Author's Note:

Chapter Twenty: in which Juuhachigou teaches Krillin the meaning of the holidays and vice versa, HS AU, AU's in general, and one where Juuhachigou is the one getting a haircut.

Now updated.

I am your vision, you can't escape.
I am your rival, your mistake.
I am your tease, taste my kiss.
I am your fantasy, touch my bliss.
I am your torture, I am your pain.
I am your enemy, and your shame.
I'm your lover, I'm your fighter.
I'm your angel, your desire.
I'm your life, I'm your death.
You can feel me with every breath.
I'm your siren, I'm your lure.

What do you want from me?
What do you think you see?
What passion bring this tragedy?
Is saving me your strategy?
One kiss, then I'm gone.
One look, then I turn.

There's nothing to my soul.
So blame me

I am torture, I am pain.
I am your envy, I'm your insane.
I am your lover, I am your fighter, your angel, your desire.
I am your Anubis, I am your baby, I am your kiss.
I am your life, I'm your death.
You can feel every breath.
I'm your siren, I'm your lure.
Your Medusa, your cure.
I'm your sensuality set before reality.
With shining hair and glowing eyes, a pretty face.

That never dies.

What do you want from me?
What do you think you see?
What do you want from?
What do you think you see?

You follow me too easily.
There is so much that you don't know.
There is more to me then what you see.
So turn around and go.

Into your lover, I'm your fighter.
I'm your angel, your desire.
I'm your vision, you can't escape.
I'm your rival, your mistake.
I'm your tease, I'm your kiss.
You remember, I'm your bliss.
I'm your torturer, I'm your pain.
I'm your agony and your shame.
Your night is black, I'm your death.
You can feel me with every breath.
I'm your siren, I'm your lure.

Your medusa, you're my cure.
I'm your beauty, you admire.
I'm your passion, your desire.
With giant hair and glowing eyes.
A beautiful face that never dies.

No
Oh
Oh, can you see the part of me...
Don't you see me.
You even see.

What do you want from me?
What do you think you see?
Passion brings this tragedy.
This secretly your strategy.
Kiss then I'm gone.
One look then I turn
There is nothing to my soul.
So baby I'm your girl.

What do you want from me?
What do you think you see?

What do you want from me?
What do you think you see?

Don't fall from being too easy.
There so much you don't know.
There's part of me than what you see.
So turn around and go.

Oh.
I fall... down...from you
Oh.

Bruce Faulconer-Android #18 The Android Sagas:

I guess in a way, Dr. Gero isn't all that bad though; after all, he did create one of my favorite characters. She's drop dead gorgeous and will drop you dead in your tracks … if you're not careful. She's a bit of a mystery, too, but that's always the case when you're falling for this hottie…right Krillin? Android 18! Hurt me!

And so does love conquer all? I guess we'll have to just wait and see…

476. "Fasten your drool cups, and ready your vomit bags! We're going to the movies! Frights, camera, action!"

-Crypt Keeper, Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)

Unfortunately, because she spent so much time in her prehistoric house that her brother built, Juuhachigou's dates were out of sync with reality. She'd thought it was the September twenty-first, but the rest of the world believed it was the thirty-first. Of October. Her internal calendar was finally checked, and she stood there in blue jeans with a dumb expression on her face. At least she'd been somewhat right about the season, though there was no excuse for only now taking in the fake spider webs that were strung up everywhere and those grinning jack o' lantern, cut so perfectly to resemble a familiar face, though the Namekian never smiled like that.

The amount of them, so many pumpkins, on the porch struck her as odd. It gave her a bad feeling that no vegetable should have.

Juuhachigou didn't even have time to run or knock on the front door.

He nearly ran into her, again, in a way that she hoped for his sake was accidental. Krillin's hair stood was neatly combed, rather than his usual look of a man that had repeatedly jammed a finger in a socket. He was wearing loose clothes that she knew too well. He had finally reached his dream, and become Goku's long-lost little brother.

The effect was only partially murdered when he did a little twirl in place. "You like?"

"No. God no."

Juuhachigou could say, with a hundred percent honesty, that Krillin had never been less attractive.

"Are you coming trick-or-treating with us?"

Krillin didn't even give her a chance to reply.

"Oh!" He clapped his hands. "I know who you can be!"

The small human raced out of the room. Then he came back, bearing a pair of scuffed blue sneakers, a black shirt, and a long sleeved white one and some awful scarf.

Where the hell had even gotten this? Had he bought these, just waiting for the chance to spring them on her? Juuhachigou would rather not know.

"God, no."

But he was pushing the clothes into her hands. "It'll be fun. Besides, it's better to have backup when looking after these two."

That was when she noticed the two small children on his couch.

The little Son boy barely seemed aware of his surroundings, deadly serious about watching the TV screen, but Gohan waved, perfectly polite. Both in matching puppy costumes. From the candy bar wrappers spread around, they'd already begun to dig into-why the hell had they even bought candy? What child was going trick or treating all the way out here, besides these two? Why were they dressed up?

Why was she now suddenly dreading, regretting, coming out here for what definitely wasn't a date.

The news was on, and the blonde cyborg hoped for a breaking story about the tsunami headed this way. Maybe, maybe there would be a spontaneous war that broke out. The Black Plague was back, and with a vengeance. You heard it here first, on Action Five News, Halloween has been canceled. Poisoned candy. A rapist cannibal on the loose. Zombie uprising. Malfunctioning androids. Vegeta, finally snapped. Anything.

Or she could have left, right now, rather than see any more of the ancient turtle dressed as a mermaid, the old man and pig claiming that they were dressed as lifeguards. Better than her brother's suggestion last year that he was supposed to be the leader of a cult, and that was what was up with all the Kool-Aid stains. Juuhachigou could have shook her and walked away; Krillin would have forgiven her, if been disappointed.

"We'll go to a fancy party, and you can get drunk and eat an entire bag of candy!"

"You really know how to lay on the charm, Krillin."

Not stood there, and nodded and took the Sippy Cup for Goten in one hand, and let Krillin take the other to lead her from house to house. Together, they watched a ghost robbing a wolfman, and none of them did a thing, as they were currently struggling not to choke on their gumballs. With a sudden chill, at the thirteenth or thirtieth house, Juuhachigou realized people must think that they were a family. But even though that should have been enough to send her fleeing, she couldn't explain why she was dressed too-similarly to her twin brother and on some suburban street, on her knees and trying to tie Goku's son's shoes. Tugging at her ridiculous scarf. Listening and agreeing to go to Capsule Corp to meet up with the others for a party that someone was throwing.

Bulma was in a skintight orange skirt and a blue sweater, and unexpectedly, a pair of round glasses. Krillin had to shake his head. "Is that supposed to be a gi?"

"A better version of it. This year was easy, I just borrowed the entire thing from Yamcha."

Krillin mercifully let that one pass. "What's with the glasses? Are they part of the costume?"

"Are you supposed to be the smart Saiyan?

"They're new—I am not getting old. Shut up. They're only temporary. Until I get contacts."

Gohan piped in with, "I think they look nice, Bulma."

"Thanks, Gohan. See, at least someone here has manners."

Krillin was smiling. "He's just being polite to get some food from your mom. Not that I can blame him."

"Better than Vegeta eating everything. He literally was eating a pumpkin. Raw. With his bare hands. I think there was still a candle in it."

They spotted him in the living room.

There was a grimness to the Saiyan, the way he ate and watched the screen. He had no problem with the premise of a doctor sewing three people together, and didn't blink at the method of how this doctor would attach them. Nor was there any response to Krillin making a fist and speaking into it, detailing that they were watching the elusive Saiyan Prince, not in its natural habitat, but even in captivity, wasn't it was sight, just wait until it fought with his mate for territorial claims of the land, coming up on Briefs Week, oh, no, what was he watching, what was happening to those people?

She could only roll her eyes, still holding Goten's sticky hand. The other wanted to cover his eyes, but thankfully the child was enraptured by a giant orange cake. Juuhachigou let him run to it, the small boy embracing it like it was a reunion with his dead father, then went to wash her hands. Then got lost on the way, until a blonde gypsy woman pointed her in the right direction.

No sooner had she finally found the bathroom did an earthquake hit, shaking numerous pictures of Bulma and an occasional miserable Vegeta off the walls. Thankfully, the plumbing still worked, though. Plus it seemed to clear out people, and that was usually a good thing in Juuhachigou's book.

But when she got back, everything was further shot to Hell.

Bulma was yelling at everyone and no one. About the party, about how pissed Vegeta was going to be once he slept off the candy and brandy and realized what had happened.

"I bet it was Vegeta! He did it to himself."

Bulma shook her head, curled hair falling into her face. "No! Not this time. It usually explodes, not implodes, when that happens."

"Maybe Son's wife? Chi-Chi? She isn't here."

"No way. She wouldn't do that." Krillin explained. "The last I saw her she was lying down after taking a few aspirin. You know the kids have been eating sugar since this morning."

People from inside were grouping up, strangers, in costumes. She watched a bee and a Viking dance next to a grey-skinned alien clown that had seen better days. Serial killers and bikers and people in old-fashioned suits lounged with robots and ninjas. A zombie and a newscaster were making out while bedraggled man in ragged fur crying in the arms of an underdressed female sheriff. Behind these two, a dirty ghost was blatantly laughing at them all, drinking what had to be rum. Monsters. The scariest of which was that purple-haired weirdo boy, who was holding a child that's costume was apparently to look like this nutjob that ran away from her. Then came back, sans toddler, to yell at her and accuse her of mass murder, of evilness beyond definition, what was she even doing here, Krillin might fall for it, but he knew better—

Juuhachigou had to interject over any attempts at calming the annoying boy down. "Why do you have a sword? Still have a sword? What's your costume? Walking Idiocy?"

"No, that's yours!"

"What a clever comeback."

He reached for his supposed weapon. "I think first I'll cut off that hair…"

"I'm going to stick that sword- "

"- Hey, Trunks."

It was to him, with that blatant casualness and the thoughtfulness as Krillin handed her a drink, that the psycho turned his rage towards. "What is she doing here, Krillin?"

"I invited her? Hey." The short man was all smiles and a tilted head. Aimed at her. Worse than the sword. "I was looking all over for you. Where did you go?"

"To murder a puppy, I guess. I'm a diabolical madwoman, according to this freak."

"Aw, Trunks. C'mon. Can't we all get along?"

He looked, yes, like Bulma…after six espressos. An extremely unpleasant sight. "…Are you drunk?"

"Not really. But did you guys notice what happened to Vegeta's training chamber?"

Blue beady eyes with unsettlingly pale eyebrows measured her up; both of them remembering when she'd swung him into Vegeta, but only one smiling at that memory. "Where were you, Juuhachigou?"

The blue-haired woman turned on her. "Yeah, we all know you hate Vegeta!"

"Who doesn't? But I wouldn't have done it." Then she corrected herself. "I wouldn't have lied about that anyway."

Krillin was pouting. "Juuhachi wouldn't have done that, you guys."

"Oh. 'Juuhachi,' huh?"

"What? God, that's disgusting, Krillin." The little drama queen made a face, gagging.

"Huh?"

"Don't play dumb. Maybe your girlfriend likes that, but we don't."

Juuhachigou's voice stayed deadly low. "If you both keep talking, I will make a human shish kebab — "

"—here's your pastries, dear? Cake everyone?" The gypsy magically seemed to glide in, baring platters. "Oh, where is that nice Roshi fellow, Krillin?"

She probably wasn't a mastermind, this woman, but Juuhachigou was instantly suspicious of her. How easily she got around without opening her eyes…at the least, it was unsettling.

Krillin shrugged, mouth only partially plugged with a Danish. "He said he would be here."

"Maybe it was the old man?"

"What? No way."

"Can't you just build anyone one?"

The scientist was shaking her head. "At this hour? No way. I deserve a break. Tonight is about making fun of everyone's costume and having a drink."

Why even care about any of this? On the other hand, it could be a handy excuse to leave. 'I had to leave Krillin, to solve the mystery. What, your friends didn't even want me there.' But he would make that face, and guilt-trip her. God, why wasn't she drunk yet? Get drunk and eat candy, just like Krillin had promised her. If she collapsed in a haze of alcohol poisoning and sugar, so be it; it would not be the first time.

And of course, if the worse did happen and she finally did sloppily make out with Krillin, then that would just have to happen. They would deal with it like adults, and pretend it never happened the following morning. Just like the previous awkward stumbling times that hadn't occurred and had never meant anything anyway, no matter how Krillin looked to be moving closer, perhaps to finally make a move in front of people and when relatively sober. At least, at the very least, it wouldn't end with a complete mental breakdown as someone began vomiting and a voice repeating that it totally wasn't them, it was the alcohol that was the problem and there was no need to cry-

"- Juuhachigou?"

For the briefest moment, Juuhachigou had gotten away. But the place she'd gone really hadn't been any better. "What?"

"Are you coming?"

"Where? What?"

"We're going to investigate," Bulma explained. Because apparently that was a good logical reason.

"Help Vegeta? Why?"

"Well." Krillin's face was perfectly blank. "I guess you could stay here and mingle. Make some friends."

"Shut up."

He was all but beaming. Smug. Bastard. "Look at it this way, you're doing me a favor."

"Why would that make me feel better?"

"I'll owe you one."

"Ugh. Stop flirting. I don't need to picture your sex life."

The small, smug man stepped between the two woman. For his sake, Juuhachigou ignored him pushing her outstretched hands before they could find Bulma's neck. "Let me just find Gohan and Goten. I don't want to leave them alone."

"Because this place is such a death trap—actually, yeah, you should probably keep an eye on them. Hurry up. The only way there is through this path."

"What? Why can't we just fly?"

"You're not leaving me behind!"

"We'll carry you," Krillin assured her. Though he already had his hands full with Goten, who was convinced the man was a human jungle gym.

"In this skirt!?"

When had she decided it was okay to let humans push her around? The first time she'd seen Krillin again after Cell, shopping, and he'd bought her candy and flowers because of that other horrible holiday, and Juuhachigou hadn't killed him? When Cell had absorbed her brother and then a strange, confused little man confronted her with means to destroy her?

Outside, it was as dark and foggy as a swamp in a horror movie. As though nature hadn't cared that this was a bright building on square lot of plain grass in city on a temperate landmass.

If there was ever a house that could be haunted, it might as well be this place. People had been resurrected on that lawn. Alien had hung out here, perhaps performing an autopsy. Why not? And Vegeta and Bulma lived here. How could there not be something dark and unsane transferred into the very building itself? Inanimate object finally rebelling the laws of nature and physics.

"Why's it so foggy?"

"Fog machine broke."

"Why don't you just unplug it or turn it off?"

She flapped her arms. "Can't find it."

