"Now son, there's one last thing I want to tell you about woman. They're different from us. They're soft and curvy…well maybe they're not that different. Except in this one way. They can smell fear. Once they've got their claws in you, there is no end to the horrors they can inflict." -Jay Sherman, the Critic.
Author's Note:
In which Krillin's roommates meet Juuhachigou repeatedly, the roof as well as Krillin's bed is defiled once again, Krillin's taste in women is questioned, and that Saiyan armor is finally discovered by Juuhachigou.
301. I Didn't Care, You Were The Most Exciting Thing I've Ever Know
It was a last ditch effort, devised by Krillin's roommates. They all remembered clearly the moping, the unshaven appearance, the misery he'd tried to hide with his smiles and behind training. This would have to work, because there was no other way to save their bald friend. Not from the downward trajectory that led him to cooing at the disturbed android that was now staying here (alongside her terrifying brother).
They realized, despite how much it might hurt in the immediate future, it was better than watching Juuhachigou snap as he teased her over a plate of mashed potatoes -only to get pushed out of his chair. "So you don't want more gravy?"
She made her cold twin look like the reasonable one, since all he would do was shoo Krillin away.
One day, she'd break his spine or something. And he'd go crawling back for more, because that's the kind of guy Krillin was.
Look at him, standing over the oven, wearing a sad apron, trying to get a nonplussed Juuhachigou to appreciate his cooking.
"Maron came back."
The muscles went slack in Krillin's face. The androids were looking at them like they were a curious sideshow, a three-headed goat that could do basic algebra. "What?"
"When you were out. Fighting certain mechanical beings."
Juunanagou rolled his eyes at his sister as she poured him another glass of wine.
"Oh. How was she?"
"Great. Beautiful."
"Stacked as always."
"Eh Good for her." The man turned back to the blonde machine, holding up a spoon for inspection and to taste. "Do you think this needs more pepper?"
Oolong threw a folded up newspaper at Krillin's head. "Don't you care? She showed up, all hot for you-"
The blonde android was one looking shocked now. "What?"
"Going on about your muscles. Said how much she missed you? How worried she was. She was begging for you to come back!"
"'To come back?' As in, you'd been there before. With her?"
"She used to be my girlfriend. Years ago."
"You had a girlfriend? A real girlfriend that went out in public with you? That referred to herself as your girlfriend?"
"Yeah. For a couple…couple of months."
"And now she came crawling back. You have the upper hand. For once."
"Yeah Krillin." Juuhachigou was looking at him without blinking. "Why don't you go crawling back to her?"
As though she didn't lead Krillin around by the short hairs, demanding his attention
"No, I'm done with her. She—we're done." Krillin was trying to reassure Juuhachigou—who in turn looked unimpressed. Her twin brother was looking at them, disgusted. "I'll never see her again."
His roommates could only sputter out a hopeless, "She liked you bald!"
302. But you are what you love, and not what loves you back, so I guess that's why you keep calling me back.
Whatever crazy feelings Krillin might have for her, waxing or waning, Juuhachigou clung to their existence.
She needed the reassurance, whatever foothold she could find, to make herself a little less crazy. He was aware of her cybernetic parts, was affectionate and sweet, and in love with her. So her feeling the same was completely understandable.
Okay, maybe not completely. Krillin was often nervous, always making bad jokes and, and there was the nose issue, and he was much weaker compared to herself. But still strong, for a regular human. His ease at just taking abuse and only fighting back when necessary tended to hide his power. Plus the short thing—though the way he'd look up at her with large dark eyes, trusting her entirely, and looking downright disorienting when he'd wear one of those orange gis with no shirt on underneath. Damnit.
For the most part, Juuhachigou thought she could handle some little crush from a guy that might be considered cute. In a puppyish way. His affections were unwanted, but not hated. A curiosity to poke at, like she would the scars on his forehead.
With that in mind, she felt safer buying him gifts, and making her own little comments and coming back to his room for more and more.
303. But you are what you love, and not what loves you back, so that's why I'm here on your doorstep, pleading for you to take me back.
Krillin hadn't expected to ever, ever see her again. It was best to take Juuhachigou at her word. So when she'd blasted off, cursing his existence and saying that she hoped to never see his face again, Krillin had taken what was left of his heart, crawled upstairs to collapse in his bed, and sob uncontrollably. Sure he'd ruined whatever chance he'd have through his usual mess of not being tall enough, or strong enough, or missing a nose, and being so aware of all his shortcomings.
For a week, he'd stayed like that. Wanting to open the window to fall onto the beach, and hope the tide came in to drown him.
Her at his window was a new level of cruelty from his imagination.
His ears almost missed her next words. "Do you want to go do something tonight? Like spar? Or watch another dumb movie downstairs? Please don't try karaoke again."
"Hi."
"Hi. Did you hear me?"
304. She May Be The Cure, But For Now She's The Torture
"Krillin!"
The aforementioned ex-monk squeaked, and then fell onto the floor from the couch. Then he crawled like a paratrooper towards the window. To shift, and then close the curtains completely. "Master. Run."
"Who is that? Is it that blonde girl you were-?"
There was a knock on the door that somehow managed to shake the whole house. "Where are you?!"
"I really think you should leave now, Roshi."
The turtle hermit watched Krillin huddle up before the window. Despite the terrifyingly pissed-off android outside his door, it had been some time he'd seen his student had been seen with a woman. Showing so much emotion towards a girl, more than he had in three years. It was encouraging to see him out there again, trying to date.
"I just don't understand you kids anymore. Is this your way of flirting nowadays?"
