Author's Notes: Thanks for reviews/messages/favoring this story.
Inspired by Dragonball Z Episode 22: In Which Two Bald Creatures Misinterpret a Kiss as More, but Only One Nearly Destroys the World Because Of It.
"I just want someone to call me pretty and take me to Taco Bell." –A girl on my local news.
251. The Last Thing I Remember
He understood that he did indeed had progressed past the 'crush' stage when he found himself doing what Goku had done with Chi-Chi, and running straight through traffic to see her. Yelling her name, heart in a flurry of delight as she paused and turned around, mouth falling open, hair falling in a golden curtain across an eye. In a similar vein to what Vegeta had done, and shoved Bulma out onto the freeway, only at the last second to reach out and stop her from being smeared against the median.
Only unlike those cases, they managed to dodge the vehicles. Krillin didn't even get to limply, lamely, waved and say hello as his tall bruised and breatheless best friend had done to a horrified Chi-Chi, whose response had been to slowly move her hands from her mouth and wave back. ("Hi, Chi!")
Or scream obscenities, then burst into confused tears, "I almost died right now! And you didn't kill me! You bastard—how dare you try to murder me!"
Instead, all he experienced was a huge push from his right side that sent him spinning around, feet briefly leaving the ground, not even hearing the thump he'd made, the dent against the roof. His head hit the asphalt hard enough to bring stars to actual erupt in his dazed eyes, hard enough to scrape inches of skin from his skull and from his shoulder to forearm.
But until the paramedics arrived, and the shock wore off, and he understood what had happened fully, before the blacking out and sobbing helplessly as the pain swallowed him, Krillin's last memory was of Juuhachigou pulling his head into her lap and brushes his cheek with one slim thumb. An angel haloed by the traffic light hanging overhead.
"Krillin? Krillin? Say something—are you still conscious?"
252. Finding Out
Bulma choked on her iced tea. Her eyes were blank with shock. Slowly, she lowered her glass and looked to her friend for an explanation.
"You have to promise not to tell anyone. Not one person! Please!"
The blue-haired scientist stared at Krillin's pleading, pale face. At the tears gathering in the corner's of his eyes. At his quivering lips and shaking hands. Behind him, the clock read, one forty five. Over the smell of vanilla chai, there was Krillin's desperation filling her nose. "I won't."
By two o' clock, Chi-Chi found out, and immediately felt even more disgusted on top of the morning sickness. She swore not to tell anyone at two ten.
By two o clock and fifteen seconds, Gohan found out as he heard his mother yelling through the walls over how insane Krillin was.
By three, Yamcha knew, and promised to help Krillin, and to keep his trap shut. Which he did, until he ran into Juuhachigou at four in the afternoon, at the mall. Then he hurried home to call one of his friends.
By five thirty, Tien and Launch knew, and 'that was nice, we need more couples to spend time with', and after a sneeze, 'was that the android you got hurt protectin'?' Tien, and half of Launch agreed not to tell anyone, but the other Launch was the one to answer the phone.
By six thirteen, Krillin tried to explain to Yamcha that 'yes, I am okay and no, I am not lonely, and yes, I know that Juuhachigou is an android, actually she's a cyborg, but I don't care, and how the hell did you find out? Oh god, you found out from whom? And you told who? Do you think she knows…Could they have talked to her, since she's in public?'
By eight thirty, finally panicked, he called her house and 'screaming, crying into the receiver that I'm sorry, it was a mistake to tell anyone, but I love you and I'm just glad you know, that you finally know how I feel.' Followed by more sobbing and pleading, for his life, for her heart.
By eight thirty three he finally heard someone respond, 'Uh, you know this is Juunanagou, right?'
By eight thirty four, Juunanagou stormed into her room, demanding to know what the hell was going on with her and that hideous shrimp, did she know that he was in love with her?
253. The last time you were left breathless
The old wise hermit understood that he had to say something, to one or both of them, in private perhaps, about their behavior. Aside from the broken furniture, and he winced as they knocked over a lamp, it was cruel of her to lead him on this way. Krillin was attached to her, had pleaded her case whenever she came over, was determined to be kind and friendly to her in hopes of winning her heart. And these daily wrestling sessions couldn't be helping.
As usual, the android had him in a one-armed headlock, and was applying the knuckles of her free hand against his neck. His cry that her hands were freezing only made a laugh appear on that increasingly flushed face. The fingers pulling at her own were much too weak to be affective. They were just about to start rolling around on the floor and pinning each other and knocking the couch over.
"You're suffocating me! And your hair tickles!"
"Then get out. What, I thought you were a fighter?"
Obviously, this couldn't continue.
For Krillin's own good.
Still, Master Roshi almost smiled at the sight of them. Krillin's joy came in such fleeting gasps since Goku's death. And he'd never before had he seen Juuhachigou so happy than when she was shoving Krillin's face into the carpet.
254. That's when I knew
"So what you're saying is, you liked me...because I was scared."
"Oh. It wasn't like that."
"Then what was it?"
"Okay. Yes, it was sort of that. You just looked so scared, and it was you. You know. The scary, bad-ass android that beat up Vegeta and was supposed to kill us all.
"And you looked frightened of Cell.
"It really just highlighted that you were normal and human and...
"Salvageable?"
"I didn't say that word."
"You were thinking it."
"I was not!
"Look. You were so freaked out and worried."
"And that did it for you?"
"No! I, uh. It just made me sympathetic. It was the final straw."
She brushed hair out of her eyes. "For you to be the 'hero'?"
"I...you make things so difficult. That was the moment I knew I couldn't press the controller. And that, well, you know."
"Yes. Unfortunately."
"Right then. Looking at you behind a rock and holding a remote control to shut you down."
"Creeping up behind me, all sweaty and nervous, hoping to turn me off without having to fight me. Since we both knew even then you'd lose."
"Oh, I knew right from the start I'd lose to you-"
"Don't."
"-My heart."
"Stop."
"From that moment on, I was helpless before you."
"Before that, really."
"You owned me completely and utterly. Couldn't even fight it. Emotionally speaking.
"Physically, I tried bashing my head to get you out. Tried to talk Bulma into shocking me with one of her machines. Talked to Goku a lot, like he was my therapist...which definitely didn't help. Vegeta even smacked my head, and all I got was a concussion and a chance to sit around and think about you."
"That explains a few things."
"But at that moment, I knew you'd won me over and that I couldn't hurt you. Except for when I attempt to sing to you. For which I will not apologize for."
"..."
"And for you?"
"Ugh. I hate this sharing crap."
"You didn't mind sharing a few things a moment ago."
"Shut up. Don't even say something like that, alone. Don't even think it."
"So?" He cringed a little, trying to hide a grin.
"I...fine. God. When I saw you, I thought you were some weirdo. The shrimpy bald hero. Goku's best friend who couldn't get a date to save his life. And," Juuhachigou almost literally had to choke the words out.
"And that, for a bald weak shrimp, I guess. Well. You were hideous. But, bizarrely, a cute one. I don't know." The blonde woman looked around the brightening bedroom, filling with the soft fuzzy glow of dawn. Staring around the sheets and pillows like she'd never seen such things.
"I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Nothing! Absolutely nothing. You're just a sophisticated woman with good, unique taste."
"'Unique.' Sure. Nice way to put it."
"Hey, if there's one person who agrees with your taste in guys, it's me."
"Ughh. I can't explain it. It went against all rational. But I wanted to tease the weird, strange little man who didn't even try to fight but talked to my brother. As though that ever worked.
"So I..." She seemed unable to go on.
"Ultimately, though, you came to embrace this decision."
"At the time, I mostly dismissed it. I thought, well, you just were awoken by a crazy literal mad-scientist. Disorientation. I couldn't be held accountable for those ideas.
