Thanks for the reviews/favs.
As for why this story doesn't get more attention, I'm going to say not a huge amount of K/18 fans around due to reasons such as some people not wanting to boff Krillin as much as Juuhachigou does, and not being able to see past that? People on the chestnutisland tumblr have mentioned this in way better, short, kinder, ways that I would if I really wanted to get into it. Not really sure how to drum up more attention. Maybe actually update more...?
The next chapter is just about already finished, so hopefully that will be posted sooner than this one was. There will probably be more jealous Juuhachigou coming up. Possibly crazy, jealous future!Juuhachigou.
In which two of the themes are both 'rat poison,' and 'fancy dinners.' Also, Bulma overhears and says too much, handcuffs are used, and Chi-Chi tries to set Juuhachigou up with Krillin. And Eighteen's change in voice actors is actually mentioned, albeit in a meta way.
I would like to go to a matinee with you. Any afternoon, any theater, I would not care what we saw. I would like to sit next to you in the dark in a public place and lean over from time to time to better hear your caustic asides.
-Tumble Home, From the Collected Stores of Amy Hempel
351. I peered through the knot-hole in the fence and...
Krillin could still hear them whispering in the other yard. There was a girl and a boy, and the girl was as bossy as Bulma. Telling him not to set up the pool that way, no, I don't want to play with a squirrel, I'm not Juurokugou, stop throwing rocks at me. A girl. He raised his head cautiously up from his book. Did he really want to hang out with another Bulma?
On the other hand, maybe she was cute? And could she really be as mean as the teenager, even as she started throwing rocks back at that boy? Carefully, he pressed his cheek against the rough wood of the unsanded fence. He could still remember him and Goku putting it up while their foster father looked on.
He discovered something that was too much for a thirteen-year-old scabby boy to talk, and made him swoon from the secret knowledge.
There was an angel living next door.
It was a lot to take in for a boy that had yet to hold a girl's hand, and whose closest attempt at kissing had come from messing with the leaf blower with the switch turned 'in' instead of 'out.' She's right there. Younger than him, maybe, by a little bit. Hair shorter than Bulma's and much lighter. Like sunlight. Or the color of dying leaves that hung off the apple tree.
Krillin was so awe-struck that he didn't care when the two younger kids noticed him watching them and went inside to tell their parents that there was a pervert from next door watching them.
352. I Could Never Touch You Because You Might Touch Back
Krillin held his hand out, and upward. No ki emanated from it, no matter how Juuhachigou stared at it. Looking at his palm like it was going to blow up. The paint had long since dried, and her hands were just as dirty as his, so the short fighter couldn't really see the problem.
"C'mon. We did it. We finished painting the house in record time. I think. Probably.
"High-five!"
It wasn't anything. Just the briefest moment of contact. And she could hurt him while doing it, playing it off, 'oh, are you too weak for that?' It was just friendly.
"Juuhachigou?"
353. Study Dates
When Juuhachigou asked him without any hint of a smile if he, Krillin and the luckiest guy in the world, if he would teach her how to use his trademark Destructo Disk, he kept his face perfectly steady. The shifting thoughts, what would a different guy do, what would I do if this was a different women, what are different women, are there such things, should I just act cool I need to stop sweating so much and answer, finally came to a halting scream of frustration that came out a whimper and a nod. He would follow her example, and act cool.
Krillin was so pleased at spending more time with her that he let himself not feel like shoving a hand down the garbage disposal at her disturbed face. Her own nod that came after made up for it, anyway.
Never before had Juuhachigou even shown any interest in sparring with him, outside the vague threat. But now…
There would be long afternoons full of laughter and smiles and the sweet way her eyes would narrow with amusement, yeah, that was what his life was going to be full of. No more panic attacks in the bedroom or nightmares where he'd reach out for Goku and either catch him or not. Idiotic blame and fears: all gone once she'd laugh at one of his jokes. His life would head in a more hopeful, upward direction.
He felt like Icarus must have felt as he'd strapped on those wax wings, had that man had some more forethought. Juuhachigou had given up any desire to murder him, perhaps, but a vestige of that must remain, with how quickly she could knock him down. There was to be no touching, she'd assured him with a sneer. Keep your hands where I can see them.
"Of course, Juuhachigou."
"Pretend you're a monk again."
"…alright. I guess I should go inside, and spend the rest of the day in quiet reflection…"
She rolled her eyes, barely able to put up with his behavior. What had she gotten into?
"Okay, okay. Let's get started."
"I think I know the basics. I've studied it, a little."
When she demonstrated, Krillin was lucky to escape with his head intact. It wasn't a matter of her getting the amount of power, sharpened, correctly. But her energy was too much. And the shape was off, from the force of it. An extra-large pizza to his own that was more like one of Oolong's pizza bites, in terms of power.
It continued on, past his cowering form, skipping briefly over the ocean, and then heading down like a glowing shark. Coral eventually floated upward. And what might have been part of a pirate ship that had rested at the bottom of the ocean floor.
"I think you could use some lessons in controlling it, then."
"Like you know anything about control."
She acted like he was some desperate perv, making comments and pinching gestures. As though he hadn't been polite to her, with his desperation for her attention and regard kept in check. "Well, then, try it again!"
As graceful as her attack hadn't been, Juuhachigou suggested, "Maybe you should teach me the solar flare instead?"
354. Pick Up The Phone, Hear You Saying Dirty Things To Me
Considering her own mother had walked in on her with both Yamcha and then Vegeta, numerous time, Bulma had thought she couldn't be so easily humiliated. It wasn't even her! She hadn't been caught doing anything! Innocent as a daisy flower, Bulma was; all she'd done was pick up a phone. And yet she was still blushing and horrified, and had gasped loudly enough to have surely caught the attention of the person upstairs.
Any moment, he would come down, just as horrified as her. 'You heard what?!'
'Terrible things!'
'Let's pretend this never happened.'
What she needed was to keep quiet. She hadn't been caught, nope, no one had definitely heard her hearing Krillin telling what had to be Juuhachigou, the pale annoyingly quiet android girl, horrible, horrible things that he was going to do to her when she came over again, while Bulma sat there with the receiver to her ear, hearing his filth and gaping. Only to have to hear Juuhachigou respond with something even worse, and making her scream and quickly slam the phone down.
It was bad just to know about her friends' sex lives. In fact, she'd happily gone through life knowing little about them. Until very recently, Bulma hadn't thought that Krillin had a sex life. He was just her short kind friend that got crushes on women that went nowhere and acted awkwardly around those said women. Not told them that when they crept in through his door, he was going to…well, nudity and a bed post were involved. Let's just leave it at that, mind, shall we?
But it was also good that he'd met someone. That he did have a sex life. Good for Krillin. Good for Juuhachigou. The details were sordid and should never have been shared, but still. As soon as Bulma stopped shivering and wondering where the rat poison was, she would decide to support them, and leave Krillin a short note to get his own private phone line.
355. All's Fair In Love and War, and We're In Love
Her decision to poison Krillin came from her heart, and only after a long time deliberating over it. And even then, it was a decision she rejected. What would really hurt him and send him to Dende or the hospital, and what would only put him down for a few days. Just a couple. Enough time for him to think things over, and come to understand that this woman he cared for could in return be surprisingly sweet, and…and that he'd already met someone, sorry.
Even in her own fantasies, Juuhachigou did not come out ahead.
It was pathetic that she'd come to this point. Allowed it to come to this point. She was one of the strongest beings on this planet, with only a handful of people able to beat her, and yet she was looking at the box with its bone and skull crosses, hoping. Yes, she'd passed the point of believing that only her programming mattered, and it was ridiculous to love a shrimp with no nose, because it had happened, and her denial had run too ragged to cling to.