305. Well I'm falling
Considering she'd been the one to push him, he thought it only fair she help him back to his house. Reluctantly, she'd agreed. After looking down at him, at his curled form around his twisted ankle. Her sighing. Him trying not to smile or look moderately happy.
"Ow. This really huurtts."
"Stop whining."
…all he'd wanted was an arm thrown around her shoulder. Or just a shoulder to lean on.
This was really just revenge for helping her get away from Cell. No good dead went unpunished with Juuhachigou around. And she wasn't very steady either. The proximity to her was nice, yes, but not this way, never this way.
He'd gotten to hold her during her injury, and now Juuhachigou was returning the favor.
"I could just drag you, you know."
"No. I guess this is alright."
306. Haven't Felt This Way In a Long Time
He woke up with a delirious grin on his unshaven face and a scream held behind his teeth.
What the hell was wrong with him, for thinking, for thinking about that. Gap-toothed smiles and trusting eyes, blue eyes turned up towards him. Bubbles in a bathtub and small hands pushing a rubber duck at him like Goten would when being given his bath.
That dream should have been long dead. For so many reasons, it was stupid to even think about.
Really. There was no way Juuhachigou would want to have kids with him.
307. You Had Us All Standing On Our Heads, Doing Our Best Tricks
Of course, of course he wasn't the only person to notice what an amazing person she was. While his friends had also seen her at her worse, and had somehow dismissed her as 'just an android' and therefore not a desirable woman, strangers hadn't. They were just as stricken as he was, taking discreet double takes at those legs. Even Yamcha, a fellow fighter that knew what was behind the pale perfect face, had commented a few times about her attractiveness.
'That cute android chick.' 'That pretty android girl.' 'She was kinda hot. Bet she's dating someone already, so maybe you should move on.' '…blonde and cute and female after all. Competition's gotta be rough…'
Juuhachigou was rougher than the competition, in so many ways.
For all her glaring and coldness, she pulled men (and even some women) in like moths to a dizzying light. And just like that light, she had literally electrocuted them and had left them twitching on the ground.
She did look like she was regretting that now, to be fair. And she hadn't killed any of them.
Now it was only him left standing.
They stared at each, waiting for the other to make the first move. Not unlike when he'd confronted her on that island, armed with only a remote in one hand, and his sickening affections in the other, weighting them. Only this time, he wasn't afraid of Cell arriving to hurt her.
Now he only worried about her rejecting him. At least with Cell, he'd known what to do.
"Don't look at me like that. They're not dead. And they were annoying me. Like you are, staring at me like that."
"Fou?"
"What?"
"Yes."
"What?"
"Would you like a drink?"
She thought about that. "Yes."
Now he was two steps ahead of the competition.
308. It's Tough To Have a Crush On You
She, dear Kami, was back. It was like that monkey paw situation: he'd gotten his wish to meet a pretty girl that might like him, had gotten a kiss, and then had the chance to see her again. Only horribly wrong in every way.
She wasn't even a girl, exactly! A machine. Or maybe a girl, but one that was only part robot. And who had a scary boyfriend that was standing right there. Helping her threaten Piccolo to reveal the location of their friend, so they could murder him.
It wasn't easy to wrap his mind around the fact that soon they were going to die. Soon, if not exactly now. By Cell or by the android's pale gloved hands. Gloves, why was she wearing gloves? And that slim golden bangle. To match the old-fashioned watch band and triangular badge on her vest, over the right…on her right side.
Then she was laughing at him, while just gaped upward at the angelic sight and sound. Then she took off to go help her boyfriend kill one of his friends.
309. Rendezvous, then I'm Through With You
This time, he became half-way conscious during it. At least had would have this memory, after Juuhachigou would leave before he got up. Then disappear to wherever and leave him to worry about her. Never a word after the first time, nothing beyond mutters not understood, with him trying to be as silent as possible given the circumstances.
She thought he was still asleep, and he found that he was willing to go along with that.
"Guess who?"
"Juuhachigou? Hah, what are you-oh, wait. please, don't. Stop. What are you doing?"
310. Her Father Took One Look At Me, and He Began To Squeal
This was probably the most awkward dinner of her life. The pig looked like he'd been nailed to the seat, and the old man kept looking at her, as though expecting Only the turtle was polite to the new guest. Him, and Krillin.
'So what's wrong with her?' was the first thing the shape-shifter had asked Krillin. Right after she'd had her jacket politely removed from stiff shoulders, and had been announced as his girlfriend.
Was it wrong to feel a small curl of pleasure over his protectiveness? 'There's nothing wrong with her! Don't say things like that!'
'Alright. Settle down you two.' There was a grin beneath the grey beard. She could have slapped the sunglasses and leering look on his face off, but that might have upset Krillin—for whom she was trying so hard to make happy. 'What's your name, miss?'
'Juuhachigou.'
'…as in number Eighteen?'
Then they were nearly screaming, squealing, and ultimately freaking out. And from there, things headed downhill. Krillin ran interference, no, no you guys, she's—well, she's not harmless, but she won't hurt anyone. So long as there wasn't any grabbing. No, she's not blackmailing me, oh, shut up Oolong, I'm not blackmailing her either. Yeah, she's one of the androids we were warned about by Future Trunks ('what?' 'I'll explain later, hon.'), but she wouldn't and hasn't hurt anyone.
'Hon?'
'But, so, she's here for dinner. Which I will make in just a second.'
Leaving her to fend for herself in this pink house.
"So, is it all mechanical?"
"Shut up."