Krillin nearly fell over, and for a moment they lost him in the fog. Then he ran into Bulma, who had already slapped him before he could apologize. Ten seconds later, they lost him again when Juuhachigou's elbow lashed out at him. Waited five minutes for him to find them all. "Jeez, you know that wasn't intentional."

If only it were foggier to keep her from having to look at him. "Why don't we hold hands so no one gets lost?"

That was when Goten walked into the rusted van and sent it flying back a good ten feet. Thank god.

"I guess we can use that to find out way. Floodlights. Even though I have no idea how that even ended up in the backyard."

The time really had passed. Why even bother trying to slip away in the fog? There wouldn't be any over-the-pants drunken groping in some dark corner, for better or worse. They would do nothing, help no one, and have to watch two children the entire time. Sneak candy and deal with his annoying friends. Like they were married. Married for years, and in a rut, and they hadn't even seen each other naked. Technically. Outside of some video files she would never mention to Krillin. Juuhachigou would prefer not to even contemplate the supposed 'courting' that had happened.

It would have been easy to just sit in the back, but she wanted even the tiniest shred of control. Over something. "Just let me drive then."

"Uuuh."

"No way, Juu."

"Not after last time you tried to drive."

"…you weren't even there!"

Bulma was pushing her away from the driver door. "We all heard about it."

Ignoring the melodramatic faces from Krillin, her own sudden unease, she easily shoved the human woman aside. "No. Shut up. I'm driving. Move. I have better eye sight than either of you."

Objectively, Juuhachigou would be the better driver. Never mind all the times before. Unless she decided to really drive the car into Capsule Corp and through the building. Guess we can't help Vegeta anyway. But why give someone the satisfaction of proving she was a bad driver, why allow Krillin to be right about everything and justify the clenched jaw and theatric gulping?

It wasn't under she was searching for the keys and finding them on under the visor that the blonde cyborg understood her own reluctance.

It finally happened. She was in an oddly familiar van, with a 'genius,' a loyal, dopey sidekick and a dog, solving mysteries.

Juuhachigou tore off the scarf and felt better for it.

Krillin was not helping. As always. Gently, annoyingly, needlessly, he touched her arm. "At least this time I'm not throwing up and you're not crying."

"What?"

"Shut up."

She would have gladly thrown them all through the windshield.

But the she would have to watch the two children, one of whom was getting cranky.

"Is this really necessary, you guys? Can't we go back inside?"

A reasonable request that Juuhachigou might have backed up if not for the figure caught in the headlights. Eyes like a psychotic deer. She knew exactly who that shape belonged to, and thought for a good ten seconds about whether or not to slow down. Until Krillin finally told her to stop, please, it won't even hurt him, and you know it.

Blinded, Vegeta stumbled around to the side of the van. Pounding the doors. "Woman, what the hell did you do?"

"To what?!" Bulma called.

"I know you did it. Because of that damn sauce you- "

Then he seemed to remember there were others nearby.

At least she and Krillin had not fallen that far down the rabbit hole.

"We'll talk about it later, Vegeta. Right now we're trying to find out what happened to your training chamber. You know. The one you supposedly didn't blow up. The first ever you didn't destroy?"

"Aren't there security tapes? Why don't you check those?"

As glad as she was to not have to look Vegeta in the eye, it was disgusting to see him and Bulma shifting their gazes away. To see that and know why they were determined to be silent even when Gohan and Krillin continued to ask them what had happened.

"We broke them. Let's leave it at that. Vegeta's fault, anyway."

The Saiyan let it go. "I expect it to be repaired tomorrow, woman."

Then he disappeared into the fog, ignoring his partner's cursing. Though he did answer one of the questions that Bulma asked, one he didn't think was unnecessary after all, about whether or not he knew where either of their children were. "Who cares?"

"You know how easily Older Trunks gets lost!"

Juuhachigou attempted backing up. "Well. This has been a lot of fun. Now how about we go back inside and— "

"This isn't about you finding any excuse you can to be alone with Krillin, Juuhachigou!"

Murder her.

"We need to make sure this wasn't an attack on Capsule Corp. For all we know this was something aimed at the entire company. Maybe it's some evil space emperor. Again. Or an evil space pirate. Remember them, huh, Krillin. Hah, and you tried flirting with that female one—"

"Bulma!"

Impossible to muzzle her. "Only she tried to kill you. I guess your bad-girl fetish finally-"

"Would you knock it off?"

"Anyway. You two can make out later."

The small man refused to stop digging himself in deeper. "Like you didn't want to jump on that Zarbon guy! The man was evil, Bulma. And you and Vegeta! What the hell was that?"

"None of your business," she informed him with quiet dignity.

"Sure. Now it's none of my business. Until you try to kick Vegeta out and send him to my house. Then you just love sharing details no one wants to hear! Really, Bulma, you just keep talking about personal details and then I have to act like I don't know horrible things about the guy…"

"Yeah, what about you and that Maron, huh, what about that? You were practically bragging. Every time we saw you together. That dumb message on the answering machine. I bet you never got to second base!"

"Yeah, well! Yamcha told me all about you two! What you did to him!"

"I—what I did to him—"

"The roleplaying was pretty horrifying." The cyborg slipped in.

"What the hell do you know about it?"

Even Krillin seemed startled.

She could only shrug. "Gero's programming was very thorough."

Bulma was an unpleasant person to back into a corner. "Then why are you dating Krillin then? You've seen his track record when it comes to women."

"What women?" Juuhachigou snorted.

"I guess he can put some lipstick on his left hand and name it."

"Call it Goku, I bet."

She and Bulma had to share a laugh.

"- You two are awful. There are children here. Children of Goku. Horrible. And, and, you Bulma, are the one to name things after Goku. Like we didn't all know about the crush you had. Everyone but Vegeta. Huh. How do you think he'd feel hearing about that?"

She turned in her seat, a fury of curly hair. "Are you trying to blackmail me? You want to play that game, little man? I used to live with you on Kame House."

"Yeah, I remember that. Very. Well."

Juuhachigou had to speak up. "What the hell is wrong with you both? You think anyone want to hear about either of your pathetic lives?"

"No," Krillin allowed. "But it's Bulma's fault. She started it."

"Stuff it. And if anyone has a pathetic life, it's you two."

"Both of you need to shut your mouths or I swear." Juuhachigou said, determined to not murder anyone tonight. To let things pass, and pretend she wasn't here. Just like Gohan and his little brother in the back, who had to listen to this. "…and who is 'Maron'?"

"A…it's not important. Gero didn't even include it. It was so miniscule."

Bulma backed him up. "No, it isn't important. No one, really. Really…god, but she was so stupid. How could you date someone like that, Krillin? Did that chest really make up for everything else?"

That was when their conversation was broken up by a huge crunch of broken cement and cinderblock and destroyed metal. After a moment, every picked themselves up.

"Did you just total this van, Juu?"

"Told you she shouldn't drive," Briefs muttered as she searched for her glasses.

"Shut up! You both distracted me!" Satisfying, to rip out the steering wheel and send it flying.

"Calm down. Haven't even told you about that Mint girl."

"What?"

"Oh, come on." Krillin was opening the doors and helping Goten out. "We're leaving. Let's go, kids. We can find some candy and leave Bulma to her craziness."

"You're not leaving me to this mess."

"Oh, fine, just go and get some over-the-pants action. I don't even care." The blue-haired woman heaved a sigh. "Let's go in. I should probably find my kids."

"Yeah, especially Future Trunks. Remember when he got lost in the basement. I can't believe the stuff you have under there."

"Oh, it's just a few experiments. The cloning thing went nowhere. No, okay, it went somewhere, and we still can't find it."

"I think it was the stuff with the uh, androids that freaked him out more."

"It seemed a waste to let Gero's work go to waste. No, calm down, I abandoned it. It wouldn't matter even if I got it all working and used it to help us fight. Krillin would just fall in love with it and insist on letting it go free. Yeah, even if was responsible for the possible destruction of the entire universe. He, oh, yeah, would not use a remote on it, or anything that might help all of us out. Not save the world." She left them in the kitchen with that, taking the kids that looked very uncomfortable at this point.

Leaving her with guilt that she had no reason to feel. She wanted a candy bar and a beer and to sulk away in a dark corner. Rather than sulking around this bright kitchen.

Now Juuhachigou had to deal with him taking her hand. "Juuhachigou. I have no regrets. You know that, right? That I did the right thing."

Something flickered through her stomach. Might have echoed on her face, because he was moving in closer against a wall.

"I don't suppose there's any chance. Uh. We might have a second alone. To talk. Later."

If only she didn't know that warmth in his black eyes and what it meant. And feel her own face flushing. "I don't know. What exactly is it you have to say that can only be uttered when we're entirely alone?"

Krillin made a face, scratching his chin in thought. "It doesn't have to be when we're alone. Just depends on how modest you're feeling."

"Ugh. Shut up. We have to hear this." The last voice she expected. Completely ruining the mood, and thank god he'd spoken up before something worse had been said. Or done. How long had he been standing there in the doorway? He tossed back some chips from a nearby bowl by the over, and Juuhachigou hoped he choked.

"Juunanagou?" Already, a layer of sweat was breaking out over a pasty face. "We. Uh were talking about our plan. For helping Bulma. She's in a bad mood. That's all. Juuhachigou is here because it's a party. Like why you're here. You were invited too. Totally. Just a bunch of friends hanging out. Yeeah, hey there. Bulma! Bulma! Over here. No, get over here. Yeah. You too, Trunks. No, don't hurt anyone.

"See. Just friends."

None of them could look each other in the eye.

"What are you even doing here? If you had any brains, you'd have stayed away."

"Like you? Oh, that Briefs woman pissed because of that training capsule I blew up?"

The Briefs woman came close enough to hear that. "It was you? Why?"

"Revenge. Someone took my van. You know, sis. The one I left at Sons' house?"

Goddamnit.

"How did it get here?"

Bulma's eyes shifted. "Chi-Chi lent it to me. We, uh, figured out it was yours. Just keeping it to study."

Krillin was more upset than necessary. "What could there be to study?"

"Skin cells."

No, the small man just had a better idea of his friend's psyche. "Ugh."

"It was for science."

"I don't even want to know." She could have slipped away into that fog. Like nothing happened. Forever. Perfect time.

"I should sic Vegeta on you. Or Trunks. He'd be happy for the chance. Look at him. Why did you even say anything?"

"Had to shut that dweeb up somehow."

"Ouch, did you hear them talking dirty to each other. Gross. Understandable that would have driven you crazy."

The purple-haired man just had to make a face, and Krillin was trying for a silent, wounded dignity with his crossed arms and stare away from them all.

Juuhachigou would have gladly taken a butcher knife to them all. "That's not what happened! He is crazy, though."

"Yeah. I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for my annoying sister. And her dorky boyfriend."

477. I Said I Was Into You, You Said You Were Into Me

"Alright."

"Fine."

Like responsible adults, they backed away from each other. It wasn't anything like Krillin must have expected his confession of love to go. Juuhachigou herself wasn't sure if it was good or bad that there wasn't anything more dramatic, one of them almost dying or something, but maybe it was for the best that there was no hugging or tears on the short man's side. Or from hers, given her shifting emotions lately. They watched each other carefully, avoiding outright eye contract. All but sniffing in disdain. She even crossed her arms.

"Want to go out to dinner tomorrow night?"

"Fine."

"Alright."

478. But I Swore I'm Done With Humans

It felt like cheating.

That's how deep he'd fallen.

He had taken note of other woman, after meeting Juuhachigou. Of course Krillin had; he wasn't stupid. It had been an impossibility. Down to his soul that had been husked out since he'd seen her for what he'd thought would be the last time: cornered by Cell and helpless. Even as he found himself alone, watching Goku and his family, and thinking of how afraid she'd been, and wondering what part of Otherworld she was in, Krillin had known the truth. It had been a forgone conclusion that there would be no joining, a we, but someone or something that would keep them separate.

But after that second, her turn back, the glance, she'd given him another new and terrible gift, not unlike that kiss.

His heart had taken that plunge with her, forever now in her small, horrifyingly strong hands. Her hands that he should have spent more time memorizing the span of fingers and width of palms before they might slip from his memory as another day passed. They were, must be, a little like the ones before him, near the candle. Enough.

Not enough.

But they will have to be.

Wasn't he lucky to have any girl across the table from him? Someone that looked concerned. A woman that he would never wonder was real or not. There will be a new pair of eyes to fall into, and a pretty head that will contain thoughts that Krillin will want to know every detail about, and want to sooth that wrinkle in-between dark eyebrows.

They will fit; he will want it to work.

"Krillin? Are you alright?"

479. I got no money

There haven't been many moments of self-awareness, in this haze that had consumed him. But this had to be one, this thing that suddenly stabbed at him.

Ever since Juuhachigou had decided to stop by and effectively never leave. In fact, neither of them had left this room in quite some time. Why leave this bed, if neither needed to go to the bathroom. There had been some provisions, and that was all they'd needed—things that she'd brought in a backpack that looked ridiculously cute on her, but now only reminded him of perhaps this minor arrested development that they both might be suffering for.

They hadn't even been kids playing house, as Goten might do with his toys before Trunks would run over the dollhouse with his mother's car—to Bulma's freakout and the dark-haired boy's tears. Even getting to the kitchen was a voyage Krillin had been on since last Tuesday, maybe. It was easier to lose himself in the reverie and study of Juuhachigou. The brightness of her hair to the backs of her knees to her smile and cheekbones and delicate pink of under soles and squirming toes. Neither had even thought of cleaning or inviting others for a tea party or noticing anyone else but each other.

Six days like this.

But here it was, the sudden wakeup.

Krillin nudged Juuhachigou off him the best he could considering their limited sleeping arrangement of a mattress pad and sheets that needed to be changed and pillows that had slipped away, reaching for the itemized and official bill that had been slipped under the door. It listed things such as the rent he was now being charged for, hot water he'd used, for the damages that had been incurred by him over the last couple of days, thanks specifically to his new girlfriend.

He was thirty-two-years-old and now expected to pull his own weight by paying this bill.

And realizing that he couldn't.

480. Your Pretty Face is Soaked in Blood (You Know I Still Find You Dashing)

She awoke atop a cliff with the closest person to her looking dead.

Very dead.

No, more than looking; he was definitely dead. You could not live with a hole in your chest big enough to shove your fist through. Two fists.

Juuhachigou knew him, roughly. Well, she had swung another man into him anyway, and he'd attacked her with a sword, of all things. Screaming about his father while she beat the living hell out of Vegeta—she didn't know what that was even about. Didn't want to know what that could be about.

Her clothes were damp. Her newish clothes stolen from a decent mall with disappointingly un-fun security, they had recently been wet for some reason she could not even begin to guess.

