And love is a tired symphony
You hum when you're awake
And love is a crying baby
Mama warned you not to shake
And love's the best sensation
Hiding in the lion's mane
So I'll clear the road, the gravel
And the thornbush in your path
That burns a scented oil
That I'll drip into your bath
The water's there to warm you
And the earth is warmer when you laugh
And love is the scene I render
When you catch me wide awake
And love is the dream you enter
Though I shake and shake and shake you
And love is the best endeavor
Waiting in the lion's mane
Lion's Mane, Iron & Wine
Author's note:
In which Juuhachigou experiences love sickness, and the others find out repeatedly about her and Krillin's relationship, and have to comment on it, Cell chasing Juuhachigou is used as an excuse for her to get closer to Krillin, Bulma has more cameos than normal, and Krillin learns that he can party harder than the androids.
Also, the next couple of chapters are already written, so I should be able to update sooner than before.
276. Come What May
After retching for the fifth time that day, the android was willing to admit that something might be wrong. By then, she'd come to grips with what was happening, accepted and understood. After all this, a stomach virus was what was going to do her in. Probably caught from visiting the Sons, and having to help Krillin take care of the recently sickened three. They were to blame.
"My stomach. I may be dying."
Please let it come soon. She'd had enough of this particular cage.
Krillin was taking this opportunity, taking opportunity of her weakened state, to show how caring he was. You need some water, sure, oh, you need to kick me, well, alright, let me get you a damp washcloth for your forehead though. Then running back in with it, okay, go ahead, if it makes you feel better.
Only then she was too busy writhing on the bed. Pulling him beneath the sheets as her temperature plummeted to use as a rough chewtoy only alleviated some of the pain. Trying to fight him into the mattress only helped with some of the stress. Even after he'd wandered out of the comforter to stumble into a wall, Juuhachigou still couldn't take her mind off how goddamn hot it now was and fuck, she was going to puke again. Juuhachigou wasn't even wearing anything more than a light shirt and Krillin's underwear, and couldn't care about that either. Let him ogle; she would have her revenge later.
The cyborg had wanted to mend a small fence or two, just so that they wouldn't come to kill her. Now all she wanted was for Vegeta or Piccolo to be here so she could taunt them into finally destroying her.
"This is your fault."
"I thought you'd be fine. Here, have some more orange juice. Also, can you go easy with the biting? Just a little."
The pulp. The disgusting pulp. "Get that away from me."
Krillin set the glass back onto her bedside table. "Sorry. Do you want to wrestle some more?"
"I want you to gather the dragonballs, and wish that bomb back into me. Then I will self-destruct, and this will all be over."
"Hey, hey, if I did that, I could just wish for you to get better. Bet the Eternal Dragon can clear up illness. Really, you'll be okay. And there's no way I could allow you to use that bomb. Sorry. I'd stop you, somehow. Throw myself in front of you. I know you'd never hurt me.
"Aside from the biting.
"But that was okay too. Not too bad. The marks will be hard to explain, but oh well. Worth it, if it made you feel better. But I saved you from Cell, and from Vegeta, who, you know, wanted me to kill you after Cell spat you out. He wanted to kill you. And maybe Future Trunks did too.
"Are you still awake? I guess I'll just let you sleep then. Heh, I can't believe they wanted to hurt you. Just look at you, lying there like that. You look so adorable. So peaceful, how could anyone want to hurt you? Really, who could destroy someone so beautiful?
"You know, I don't even care if you were an android who had tried to kill my friends. It doesn't matter. And no just because you were rolling around with me in basically very little. Before all that. I knew before I even knew you. You were just scared and hurt, and I won't let anyone hurt you, even yourself. I couldn't use that remote on you. No matter what happened. Even though I told myself I had to use it, there was no option…You really changed my life. For the better. Regardless of whatever happened, I'm so happy to have met you. And that I didn't use that controller."
"Krillin. I am still awake. Shut up."
"I still don't care if you heard or not."
277. Any Fool Could See How I Adore You
"This is the best shrimp I've ever had."
"Really, have you tried it with the tartar sauce?"
"That's just swell…are we even going to address the giant elephant in the room?"
The Saiyan looked over his shoulders.
"I mean. Her." Bulma's eyes flashed towards the corner of the backyard. Her presence had even driven Vegeta closer to the rest of them, to avoid the machine. Future Trunks was also avoiding her, in-between the glares.
Only poor dear, stupid, stupid Krillin was hanging around her. He in fact was the very reason she was even there. The little guy was trying to get her to taste the shrimp.
"We should help Krillin." Her son, future or otherwise, was always so helpful. Always knew when to side with his genius mother.
The old hermit leaned forward, sounding tired. "Get him a girlfriend? Because I've tried that. We took him to every strip club East of West City. Or tried to anyway. He's got his heart set on Juuhachigou. Like, making Valentines-with-glitter-in-the-shape-of-a-heart into her."
Oolong was finishing another turkey hotdog, not noticing the mustard on his snout. "Poor kid."
"Well, if we don't separate them, he's going to get too attached. Like those baby monkeys with the bottles that resemble their mothers."
Vegeta gave her a disturbed glare.
"We'll find him someone nice. Someone actually nice. And human. Or at least less destructive."
"She's not blowing him up now," Chi-Chi offered, balancing her plate on that expanding stomach. Now neither Goku nor Krillin would get a chance to see that baby because of what Gero had created. There she sat, haughtily, as though she belonged there on that bench besides one of Bulma's oldest friends, the one she could depend to be a predictable dork who was so unfortunately awkward with women.
…except for that one over there, eating shrimp from his hand and sucking briefly on his fingers. Staring at him, teasingly.
"Oh, gross!"
"Ew."
"Told you it was good shrimp."
278. Always A Bridesmaid
"That is not that funny, Juuhachigou."
She was too busy trying not to drop her wine glass. Thankfully, in this huge crowd of a reception, the android was likely to go unnoticed. Just avoid the bride and groom. And this shrimp's other friends. Some of them hadn't ever met her, but most likely had her description from the ones that had, and really, if anyone besides Krillin saw her here, they would finish what Piccolo and then Cell had started.
There were baby breathes everywhere. Ridiculous. And the lilac was sickening. She needed another whiskey sour to deal with all this. Plus her dress was a little too relaxed for all this, just a simple sundress with a sash around the waist.
Also nice: Krillin was there to buy her one since this wasn't an open bar.
Also ridiculous: this wasn't an open bar.
Like the billionaire couldn't spring for it. Sure, there were lots of people, but alcohol without a wedding, or the other way around, was just. The radiant, if strange and unlucky woman, was gathering others. If it wasn't for their smiles and lack of pitchforks, Juuhachigou might have thought they were going to come after her for revenge.
"Krillin."
"There wasn't any bridesmaids, even. Or grooms. It was a strange wedding, even for those two. Almost awkward. You know," Krillin thoughtfully told his tumbler of what was either a dark wine or purple soda. "I think she sprung the entire thing on Vegeta. Without telling him beforehand. He looked so confused during the ceremony. Which was short. And those vows…"
"Krillin, what are they doing? Ugh. Why's he doing that to her garter belt? We don't need to see this."
"Can't believe she got him into that suit. They kinda look cute, laughing. That won't last."
"Is she going to hit him with that bouquet? What's she yelling about now? Why's he yelling? He wants to leave—just go then Vegeta." Juuhachigou flapped a pale hand in his angry direction.