"But then, I thought about you a bit when we were out looking for Goku."
"Like, 'when am I going to see that attractive short guy'?"
"Mostly, oh god. What you were doing, how I might...well, I'd prefer to not discuss it."
"To do what we just did?"
"I'm not going to answer that."
"So I guess you were the one trying to creep up on me. I had absolutely no idea you felt that way."
"..."
"Just tell me, did these thoughts consist of us alone?"
"Yes. Except, occasionally, for Goku's body."
"Ew. What? Jeez, Juuhachigou."
"I never said I enjoyed those ideas!"
"Okay, Goku's dead, body in or out of the scene, and it's just us, and what? You're comforting me over his death?"
"More like blackmailing, to be honest. Threatening."
"Mm. Alright. To the victor go the spoils, I guess. Did it involve you grabbing me and telling me to be quiet?"
"Maybe."
"No wonder that move look so practiced."
"Why are you dragging up all these bad memories?"
"How bad could they be? What was just done in reality was much worse."
"I agree."
"Although, that thing with Goku's body is kinda disturbing. Anyway. Hey. Don't look so defeated. It's not like a fight. It was, shockingly, mutual. If anything, really, your side of it was more lopsided. Have I told you lately how perfect you are?"
"Just shut up. Like you weren't crying in joy."
"Sure. But apparently I wasn't the only one who'd been thinking about that. Just amazing."
"Stop gushing."
"I'm going to be an adult and not make a joke there. Say, I thought girls like it when guys talked about them?"
"I don't like this entire conversation."
"Soooo...when exactly did you start, you know, feeling strongly for me?"
"I don't know. It was a gradual change. Like leprosy."
"For me it was spontaneous. I thought you were pretty right off the bat too, though."
"This is why I wish you kept your mouth shut."
"At all times?"
"Yes. Unless told otherwise. What, why are you looking at me that way?"
"You're so, just so much more—I can't find the word without pissing you off. Passionate. Amazing. It's like, it's like thinking the sun's a little warm and then getting close to it and realizing how hot it really is, and melting."
"You're giddy. That grin. Do you even realize you're grinning?"
"You're just so much more than I dreamed."
"How you're grinning?"
"I want to run around the house screaming. I can't even stop talking. Or smiling. You're so perfect, any flaws only make you more so."
"What flaws? I told you, I didn't like thinking about Goku's body being in the background. It just was there and there was nothing I could do about it."
"Why did we wait so long? As soon as we saw each other, we should have just ran off together."
"Oh god. It would have been worth it just to see my brother's expression."
"Don't forget about Vegeta's reaction. Awwww, you look so pretty smiling."
"Stop grinning like that."
"Or what?"
"Mmm, I though you wanted to have some deep conversation. Not that I mind the more interesting turn. In the conversation. Um."
"So, you're very easy to distract. That's nice to know."
"Well, so long as it gets us out of talking."
"I can just smile at you when you start yelling."
"That thing on your face is not a smile. It's somewhere between a smirk and leer."
"I can't explain it besides that I'm so happy. This feeling of unspeakable joy. I need a fancy word for it. Luminescence. Like blindfolds being raised, huge weight's been lifted off my back."
"That weight is years, and then several direct months of built-up sexual tension."
"Hah! So you admit that there was tension. Good tension."
"You look like a cat that's about to pounce." Juuhachigou's voice was clear and detached. "After having slept with you, I'm seeing things in a whole new light. I think I got all that out of my system."
"Eeehh. Permanently?"
"I don't know. Maybe every few months?"
"Like a camel?"
"Hah. Maybe?"
"Oh. Oh god."
"Hmm. There goes that smile. Come here. Right here. Like that. Mmm, that statement from before might have been a premature."
"Again, being a respectable adult here."
"Okay, if it gets you from making bad off-color jokes, I'll tell you when I realized I was in love with you. You can lean against me; I don't mind.
"I don't remember the exact moment I started to care that much for you. Or even when I liked you. Definitely not when I heard about your crush. Or when you made that wish.
"That just made me curious as to what I was dealing with. But when I started like you...? I think that was when I came home, when I lived with my brother permanently, and you were there, fixing the roof. All stained in tar and only wearing shorts and those stupid boat shoes."
"I don't remember that very well. I think I blocked most of it out. But still, I can't remember having any deep talks with you."
"And you barely noticed me. You were so busy spreading tar, as though it were the most important thing in the world. All I got was a nod. But the entire reason you were there was because of me. In fact, the entire reason you were helping my brother fix that place up was to get closer to me."
"That, and I felt sorry for him, living like that. You couldn't just leave a person in that place."
"But, the point is, you were so serious and self-important. I can't explain it. The way you didn't hang around me like a puppy. Plus, being shirtless I will admit helped."
"That's when you started like me? Not me bringing flowers and making dinner and constantly refreshing your drink? Carrying your groceries. Hell, buying you groceries? Doing the laundry? When I would read to you and your brother?"
"Sorry to disappoint you. I wanted to go up there and distract you, maybe change into something that would make you drop that bucket of hot tar all over yourself. And simultaneously, really wished you weren't there. I went inside feeling all sick and hating us both."
"Hehe, I understand."
"I still hate us both, a little. We're both just so disgustingly weak."
"Nice weak though, at first. Inside. Things all watery and refracted. But then just being around you makes me stronger. When Cell was trying to hurt you-"
"You got stupid."
"I couldn't stand the thought of him hurting you."
"Didn't help." She sighed. "But I guess when I realized I, ugh, that word."
"Love?"
"Yes. That one. Stop smirking."
"I know this isn't easy for you."
"Keep quiet while I finish answering your stupid question. It was when you were done taking care of Gohan and Goten, and Chi-Chi was there picking them up. I was sitting on the couch, watching TV and hearing you say goodbye, and-
"I can't even remember the exact words you were saying to her or her children. But it just popped into my head that I was listening to the man I loved. Something exactly like that, with the television remote in my hand, on that stupid couch, going 'that's the sound of the man I'm in love with.'"
Krillin seemed unable to not jump at her using that word. Referring to him as 'the man she loved' stunned him more than any of Vegeta's punches could.
"It wasn't even angry. Falling in love with someone who sounded like that. I didn't even understand what I was thinking for something like ten second. It was just a thought I couldn't control. Like Goku's dead body being in the background of some fucked up sexual imagery.
"Then I nearly threw up. I wanted to run away and go back to my brother. Or live alone. But it was too. I couldn't just leave. It was like you made some trap that didn't involve walls. There was nothing I could escape from. It was internal, like a virus."
"And there was no way to act out on how I felt. I just had to walk around with that in my head, unable to talk to someone. Really. Who was I going to talk to? Oolong? The old man? My brother?"
"I guess the other women. And me?"
"Bulma? God, she would immediately tell you. Or come over and find a way to lock us into a closet together. And I can't imagine Chi-Chi's reaction. Either she would start screaming and tell me to stay away from you, or just smile and wish me luck. Neither of those two would have any advice. I would have been better off talking to Vegeta. At least he might say I should just corner and pin you down.
"Telling you...that never really occurred to me. I wanted to just wait it out until it passed."
"Until last night?"
"The two of them were gone for most of the evening. It was a pleasant night. You were being extra nice. The weather wasn't being terrible. Dinner was good and the way you licked whipped cream from your finger seemed to be a signal. There was nothing to watch except porn. I don't know. I took it as a sign to just get it over with. The blindfold and the weight on my own back were getting bad.
"Maybe it was all the porn, actually. That stuff doesn't help."
"No, it doesn't."
"Let's blame the porn."
255. Random
Master Roshi heard Marron's giggling, the rush of ki, Krillin's loud breathing. His pupil dropped his tow-headed daughter, sweaty and disheveled. "Havetogo. Juuhachigoufightingmonster. WatchMarron. Thanks!"