Then she noticed that besides her feet, the dead man—boy-his ridiculous purple hair was moving, shifting, and oh, the ground was shaking. Juuhachigou turned her head, and finally noticed the gigantic balls of ki that were currently interlocked. Even without being able to sense energy, she knew that this was more than she could ever hope to produce, to fight, to defend against.

Alright.

That was a thing.

This was the second worst awakening she could remember having.

Or was this another nightmare?

Cell had been descending on her, the cyborg knew. One last gift from Gero. Her brother, the ringleader, she herself might have called him laughingly, already taken and devoured. Juurokugou had been injured, and why not assume he too was dead. Would Cell have spared him, for some reason? Or would the others have destroyed him for what he might have done? Because they couldn't kill Gero's strongest weapon?

The smart thing would be to fly away.

The cyborg also knew the people down there.

One of them was the Son boy, Gohan, injured and bloodied, but seemingly holding his own against Cell. His own energy was far beyond anything Gero had offered to share in the databases, had only hinted about, mentioned how Goku's son had bouts of sudden strength that came with fleeting rages. For now. It couldn't last; he was just a boy, Saiyan or not. Even now, Juuhachigou could see how he was faltering. Soon to crumble before the creature on the other side of this battling energy.

She could nearly hear the gloating from Cell now, right before he crushed the remaining fighters.

There they were, barely able to stand. The Namek who had been so eager to fight them, was still on his feet. All rage and howls she could nearly hear. With fresh eyes, the blonde cyborg in drying clothes could see the Saiyan Prince by the Son boy, fallen if not yet dead. The useless humans, more casualties, that looked ready to collapse. Sheer will was the only thing keeping them still going, all of them, and she felt a moment of what half respect and half disdain for all these men.

That one right there she knew all too well.

She didn't know the name she'd been born with, how much of her memory had been programmed into her, if she'd ever had a mother and father let alone what they'd looked like. But Juuhachigou did know pathetic when she saw it. And there it stood. All short and bruised. Worse condition she'd actually seen him in (in person anyway). At least he wasn't trembling and shaking so much. Was actually still alive, if looking like he'd rather just collapse and lay there like the wounded animal he was.

The last time Juuhachigou had seen him, Krillin had, what, been preparing to fight for her? Right before they'd both been blinded. Even then, she'd heard him stepping in front of her to block Cell. Fruitless and dumb, but yes, brave. Stupid. He was so stupid, trying to crawl and get back up. A swatted insect that needed to learn to play dead, and was that something to be proud of or another mark of where his intelligence lacked?

She knew that. That was why he hadn't used that remote. If he had, they wouldn't be there, none of this would have happened. The galaxy wouldn't be in the hands of an injured child—and the blonde cyborg knew that Krillin must hold himself accountable for all this. Was that why he still fought? For absolution?

Not that she could leave either. She couldn't fight Cell, but wanted to not die running. Hadn't she fought Cell, at the end? No matter what else Juuhachigou might have been in another life, she was still a warrior.

At least there were only limited morbid thoughts right now. Nothing about her last breath or that she would die not alongside her twin but among those she'd wanted to kill not-so-long-ago or how short and stupid this, no, her entire life had been, that she had never escape Gero no matter how many times she might replay his death in her mind. Or maybe to worry about what had happened to Juurokugou and where the hell was Goku for that matter.

It felt good to move, and to feel her ki rising, to look out onto the battlefield. It would be funny to see his face when she snuck up behind him. Maybe she might have time to get a few punches to that bruised face if only to make sure he damn well knew how badly he'd fucked up before this entire planet was blown apart. Juuhachigou could nearly smile.

There was still, after all, her self-destruction device.

481. White meat, dark meat
You just can't lose
I fell off my moped
And I got a bruise
Turkey in the oven
And the buns in the toaster

She'd nearly ducked into the stack of wine, headfirst, to avoid them all. An instinct bred from battle, and common sense. But the damn cart had gotten in the way, and she'd still been partially stunned by the sight of Krillin serenading a turkey to the amusement of a blonde woman clapping politely and an exhausted blue-haired lady that Juuhachigou did know, if not personally, that was half-passed out against the display of corn based stuffing.

Juuhachigou hardly had the chance to slap a normal expression on her face as he jumped in front of her.

"Juuhachigou?!"

There were too many people; if she blasted through the roof, someone might get hurt, and it would be her that would be blamed. Not the stalker that didn't know whether to hug her or not. With a dumb pair of surprisingly normal slacks and a hideous orange sweater because Krillin just couldn't help himself. His eyes, black, shone like an animal's would when finding its master. Juuhachigou wanted to hand him a bone to gnaw on so he'd at least look away. Go fetch, boy.

It had been six months, and this reaction was completely unwarranted.

At least he did not hug her. Yes, at least there was that.

The way he nearly ran to Bulma was like a child. All but jumping up and down. "Bulma—this is Juuhachigou. Remember?"

The eyes were bleary, still smeared from last night's eye shadow. Her hair needed a wash, and her skin was marked not by tattoos but from color markers. On her designer silk shirt, the stains were either of wine or cranberry sauce. On her back, a dirty child wailed. If Juuhachigou had ever, ever, considered settling down in a so-called normal human life with its expectations of a husband and a child (and she had not), this alone would have persuaded her otherwise. "What? Who?"

A blonde woman by Brief's side was both closer to reality, and not. "It's so nice to meet you."

Juuhachigou began to look for her brother, as she never had aside from that brief period after Cell when she'd been completely alone. But he was never around when she might need even so much as a distraction. Right now, she could just run away. Escape. Strange, bizarre, undignified, but at least she wouldn't have to attempt conversation.

"Can she come along? With her…" Krillin was looking at her. As though she had even said that she might want to come along with him. Had she even said anything to him?

"…Brother?"

"Yeah, what the hell? Why not? I'm cooking for everyone else!"

"Thanks, Bulma! So, do you want to come, Juuhachigou? It's going to be great. Unless, you know, you already have plans." The cyborg watched every nervous gesture this strange man made with his fingers. "With your twin brother. Or maybe, I don't know, someone special you had plans with."

That was when her brother finally immerged from a throng of people digging through a stack of green beans. "Let's get the hell out of here."

"Why? I'm still looking for the yogurt. Oh, hi, Krillin."

Juunanagou just had to play innocent. For the ninetieth time, Juuhachigou wished she could strangle him by that scarf. How dare he act like he had no idea what was going on. Act confused. Bastard.

No one had ever been more polite to her twin. "Hello, Juunanagou. How've you been? I was just inviting your sister to Thanksgiving. I know it's short notice, but would you like to share the holiday with us?"

Now was the chance to escape. Throw a pie into Krillin's face and flee. 'We'll share it with you in Hell!' 'No way creepy loser would we want to spend a single second more anywhere in the vicinity of you and your idiot friends.' By the time the shrimp realized what was happening, they would be long gone.

She had to hold the pumpkin pie in her lap the entire trip there.

All while listening to Bulma complain about this entire event. "This should be Chi-Chi's job! So what if she was pregnant? Did a little morning sickness ever hurt anyone? No? I didn't think so. It never mattered before that her house is too small. This is such a clusterfuck. So last minute. Even my Mom can only do so much.

"How much time did they give me? Uh, let's see, oh, it's five now. So that was a great forty-five minutes of warning! And of course everyone can fly. God forbid I get some prep time.

"And don't tell me that you're going to help. Everyone says they're going to help, but then they wind up in front of the TV to watch the damn parade. No one even cares about that crap. It's, you know what it is, it's just avoidance. 'Stuff the turkey? What, but I'm watching this.' Bastards.

"I was up until three A.M. last night. Doing work. Does anyone care? You think Vegeta offered to babysit to make things easier? Of course not. He says to me to 'watch the brat' because he's so busy—doing what, watching a wall? He hasn't even trained in months. All he does is mope and act so superior because, I guess, he managed to put on pants today. Turned on the TV. Bravo.

"You know what's going to happen to, when it comes down to it? No one's even going to properly eat. There's no way this is enough. Not for all of us. Have you seen them eat? They'll finish this off in fifteen minutes, then we'll have to go to whatever restaurant hasn't banned us all yet. What's even the point?

"You better damn well help. You and your twin. He can at least babysit. Thank god you two are too skinny to do too much damage.

"How the hell am I going to cook this turkey?

"Why am I even doing this? None of them are even grateful."

All Juuhachigou could do was nod.

At least she wasn't stuck watching the baby, like Juunanagou was. The baby that was still in diapers, and loved to pull long hair and to scream and hit everyone without reach with its rattle. Who had taken a shining to Juunanagou and wanted nothing more than to sit on his lap and stink and scream for no reason whatsoever. All for her twin brother, under the careful, groping eye of Bulma's mother, who saw nothing wrong with squeezing the android's cheeks and proclaiming them absolutely ador-aah-ble.

…and Krillin better not think she hadn't seen his little grin and nod over that description.

She couldn't even ask herself what she was doing here. It was all so pointless. If she started to ask herself questions, where would they end? They would turn existential, and eventually Juuhachigou would wish she had that device still implanted inside her and then would turn to raging at Krillin—who sat right behind her, dodging the infant and Juunanagou's attempts at handing it over.

It would be easy to turn around and punch him, but what would that accomplish, in the end. Besides the joyful personal satisfaction of seeing Krillin in pain.

Capsule Corp was nice enough, Juuhachigou would allow. Large, anyway, if lifeless and a tacky pale yellow. The lawn was completely without charm, although she did think the large topiary animals that had been so crudely arranged were kind of funny. Nowhere near as scary as she had been told, and had pictured from Bulma's description of this place that had turned into a place where it was every human for themselves. Even having to drag bags inside and hearing of the drudgery that would follow she'd thought it would be mostly exaggeration.

Until she got inside, still holding this damn pie.

Krillin was attempting to act the gentleman with the others, offering to take off jackets and hang them. Awkwardly standing there when he reached her and realized that she didn't have a coat. The man had no idea what to do with his hands. "Uh, can I get you something? A drink?"

She didn't even like pumpkin pie, it occurred to her now.

"I'm going to need a large one, aren't I." The first thing she'd said to him. And something that could be construed as being fraught with Freudian implications. Would she spend the rest of the evening having to consider every word out of discomfort that she might lead him on? As though Krillin needed any encouragement.

"Sure, I'll find something—" He spend off in some direction while she could only stand there and watch her brother being whisked away with the baby still clinging to him.

Now. While no one was watching. Just open that door and slip away. Put down the damn pie and get out. So what if Juunanagou was still trapped here; she had left him to die once before.

"- Juuhachigou." The deep voice echoed.

Despite the cape and green skin, she hadn't even seen him sneak up. "Piccolo."

They stared at each other, and Juuhachigou tried to pinpoint the last time they'd seen each other. When he'd been fighting with her brother, right before they'd both gotten their asses handed to them by a giant cicada? Or after that hideous bug had removed her from himself, apparently -wait, hadn't Piccolo said that Krillin had taken care of her after Cell had 'spat her out'? Of course Cell had, and Krillin had 'taken care of her' and Piccolo had last seen her…in that white tiled place, telling that bonehead off and then revealing that she didn't entirely despise him and might in fact not hate seeing him again.

God, she'd been so mistaken about that fact.

Why should she feel sweat on her neck and worry in some aimless way of what he might say to her. Why waste any energy on that? He didn't look ready to murder her. Not yet. It wasn't like she'd insulted his absurd turban or how obvious it was he'd become a father to the Son boy, or hadn't said something truly cruel about his ridiculous friends, especially that dweeb that had definitely built up some inane idea of her and had made his interest in her so apparent. Yeah, Juuhachigou would probably have to set Krillin straight on matters, but she hadn't yet, so there was no reason why anyone here would want revenge. There were hardly any serious plans to burn this building down with the people still inside. Hadn't even been the one to murder Goku.

No, no, it was definitely uncomfortable now.

This silence had gone on unspeakably long.

Why was he even here? Didn't he hate humanity as well? Could he even eat turkey? Her files were vague about that…but not about everything.

Wasn't he capable of reading minds?

"Hey, Piccolo!" There was no need to wonder if she had ever been so glad to see Krillin. "Here Juuhachigou, I got you this."

The mug was a lifeline, until she took a sip. "Is this hot chocolate?"

"Uh-huh."

Disappointingly virginal. Like the rest of Krillin's life.

God, she had to stop.

He stood there, polite and eager and in a dumb sweater. "Can I can give you a tour?"

"Yeah, sure. That sounds fine."

At this point, Juuhachigou would have followed him into a closet to escape that alien's look. And given the sudden decidedly strange look Krillin was giving her over the eagerness of her response, she would have to put that claim to the test. Seriously. What was that look? Too narrow and serious, considering. Considering what, what base he could get to right now before she beat him into a bloody pulp that no one could recognize, wondering if he could ask her to make out before Bulma found them and demanded they help with the yams.

And now they were alone.

Really, there was no one anywhere.

"Are your friends already here?"

Had Krillin someone gotten word ahead and told all the people that had to be here to clear out.

"Oh, yeah, they should be here." He laughed. "Maybe they're hiding in the closets from Bulma."

The wall at least was lined with pictures of usually Bulma, some of which were humiliating and other illuminating. Things like when she'd had braces, which even Gero had neglected to mention. Even ones featuring Goku, who could not be embarrassed, and sometimes Krillin, who had somehow been even shorter at some point. Vegeta looked awful in every single snapshot.

"So, this is the right East hallway. Most of it."

Okay. This hallway had nothing but rooms with comfortable looking beds. To say anything about that was impossible. She couldn't put more ideas into his head. Probably, literally, could not add more fantasies to that round head.

'Boy, there sure are a lot of beds here.'

'Yeah. I guess. So what?'

'Oh, I don't know. Why are you dragging me around to show off beds. Beds that two people could fit on. As in us. As in you think I'm going to hop in bed with you. Generally thinking that we're going to screw around right now-but especially thinking about it in a house filled with your friends.'

Piccolo better not be listening in here.

"Maybe we should go help your friend."

"Oh, sure. I think I hear the others around here somewhere. There's only be so much I could share with you on this tour right now anyway. The good stuff is usually hidden away from the public."

…Had Krillin just winked at her?

Juuhachigou wanted Piccolo's mind reading abilities. No, wait, she didn't.

Even though she'd never set foot in this place, had no maps of it installed, she still just about led Krillin to the sanity of the kitchen. It was chaos, with a woman weeping in the corner, flour everywhere and it looked like someone had tried to put a can of cranberries in the microwave from the amount of smeared red on the walls and the state of the appliance that rest there on burned marble, smoking. Gohan was there, sitting at a small table, giving a hundred-yard stare to the plate of burned rolls.