Whatever had been in her voice, on her face, as she said that, had been intimidating, given the fact that the pig and the old man began to scream out to Krillin for the help that she should have gotten.
311. You Used To Think Someone Would Come Along, and Lay Beside You In The Space That They belong
Their first night together was spent on the cold wood floor, and later, curled around each other beneath sheets pulled down from his too-small bed. Juuhachigou had opened her eyes only to complain about that, and to tell him that first thing in the morning, they were going to get a bigger bed.
312. The Roller Coaster Makes Me Sick and She Knows It
Of course Krillin had no idea why she liked forcing him on the dumb thing. Maybe he thought it was only sadism, or that she really did enjoy going boringly slow while the humans behind them screamed for it to stop. He was too oblivious to the fact that Juuhachigou liked it when he'd cling to her, muttering how dumb he was being, but oh, oh god, no, no, over and over again while she could pet his head unnoticed. Could practically hold him while he stumbled down the steps back towards the crowds.
"What about that ride over there next?"
313. Would You Like To Come Over and Kill Some Time?
Yamcha found him tied to the chimney like that. From the ropes and chains and duck tape surrounding the short man, the scarred ex-banding deducted that he couldn't pull himself free without taking half the roof with him. So for now Krillin was just sitting there, pulled tightly to the brick, waiting. Completely naked except for strategically placed bonds that still revealed way too much of his friend. The friend that he hadn't seen much of lately, and hadn't answered his call to see if he wanted to do something this Saturday.
It was impossible not to smirk. "I see you retiring from fighting hasn't stopped that adventurous spirit."
"Yeah, that's me. Mister Adventure."
"So…who is she?"
Krillin cleared his throat, trying for dignity. It must have been the monk training that did it, because it was getting cold out here on this fine morning. "You know. Maybe I shouldn't say."
"Because she left you out here?"
"That, and I don't think she'd be too happy to hear me talking about her."
"What's she going to do, leave you tied up and naked somewhere for your friends to find you?"
One of the bonds was slipping down from his waist. "That's too."
"Is she coming back, Krillin?"
"Yeah. This isn't the first time."
"So she's a sadist. That does seem your type. Can I meet her?"
He swallowed convulsively. "You already have."
Yamcha sighed. "Do you want me to help you out of there, or leave you for Master Roshi or Juuhachigou or Oolong to find?"
314. Don't Touch Me Please, I Cannot Stand the Way You Tease
It was even worse than when she'd first kissed him, in a way. The situation was ten times scarier, because Cell did not just beat people up as the androids had, but would instead just murder everyone. There was no reason to even let that thought cross his mind. She sure wouldn't have appreciated him thinking about her that way in any situation, let alone life or death.
So what the hell was wrong with him, to think about how nice if somewhat bony her butt had felt when she'd crashed into him.
315. There's No Jealousy, Because She's My Little Pipedream Fantasy
It was nothing like his other crushes. Because obviously Juuhachigou was so different from the other women in his life, the opposite of what he'd thought he'd fall in love with. But he'd never felt so jealous before in his life as seeing other men trying to talk to her.
Not even Maron, his actual girlfriend had riled him up so badly. And she would actually flirt back with the men. Same thing with Bulma, whom he'd had a crush on for years and years without a backward glance in his direction. Bulma, who would complain to him about the other men in her life and not know how sick he'd feel to hear all about her romantic life and had never once shown any interest in him.
He was 'a masochist,' as Oolong had once gasped out to him, when learning of his infatuation with Juuhachigou. 'And don't think we didn't see you all gaga over that curly-haired alien chick.'
Juuhachigou was sullen, unresponsive, rude to all that approached her, and Krillin could have kissed her for that alone–amongst other things. That is, to say, he appreciated, if hopelessly, that she wasn't seeing anyone. As selfish as that sounded. Horribly selfish. Not that he wanted to do more to her than kiss her, well, not because she was single anyway. Not that he should even be sitting here, thinking such things, because that laser blue gaze of Juuhachigou could so easily read his mind and leave him scrambling to say that no, I was just looking at your...collarbone. To be met with a wide stare and a shift further away.
There was no way that she'd ever pick him sexually speaking over say that tall handsome gentleman in the corner trying to make eyes with her, but he was safe. She knew he wouldn't pressure her into anything, and could be counted on keeping all his limbs to himself.
He was short and dorky, and a perfect gentleman. Wouldn't even think of noticing how high that skirt when up when she crossed her legs, or how pretty she looked sipping from a straw, that her foot was now tracing up his calf.
316. Swimming Through the Isles Of The Grocery Store, I Don't Even Know What I'm Looking For
Their carts crashed into each other before they realized who the other was. Krillin had nearly landed onto the toppled cereal boxes while she could at least tell herself that she'd been more graceful. There had been some dignity, to make up for riding on the cart like that, mind and eyes not in front of her. That Krillin had been doing the same childish thing did not help.
At three in the morning, in a nearly empty grocery store, things lost perspective. Fluorescent lights and lemon scented tile did not help the Kafkaesque quality of looking for vanilla pudding and iceberg lettuce past midnight. People looked different at such a time, their expressions turned mean.
Krillin just lay there, appearing nothing like the fighter he was.
"Oh. There's the Poptarts."
317. He's Looking for Love In All The Wrong Places."—Sonny Strait, on Krillin
It was stupid, sure, but still, Krillin had to ask Gohan about her. "So, that Zangya girl, Bojack definitely killed her?"