"What? What's going on!" the turtle hermit yelled at the diminishing red-black figure that fled back westward.
256. lying in ditches.
He woke up with a face full of dirt, and spent five minutes just blinking up at the blazing sun and blue sky. It took a little while to realize he was missing his shirt, the one he'd set out the evening with. And his pants were different. Juuhachigou was going to be so confused when he came home.
After Krillin managed to get to his feet, and then stepped over Goku, who was missing his pants, and clutching bags filled with broccoli. Then he collapsed as a root tugged at his foot.
"Krillin?" The dark-eyed Saiyan gazed around. "We shouldn't have gotten drunk. Chi was right. Why does she always have to be right about this stuff?
"Where are my pants?"
The ex-monk rubbed his head. "Did we get that from the bar?"
"Chi-Chi's always telling me to pick stuff up on the way home." Goku shrugged. "I hope she doesn't ask where we got this."
257. Oh people say that I creep you out
Master Roshi eventually understood, and told Oolong and Turtle. Oolong dropped the frying pan he'd been struggling to clean, and the Turtle only gave a long, slow smile. "They're seeing each other. Hehe, way to go, son."
"No way."
The sun would sooner shine out of Bulma's ass, (like she thought it did already) than would Krillin get a woman like Juuhachigou to like him. Machine. Whatever. She still looked hot.
It was weird, how obsessive he was towards her. Always hanging around, annoying her. He was just lucky she couldn't murder him without suffering the consequence of a pissed off Gohan coming around to kill her. Even then, Krillin was pushing his luck by standing so close and leaning into her, almost flirting. To say nothing of when they would go swimming and he would sit next to her on the beach chair. Watching Krillin brandishing sunscreen at the pale and uncomfortable android was a lesson in mortality. You chewed your fingernails less watching those 'Gone Wrong' movies of stuntmen leaping into burning buildings.
With Krillin, he never burst into flames, only racking up the anxiety a little higher.
…aw, god, and there was that time he'd found them on the couch, their short little friend who couldn't catch a break or understand signals, trying to cuddle up against the blank-faced machine.
"That's why they're always smiling around each other. I bet they're together, right now."
"Hmm. Think we can slip a camera in?"
"We can try."
The shape-shifting pig bent to pick up the pan. "I still don't believe it. That's why she's teasing him, and they're always laughing at each other? It's supposed to be normal? Not weird? At all?"
"Oh, it's still weird. She is an android, after all."
Krillin came down, shirtless and tired. Only confirming the worst. He grabbed a carton of juice and two tumblers before heading back towards the stairs. "Hey."
"Where are you going?"
"Back to bed."
"Oh. Haha, with Juuhachigou?"
"Of course." The fighter tugged at his bedhead.
"No wonder you look so tired." The turtle hermit gave both short man and Turtle high-fives.
"Well, yeah, it's hard work. More technical than you'd think." Krillin sounded thoughtful.
"…I, guess. She is an android."
"Oh, but that's all normal. It's just not that easy. You have to take temperatures and use these sticks to make sure it's the right time."
"…I don't think we need to hear the grisly details. Not that. What?"
"What stick?"
Krillin nodded, gesturing with the juice. "Two of 'em, too. And we have to keep track of the calendar. I thought, just, boom, there you go. But it's a lot of waiting and seeing. With both of us. Thankfully, we're both healthy and all that. One to make sure it's the right time, and another to make sure she isn't already pregnant."
"…" Oolong dropped the pan again. And this time, Master Roshi dropped his walking stick, and clutched at his throat.
"I guess, considering our friends had no problem getting pregnant so soon, we'd been able to too. Eh, it's alright though. Hah, I don't mind. Hm, some cereal might be good too. See you guys later."
258. You're the Cutest Thing I've Ever seen Like a Teddy Bear On Heroin
He'd thought the wrestling and grappling part of the evening was over with. They'd both rolled over, trying to breathe and straighten their hair out and find the pillows that had tumbled to the floor. Together, their eyes had closed, and wordlessly, Juuhachigou allowed Krillin to sleep in her bed.
Krillin had smiled, savoring the small victory, ignoring the bruises on his hip from her grabbing him. And the scratches on his back that the books had never described as burning so strongly. Plus the pulled muscles in areas that had never hurt before. But he'd taken his victory, and not minded that she was now ignoring him. Or the unfamiliar sensation of having someone next to him, and sleeping in a strange bed.
Then she had rolled over onto him. Adorable, at first, the peaceful face cuddling onto his shoulder. Juuhachigou had magnificent eyes that burned his soul and left the remains to drift upward, but she was maybe even prettier with those eyes closed. Despite her forehead grinding onto his chin, Krillin had grit his teeth in a grin and dealt with it for the otherwise gentleness she was displaying. Care, definitely caring for him. A slim arm reaching up to wrap around his waist, tightening, tightening. Tightening. Her bare leg rising to lock him into place.
"Juuhachigou!"
He tried not to wake her, tried to slip away, tried to extract her limbs that were like steel. But Juuhachigou refused to loosen her grip, or do anything more than grumble under her things that weren't actually words, acting like a child having her teddy bear pulled away from her as he grabbed for the bed board during his attempts to crawl away.
259. I think I'd like it if we waited
Krillin had put his plans for a family with several children on hold for many years. So many he had to doubt whether he even wanted that. After all they'd gone through, he wasn't sure how permanently this latest peace was, and if he wanted to put any child of his in such danger. It might have been kinder to never have kids rather than risking losing one. And even if there was no one out there to kill them, ordinary dangerous lurked, and really, his partner was lukewarm to Goten and Trunks, and to any other kids they saw.
Wary, she was, when she'd see him smiling at a baby.
Who knew if she could even have kids? It was a question he couldn't bring himself to ask of her, couldn't stand the thought of hurting her with such a question.
So it seemed like fate was having a laugh when Juuhachigou literally jumped on his back and whispered into his ear that she wanted to have a baby. Right now. Yep, in this hallway, since the perverts were gone.
His knees had gone so slack that she just about slid right off him. "What?"
"What's wrong?"
"Kids? Now?"
A cheeky little smile that he loved more than air itself. "What, I thought you were always in the mood?"
"That's not what I meant. You want children?"
"Right now. As I said."
"…have you thought this through in the least!"
"Calm down. Yes, of course. We're going to have a family, I always thought."
"I always thought we were the family! Kids? Now?"
"Yes. Just one or two. I don't care about the gender. Hopefully they have a nose. That's all I'll say."
"Two, two kids?"
"I want to be the mother of your two point five children."
"Two point five. As in more than two now!"
Juuhachigou was all shrugs. "I want to have a baby with you. This was always in the fine print, Krillin."
"No! No it wasn't!"
260. Take me to your best friend's house; I love you there and I love you now
Chi-Chi got it, why that pale machine was here. At her house, her house that had gotten ransacked by that machine that had stood so awkwardly away from everyone. Trying to avoid knocking into equally uncomfortable, wall-leaning Vegeta and Piccolo. Another enemy turned sorta-friend, Krillin had informed her, grinning without any sheepishness. Oh, and how's the baby?
Letting her turn the subject to her infant rather than his new girlfriend.
The pale girl hadn't even apologized. Just looked like she was frozen in ice, avoiding most of the people there, saving emotions like anger for Krillin, who could only smile back. Strange, the recent widow had thought. Then the dark-haired woman was forced to pull Goten off Piccolo's antennas, and forgot all about them.
…she looked like she was eating his face, all suffocating the new Krillin, with his short hair. Wiggling like eels, falling against the old tire her father had hung from the branch in the yard, then stumbling into the study tree. Grabbing his arms while he either struggling for escape, or trying to grab her hair. Knocking over a wooden bucket, Gohan's bike, bashing into Bulma's aircar hard enough to leave a dent. Again, this machine was wrecking her home.