Yamcha was the first to notice. To look up from the gravy bowl and greet them. Damn him a hundred slow deaths for that sudden smirk.

"Hey, there, Krillin."

All but patting Krillin on the back.

"So, should I give my congratulations or—"

Juuhachigou wasn't sure where she'd even grabbed the butcher knife. "If you finish that sentence, I'll make sure you never—"

"No, Juuhachigou."

"I was just complimenting the sweater!"

"He was, I swear! I thought I'd lost it!"

"Fine. Let go."

Now Krillin flinched when she turned the knife on him.

And no one was even giving them a second look.

Disturbing, how the shorter man was almost grimacing, and then trying to smile at her. He finally let go. "I think dinner's coming along here. We could go into the living room."

We.

Goddamnit, where was her brother? He should be here, his dumb smirky face should be here to at least offer the possibility of more room between her and Krillin. Even if he didn't want to ease her suffering and leave, or at least make sarcastic comments to him about everyone else here.

There were pictures lining the walls, and Krillin was pointing out each one. Going on and on. Blabbering, at this point, his nervousness setting Juuhachigou on edge to the point of nearly grinding her teeth. Which must have only made him all the more anxious.

Of course no one came out to help either of them.

When they found the TV, it was really a blessing. It didn't matter what was on the screen so long as it filled the silence. Or that Krillin had to pick it up to put it on the counter facing the table. And that her gaze had slipped downward during this brief period which he couldn't have been able to notice.

The balloon floats really were as dumb and boring as Bulma had spoken of, and Juuhachigou could feel her eyes glazing over. While Krillin sat never to her, all but bouncing up and down on the seat. The cyborg could all but see him going through his head for something to say that would kickstart the conversation and not leave either of them avoiding eye contact as that snapshot of him shirtless and drunk outside a bar with his friends and making his best leering expression at the camera had done to Juuhachigou. 'I don't understand why they even put that on a wall.'

…And he'd been staring at her for maybe the last five minutes.

Disturbing, the look Krillin was giving her. Really trying to focus on her. Right into her eyes. "What exactly do you think about the socio-economical factors of us celebrating this holiday?"

"What?"

"Or are you okay with it, because you're from the north?"

"What?"

"I mean, you look northern. Or half-anyway. Are you from North City, or West City?"

All she wanted was to drive a finger through his throat, beneath the Adam's apple. "I have no idea."

"You don't know?"

"How stupid are you? Gero removed our memories. What, did you think we enjoyed being named after numbers?"

Sinking down another few inches, Krillin looked ready to go all the way and slide under the table to get away. "I'm sorry. Gosh. I had no idea. Is there any chance that I could help?"

"How could you help?"

"Maybe, maybe I could find some way of tracking down…someone that might know." He looked up from his hands. "There's still a chance that you could find that out. We'd all help."

Was he moving in closer?

"We would."

Gohan was the first to wander out and join them. Technically. He still seemed gone, and she was not reassured by remembering that he was the strongest person in the universe.

Bulma had achieved some victory. For having them all together, and without an outright murder yet. This forceful familial bond that the scientist had crafted and chained these people together with. She was the bond that brought them together it seemed, not Goku. Why she wanted this, why she cared about that, was beyond Juuhachigou.

She swore, this time, Yamcha had definitely winked at an exasperated Krillin.

Chi-Chi was arguing with Tien, and Juuhachigou remembered ransacking the Son house. Outside her brother and Juurokugou had waited, and she had found her own delinquency of turning over furniture and laughing at bad clothes and flushing birth control pills. Then she noticed the other woman's stomach. Couldn't even make eye contact, out of fear the human would see the regret and pity on her face. Had really done the opposite of what Gero had wanted from the cyborgs.

Someone must have directed Vegeta towards her, and she and the Saiyan could only stare at each other. In disbelief that someone could have been this dumb, that anyone could have thought any of this was acceptable. They both imagined the next hour, and before Juuhachigou could get up, Vegeta was already walking away and moving towards Bulma. No, to the turkey—and now to fight with Bulma for it. Even he watched the knife in her hand warily.

"You're not ruining this holiday, goddamnit. You've destroyed enough. Enough.

"We're so close. I'm actually about to cut the turkey. No one's gone insane. No one's gotten stabbed. We've never come this far before. Just sit down. Why do you have a problem with someone you've never met before? Sit down. Wherever.

"Trunks, you go sit over there. Across from Dad."

The turkey was completely overdone. Bulma nearly tore a muscle in her arm and then left a new scratch on the table as she attempted to saw through it.

She heard a hiss across the table. Saw stupid purple hair and a dumb jacket and his horrified expression. "You."

"Oh boy. Trunks." Krillin held his arms up, defensively. As though that had ever helped anyone. "Calm down."

"Why are you here?"

You didn't need to sense ki to see his own rising. Alongside his blood pressure. And hair.

"She's here as a guest. Look, buddy, she's one of the good guys now. I swear it. Promise. Come on. It's the holidays. We can move past old grudges."

Now he was leaning towards her. Smiling. At his most charming, maybe, and how much of this was just shaky confidence. Or how much before had been a lie. Something flickered in the black eyes. "Right, Juuhachigou? You're a good guy, now."

In response, Juuhachigou stared him down. Unblinking. Until he was grinning in response, as though it were a staring contest and one that she lost by searching again for alcohol. Glasses nearby that weren't filled with water were a blessing.

The first glass went down too smooth.

At her wary glance towards it, Krillin answered. "It's sparkling cider."

"For God's sake."

"Do you need something, miss?" The old man was digging through his pockets. "I think I still have some acid tablets left."

For a brief moment, Juuhachigou might have been tempted.

"What? Dad, stop handing those out. But anyway. Who are you again?" A disarming laugh. "And what's your brother's name? Since he is babysitting my kid now."

It was almost easy to roll her eyes. "I'm Juuhachigou. He's Juunanagou."

The blue-haired woman slapped her forehead. "You're…"

Now Krillin was back to sinking down in his seat.

"That's what I've been saying! This is one of the androids!...who's watching the baby?"

Yamcha was adding over his own glass of wine. "But it's alright. Neither of them stabbed anyone. Exactly. We can all be friends now."

The other smaller human was nearly beaming. "Why hold a grudge?"

"Exactly. Nothing wrong with them now. Right, Krillin?" Hideous, the knowing raising of eyebrows. Judging looks. The horror of wondering if Krillin had said something to these people, spread lies to them.

Juunanagou took that moment to find his way in, a bright red splotch on his shirt. All but collapsing into a seat and ignoring the double takes. "What, are you flirting with him again, Juu?"

"With who?" Krillin asked, too quickly.

Juuhachigou wanted to hit one of them with the other.

Then she finally noticed the host's own expression.

"Are you saying." Bulma's voice was deadly quiet. "That all the horrible shit that happened…all the people that were murdered, including my son…that Goku died, so that you could try and get laid?"

Not me, Juuhachigou nearly said aloud. That really was nothing something that weighed heavily on her mind, before and after. Especially considering she got to see the consequences of that right in front of her. Goku had been the smart one after all, to die and escape these people.

Krillin was desperate. "No, never! It wasn't about that! I couldn't kill an innocent person just because someone else wanted to hurt her. It wasn't her fault. And no, I wasn't trying to do anything with her. Not ever. Not really. I thought she was dating Juunanagou.

"I'm sorry. But I didn't know you two were related! Trunks left that one out. Along with a description. Yeah, you didn't know. Still, though, it was very confusing.

"Shut up, Master. Please.

"Look—I, I just couldn't hurt someone that hadn't done anything wrong, Bulma. I didn't have it in me. No, I wasn't trying to sleep with her. Stop making that face. All of you. And it wasn't Juuhachigou's fault. She didn't want to leave her friend behind. How could I hurt her? Don't you judge me; you weren't there. You didn't see her…

"Please stop glaring Juuhachigou. I couldn't use that remote on you. It went against every instinct I have. No, it wasn't because of the…you know. Would all of you stop staring at me? It wasn't because of that thing. That thing you did before. What, I know you remember it. You were there. Both of you.

"All of you calm down. No, no, jeez, nothing happened. Like that. Kami. You guys. It was after they beat everyone up. She knows what I'm talking about. I know you do. You have to, right. Or do you do that a lot to people you meet, was it just that insignificant-

"If anything, Vegeta should be the one blamed for what happened," Krillin finished.

"Yes, what exactly were you thinking when you decided it would be a great idea to let Cell absorb Juuhachigou?" Tien gave the uncaring Saiyan a dark look.

"Screw both of you," Bulma declared to the shortest men in the room. "Neither of you can be trusted. I apologize to the androids for all of this. Congrats on being able to make them the victims, you two. No, you're not getting any turkey. Not now or later."

The purple-haired twerp was staring at Briefs and Vegeta as the others grimaced. "What are you- ew."

"Right in front of the kid, huh." Yamcha shook his head, and Juuhachigou didn't need mind reading powers to know he was feeling particularly grateful that he could leave after this meal.

"That's right. None for either of you. Right, Juuhachigou? Don't look at me like that. We're all adults here. Except for Gohan."

Krillin was a broken man, all but crying into his drink, mortified, mortifying. "We should talk about what we're grateful for."

Bulma emptied the last of her wine bottle into her glass. "I bet we all know what you're glad for."

"Ham." The old man, Roshi the Turtle Hermit, muttered. Said right next to the talking pig.

"I guess we're alive. Most of us. Sorry, Chi-Chi."

"Vegeta? Vegeta?"

"I will not—"

"Just make it easier on all of us and say something. Anything."

Yamcha was offended on everyone's behalf. "C'mon. One thing? How about family? Friends?"

"Really, nothing? Who's surprised by that? Anyone? Let's see. Nope. I'm glad I get to go back home and rebuild that timeline. What about you, Mom?"

"What am I glad for?" Bulma stared into a half-empty wine glass. "I'm glad that we're all here, together."

Everyone groaned.

"Liar."

After managing to get any food on her plate and not have that stolen, then finding the kitchen to leave her plate on a flat surface, sneaking away after another argument broke out and then shooing away Krillin when he eventually found her again, after all that, she could search for her twin and try to recuperate.

She found Juunanagou lying there in a child's bedroom, coated in markers, one outstretched hand clutching a bottle. Her brother had found absinthe, and hadn't shared. Instead, he hallucinated alone, if quietly, and left his twin sister to sulk. To sulk and lean against a wall and kick him. Downstairs, Bulma was ranting about what they had done to the underdone turkey and how it was possible they had eaten all the stuffing already and ranting that all the nearby restaurants that did takeout had already blacklisted Capsule Corp.

"I had to spend the entire day with these people. You know how horrible they are to deal with, sober? What they did to that pumpkin pie?

"Thanks for forcing me into this. It was really worth it to you, I'm sure.

"I hope you can't find the way home."

A creak at the doorway was her only warning, and Juuhachigou hated that these people could sneak around so well.

"Are we that bad?" His smile was warm, relaxed. Schizo. Juuhachigou could have gladly scalped him, no matter what a challenge that would have been.

She didn't like how he kept his lower half hidden by a tooth mark-ridden couch. Or the way he looked at her, eyes lidded. Looking like he had nothing better, could imagine nothing better than listening to her ridicule him and his friends. Which was the truth. A reminder of his unsettling unblinking gaze that Krillin was a man, and one that adored her at that. He would never understand how little she cared in return for his feelings.

It wasn't often that Juuhachigou was creeped out by someone else.

A hellish day. Complete with Juuhachigou getting too good a look at him in those chinos.

"How's your brother?"

"Fine. I don't care. You take care of him."

Krillin was checking for a pulse. "Thanks for actually coming along though. I guess it'll be good practice for Christmas though."

"What?"

"Don't worry about gifts or anything like that. Just showing up would be nice. It'll be right here, so you can find us again. Christmas day, if you're free. Maybe you won't be. You could, I don't know, have plans with someone. Make plans with them. If you were even interested in doing that with someone."

His obliqueness left them both confused.

"I just hope we can be friends then. That's all. No weird…"

"What?"

"Tension. Feelings. General weirdness. Since we met trying to kill each other."

"If it will make you act normal. Then fine. I guess we can be friends then." All but gagging at the thought while he beamed. Coming closer. Too close. Could all but see her horrified expression as he awkwardly shoved his mouth at her.

What the hell?

Unintentionally, she found her hand around his neck. Fast, even for her.

"Why did you do that?"

Once again, Krillin was raising his hands. Only this time, someone really was going to be decked. She wanted to see him having to pick up his own teeth while pleading forgiveness. "Piccolo told me to go for it. Mentally. Not that I hear voices in my head. Regularly."

Hated him. "I'm going to murder you."

"I should have waited, until you were okay with me. Until we were both comfortable with this."

"'This'?" Her voice was so high.

"The connection we have? When you kissed me, remember? You still look in shock, are you okay? It took me a second when you did it to me. No. No, I wasn't. I'm still reeling from it. Juuhachigou, Eighteen, ever since we met, I can't stop thinking about you. Your laugh and the mean way you make fun of everyone. Every time you smile. Your blue eyes. Being with you is like being struck by lightning." Krillin had a strange, funny smile on his face.

Juuhachigou removed her hand.

"I swear, I came up with a good speech in case we met again." His voice a whisper. "I know I have no right to ask. To think that you could ever feel the same way for me."

"What gave you the impression I care? That I was even capable of feeling the same way? For you? What, you think because you acted nice to me before that I owed you something? When I didn't even you to help me? I'm not some prize for you to earn."

"I know that. I do. I don't know how handle how I feel about you. You're not a prize, or some object. That's the point. I like you, as a person. I want to be with you."

"I don't feel the same way. Never. If I never see you again, it will be the best thing that ever happened to me!"

Behind them, miles away, her brother was laughing. "That's it. We'll definitely be here on Christmas."

482. Drank Too Much and I Said Too Much, And There's Nowhere To Go But Down

It would have been nice to blame this on her twin, or on anyone but himself. Not even Bulma, who'd given him the idea to yes, actually go up to her and say something; she could not be blamed. Because she certainly hadn't told Krillin to continue bugging her all evening. To not let her just be, but instead wanted to ruffle feathers and dig under that pale, of-course-perfectly-flawless skin. To see a reaction, if she even noticed and cared.

As though she were ever a woman to deal with ultimatums and someone you could back into a corner.

Krillin could remember, no matter how badly his head hurt. He'd pushed a point, in front of the other if only partially, that he was tired of this half-thing, that was he so bad that she didn't want to be seen in public, didn't he mean enough to her? The last thing he could remember was asking if she was going to come back to his place, which was the worst thing he could have said to her.