"Yeah, I think so. Why?" Impossible to exactly elaborate on his interest to a twelve-year-old with nothing more desperate or lust-filled than getting another ice cream cone from the nice vender. Impossible, really, to talk about his love life with someone, a child, who had ice cream on his nose. Really, it had been just another dumb idea in a long desperate line of them.
"Oh. No reason."
318. I Just Want A Lover Like Any Other; What Do I Get?
Considering his best friends were married to aliens/crazy women, maybe it wasn't so surprising that his love life was so off kilter and pointed to the dramatic. A normal sweet girl that maybe was a fan of martial arts and romantic comedies, with dark eyes and hair. A little like Launch, when she was the nice version.
But nope, oh no, a normal human girl? Better to hold a pathetic crush for his best female friend, one never spoken or mentioned to anyone aloud. Better to flirt with an alien woman that had cold-eyed and a lot of curly orange hair that begged for a hand to run through it. Better to stutter and then date around a blue-haired woman with cloud grey eyes that was more interested in every other man on the planet than him.
From now on, it was a new day. He had to whip open the curtains and open the window to let in fresh salt air.
I will find a normal girl. One day. We will move to a nice house in the suburbs with no perverts around. Have three kids, maybe.
…I just need to find her before the androids show up and murder us all.
319. "Yo, Krillin here."
Juuhachigou's sanity caught up with her, and she shoved the payphone's receiver back down onto its grimy cradle. Nope, hearing that nasally voice hadn't helped her at all. What the hell could she have even said to him? 'How've you been?' Idiotic. Better to just keep away from the shrimp.
Still, she got the creeping sensation that he'd known that it hadn't been a wrong number.
320. If You Could Read My Mind
Everyone's eyes slid to Bulma's latest invention. At her grin that was devoid of mercy and sanity. "It reads people's thoughts!"
Those eyes slid down to eye the device. "Huh."
"And then says them aloud!"
Yamcha threw his hands up first. "Welp, I'll see you guys later."
"This is worse than the lie detector test you had us all hooked up." Only to ask Vegeta questions that not even the murderous space pirate should have been subjected to. The contraption so cleverly designed into the gravity chamber he used and leaving him unable to escape without messing up what he needed to train. 'Fine! I was looking at your chest! You never cease to shove it into my face! But I was not looking at your annoying Mother's ass!"
"C'mon! I thought we could play a game. Like truth or dare. But really truth or dare."
Krillin's grin went crooked. "I—well, maybe." How much could he have left to hide anyway? Oh, what's that, you do have a sickening puppy dog crush on Juuhachigou? We had no idea.
Bulma gave him a high-five that had to be returned. "Yeah, Krillin gets it. C'mon. We're all friends here. Who's first?"
Then there was a sound similar to: BAAMCH asJuuhachigou and Vegeta tore through the east and west wall respectively, in their haste to get away.
321. All I'm Saying, Pretty Baby…
"I'm not really into the whole Saiyan look. But you in black isn't bad."
"You're the one that insisted I put this thing on. It gives me some bad memories..." Krillin looked down at the still-white glove. Flawlessly clean as when he'd first put it on, in a strange ship, commanded to by an evil space pirate, while they camped on an alien world. It had traveled with him to Earth, by way of the Otherworld. He'd seen Goku turn Super Saiyan in this, his friends brought back to life. He had worn this after being revived for the second time, then had gone home with his Master and friends. Had taken it off, then kicked it under his bed. Hadn't touched it since pulling the last of the black material off his legs.
His hair, noticed only by Juuhachigou, had been mussed by shoving his head through the small opening. Maybe that's why Vegeta's hair was always so spiky. At least the alien had done something right by giving Krillin this outfit.
"You died in that dumb orange outfit. And that one doesn't have a hole to show off your abs." Juuhachigou felt like she should be eating peeled grapes or dark chocolate as she watched him.
"That's because I was stabbed in the stomach by a giant horn."
"I see."
"Then I was blown up. In this suit."
"Those shorts are ridiculous. Also, those shoulderpads. And what exactly are those things on your legs, just hanging there?"
"You'd have to ask Vegeta about that."
"Then I'd prefer to never know." No matter how playful her voice was, Krillin couldn't bring himself to smile. "This is supposed to be fun, Krillin."
"I prefer it when you were wearing that cowgirl outfit."
"Don't remind me."
"I'm having flashbacks. This is enough. How do I get this off?!"
"Here, let me help. Don't rip your own hair out."
"I hate this thing."
"Okay. It's okay." She brushed hair out of his eyes, the same color as his skin tight leotard number. Away from his sweat forehead. Between his expression and size, he looked even younger than normally. Sweet and defenseless. That was what had charmed her from the get-go.
"Better without the armor. Or this." She tugged at what he had on left. Krillin did look like some long-lost Saiyan, missing the tail, except for that face that was never meant for furious scowls as he decimated another world. "Maybe."
She took off the gloves, pushing him forward to get a better look at him from the back of his head down to the back of his boot. "Let's see."
322. I know you're coming in the night like a thief
"Are you serious?"
"Just hold me steady. He should be here in a second."
But they both overestimated her skinny brother's strength at holding her up so she could see over the fence. Sending them both falling heavily into the trash cans that needed to be taken out to the curb and into the splintery heavy fence that felt like cinderblock against a defenseless shoulder that was covered by a cleverly dark t-shirt, and nothing else.
"Where's your stupid boyfriend?" Juunanagou hissed out, holding his arm.
"He's supposed to be here at midnight. 'Right by the fence.' Ow. Ow."
There were footsteps that froze them both.