And in return, the woman threw the objects in her hand towards the bar. The handful of flowers landed and then slid off Krillin's shiny head to finally stop on the counter in a cascade of pale purple petals. And the tossed garter belt ended up in her drink, to Juuhachigou's outrage and disgust. Giving into a sigh, the cyborg nearly slammed her glass next to the short fighter.
Krillin's face was blank, eyes going from the flowers to the frilly object in her drink. Her own gaze turned horrified. Even for an android programmed for nothing more than destruction and revenge, she knew damn well what these were supposed to mean.
"You two are next!" The Briefs woman had gypsy-cursed in their direction, as everyone turned to look at them. Everyone.
For a regular human, though, she did have pretty good aim.
279. What My Unravel, I'll Soon Be Naked. Lying On The Floor, I've Come Undone.
The excuses, and lies, would disgust them all for the last time. No more would they see the shadow of bruises around his wrists and neck or on top of his head, the careful tug downward of his clothes, the uneasy smiles. She'd gone too far, hurting their friend like that.
Together, Yamcha and Bulma conferred their findings, and went to the Sons. If Goku had been alive, this never would have happened. If Krillin had just used that remote…but it was hard to blame him for anything. Not after learning what was happening in his life, what he'd brought into his home and fell in love with.
Gohan was there, still too young to understand their trepidation, but the only one definitely strong enough to kill the android. He was there for backup, alongside Piccolo. Who also didn't fully understand the details beyond that the female android was living here, and harming Krillin just about every day. 'You could hear them fighting from downstairs,' Oolong had informed his friends. 'They're up there a lot, making some racket. Always yelling crazy stuff. They're like that couple from the movie 'Bug', only less charming.'
Oh, sure, Krillin, you fell down the stairs.
"They're in there." Up the stairs he'd supposedly fallen down.
Once again, Krillin had gotten in over his head. He was too vulnerable for things like this. Those androids weren't to be trusted, just as Future Trunks and later Vegeta had warned the rest of them about. But their short friend had a hero complex, and thought he could rehabilitate Juuhachigou.
"Watch yourself," was the turtle hermit's final call as Yamcha and Bulma and Gohan headed upward.
And you could indeed hear them from the hallway.
Krillin's voice, low. "You like that?"
For the first time, Bulma heard the android's voice. "Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"
Yamcha was raising his hand, holding Piccolo and Gohan back. "Wait. Wait."
"Wait why? Get it together, Yamcha. " The scientist tore open the door without any more whining.
The two of them nearly jackknifed off the bed. Grabbing for the sheets, for clothes, for something to hide the horrible sight of them messing around naked. Thankfully the supposed woman had let go of his wrists so they'd be able to move. "Get the hell out of here!"
"Oh my god! Are those what those stupid marks are from!?"
"What marks? Oh." Krillin caught sight of his bruises. "Yeah. She gets a little—"
"Krillin! Oh, for god's sake, even the kid's here. And the Namek."
"I mean, we both get sometimes a little carried away. It's okay you guys. It doesn't hurt that much. It's worth it." Then he was kissing his bemused android. "You're lucky you don't bruise easily, Juu."
The scarred bandit got over his fear and disbelief to start laughing, almost falling over into the wall. Giggling like a moron. The blue-haired woman wanted to shake him to death for leading her into this. Then go kill the old man and the pig for this. Then make another controller to shut that android down, finally, before killing Krillin for smiling at this moment.
"Oh my god!" Bulma screamed again, trying to understand. Trying to wipe her mind clean at the same time. "You weren't even getting beaten up! Fuck. This is disgusting. At least invest in some restraints that won't leave bruises!"
So much terrible information she'd have to bury beneath a gallon of whiskey. And for fuck's sake, these two idiots didn't even know about proper—no. Just no.
Yamcha was still laughing, even as he led Piccolo and Gohan away.
"Were they fighting?"
"Yeah, Mister Piccolo, that's exactly what they were doing."
The first time Bulma heard the android talking to her, the blonde was asking if they really did sell stuff like that.
280. I Took Your Boyfriend, And Then I Stole Your Clothes
His mind was still processing what had happened, the smirk and jeanned hips and mouth against his cheek, brain spasming, when he heard the other android laugh. The big one still had the vague smile carved onto his giant face, but the shorter somehow scarier android was cracking a grin.
Laughing at him getting some kiss by the other machine. Juuhachigou, his mind threw out. Sort of slid around his head, tying itself around his nervous system. Huh, he wasn't even blushing until the boy android had begun laughing. Making fun of him, that's all they were doing.
Now he felt ashamed, beneath the fear. He couldn't even look at them. Krillin hadn't been able to fight, to help his friends, and now the machines were rubbing his face in it before going to kill Goku.
Then the male android was coming nearer, with the same straight nose and smirk of Juuhachigou. Hands on his hips. Coming way too close. They also had matching pale blue eyes.
This time, he couldn't keep in a louder squeal of fear at the second kiss bestowed by an android.
"Juunanagou!"
"I did see him first."
281. The Questions Isn't If, But We
"I thought the androids were…cold? Mechanical? Emotionless?"
"That's a filthy lie. Juuhachigou definitely has emotions."
"Yeah. She just yelled at you to leave her alone."
"Confusing emotions. She's the one bothering me. Don't look at me like that, Bulma. I don't even know where she lives."
"I guess she doesn't want to see you anymore. You don't really seem all that heartbroken."
"She'll be back. She always comes back." It was almost disturbing to watch Krillin lean back, beer in hand, smiling.
"I've never seen you so smug. I have to meet this woman."
"You should. You totally should! Everyone should. Like, during a party! Except I don't think she'd show up for that. I'll have to surprise her with one."
"You really think it's a good idea to spring a surprise party onto a half-crazy android? Who killed just about everyone in the future timeline? Who beat up Vegeta, just a few months ago?"
"Juuhachigou is not half-crazy."
"She's dating you."
"So, fully crazy then."
"Completely. Just invite her over here. And how the hell did you even convince her to date you? And speaking of which, whatever happened to that remote controller I gave you? God, Krillin."
"Well, I couldn't shut her down! You saw her; I had no chance."
"And now you're sleeping with her. Wow. I hope it was worth it, Krillin…Actually, maybe it was."
282. I Don't Want To Have Fun; I've Had Fun, It Sucks. I Just Wanna Lie In The Dark, With You
"Juuhachi, you've already taken…probably all of his money. What more do you want, his soul?"
She leaned back in the chair, smiling past the smoke of her cigar and the lousy paint job she'd done in this room. "Perhaps."
"Just leave him alone before he calls his friends over." Juunanagou was full of such wonderful advice. Like 'hey, let's grab this ugly van,' 'that bug guy's not going to be a problem,' 'I think this apartment would be nice. Paperwork? Don't worry about it,' and 'use a bigger brush so you can actually paint the room' and 'stop stalking that pathetic monk.'
"He's the one bothering me."
"We both know that's not true. He doesn't have the spine to hit a fly."
"Funny. He seems capable of hitting on me enough."
"We both know that's also not true. You went to him, bored, I assume. And flirted with the poor bald bastard."
"He's working on that. The bald thing."
"Your influence?"
"I might have mentioned a thing or two. He'd look better with hair. Anyone could have told him that."
"Forget about him. Leave him alone. Let's go rob a bank, or a store. Or something. Anything. Just away from that shrimp."