Cyborg or not, it shouldn't take poisoning a man to show that you liked him. She was no Florence Nightingale; she might even hate his dependency after an hour or so.
But she'd spent the last hour admiring his eyelashes, and something had to be done. The knot in her tongue had to be untied, and the words finally allowed to spill out. Anything would be good. Anything complimentary. Say he's attractive, her brain had finally screamed. Say you think he's good-looking or cute or that you'd like very much to spend the rest of the night admiring his eyebrows! Do something! Anything!
"I don't care if you want to go bar hopping to look for a girl desperate enough to make out with you."
Yep, that was definitely the right thing to say to a guy you wanted desperately to make out with. Her mind writhed and screamed at her in disgust. He's leaving. He left. He's going to meet someone nice. With a better chest.
"Shut up," she clearly told the empty kitchen. "There's nothing wrong with my chest."
No, it's your brain that's broken. Or your nervous system. Whatever's to blame for you being too weak to tell Krillin had you feel.
And it was in there that she'd found the poison. How did rats even get on such a tiny island? Her brain once again called out for some sanity, some honesty, how are you even going to hide the taste, honey will not cut it and no, you can't switch the cereal and the poison.
He usually always was the one to make tea or cook anything. If he got sick, he might get suspicious. Would Krillin suspect her capable of hurting him this way? What if he asked? I guess I'm just a bad cook; what's that, you need a hug to make you feel better, sure, scoot over.
It was something out of romantic movie or soap opera the old man liked to watch. Juuhachigou even had an evil twin…or maybe that was her at this point? She should be clenching a fist to her chest, looking upward towards the heavens. For you, I will do this and hopefully you will not die.
You cannot do this. Do not, I repeat, do not poison this man. Is it programming, loose wire, some ripped cabling that has made you so insane?
Juuhachigou breathed in, and then put the poison away. Maybe there is a loose bolt somewhere. I have to talk to Krillin. Or at least leave a note on his bed. 'Do you like me, yes or no? Signed, 18. Pathetic. Her mind wept, but had to admit it was better than trying to kill him.
It was reading, and then collapsing hopelessly on top of a bunch of woman magazines that made her decide to just take Chi-Chi's advice. Bulma's had been simpler: just get naked and wait in his bed, maybe include whipped topic. To the other two women's discomfort. But the dark-haired mother had simply said that she should show Krillin she could be a good wife, yes, yes you can be, of course you can, just as long as you try. Also, maybe try to buy some lingerie. Just in case. Oh, oh, we should all go shopping.
With that vote of confidence and some new clothes, Juuhachigou had thought long and hard about marriage and what that would consist of. Something horribly feminine and stereotypical, was that what he might want? Would she have to knit something? Krillin was better at things like that. Cleaning and sewing and cooking. But she had helped him with some meals. It wasn't so bad, what she'd made.
She crumbled up the magazines, not caring if they were Krillin's, and went back to the kitchen. No longer was it a possibly crime scene, now it was full of good possibilities. There was some food in the house, for once, and surely she could make pasta by herself. A pot, water, salt, boil it for a half hour or so, and there was pasta sauce in the cabinet. A loaf of bread, if not a nicer kind, in the bread box where Krillin had placed it last. Thankfully it hadn't been all scarfed down. Simple. Not complicated. At least then they could focus on each other. There was even wine, and that might help both their nervousness.
As for dessert…
She stared at the spray bottle of KoolWhip, then slowly put it back in the fridge.
Candles. She needed candles.
The house had blackouts occasionally, there had to be candles somewhere. The birthday candles in the junk drawer would help, but she really would have preferred something nicer. So she took Krillin's scented candles he liked to sometimes take with him in the bath, feeling like a thief. She didn't allow herself to focus on the bubble bath formula he had.
It irritated her nose, the candles, but she felt better for it.
The only thing left was to make sure it was just them.
"I would like to have a private, quiet dinner!"
"…don't you have your own house?"
His roommates had eventually fled after she'd threatened to poison them with the rat poison behind the dish soap under the sink. But Master Roshi was the last to leave, and he could pick up her desperation. "Just don't hurt him, Juuhachi. He's a nice boy."
"I'm not going to hurt him!" Had she not recently threatened to kill the old man, and was currently holding a pot of boiling water while yelling at him, it might have been taken more sincerely.
He left, and she drained the pasta. Then went upstairs to change into something nice. With something nicer underneath. Krillin would be damn lucky to see her in this, or even wearing less. The other women had been kind, and good judges of fabric. 'Do you think Krillin would prefer her in black, or red? Or white, maybe?' While she sat there in the changing room of this expensive store, waiting for an answer. 'I don't think Krillin will care.' Then they'd both laughed while she tried not to have a panic attack, too embarrassed to speak. What the hell was she doing here, although, yes, she did look nice in this black lace, and the red satin would make Krillin's eyes fall out of their sockets.
Then dress and shoe shopping. Then getting their nails and Bulma's hair done. 'It's so nice having time for us, you know. Not everything has to be about fighting.' This Bulma said, before getting into an argument over the phone with Vegeta, where they threatened to murder one another. Despite not liking even the mention of the Saiyan, Juuhachigou felt a little relieved that she wasn't the only person to think about hurting her partner. Almost partner. Hopefully-soon-to-be-partner.
She tried on all her new things, agreeing that yes, anything would be fine. Nothing would be just as fine.
Krillin came home. Late. Alone, thank every Namek in the history of the universe for that. But…stumbling. And very late. Very quickly Juuhachigou realized he was not stumbling about because only the melting candles were provided light.
"Are you drunk?"
"Why yes I am."
They looked at each other over the melted waxy stubs.
He even smelled like booze and maybe bile? She looked at the bottle of wine that she'd already opened herself. Well, she'd hardly had any, unlike him.
Krillin came closer, undoing the buttons to his shirt, to her disgusting excitement. "What happened? Oh, man, did the electricity go out again? Are those my good candles? Where is everyone? Is that pasta?"
"Yes. Are you hungry?" She made her voice as pleasant as it could be.
"Ugh. No thanks. Um, I got a little sick on the way here."
Her eyes widened. "It wasn't me."
Krillin looked up at her from his feet. "No. I had a little too much to drink, and threw up. Thankfully, it was outside the cab."
"You should be sober by now, right? You flew home?"
"Yes. Maybe. I need to lie down. This sucks. I can't see anything." He reached for the light switch, blinding himself when they came on. "What the hell?"
"Turn them back off, Krillin."
The short ex-monk turned the lights off gladly, with a grimace.
"Now sit down."
"I really am not in the mood to eat."
"Then have some wine. Or I'll pour you a glass of milk. Just sit down."
"Sure." He collapsed into the chair opposite her. "This is nice, Juuhachigou."
"It's cold."
"Um. Sorry? Were you waiting for someone?"
"Yes. But he came home drunk and ruined everything."
"Ah. I'm really sorry? Where is everyone?" His forehead wrinkled, then cleared. "Oh, Juu, you know you don't owe us anything. You didn't have to make dinner, or anything. We're glad to have you hanging out here."
"I didn't make it for those disgusting perverts. Like I care about any of your roommates." Although, to be fair, the Turtle was a nice enough fellow, and always complimented her ability to cut fruit into easy to eat pieces.
"Then who? Wait. For me?"
And then the knot tied itself back around her tongue. All she could do was glare down at the dripping candle in front of the bread, and feel heat rising in her cheeks.