Her twin had turned out to be agreeably liberal when it came to whom she dated ("So long as it gets you out of my hair."), but Krillin's friends had no problem badmouthing them at every turn and starting fights. And they were always here, hanging out with Krillin during another barbeque that had her falling asleep at her desk, an econ book as a pillow, while she waited for them to leave so he could finally call her. 'You know, you can just stop by. They're okay with you. Mostly.' 'I think I'll pass.' To fall back asleep while he went on about those people only to wake up with dawn peeking through the heavy black curtains and his snores heard through the receiver.
Which only made her feel more wistful for him. They'd yet to spend a full real night together; those telephone calls were the closest thing. So far those calls and hours spent in deserted parts of the library, kissing and holding hands, and movies they had to show up separately at, were the extent of their courtship. His group of friends was large and gossiping, and so was her adopted family.
She'd never understood so many popular teen movies, or hated so much Shakespeare until she met Krillin. A part of her despised how happy the sound of her phone made her, or the little notes he'd slide into her locker, or that she counted down the days until college with even more vigor. Nothing would change/everything would change once they got there. Despite her maturity (which she thought she did possess, never mind the slap fights with her twin), she maybe still believed that things would change with an audible click once she became a legal adult.
Whoever it was threw themselves up onto the fence to hang there and look over the top. "What—Juuhachigou?"
"Hi there." Her grin was immediate, despite her twin rolling his eyes. Krillin just grinned right back. You could see his teeth through the gaps in the boards.
"I was afraid you weren't going to show up, babe."
"What, and miss hanging out with the garbage, honey?"
"Er. Yeah. I meant the other wall. By the roses…hi Juunanagou. Wanna come over? Both of you? There are, surprisingly, leftovers."
"Just give us a second." They both jumped up and tried to maneuver upward without shoving the other to the ground or getting splinters.
"Wait. Hang on. I'll just open the latch."
"Wild roses and leftovers. Your boyfriend knows how to treat you."
"Oh shut up. At least I have one. And he is nice, isn't he?" They practically fell into each other, in their relief and joy at the reunion. Juunanagou could be ignored, even as he poked at Krillin's head.
"That old man has beer, at least, right?"
323. S/He liked his coffee with...
It was best not to think about how she'd awoken, and stumbled down the hall to the kitchen, blinded, hair a mess, face still bearing the shock of alcohol. The cold tiles were a jolt to her system, cybernetic enhanced or not. A system that informed her of dehydration and queasiness and a sore throat and bruised muscles.
Her brother sat at the table, holding a mug of something that gently steamed. Every time she blinked, her head pounded. There was a smugness to the dark-haired cyborg, the neat clothes that weren't picked up from the ground after a long blurred night that held memories she ignored. "Oh. You didn't die of alcohol poisoning."
"Shut up." Blindly, Juuhachigou groped for the coffee. "I don't want to hear it. You think I want to relive that?"
"So you do remember it all?"
"…most of it."
"But not everything." Juunanagou smiled. It was not a kind expression.
All she could do was fill her mug, and brace herself. Nothing could really deter her twin brother when he wanted to annoy someone.
"Remember at all dancing on a table?"
"You're lying."
"Search your feelings. You know them to be true."
The grain of the table was enough to make her feel sick. "I hate you."
"You want to hear how you sang 'No Scrubs.'"
She massaged her eyelids. "No. Oh god, no."
Someone opened the patio door with an echoing 'sheeeaaak.' Slowly, Juuhachigou moved her gaze westward, towards the glittering sunlight and the third person that she could not recall inviting back to her house, and oh, oh, fuck her life, it was not even a stranger.
Krillin stared at her, ridiculous in his shorts and her t-shirt, carrying a plate of pancakes. "Hey, Juuhachi.
Her twin brother's eyes had iced over. "Apparently, he didn't listen close enough to the lyrics of your impromptu karaoke concert. Or maybe you didn't."
"What are you doing?" Stupidly, the blonde woman's hands fell downward, as though she could cover the exposed skin that way. Her knees had never felt colder.
"I made breakfast." Looking at her through the innocent, non-hungover face, abdominal muscles visible through the tight t-shirt that she'd been wearing last night. Why was he wearing her clothes? "Juunanagou said that the oven didn't work, so I went outside to use the grill."
The short fighter sat down, in-between the twins. Then bounced up with a twittering, "Oh, you need more coffee, Juuhachi? Here."
Refilling her cup, leaning in much too close, as though she couldn't murder him bloodily, make him shriek and beg for mercy. Smiling and looking deeply into her bemused eyes. The machinery in her head provided his movements in slow motion, really searing the sight of him pouting the smallest amount as he lowered himself the tiniest degree to kiss her cheek, a sensation that lasted a minute even as the gesture was completed in less than five seconds. Refilling her coffee. Him practically hopping back to his seat that creaked in a way that opened a new Pandora's Box as her brain slid forward memories, feet swinging two inches from the floor.
Blue eyes were looking across the span of the wooden table, asking wordlessly, 'why, why did you bring this into our home?' They'd been doing so well avoiding the vigilantes that would have loved nothing more than to destroy both of them. Perhaps this was some sort of espionage, to get them to commit suicide.
324. Jesus Christ, That's a Pretty Face. The Kind You'd Find on Someone That You Could Save.
"I'm sorry Krillin." Dende was looking at him, saddened. "She's not waking up."
"What do you mean—" He could feel a scream welling in his throat. "Why not?"
"She was hurt mechanically, somehow. I can't heal that, only the human part. I'm sorry—"
His fault, all his fault. Too weak to press the button, too weak to defend her.