"I'm sick of that juvenile garbage. So we steal from some banks, and then what? Hit the bars, go to the zoo, drunk, and then to the clothing store hung over? Again? What's the point? Of any of this? Living in this apartment, doing this half-assed rebellion thing, like anyone cares. None of this even matters anymore. I'm sick of living like this.
"…do you think if we did rob a store, he'd show up?"
283. One Kiss From You and I'm Drunk on Your Porch
There was nothing more pathetic than the bottom she was currently sinking towards. Crawled beneath. Literally curled up here, outside his door, waiting for him. The Sun, the black hole of her life. He made her laugh, was the most damning of it all. For all her misery, this was the happiest she'd ever been.
Krillin had been washing the windows, and that had undone her. Finally, she'd pushed the subject of whatever this way, physically speaking. Had hugged him, touched his forehead with her nose. He'd been trembling, more so than usual. "Juuhachi." It had taken her a while to realize he wasn't afraid that she would beat him into several smaller pieces. His kiss had come only after she'd separated herself from him.
That white smile. Stepping forward in those stupid purple sandals, and goddamn that terror and hope had mingled to drunken slip her up by having her just stand there as he moved closer. "Good night."
The floorboards beneath her head were becoming uncomfortable.
It was four in the morning, and Krillin wouldn't awake until six. Going to his room was an impossibility. The old man, the talking pig, the talking turtle, they could all come out here at any moment and find her lying here like a coma patient. Staring upward at nothing and listening for any movement on the top floor, to the right.
Fuck her life.
284. Here's Some Time To Kick You When You're Down
It wasn't enough that she had lost her twin brother, her other half. Nor that a big creature had eaten Juunanagou, taking him away from her forever, and that this monster was coming after her. That the only other person on the planet she could trust was now injured and hiding besides her was also another cause for misery.
All this that now made up her life. Her power stolen away, again. Hiding like an animal, like the chattering squirrels that were on this island as well. Cowering, because she was so weak, as pathetic as the vermin in the trees and below. She could remember holding one of those squirrels, its face oddly calm despite her having a millions times enough strength in her hands to crush it to a fine powder. Trusting.
Juurokugou had said that their feelings sometimes conflicted with their programming after she'd expressed the idea that perhaps she was going crazy. Saving that stupid squirrel. Meaningless. Another empty gesture that she couldn't understand. It was in Juurokugou to smile at pathetic animals.
He had his pets, and she apparently had her own now.
Krillin was crouching alongside them, amused and bemused as he looked at the huge green-clad android. Her going insane would explain why he was there. Her programming told her to break his neck, this friend of Goku. His big grin and bald head shining in the sun, turned nervous towards her. Trying to find something to say to defend himself. 'I broke the remote so you can't have a quick death. Isn't that swell of me?' As though that was less frightening than being eaten by Cell.
Krillin had been looking for some form of penance. Helping her drag Juurokugou to his feet, alongside her. Helping them get away. Trying to save the day for them, rather than from them. He had that sickening paternal instinct to protect that all these Earth heroes did. A weakness for attractive women that Gero had documented, and who knew, might have held some part in why he'd chosen her. Some other reason besides his fascination with bonds between twins.
How easily they would understand each other. Had understood each other.
If only the other fighters had showed up earlier, if only her brother were here to make his wisecracks and smirk. The third person trapped here should have had dark hair and the same eyes as her.
This man had played some role in her reconstruction to fit Gero's revenge. He had no right to look relieved when they'd gotten away, to ask her if she was alright, to have shown up with that remote and that look of anger. Then to, to stare at her with that black velvet gaze as a deer might have. 'Nice day, isn't it?' Juuhachigou was still having a hard time looking away from him, despite all that.
There were bunnies crawling on Juurokugou. Again. And Krillin was trying to pet them, only to only be bitten in return.
285. Oh, what did I say, she's all shook up
Krillin in those swimming shorts was a confusing sight. Just in those swimming shorts. She'd never seen so much of his pale, sunburned skin. Rounded muscles. Juuhachigou really wished she didn't enjoy seeing his legs in those shorts. Her words were used for a distraction, thinking of something cold and relaxing. Krillin had answered her question without thinking about it much. "Yeah, so, in the future timeline, you and Juunanagou murdered everyone."
"Wha—how? How do you know that? And what does that have to do with the purple-haired boy?"
"He's from the future. Hey, you missed a spot of lotion on your back."
It felt way too nice to hold his wrist, too. Maybe it would have been better just to deal with him rubbing her back. Fingers brushing against the fabric of her swimming suit, maybe threatening to touch the knot that held up her top. That's all she needed; for him to see her half-naked. That would really help both of them a lot. "Knock it off."
"So, yeah, in the future, you and your brother were unrepentant murderers. Killed a lot of people."
"How, why? We only went after Goku. And your friends. And you, a little."
"Aw, you didn't do anything to me. Or to Goku. Or anyone else."
"Not in terms of beating you up. But I did tease you a little."
"Yeah. You did."
"But no one was murdered. Probably. I think that truck driver was okay."
"Yeah. But Future Trunks (that's what we call him), he came back in time and told us in three years, some scary androids would show up and destroy everything and everyone. I had nightmares you know. Everyone else was all ready to train and fight you two."
"Everyone? Really? You died, again?"
"Yes. Probably by your hand. Stop smiling, please."
"Well. I wouldn't do that now. Go on some insane murder spree. But this kid showed up out of nowhere, and told you that he was from the future, and that you were all doomed? You believed him?"
"Future Trunks knew things. He, alas, neglected to mention how cute the girl android was. I was unprepared."
"Stop smiling. Now I'm going to have nightmares."
"It's okay. Sure, we were afraid of you. But we're not now." He patted her hand. "Even when you glare. Like that."
"How can you say that when in the future, I killed you?"
"You haven't killed me now. Aww, Juuhachigou. It's okay."
"It isn't. What's wrong with you? I'm some monster, in another timeline. You shouldn't be trying to ask me out."
"I haven't asked you out!"
"Really, is it a condition?"
Krillin was scooting closer, eyes not leaving her face. Their hands were in danger of touching. "I know you're not a monster. You're not that Juuhachigou. You're sweet."
"I am not!"
That hand was way too close to her. Touching her own hand, sliding upward to trace her arm. "You are. Like when you fall asleep on the couch or in the tub (you should really be more careful about that) or when you decide to play Scrabble with me and Gohan and Goten. Or take my clothes. Or sleep in my bed."
Touching her face, thumb on her chin. Tilting her head to look him straight in his own upturned eyes. Sitting, they were nearly the same size. Krillin only had to lean into and twitch upward a little to shove his face into hers.
She pulled away after he had.
"Fuck. You were actually being almost smooth."
286. Every time She Sneezes, I Believe It's Love
She was sleeping on his back again, spooning, hands hanging onto him as he struggled to adjust. Fingernails scrapping into his back as she dreamed. Eyelids twitching, mouth open, face as peaceful as when Cell had spat her out. Calm and trusting. Even her nightmares were easing.
"You're just a dork." A hand on his knee. Juuhachigou's smile.
That she could no longer hide behind anger, that she would watch him like a scared child. Krillin was leading her into something that he'd promised to be safe and without any more pain for either of them. His own lies. All of this his own doing, no matter how he might have once blamed her for starting this.
Touching her felt like needles. Oh, god, god. This was going to kill him, he couldn't handle all of this, this thing that brought tears to his eyes, that strangled him and only made every day more torturous. It was much too painful to live with.