"You made this for me? Really?" Krillin leaned forward, to slip into her gaze. "That's really nice."
He was smiling, and from this angle she could see quite well down his shirt. Thankfully, her eyes had little trouble adjusting to the dark. "You don't owe me anything, though. You know that. I'm sorry."
Krillin stared at his hands. "I messed this up badly. You went through all this trouble, and I was out getting drunk."
"I was trying to surprise you. It's my fault."
There was a grimace back on his face. For a second, Juuhachigou thought he was going to be sick all over the small table and on her new dress. "You're so nice, Juu. I should have been here. I hardly go out anyway. I should have stayed. It wouldn't have mattered to go out."
"You didn't meet anyone tonight?"
"No. Of course not. I'm not really the type of person women go for. You know." He motioned towards his face. "I don't really have a lot to offer up here."
"But down there you do?" Damn her throat and the vocal chords inside. Damn whatever in general that was making her say and do such stupid things.
"What—I meant. Here." Krillin patted his chest, still looking like a deer in the headlights. You could see gears working in his own head, did she mean, no, of course not, just some strange comment. "I care. I am capable of love. I feel a little like the Frankenstein's monster. Except with less torches. I just want to care about someone. Maybe have someone not recoil at the sight of my face."
It was bizarre, how this sickening love and attraction could make you want to defend the object of such attentions. Even from themselves. Maybe because you didn't want to admit, even to yourself, that you were into a loser. Ego became involved. But Krillin wasn't a loser and had no right to speak of himself in such a way. He was sweet and brave and too forgiving to everyone but himself. "There's nothing wrong with your face. Except for the nose. But you get used to that after a while. You have a decent face. It's nice. You're not uncute."
Well, her brain sighed. It's something.
"Coming from you, I'm not sure to take that as a compliment or insult."
"What? I didn't mean it as an insult."
"I mean, from you. You're so—I can't take it all that seriously. I think you're too pretty to compliment me. You're like on another scale of measurement."
"What?"
"I don't know. I just mean, it's difficult to explain. But I feel like a mouse being complimented by a tiger."
Say something! About his muscles that were so distracting that she'd once lost lots of money during a poker game with the old man, who'd then never failed to use that to his advantage, yes, son, could you check under the sink, really far down there, and maybe you should take off your shirt so it doesn't get dirty—while Oolong, wearing underwear on his head, looked disgusted with them both. The jawline, his dark eyes like melting ebony, something, ugh, 'melting ebony'? Something about his shoulders, or those arms, or his cute knees or his laugh. How masculine he can be, in a nice way, even in an apron, baking oatmeal cookies, you smell nice, yes, that's just great. I think you have a nice tongue and enjoy watching you eat Popsicles. No, no, oh god no. You have the prettiest mouth, really, you do, the prettiest one I've ever seen or believe exists. Was that bad? What about his round chin that looked nice to bite a little? I think you look amazing when you wander out of your room in just your underwear when you don't realize I'm in the house.
You're in great shape and have pretty eyes. That's it. You say that, Juuhachigou. Say exactly that.
"You have nice eyebrows."
God I hate you.
"I have nice eyebrows." He touched one, the right one. "Really?"
"They're alright. No, no, you look nice. All of you. Even the shortness can be charming."
"Really?" He looked pleased, and Juuhachigou and her brain breathed a sigh of relief. "But especially my eyebrows?"
…his eyebrows weren't even that nice. They were alright, maybe, but what made them nice was that they were his. It wasn't like his hands which were nice independently of the rest of him, small and well-made. Like so much else of his. The scars and callouses only added more charm to his fingers. His fingernails were usually clean. He had nice wrists too. And his arms, well, she'd seemingly memorized every crease of muscle and freckle and short dark hair.
If she said all this, he'd either understand that she liked him, and they could begin interacting like mature adults that were in a real relationship, or he'd freak out over how obsessive she could be and not want to see her anymore. 'I'm not a piece of meat, Juuhachigou!'
"I think your eyelashes are nicer, actually." She wanted wine, lots of it, suddenly.
"My eyelashes." Krillin was smiling. "You have a thing for upper facial hair?"
"No. I noticed that because you're always staring at me."
"Well, you have nicer features than just your eyelashes and eyebrows. Though, those are perfect too." He was raising one stupid eyebrow. Ruefully, at her.
I like how you look too. Just say it. He is attracted to you. You both know. It will help to admit that. Please, just say it.
She went to the fridge, grabbed the bottle of KoolWhip, and then shoved the nozzle into Krillin's mouth. Then bent downward to kiss him and lick the creamy spillage from his tongue and off his lips. It felt much better than her imagination had told it would be. Her legs weaker than she felt comfortable with. Their foreheads touching were also sweet. The chair creaked loudly under the force of them both moving backwards.
"Um."
Juuhachigou made sure to make eye contact as she wiped away a spray of it on his chin, then licked that off her finger. "That wasn't so bad."
At least the taste of it covered any of the alcohol.
…And vomit that she belatedly realized. Uuuuugh.
She nearly slapped him, remembering that. Remembering faint memories of someone, maybe Yamcha or Gohan, telling her how Krillin had picked her up out of a puddle of Cell's spit. Why did their lives have to involve romantic moments and regurgitation? "I should have poisoned you after all."
"I must be really, really drunk."
"Do you have any idea what I've been going through? Thinking about you all the time, trying to come up with downright schemes to make you like me more, to move our relationship forward. I had to try on thirty bras today, to find the right size and fit. To say nothing about finding a color that you'd definitely like.
"-Your stupid eyebrows!"
"Or I've had a stroke."
"When you sober up, and brush your teeth, I'll be waiting for you upstairs, in your bed. Use Listerine."
"Definitely a stroke."
356. 99 Problems
(A/N: This was nearly the name of these collections of stories)
All Goku could do was pat his friend's back. Krillin was talking again about feeling alone, a subject that made his own stomach squirm. It was all he could to just look sympathetic and nod, as the other man didn't really get it. His short buddy always had his pals, and even lived with Master Roshi and Oolong and Turtle. There was always someone at Kame House. Plus he could come over here to Goku's house, to just walk around near the river like they were right now, or to stay and eat some of Chi-Chi's cooking.
And Bulma stopped by plenty. Even Vegeta had once spent some time there, hiding out from Bulma. A fact that made Goku laugh, remembering that purple-haired guy's news.
"I just would like a girlfriend. Someone that actually likes me."
"I'm sorry man." There really wasn't much to do to make Krillin feel much better. When he talked about girls, Goku only half-way understood. He'd been with Chi-Chi for so long, and didn't even truly completely understand the whole concept of 'dating.' There had just been Chi-Chi, challenging him and then smiling, and then they were married. Impossible to imagine it being any other way.
His other friends Yamcha and Bulma were better at this. They would know what dates were about.
"I don't know. Maybe—maybe you can save a girl, and then she'll like you?"
"Where am I going to find a girl in enough danger to start liking me just because I saved her?"
Goku rubbed the back of his dark head. Then he slapped Krillin's back, wanting to see him smile again and get back to his cheerful self. Life was too short to spend so much of it miserable. "…well, those androids are coming to try and kill us all? Maybe then you can save someone and get a girlfriend!"
357. I'm in a booth, it's almost twelve, your favorite Denny's
Another year, I need a sundae
I'm just your sidebet
Freestyle walking
Crying in a restaurant above a bowl of ice cream with strangers looking on was not how Krillin had expected to spend his night. He'd thought he could withhold his tears, not let himself dangle there so purposely over his disaster.