Krillin looked over her, looking for some clue as to what to do. At her defenseless form lying there, the blue eyes closed, the hair unmoving on her forehead, lying there at their feet or at his own knees as he fell to her side. With Dende standing there, looking miserable for his first failure as Guardian of Earth.
"Juuhachigou?"
He would have given anything for her to wake up then. For her to rage at being handled like a child, at his concern, as she was sure to do. For her to be indifference to his feelings and want nothing more than to return to Juunanagou. For her even to threaten him with violence. Anything so long as it meant those eyelids would open in a flutter of dark lashes and pale irises.
There had to be something, they'd tried so hard to save everyone, to go through everything and lose—her. It made him wish for Trunks' time machine to go back and fix all this. More than ever. Even if it wouldn't help this timeline, to just know that she was alive somewhere, actually conscious and not a murderess, then Krillin could breathe again.
Bulma. Bulma could fix this. She'd created that remote, maybe all came down to was making another remote, and pressing that button. Mechanical problem, not a biological one.
"I'm taking her to Capsule Corp. Maybe Bulma can help."
Yamcha had moved closer, when realizing that she hadn't awoken. That his friend was losing his mind because of it. "Krillin, man, what are you doing?"
"Just wish everyone back." Krillin picked her up, as tenderly as possibly. Her face as sweetly relaxed as ever. Did she know somewhere in there, behind those closed eyes that she was safe? Could she sense that, as she had Cell's rising rage and power as he'd fought Gohan. Would she call out, wordlessly, in some turmoil? Was she dreaming?
"Are you sure about this?" Future Trunks looked like he wanted to stop him.
He could nearly smile at his friends, to show that he hadn't completely let slip all of his marble. There were a few, if chipped, still rolling around his bald head. He was so tired, feeling the pain of fighting Cell, despite the senzu bean taken earlier, the energy given to help distract Cell. All of it tearing at him as he failed again. It'll be okay. There will be a way to fix all of this, all of it. Please. "I've got to help her. It's my fault she's like this."
"Oh, good of you to wake up. Finally." But the woman's grin was pleased despite the acid in her voice.
Juuhachigou nearly blasted her in two until sanity prevailed. She could remember Cell descending on her, the suffocation and claustrophobia, no way out. With a shudder, she remembered losing her brother to that tail.
"Where's—" Everything.
"Your clothes are over here. Freshly cleaned. You're welcome. Nice pearls, by the way."
"My clothes?" Her eyes moved away from the possible enemy to take in what she was wearing. Hospital gown covered by a blanket that matched the walls. Even her earrings had been removed.
There was a stuffed bear digging into her elbow, and she shove it out of her bed. "What the hell is this?"
"Krillin. He even brought you cards." She rolled her eyes. "And flowers."
"Krillin…brought me here?" The short bald human that had grown up with Goku. Good warrior with ki. Strongest human on Earth. Easily frightened into speech and a hero type.
The man who'd brandished a remote controller at her, only to break it. Who'd fought briefly with Cell in hopes of her getting away. Who blushed when he looked her straight in the eyes.
"Yep. Carried you here from God knows where. Vouched for you." There was steel in those blue eyes. "But Krillin's a sucker for a pretty face."
Casually, the woman that Juuhachigou realized was Bulma Brief of Capsule Corp and friend of Goku, pulled out the emergency suspension controller. "I always like to keep spares on hand, android."
So she was at Capsule Corp. A large yellow domed building in West City. "You know who I am?"
"Yeah, the name's kind of a big clue."
"What happened?" Juuhachigou asked.
"Gohan beat up Cell. You were spat out. Krillin brought you here. He was thinking you were in some coma, which maybe you were. There wasn't much to do besides wait for you to wake up. All systems were online, and all that. You were probably lucky to wake up again. We couldn't exactly run you through a CAT scan.
"So, I guess we need to lay some ground rules down." Bulma tapped the corner of the remote against a plain wooden cabinet. The flowers sitting in a vase atop it waved cheerfully from the slight vibration. Baby's breath and yellow tulips. "And before you even try anything, you should know that there are two Saiyans upstairs that would be perfectly happy to see you end up a new trash compactor in my lab. Krillin would be sad, but I'm sure he'd understand in time it was for the best."
"I see." Those Saiyans wouldn't of course keep this woman from getting her neck snapped, but it would prevent Juuhachigou from escaping unscathed after such an act. "What rules are those?"
"One. You will not hurt anyone. In any way."
"Obviously."
"Two. You will be polite to Krillin."
"What?"
"In fact, you'll be polite to everyone. Keep a civil tongue, or else Vegeta will remove it. He's done worse to people who have done less, believe me."
"Fine. Whatever."
The blue eyes were focusing elsewhere. "You owe Krillin, I have to say. He came in practically in tears, determined to save you. Made me fix you up again. It's really hard to say no to the puppy dog eyes, I feel I have to warn you now. Common decency."
"Speaking of which…" Bulma pressed a button on an intercom set into the pale blue walls. "Hey, Krillin, done changing the android's bedding. And I think she's waking up, so you might want—"
You could hear his shoes squeaking against the tile outside as he came running.
Krillin was unshaven all around that round face, wearing only the pants of a tattered torn gi, and a white t-shirt. "Juuhachigou!"
"You're okay." He was practically reeling, pale. "You're awake."
From the growth of hair that not even Gero's files had ever mentioned, she guessed she'd been out of it for a while. Maybe a week. He looked ready to crawl into that bed and check on her state. Hands falling onto the blanket, clasped together and white-knuckled with strained. The air smell of rubbing alcohol and faint perfume from the flowers and his sweat. Juuhachigou wanted to yell for Bulma to call this puppy dog off.