The words that he now scrambled to tape up. If only to himself. No, to himself and only to himself because as always that was all Krillin had. I will settle for this half-thing if it means I can see you again.

Self-pitying truth that no one wanted. Even Krillin knew that. Too little, too late. Unwanted in the first place, and he'd known that all along.

I love you and want to be with you in whatever way.

That was the thing he would tell her, if he ever saw that bright head again.

I'll make this up to up, Juuhachigou.

483. Through a thin layer of rubber, and a thick rusted armor of drunken lust

It was Juuhachigou, in the end, to save him for once and take the phone out of his hands. Fitting, since she'd driven him to this, and they all knew it. First to drink, and then to mope some more, and then to calling his ex and trying to track her down and hope that she remembered him and was still single. And was free tonight, and could find her way to Kame House.

She pulled his phone away, asking somewhat rhetorically. "Are you really trying to call your ex in hopes she come over and finally sleep with you?"

"No!"

"That ship sailed four years ago, son."

Oolong barely glanced up to even bother sympathizing with Krillin. "And it sailed away with a lot of men on it."

Juuhachigou's face was becoming increasingly terrifying. The eyes widening, and the mouth becoming a thin line, hollows forming in her cheeks. It could have scared anyone away from their depression. "You were going to call your ex in hopes of some sort of pity sex?"

"No! Not that it's any of your business!"

"You did it right in front of us!" In front of her, was the math everyone but Krillin could work out. "Are you really this pathetic?"

"Yes. As you remind me every day."

"Don't blame this on me. If anything, I'm the victim."

484. Oh Mr. Mistletoe
wither and die
you useless weed

I'm Crashing into the Tree—God I Hate Christmas Time

It was nothing he wanted to actually voice aloud—though by now everyone seemed to have picked up on his plans as soon as they saw him nailing up mistletoe everywhere. One glance of him with a sprig and a stapler, and his friends immediately asked some form of the question, "So Juuhachigou going to be here?"

With all varying levels of disgust and disbelief and apathy.

Never before had the holidays been such a rush of hopefulness and fear.

Misery would come juxtaposed against the jolly movies with happy endings and bright presents so carefully wrapped. Opportunity and fear came hand in hand, as he and Juuhachigou never would be.

She would never touch him again. Krillin had to buy her a present. She would laugh at his invitation, and throw it away. He would conveniently find himself beneath a sprig of green, smiling and charming, and she would lean in eagerly. She had never gotten the invitation he'd so meekly put in her mailbox before fleeing. They might talk like adults, and carefully express optimistic plans for the new year and their new relationship. She would bring her brother.

She would bring her brother.

He made too much food, then fretted that it wouldn't be enough. Took to chewing his fingernails, and laughing too much over what his roommates did to the gingerbread men, only to have to make a whole new batch and cram the desecrated ones into his maw.

Never before had he been the type to outright hate the holidays. Even as a stubborn, awful teenager with a name that unfortunately involved chestnuts that the other monks would taunt him about if he stood too close to the fire, and they hadn't even celebrated that holiday in the temple. On Kame House this time a year, it had been a strange time. Storms and eggnog that always nauseated him, even years later, with the same terrible jokes about his name from his new friends, trying to slip glasses of the punch Bulma and Yamcha had spiked and watching Goku eat the decorations off the tree. Then, later, as puberty had shoved his face further into the dirt, the depression at seeing others nuzzling and laughing as they fell onto the fresh fallen snow. Mistletoe.

Every year it got worse and worse. Single throughout all of them, watching Yamcha and Bulma be horrible in some way, and then eventually Goku and Chi-Chi though at least then he and Gohan could cover each other's eyes. The first winter with Maron, that made the one after it all the more depressing. Always he got false gold, if that.

Now he pulled himself out of bed at a ridiculously early hour to check the turkeys and basically, what amounted to an entire herd of cattle in the ovens, to be rotated ever hour. Watch insipidly happy Christmas movies until Roshi took the remote from him before he could break it. Glaze carrots and hang decorations that fell from limp branches as even in winter it was too humid for this pine tree he'd carried all the way here from West City.

Got to watch Bulma trying to pin a reluctant and moderately drunk Vegeta, and then got to cover Yamcha's eyes. Worry about yams and cranberries and the precarious tree that Chi-Chi kept almost-knocking over with her stomach.

But Krillin had control.

Even when everyone was here, and he realized he'd simultaneously bought too much and too little alcohol, it was okay. Goku wasn't here to eat gingerbread, an Olympic quality of gingerbread and tinsel and garlands of popcorn, and empty the fridge and get into a fight with Chi-Chi after he'd holding her down and administering ridiculous smacking kisses that left everyone embarrassed and laughing. He was missing all of this. She hadn't showed up, and that was alright. Better. Safer. He needed to get over his feelings, and to do that, he had to not be around her. Or else it would be a disaster, he'd sink further into that miasma of guilt and fear, the overwhelming urge to put his arm into a wood chipper to spare himself further pain, then, ah, she would look at him and Krillin was damned and glad to be.

He poured himself another glass of eggnog, and pondered the resilience of the human heart.

It was such a lousy season.

Trading material things in exchange for your dignity, for kitsch dancing bearded men and lame carols. The monks would have been disgusted with all of this. Chestnuts roasting on the fire, indeed.

He huffed some more, breaking a gingerbread man into small pieces when something hit the back of his head with a hard thump.

Krillin whirled, knowing that Vegeta should have been cut off six margaritas ago.

There was no fresh snow that could match the whiteness of his mind.

Perhaps she had gotten into the spirit of the season with that red skirt.

Juuhachigou had no idea how attractive she was. Never understand the full extent of his feelings and reaction.

No-of course she did know how pretty, sexy, she was or she wouldn't have worn that outfit. Or looked at him with that shrinking smirk. "Do you have any idea how pathetic you look right now?"

"Yes."

It was true, all of it. His romanticism of her, building her up as a beautiful dangerous woman phenomenally out of his league by miles and kilometers. All of it deserved. A goddess to worship at her heavenly alter, he her disciple that had no choice but to admire and prostrate himself before her, because he loved her, forever blessed by that curse.

"Whatever."

The only good thing about Juuhachigou leaving you was that you got to watch her walk away.

Krillin lost her, somehow, in the small crowd that flooded the house and did worse damage than literal floods. Nearly got into a fight with Vegeta because of the Saiyan distracting him over sandwiches. "Go ahead, take all of them, I don't care."

Bulma even had to step in before an arm was torn off. "You okay?"

"I don't know. Did you see a blonde woman around here? No, I did not hallucinate her. Why am I asking you? You're drunk. You probably wouldn't recognize your own kid. Again."

His oldest friend still living yelled, "I hope this one dumps you too!"

"I dumped her!"

"No one even believes you!"

Krillin had to walk away before she tried tearing a leg off.

Got lost in his own home. Then had to duck and hide upstairs after seeing Juunanagou.

Dende, of course she had brought her brother. Who knew what she'd told her twin brother? He could be here for blood. Definitely.

It wasn't the first or last time he'd stayed up here during a party. Paying more attention to books or the TV than to the ruckus downstairs and only pausing momentarily when someone finally broke a window. It was a safe place, in his room. Plain clapboard walls, everything clean as compared to the horror that would follow the Christmas morning, when whatever presents remained were opened by squinting people in the living room devoid of lights and even the blinds shut. Mugs of coffee in shaking hands, 'Kami, it's bright.'

Upstairs, all Krillin had to worry about was not closing his eyes fast enough when passing by Oolong's room.

Only there was no Goku around to pull him out of his room and push a messy present into his hand. 'I wrapped it myself.'

Up here, even here, there were decorations scattered here. Red like puddles of blood, and who would know better about that? Green poison and tacky gold. Music downstairs on repeat, it never ended, there was no end to them. It couldn't be escaped. The damn lights that wouldn't stay up. Of course it was all ruined. Nothing ever went right. Couldn't even decorate properly.

Krillin found the ladder downstairs, but still no Juuhachigou.

For the best. He had already made a fool of himself. Who was he kidding anyway? Never would they be together. Impossible to imagine a realistic opportunity for them to be even more than strained acquaintances. Again, Krillin would harbor a crush, doomed and wretched, until—forever it seemed. So much worse than the other times, this time was. Because it was so star-crossed and pathetic. Maybe she had been a hallucination.

"What's the point?"

"Exactly. What?" He nearly swallowed his tongue as he did a double-take.

Juuhachigou was there by his feet, and he still wasn't entire sure she was real. "You're going to have to take it down anyway."

The small man was going to be a good host, and pretend that he didn't despise all of this. "It's seasonal. Besides. It looks nice."

"That explains a lot."

"What do you mean?" Then he looked down, and wished he hadn't. There was no visible cleavage, but yet, there could be, and that paralyzed him. A new angle to watch her at. She seemed smaller up here.

Krillin watched Juuhachigou reach out and pull the ladder away from the wall.

A second blur of a jolly face that promised holiday joy before Krillin hit the ground. Bringing down the lights, after he reached out for a grip, because he forgot he could fly, and was making a general ass of himself.

"Whoops."

"Thanks. Really. For making this entire day even worse." At least the pain confirmed that she did exist. Presumably.

"That's the dumbest sweater I've ever seen."

"I know. But you have to wear them. Because it's Christmas."

"What's your excuse for the rest of the year?"

He could, almost, sort of, see up her skirt at this angle. May Juuhachigou never know. Could that be his Christmas present? Please, Dende, Santa, Piccolo in a Santa costume, he'd been good this year.

"It's very disturbing how much mistletoe is in this house."

"You just have to learn to duck and weave more." Krillin tried to control his eyes better. "I assume everyone's been a gentleman to you tonight?"

"Excepting you. Really, get up before I blind you."

The Christmas decorations could not compare to the warmth on his face. It would not blind him, oh no Juuhachigou, you're so thoughtful but there's no danger of that… "Wha—ah. Oh."

"By which I mean I'll pull your eyes from your sockets."

"I wasn't trying to do anything."

"Why not? There is mistletoe everywhere. You could make some clumsy rush at me and claim it was in the spirit of the holidays."

Krillin needed a glass of water and an hour of meditation. Perhaps climb a higher ladder and hit his head harder. But he did get to his feet. God he wished he wasn't so short.

Was she moving in closer? What was that look? Was that a glare? Why was she backing him into a corner? God he wished he wasn't so short.

"Juuhachigou?"

Why had it never occurred to him that yes, it was not pity but her own sexual wants and needs that would coincide with his? Holding his collar with one hand, the other above, resting flat on the wall. Then, and then: lip contact and Krillin couldn't breathe for the sweetest few moments. Feel only him mouth and losing muscle control. Could cling to her, physically, and Juuhachigou would never falter from that. She was so strong.

Her smile almost made up for the loss of contact. Her smile. "That was almost worth it."

Then she let him collapse into boneless heap on the fallen bulbs and wires.

"Let's chalk that one up to the holiday spirit, shall we?" She turned, all the better to display those legs. "Bye."

Krillin sat there in a blazing tangle of light. Feeling every finger and toe, and the spark of his own ki. Still hearing her footsteps. Music forever looping and wailing about the season over the sounds of his friends arguing over who had broken what in the other rooms.

It was such a magical time.

485. Not the way that you'd imagined it.

On a balcony with champagne lips.

But in a pantry against the pancake mix,

you had your New Year's kiss.

They nearly rolled into each other soon after the sun had come up and lit everything inside the house ablaze with a golden light that hid nothing.

Funny how neither needed to scream, "No! Oh god, no!"

But still did so.

For entirely different reasons.

Somehow, he was up, and falling into the fridge. Kami, it was cold. The hangover crept around, retreading back and forth as the panic set in. Horror. Fear. Curiosity.

"No, no, no."

I wanted a romantic date, not scrambling out of bed, avoiding eye contact. Uh, where are her clothes. I can't watch. I shouldn't stare. Where are my pants?

Where are your pants?

"No. Goddamnit. How?"

"Alcohol."

"I know that." She covered her face momentarily, then went to fix her hair, then zipped about grabbing clothes. God, the images Krillin saw were imbedded into his eyelids. Every time he closed his eyes, there they were. All pale and thin, skinny, delicate, a lovely façade for what was underneath, and that flat stomach he'd never thought about, muscles drawn tight as she struggled to tug her jeans on. Why had he never admired her shoulders before?

"Put some damn clothes on."

"Why?"

The worst question any human being has ever asked at any time.

"Because you're a goddamn pervert, and I'm sick of looking at you. At that."

Alcohol poisoning and shock had driven all sanity from him. "You weren't last night."

It was scary how her face could shift from angelic, human, frustrated, to that monster Trunks had warned them all of. He'd come all the way from the future to save them from this. But Krillin understood that his life had ended last night and everything after it was a gift. They both knew what they knew, and it was impossible to unlearn something. Yes, it had happened, and this was their strange distorted reality, and no glowing eyes from Juuhachigou would change that.

Neither would putting on his pants. Or any clothes for that matter. Taking care of his headache seemed more important, really. That, and her looking at him and not turning away.

Krillin stood up and looked for the coffee pot. "Want some breakfast?"

Juuhachigou apparently needed a second to process that. Tear her eyes away and formulate a response. "Huh?"

"Now who's the pervert?"

486. The First Time I Woke Up Without You

They split amicably enough, Krillin guessed. He took his stuff, avoiding her completely, and moving back to Kame House.

Just as he had when any battle was turning against him and his friends, Krillin had to take category.

He clutched the rubble of his life close for inspection. State the facts as he packed, as he put away whatever pictures he had, bury them under sweaters he wouldn't need and stumble around. Keep this shirt. Take all of it. The separation that he'd wanted to erase, between his and hers was another joke.

All of this was a joke. To everyone, and they'd all nodded and gone about their business. Claimed that she hadn't been worth his time, untrustworthy. Ignoring the basic facts, like that he would never meet anyone like her before. That, despite all the other flaws that yes, he hadn't been blind to, that had been the best he'd had. The best time in his life when he'd been the happiest. All them blind to the other facts that he recited every day.

He was twenty seven years old.

He was never going to see her again.

His first relationship was over.

And he was sure that he would never heal from this, not ever.

487. That's A Pretty Nice Haircut

There had been enough tension in the house before it happened. Before there might be the chance of resentment every time she glanced in the mirror.

Juuhachigou had yelled at Marron about her homework just long enough for her dangling hair that was just long enough to touch the red metal inside the toaster. Only after smelling the burning, and realizing that she was not making toast at the moment that it occurred to her there was something wrong. A thin line of smoke, an acrid smell…it took her a moment to realize her hair was burning. Her hair was on fire.

Marron jumped literally a foot in the air and dropped her book with a thump at the sound of her mother's scream.

