't My Bed
Juuhachigou took in the vision of spiky black hair besides her, and felt her heart drop to her stomach and boil there from the acids.
Who did she know that had hair like that? Why had she had so many drinks at the bar? Who the hell's bed was she in? What had happened last night? Why could she remember so little?
Dangerous questions, but they had to be answered.
Black spiky hair.
It was a small man, curled away from her under the sheets and not making a sure and this brought both relief and fear. He couldn't be much larger than her across the chest, and was maybe a couple of inches shorter. Maybe? And it was a man, from the way he might mumble a disjointed word in a low voice she couldn't quite hear fully.
Black spiky hair on a short man.
"Oh please god no."
Finally, feeling her gorge rise, Juuhachigou pulled back the comforter and sheet. Her eyes were narrowed, and she looked at her bedmate through her eyelash, as though in protection for what she might find.
Black spiky hair on a short man with no nose.
"Oh, thank god."
Had anyone ever been so happy to be sharing a bed with Krillin? Could she have ever known she would be so happy being in bed with him?
Juuhachigou nearly hugged him. As terrible as sharing a bed with the small human was and what it might mean, it wasn't Vegeta.
She touched his back with a white delicate hand, nearly stroking it fondly. Later, she would rip him from his warm sleep, shaking him until he screamed for help, demanding to know in a low growl what had happened, what did he do to her. But now, she touched his warm back, almost cooing at him in relief and happiness and joy and something not unlike love.
At least it wasn't Vegeta.
207. "I could never take another's hand; it's to you I'm condemned."
They sighed, together, and lowered themselves into their chairs on either side of the table.
"You neither, huh?"
Krillin looked into his coffee for answers. Cheeks ballooning out before his hissed out air. "Nope. You know I came home alone, as you were waiting here before I was."
"Was there just no one—"
"Oh. There were a few girls. Sure."
"Are you sure that they were staring at you, in the—look, were you dancing?"
"No. Stop it. No, there were girls there that did not vomit upon seeing me, Juuhachigou. I—they just didn't compare to you, okay?"
"No, it's not okay."
"Didn't see any guy sneaking from your room." Like he'd used to.
"All the guys there," her voice was so sad. "They were just annoying, boring. Tall, sure. But not one of them said a single interesting word."
Of course, Krillin had to at least try to shoot himself in the foot. "You were at a club. How could you even talk?"
"I knew. They were wearing those stupid polka shell necklaces and had spray on tans. They were morons. With better cheekbones, but worse abs."
"Ah." Flattering. "You don't give anyone a chance. Not that I want you to. Despite the words that we exchanged last week. I'm sorry for that."
She ignored that. "This break thing just isn't working."
"The denial thing is the part that's failing us," he corrected.
Her eyes flickered, thinking on something. The crossroads they were at.
"Okay. We're not going to find anyone like that other. And since apparently we—you know—that's bad."
"So." Krillin leaned back in his chair and went back to inspecting his drink. "We're dating now?"
208. Gravity is a cruel mistress indeed.
All she could do was try not to scream curses at her brother and his very existence as the pressure on her back shoved her forward and into Krillin to tumble down the stairs.
209. Woke Up New
Juuhachigou came to consciousness with a start that made all the humans nearby scream. She looked little less frightened then them. The sight of she and him was even odder when she was conscious. Krillin holding her like a husband might carry his bride, loving and protective, and her deeply asleep and his utter opposite in looks.
"Juuhachigou? Are you okay?"
The android looked at him, so shocked that for a second Krillin wondered if she'd lost her memories somehow. "What? Krillin? What happened?" Then her eyes widened further, as she shoved him away hard enough to bring forth an 'ooof.'
"Um. Cell and Gohan are fighting." Tien tried to fill in while Yamcha clenched his jaw and Krillin rubbed his chest.
"What? Gohan?"
While Krillin was looking puppy-dog hopeful with adoration that filled in exactly why he hadn't used that controller, Yamcha nearly glared at her. "Yeah. He got super strong."
She did not look assured as she turned her head, and took in the huge battle taking place in front of her. All furrowed brows and biting her lip, like any normal human being would be before this. Just like the rest of them, when she ground shook, she was understandably alarmed.
The android was turning to the men, looking furious. Jaw set like the rest of them. "Is—is there anything we can do?"