But some higher power lifted him out of his self-pity, some kindness from Kami himself perhaps. Someone to grab him, if roughly, and pull him back from the edge this thing that pulled him back with the hand of an angel, and had plucked him from the rim of despair. He could remember now that yes, he had broken up with his first girlfriend (she's sit right over there by the door so everyone could see her, in that little red dress and brought out the blue in her hair) and was currently sitting there in an act of masochism in this place they'd frequented so often, and that he was above all a man with feelings, and a hero and should have some pride in himself. The unpainful, but surprisingly blow to the head reminded him how often he'd been in a real fight and had experienced real pain that should have made a little heartbreak look like nothing.
That not everything in their relationship had been perfect, that they might have made each other miserable over the long run, and that he could hear some woman laughing, and she sounded kinda cute.
But he still had to wipe the ice cream and sticky soda out of his eyes from getting hit so hard by what was later discovered to be a complicated calculator. So he didn't see that a girl with blonde hair that came down just below her ears had been the one to do it, let alone saw how she sneaked out the backdoor to avoid any confrontation, because she'd finally seen his muscles and had known a guy that dressed like that had nothing left to lose.
358. I Don't Care What They Say About Us Anyway
Yamcha got his revenge, for falling asleep during his baseball game. It hadn't truly been their fault, they'd had a terrible night where both Vegeta and Bulma had come over and there had been too much alcohol to combat the mental pain of seeing those two together, those two eventually stopping their arguments to cuddle on the couch and send everyone running. Krillin had even begged to go along with her, in her car, back to her apartment, please, just get me off this island.
Or maybe that wasn't giving the scarred man enough credit. It was possibly he saw it only as an opportunity to help his friend. Maybe when he saw them passed out in the stands, still clutching cloudy plastic cups of melting ice and began plotting to help his short friend. It could have only been Yamcha, since he'd quickly disappeared and avoided them after that incident. Hadn't even rubbed their faces in it until much later.
What was really alarming, in retrospect, when some literal distance allowed perspective, was that Yamcha had those handcuffs with him.
They'd woken up, and blearily reached to rub at their eyes. Only to feel the tug of the other's hand. Something hard tied around their wrists.
She'd thought she'd gone past embarrassment. With her screwed up family that were far from related to by blood but rather a crazy man who hired/adopted them all, Juuhachigou had been through embarrassment. Just being seen with those weirdoes, inside the family house, was humiliated.
But now she understood what true shame was.
Krillin had the same gaping mouth as her.
"…did you do this?"
"Of course not!"
"How long were we like this?"
Hiding their hands under a jacket only made them look like they were holding hands, but that had to be suffered. "Right. Just like you're wearing a bracelet is all."
"God, your hand's so sweaty."
And then of course they had to stop by Bulma's, because she would have a power saw or something to remove it. Dynamite, maybe. Never mind how she laughed her head off and had to sit there on her stool, rocking back and forth and nearly crying in delight. In time, they were eventually separated, revenge conceived of and carried forth, and maybe one day the memories of being stared at by strangers would fade.
359. You're Not Ill. And I'm Not Dead. Doesn't That Make Us The Perfect Pair?
Cell could have so easily destroyed them, destroyed the entire planet, and then moved onto another, and another, until he had ruined the universe. An untold number of beings dead, entire civilizations gone in the wink of an eye. Amounts that Krillin, that no human, could actually comprehend, all gone to Other World.
It really helped put things in perspective.
So what really did it matter that she was an android, that she might have once hurt his friends? Those friends that right now were heading out to possibly help or die in the attempt.
Why be ashamed of something so small as his love for her?
She was in his arms, unconscious, and beautiful, and just beyond there was a boy fighting for their lives. He could lose. Every second was a gift, and not to be squandered. Juuhachigou was amazing, and they were both alive for now. When the world was about to end, how could you keep letting fear take ahold anymore, let that hold you back when things were beyond your control otherwise. He didn't want to die with anymore regrets.
Bad enough to go without completing all those goals he'd had, let alone little things like not seeing her smile, or hearing her voice again or wondering what type of life they could have had together, if things had been different. What future they might have now, if any.
"Alright." He stared downward at her peaceful face. "I love you."
Krillin just wished he could live long enough to tell it to her face while she was conscious.
360. She had a perfect smile
"I sound terrible. Like a thirteen year old. A thirteen year old boy." Then she just about coughed up a lung as Krillin tried to be supportive and not touch her and possibly find out how much strength she still possessed, sick or not.
"It doesn't matter. A rose by any other…sound."
"Awful."
"No, you don't sound that bad at all. Different. So what? I still like you. Okay, okay, it's still you. Cranky sick you that has a lovely voice if a little more, I guess you do sound younger. But you're basically the same person. With a different…it just takes a little while to get used to. Gimme time."
"I won't sound like this forever. It's just for a few while. And it's not like your voice hasn't changed ever. Grown worse. Well. Maybe even worse. It's always been bad. What's your excuse?"
He fluffed a pillow, and decided to not even pretend to suffocate her with it. "We'll adapt, and move past it."
"Who are you trying to convince?"
"Do you want the cough syrup now?"
361. I'll get you one of these days
"So, you're his Master then?"
Probably the first words Juuhachigou had said to Master Roshi that weren't threats. Everyone craned an ear to listen in.
"Does that mean he's yours?" Of course, it was just more insult, this time aimed a little more at Krillin. She had no sense of propriety, Juuhachigou. She would say things like this while hanging out on their couch, just waiting for them to finally snap and ask them to leave.
"He's not my slave." The turtle hermit took the android in strive faster than the others would have expected. He seemed to understand Krillin's puppy-dog crush, and was willing to indulge it, even if Juuhachigou was not.
"But you have some control over him?" What was that smile on her face?
"I suppose so."
Everyone else was quiet, waiting for her point.
"Does that mean you can give him away, if he's yours? Your pupil? Can you give him orders?"
"I'm not giving you Krillin, Juuhachigou."
She cocked an eyebrow at the short man, him so clearly taken aback. "Well, he's practically mine already; it would just be nice to make it more official."
"Hey, I'm not your slave."
"Go get me a soda."
And Krillin had to catch himself from following her command. "No."
362. Set Up
She was counting stitches on the new jacket she was making for the baby, thinking about that baby kicking already in her stomach, how lively they were, when Gohan's next history test should be completed, where Piccolo was right now and whether or not he was messing up Gohan's clothes and new haircut.
"God I wish I had a wife."
"It's just." Krillin's face was red, and he sheepishly looked up at her. "Goku was really lucky to have you."
Normally, Chi-Chi would have just scoffed at the short man's attempt at flattery. Sincere or not, it was hard to take Krillin seriously. Those eyes were too large in that round face, and the small growth of hair didn't do much to improve the fact that he still looked like a little kid half the time. Especially the way he dressed, like a very confused teenager that had decided to ironically wear his dorky uncle's golf and boat clothes.
Sure, he'd been trying to fix things up. At least one of Goku's friends was aware there was more to life than fighting. He'd retired, and was attempting to learn new things, expand his life into new directions, maybe even settle down. Now Krillin was moving on the best he could. Or at least buying some clothes that were a little less blinding.
Trying to look maybe respectable. He'd been spending time here more, trying to help Gohan and her deal with their new addition to the family. Krillin had been even nicer than normal, really…
…It was not unheard of for a brother to step in and marry the widow to his sibling. Goku's blood brother was dead, but Krillin was closer to her husband that that man had been. Far closer.
She saw with new horrified eyes that dark hair.
That new jacket that he'd shyly asked if she thought looked nice on him.