Roshi dropped his magazine and jumped to the floor as though someone had run into the house with a machine gun. Again.

Oolong dropped the remote controller and remained frozen. Pretending to be dead again.

Upstairs, there was a yell followed by a thump as Krillin ran, then fell, down the stairs. He left globs of shaving cream from his face onto the floor.

"Juuhachigou! Are you okay?" Frantic, he looked at the living room, at his cowering family, both blood and otherwise.

"Is everything okay?"

Juuhachigou clutched her hair, face bone white. The ends were no longer burning, but are instead burnt, blackish instead of bright yellow. The look on the cyborg woman's face was reminiscent of when Krillin had brought her to Kame house for the first time. Master Roshi had immediately leered at her over his sunglasses, while Oolong gave Krillin a high-five on finding a girl so pretty and so desperate, before leaning over and whispering to ask her how much he'd given her to pretend to be his girlfriend.

Outrage, disbelief, and a quickening rage.

"Oh."

Krillin stared at her for a moment longer, before motioning to Master Roshi and Oolong, giving them the signal. It was not supposed to be used for this moment; originally it was planned in case Vegeta ever lost his mind, or Juunanagou finally wised up to the fact that Juuhachigou wasn't just here to spar with Krillin and realized that Marron was their daughter.

But another catastrophe had occurred, and the short man's roommates scooped the girl up and headed for the door. Their movements were not too hurried, and Krillin was proud of them and the way they soothed his daughter by telling her they were going out for ice cream. And no, mommy and daddy were fine. Her parent's loved her so very much, and always would. No matter what happened.

"Juuhachigou?"

Her eyes were red, with tears or anger, Krillin didn't know. Slowly, carefully, he took a few steps toward her. Steady, don't spook her. Hold your hands out to show that you won't hurt her. It reminded him of when he'd first kissed her.

"It's okay. It's okay."

"My hair, Krillin. My hair."

"I know."

"You don't," she snapped. Although if there was one person who could empathize with hair problems, it was Krillin. "It doesn't grow back."

Her teeth were bared. Softly, he leaned forward and held her shoulders. He examined it, taking in the length and damage. "This is okay. This can be dealt with."

There was doubt in her eyes. "It's crooked." She sounded like their daughter when she was younger and they didn't have the red Popsicle and no, no, green will not do. Krillin squeezed her shoulders. "It's okay."

Something, like sanity, came back into her face. "Hey. Did the perverts take Marron?"

"Yes." Krillin tensed. 'For her own safety' was not a good thing to say.

"Meaning, we are alone." Her expression was becoming angry. Although, it was not exactly. Passion and rage could be easily mistaken for one another on her pale face.

"Uh." He stepped back, smiling uneasily. "They could be back any second."

She descended on him. "Right now."

"Really?"

"Yes. What better time for you to trim my hair?"

Could feel his face falling. "Alright. You're going to have to give me a second though. Still."

Krillin rolled a few burnt strands between his fingers. "It's not too bad. I'll just give it a trim."

"A trim." She blew hair out of her eyes, then sighed. "I'm going to miss doing that."

A grin is erupting on his face. Reluctantly, she felt better. He had a plan, and really, Krillin happy was just a nice thing to be around. "This might be fun. How do you feel about bangs?"

"How about this. You can cut my hair, if I can cut yours."

"Alright. But then, I get to grow that mustache I've always wanted." Juuhachigou shuddered. But she relented under his wobbling lower lip and the sight of her poor blackened hair. "We'll see."

"Yes we will." He smirked, then kissed her forehead before pushing him off and running to get the good scissors.

He was back in the fifteen seconds she had to reconsider all of this. Maybe the mismatched lengths are fashionable, somewhere. They will move there, and there, she can be unashamed. But Krillin was juggling a water bottle and scissors and combs and a blow dryer and moving into the kitchen. She couldn't escape this. Instead, Juuhachigou followed him, where he'd already set up a stackable chair for her to sit on.

The scissors gleamed silver, and she glared at them in defiance. As soon as she sat down, Krillin swept an old tablecloth around her shoulders. Then spent forever adjusting it.

When it was wet, it looks like damp gold.

"I'm going to just cut off the burned ends. Alright?"

Krillin had known for a long time that he'd loved her too much. Every inch. To an unhealthy degree, about an hour after meeting her, if that. But getting worked up over her hair, over such a minor thing as a few inches of bright yellow hair, that was a little scary. Still, he fretted and worried and upset his wife just by inspecting every angle over and over again. It would be shorter, and he would love it and find himself waking up with a mouthful of it in the mornings. Still. There would be a little less of Juuhachigou in the world.

He held the hair between his fingers, trying to remember doing this for Yamcha, Bulma, Goku that time he'd attempted to make smoothies and apparently put concrete in the blender but forgot the top, Vegeta when he'd tried gum for the first time. There was a snip that made her flinch.

That made him flinch, despite himself.

Both nearly whimpering.

Krillin was surprised, moved by her closed eyes, the expanse of creamy forehead. It wouldn't fall into her eyes anymore and be shifted aside by a careful hand. Soft feathers with rough edges in his palm, and he would keep these locks. Whisper into a newly exposed ear, "Don't worry; I think you can pull off the bald look better than I did."

488. I Unwrapped Your Presents Underneath Your Feet

They kept themselves solemn and sane when taking the boys home, and returning to Kame House to check on their daughter. Make sure they were all alright. Answer questions as to why they were so bruised and why their clothes were in disarray and about the spiking power levels. "Him? Again? Glad everyone's okay."

But couldn't keep it together long enough to put bandages and anti-septic on wounds.

There was something in her little gasps. Perhaps it was some minor thanks for him having (disobeyed her? Oh, later they will slip into that and punishments) saved her and helping in whatever minor way he could. An undignified scramble and familiar grunting. Five years and still the eager greediness of seeing each other. Hair in their eyes. Still so glad it's you.

"Don't think I forgot about you and that doctor."

"Who?" Krillin asked, muffled around the shirt tangled on his head.

They eventually found the bed though by that time it was unnecessary.

489. Maybe We'll be Friends

It was probably a mistake, to agree to his truce. Why even wait, listen to the pleading of a fair fight?

It was also probably a mistake to even spend time with this man. Any time. Given how pathetically wide his eyes were, how he looked ready to begin pleading for his friend's life. Especially a disaster to sit so close, and talk to him.

But Juuhachigou had spent enough time listening to her brother explain that the slow way was the best. Funnier, too, to talk to him and watch the bloodless fearful quality of his face. Ask him exactly why they had run to the next obvious place, rather than going to a motel in a packed city and hiding out there? It would not have worked full time, but it would have at least held them off until…they finally found one of the fighters and got the location from them. Probably not this one, to his credit. Too loyal, and used to be beaten.

Still, for a man that had screamed immediately after opening the door (before slamming it and running away), he seemed to be taking this pretty well. No longer screaming, "Go away! No one's home!" Or running around like a chicken missing its head like that purple-haired stranger.

"Are you really going to kill Goku?" he asked again.

"Following your death, if you don't shut up."

Yet the little man stared at her. Pleading wordlessly for her not to do this. She could have literally slapped the eyes from their sockets, torn him to pieces before any of his friends could help him. What she had done to Vegeta had been nothing more than child's play after all, and every bone in his body could be snapped, twisted, until her own fingers were sticky with dried blood and her clothes stained.

Something trickled up her back, a shiver. When she could bear it without falling into a rage, giving in (no, she didn't want to be that empty monster, she was better than a machine to make Gero happy), Juuhachigou looked back at him.

I can change you. I could help you. Free you from another's cage.

It was something she'd never seen before.

Wanting.

Inappropriate warmth from a pathetic excuse of a man. Juuhachigou would make him see the purple-grey of his own intestines before she snapped his neck. Burn the skin from his chest, make new scars to compliment the ones of his forehead though these would be so much deeper. Break and subdue him as he wanted to do to her. When he saw her, he didn't see a robot, no, he saw only her pretty face.

For that, Juuhachigou leaned forward carefully, recalling an earlier time when she'd been so close to him. "If I put your head on a spike outside the door, will that scare away the other cowards?"

490. Like a snake within the wilted garden wall

I'd hint to her every possibility

He might not have been able to dissuade them entirely from killing Goku, but at least now they waited for him to recover. Literally waiting. Outside his house, prowling around, and it was as disorienting as Piccolo at Gohan's birthday parties or Vegeta at the barbecues in the Capsule Corp's backyard. Only they, those old enemies, had been there not to purposely destroy and murder.

One chance.

Something in the air, always fresh air here in the mountains, the glow of the sun, green grass for miles. All this life. For it, for the lives inside, Krillin had to talk to her. Goku would have tried to stop her, or die in the attempt.

Was there something in the fall of bright hair that compelled him, or had it been that kiss, so confusing even now? The glow on her skin, as she waited, pretty in a dark vest. Juuhachigou had been the one to beat up Vegeta, so badly, the one so eager to fight why the others had sat on the sidelines until the end. She had her boyfriend, Gero's programming, Juurokugou to fight against.

Perfect eyebrows rose, sending a sharp pain to his stomach. "What makes you think I'm following his orders? Or that your requests are any more valid?"

It was such a mild day. Spring, hinting towards summer. How many seasons had he experienced, how many more were there for him?

Krillin didn't know if he was trying to make a Faustian bargain, or if he was the devil, luring her away.

Only offer her another way. "You don't have to do this."

That sliver of what she was, deep down, came through when she smiled. No matter what he might want, or hope for, there would be something beneath that pale skin. A mask only, all of it. Juuhachigou had a number, not a name. "But I want to."

491. "Have you lost your mind? Ever hear of not judging a book by its cover?"

"Well, yeah, but I mean, look at those eyes."

"Just trust me, I don't have to look in his eyes."

"…I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

"You have no taste in boyfriends, Bulma, seriously."

It was at the first group gathering since the Cell Game, that he and Bulma finally saw each other again, and could lean against one another, watching their supposed/perhaps 'partners' threaten to vomit at the sight of one another.

Juuhachigou really shouldn't have said anything about the recent binge eating that was so obviously caused by grief. "How much ham have you stuffed into that maw?"

That sneering, greasy face was the only one to not have done a double-take over her presence. "What, are you jealous that there's no oil for you to consume?"

"What have we done?" Bulma's question was mostly rhetorical.

"Get away from me!"

"Why are you even here?"

"Why are you?"

Krillin patted her arm. "We've made some strange choices. No one can say that they were wrong. You know, the heart wants what the heart wants."

As though the heart had been what exactly had led them down this path, and not…other stupider parts that had taken over until yes, emotions had clouded them, tricked them into forgiveness and admiring banalities such as smiles that rare and therefore special and just for them. Locked into a cage they hadn't wanted to escape from, had not even noticed the door coming down until it was much too late. Amazing, and banal, the things you could learn to live with.

Pathetic, at least Krillin would have admitted to, how refracted, how watery, his vision became when seeing Juuhachigou. Even now, as she threatened to disembowel Vegeta.

"It's not like our friends are any better. Or our parents. Right? We had no positive influences."

"What about…Goku? He and Chi-Chi were together, and happy." Not that he didn't light up when a pale hand so much as brushed against him, at the flash of bright hair. Hard to say whether Juuhachigou felt the same, given how difficult it was to determine if she even knew they were together.

"Are you claiming that Chi-Chi and Goku were the only ones in a normal relationship?"

Both their eyes were drawn to the recently widowed, recently impregnated Chi-Chi that would still rant at the sky itself when another rush of morning sickness took over, and even now at the anniversary of Goku's passing, this wake, was still furious at him for leaving.

This time, Krillin had to ask it. "…What have we done?"

"Them? At least Juuhachigou's not pregnant. Yet. Right?"

"It's not our fault. Love isn't something you can sit down and choose to do. There's nothing rational about it."

Doomed. A thousand different lifetimes, options, chances and all with Vegeta. The same for Krillin and Juuhachigou. Except for that one where Krillin got killed by her.

"That's why it's so beautiful."

492. Oh This Love Will Kill Me, But I Don't Think I Mind

It wasn't like he didn't want to date, or that he didn't try, Dende knew.

…Oh, boy, he hoped Dende or Kami (now Piccolo) didn't know anything about his dating life.

But when you lived years training as a celibate monk, getting picked on and shaving your head and turning out way too short and living currently on an island full of underwear and porn, certain things became limited.

Yamcha had once joked about him checking out his options before settling for Juuhachigou—'you know, that scary android that beat up Trunks and Vegeta. When they were Super Saiyan. And would have killed Goku, plus you, if you got in his way.' Maybe his friend had a point about that. Look around and remember that saying about plenty of fish and never mind how it had been since you'd had a nibble.

Was it a matter of bizarre convenience?

That she knew of his life already, and had already done what so few women had ever done with that kiss? He would never have to sit down with her and explain that his best friend hadn't been exactly human or from Earth, and what was up with Bulma's partner and his hair and had that been him and his friends fighting Cell?

At least with Juuhachigou, he would never have to explain how strange his friends were. Or truly care how weird it was to play pingpong with a god. No, now he was the odd one that would follow a dismayed, confused cyborg around like a lovesick puppy. Doing whatever she said, no matter how dumb such as trying to figure out how to work the antenna on the roof in the middle of the night. There had been no lightning and thunder, but even if there had, Krillin would still find himself trying not to slip on loose shingles.

His doom complete with gifts of flowers and chocolates that she treated as though covered with small pox, maybe, given how hard she might throw them at his head or leave for her shrugging brother. Until he would find himself in the attic of her home, sorting through stranger's belongings until they were in neat piles to be gotten rid of-until he realized that this house was obviously stolen. Until he found himself going through newspapers for apartments and rental houses for the twins, and had to take a part time job at Capsule Corp to buy a new capsule house for two uncaring cyborgs that didn't appreciate him growing them a garden and making dinner while decorating their home exactly as they wanted it.

….On the other hand, he realized, trying to fit a too-large desk right into the exact corner that Juuhachigou seemed to like, just about any other woman might be easier to deal with.

493. I'd Never Know you, I Never Knew You. That's What I'm Doing. Grow Up and Embrace The Change.

It was both pathetic and shameful to see her again after all these years. This growing feeling of embarrassment, like someone had gone through his garbage.

When he looked at her, it was gazing at a picture of a distant world, a planet cold and untouchable that couldn't be seen without a device. This thing did not care about your latest mistake, your biggest success, of your discomforts and favorite color. In some ways, it was almost reassuring that she still didn't give a damn for him.

Had she returned even an ounce of the suffocating emotions, had she returned at all before now, Krillin might have weakened and sunk under from the weight of his guilt. Instead, he might be brave and even thoughtful to have spared and helped her without any pleading look afterward for something as banal as a date.