Krillin did his best to hide his delight, his smugness over her reply from his friend, because right now in this life-or-death situation, that wouldn't be appreciated. Instead, he focused on being by her side as they tried to help Gohan save the day.
210. Remember that time when your friends were on the news…?
"Holy Dende."
"I've met him. Didn't think he was all that good."
"Look at the TV!"
"What—is that Vegeta?"
"Vegeta. Vegeta's on the news."
"Well, that's what happens when you try to blow up a major building full of people."
"Probably all a misunderstanding."
"Sure, Krillin. Sure."
"Vegeta's not that bad-Oh, no. The cops are there."
211. We were just friends
This was definitely not how she wanted to have Krillin discover that she really, really, homicidally hated and despised his girlfriend. To be caught, clearly illuminated in the glow of a porch light, with her brother who ran around still, still throwing toilet paper onto the girl's house and trees and shrubbery. Her in front of the girl's (who, despite what Bulma and Juunanagou claimed, was not her nemesis) car, the engine exposed since she had popped the hood, a flashlight in her teeth as she tried to remember what Juurokugou had said about…well, okay. This was just awful.
She was awful. Worse, really, than Krillin's girlfriend. At least that moron had never been going for someone's brake lines with the plan to sheer them down, just a little. A little. Enough to get her into a small car accident. Not like there were even a huge bunch of hills around here anyway.
But still. The flashlight's casing tasted like shame in her mouth.
Krillin was still staring at her, trying to comprehend the sight.
There had just been something about that girl that set her off. The obnoxious laugh and spoiled behavior and how she hogged Krillin's attention and time, who really needed to instead by studying and not running around with idiotic females who flirted with everyone in sight. She was the type of girl who pissed other women off not out of jealousy, but just for her hateful attitude and disrespectful remarks. This girl who supposedly had Krillin's heart in a bag somewhere in her over-priced purse and refused to believe first of all that Juuhachigou was not a natural blonde, and second that she and Krillin had once had some sort of 'relationship.' Glaring at the blonde whose hair did not come from a bottle, pulling in Krillin close and giving him a big kiss to rub in her ownership.
Krillin…Krillin could just do so much better. Yet he refused to see it. And his friends were all cowards, throwing their hands up and saying that 'whatever made Krillin happy.' Like this Maron girl was the best he could do, and that she…as far as Juuhachigou could tell, didn't make him all that happy. Sure, he smiled and giggled over the kissing, blushed over the flirting, took her out way too much to expensive restaurants and to the mall for more clothes with an eager smile, but none of that meant he was happy. Only her brother had agreed with her sentiment.
Oh god, her twin brother had agreed with her. That right there should have been a warning sign telling her that this was a huge disaster.
How he'd nodded, blowing out a puff of smoke that would have normally made her sneer and instead eagerly had her trying to get a second-hand high from. He'd been all self-righteous. "How dare he dump you for that stupid blue-haired girl! Not even the smart blue-haired girl. The dumb one."
"We weren't going out! At any time!"
"That guy's a real douche. So, are we going to key his car?"
"No. We're going to key her car."
"Right on. Now, where are the van keys?"
"On the table. By your foot, Juunanagou! I think I'll drive, this time."
"Okay, sure. Now, let's go stop off at the store for supplies. Going to need lots and lots of toilet paper to TP the place. And a garbage can. And garbage. And water. Oh, water balloons. And paint."
In the harsh yellow light, she saw herself in her cleverly dark but not black clothes that intruders wore, the toilet paper hanging like streamers, her brother running around like a sugar-stuffed five year old, whooping in delight over another good throw, with a nail file and an electric wire in her hand.
She slammed down the hood. "Hi, there, Krillin." Her toneless voice surprised even herself.
"What, what are you doing here?"
"Trying to see you. I guess." Juuhachigou inspected the nail file. "I don't really know."
"Are you, uh, trying to sabotage Maron's car?"
"Yes. I think that's a pretty apt description of what I'm doing."
"…why?"