Chi-Chi put down her knitting, and asked Krillin to leave.
Capsule Corp was as picture perfect as always. The sunny dome promised prosperity, and safety. Just looking at the place with its darkened windows, you felt sure that here you could find peace. Mechanical efficiency. You could almost ignore Vegeta's screaming.
Chi-Chi thought at first that he was training. That man wouldn't be the type to ever relax. But once she entered the main hall, she could make out the words he was screaming.
"What is wrong with you woman! I don't watch the brat for five minutes, and this is your punishment?"
"All I did was fix up your wardrobe. You should be thanking me!" But Bulma's face held a smirk.
"You turned all my clothing pink!"
"I thought it would go nice with that blonde hair you worked so hard for."
He let out a strangled scream from his throat, then stomped away, dragging a pair of hot pink pants with him.
"I need the dragonballs?"
Bulma had an expression of pity on her face. Behind her, Trunks tottered around like a drunk, bouncing off the couch and table. "I don't think Goku wants to come back."
"It's not for him. It's for Krillin."
"What? Did something happen to him?"
"Nothing. But I need the dragonball to help him."
"How?"
"I want to help Krillin get a girlfriend." She wished dearly that Bulma's mother had popped into the room, bearing pastries and tea to distract them with.
She looked at Chi-Chi closely. "You want what?"
"I want to get him a girlfriend."
"I can't tell whether you're the nicest person to him, or the cruelest."
Chi-Chi huffed. Hopefully, Bulma wouldn't ask why she wanted to get Krillin a girlfriend. "I'm just trying to help him."
"Well," The blue-haired woman had a smirk not unlike the one she'd had dealing with Vegeta. "I guess there was that girl."
"What girl?" Hopefully, it wasn't that Maron woman.
"The cyborg/android."
Any sympathy she'd had for Krillin was gone. "The ones that tried to kill Goku?"
"Yeah. One of them was a girl. From what Trunks said, the other Trunks I mean." She motioned with a thumb behind her as the infant knocked over a lamp. "Krillin had a thing for her. Trunks wanted me to get a therapist for me, or have an intervention. The intervention didn't work, and I don't want to have to hire a lawyer to get Krillin out of a mental institution."
Could she look within herself to forgive those terrible creations that had showed up and been created to kill her husband? If she stand having Piccolo show up every Sunday to train with Gohan, could she overlook an android? It wasn't as though the woman had actually done anything.
"…Smashed that controller I worked so hard on too. Next time you see him, make sure to smack his head with something, okay? With something really hard."
Chi-Chi nodded, half listening. "Sure. Say, Bulma?"
She made her voice as polite as possible. "If I wanted to find these androids, this android girl-"
"Actually, they're closer to cyborgs."
"Yes, if I wanted to find this girl, would the dragonballs allow me to do that?"
"I guess. But you know, I could probably whip something up to detect them. But why? You can't think this woman, machine parts or not, would go for…" She trailed off, suddenly embarrassed by what unkind thing she was about to say.
"Not that Krillin's not a great guy."
But Chi-Chi's jaw was set.
The widow kept her voice casual. After all, if she could consistently guilt trip and talk Goku and Gohan into doing what she asked, Bulma couldn't be too hard. "I suppose that might be too much to ask of you Bulma. It's probably too complicated."
She stood, straightening her dress. Absently, she reminded herself to dig out her maternity wear before she started stretching things out. "You're busy, with Trunks. And really, you're not so young anymore. It probably isn't easy for you to just shove everything aside and quickly create a device so sophisticated. Maybe the teenage you, but not now."
Either Vegeta's huge ego rubbed off, or Bulma was definitely like her husband. "You think I can't make one? Watch me! I'm get you to those androids, and Krillin can date and marry and impregnate one with my blessing. I'll make them name the baby after me. You just see."
"Which one was the one he liked? Does she have a name?"
"I don't care which one. He'll do it to both of them! All three—even the dead one!"
The scientist was already mumbled to herself, eyes focus on blueprints and other things rather than her guest. "…probably some sort of tracking device, so sense their unique energy. Or their mechanical parts. Like a metal detector."
The android, cyborg, whatever, really was a girl. Or at least she looked it. Chi-Chi had imagined something dark, red-eyes, claws. Sharp teeth and spiky hair.
Instead, she was a bony, lifeless looking thing. She seemed to be all pale elbows and white protruding bones, and her black bathing suit didn't help matters. Somehow, the android looked both boyish and girlish. Some hair fell into her eyes, and she impatiently pushed it aside with a flick of a small hand. Up close, her eyes were less gray and more of a light blue.
The cyborg couldn't be any taller than Chi-Chi, and she had a hard time imagining this girl hurting anyone. She wasn't sure which was more impossible, Krillin liking her, or Chi-Chi having to convince her to like the small man back.
Juuhachigou.
…Or was it Juunanagou?
"Who are you?" The most apathetic voice sounded above, like a truly uncaring god.
Chi-Chi glanced up, at the roof of the small cabin. There, lying on the roof was a young man in a pair of swimming shorts. It was very odd. The sky above with covered with heavy clouds, and there was even the smell of rain in the air. But they were both dressed to go for a dip.
At her curious stare, the blonde one shrugged. "We thought about going swimming. But it wasn't worth the effort to go to the river."
"I see."
About five uncomfortable, awkward minutes passed with no one saying anything, but refusing to break the silence. They all just listened to the others breathing, and the sound of the woods around them. Eventually, the girl android heaved a tired sigh, "Um. Can we help you?"
"Yes. You can."
Slim pale eyebrows rose.
"With Krillin—"
She sat up with a jerk, face almost twitching. Angry. Scared. "You're Sons' widow."
"I need you to go out with him. He's a very nice man, and needs a girlfriend."
Watching the small white hands curl into fists, Chi-Chi wondered if maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come out her without one of the fighters.
"I am not going out with that bald little moron. Weirdo. Creep." The girl seemed to be talking to herself at this point. "Bone head. Looks like an octopus."
"If you won't." Chi-Chi sat down, taking the dark-haired twin's seat. "Then I'll just wait until you change your mind."
They shot each other looks. Then smirks not unlike Bulma's from before. Then bounced to their feet. "Alright, sure."
"Have fun out here."
They waved mockingly before entering the small cabin.
So she sat there, and waited. Things came to her, such as maybe I should have found another babysitter besides Piccolo, and I wonder if they're having dinner right now. Immediately, she missed her sweet affectionate baby.
They'll be fine without me for a short time.
I hope Gohan is studying. But if Piccolo's there, he probably isn't. That man wouldn't know linear algebra from a hole in the ground.
I wonder what Krillin sees in that girl anyway. Sure. She's pretty and young, but really. That attitude.
If Krillin wants to date the blonde one, the brunette might come along too.
"Mom?" Gohan timidly came up to her, his hair hanging into his face. "Shouldn't you come home?"
"Not yet, dear."
"This can't be good for the baby," Piccolo grumbled. In the gloomy grey light, he looked particularly tall. His frowning face told her he was willing to carry her back to her house, kicking and screaming. That eyebrow-less face told her that he in fact cared little about her whining, and that he had no problem dragging her back inside.
"I'm doing this for Krillin. Aren't you his friends?"
"What are you talking about?"
The green-skinned man's eyes were narrowed, and the recently widowed woman reminded herself to keep her mind blank.
Peaking through the window curtain was the blonde one. Behind her, her twin was shouting at a TV set that made the room glow a warm orange. Her eyes were a glassy, milky blue from this distance. Juuhachigou's jaw clenched, even when Gohan waved to her.