If he wasn't in love with Juuhachigou before, he definitely was now.
287. Catch Me If I'm Falling, Will You Catch Me Cause I'm Falling Down On You
It was his stupid little comments about the stupid air conditioner being ill that made her roll her eyes, and realized exactly how she felt. It was adorable, and so like Krillin so say something like that. To grin at her, to grin back at her because now she was laughing.
"This is serious. You don't want to be stuck with just a fan out here."
He couldn't fix the air conditioner, but he could distract her with shadow puppets, and point out the star constellations, and gave her the last grape Popsicle in the fridge as the sun further was swept away. And tell her stupid fables and myths until they'd fall asleep on the carpet in the living room, where it was cooler.
In the morning, he'd make breakfast shaped like attempts at animals and then they'd take turns throwing paper airplanes made out pages torn from dirty magazines from in the direction of the fans, seeing whose could go the furthest. Then swimming around the island as the perverts ate the pancakes he'd left for them. Sunning themselves, 'want me to put some lotion on your back,' then sparing until he'd pulled enough muscles for the day, then getting her own ass handed to her during a board game such as Scrabble (even though she had a higher vocabulary than Krillin, and the old pervert was even better at it) and chess. Lunch with him still in his bathing suit, taunts from the hermit about why she wasn't wearing her own, and then watching TV together, arguing for the remote.
Krillin falling asleep during the story about him fighting a vampire that ended with him losing spectacularly and nearly bleeding to death. Curled up on his side, face open, and facing her.
How was she supposed to not enjoy this?
He was charming, gods help her. He was charming her, Dende help them both.
288. On The DL
They'd all arrived a little late to the party, a result of the storms just beginning to leave Kame Island. That, and some of them had children to smother in blankets and little sweaters before bringing over. It had been too long, the group had complained. We really do have to spend more time together.
With the fresh rain from last night still hanging in the air, they landed almost silently in their aircars. Trunks and Vegeta and Bulma were already screaming at each other, as Goten began wailing for something to eat and Gohan was complaining that he couldn't concentrate on his college prep work before anyone had even finished opening their car doors. But when they had, the group realized that they weren't the only ones late.
They could just stand/sit there and watch Juuhachigou crawling out of the window, struggling to pull her pants and shirt on, and then stand up to fix her hair as Krillin handed the android presumable her bra. And to continue watching her silently as she grabbed the undergarment, turned back around, saw them at the front of the island, and slid off the damp roof to land at their feet.
289. That's Just Your Feelings; I Wasn't Looking At Her Ass
If there was one thing he hadn't expected to see in his strange life, it was Maron looking jealous. It took several moments to realize that yes, that was the rare cloud of anger on her face. She was so playful most of the time, something that had always tickled him pink and made his own life light up. Her smiles were contagious.
As were the frowns, he was learning.
Something else he was learning, from his girlfriend. Along with why Yamcha and Bulma and Chi-Chi and Goku fought so much, and why they stuck it out. That love was less paralyzing, less head-over-heels, and less confusing than he'd initially thought, because Krillin could take one look at this pretty girl hanging off his arm and calling him her boyfriend, and know that this was definitely what love felt like. All clear pride and affection and knowing that he could touch her hand without fear of any pain. That he could touch her and not pass out.
Taking her to the mall, again, was another way of demonstrating his love. Maron loved going there, and he couldn't deny her anything. And of course there were other people there, plenty of other people, that was one of the reasons she liked going there: to show off. Sure, there were women there too, duh. How was he not supposed to look at them? Keep his eyes on the ground? Then he'd walk into people even more, and spill bags all over, and only annoy Maron more.
It wasn't like he'd been leering at that girl. Some girl. Whatever. Some skinny girl that he hadn't even looked at for longer than like five seconds. He hadn't even seen her face, just noticed the clean bright hair and pretty dress.
"Krillin!"
"What?"
"You were totally staring at her!"
"I was not. Who? I mean, who?"
"Humph! I didn't come out here to be ignored. Again!"
"I wasn't looking at anyone. You know there's no girl in the world that can compare to you. And besides, that girl was too sickly looking. Yeah, I just worried she was going to pass out from anemia."
But now he had a girlfriend, and that part of his life was over now. No longer a bachelor anymore. And he was definitely not supposed to check out girls, too skinny and pale or otherwise. What type of boyfriend would he be if he did that?
I have a girlfriend. What more could I want? A beautiful woman. What else is there?
290. I Felt For the First Time What It's Like To Be Alive
"Oh, Kami, this is it, we're going to die," Krillin whispered, nearly into her ear, her bright hair.
"I'm sorry, Juuhachigou. I should have—"
"Shut up. Just be quiet. I need to think."
There was sweat beading on her forehead.
"I knew I was going to die soon." A strange smile came to his face. For three years. "But it wasn't all that bad. I had some great friends, the best a guy could ask for. I've died twice before. Done things most humans wouldn't have thought possible."
And he'd met her, and somehow fallen in love despite those three years spent alone and attempting to disavow his dream of marriage and a family, swearing to never give his heart so easily. Just a kiss this time did it. Even Maron had taken more. Krillin had to smile at her serious pale face.
"Look. When Cell comes, you run. I'll throw myself in front of him. I can distract him."
"For how long," she demanded.
"As long as you need."
Krillin wanted to touch her hand, to do something. This must have been what knights had felt, kneeling before a princess, begging for a favor.
Juuhachigou's mouth was set in a fine line. "You can't. You wouldn't even work as a distraction."
"We have to do something."
"If you can get to Korin's Tower, to where Kami is…you could hide. The others won't hurt you."
Goku would definitely not hurt an innocent woman, and Gohan would do his best to help protect her as well, even if he was only a little boy; his father's son. She might even like those two, maybe a little, understand that they were good people and not to be harmed. That she couldn't hurt them.
"I just wish. Heh. I just wish there was more time. To better know you. I know, I know you're not a bad person, Juuhachigou."
The snow besides the mountains Gero's lab was sit into was less icy than her voice. "You don't know anything about me."
"Enough. I couldn't use that controller."
"Because you're weak." He could almost smell the electricity in the air as the woman worked herself up. "You were too weak and pathetic. And now we're both going to die because of that monster."
"I know. I'll try whatever I can. All you need is maybe a few minutes head start. Maybe then Trunks will have killed him. Or Goku."
They were nearly huddled there, safe in this hollow where the trees nearly grew into the hillside. Leaves as a shield. One island among not-so-many-anymore.
Three years, Future Trunks had warned them. Then they would fight for their lives. Not exactly a lie, just a message that had gotten jumbled and distorted. At least he would die fighting, on his feet, defending more than just the Earth, more than even his friends, but the woman he loved. Die with her face on his mind, her voice in her ears. There was so much worse than that. For her, he'd throw himself in front of five Cells.
"I'm glad I got to meet you."
"You're going to die when he gets here. You know that, right."
"Yeah. Yeah I do."
There were strands of hair falling into her eyes, on the right side of her face. "Then why are you smiling?"
"It's okay. It's really okay."
"You're fine with dying? That's what you're saying?"
As though she hadn't looked unafraid when he'd showed up with the remote. As though she hadn't not attempted to stop him.
"Sure, there's some stuff I wish I'd done. Like eaten that last grape Popsicle in the freezer. Gotten married and had a couple kids. A serious girlfriend. Um. That sort of stuff." Ah, it was stupid to even think about that, at this moment. At least he didn't know what he'd been missing, would miss. Right in front of Juuhachigou, he was revealing that information. I don't want to die a virgin. But I've already done so twice, so what's a third?