He was wearing that stupid yellow sweater. For a second, she positively despised him. As much as his air-headed girlfriend. They deserved each other. That bastard. Like her brother said. How dare he dump—no, no. They had never been going out. It was her brother, after all, and he was an idiot who always jumped to stupid conclusions. He had the right to date anyone he wanted and she couldn't hate him for exercising that fact. And if she was threatened, it was because she was losing, losing time, with a good friend. This is what couples did, enclosed themselves inside a warm womb of each other—remember, you didn't see Chi-Chi and Goku for four months.
Even if it was a late hour and that meant that Krillin might be staying the night and-
Oh god
She pounded on the hood.
"Hey. Hey. Asshole." And now her brother was coming over. Carrying a heavy-looking water balloon. "This is what you get for dumping my sister! You don't get to do that! So what if she's controlling and manipulative and a real bummer to be around sometimes. You don't get to hurt her!"
"Juun—"
She was forced to watch the wobbling balloon go flying squishily through the air to hit Krillin and drive him back against the door. He looked like he'd been shot. Especially since the paint had been a bright painful red.
He blinked at them both.
Her brother was sniffing, wiping his hands on his jeans. "Especially for the dumb blue-haired one. Now, let's get out of here, Juuhachigou."
212. A short introduction
"Um. My name's Krillin.
"Nice room. Very…The receptionist said for me to come here. To this room. This is the right room, right?
"Here's my resume. Um. Is this the right time?
"And is this the job for—"
"Sit down Krillin."
213. Snow
She'd never thought he'd look even alright in red. Normally he wore blue or white or hideous purple or the infamous orange gi.
But now, clad in a red suit line in white fur, she noticed the color made him look not so pale.
She stared at him for a long time.
Despite what some of the others thought (which was actually rather hypocritical of them since Vegeta had thought a dradel was one of Bulma's tools the first time he'd seen one), she was aware of some of earth's holidays. They were always bizarre and full of nonsense, and obviously aimed for children.
His words were slightly muffled by the ridiculous beard. "I'm supposed to be Santa, Juuhachi."
"I know." They looked at each other for a moment longer. "Why?"
"Well, Trunks and Goten should have a Santa, and this year Bulma's dad was getting hip surgery done, so I decided to don the suit."
"You're far too short and thin to be Santa Clause."
"But I have a twinkle in my eye."
She wanted to grab a handful of his beard, pull it back until the elastic was taut, and release it. She could hear his cry of pain already, and wondered if she herself had a twinkle in her eye of delight.
Krillin smiled in return, and hefted the back a little higher on his shoulder.
"Do you want to help give out the presents? Come on, you can be my helper." His grin turned teasing. "An elf."
So far, it hadn't been too bad. Sure, a lot of them had gotten hammered on eggnog, and there was mistletoe everywhere and always much too close to the old pervert. But no one had challenged her to a fight, or openly insulted her. Plus she had an excuse to buy that nice red and black plaid skirt that went well with a pair of black tights and her new white blouse.
The short man, who obviously would have made a better elf than her, scrutinized her face. "You do look a little like an elf."
"You're the short one."
"I could fit the Kebler elf bill. But you look like those elves from the fantasy novels and movies."
She was often up all night, and with little else to do but watch late night television. Often, they showed terrible movies that were only marginally better than the infomercials on the other channels. So she was well aware of what he was talking about. "With the tin swords and perfectly groomed hair despite running around in the forest all day?" She was okay with the nice skin and hair; she could accept that. "I don't have pointy ears."
Simultaneously, they said to each other, "Piccolo should be the elf."
She ended up helping handout the presents. Which, despite Krillin's fancy costume, was a letdown to witness. Infants were not able to open wrapping, something which the adults in the room seemed to have forgotten. But they were all still smiling, helping and egging on the babies to open their presents. She and Krillin passed out the rest of the gifts, and Juuhachigou did her best to ignore the other's little smirks and nudges to each other over 'Santa's Little Helper'.
Revenge was brought when Yamcha dropped his gift to Bulma, and there was a tinkle of broken glass and the scientist's cursing.
Stories filled the homey setting and drove the comfortable feeling were all feeling. "Oh, and remember when Vegeta set fire to Capsule Corp, and Piccolo had to drive Goku to the hospital?"
"And Goku was wearing the horse outfit? And Vegeta was dressed as a cowboy? And there were comments made since their wives didn't come with them. "
"Man, that was a weird Christmas."