Well, at least she hadn't insulted any of the other women. Or attempted to steal anyone already taken. Was dressed in reasonable clothes.
The blue-haired scientist rolled her eyes when Chi-Chi grabbed her and yanked her to the window to behold the spectacle. "I told you I saw them making out. At Capsule Corp, in one of the closets. Vegeta and I were looking for a private area ourselves."
Bulma's gaze went hazy while Chi-Chi tried to come to grips with how different everything was. Goku's death had left a void for the weirdness to creep in. "They're doing it everywhere, I guess. You should have seen Vegeta when he saw them."
A blue jacket flouted out of nowhere, the future version of the small toddler currently attempting to get his father to pick him up. "What are you guys staring at—" Trunks made a sound of horror, mouth and eyes open with disbelief.
"Yeah. Like that. Ah, damnit. You two, get off my car!"
261. Just Married
After a week, Krillin came back, tanned, refreshed, with a crinkled shirt and a blonde woman at his side. Considering that his roommates had thought his abrupt departure from Kame House had been a spiritual quest to rediscover his new goals and place in the universe after having lost his best friend, and retiring from fighting, their shocked reaction felt alright. It was all they could do to pull at their collars and stare at the young female being who stared them all down. Her polka shell necklace should have looked more innocent.
Krillin's grin was borderline sickly. "Hey there."
"Hi."
Only the large turtle resting there besides the sun-bleached umbrellas and chairs looked happy.
"So, who's she?"
"…you know, since I'm not really a martial artist, you're not really my Master. So I don't need to ask your permission, for a girlfriend."
"Oh. Oh. Well. Hello there." Master Roshi's smile erupted, aimed at the blonde woman. Who in turn only raised an eyebrow and turned away.
"Um. So. Me getting married." Krillin looked upward, searching through the white clouds for something. "I don't need your agreement for that either. Right? No, no, I am a grown man, and can decide who I want to marry."
"…are you two engaged?" Oolong couldn't have sounded more disbelieving if he'd tried.
"No." Finally, the woman spoke. Then reached out to grab Krillin's ear and yank him closer. The short man stumbled backward with a grin none of the others had seen in six months. His exposed throat was marked with hickeys, beneath his own polka shell necklace.
"But, so, can she please live here?"
262. "We just stand in one place and let the hotties come to us."
Oolong stared at the wizened turtle hermit over the bag of nails and the shrinking hole in their ceiling. "She's gonna leave soon, right? How long can Krillin put up with her?"
As though she'd heard their wishful thinking, Juuhachigou voice filled the air, words unrecognizable. Krillin's pale form rushing out the front door reminded Oolong of a chicken with its head cut off. His pitiful attempt at closing the door went unnoticed by the blonde machine. "Leave me alone!"
The threats and pleading might have been playful.
They watched him spin from the force of her blow that sent him eventually falling into the obviously cold water. His screams made Oolong shudder. As did Juuhachigou's, when she was tugged down into the water with him. Their combined splashing turned to only one's when she shoved him underwater.
Only after Roshi had finished nailing another board up did Juuhachigou finally help Krillin up.
263. Will You Please Let Me Stay The Night? No One Will Ever Know.
It hadn't been begging, exactly, no. Juuhachigou still had her pride, no matter how she clung and shivered to him. Krillin hadn't understood her request at first. Her pushing herself into him hadn't done the trick either. Touching her hair had pushed him to the brink of tumbling off into some repressed-hormone valley. All comforting, and polite, as her hands grabbed at him. Pulled him against her neck. Them on this ugly couch together should have given him some clue as to what she wanted. "It's okay, hey, hey. It's okay."
"Please." Not believing the words coming out of her mouth.
"No one's going to hurt you. I swear, Miss Juuhachigou. No one could. If anyone even tried, uuh, well, they'd have to go through me. Scary, right?"
She looked up at him.
"No one's going to hurt you. I mean it, it's okay. No one wants revenge, or anything like that."
The small warm hands going to her hair, her cheek. Voice falling, eyes becoming half-lidded. Thumb going in circles, almost near her ear. "Cell's gone. Permanently. He's gone. So is Gero."
His shirt warm and teasingly tight, old, she could feel him through it. That heartbeat that she wanted to make race. Just a man, if much stronger than most, and kinder, and more clueless. "Just let me stay here. Tonight. Please."
"Oh, oh, sure."
Juuhachigou had known what he'd wanted as soon as that boy Gohan had mentioned a crush.
"That's not a problem. We have a spare bedroom. Or, you know what, you could have my bed. It's a little nicer. I think. Whichever you'd feel more comfortable with. I could sleep in either. Or downstairs, on the couch. Or you could sleep here, they're not that bad. If you'd wanted to. No one will bother you."
But apparently, he had some charade of chivalry to go through. Pretend to be innocent. Just some friend whose eyes had glanced at her chest, her legs, when she'd sat down. Juuhachigou could imagine the fabric of this red couch sticking to their skin. Juuhachigou wanted him with some sheets and pillows nearby. To just fall asleep with her brain turned off, and not a care for tomorrow morning. "I don't want to sleep down here."
"Well, I just changed the sheets in either bedroom. I do air the rooms out, believe it or not."
It was too nice, to sit here, hugging him. Even the way he smelled was a temptation. Teasing her to the point where she wasn't sure what her next move was. He seemed the type to get easily spooked. "Krillin. Which bed are you going to use?"
He gave a harmless shrug and grin. "Whichever one you don't want, I guess. Miss Juuhachigou? It's not a big deal. I don't mind. Whichever."
Even when she imitated him by scooting even closer, pressing a nose into his jawline, his only response was to squeal like a wet puppy. "Krillin. I want to sleep in whatever bed you want."
"Um. Uuuuhhm. You don't. So, you don't want me to get a bed?"
"I…really? How do I make this clearer?"
The dark eyes just blinked back at her. It was startling, to see the color and shape of those eyes, his curl of dark eyelashes.
Juuhachigou had to keep herself from turning away. "I want to sleep in the same bed as you."
Krillin seemed to experience a short heart attack, beneath her forehead. "Eeeh, if all we do is sleep, not that I would imply we'd do more! Or expect that. I guess it's not a big deal. I mean, we've fought a giant bug monster from the future. This is nothing. If you're sure, Miss Juuhachigou."
Then he patted her head.
"Stop playing around. You're not some child. We're both adults."
"Right. Exactly."
"Do you not want to sleep with me? Is this some weird game?"
"Wah, I have no problems. Okay, maybe minor ones. I don't do stuff like this a lot. Even platonically, sleeping with girls. I'm sorry."
The blonde cyborg wanted to grab his shoulders and shake him. "I don't want to sleep with you platonically. I came here to—I want to share a bed with you, tonight. How am I supposed to continue this, Krillin."
"We will—not platonically? What other way-" A light bulb went off over that shiny head. "Um. Maybe, not to be rude. I don't think you realize what that means."
"Krillin. We're going to go to your bed. Together. And then I will take off this ugly shirt and those stupid pants or yours. And you will carefully remove my clothes. Are you following me? We're going to hopefully have sex. Tonight? Do you know what that means? Are you still attracted to me?"
His eyes were still narrowed, mouth pink and open. Some tic moved beneath his cheek, and it was impossible for her to not kiss that cheek. That's what had gotten him in the first place. This time, he at least move his head to push his forehead into hers, for their mouths to brush and draw the air from both their lungs. "Miss. Juuhachigou. Are you sure?"