"A serious girlfriend." Now Juuhachigou was smiling. A small smile, but it lit up her face all the same. Sweet. "I suppose virgins are the ones to be sacrificed."
Of course she knew exactly what he'd been thinking of. He couldn't even die with a little dignity. "Oh, that's nice. It just never happened, okay? I feel like that's the least of my problems."
"I guess it is." She was touching his Adam's apple, and he was sure she meant to strangle him. Or puncture his throat. She was going to die looking at his dumb scared face, and clearly knew it. They just looked at each other, lost as children.
"I left Juurokugou behind." Some shamed admission.
"He told you to. There was nothing we could have done. Cell won't, there's no reason why…"
No reason why he wouldn't destroy Juurokugou either.
Every time he swallowed, he could fell her fingers anew. Her other hand was reaching for his head, touching the back of it. Making him shiver, despite his best judgment. In another timeline, she might have crushed his skull in. Whimpering was permitted, in this situation. Although, it was hard to compare this Juuhachigou to a killer version of her he'd never met. Hard to care. About Cell, or her scary boyfriend, or about how long they might have. There was only the blessing of Juuhachigou in his arms, firm, solid and real. She felt very little like his ex-girlfriend, harder and bonier in places that had been soft and rounded with the last woman he'd held. He was thirty years old, and felt much younger.
"It really isn't a big deal. We don't have to do anything."
A pair of thumbs were digging into either side of his jaw. "Just be quiet. Okay?"
"Fine, sure."
Her mouth was warm and dry. Somehow, his hand ended up on her thigh, playing with the watch chain hanging there. Breathing became optional. "Control your ki. Even I can sense it."
"Mm, I think I can do that."
They tried not to make any noise.
It was funny, to watch her squirm when he kissed her neck. "What, does that tickle?"
"A little," was all she allowed herself to say. "Nice belt. It's like you're wearing a dress. How do I even get you out of this thing?"
She just needed the comfort, they both did. Juuhachigou was definitely human, scared, and, and looked amazing sliding out of that vest. It might not even matter that they weren't even watching for Cell, that they couldn't even remember to be afraid or wonder if they might be visible. Even with death beating down the door, Krillin couldn't remember ever feeling so right with the world and his life.
291. Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn't Have)?
There was a sickening realization that only made this beautiful, talented, genius want to further bemoan her foolish heart: Krillin had the same heartbroken-puppy expression that she'd been wandering around the streets carrying on her own face. She watched him slumping, dragging his feet past this café. Without thinking, Bulma pounded on the window to catch his attention. Not even Krillin stumbling and turning his head wildly made her feel better.
His wave hello was grim, but he did follow through with her gestures to come inside.
"You too, huh?"
"What?"
"I know that look. You're in love."
His round face was as easily read as a book, today. "Jeez. You heard about that, huh."
"Yep." Although not one of her friends had told her about Krillin having a girlfriend, the bastards. Or at least a new girl to fantasize and plead attention from. Basically the same thing.
"I'm sorry. About not using the remote. But, I just couldn't."
Her face was frozen into sympathy, still. Krillin interpreted this as empathy.
"If you met her, you'd know why."
"You let the android get away. Because she was a girl."
"Bulma?"
"You bastard!" She threw a handful of rough napkins at his head.
"It's more than that! She was an innocent young woman. Who—nevermind. It doesn't matter. I'm never going to see her again. Let alone…she's definitely not interested." He gave a sick laugh. "I had no chance, android or not."
"Man, I thought you were moping over an actual girl. For a second, I thought we were going to commiserate on our love lives."
"What? What are you talking about? Vegeta—"
"Is a bastard too! That I happen to be falling painfully in love with. I don't really want to talk about it."
"Oh. Isn't that good, though? With Trunks and all?'
"I don't know. I preferred it when we were roommates that argued all the time over using the shower. Now." She let out a hiss of air between her teeth. "He's all helpful. Annoyingly so. He doesn't help, believe me. But still, he actually goes into the lab, and tries. He gives Trunks his baths. Doesn't just call me 'woman' so much."
Krillin was smiling, a grin that lit up his face. One that maybe if he flashed around girls some more, would have helped his relationship problems. That, and if he grew some hair. Plus got rid of the ridiculous clothes, like the ones he was wearing now. "That's sweet."
"Yeah, yeah. Terribly, sickeningly sweet." Bulma stared down into her mug, and motioned for the waiter to come over. She didn't even have the heart to playfully flirt with the man, cute as he was. Instead she was all business with ordered them both coffee that would be as black and bitter as her mood. At least it was brought over quickly.
"It is. You two are good together, in your destructive way. It's good that Vegeta's settling down, isn't it?"
"Sometimes. I think he might just be depressed."
"Oh."
"When they start to use your real name, then its trouble."
"Huh." His eyes lit up, then his shoulders slumped in. "Not always."
"So she knows your name?" Bulma smiled, then just as quickly, glared at him. "Of course she does. She was programmed to kill you."
"Not necessarily just me. And that's not her fault."
"This supposed girl made her crush the remote."
"There was no way I could use it on her." He shook his head, reaching for a sugar packet. "And what do you mean, supposed?"
Nastily, she informed Krillin, "God knows what Gero did to her."
He went pale. "Poor Juuhachigou. She's definitely a woman, you know, just modified. I never really thought about the exact details."
"I guess Goku's dead anyway."
There was the expected wince. "And it's my fault. I know. Better than anyone, I know."
"It doesn't matter. Oh, hell, I shouldn't have given you that remote. If I'd known the android was a girl, I would have given it to Piccolo or something. Definitely not you. Or Yamcha."
"Not nice." The short man pouted, then smiled a little. "She's really a good person, Bulma. And are you still mad at Yamcha?"
She waved that aside. "Whatever. It doesn't matter. No, no I'm not angry at Yamcha. He's the one babysitting Trunks right now."
"He's a good man." That smile grew. "Gave me some advice, if I ever see Juuhachigou again."
"Oh boy. Well, I guess you're pretty good at dodging, right?"
"It's not that bad. I think I'm getting better with the flirting. Maybe. When I'm near her, I just can't seem to form words." He raised his hands limply, then let them fall back to his side.
"I have the opposite problem with Vegeta. It all wants to come hurdling out, and then what? I don't want to deal with him running off into space again. I don't want to go back into space. Once was bad enough."
"I said I'm sorry about leaving you on Namek alone."
"Yeah, I know. I'm getting an adventure right now here on Earth. Saves some gas, and here I can at least get my hair done."
Krillin lightly punched her shoulder, as he'd do for a guy friend. Which he'd never done for her, and probably wouldn't do for that android female. Then he was frowning at her over the coffee cups neither was much touching. "At least you have a child with the man. Yeah, hey, at least you have a family!"
"That can only complicate things. Make everything worse. You don't know if they're there out of some obligation or not."
"Nah. Not Vegeta. You saw the way he let Gero blow up you and Trunks. Er. Sorry. I mean, Vegeta's not a dutiful guy. He's there because he just wants to be."
"I guess that's true. He's not an easy guy to read. Maybe that's one reason why I like him so much. He's a challenge."
At least he was looking amused again, even if it was over their predicament. "What are we going to do, Bulma? About them?"
"Being drunk in a mansion always helps."