After the last of the shiny wrapping was torn off, and a bit more of the wine was drunk, and more stories of previous Christmases told, people began drifting out of the room. The kids took another yank at Krillin's beard, giggling,
Finally, Vegeta, still grumbling about his gift of pajamas with little puppies on them, got up to leave. As did Bulma, with a wink in Krillin's direction and a warning to 'have a good night you two, just make sure to keep it down so the kids can sleep,' leaving Juuhachigou and Krillin alone.
Juuhachigou also finally stopped glaring at the direction the blue-haired woman had gone. He gave her a small, embarrassed smile.
"Just ignore her."
"I know; she's insane."
"Right."
"Look at who she married."
"So…I bought you something."
"You shouldn't have." Her voice was devoid of playfulness.
He pulled out a jewelry box from his pocket. "Oh, it's nothing too big. In fact, you might not even like it. I ran completely out of ideas."
"Really?"
"There was zip in my head. I just wandered around the mall with a blank expression, blinking slowly at everything."
"And you settled on jewelry?"
"Girls like that, right?"
"Depends." She could see hearts on the jewelry without even opening it. Lots of them. Tacky. Desperate. "What did you get me exactly?"
"Just open it."
"Hmm, should I?"
"Please? That could be your gift to me."
"I didn't know I was expected to get you anything."
"I don't mean that—Look, I bought you something I thought you might like. A little. I don't know."
"Okay. Stop pouting. You look more pathetic than normal that way. At least smile a little bit. You look better happy.
"Okay. Not that big a smile.
"Stop grinning."
"Can't."
"Let's see. A bracelet? An anklet. Gold. Oh. With the numeral '18' on it." She flicked the number.
He nearly choked on his breath. "Uh-huh. Is that bad? Like, I don't know, buying you something with a red ribbon on it?"
"No, it's okay. Probably hard to explain to someone, but who cares?"
"Uh, just someone bought it for you on your eighteenth birthday?"
"I suppose. Why an anklet?"
"Well, um, you..." He was, strangely, sweating heavily. "I just wanted something different."
"Is that it?"
"Or um. I guess I thought it would look nice. On your leg. Because you have nice legs. Not that I really look at them. But I notice these things."
"I think you've had too much eggnog."
Krillin was pale and haunted by the idiocy of the things he was saying. Together, they decided to ignore that he'd only had little to drink. "Yeah. Maybe."
"Well. Thank you."
"You're welcome."
She patted one cheek, awkwardly, taking in how he lit up from the contact. "See. Much easier on the eyes with a smile."
"When it comes to you, everything makes me smile."
"I didn't get you any sort of present."
"My present was making you happy."
"That's kind of sad."
"Aww. It's okay. I didn't expect anything. It's not like I handed you a list."
"I suppose I could buy you an anklet with a chestnut on it. Or a turtle."
"That...well, I'd wear it so long as you wear yours."
"Say, Santa?"
"Err. What?"
"How come you're not attempting some disgusting flirting? Asking me 'have you been naughty or nice this year?'"
"I know the answer. I have that list and all; and I checked it several times."
"Where's my name?"
He shifted on the couch. "Oh, not sure. You do seem to mock that nice fighter you live with a whole lot..."
"So, good side, then? What, should I be grateful to him for letting me stay under his roof? The roof that isn't even his? The one he begged me to say under?"
"Bad. Definitely a bad girl."
"And where's he on the list?"
"Top of the good list."
"For what?"
"Heh, well, I'll have you know that he goes around saving people."
"When?"
"Even saved this one mean girl. Really mean. Who beat up his friend and gets into screaming matches, daily, with his dear old now-partially deaf Master."
"And what does he expect from this 'mean' girl?"
"Nothing. That's what makes him so awesome. He's good for the sake of being good."
"Not because he likes this girl? Not as an attempt to sleep with this woman?"
"Nope! Definitely not that. I think, from what I've heard from the elves, that he doesn't think about her in that way. Especially in that way."
"Sexually? You're saying he doesn't think about her sexually? Does he not find her attractive?"
"Santa is not feeling comfortable with this line of questioning."
"Does he?"
"Well, um, finding someone attractive doesn't mean sleeping, or attempting to sleep with them. You can admire someone's good-looks without imagining them in um, bed. With you. Purely chaste. Just being nice to someone doesn't mean you feel for them sexually."