Juuhachigou took his hand, and had to physically lead him upstairs. Not even knowing if his bedroom was up there, and which room it was. But she was smiling at his lost expression, that she was here, and touching him, and that she now had some plan, some idea of what she wanted and what her immediate future would consist of, that Krillin had soft calloused hands.
She already felt better.
264. I'll be anything you ask and more
Their friendship had blossomed with her weakening, and him strengthening. She gave into his courageous stabs at being her sparring partner. He prepared dinner and they read books together and argued about every character. When offered during one of their walks, she eventually took the seashell he held out, though claimed not to hear the ocean in it at all.
Her asking to use his camera hadn't even been a blip on the screen of what they did for each other. 'Sure, go ahead.'
While she didn't care much for having pictures taken of herself, she did enjoy being behind the camera herself. His friends didn't mind; it was nice to see the often-solemn Juuhachigou doing something so normal that had her in contact with other people. And of course absolute strangers had no issue posing for a gorgeous girl, and Krillin did his best at hiding his envy towards every good-looking guy that flirted with her. And with the good-looking woman that did the same.
Juuhachigou was focused more on shadows and color than people, thankfully.
Until she was forcing him into different angle to catch light coming through the open window, peeling off his shirt without asking, shoving him into the bed with his leg curled up and foot on the sheet, taking the camera in hand while he tried to keep himself in control.
It was hard to hear her over the shutter clicking. "Just relax. No, tense up a little."
"Really, really Juuhachigou?"
"I have an artistic vision, is all. Now take off your pants. What? Please?"
265. But if I seem to act unkind, it's only me, not my mind that is confusing things
Guilt drove her back. Although, of course she wasn't really going to leave. Couldn't, after everything.
…well, she could. Not like he could find her.
Still.
Why here? Why there?
She hadn't been serious, about taking off after telling Krillin that she needed to be alone, away from his worriment. About the paranoid look in his eyes. 'Are you sure, are you sure, are you sure we don't need to put up another babyproof fence?' The jokes from his roommates 'wow, that sure happened real fast.' Her brother throwing out things like 'hope they aren't twins. Or triplets! Maybe one will absorb the other.'
Juuhachigou, and her one single normal baby, needed to be alone together. For a little while. Savoring the peace. And trees. It was nice to be free from any voices, to stroke her stomach and think of things to say to her future child. To float above a forest, or to land somewhere peaceful but for birds and bugs.
This is not what your mission is.
Was.
Before her pregnancy, she'd always disliked the outdoors. But so much else had changed now, why not find a new appreciation for dirt getting on her new shoes. From months before, Juuhachigou could hear the other women laughing about their own children throwing jello into a fan that had been facing the entire group, 'this is nothing.'
A little boy with dark or bright hair, dark eyed, grinning a gape-toothed smile as he hurdled a clump of sand at her right after she'd stepped from the shower. A little girl tying a jump rope on the bars to the stairs for tripping her father up. Twins that looked like what she and her brother might have when small, breaking plates and tipping bowls at the dinner table. Triplets with evil grins and speedy legs.
She already loved the tiny human growing inside her, the curled baby that punched and kicked especially when Krillin would sing it lullabies. And she already knew that no amount of love was going to keep it from destroying things and eating batteries and ruining many, many diapers. It would probably have her husband's appetite, too.
She'd decided to marry Krillin, and to have children with her new short husband, and any fears of either of those two things had already disappeared months ago. Peeling away from Krillin in the mornings had helped settle any discomfort over such a human thing, marriage was. Paperwork and wedding less marriage aside, here she was, sitting in the woods, married and pregnant. Getting ready to return home and deal with Krillin's puppy glare. Home.
She was Juuhachigou, woman turned cyborg by Gero, created to destroy the world's strongest fighters, was married now to the fighter ex-monk Krillin, and carrying his baby. Together, and they were most definitely together, they lived on a hideous pink house with hanging palm trees and a talking pig and turtle, and perverted old hermit. Their baby was due soon.
Really, there was no reason to even be here, hiding. There was always Dende, to heal them of their more serious injuries caused by this future child that kicked so hard when during its father's attempt to serenade them both.
Any second Juuhachigou would get up and fly back, with no more trepidation, with no more desire to flee, and eventually that little voice in her head would go away.
266. You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here
What only compounded her guilt was how loud her laughter had been as she watched Krillin bounce from her fist into the builder. That he had confessed to love the sound of her merriment did not help.
And of course, it had been so long since cracking he'd even trained, a fact that she'd rubbed into his face before nearly his skull. The white of his eyes exposed as he collapsed. Only the sound of the sea and her own breathing. Rolling her eyes, telling him to get up, only to realize that he couldn't. There was really more blood on the sand than there should have been, yes, but head injuries were always so dramatic.
Juuhachigou could no longer breathe.
Only after seeing the rise and fall of her husband's chest could she move forward.
"Miss Juuhachigou!"
"Krillin?"
"How've you been? Ow. How did I get here?" He reached for the back of his head.
"What? What's this?" Krillin yanked at his hair, flinching. "Ow. Owww. Why do I have hair?"
"…what are you talking about?" She had this stupid urge to bite her fingers, seeing the blood sliding from his scalp down his neck.
"I have hair. What's going on, Miss Juuhachigou?"
Krillin had stopped calling her that the third time she'd felt him up, years and years ago. "Krillin? Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Except for this headache. But what about you? You look well. Did you ever find your brother? Twin brother. Seriously, why do I have hair?"
"My brother?" Considering Juunanagou had been here a few weeks ago for Marron's birthday, Krillin should have remembered that. And why he had hair. How the hell did he not remember why/how he had hair, after spending who knew how time standing on his head and trying to get it to grow faster. And…Miss Juuhachigou? "Krillin, what's the last thing you remember?"
"Not sure. Um. Were we fighting? I didn't make you angry, or anything. Because I haven't been trying to find you. I respect your privacy. After you flew off, I wanted to give you space."
"Flew off? From where?"
He cocked his head, an old, well-loved gesture. "Kami's Lookout."
There was nothing she could do to keep her voice down. "That's when you last think we've seen each other?"
"Yeah. What's wrong?"
Juuhachigou could have ripped her hair out. Or his. "Are you kidding me!"
His hands went up, frightened. Of her, and not in the playful, oh, no, I-just-got-an-upper-hand-on-our-sparring, or their sometimes violent foreplay that left unexplainable holes in the walls. "Of course not."
"Krillin. You're just playing with me. Any second, you'll remember the last…eight years, god!"
"Eight years? Eight years?"
"This can't be happening."
"Eight years! What—what happened? Why do I have hair?"
"Because I wanted you to grow some. It came out unexpectedly well." Helpless, she reached out to feel the comforting silk of his mussed hair. She'd spent probably hours running her hands through it while he slept or was awake, eyes closed either way. Krillin turned pink, turning, cringing, like their first kiss.
"So, we're friends? After eight years?"
"Yes, I would say that. Goku's alive again, remember him?"
"What! He is! Awesome! That's great, he came back home?"
How come it was mention of his tall best friend that always cheered Krillin up? Shouldn't her mere presence before him, as desperate as he'd been to hold her hand when they were first getting to know each other, make him smile?
This was going to be so traumatizing to Marron. She'd go to hug her loved father, and only to be met with a freaked out man having a heart attack. Juuhachigou had to bring this stranger into their home, and reintroduce him to his much-improved life. Yes, yes, we're married, and this is our baby. And yes we share a room. Yes, yes, Krillin, stop hyperventilating, we do share a bedroom.
Her eyes narrowed. "To take care of his two children."
"Two kids? Wow, way to go, Goku." Then he was laughing.
"Yeah. Nice kids. Not as nice as our daughter, but alright."
"…fuh."
Hopefully, that fall backwards onto the sand might help jar some of his memories back.
267. Leave your number on the locker and I'll give you a call
"Krillin, would you mind help me move this weird pink van?"