Krillin laughed. "Are you offering something stronger than a cappuccino?"
"I think we can both use it."
"Well." He clinked his mug together with hers. "When you tell Vegeta, I'll help you bring him back to Earth."
"Maybe you can bring Juuhachigou on board the ship?"
292. When I Said I Could Do It All Again, That Was A Lie
At the least, Krillin knew whose house this was. The couch was unfamiliar, as were the pictures and clothes strewn about, but he did know the people in those snapshots. That, and the stripes and orange bandana thrown nearly into the fire told him who was currently snoring in the back bedroom. Hopefully. At least this time he had pants. And his underwear on.
Of course, his pants were wet from whatever, but this was a better than average wake up. There was cereal and bowls and milk in the kitchen, and the fighter even thought he could keep it down.
The last time, he hadn't even slept at all during the night. Just wandered around East City until the sun rose, bruised, and only in shorts. As in, without the boxers he'd showed up in, and minus a shirt. Left with more money than he'd started off with, and a new clustering of fragmented memories. 'Still hanging around those androids, huh?'
'Yep. Where's the antacids?'
Now he spooned cereal in as the doors opened. One of them the bathroom door. Only the blonde one was wet from presumably a very early/late shower, and that might have been a relief. It made the sunshine creeping through the windows cheerful, rather than blinding. "How are you kids doing?"
The two were technically alive. Juuhachigou collapsed onto the countertop, while her brother flopped onto the couch. They both curled up in matching fetal positions. And when he dragged/carried them to the breakfast table where matching bowls sat waiting, the twins leaned precariously towards and then fell into their cereal the same way.
"Never again," Krillin answered for them.
293. I think I'm in with this…I think of her since the day we met. I try so hard but I cannot stop.
Inside the small airship, the air smelled of Gohan's pens that he scribbled his homework with, some medicine that Chi-Chi had forced on Goku's unconscious form ("We could slip him his shots now, too." "And a haircut."), of Yamcha's cologne and of Trunk's fretting that was so unlike his mother.
All of his jokes had run dry, leaving Krillin left to lean against the wall of this yellow aircar and hope for an answer for all of their solutions to come to one of them. Any second. Any second. Now.
At least, Trunks should be coming up with something. Aside from dealing with those androids before, he was Bulma's son, and there was probably some chance plotting was hereditary. There were going to need all the help they could use for those androids. Horrible scary androids with creepy pale blue eyes, and the unsettling tendency to pout.
His head hit the sheet of metal.
Pretty. At least the blonde one was. No, okay, both the brunette and blonde one were pretty. That's why they were…
You are heartsick over an android. Because she is seeing someone else.
Krillin could have yanked his own vocal chords out.
Another murderous android that will kill all of us. And he is way better looking than I am.
It wasn't as simple as that…but that was part of his problem. That combined with everything else. She was going to try and kill all of them, and she was pretty, and seeing someone else.
Of course they were dating. Why wouldn't they be? Them against the world. Classic. Met a girl, and she had a boyfriend. There were twists, of course, what with them both being machines bent on the destruction of the world, but he'd gone through this disappointment before. Liking a girl that had made eye contact with him-just for basically making eye contact—and then having those hopes crumble down as reality decided to use one of Yamcha's baseball bats on his head.
She wasn't even a woman-
He really wished, in retrospect, that Goku had used that mind trick that allowed him to read memories. If only he'd had some warning, a real warning, about who Juuhachigou was. That the purple-haired warrior had given them a picture so he could make himself immune to pale blue eyes. If there ever grew blue roses, they would be that shade, and they would sprout up after a nuclear holocaust.
But Goku would be awake again, soon. And have a plan at ready. Then, then. They could come up with a plan to defeat those androids. Cold-eyed androids with dark hair that didn't seem to treat their girlfriends with enough respect.
This will get better. Someone will destroy her, and that will be it.
How can I let someone hurt her?
294. I Would Never (Have Sex With You)
His love was a cruel weapon, pointed in her direction, with all the symbolism involved with such a gesture. It left her dry-mouthed and afraid more than any real gun could have. No ducking away mattered. There was always him, standing there, holding flowers or a plate of pancakes, offering to take her out shopping, if she was of course interested.
Never just as a friend, was his subtext.
Yeah, let's get into my car, and we totally won't make out. Or, at least, I won't throw myself at you, in hopes that you might give in to doing something with me. A little. Juuhachigou didn't spent much time around other people, but damn well knew how Krillin's mind worked. At least, in regards to why he kept bothering her.
The issue had to be addressed. Right now. There he was, the sad little shrimp with the huge grin, trying to make her smile. Standing outside there, hoping for some sign of affection to cling to.
"Krillin. What the hell are you doing?"
He was horribly upfront. "I'm trying to charm you?"
"We are not doing this, Krillin!"
"Doing what?"
"Having this discussion." With him outside her window, down below, like something from a romantic play. At least he wasn't preparing to serenade her. That would have gotten them both killed.
"I just wanted to know if you're free or not. For a movie. Dinner included."
Even from a distance, you could tell Krillin was blushing. "I won't do anything, if that's what you're worried about. Try anything. Unless you—no. I don't know what I'm doing Juuhachigou."
If she just flashed him, then maybe he could be convinced to go away?
295. Should've have known the night I met you, you'd be my doom.
He just about fell off the barstool when realizing who that short brunette was, sitting there and toying with a straw. Acting like she was any other woman, which, yes, she was. Enough power to destroy the planet, but Krillin was still a woman like any other with too-wide a smile that had disappeared apparently after emptying those other glasses sitting lined up on that dark stained wood like his twin would set up for target practice.
The little moron who'd actually thought that kiss had meant something, and had responded by saving Juuhachigou's life, along with the life of his sister, if only through making sure the others did not harm the androids. All he could do was to drain his beer, and leave before there were any awkward misunderstandings. A coincidence that was not to be repeated.
Really, it was his fault for being stupid enough to go to a bar so close to Capsule Corp.
"How've you been? How's your sister? Twin sister. See, I know that now." Krillin smiled, all proud of herself for picking up on something so obvious.
"I'm fine. So is Juunanagou."
"That's good. You're not here to drown any grief, right? Hah, of course not. No, I'll stop now."
Small fingers curling into timid balls, defenseless, despite the callouses and scars. Chipped nails that had been painted some light shade a long time ago. "Um. But really, how are you? Not trying to intrude, just curious, obviously, I'm not trying to get into your life."
"Nothing much."
"You're just here, drinking, at three in the afternoon."
"Well. You were doing the same."
"Got here early for happy hour. Ah, no, I just needed some time to myself. I could leave, you know, if you felt the same."
His face fell from whatever miniscule emotion it had held. All those muscles that Krillin could make go slack—oh, god, why think something like that. "About what? I'm not-not doing anything to you. We've been over that."
"Oh, of course not!" Mouth falling open. "I know you're not that type of guy. That would be interested in a girl like me. Duh."
Juuhachigou couldn't stand how she shrunk in her t-shirt, noseless face pointed downward. "Shut up."
"Sorry. Sor-rry."
"I have to ask." A brief pause. "You're not here to pick up women, right?"
"Of course not. Oh, yeah, I could pick you up, because you're the size of a barstool."
She leaned briefly closer to the blonde android, looking upward. "Well, that's not the only reason."