As someone that had spent years training, he should have known better. Instead, Krillin had told himself that he'd still done the right thing, and for the right reason rather than a selfish crush, and almost believe that. That's how stupid he'd been. Denial.

All of it came rushing back. Some of it, anyway. An echo. The aching tenderness and want. Desire and some discomforting fear. She could beat him to a pulp, even now. Easily, in fact. Still, Krillin remembered wanting nothing more than embracing her, loving her, every inch of that destructive form. The same part in her hair and flawless skin and pale eyes that wavered between grey and blue. Years separating them, though, a different lifetime, and who knew how different she was, to show up during another emergency to help. Probably married with a few kids.

…had her forehead always been that big?

494. If I could be over you when the sky starts falling
Would you be smothered under me?
If I could be under you if the earth was burning
Would you be crying over me?

Out of all the things he thought their marriage might go through, having to fight some pink monster that ate people was not one of them.

The ki was unlike anything. Endless and wrong, as not even Frieza's had been. At least with him, you could wrap your mind around the strength and understand that he could destroy a planet. Not even Cell had felt like this, so unsettling and familiar his ki had been. With Buu, it is alien in a way that none had been so far. This is a thing so old it is ancient, before humans had even been walking around. Evil.

Her hands in his hair, as though checking to make sure that he wasn't still made of stone.

Krillin hadn't told her exactly what had happened. But she knew him as well as anyone, and must have known something bad had happened. Hardly letting him out of her sight. Later, if there was a later, Krillin would explain everything. That he'd nearly died again, how worried he had been not just of dying, but of never seeing her and Marron again. Tell her, not just his friends, that he loved her. Later.

This hopelessness that was worse than Cell. Than meeting his wife, before she'd been anything more than an enemy. Worse than Frieza and the Saiyans.

Now he had more than the general idea of humanity to fight for. The added strange selfishness of having a family. Now he understood why Chi-Chi had forbidden Gohan from so much and why Bulma had worked so hard on the remote, the time traveling device. Weird, how Krillin could now relate to Vegeta, as surely he must have felt this. This feeling.

Simple facts: I have to protect them, my wife and kid.

"Good thing I took out the life-insurance policy, huh?"

The petting became a tug. "Always with the bad jokes, huh?"

"You're right. No insurance company would ever cover me."

Juuhachigou let him continue, though. "Maybe me, though. Didn't think about it, considering I can't age. What was the point of paying into something with no payoff at the end? Don't they have statutes of limitations?"

"Yeah, so shortsighted. Now who'll pay the mortgage? Terrible. You'll have to move in with the Sons."

"Or Bulma. Even worse. Thank Dende, I'm going to go before you."

"No way. I'll stop you."

"I'm stronger."

"Too bad. I look better heroic."

"What? Says who?"

"Have you seen me in a cape?"

"…yes."

"Cruel. Too bad I never got to see you in one. Guess between that and the lack of insurance we're both going to have to live another day."

495. If I Could Scare You First

No matter how little actual contact she'd had with humans (that could be recalled), Juuhachigou understood that look all-too-well.

So of course she had to cut him off at the pass.

"No, before you ask or act it out, you are not having a hallucination."

Let him flee her.

As it should be.

Krillin met her gaze with a remarkable amount of calm. "Are you going to run away again?"

"Shut up."

And again she almost slinked away for a momentary retreat. Almost.

"I was worried about you. When you took off that other day.

"You looked so frightened. Like you might be scared of me. But that would be crazy, wouldn't it, Juuhachigou? Me having any hold on you, any influence that might affect you? Impossible."

"…Get away from me!"

496. How Am I Supposed to Pretend I Never Want to See You Again?

Krillin had planned it, goddamnit.

When she came back, if she decided to ever show up again as she'd said, he would separate himself from her. Move away. Keep distance from her shadow, not allowing even that to touch him. Perhaps, they would become friends, after another enemy came by to destroy all of them and forced all the fighters to fall on the same side again.

Not—not this! Having to face her in less than a week after everything had fallen apart. With new clothes, looking somehow, better than ever. In a nice, large house with enough money for expanding it. What? How? Already Juuhachigou had her life in better order than him, more accomplished, a better citizen that probably actually paid taxes and was living the dream that West City promised.

While Krillin was less than attractive. Stupid. An unpleasant moron that had never felt lower than this moment. One that wasn't in clean clothes. Her servant. Hm.

Couldn't even pretend that she was a stranger.

"You're the one that ordered a pool?"

"You're here to make a pool?"

"I have orders!" The clipboard was the clumsiest shield ever.

They both blinked, and he had almost forgotten how big her eyes were. How long those eyelashes were and the curve of her cheeks and point of her chin. There was so much he could relearn and familiarize himself with, if from a safe distance. It was a chance, like the clouds parting to let the sun in. Why had he ever been annoyed at Bulma for pushing this work on him? Send her a dozen roses and another to Juuhachigou.

Well. Maybe not. But maybe he could arrange to plant a few flowers around the house. His worksite. His employer looked to be regretting this entire enterprise, but wait until she saw how much it would improve her property value.

"How long is it going to take?"

Krillin made a show of huffing and looking through his paperwork and ignoring the timetables. "Oh, couple of weeks."

497. And every time I talk to you well I can never breathe

Juuhachigou had come back. To see him. Just…like she'd said.

See you around. The sweetest words. Almost as great as her showing up at Capsule Corp. Just to see him. And not to hurt him.

Krillin was floored, to say the least. Jaw nearly reaching his chest, until he belatedly realized that he shouldn't gape at her. Or stare. Too much, as it was clearly impossible not to look at her. Admire. Take her in, or look away, to hug her, to make her smile His emotions bounced from disbelief to anxiousness to joy, around and all back.

"I'm just—it's just nice to see you again." The short ex-monk shrugged, on the bench.

She stood, still unwilling to even bend her knees. Her eyes were wary. "Let's not talk."

"Re—"

"Not a word."

He took it as he might have any lifeline thrown out while he drowned. "Alright."

But without speaking, there was nothing to do but look at each other.

Which could be so much worse.

498. I Do This For A Living

(A.N: Was I the first to think of this?)

"Are you…are you going to just leave us here? Aren't you going to finish us off? Isn't that what you machines want?"

Some growing anger on that round face that squared his jaw. Not a handsome face, but a memorable one. Black eyes, not as deadened as the other's. Something weak in this man, even goofy and off-putting. In orange and blue that she bet still smelled of smoke and spilled gasoline. Looking mean and scared like a cornered animal. No matter what Juunanagou might say to him, to almost calm him.

Juurokugou would have been a better choice, given his affinity for animals.

She could already feel the energy slipping away. That satisfaction drifting, and Juuhachigou knew she was frowning. A part wanted to find pity for those who'd died, and instead only felt sick of the bodies left behind. Even with the enemy defeated

(or was it because of that fact)

she hardly felt any better.

Here in a t-shirt and jeans, she watched the fighters stuck in sand and stone. Spared, if momentarily.

A few were supposedly alien. Which would explain that one's green skin and that one's third eye and maybe that one over there with his dumb, dumb haircut.

The small one hadn't fought. Was noseless, but otherwise looked fairly normal. A human, a traitor. The worst, no matter how rude that condescending alien had been, just because of the mingled hatred and fear. As though he didn't deserve this for trying to help take over the plant along with the rest. Part of the reasons she even was a fighter, because of beings like this. Bullies that picked on the weak.

Do you know what we do to traitors?

What we should do?

Should she kill this one left standing, would that make her feel any better? Was he any better than those murderers that had actually fought? Why should he live?

They had killed one of them. Our team versus theirs, and now someone was gone. Juukyuugou, who had been so serious, when not making blank-faced jokes. His idiot voice. She couldn't say she'd miss him too much, but still. One of their own struck down, and it was obvious how that effected the old man. The old man's lackey, but was that so different from the rest of them. This was their job, why they'd been recruited and/or created in some (most) of their cases.

A job given maybe with some pity.

One given with warning in this case. She'd barely had time to wake up properly and put on pants, no time to panic and curse her luck. And to top it off, she'd nearly slid down the goddamn mountain that her home was buried inside. Such was the life of a hero, someone might say to her livid face. Someone like Juurokugou or Juukyuugou. Her brother to smile when she couldn't. "Save it for the bad guys, Juuhachi." Then helped her up.

If only Gero had given a little bit more information- though at least he was here. As well he should be, their boss that gave the orders and was responsible for their fighting strength. If Juukyuugou had died though…but Juuhachigou grabbed that voice as roughly as she had any of these warriors. This job and these missions, given yes, with pity.

Remembering her own mother telling her to be a better woman than she'd done so many years ago, things that Juuhachigou can't forget no matter how she wanted to, like the distant father with her bright hair. The dumb clutter of youth that made her feel so ungrateful and always try to recall when she'd last told them she'd loved them before they'd died.

A spiral downward, alongside her brother. Shakes in stranger's homes and resentful and sure that she could control everything. If Gero hadn't found and saved them, who knew, even if a part of her cringed to admit it. Not as bad as these creatures, though. Her ki was rising, and she had to consciously lower it. Anger that she'd been warned about constantly, with a comforting hand on her shoulder, but at least it was a righteous anger. Rather than just being annoyed at this interruption of doing nothing with her unending life.

For so long, too, she had bucked her responsibility. Because of some dumb rebellion, and maybe others had suffered for it. If she'd taken things more seriously, maybe they could have helped even one person survive that destruction as they blasted apart the island.

At least they'd won.

The only reward was this grim fear from the unconscious fighters, and the resignation from this short man standing here, who had proclaimed he wouldn't go down without a fight.

Juuhachigou hated it when Juunanagou of all people was the voice of constraint, but something about the black eyes unsettled her. Too stubborn, cocky. Nearly as dark as their pupils, was that what discomforted her. How different they looked. Vigilantes, she and her brother and group of friends might be, but at least they hadn't nearly destroyed an entire army of helpless people. And just to prove their own strength. Because it amused them to hold the lives of others in their hands.

"It's possible they might redeem themselves." Surprising, that Gero could find some compassion given what their own friend, that Goku with the reckless grin and love of fighting, had done to him.

Why was she always the voice of reason? When had that happened, anyway? "You can't know that."

But her brother was already getting ready to turn his back on all of this. "Besides, it gets pretty boring around here. Never know when we might need some action to spice things up."

499. Maybe you were one of my wives,

In the long lost tribe.

She couldn't even begin to guess how long she had been here.

Though, Juuhachigou knew very well how she had been without Krillin. And worse, her own daughter. Marron, who had never been a fighter, and had gone onto a different place. Leaving her parents to mourn anew at another separation, no matter how Krillin whispered into her ear at such joy he felt passing through there, the safety and warmth—things that they had given their daughter when she'd been small enough to fit into the crook of your arm. Now, reborn along with so many others, and Juuhachigou fretted even while she had been the one to finally bring it up. It had hurt to lose a child, especially twice and the second in such a rupturing way. Undone.

Her own death, so long in coming, had been a relief.

At least it wasn't an eternity of oblivion, as she might have once thought. Though, she would no longer exist, this woman with straight hair who could not remember her childhood or birth name. Whoever she was now would cease. As would Krillin, the man who had grown up in a monastery and had died so many times before but never quite made this plunge.

"So, what do you think will happen?"

The green gaping uneven circle, a portal. How awful the color scheme was up here.

"Hmm? We'll be born. Maybe at the same time? I'm not sure how it works."

"And you won't, say, be reborn as a turtle or something?"

"Why do I get to be a turtle? Maybe you'll be the rabbit." The punchline. "Or maybe we'll both be bunnies."

He was smiling now, and of course Juuhachigou wandered how many times she'd kissed that mouth. If she ever would again. How long that would be, and whether the next version of her would take her too long to do so again and if she would appreciate it. Would the next one find him in a battlefield, or would they run into each other in the mall, as what happened in so many romantic comedies? Hopefully, they wouldn't end up in some universe where she murdered him—again.

Maybe they had done this all before.

"No, I think we'll both be humans. Or sentient. Something close, anyway. We won't be punished. Remember, you got waved right through. Remember, how Baba laughed because she knew you were the one that beat Vegeta up?"

After all, who was to say this wasn't their third time around. And that was why she had kissed him. Ah, the mystery was finally answered as to why she'd given into that absurd little urge. Marking him, just to make sure that neither would kill each other hopefully.

Juuhachigou had never cared or thought much about something as vague as fate.

"Will I have to grow up with Juunanagou again."

"Oh, c'mon. He's not so bad."

No, and she would miss her twin. Or not, rather.

Maybe this time, she wouldn't have any contact with Gero. Juuhachigou would be a normal girl with hopefully a better name, and she would be a college, perhaps a lawyer, maybe something as ironic as a divorce lawyer or a prosecutor, and she would run into a short that was as into martial arts as she was, and perhaps they would meet in court.

With some uneasy first meeting, but hopefully the same idiotic friends that frankly Juuhachigou couldn't imagine not having a place in her life, with her annoying twin brother, and she allowed herself to think that perhaps Juurokugou might be there as well. And they would have a daughter. Maybe in another timeline, they'd had more than one child, and that would repeat as well.

"I wonder if next time we'll meet under more normal circumstances?"

A professional life. A boarding school they would meet at, during a swim meet and a contrived study date. Competing sports teams. A whole new chance to humiliate him. Or at a grocery store he ran alongside his ridiculous-haired best friend. Shopping cart fights. The jokes they could all make concerning each other's names.

Ninjas.

Artists.

Doctors.

All of the above.

Space pirates. This time, they would be space pirates.

500. I Need A Date to the Prom, Would You Like To Come Along?

That she ended up in his room, that she would spend an undetermined amount of time in his house at all, was a horrible series of unforeseen consequences.

All the worse for having to put on his clothes.

Shirt and loose shorts, cold, hating the boniness of her knees suddenly. Wanting a long dress, no, heavy jeans. To just not be here in general and deal with this bullshit. Others would find out, somehow, even if Krillin never told someone. This town was too small; they would sense her here and someone with no life would spread the gossip around. No matter her reasons, she was here, in his room and there were always implications even if she'd gone here to sell him newspapers.

Intimate. His stupid bed with clean sheets. What teenager kept a room this neat? Couldn't be normal. It made her own room look like the pigsty it was. Books all neatly stacked and did he dust, could that be an empty wastebasket? This was a room she inhabited right now. Breathing in the same vicinity that he'd lived and did such horrible things to himself right over there in that bed, surely. Shared the same shower, if not at the same time.

But still.

This was because she didn't beat him periodically enough. Shown the puppy too much mercy, a few pats to the head when, coincidentally, no one was around. All it took.

Feeling unsettled, embarrassed, and wishing she at least didn't have a towel on her head, wishing she had dry underwear on but no way would she be taking that off even if no one had been home.