Considering it would keep him from staring at the wall as another minute of his life passed by, the short fighter didn't mind at all.
"Hah, where did this thing even come from?"
"I have no idea. It was here when we got back," Chi-Chi huffed.
Krillin easily lifted the bumper, hoping it wouldn't peel off. "Weird thing to just find on your front lawn."
"I bet those androids left it here. After they finished ransacking our house. Do you know what condition my dresses were left it?"
"What?" He let go immediately, then looked at his hands. They should have been marked by handling something that Juuhachigou had once had in her life. Then at the van. She'd been in this thing, had ridden in it. Existed in this metal cage. Impossible to image anything but her looking out the window, vaguely annoyed, the sun glinting even brighter on her hair and turning it to white gold. Juuhachigou had left this behind, so carelessly, like a snake shedding its skin, or almost a calling card. She might have even gone into the house he was currently also staying at, touched the same things he had.
Transference, that was the word. They'd been in the same house, now, at least. Oh, Juuhachigou. She would never see this van again, hadn't cared enough to take it with her. She'd never step foot into the Sons' house again, or stop at Kame Island to laugh at him. Never, couldn't, not ever again. That's all she was, just a memory, and one that only had deeply affected him and Juurokugou back at Capsule Corp perhaps. No one else would mourn her.
Krillin stared at the van for a long, long time.
"…I don't even want to know which one went through my clothes. Overturned some tables, too. As though that would solve anything. Thank Kami my Gohan and Goku didn't have to face those monsters. Like spoiled, angry children.
"Krillin, are you going to help or not?"
"Yeah. Sure. Say, you don't need this right? Can I take it off your hands?"
"Oh. I guess." She gave a tired smile. "Well, at least they broke a mirror. That's seven years of bad luck, you know."
268. I Might Stop to Check You Out
Thank Kami that Piccolo hadn't woken them up. The alien had been standing outside, just practically sunning himself and waiting for them. Knowing that they would logically come here after checking Sons' house and finding Goku gone. Thoughtfully, he hadn't called out a word to his friends.
Yep, definitely thank the entire species of green-skinned slug that the fighters were still just lying there, helpless. And even better, her brother and Juurokugou were out there, arguing/trash talking with Piccolo, but quietly, and allowing her to sneak in.
The house was as terrible as Gero's database had offered. Pink inside as outside. Cleaner than she would have thought. Tapes and videos lined the shelves of the small entertainment center hardly higher than the square black table set in eastern design. The floorboards quiet and gleaming as she crept up on their sheet covered forms. Through the window, Juuhachigou could see the green-clad android playing with a crab.
One palm exposed, the other pulling the sheet to his forehead to hide his eyes. Her favorite one. Breathing so quietly, peacefully on a blue pillow. Mouth pursed. Eyes shut and moving as he dreamed. His sheet sliding downward with the tiniest tug from her fingers.
Juuhachigou nearly settled down beside him, to shake his shoulder. Would he scream loud enough for those outside to think she was murdering him? Or, better yet, she could sit there and just wait for him to wake up. The blonde was smiling for the first time since they'd finally found Goku's house.
What would be the funniest, cruelest thing to do to this little shrimp? Dump that mug of coffee on him? Scream in his ear? Throw ice cubes from the fridge into his open mouth? Kiss him again? Right on the forehead, or where his nose should have been? Or lay down, like this, next to him, stretched out to match him. Face to face. He was going to piss himself when he saw her there. Have a heart attack.
The bald shrimp was still resting, still dreaming without even noticing a woman lying next to him for the first time in his pathetic life. Face slack, and different from the first time she'd seen him, when he'd been so twitchy. Like a worried squirrel. Definitely different. She could notice things properly, like a small scar on his temple from unknown origin, his Orin temple burns, the dark thick eyebrows and equally dark and thick eyelashes, hairless round cheeks and chin, that girlish pink, firm mouth. Stupid jutting ears.
It would really just fuck with him, to kiss him right on that mouth.
Or, she could tug down the blanket, like so, and move in even closer, smell soap on his skin and the recently brushed teeth, the sweat beneath the laundered clothes. Yeah, just slide an arm around a slim waist, rub a leg against his own. He was hogging the pillow, so she used her remained arm to rest her head against.
Of course, Krillin was always a weird, pesky fighter with strange distracting moves that could help fend off much stronger fighters. This was something Gero had provided, since up until now, Juuhachigou had never seen anything sneaky form Krillin. But him rolling further onto his side, slipping his own arm around her hips. Pulling her closer. She'd never felt anything so distracting as his forearm resting on her ribs.
Why the hell did he have to meet her challenge? Was he still asleep? Now her smile had definitely disappeared.
The tongue flicked out, to her horror. Would he kiss her? She could break every bone in his body with just her little finger, and expanding as much energy a normal person would squashing an ant. A dull glance. "Good morning, Juu—"
There. That was the expression she'd wanted, only she was fairly certain her own face was similar.
"Juuhachigou?"
269. I can't get up without your help; I've fallen down
"A pink van?"
"A pink delivery van."
"…I did not see that one coming."
"They're strange, strange robots. One of them robbed a cowboy outfitters."
Krillin turned that one over, hand shifting the remote over and over again. "I have no idea which one might have done that."
Any of them dressed in like a cowboy was disturbing. Hilarious, and disturbing. Juuhachigou had the most messed up clothing, but—her in maybe leather pants and a vest—no, no. not that road. Do not head down that road. She probably hated clothes like that.
She has preferences? Taste in clothes?
"Then they got into a fight with a gang. A motorcycle gang. The cops were called out."
"Oh, Kami."
"One of them threw a police car into a mountain."
Krillin had to clench his jaw. They had to stop those machines, they just had to. No more thinking about how there might be something beneath the pale faces, no more worrying about her, thinking about that stupid kiss. They were hurting innocent people now.
No more waiting, or hoping. Just stop thinking of her as a real person. "They're real monsters."
"Eh. No one was hurt."
"What? What? What are they doing?"
"I have no idea, Krillin. I thought they were here to destroy the world? Because so far Vegeta does more damage to this planet on a Tuesday than these guys have."
"Huh. Huh. I don't know anymore."
No more thinking of them as monsters.
"Well, anyway, here's the remote. I'd hoped to track them down, but so far, all I can get is that they're headed to Roshi's house. Go shut them, will you?"
270. Time Is Hard To Kill, Since I Met You
After growing to hate all their board games, finishing all the books on the island twice (even the porno ones), playing even single video three or four times (even the porno ones), they were out of ideas.
"Maybe we should get jobs?"
Juuhachigou threw down the remains of Operation, sparks flying. It went passed Krillin, flying into the bay window. "What skills exactly do you have?"
"I'm personable."
"How's that going to help you?"
"I can do thing. Lift things." Krillin shrugged from his place on the ground. "What are you going to do?"
"Steal things?"
"C'mon. I don't want to have to stop you and your brother from robbing banks again. No matter how cute you look in a ski mask." He grabbed her knee until she yanked his hand loose.
"Not with Juunana. Just me. You can join in. We'll be like what's-their-names, but better dressed." Juuhachigou tapped his palm. "What do your stupid friends do?"
"Chi-Chi knits things. And cooks. A lot. Since she has two kids that eat so much."
"We tried knitting. It didn't work."
"For you. You have no patience. It's your foil when it comes to chess, too. And Sorry."
"What does Bulma, your crazy rich friend do? Throw caviar at the penguins in her private zoo?"
"Nah, since Trunks was born, she doesn't do stuff like that anymore."
She looked at him over the couch cushion. "Maybe we should just have a kid?"
271. "You leave a girl stranded in the middle of nowhere, and she's still gone when you need her."