It would have been pathetic to flee out the front door, into the hideous bright light of needles shoved even into his eyes. So he remained there, hoping he looked cool and collected, rather than letting his face show even a flash of what he felt. He was Juuhachigou, the eighteenth of Doctor Gero's creations, once a teenage boy, with a twin sister; he could no longer feel normal emotions without a filter, without a little robotic voice informing him of a heightened blood pressure and elevated heart beat and that his temperature control had been activated.
When he sat down, it was only to intimidate the small fighter, not because of trying to get closer, or a weakened pair of knees or whatever went through Krillin's head to make her smile.
"I don't want to hear that."
"Sorry. I apologize." Hands up, like Juuhachigou was a cop. The cheekiness in that small smile made him want to hurt her.
Twitching hand on the bar, his own turned paler in the dim light, her much too close, turning, blinking a soft eye the color of some poetic nonsense about shadows. "What, what's wrong?" Stuttering, cringing away, trying and failing not to blush.
"You've been a pain ever since you got a hold of that remote."
The grin was too sincere, and made Juuhachigou take a step back. The vague plans of moving closer just to freak her out, gone. "I've been a pain ever since you kissed me."
296. It's Never Too Late To Get Up and Go
She was the eighteenth of Gero's creations, the twin sister to Juunanagou, android number Seventeen, and she'd been created for the purpose of revenge against Goku Son, a Saiyan warrior who had defeated the Red Ribbon Army when he was still a boy.
But none of those facts explained why she found herself helping dig up turnips with Krillin behind Goku's home, why she would play Truth and Dare with one of the men she'd been designed to destroy, why she had told him droll stories of her time in that lab (something she'd never thought she'd speak of ever again), why she'd let him pull her into his lap in an attempt to tickle her.
This man who fell so easily when she threw a snowball at him had some strange power over her. Krillin, who acted the fool, who was weak enough not to fight her and her brother on that mountain side and stupid enough to fall in love with her over a teasing kiss.
And what was she, this cyborg that made snow angels with that pathetic mess who made eyes at her that she would fully respond to, who wanted nothing more now to make him laugh.
What exactly did that make her now?
297. Retaliation
Watching his best friend get his by demon spit, his face twisted with disbelief and disgust, the slow turn to pale gray stone, the weirdness of what he was seeing, the last conscious thought before the others began talking was, 'Kami, Juuhachigou's going to be so angry at me!'
298. I want to tell you there is a really good reason I came home wasted in the middle of the night
A tiny kingdom at the bottom of the trees
Where I was always a winner and I was usually right
Her husband looked a stranger to her for a minute. All angry jawed and narrowed eyes.
Even for someone who was a cyborg, and a new mother, she understand that coming home on Christmas with whiskey on her breathe was a pretty bad thing to do. Even if she hadn't exactly been out on a pub crawl, had instead spent the evening drinking and reminiscing with her twin, this probably wasn't a proud moment for Krillin to write in that annoying diary he had under lock and key in his bottom right desk drawer, under the dirty magazines he'd used as a diversion. ("I should have known…this one's a cooking magazine." "I did actually read that one." "And this gay porn?" "…I do not have to answer that." "You're so strange.")
"Where were you?"
"At my brother's. We had a few drinks. What?" She shrugged out of her jacket, and nearly fell over tossed it onto the couch.
"It's Christmas, and you were out drinking." Krillin had that judgmental look, of raised eyebrows and a creaky nasally voice that could make dogs howl. Not one that he usually directed at her, unless she'd done something insane, like trying to cook a soufflé without him, or informing him that she might be pregnant, or that maybe the recommendation that they should take Bulma up on her offer for fake paperwork that would allow them to get married.
There was a reason why she didn't usually drink. Things normally tethered down were shifted, brought out. Like…shame of disappointing her family. Shame of disappointing loved ones that led to crying.
"Oh god, I'm the worst mother in the world, aren't I?"
"What? No, no of course not. It's not a big deal. It's okay. Forget it."
Now, sniffling, having her husband push her hair away, Juuhachigou understood why Krillin and Marron cried to get out of trouble so much.
299. That Trip To The Hospital With Your Dad
It probably wasn't the best way to break it to her adopted father, during a party which he screaming at her brother for throwing, who had offered her a cigar. She'd declined, frantically waving it away. "No, it's not good for the—"
Right then time just about slowed down, but not enough for her to adjust and choose a different word.
The stupidest, worst word in the world in this context: "-baby."
Juunanagou had laughed. "What? What baby?"
Her mouth sealed shut. Everything was on her face: the date that ended in the back of her brother's van, lying there dazed and grinning besides Krillin, whose slack face was unable to form words for a good two minutes, his discovery of the broken condom he'd gotten from one of his worthless, idiotic friends, the name withheld out of fear of what she'd do to them, her own confident, 'oh, I'm sure it's fine.'
Juuhachigou, get pregnant? So young, and with her life ahead of her? No, no way was pregnancy in the cards, even if she was older and gainfully employed. She was not the motherly support, as the recent mark on Juunanagou from where she'd attempted to stuff him into the oven would support.
Only then she was puking and realizing that the bra she was wearing shouldn't be chaffing her nipples so raw. Her dumb confusion. And then memory of the cheap-ass condom floated before her mind, like the latest meal she'd vomited back up. She took a pregnancy test, sure still that there was some mistake, pregnancy was for other women, not her, no way.
But the plus sign was right there, impossible to mistake. Juuhachigou had thrown up again, just at the sight of it, and then managed to drag this sick, pregnant body to the phone to tell Krillin that they had to talk.
How the relief that she wasn't breaking up with him immediately disappeared when he understood what she was telling him. To give him credit, Krillin kept it together. "It's okay. I have a job. You can still go to school. I can stop going, to you know, save money. Since I have a couple semesters left. You want to get married? No? Oh. Are you having an abortion? You don't know? You should probably figure it out. I can pay for that, you know. Or if you want to keep the baby…?"
Which was a question she still didn't know.
Any of his stupid friends could have given him that dumb condom. Probably Yamcha, who'd egged them onto their first date. Or Goku, who had another kid on the way. Or maybe Vegeta, wanting revenge. She would sometimes think about who had handed him that dumb silvery thing, a cheerful voice 'here you go,' and wonder how many years she'd get for premeditated murder—surely Krillin wouldn't testify against her.
It was insane to go to classes, carrying a child inside her. Teachers would go on about nothing that mattered anymore, because she was fucking pregnant. And she still didn't know whether or not to keep it. It was like a part of her thought that someone would correct the mistake, and she'd wake up with everything back to normal, having never been pregnant at all. As probably every woman who'd ever gone through an unexpected pregnancy.
But then, she'd find herself looking at herself in the mirror, with just the tiniest suggestion of added weight in her stomach that Krillin said didn't affect her sexiness at all, right before she punched him. 'It's the hormones, I get it.' And then she didn't entire mind the thought of having a baby, when she was by herself and looking at her stomach and couldn't even hear the TV in the living room blaring on. When it was just her—just them. Her and her parasite.
Or with Krillin, when he was being quiet, and pushing his face against her, trying to listen for something. Half of him, even if his contribution and efforts weren't exactly equal to her own. Just the three of them.
"What. You're messing around. You're pregnant? Really? Oh my god, really? Not just fucking around with us."
How her might-as-well-be father had turned, horrified.
Well, he would have figured it out anyway. Since she might be keeping it, and that meant she was going to swell up. Plus, eventually the baby would pop out and begin yelling as it took up space. Gero was just looking at her, looking almost heart broken, and literally shocked, like her brother had stuck a fork in his hand, and then put it in a toaster. Staring at her, and seeing that she was a college student that had shunned his help, who was the reasonable 'good' twin, who was arguably better equipped for life than her more rebellious sibling.