A very anti-social girl.
Inside, the dark-haired woman was sure that Juuhachigou was pacing. Talking to her twin. 'She's just out there. Waiting.'
In time, her family and whatever Piccolo was to her exactly, left.
By then it was dark out, and she could clearly see the pale face peaking behind the curtain, staring back at her. The sullen pull backwards to hide herself. After another hour, Chi-Chi was imagining a warm pot of tea waiting back at home and a sleeping Goten to check in on, and then the machine was stepping outside.
"Do you know who I am?" Her hands were on her slim hips. Dressed in something more concealing, she looked different from the woman Chi-Chi had met before. "What I am?"
"One of those androids."
"I could have killed your husband. My brother and I were going to."
"I know that. But well, all this time with Goku's friends has gotten me used to that." She cocked a thumb towards the woods. "Piccolo actually did kill my Goku. But now he hangs around my house to bother me and spar with Gohan."
"I'm not going to babysit your son."
"I didn't ask that. But eventually there may come a time where you will want companionship. Or need it, should someone new come to Earth looking for a fight."
"So I should date Krillin, because of that."
"He's a perfectly nice man." Considering she was here to foist Krillin off onto this girl before he got attached to her, Chi-Chi was able to keep her voice guilt free. As unlikely a couple as these two might make, she couldn't picture herself having that sort of relationship herself with Krillin. He needed someone…oh, a little more directionless and without her own family to care for. Someone who could physically throw him out of the house when he would get lost in his thoughts.
"And he likes cooking. He's good at choosing gifts."
Juuhachigou was rolling her eyes.
"He even likes taking girls shopping."
Now there was a blush and a disbelieving look on her pretty face.
"You could do worse," Chi-Chi warned her. "Krillin's fine with the android thing, after all. I think he's so happy to start a family, he'd do it—well, he's a sweet man. And he's looking to settle down."
Right about then, the girl disappeared back into her house and wouldn't leave until the other android kicked her out.
363. Let's Talk about Anything But You and Me, Okay?
There had been some uncomfortable moments in Krillin's awkwardly lived life. Especially around girls he liked. Like just about any moment with Bulma before she'd finally settled down with Vegeta (if you could call it that), or Maron who would flirt with every guy, that girl with her little brother he'd saved from Cell, that blue-haired girl Mint who'd been so kind to him as he'd helped her village from going up in flames.
Only Maron had actually gone out with him. The rest had all been vague hopes and dreams.
But then there was that girl he'd flirt with at that club Yamcha had dragged him to, that he'd thought he'd had real chemistry with, only to set her bangs on fire as he'd tried to light her cigarette. Oh, oh, boy, the memories were rolling in while he sat there, sweating. The clerk at the nearest grocery store by Kame House, the one that for horrible various reasons, he could now no longer return to. Bulma's old receptionist that had quit almost coincidentally when he'd continued to show up on thinner and thinner pretenses, hoping for a view of those intelligent green eyes behind those black frame glasses—too smart for a guy like him, to say nothing of the prettiness.
Now here he was, sitting here, waiting with some frustration for either of them to say words made up of only one syllable. With a woman even smarter, more special, classier, prettier, than all those girls put together. Whose teasing alone had made him fall in love with him. Who would also beat him up. Who had been through so much, and had shown that she had little indulgence when it came to his feelings.
Why was she even here?
Juuhachigou really should just run away again, like at Kami's Lookout. Just leave him. For her own good. Before he knocked a pyramid of split pea soup onto her head or spent too long looking at her through the guise of reading a magazine
At least she didn't have bangs to set aflame.
He was being neurotic, sweaty, unable to spit out a complete sentence, but she was still sitting there, maybe waiting for something.
364. I Wanna Hurry Home To You, Put On A Slow Dumb Show For You, and Crack You Up
"How the hell did you know I was here?"
He gave a slow smile from his place curled up on the couch, on his side. In the darkness, she could barely see his pale face. "I know all."
"Well. That's cute. But really, how do you always know where I am?"
"I have no idea. I can sense you."
Her eyebrows rose, unseen. Probably. "You can?"
"Right here." Krillin patted his chest, thumping a fist over his heart. "This is where I can sense you, babe."
"You're a moron." And don't call me 'babe.' "Have you been waiting up for me?"
"Couldn't sleep."
"Because you were waiting for me. Now go upstairs. To your own bedroom."
"Well, duh. Of course I'm going to my own bed."
"Just go there, and sleep. And I'm going to stay down here, and watch TV."
"Watch what? Not much on."
"I'll try and find something."
"I don't think I can sleep with that on. Here's the remote."
"Scoot over."
365. I'm Not Getting Out of Bed Today
Juunanagou realized that pulling her hair for the hundredth time, pinching her, punching her back, kicking her legs and face, and yelling at his sister was not going to get her out of bed. She refused to move, only screaming back at him that she wanted to be left alone. When he put snakes in her bed, she flung them out immediately. The bears he dragged in Juuhachigou would shoo out as soon as his back was turned. The bunny situation ended up annoying him more than her.
Especially when he learned those jokes about rabbits and procreation were not ironic jests.
He couldn't just leave her in bed. Though not exactly an expert at psychiatry, Juunanagou was sure this was not a sign of a healthy mind.
Especially as she lay there in some contemplation, for another day. Refusing to move, even when he jumped up and down on her bed, all she did was kick him hard enough to send him flying across the room before rolling over.
"Get up! Get up now!"
And then she'd tossed a pillow at him and screamed for him to get out.
He paced around the living room, stepping over rabbits every few feet.
"I swear! I'll get the superhero squad to come in here! They love helping people. The whole Scooby Gang!
"I swear it!"
"Shut up!"
"You shut up! And get out of bed!"
"Leave me alone!"
"Goddamnit. You leave me no choice! Remember this. Remember I gave you a chance." He warned the wall, shaking his fist in her direction. Then he stomped through the house, slamming the door. Juuhachigou's relief was nearly palpable, and that only made him angrier.
She probably thought he was bluffing, and was trying to call it. Which meant that now he really would have to contact them, and bring them here.
They came, but only after he'd offered them free food and the promise that he wouldn't attempt to kill anyone.
It wasn't until he walked back in unannounced, sick of the annoying fighters ("you think you might want to go to one of my baseball games? I could get you free tickets"), only to find her still in bed, with the bald shrimp next to her, she smug and him scared out of his gored, and once everyone was thrown out and he had a stiff shot of Jim Beam, Juunanagou was able to wonder if maybe instead of being depressed, Juuhachigou had just been looking for an excuse to have that Krillin fellow here.
366. I Need You Like A Bullet In the Head
It would have been smart to dissociate himself at this point. Krillin was someone who played for keeps, after all. He'd known that since that remote had been destroyed. A person did not do something so drastic on a whim, especially not someone as loyal and dependable as Krillin.
She'd been smitten.
Not a woman to just play with; despite how Bloomer had treated her. He had attempted teasing Krillin, only to be met with a full, unshy gaze back. Unafraid of him. No ignorance or hesitation. A full embrace of what he was, and with no expectations.
It would have been easy to leave her. She asked for nothing.
Standing here in her room, the walls papered with posters and pictures, wearing only jeans, Juuhachigou knew it would just be a matter of lifting the window up and slipping away. Someone as methodical as Krillin could be would make sure it didn't squeak. He already had his socks and shoes, and could not feel any coldness.
"Mm, Juu?"
But god, his own striped shirt and plain black t-shirt hung off the pale shoulders in such a distracting way. Hanging down to mid-thigh. The sleepy look in dark eyes. "Where are you going?"