He'd saved her. Him. Him. He'd actually done it. Hadn't even used the remote. Krillin had followed his heart, against all his other senses such as logic and common sense, and it had paid off. It was like Goku would have done: the right thing. And everything was going to be just fine.
Tears came to his dark eyes, and not from the force of his speed. Islands passed by in green blurs, and every breathe he pulled into his tired chest was sweet. Cell was going to be defeat, by Future Trunks. Any second now. And then they could stop running. Rest at one of these islands. Look at each other. Speak to each other. They would be alone, and forced to interact. Of course, it would be awkward. Stilted. 'You okay?' 'I'm fine.' 'Uh. Good.'
No, he'd wait to express relief over her being okay. Play it cool. 'Fine.' Look intense, keep his gaze towards where Cell was. Focused. I am focused on our problem, our green scary problem. Not the gorgeous woman I am in love with standing right there. She'll be worried, too. Afraid for that big android they had to leave behind. Her friend, her last friend, since her boyfriend had been eaten by Cell.
Had to act calm and collected. Definitely. Not ask if she was single and ready to date again, Kami, he could never ask that. Just be her supportive friend. That had never worked in the past for getting a date, but really, she was Juuhachigou. Android Number Eighteen. They were supposed to be enemies, and she was far too pretty to look at him twice, kiss or not. Sworn enemies. Why would she go for a short bald guy rather than some male supermodel?
Her friend. 'Hey, thanks for not killing me.'
'Sure. No problem.'
In time, maybe, he could actually voice what he thought of her. 'Yeah, so, I've had feelings for you ever since that dumb little kiss.'
Nope. Not even that. Krillin hadn't even told Bulma about his own pathetic thing for her. Stunted and misshapen from being hidden for so long. Just like the blue-haired woman, Juuhachigou was way too much for a guy like him. Even meaner, too, and stronger and crueler. Less likely to laugh off any attempt at getting closer.
She was alive, and safe, and-
Juuhachigou? Krillin just about broke his neck looking around in every direction for her.
-Where the hell was she?
"Juuhachigou?"
272. I've got a non-stop-whole in my head-imagination
Alright, she'd known it existed. No way did Krillin not have any, not after living so long on this island that reeked of desperation and had literally piles of magazines and videos downstairs. Krillin was just more discreet than the old man. The old man who'd ruined her short, sweet ex-monk by making him a pervert.
He'd grown up with no possessions, growing up meditating and getting wedgied by the older boys, and hoeing beans. Not a single worldly object; even his clothes were property of the temple. Since laws of decency prohibited a temple in East City filled with a bunch of naked bald men, they were allowed to own that and the land. No stacks of porn. Or thinking about women, really, that was frowned upon.
Krillin had explained all this while washing dishes or darning socks or sweeping the floor. Bits and pieces. His supposed Master had been surprised. "You usually never talk about Orin Temple."
"Eh, Juuhachigou was asking questions. About the weather there, how hot it got, what clothes we had to wear. How I was picked on."
Krillin just smiles over whatever he was sowing while Roshi turned to the blank android. As though he could sense her creeping interest in imagining a sweaty Krillin in tan pants and nothing else. Getting frowns from a renowned perv didn't make her feel any better about occasionally sleeping in the guest bedroom/attic/Krillin's room. Always, of course, when he wasn't there. Sleeping in the bed. The same bed she was. Since he had slept once or twice on the floor (sometimes with her next to him, but untouching), or in a small cot at the foot of the bed. Like a dog. One that she could even pet, when the mood struck her, and make his leg kick.
No more. Not after seeing all these magazines. And books. Romantic books. He had romance novels, and somehow, that was even worse.
…so many of the women were blonde. It was watching a trail lead back towards yourself. What if she just pulled the nails out of a board and hid a bunch of magazines featuring naked short men with stupid dots on their forehead. But of course no one wanted to see that. Not enough to justify a publication. So she should just leave his hiding place open, exposed. So he'll walk in, all chipper, and then see it and be horrified. Eyes bulging. 'I can explain!'
Probably blame Oolong for this; they all did.
She should maybe just hide this, then. Rather than deal with the embarrassment, his stuttering, him looking like he wanted to jump off a bridge. And to bring forth that issue they both danced around. Pretend his looks and her stares were really nothing, that she couldn't feel his longing from across the house like a grease fire. Pretend that she definitely hadn't played footsie with him under the table, smirking as he squirmed and tried not to laugh. Pretending that she definitely would any day now pull him into his own bed for them to finally share.
273. You never answer on the phone
Her boyfriend, for lack of a more appropriate word, might have been avoiding her. After having sex six and a half times, nerve-bitingly awkward and lip-bitingly satisfying, with him no longer crying after the second and three quarters time, and on the fourth time she'd given up and agreed to let him sleep in her bed (with her still in it), Krillin could no longer called her toy. At least, he couldn't be referred to as such with so much blasé.
And yet, here was her affectionate boyfriend who would wake her up with a kiss and a cup of coffee and an annoying ruffle of her hair, gone.
Ducking away from her at Bulma's party, not being around when she came to check on him, his friends and roommate's all somehow becoming blind/deaf/dumb when questioned, not even picking up when she dialed Kame House at a payphone near to where she was staying. Like he could feel her frustration through the phone lines.
Since she couldn't sense his ki, it was surprisingly hard to find his stupid shiny head.
The blonde woman had to wait, hiding behind his chimney, for him to get home. Then wait until the lights had gone out in his little room. Then yank up the window and throw herself inside before he got away. Leap onto his bed and onto his legs to stop him from getting up.
"Where the hell were you?"
"What are you doing? I told you." Krillin practically tried shoving her away. "This is not what I consider foreplay."
"Shut up. Where have you been?"
"Um. Juuhachigou. Look, I'm not really in the mood. Could you get off?"
Something about that last line really set off. After all the times he had gotten her…and now, not liking her being on top of him. What had happened? She had tried her best to at least not make him miserable, all the time. Surely that counted for something. She'd tried. And now he was backing down and trying to squirm away, pretend everything was normal, and then disappear again. "You're the worst boyfriend!"
"What? I am not—wait. Boyfriend?"
"You know. You know what I meant. Boyfriend. Sex toy. Person that takes me shopping. Whichever."
"Whichever? Wow. I thought that I was the one getting overly attached—not that you are. You are appropriately attached. Attached an appropriate amount."
"You're supposedly madly in love with me, and yet you've been avoiding me?"
Beneath her, Krillin was perfectly still. "I never said—I thought it was best. To distance myself. The last time I was in a relationship, honey, I got hurt. Badly. I didn't want to make any hasty judgments. Like proposing. Or saying that I love you."
The last words practically turned to mush in his mouth, and made her flinch away.
Crap. What Pandora's Box had she opened? It would have been better to just jump into this bed, kiss him, and pretend like nothing had happened. Next he'd start proposing to her, complete with a ring, and then say that they should get started on trying for a couple kids, maybe a set of twins?
"'Honey'?"
He stared right back at her. "'Sexy toy'?"
274. I'm Utterly Depraved; Let's Do It On Your Terrace
They'd rolled off the roof, balanced precariously on the overhanging front, fell onto the white washed porch, broke the screen door hard enough for it to crash into the living room, and then rolled off the boards onto the sand. Her pants were visibly hanging off a cheerfully waving palm tree, and his were probably on the…nope, there they went fluttering down to land in the ocean.
"Ow."
"You have the best ideas."
275. What's under my bed?
It was Spring Cleaning time, and Juuhachigou had thrown her hands up and stomped from the house because she refused to do her part. Even though no one else was helping Krillin, so it was down to the two of them to fix the house up-then it was only up to him.
"Do whatever you want!" The blonde had finally screamed, her words and volume making the other housemates stare at them through the window and out onto the beach. "Just leave me alone!"