And now, she was pregnant. Before she'd even graduated. Or was old enough to rent a car.
Juunanagou lit up that cigar in celebration of his party, the cigar a smelly thing he'd found in the 'misc.' drawer. "Who's the Dad?"
His name came out a sigh. "Krillin."
Gero made a gesture, reaching literally for his heart. Then keeled over at the twin's feet. It was a faster fall than the movies had suggested, and less graceful.
"…we should call 911, shouldn't we?"
"Yesh." He exhaled a plume of smoke. "Probably."
The things before her, like the old man at her feet turning blue and her own hands to flap at the air before her still seemed to belong to someone that was definitely not her. "Really. Put that out. Second hand smoke is bad for kids."
Krillin broke about at the dinner table, as he sat there, nearly weeping over his Master complaining about a broken dish.
"Now, son, you and Goku have to be more careful about this sort of thing."
It was just such a huge nothing to be talking about. He started to laugh, hitting the table with his hand hard enough to shake the silverware that remained. His life was quite possibly changed forever, and Master Roshi was talking about a broken dinner plate. Regardless of whatever happened, he was no longer the same man who'd moped about, depressed about being single. Had stopped being that man before he'd even opened the van door, before he'd lifted the crumbled condom, before he'd asked Juuhachigou that night if she was free. Right as he'd met Juuhachigou, his life had changed.
He wanted to have some grace about this, some inner peace rather than crying as he had been for the last month in the shower. Biting his tongue, losing weight, freaking out at the bathrooms at work. Everyone thought he must have been bipolar, and in a bad downward swing. Thankfully, his coworkers were his friends, who were used to his craziness. They just sent him back to do inventory more, and added encouragement where they could, and Bulma even promised him a raise next quarter—which he needed since he might have three whole new people to support in the apartment he shared with his Master and Oolong and Turtle. But they were his dear friends, no one better on the planet, excluding Juuhachigou.
Still, he wanted to murder Bulma for that bad condom.
Why had he even taken birth control advice from a woman who'd gotten pregnant just as accidentally as Juuhachigou had—because he'd thought such a smart woman would learn from her mistakes.
Goku, the closest thing he had to a brother, just stared at him over a bowl of strawberry ice cream. Goku, who'd married right after he'd dropped out of school, and had a child of his own. Whose life was held in both envy by Krillin, and sympathy, because being a teenage Dad and passing around resumes with a kid in a stroller wasn't easy.
But if Goku, who'd been basically raised in the country by wolves and grew up eating snakes, could do it, then so could Krillin. He'd given up his own strange vague dreams that had never gone beyond what he wanted to do for that day to attending preschool interviews with Chi-Chi.
The taller man worked at the same capsule store Krillin did, positions given to them by Bulma's string-pulling, but never seemed to work enough hours. Now, Krillin was joining his ranks as a working parent.
And he'd wanted—what he'd wanted was a stable relationship, marriage, then children when he had a real job and his girlfriend was no longer in college. After he'd become a successful writer. When he had a plan.
Not being forced into fatherhood after having lost his virginity in a van, using a defective condom, with a girl he did love, but was just old enough to legally drink since last month. Who didn't have any idea how to be a mother more than he did a father, and who'd had such potential with her grades and intelligence until he came along with a handful of daisies that he'd thought matched her hair and had so charmed her into taking off her pants for him.
"Sorry. So sorry. Woops. I broke a plate." Krillin grabbed a soup bowl, throwing it into a wall hard enough to shatter the porcelain. "Woops, broke another one! Look how clumsy I am! I won't do it again!"
He threw another plate across the room.
A lie was in there, 'never do it again,' considering that even though Juuhachigou was pregnant, and going through so much inner crap, he still regularly tried, and succeeded in sleeping with her. It should have destroyed his sex drive, what he'd done to her with his stupidity and carelessness. But he still wanted to kiss and touch her, and for whatever reason, Juuhachigou allowed him to. Though, last time she'd cried in the small flat that she shared with her twin brother, 'we shouldn't be doing this half-assed Romeo and Juliet bullshit. We're not supposed to even be friends. What are we going to do?'
But, yet, they still kept seeing each other.
And they weren't even using protection. She'd snarled when he'd pulled a condom out, 'oh, it's a little damn late for that.' And it was.
Krillin nearly sobbed without tears for a moment, before he got ahold of himself. Briefly.
"Also, I got Juuhachigou's pregnant."
His Master keeled over, knocking over his own plate. Goku stopped gaping at Krillin to stare at the old man, lying there on the carpet besides the table.
For a second, he laughed crazily. "C'mon, it's not that bad. I mean, we don't know if she's having twins. Yet.
"Master?
"Master Roshi?"
Goku looked shockingly somber, despite the smear of ice cream on his chin. "He's not moving, Krillin."
"I killed him, didn't I." His child would have to visit him in jail. Juuhachigou would probably not want to give him conjugal visits, since obviously she would get custody and move on with her life with a decent guy. Maybe it was for the best. Except for poor Master Roshi, his father, practically, being dead.
"I'm going to call 911. And then maybe Chi-Chi, to tell her about the news."
Goku clapped his back before running to the phone.
They saw each other in the waiting room, and seemed to know what had happened. "You told?"
"Yep."
"Heart attack?"
"Possibly just some cardiac arrest. We'll see."
"Huh." She took his hand and together they sat on the uncomfortable wooden chair. "I went through something similar myself."
"I guess we won't ask them to babysit."
Juuhachigou had to laugh at that one. "I guess we'll just use them for diaper money."
"Will we need diaper money?" Krillin squeezed her hand, not looking exactly at her.
"Maybe so."
"You know, after nine months, that decision's going to be made for us."
"Yeah." Her hand went to her stomach, as it had been doing constantly since she'd heard her own screams echoing in a public bathroom as she handled the pregnancy test with a numb hand.
"So, you wanna give this mess a go? Just roll with it?"
"You think acting casual is going to help with this?"
"Can it hurt?"
"Birthing this thing will. In fact, this entire process will be painful."
"I have thought this through. I am an adult, and I have a job. And a car. We can move in together. We'll go out and buy a crib. I'm serious. Why are you smiling? We'll get to know each other. I know we're young, but if we work at this, our relationship might survive."
"I'm just thinking as terrible as this is going to be, at least it's with you."
"Awwww."
"Go. Go check on the old man."
"You sure?"
"Yes. Now I'm going to sit here—"
"And think of baby names?"
"—I'm going to sit here, and wonder about Gero's will and whether or not I'm still in it after Juunanagou and I borrowed his car. That would buy us some diapers."
300. "Meaning what? You think they're all just misunderstood? That all they want is to be our friends?"
Krillin took one glance at them, at her, and then took off in the opposite direction. He nearly slid on the overturned rug, crashing into a side table, and then tore the door off its hinges as he lunged outside.
Juunanagou didn't even have time to give an amused glance at his sister before she took off after him. She'd never been one to wait. He and Juurokugou watched them through the window of Goku's small quant country house. His attempts at flying were quickly shot down by Juuhachigou, who jumped onto the panicked man's back.
"Hey, where are you going? I just want to play a little with you. Why are you screaming? I haven't even broken your arm. C'mon shrimp, I won't hurt you."