It took less than a second to slide his shoes off and find himself back into the warm bed.
367. Such A Silly Thing to Do: Fall In Love With You
Juunanagou gave her a look beneath his perfectly shaped eyebrows that were nearly as nice as her own. "You're a goner, Juu."
Standing beside the window in neat clothes, Juuhachigou found it easy to turn her head and focus only on her sibling. "What are you talking about?"
"He's hanging around the house, still. Refusing the leave. There's no way you can keep hating him forever."
"We'll see about that."
"Complimenting you, catering to your every whim…"
"How shallow do you think I am?"
"Pretty shallow," Juunanagou admitted. "The shrimp's too nice. If you were going to kill him, you would have done it already. You're not the patient type."
"Maybe I'm just biding my time. You're not the only one that can play games with humans."
"'Course." Juunanagou straightened a wrinkle from his shirt, since forgoing Krillin's offer of the iron. "He's out back. In case you were looking for him."
"I was not."
"Of course you weren't."
368. How bad will it get, if I let her get to know me?
All his previous arguments against himself still stood. He didn't even know her. Yes,maybe Juuhachigou knew a lot of things about him, considering she'd been programmed by a mad genius to destroy him and his friends. But her favorite color, what her hobbies were, if she'd even been single (before finding out Juunanagou was her brother), if she even wanted to date anyone…all mysteries.
For all her teasing and emotionless stance, Juuhachigou kept everything well hidden. There was so much more beneath that pale face. As soon as he'd seen her hiding from Cell, he'd known that fact.
The stammering crush that meant nothing.
They hadn't exchanged more than a few sentences. Who was he to claim that he loved her, this woman he didn't know anything about? Did he love her, or the idea of a young woman who'd actually kissed him, and whom he could save and worship at her feet?
Another untouchable girl. She was so unlike Maron, who'd actually liked him, and had gone out with him. Whom he'd actually gotten to know well.
Following that logic, how well did he have to know Juuhachigou to claim that he was indeed in love with her?
Dimly, Krillin could wonder why he'd fallen for such a distant woman, another attempt at keeping people distant from himself, like the jokes and living out here on some island with a bunch of perverts? At the very least, he should have gone on a date or two with her to know whether or not he and Juuhachigou had a future. Or a pleasant conversation without the threat of dying hanging over their heads, or with his best friend having just died.
So if I ever see her again, should I just ask her out? Or keep my distance until…what? I meet someone else. Plenty of fish in the sea.
There's no one else.
No one else.
369. Before You Hit The Ice
Bulma had forced them into it. She'd walked in on him and Vegeta watching a movie together—a scary disaster movie that had driven Krillin to nightmares and Vegeta to laughing so hard he nearly cried—and so assumed they were/could be friends.
"It's so nice to see him getting along with someone." Beaming at her lover who was inhaling a sub and getting sauce from the meatballs on his chin, as though he were her son.
Krillin just nodded, hands going to protect his own food. "Um. Alright."
It had been carnage at the table, and after spending two hours watching people die of volcanoes exploding as the comet hit the Earth and people drowning from the rising seas, Krillin had been starving. He would have said anything to get the food that Bulma held over their heads, making him promise that he would come by more.
So he came back a week later, after Bulma had called to remind him, and was shoved out the door less than two minutes later. But now he was with Vegeta, and the blue-haired scientist was with them, and all three were carrying ice skates. The Saiyan looked even more confused than Krillin felt.
Somehow, she got them both into the car and into the ice rank without them realizing they could fly away and escape. Something about her going on and on about how great this was going to be, how awesome, it was just great that they were all getting along, why hadn't they thought of this earlier?
When it came to him that they could have just left, Krillin was tying the laces to the skates as Vegeta next to him on the heavy bench just stared at his. As though unable to conceive what they did, and what they had to do with him. As funny as the image of the uptight warrior on the ice was, it couldn't bring a smile to his own face as his imagination provided movies of his own self out there. Falling, sliding all over the place, bashing his head open, or bashing the ice open and causing people to be harmed.
370. And I Won't Be Denied By You, The Animal Inside of You
Finally, after six weeks of awkwardly trying to date of trying to act normal and like respectable sane adults, Juuhachigou had rationally come to the decision that now was the moment to take whatever virginity Krillin had salvaged from their moments alone together. Yes, he would be shocked and uncertain, and yes, they were right now at a party that his friend Yamcha was throwing, but tonight was it.
Fifteen minutes, Juuhachigou decided to set her imaginary timer for. In fifteen minutes, they would have cramped sex somewhere. There had to be some empty closet somewhere in this gigantic house.
It was really Krillin's fault she felt this way. That sleeveless shirt had crumbled her control and forced her to admire his arms. Take note of the pale skin of his chest that could be seen. It was hot, and that also wasn't improving her mood. Plus, Krillin was wearing shorts, and that was never a good thing. Less clothes than normally, sweaty, basically left alone in a crowded party…even watching him pogoing around on the dance floor hadn't detracted her. Even that he had been sober while doing it only made her like him more.
He was sweet, and hers, and she was fairly sure he wouldn't say no to her request.
Tonight, then.
Bulma eventually came up to her, carrying two red cups full of some liquor, and neither of which was offered to Juuhachigou. "You've been staring at Krillin all night."
"Yes."
"Like. A starving animal. Are you—"
"Yes."
"Oh. Ew. I didn't really need to know that."
"Tonight. Five minutes."
"I don't want to hear the timeline. Right here? At Yamcha's house? Hah, poor Yamcha's house. The safest closet is upstairs, in the gym. It's door is hidden. Pull the medical dictionary in the bookcase on the right, and it'll open up."
"…I think you just ruined this, a little."
371. "Fun or no fun, we'll get to Goku's house a lot faster this way."
Juuhachigou cowered in the closet, hiding the best she could behind snow shoes and jackets and boots. Besides her, Krillin was practically shivering into her side, seeking comfort. She refused to give him any, hissing into his ear, "We just had to move out to Sons' house."
"I didn't realize how annoyed Chi-Chi was going to be with us."
There was enough strength in her little finger to turn the other woman into a fine layer of ash, many times over. Only a handful of fighters were stronger than her, and once she could have killed all of them with little more than dirtying her clothes. "You should have chopped that wood like she asked, Krillin."
Considering the strongest of the bunch was currently hiding from this woman as well, in the attic, Juuhachigou felt her own reaction was warranted.
"Let's just go back to live with your brother."
"No. Not again." Her hand balled into a fist, remembering the board game and having to sleep on the camper van's table.
"I guess this leaves going to Capsule Corp." His voice was bleak in the narrow box they crouched in. "With Bulma. And Vegeta."
"…let's give it another week here."
372. I'll Pay For You, Anytime
"You hand over the mashed potatoes right now, shrimp."
Vegeta would have no problem taking the bowl away, but not without damaging the spuds.
Krillin pulled them closer to his chest. "Let me just get a spoonful, at least."
"You give them over, right now, or I'll blow up your toaster." Precisely, he raised his hand, pointed at the blank-faced blonde cyborg.
Krillin glanced down at the white mash. "Fine. Just lower your hand."
"You hand over the potatoes!"
"You lower your hand!"
"The potatoes, shrimp!"
"The hand…shrimp!"
"Can we have one dinner without someone trying to hold someone else hostage?" Bulma asked. It was an increasingly daily occurrence at the Capsule Corp house, since Krillin and Juuhachigou had temporarily moved in.
Juuhachigou was not amused.