"Yeah. She's doing just fine."
"Really, you're really okay?" His laugh was shaky. "We were so worried."
"'We'?" It was bad enough being here with a snide Greek chorus in the background.
What she wanted was her twin, more than anything. She felt the rising panic and fear, and choked it tightly between her fingers. "I'm fine. Where's my brother?"
He wasn't blushing so much now when they made eye contact. "Brother?"
"And Juurokugou? What happened to them?"
"Brother. You mean. Oh, Juunanagou. He's your brother. Wow. That's, hah." His smile was loose and aimed at nothing. "No, I haven't seen him since…he showed up at Kame House."
"Krillin, give her a chance to breathe."
He backed up. Finally. "Sorry."
"Go get some coffee and something to eat. She's okay."
"Yeah. I know." No one in her memory had ever grinned at her like that, all delighted at her very existence. It awoke some budding blush she struggled to contain, some crawling in her lower stomach. Her brother. She needed her twin there. What had that woman done to her, could this be blamed on her? Krillin's eyes just about ate her alive, in a very different way than Cell had done. That gaze touching on her forehead, her nose, her mouth, her arms and chest. Loosing focus further downward as he lowered his head.
Oh, god, what was this now?
"In six months, we can collect the dragonball again, and wish for you to be human. Er. More human. You and your brother."
"What are you talking about?"
"I thought you knew." Krillin ran a hand through his incredibly short stubble. An unfamiliar gesture. "About the dragonballs?"
"What?"
"We use them to make magic wishes," Bulma broke in. "Like a genie. And Krillin managed to talk the rest of the guys to use the second wish, eventually, to help you. You and your brother."
She made an indescribable face at Krillin, who shrugged helplessly. Over what, Juuhachigou didn't know.
"You—" She grabbed at his hand, squeezing his wrist hard enough to make him wince. Bulma shifted, noticeably. "You want to make me human?"
"More. I don't know. Take out the parts?" Krillin read her expression correctly. "If you want?"
"I—" Do not want. I want to be human. I want…I want.
He seemed able to read whatever was on her face again rightly. "We have time. You can think it over. We just wanted to help, if it would make your life easier."
"I'll get you something from the cafeteria. Right?" He turned to look at Bulma. "That's okay right?"
There was a small smile on the other woman's face. "Right. Go get her some Jello, Krillin."
The short fighter had to laugh. "I'm serious. I'll get something. Do you want something in particular, Miss Juuhachigou?"
"I'm not particularly hungry." Which was the truth. Just thinking about his offer, about what her brother might want, what she should do, what she wanted…Gero was dead. Cell was dead.
"Juurokugou? What happened to him?"
Krillin was no longer laughing. "He…was okay, from Cell. We brought him here, but then at the tournament, Cell…"
"He's dead?"
"I'm sorry. He was a nice guy."
He was a nice machine. No, that was cruel…but he had been a good machine. A friend. "What tournament?"
"Cell had a tournament, like a game. He challenged the strongest fighters, one by one, to beat them. Goku…Goku didn't make it. And he decided not to be wished back." Were those tears in his eyes? "But Gohan got him."
Her own eyes were dry. Did she want to be human, like him, could she be like him? To feel grief for Juurokugou? Could she feel grief? Could she not feel grief? How would she even know what that was supposed to feel like?
'A game.' Did he hate her for her own part in what had happened? His friend was dead, if partially because of her. If Cell hadn't arrived, they would have tracked the Saiyan down and killed him anyway. Because it would have been funny. She could feel amusement (a trembling cheek, eyes as scared as a rabbit before a wolf) but not grief or sadness. And fear, though only recently.
She tucked a strand of hair out of her eyes.
"I'm going to get you something downstairs. It'll make you feel better. When you get your strength back, we can look for your brother. All of us. It'll be easier that way. We'll find him, don't worry."
What was that, sympathy? We both lost someone? Is that what he was thinking? The cyborg didn't need her programming or Bulma's comments to let her know that Krillin had probably scarcely left her unconscious side.
She watched Krillin leave.
Maybe in time grief and sadness would come. Why would Gero allow her to feel anger and amusement, resentment, but not guilt? She was only a machine, why think she might have a conscious that would need to be hidden?
"I know. 'What was that?'" Bulma said from a long distance away.
Juuhachigou turned to stare at her.
"I bet he really is going to bring back some Jello for you." She sighed. "You should just be glad I didn't say you needed a kiss from your true love to wake you up."
"I think I'd like my clothes now. And a shower, if that's not too much to ask. Then I will leave."
"Sorry. But I think you're going to stay here."
She sneered. The room was much emptier with the short man here. "You do?"
"Oh, yeah. You're going to hang out here for a while. To make sure everything's okay. Eat some Jello. Then listen to Krillin. He's serious. You'll have an easier time finding your brother with help. You know that. You're strange, but not dumb."
"I'm strange."
"Yeah. You are." Bulma broke into laughter. "But that's okay. We're all a little strange around here."
"Especially him."
"Sure. That's Krillin. But you should be thankful he's an oddball, because he's also an optimistic oddball, and he made sure that no one killed you. It's not so bad," she assured the other woman. "Being around us. There's usually something interesting happening. We all tend to help each other.
"Especially Krillin. Who's also single." There was a disturbing waggle of blue eyebrows.
"Stop it."
"Just hang out here. While you figure out your next move. Hey, it's either here or Kame House."
Where Krillin lived. With Krillin.
"You'll get some perspective, and some new clothes. How about that?"