"Mrs. Clause is a lucky woman."
"Er. Yes, she is. So's your roommate."
"The pig?"
"The handsome young man with the big, delightful smile."
Juuhachigou tucked hair out of her hairs. "Mm. Don't live with anyone like that."
"You sure?"
"Positive. If I did, I would know it."
"As in, you would like this handsome smiling man?"
"Sexually?"
"Um. Yes?"
"Depends. Is he a brunette?"
"Uh." Krillin was licking his lips, looking so faint she wanted to put a pillow under his head. "Yes?"
"Eh. I prefer red-heads."
"Oh. Oh."
"Maybe blondes? Dark hair reminds me of my horrible little twin brother."
"Oh. Sorry."
"You look so disappointed, Santa? Why ever so? You weren't having dishonorable thoughts that involved cheating on your wife?"
"No. I just thought that you might be interested in someone I know."
"Is he tall?"
"...no."
"An elf?"
"Let me get this down, you like tall red-heads?"
"Compared to short brunettes, yes. What? What's that look?"
"One of my helpers told me you use to travel with someone who fit that description."
"...what? Oh, screw you."
"Don't tell Santa to 'screw you.' That's going to get you coal in your stocking."
"Or some short guy in my bed, huh?"
He was still. "...I. I don't know what you're referring to. But you have something against short people. An undue prejudice."
"One that I should overcome by sleeping with a short brunette, huh?"
"Santa never said that."
"I think Santa needs to say what he's going to say, or get back on his sled, take his reindeer and shove off."
"Santa just worries about you. And these tall red-heads. They have a reputation for being mean, don't they? And freckles. Do you really like freckles?"
"Let me get this straight. You, Santa, are telling me to date some short guy with a big, hideous smile. This nice guy who looks out (and attempts to sleep with) girls with attitudes and a reasonable hatred towards old perverted hermits?"
"Not date. I just...nevermind. I take it back. Santa takes it back. No coal for you."
"Well, I don't know Santa. You're not talking this guy up. Why should I even think about him that way?"
"He's very nice."
"I thought he was doing kind things out of the pureness of his heart. Not as a selling point to get woman?"
"His heart isn't all that pure. It wavers. It's not made of the sternest stuff. Sometimes, he is weak. Very weak."
"Around woman in particular?"
He sighed. "Around mean beautiful woman in particular, yes. With a strange new interest in blondes."
"Ah."
"You're blushing."
"Shut up, Santa." Juuhachigou leaned in closer. "And this nice, weak guy with feelings for mean woman is datable why?"
"Um. You know. Not really sure too much on that myself."
"Hmmmm. Let's talk this out, Santa. Well, I guess he does have a nice smile, right?"
"Supposedly."
"And is he in good shape?"
"Yeah, sure. Guess so."
"And he cares an awful, awful amount for the mean girl?"
"Definitely so."
"Good taste in jewelry?"
"Arguable."
"Loyal to the point of stupidity?"
"Without question."
"Big dark eyes? Because I will admit to having a weakness for those."
"Eh. I guess you might say so. No nose though."
"Well, who needs those anyway? Cute laugh?"
"Not really."
"Good singer?"
"Awful."
"Well, I have to think this over, Santa."
"Take all the time you need." Krillin wasn't making any eye contact.
"I suppose you could give me his number. For a date. So long as he doesn't have actually pointy ears."
"Ah. Well. I guess he'll be glad to hear that."
"I guess I should thank you for telling me about him."
"Um."
"Any creepy Santa related come-ons?"
"Wanna sit in my lap?"
"There it is. You've been holding that one in, I can tell. Thankfully, nothing involving candy canes or mistletoe. So, how about you help me put this anklet on?"
"Sure. No problem. Fits like a glove. Now. About that mistletoe..."
"At least take off the beard first, Krillin."
214. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Sometimes, especially after a day around Krillin and his friends, she could almost believe she might one day feel regret over Gero and his death. Perhaps he could have been like Piccolo, and turned over a new leaf? Or even Vegeta, reluctantly good. Imagine if he'd been a different man.
But then she remembered the squeal of a drill, that sting of a needle that hurt because you knew what it meant, how light could be scarier than darkness. How they had flickered, those lights, or maybe her eyes and vision had.