373. I'll be in your car
I locked the keys in your car
I'll be in your car
For now
Krillin's scream, high-pitched and drawing the attention of the other humans nearby, almost made the humiliation of being here worth it. The heart attack was really a balm for the hours wasted here, waiting for him.
374. "Just Because I'm an Android Doesn't Mean I'm Not Still A Woman."
In retrospect, shuddering uncontrollably over her touching him was a bad thing to do. She had, in her own twisted way, been vulnerable. Perhaps in the only way she was capable of. Did anyone more than Krillin understand what putting yourself out there in such a way meant? The humiliation of being rejected, even more so with such a physical, visceral reaction from the person that had no interest?
Still, he had shivered in disgust over her whisper and the subtext that was the question, and was rewarded with a broken arm rather than another teasing touch.
375. A romantic dinner for two but not for me and you
Seeing them again gave him such a sick thrill that he nearly dry-gagged as he jumped behind a garbage bin and hoped they hadn't spotted him. Bad enough to be viciously murdered as Future Trunks had foretold, but to be killed in some alley while a yellow-eyed cat gave him a dirty look seemed just a pathetic way to go. As one of Earth's strongest fighters, at least he shouldn't die cowering, though. Krillin drew himself to his feet, trying not to quiver in his weighted boots.
"You're such a moron!"
"Why can't you be reasonable? Just this once?"
"Because you're a moron!"
They were fighting. Looking ready to start tugging at the other's hair.
At least they weren't trying to hurt anyone else. No one seemed to be getting murdered. Yet.
It was just a matter of time before Juuhachigou was killing kids rather than trying to trip Juunanagou up while he went around the other side of the van. The pink van. The darker android looked the same, if only with moderately more mussed hair, but the pale girl had gotten different clothes. Nice ones. She actually looked normal, as she laughed over the other android falling against the side of the van hard enough to dent the metal siding.
Juunanagou only gave her a look promising revenge as he picked himself off.
It was a terrible look, no matter how Juuhachigou laughed it off while looking particularly darling in that vest and those dark jeans. How could she put up with him? Yes, they could both be homicidal and sarcastic, and seemed to be the same age, and had been created together, to be each other's partners, but he was cruel in a way she wasn't. Even if she had swung poor Trunks into Vegeta.
Because she had, she had been teasing before. Vegeta had started everything. And there…there was a sense of humor to her, harmless. Like that kiss. Something any normal girl could have done, or well, not that there were a lot of girls going around kissing him, but messing with him was behavior he was well acquainted with.
They were still bickering. Maybe that's why they were so cruel: relationship problems. Like when Vegeta and Bulma would scream at each other, because of the romantic tension that had become only obvious after she'd shown up with Trunks.
He could—maybe he could help with that. If they liked each other, maybe they'd be less homicidal. Love solved everything he'd always been led to believe.
Look at Vegeta: probably less homicidal since Bulma.
His plan, born out of a hundred romantic comedies watched with envy and cynical-ness of the hopeful, came together as he followed them. Keeping his ki low, and his eyes on what he'd need as he flew behind them. Thankfully, in this residential area they drove through with the same bliss a missile might show, there were plenty of stores. After they'd stopped to camp in a forest on the outskirts of the town, and the two small androids had left to see a movie, Krillin laid out his trap. Thankfully, the big guy was busy exploring with much rustling, the wild life. The wooden green bench and table were easily brought over, and the white table cloth he bought covered most of the obscene graffiti.
Who made this, was it you, no I thought you did, Juurokugou no, aw, it's so sweet of you to do this, it must have been you.
In the darkness, with only candles and a thoughtful fire extinguisher set besides the wine bottle, it made a nice picture. It was romantic. Krillin hardly believed he could have made something so pretty. For the sake of the world, making well, Juuhachigou, and of course Juunanagou happy, he had brought out the best in himself. He allowed himself a moment of appreciation for this, this thing that might save the entire world. It wasn't easy, to cook out here, and in under two hours' time to make sure he wouldn't be caught. Now where was the potato peeler.
He would have killed for someone to care enough to do this for him. Or to have someone for him to do this with. No one could resist such a charming scene. Maybe they should have tried this with Frieza.
For the third time, he found himself in an awkward position involving the androids, and for the second time, he hid from them.
They stood there, staring, disturbed, at the place setting and table.
"…what the hell?"
"…did Juurokugou do this?"
"Maybe. Him and his squirrels."
"I…don't even want to know."
Juunanagou was looking around. "It smells alright. I'm sure him and his bird friends won't mind if we eat some of this. How much can a bird eat, anyway?"
"Depends how many there are. And stop saying that about him."
"C'mon. Just sit down."
They looked charming, sitting there, messing with the bread bowl and poking at the veil cutlets and fresh fish. "You know, whose ever this is, we should probably finish it before someone shows up."
Juuhachigou had the more suspicious mind. "Is this even okay? What if it's poisoned?"
"You think the Scooby gang did this?" Juunanagou was already digging into the bread and soup and butter.
Less charming: the way they ate. Not unlike Gohan and Goku, really. A little neater. Less sauce in the hair. At least, Juunanagou was like that.
The blonde one wasn't touching anything. "It could be. You're probably dying Juunanagou."
He shrugged.
"Krillin." A deep voice seemed to echo through the clearing. Bouncing off that stupid van. "Krillin. Best friend to Goku. What are you doing here?"
"Shush!" He nearly screamed, knowing that it was already too late.
The two other androids were frozen, eyes wide. Looking towards the bushes he was crouched in, and Juurokugou stood conspicuously in.
"Told you. You're going to die young, Juunanagou."
The darker android was staring with something close to alarm at his pasta.
"Bring him here, Juurokugou." Juuhachigou was crossing her legs, glaring.
If he was going to die, it might have been nice not to be picked up and carried to that death. He felt like a kitten, as Juurokugou grabbed the scruff of his neck and brought him to the blonde.
"What did you do to the food?" Juunanagou demanded. "And the wine?"
"I told you not to touch anything!"
"I didn't do anything to it!"
"Then what the hell was this, if not a dumb trap that only my idiotic brother would fall for?"
Juunanagou glared at her.
Krillin meanwhile, was being set down at her feet. And trying to understand what she'd said, in-between being glad that she wasn't wearing a skirt while he sat there at this angle. The worst part of him, the part that hadn't made the sauce, noticed things like that, and that she was as single as a homicidal android could be.
"Oh, oh my god, you're siblings. I had no idea." He nearly began to laugh a trifle hysterically, until he received twin blue glares. That shifted away from him and towards the silverware and dishes. Then start to yell at him.
"How could you possibly think that? That's disgusting! What is wrong with you?"
"I was just trying to help!" Krillin tried to reassure her. Siblings. Not lovers.
"So, it's not poisoned?" Juunanagou asked, while digging into the pasta.
"No, it's fine. Of course I wouldn't try to poison you. That would be very dishonorable. And I wasn't sure if you two could even eat." Only Juuhachigou caught that last line, and gave him an evil look.
"Juunanagou. Would you wait? Make him taste something, to make sure. Here, eat this."
His brain wouldn't just let him suffer quietly, as he waited for his death. It made sure to remind him that this was the closest thing he'd gotten to a romantic dinner with candlelight, as Juuhachigou practically unhinged his jaw as she forced a roll and half a flank steak down his throat. Then let him lie there at her feet, trying not to gag, as she went, 'huh,' and decided to dig in herself. Plus the shoe pressed into his forehead, followed by her voice as she said that as soon as they were done, he could clean this up for him. And then wash their van, after dessert. Now get up and serve them wine properly, and he better not expect a tip for this.