325. What the hell are you waiting for?
Krillin was the one to stop Bulma from going behind their backs and ruining their plans. Usually, that was Yamcha. And lately, Vegeta, who'd destroyed a suit she'd been making in hopes of showing up to help them fight the androids—a thing she was determined to do, regardless of their insistence that she stay away. Perhaps the Saiyan was learning mercy. Or maybe he just liked destroying things that Bulma worked hard at making?
She'd been about to use a scuba to deep sea dive, miles east of Kame House. It had only been dumb luck for Krillin to even be out this far, just searching for islands to train at that didn't have any people to be frightened by the loud commotion. His Master had sent him that way with a swat on the head after his pupil had ruined another stack of magazines from the force of the tidal waves he'd caused. It had taken just one glance at a distance for Krillin to know that she was holding the dragon radar.
He'd clutched the thing to his own body numerous times on Namek, had dreams about the green screen and nightmares where he'd drop it flying over a green sea only to drop it right into Frieza's hands.
"Bulma, what are you doing?" As though he couldn't piece together what her plan was. She'd been the only one to disagree with their decision to wait for the androids to arrive.
"Krillin. Hey there."
"Bulma. What are you doing?"
It was too late to even hide the radar. "What, this? Um. I really did want that lifetime of strawberries…and a decent boyfriend. I'm torn between choosing one or the other."
"So you're not collecting the dragonballs to stop Gero?"
"…"
"Uh-huh."
"Krillin, c'mon, I know you're not like those other—no, you know what, they are morons. I'm going to just say it. They are, and we know it. They're going to get everyone killed, those jackasses."
"Bulma, no. We agreed. As a group, we agreed to join together and fight those machines."
"It was a stupid decision. And you know it. Why don't you come with me? It'll be like old times?"
"I—" Yes, there were times in quiet moments of reflection where he wondered if they shouldn't go out and stop Gero now. Two more years and eight months, two more years and six months, two more years and one month, they will be here, and then we will fight for our lives again. Again, Kami help them if he could. A little more than two years now, and he could be dead right now alongside his friends. Sometimes he would almost dream of them, even if he had yet to set his eyes on them.
"We can't."
"Yeah, yeah. We need an enemy to keep us all together, huh? It'll be very comforting to know Vegeta has my back as we're all murdered by the androids."
"That kid, when he warned us, he gave Goku medicine, and told us to prepare ourselves to fight the androids right? But he didn't say to gather the dragonball and wish for them not to be created. Maybe there's a reason why. Maybe we do have to fight those androids?"
Her fluffy hair was moving in the light sea breeze, face turned upward. Even for such a beautiful woman, Bulma looked unbelievably gorgeous set against the blue sun and sea. Right. Beautiful and untouchable and Krillin almost wanted to just say yes to her demands, to follow her wherever, no matter the cost to himself or others. It would hurt, to fall back in love. "What, its fate? Krillin, he might not have even known about the dragonballs. Piccolo's dead in his timeline."
They had the chance, the choice to do this. The decision to follow her or stop her was Krillin's now. "It feels wrong to do this. Not just because Gero's innocent, but maybe things are different now. What if we stop him from making these androids, and he goes onto create worse ones?"
"That's why we'll ask the dragon where he is. Then we will stop him. Permanently."
Was it murder, to stop someone who you knew was going to be responsible for who-knows how many deaths? It would be murder yes, to kill someone, maybe someone deranged with revenge, but did that make it necessarily wrong? Could he stab someone in the back again with a sword, because he was afraid of what they might do?
Or what if Gero was already dead, and that teenage boy with the sad blue eyes was mistaken? What if they used their wish, even followed through on it, only for them to have killed the wrong person? What if in two more years, peaceful years where no one trained really, the androids showed up still? They'd be caught just as unaware as that boy had tried to prevent.
"This feels wrong. I can't entirely explain it. So much could make things worse."
Regardless of those hypotheticals, Krillin could agree to what Bulma had said. There was sense in what she was saying. The others wouldn't even be able to stop them from using the dragonballs on time. Maybe Goku, since he could now teleport. But even then they might beat him—beat Goku? His best friend that had saved him a hundred times over the years, who had helped teach him to be a better person, good man? Betray his trust like that? To plot and lie to the man who was a hero to everyone on Earth, his friend that was responsible for so much of whatever inside Krillin was good?
Turn against his friends who trusted him to follow the plan they'd all agreed to?
"How could it become worse? More androids show up? Goku gets another virus?"
Worse. That was what Krillin feared. That he and Bulma would worsen things. That he could in fact be responsible for his friends' deaths, and not just for being too weak to help. There was something in him, in the marrow that maybe was what made him a fighter, a good man, that told him to wait as though King Kai was broadcasting a message telepathically. A feeling. Hang on. Just hang on here.
"Maybe. We have to be careful. What if we change everything, and Piccolo ends up with the heart virus. Or Gohan.
"Let's just wait and see what happens. Maybe—maybe you can get started on that suit you were making? Then you can help us more with the androids. Besides emotional support. Really, I'm serious. I bet you could really help stop them."
Bulma's face was ivory and coral pink. Afraid. Wanting him to come up with an answer that would comfort her. This could be something if that boyfriend comment had meant something, if he could find words, he might be able to mean something to her.
Worse. Worse.
"We have to fight these things. That's that? There's no other options when it comes to this? We have to just pray and hope that Goku's strong enough? That's it?"
He could offer his heart up by only saying, "I'm sorry, Bulma. That's all I know. We should wait for the androids to show up and then decide on what to do."