He made a face, and opened Juuhachigou's room. As always, taking a second to wait for a crossbow to nail him, or a trap of some other kind to go off. Then just enjoying being in the same room that Juuhachigou spent so much time in, slept in even, right there. On that bed. And now he, Krillin short if-no-longer-bald ex-monk girlfriendless weakling, was here.
He gathered up a jacket she'd carelessly thrown on the bed and hung it up. Then cleaned the desk by gathered up the CDs and tapes and lining them up. Feeling dizzy from the transference of touch, that Juuhachigou had put her hands on these and now that he was touching them, he was therefore—that was just sad. Krillin sighed. How come love, such a wonderful thing that helped him personally get through something as terrible as losing his best friend, came with such awful other components? The sleaziness that was associated with the lust that came hand in hand with his love, how he could adore her perfect body and want to do such awful things to and with it. Awful, wonderful, brain-numbingly amazing things that they both, in theory, would have enjoyed if not for the fact that Juuhachigou made her antipathy of him clear. Love her mouth, the gorgeous shape of it, that pink color, it was incredible to even get a kiss on the cheek—then he was busy shoving his own less pretty lips against them and ruining the view. Her being a faultless innocent angel, and her being positively a devilish nymph in bed. Pitiful.
Straightened the books on the shelf, the ones she read out of boredom, and a need to criticize others. Shoving a page into his face, 'Look at this. Look at this crap. How can you say this is one of your favorite books?'
Krillin ran a broom against the floor, noticing that this was the second cleanest bedroom in the entire house. Just behind his own, and the tiny private bathroom upstairs that Juuhachigou commandeered. Why couldn't the others follow her example?
He was sweeping up beside her bed, wondering if she'd be super-pissed or just mad if he fluffed her pillow. Then shoving the broom under further for dust bunnies, and feeling something solid under there, a crinkle of paper, as the broom caught on something under the bed.
Sighing, Krillin bent over to shove it further. Oh, god, magazines. Dirty magazines. One of the perverted roommates she was so annoyed with had just left this under there. Poor Juuhachigou, sleeping unnoticed on top of this crap. The ex-monk shook his head, exasperated. Did they know to throw this stuff up in the attic, or at least keep it downstairs and away from their guests?
And it was weird stuff too, or really on the nose, and weird. Giving her stuff on muscle men, like she have to deal with Krillin training out on the beach and clearly visible from her window, to her mumbling complaints that he should put a shirt on, a policy she'd let thankfully slip as the summer neared. Just making fun of her for being a fighter and for even sparring with Krillin.
Plus the magazines on blonde women, as though she wasn't creeped out by the fetishism. He was so ashamed of what his roommates had done, that he didn't even flip through that one, despite his new interest in pale hair as opposed to his previous attraction to more exotic women.
Bald men, someone specifically made things just featuring bald guys? Them posing, heads shining right in the specially placed light. Bizarre stuff.
Hah, someone had made a porno about Buddhist monks? Boy, that was familiar. Krillin thumbed the side of the movie, amused by the familiar orange clothes and shaved heads, and at the promise of seeing them 'let lose in the city to discover the temptation of women.' As though they hadn't had a strict code of celibacy for training, and not just because they couldn't find any girls at the temple.
Krillin did a double-take at the periodicals and tapes on his lap.
He could only vaguely feel his face scrunching as he processed this.
…this was just an elaborate joke at their expense. Yeah. They'd known about Krillin's crush, from hearing him going on about this new woman in his life, one that he'd repeated over and over again how amazing she was, that she didn't like him back, but it was okay, because she was out there somewhere, and okay. Hopefully.
"Sure, son. Sure. Here, take this tissue. It's okay; if she can't see what a nice boy she is, then she doesn't deserve you." How grateful he'd been to have his Master there to offer a comforting word and shoulder to weep on.
Right after she'd moved in, Oolong and Master Roshi had slipped this under her bed. Made perfect sense. Those jerks. Thank Dende that she hadn't seen this, or she'd completely freak out and actually throw them through the roof like she'd threatened this morning. And then come after him. Then leave forever.
As though things weren't tense enough between them, Juuhachigou so distant and afraid to even be his friend, without adding suggestive porn to the mix. Actually scared of him, and his kindness, scared to care for someone besides her twin. Sure that he just wanted to use her, that he only thought of her as some sex object, that he wanted to see her stripped naked like the women in this stuff. Not a real person, just some pretty toy.
He swallowed, gathering the movies and magazines into a pile, feeling his ki spike hard enough to make nearby objects shake as he hurried downstairs.
"Hey, Kri—" Oolong take another glance at him, mouth falling open. Followed by Master Roshi. The fighter had no idea what he looked like exactly, but guessed it must have been pretty scary to make the old turtle hermit go pale.
"Man, you look like you're about to go Super Saiyan."
Krillin shoved the things in front of their faces. "What is this?"
"Um. Porn?" There was a glance over the large red sunglasses.
"So what? It's everywhere here." Oolong was proving that pigs could indeed sweat.
"I found it under Juuhachigou's bed!" He could definitely feel his hair beginning to clump and stick up. A recent decision to grow it out in hopes he might look more attractive that he was now regretting. It felt strange to have it spiking upward. If he'd been as blonde as Juuhachigou, as the women in that magazine, he might have seen what they'd been saying about him looking like a Saiyan.
"Oh. What?" The two just stared at him, then at the stuff he held in one whitening fist.
"Don't act like you don't know what this is about. You two put that under there." Krillin waved the handful of porn under their noses, making the two flinch back. "Do you have any idea what you did? How freaked out she'd be to find this? Like her life's not already hard enough to deal with, with you guys always making comments about her being hot? Just leave her alone!"
His voice was coming out a hiss of rage, a tone he didn't even think he'd possessed.
"Krillin, I swear, we didn't give her any of that." His Master held up a hand, looking sincere. "I swear it on my honor as a martial artist."
"Oh, please, like you don't oogle her every chance you get!"
"I may look, but I haven't even tried any of my many charms on her."
Oolong was still cowering besides him on the couch. "Yeah. We've been nice. Haven't even taken any of her underwear. Look, look, we're not going to piss off the scary android that beat Vegeta up."
"…you didn't leave this? You swear?"
"I promise you, as your Master, I didn't give that Juuhachigou girl you like any of that."
"Really, we wouldn't give her our hard-earned magazines. She'd just destroy them."
His jaw tensed, loosened, as he went over what they'd said. Yeah, they weren't ones to waste dirty magazines and movies. And Juuhachigou had caught Master Roshi reaching for her ass once, and had quickly put an end to that, whispering something so horrific to him that it made his expression now look peaceful.
"Okay. Okay." Krillin stood up, still lost in a fog. He ignored the sound of the others as he trudged upstairs to slide the stuff under her bed.
Then he remained there, crouched by the side of it, forehead creased. If they hadn't put this here, and he definitely hadn't, and Turtle would never have done such a thing even if he didn't have such a problem with stairs…then who'd put this under here? Through simple process of elimination, that really only left Juuhachigou.
A low laugh escaped his dry mouth.
But that was insane. This clearly hinted at an attraction towards…his type. Towards him liking her in return. All barely subtext. It only lacked actually drawings of them having sex.
Krillin lifted the comforter again. Nope. Nothing else under there.
He settled for sliding everything under there, hoping that he'd organized it the right way. If she had left this, for whatever reason that he couldn't focus on, then she wouldn't have appreciated him knowing about it. His thumb traced over a curled corner to the muscle-men periodical. Or maybe she would, and that's why she'd been so okay with him cleaning her room?
When he left the room after flicking off the light, he was smiling.
It was the hardest thing in the world not to grin deviously at her through dinner.