He couldn't be dead enough.
214. I only made that mistake once
She tore the remote from his hands, ignoring his squeal. "This is what I should have done."
"Owww. Jeez. I was going to change the channel."
215. Fire
Although they'd put popcorn on the stove, and were definitely not the type to just forget about having something going in the kitchen, they got distracted on the couch. So they only noticed the fire by the time it was spreading to the living room and the smoke was filling the room.
Was it wrong that her first thought was simply to run away? Nor could it be great that her follow up thought was, goddamnit, they'll know what we were doing, we'll be caught, found out, goddamnit.
She blamed her brother for that, ultimately. While running out of the room, with Krillin, but not stopping at the ocean tide to help gather water.
216. Flexible
Juuhachigou had been staring at him for the past fifteen minutes, without blinking. Of course, he couldn't know that she wasn't actually blinking since he had to only give her short glances without her thinking that he was staring at her. But still, in the times that he'd looked over, she hadn't blinked.
Which only made it harder to stretch in front of her.
217. Just one kiss
Roshi turned down the TV just in time to hear Juuhachigou scream, "You only care so much because I was willing to kiss you!"
"…so!"
"You're so goddamn pathetic. This is why—just one damn kiss. That's all it was. It was to mock you, not a sign of actual affection!"
The ancient martial artists glanced at Oolong, and together they rolled their eyes. Time for the daily yelling arguments that were a new addition to Kame House. Like the wall Krillin had installed in his room to separate it into two smaller room, only with more violence. But with the same amount of uncomfortableness and tension for everyone. 'Are they really sharing a room?' 'Yes, but I think they're not really sharing a bed. Supposedly.' 'Isn't that how Bulma and Vegeta got together?'
"I know that, I do. But it doesn't matter. I feel how I feel. The cause doesn't matter."
"Yes it does!"
"Okay, so what? I like you, you think I'm pathetic? Yelling doesn't help either of us with these facts."
"Just stop feeling that way! Or acting out on it. You can do that much, can't you!"
"Why can't you be nicer? More understanding of how I feel?"
"So, I should humor you? Maybe make out with you a little, to make you feel better?"
"Sure—no, no. I take that back. That was an ill-timed joke. Let's both let it go."
"Disgusting."
"This is your fault. If you hadn't kissed me."
"It was meaningless. Utterly nothing of a gesture. Look, look, I can kiss me hand, doesn't make my hand fall in love with me!"
In the beginning, their little fights had been funny. To see them flirting in their own schoolyard way. The turtle hermit and Oolong had laughed when seeing her yank his hair and him shoving her off his side of the couch. That had been cute, in its own destructive way. But now they were drawing their knives out so often and throwing them with such aim that even Turtle would shove himself out to sea more, and the shape-shifting pig, as scared as he was of Juuhachigou, would hammer a fist against a wall and scream at them 'to just get it on, or to shut the hell up and left everyone else sleep.'
"Well, that hand is part of you. Can't really fall in love with yourself. Though you seem to try from all the time you spend in front of mirror."
"Shut up. At least I care how I look. Look at you; that terrible shirt. You could stop traffic in that shirt. Planes."
At least they weren't going over that damn broken remote controller, Krillin picking her up out of Cell's drool, or the time that Juuhachigou had walked in on him in the shower to everyone's chagrin and increasing pain, that time she'd ended up wearing his clothes as pajamas, the sleep-walking incidents, the goddamn dragonball wish Krillin had used for her, the comments her brother would make…
Oolong took out his earplugs, and Roshi turned up the TV when they began talking to each other.
"…regardless."
The android huffed. "So, what you're saying is, that I have a super power that makes people fall in love, from a kiss? This is your point."
"No, yes. A little. It depends."
"On what? How desperate they are?"
"Yes. Okay. I own up to that. Fine. I was desperate."
"Why are you using the past-tense?"
"I said fine. But I'm okay now. Really. Now that I know you better, I understand that we shouldn't be a couple. That the kiss was nothing."
She pushed her hair of her eyes, almost looking happy. "Finally. It really was just a kiss."
"I'm not longer the same naïve fool I was back then," Krillin assured her. She responded with a knowing smile.
"I'm not. If you kiss me now, I would feel nothing."
"Re-eeally?"
Half-deafened, the other two sitting across on the red couch had to watch her lean over and plant a long kiss on his cheek. The blonde head obscured all but half a flushed cheek. When she pulled away, Krillin was reaching up to grab one small wrist in his hand.
"Nothing?"
218. I guess this is good night
Juunanagou had to wretch open the window, cursing his own construction skill, as he heard his sister screaming her own obscenities. But what exactly what a moron octopus head weirdo bastard freak be doing on the front lawn?
He literally reached up to rub at his eyes, sure he was hallucinating the sight before him.
"You cannot be serious!" His sister howled.
Krillin was down there, brandishing a guitar. Already a small man, he seemed diminished by the instrument and from the blonde girl's screams that huddled his shoulders. He kept swallowing, like he was trying not to cry. "I thought you'd prefer it if I took more romantic approach. And musical.
"Especially since my friends aren't here to watch us.
"…you look cute in those pajamas!"
"Get away from my house, you psycho! How did you even find where I live? Why are you here in the middle of the night? Why did you think I'd prefer you with a guitar?"
"Um. Sorry? Did I wake you up?"
"You woke me up. The two of you." That finally got the little monk's attention.
They looked at each other.
"Hi."
"Hey."
A second passed before Juunanagou asked, "When did you learn to play guitar?"
"Last month."
"Oh. What were you going to sing?"
"Um. 'They Long to Be Closer To You'?"
The dark-haired teenager scratched his chin. "That's nice. A classic. Though, Juuhachigou hates birds…"
"Oh." Krillin twisted the guitar strap, trying not to shuffle his feet. "I didn't know that."
"What is wrong with you two?" Juuhachigou hissed, mostly rhetorical. "I'm going to bed."
She gave them both a disgusted look, before slamming down the window hard enough to make the entire house shake and the glass to crack. They waited until her stomping away had ended.
"You know," Juunanagou told the pale-faced monk. "I was thinking of learning saxophone."
"Oh."
"So you wanna start a band?"
220. I'll be A Monkey's Uncle
"Since you're married to Krillin," Chi-Chi told her, over the babbling of the child. "I guess that means you're kind of the god-mother to Goten."
She nearly dropped the kid. "What?"
The Son widow shrugged, much too at ease over this bundle of horror and infant she'd tossed at Juuhachigou. "Bulma wants to be the godmother, but, well, since you and Krillin are together, and he's the godfather, then shouldn't you be the godmother?"
Maybe if she really did drop Goten, she could get out of that responsibility. For a moment, the cyborg saw treacherous roads and tires with no traction, blood clots, small puddles on slippery linoleum, grapes in grocery stores. While the baby with the ridiculous hairstyle grabbed at her face. This son of her arguable enemy. "I—that's really not…"
There were about a million reasons why she shouldn't have responsibility of this tiny squirming human.
She had to pull the blonde stands out of the tiny, pudgy, surprisingly strong fists. Look at the bright black eyes that gazed up, without fear. Too young to know any better. "Oh. Alright."
221. And how long will you stare before I look away?
Juuhachigou walked into his room, wearing a robe and a look of such calmness that behind his easel, Krillin had to smile. All that grace in the light of discomfort. She still had such mixed feelings about him that her being here, and being actually willing to model for him was touching. Just one comment about wanted to draw a picture of her, and she'd, if reluctantly, went along with it. Maybe she did actually like him, a little bit. If only as friends. He gave her an encouraging smile.
She took off the robe.
Krillin took one glance, and then turned back to him sheet of white paper. He looked very closely at his hands, and noted that they seemed real enough. The entire room looked realistic, especially the naked, increasingly angry woman on his bed.
You know, it was that funny smelling fish from last night, Krillin decided. Must have gone bad. Now I'm sick and hallucinating, boy, I hope Juuhachigou doesn't find out about this. Like the last time I had Bulma's sushi and Master Roshi found me on the roof, trying to dance with the weathervane.
"What's wrong?" Her voice was rising. "Are you okay?" The undercurrent of nervousness in her voice obviously asking, 'am I okay?'
You're absolutely lovely, and the most perfect thing I've ever laid eyes on me. Never clean that comforter again. "Just trying to…get things in order." Why are you naked, Juuhachigou?
When he gathered enough courage to glance at her, peeking through his eyelashes, the blonde woman was biting her lower lip, and shifting. A sight that took ten years off his life. It definitely appeared real. Insane, yes, but actually taking place in a place outside of his head. She looked nice on his bed, leaning back on her arms, gaze focused downward.
He looked at the supplies before him, and realized the pink was too dark. 'I didn't mean a nude picture, Juuhachigou.' Yet, to say such a thing might spook her and send her running out the door. Thank Kami and Dende and Piccolo that they were the only people in the house, and the door was closed.
"Okay. So. Just going to get started here."
"Should I be in a particular position…?"
Krillin rubbed an eye and part of his forehead, wanting nothing more than to jam a pencil into a socket. Then he was pulling at his lower lip, terrified of looking, unable not to. "Whatever you feel most comfortable with."
"Alright. Say, after this-?"
"Huh?" There was no after this. He'd died, and this was a heaven given to those who had helped literally save the world many times over.
Juuhachigou looked like an angel, only confirming Krillin's theory. "Can I try drawing a picture of you?"
222. "It's what he would have wanted."
"Do you ever feel uncomfortable being so close to me?"
"Huh? Well, your elbows are a little bony."
"I meant, don't you ever feel upset about being with someone who tried to kill your best friend?"
"No," Krillin shrugged. "Goku would have wanted me to forgive you. If he could, from beyond the grave, he would give us a blessing.
"In fact," he said, warming up to two of his favorite subject: his relationship with Juuhachigou, and his relationship with Goku. "He'd completely support us. Would love that I finally found a nice—well, relatively nice girl.
"Probably give me advice on being in a relationship. Would want to go on double-dates with us."
Juuhachigou decided to cut him off before he grew too deep into his fantasy. That usually led to her having to spend a day with his friends, or having to keep his disgusting 'master' from trying to touch her, or watching her brother and Krillin get along disturbingly, upsettlingly well, or a an activity to do when they were relatively alone that might result in broken bedframe and/or something new and pleasant to do from now. "I'm so glad we have your dead best friend's approval."
223. take one for the team
Yamcha spent the evening, brooding, and going over elaborate scenarios. Occasionally, to make the scene ever more bizarre, Vegeta would nod and add in another detail. After an hour, both fighters wanted to gather pitchforks and torches. It fell to Krillin to try and calm the hysteria. "The androids aren't that bad!"
"They could go on a killing spree, and we wouldn't even be able to stop them on time. Since we can't even feel their ki!"
"Look. I can keep an eye on her."
"Yeah." Vegeta grunted. "We all know you want to keep more than that on her."
"H-hey, that's not fair. Really, it's not like that. I'm just being nice. She doesn't deserve to die. Hell, she hasn't hurt anyone.
"I'm sure of it. I bet Juuhachigou's sweet, deep down.
"We should try to find them, but to help them. Teach them how to be good people. How to be normal. What to do, to be normal."
At their snickers, Krillin felt a flush rising up his cheeks. Thankfully, Juuhachigou wasn't here to hear all their comments.
"Oh, shut up, the both of you dated Bulma!"
224. I promise to be home before the children wake
Krillin pulled her close, lost in the romance of the season. The Christmas cookies just slightly burnt, the smells of plastic and old pine tree and the attic that he could almost imagine. He imagined himself as some hero again, running out to save the innocent masses. Right after he gave his girl a goodbye kiss, desperate and sloppy with emotion.
Eventually, Juuhachigou shoved him away. "Just go get the damn doll Marron wants so much before she wakes up."
225. "A mental eraser would come in handy right about now."
Juunanagou fled into the night, screaming, wordlessly. The right thing to do was gather their clothes, leave the hatchback of the car, and find him. Even if he'd been a stranger, it would have been the polite thing to do. Let alone the twin brother of his almost-maybe girlfriend, who'd seen something no brother should have to witness of his sister.
And really, who would be crazy about their sibling dating Krillin? In general. Even if he wasn't one of the fighter they'd beaten into dirt. Not that they'd beaten him up, but still. The principle. Plus, he was friends with the guy they'd been programmed to kill.
Krillin swallowed and was grateful just to be alive for a few seconds.
Juuhachigou shifted to move more of the blanket over them. "Weirdo. He didn't even see anything."