Juuhachigou had expected better from tonight. Throwing rocks through windows. General vandalism before they could be charged as adults. Even huffing paint in some crack house would have been better than getting wrapped in a towel, shivering, by someone she alternatively despised or could not care any less about.

At least she hadn't been mangled from a crushed car. Or been caught by the cops. Or was with her twin, and having to listen to him as he started another fight and forced her to flee the scene and leave him behind.

Or drowned, struggling to find the surface under the heavy tarp overhead that she had clung to as she sunk.

But no, she had lived, had been saved.

Krillin was knocking at the door. His door. Like the son-of-a-bitch could sense when she thought about him. "Your clothes are almost done."

"Finally."

"With the rinse cycle anyway. They still have to go through the dryer though. It shouldn't be more than, say, an hour maybe."

Juuhachigou stared at her locker. The combination and number jotted on an index card. The coffee stain on the corner was par for the course. Long in coming, and she had known that. The only surprise was that it had taken this long until now, they'd finally gotten tired of her being next to her brother's lockers.

The cords they'd run through the metal to hack into the phone lines had probably been the last draw.

She adjusted her backpack, and looked down at the card. It didn't change. She retied her shoes, and then took a sip off the water fountain. She dawdled, staring up at the numbers on the lockers.

The blonde girl knew exactly where her new locker was.

Those bastards in the office probably knew too. There were no coincidences in her life, only malicious pranks from someone, or disinterest. So she went further left down the hall, playing with the strap on her backpack and hoping that class would last another few more minutes. Once again, she'd forgotten her watch on her dresser back home.

When she saw exactly where she'd be placed, and who was next to her, she knew for a certainty that this was someone out to hurt her. On one sides, the moron who she'd beaten up on the first day of school and hated her (mutual), and the other the short, whiny one who she'd kissed on the first day of school and had a crush on her (not mutual). A rock and a hard place had never been more accurate.

Juuhachigou wondered briefly which was which, before shuddering. The bell rang.

Immediately, a door to her left opened, and kids began hurrying out. Remedial math, and she had a feeling who was there.

As always, his white button-up shirt was a little too tight and his red tie was askew. He'd forgotten his belt, and his blue shoes were scuffed. But he was smiling, and was always friendly to everyone. Even Juuhachigou and her brothers, who'd, had an uneasy alliance with him and his friends. "Hey, Juuhachi! How are you?"

She cringed a little. "Alright, Goku."

For all their mocking of Goku, he was the only one with a steady girlfriend. The only one that could really talk to girls, even if he just would talk to them instead of flirting. Of course, he'd gotten her pregnant and now had to work at the Burrito Piccolo to pay for diapers, so maybe they were right about the extra chromosomes.

"What are you doing here?"

"New locker." She pointed to them, and kids are them swarmed and passed. From out of nowhere, his teenage bride popped up. Juuhachigou hadn't been there for the wedding, but everyone had seen her proposal at the middle-school graduation. There was even a copy of the video online, at somewhere like a quarter million hits.

"Goku," the black-haired girl grabbed his arm and yanked on it painfully. Juuhachigou hadn't seen much of the bloom on the rose, but she did witness as it was torn off and stamped on. "Come on, let's get to lunch. And did you buy the tickets?"

Immediately, the two girls knew the answer instinctively. "What tickets, Chi-Chi?"

"For the prom!"

"Oh. Yeah." He rubbed the back of his head, and Juuhachigou watched him being dragged away by someone half his size, and twice his ferociousness.

When she turned back around to the lockers, she was met with a pair of dewy eyes. She also knew about a more cynical, cold-heated Krillin who hadn't cared much for Goku. Now though, she was met with a man who could only be described as a goofy romantic who would take a bullet for the larger boy. As usual, he was staring at her slightly taken back and slightly dazed by her presence.

His plain red tie was missing, probably thrown on a roof somewhere by the bullies that prowled the school. Her brother in particular loved giving the short boy wedgies. Juuhachigou's fault, since she sicced her little brother Juunanagou on the annoying twerp who rode the same bus as her and kept offering to carry her books for her, like they were some old-fashioned couple from a movie made fifty years ago. Pushing him into the mud and knocking his things into the dust before punching him in the face didn't work when she did it herself.

But then, it didn't work when Juunanagou did it either. He was a persistent little bastard; the blonde girl had to give him. Moody and a little weird too. Probably a future serial killer in the making. Just to be certain, or maybe it was an investment to sell online when he finally went on a killing spree, she kept all the poems he made for her, from middle school on.

They also got more creative, and better as the years continue on, Juuhachigou had to admit as well. More 'shall I compare thee to a winter's day…' and less 'roses are red, violets are blue.' He rhymed less too. Free verse. Would go on about others things besides her, insulting things about his awful friends.

Of course, even if Krillin sprouted up a foot and grew a nose, she wasn't interested.

Sometimes, though, she was tempted, say, to just date some borderline retarded jock to just get all that out of the way. Someone so stupid they would not question whatever she wanted. Then no one would bother her to ask her out, either because they would know she was already taken, or out of fear of what her boyfriend would do. They wouldn't whisper crude things about her, or constantly remind her of that goofy bastard that stared at her all the time.

Krillin could enter into the equation.

In some way. Imperfectly. There was too much off-putting about him to mistake a relationship as anything not sincere. No one else would put up with it if they didn't like him.

Although, to be fair, both her brother and foster father hated him and his friends, and this would be a good way to twist a knife. Her rebellion would consist of bringing home a smiling, polite and well-mannered boy her own age. It would drive her family, all her cousins and aunts and uncles insane. The very short-haired boy would offer to clean the dishes, and the entire room would clutch their hearts and ask Juuhachigou what she'd been thinking. Did she hate her family this much? He didn't even have an earring.

Almost worth actually taking him up on his oblique comments when he'd actually worked up enough courage to speak to her. It would solve some problems. And Krillin had grown a few inches over the years. Still a disgrace specimen, but not as much as earlier. And he did hold her books for her, and take a bunch of crap from her on a daily basis. Spineless and so easily crumbled under foot. A nothing thing to preoccupy herself after school and let her cross off 'a boyfriend' on the list.

There had been a girlfriend in the past, so he wasn't completely new to dating and completely unwanted by woman. Sure, the woman was a moron, but she was considered attractive by most of the male body here, and chose him briefly.

In a way, it would be like bending to pick up a penny and finding out if was made of gold rather than copper.

On the other hand, here he was, and Juuhachigou understood anew why she could never stand him. Just look at him. Pathetic. Flushing because she was looking him over. Ready to declare his undying love. No. Never.

So she shoved him against the lockers, pressing herself into him, and hearing people around them laugh and whisper and wolf-whistle. The short boy looked terrified. No, no, this wasn't going to work. None of it.

Juuhachigou whispered closely into his round, jutting ears. "If you slip one more poem into my locket, I will make a bonfire of them on your front lawn."

"Does that mean you kept them?"

Words couldn't be used as a weapon for someone like him. Better to punch him in the stomach and quickly walk away while he gasped for air. Pretend that he'd just laid there until the bell rung, and totally hadn't dragged himself up and slipped something into her locker.

Following Juuhachigou had been one of his more harebrained schemes to make her like him more. Or, at least, that's what he thought he might be doing. Thoughts and ideas tended not to come too easy when he was around her. Frantic instinct that drove him to raise his hand and throw out some glib answer for a laugh. The way his neck would tense, and then ache from the strain of not looking at her reaction, but always hearing her little snort of disdain.

From the beginning, she had nothing but apathy for him. But now, due to his efforts and struggles, Juuhachigou definitely hated him outright.

At least to his face. There was the matter of his attempts that would result in vicious blows to the body, but that was then. This was now, a new day, and the knowledge that she kept his poems and random scrambles on the day's events, did she think Vegeta had been particularly horrible today, in his tennis whites and was Chi-Chi really that big a pervert?

Why he'd decided to walk behind her was a dumb mystery. The smart thing would have been to keep his distance and gone to his next class. He was damp from the after-gym shower, with his shirt clinging to his back, following a girl out the front doors that weren't even locked. Stalker behavior, yes. Krillin tried to keep his face expressionless rather than…whatever it was now.

A stupid thought following him as he continued down the halls: I can be cool. Chilly even. I should have brought a jacket.

Juuhachigou did a double take as soon as her feet hit the sidewalk. "What are you—were you following me?"

There was no reason otherwise to have left school.

And considering math class was next, and how bad he was at algebra, maybe it would have been better to have stayed. Especially the way Juuhachigou was looking at him, like he was definitely a creeper.

Ever since that awful, wonderful day in chemistry class, when Vegeta had thrown that breaker of low-grade acid onto her. Bulma had been his lab partner that day, to her endless complaining, and had never let his reaction down. 'You just kept staring at her. It wasn't like she was naked or anything. She didn't even have to undress much. Just a shirt, and you're drooling over her. She was still wearing that tank top and her bra, even.'

But the tank top had been white and thin, and her bra black and silk, and Krillin could not have torn his gaze away from her. Even after she realized he was staring, and almost literally kicked his ass. Missing it to knock away his chair, and the fall nearly broke his neck. Then he could only stare up at her, at her furious expression and practically heaving chest, and then he really did deserve that kick to the face before the teacher broke it up.

No one had really stopped teasing them since. Asking him if he'd paid Vegeta to nearly kill her for an excuse to see her undressed. Asking her how she felt to half-naked in front of Krillin, and how much she'd enjoyed it, and when the wedding date. And every time, she would scare the perpetrator away (usually Bulma) and then hurt Krillin in some way. Usually by smashing his head into a locker or slamming the locker door shut on his fingers, or pushing his books out of his hands or slipping something unpleasant into his backpack or insulting a certain quality he possessed that she apparently despised or ripping his shirt or throwing something at him as ran all over the field.

All of it was deserved. And his fault. And a little of Vegeta's.

"I wanted to talk to you."

She shifted her backpack, increasingly annoyed. "So talk."

But the only thing Krillin could think about was her standing there after having to rip off her shirt to avoid being horrible burned. What she might be wearing under this current t-shirt. If she had any idea what she'd done to him since that day.

Like the hours spent dedicated to thinking about her. Every time they crossed paths, the bottom of his stomach dropped out. That now he noticed the miniscule white lightning in her eyes radiating out from the pupil. The question of whether or not he was in love with her, and the irrelevancy of it because he didn't want to love her, couldn't not love her.

"Uh. Where are you going?"

"Away from school. From you."

She turned away, leaving him only to stare.

From the back alone, was she an adult or a teenager?

Puberty had already made it horrifying and unfortunate visit years ago, before he'd even met Juuhachigou. But it seemed now he was fourteen again, with his cracking voice and being too conscious of how much he could sweat and how tall he wasn't and of body hair and how very, very much he liked girls.

But Juuhachigou had never really gone through an awkward phase. Braces or not. One second she hadn't been very tall, then she was towering over him (just like Goku had) and mocking him and probably smoking in the bleachers with her long legs in some pair of flat sneakers or boots.

Now he was following her home like a new pet.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Lots." His voice was so sickly that it even disgusted himself.

"Are you really going to do this? Is this how you think a relationship is started?"

"Does that mean you want to have a relationship with me?"

Juuhachigou was going to break his face. Leave him bleeding on this corner. Then find a car and back over him. That's what that meant look. Though he couldn't explain why she looked around suddenly, as though for witnesses when before she'd never been afraid of hurting him in public. "You take these."

Yes, she might have even kept those poems and writings. Might have even enjoyed them. His daily newsletters were not tossed in the trash after all.

There was no way to ask to hold her hand, but her books were good enough.

A start, he liked to believe.

Even when she took them back long before they reached her house and told him to get lost, she was sick of him drooling on her textbooks.

Juuhachigou in his house. In his bedroom. Undressed.

He all but gave himself a high-five.

No would believe this. Even platonically. Which it was. He was giddy, enough to twirl around and be so glad again that she couldn't see him.

Had to wipe this grin off, before she did for him.

Juuhachigou had nearly drowned, after all. Though he'd been there to save her. He'd actually saved someone.

It was still better than he could have ever expected his prom to go.

Yes, of course he'd wanted a horse-drawn carriage and roses and for there to be whisking into arms, but Juuhachigou just wouldn't go for arranging any of that. No getting pinned down in a limousine and stumbling to second base. At least he hadn't shelled out any money for a rented tux that would be ruined when someone spilled food on it.

Everyone else was gone, to spend time in crowded gym, and he was so glad that he wasn't there. For bad punch that wasn't even spiked, probably, depending on his merciful Bulma was feeling. Could see it now. Lame red hearts on the walls and bad music playing for people to never dance to, no way. Already self-conscious teenagers getting bored and wanting blood. Gone stag, yeah man, duh.

Why spend more time in the gym?

And if they were there, talking without shame, there would be no ten-second pause of silence when their eyes met. World whisked away under dim light. The audience would not do what they'd learned from countless movies and TV shows by erupting into cheers and applause.

Had even handled her wet clothes. He'd probably gotten more than lots of his peers.

Was there wine somewhere in this house? Candles, besides the ones by the bath that he should have hidden along with the bubble bath solution? Soda? Hot cocoa. Innocent. But warm. Just like him. Relatively speaking. Schnapps anywhere? Maybe change his own clothes, or was that too obvious, could he sneak upstairs for a dry shirt? Undress and lay there for her on this couch—no way. At the least, he hadn't gone over this thing with the vacuum in forever. Things might wedge—no. Don't turn down the lights. But keep the TV on low and turn it to the news, to look smart. Textbooks open? Like a nerd? No way. Just leave them there. In case she wanted to study with him, yeah, they could just jump ahead in their biology work, get cracking on anatomy studies, yes he had his GPA to worry about after all.

Remind her of his scores on the field and how that could translate. Take off his shirt. Fuck, why did it have to be so cold? Leave his jersey hanging around, girls like that, didn't they? Football helmet hung right there.

Was she taking her time on purpose? Was she going to just sit up there until her clothes were dry? Would she wear them home or take his clothes with her, to keep until college when she was packing up and tossing away things she no longer wanted. His shirt, pants another thing to discard, and Krillin felt all the smaller. Where would she be in a year? Where would he be?

She stomped downstairs, looking at the walls, making little comments in her head that were nearly audible. He really wished there were fewer pictures everywhere. Especially ones of him face down in the sand, in various t-shirts of varying stupidity or shirtless and at the seaside, sunburned.

Juuhachigou, in his clothes. "Are my clothes dry yet?"

This was so much better than anything at the prom.

"Another twenty minutes, maybe?"

She sat on the couch and all was right in the world. No matter if she was looking at him or not. Three feet separating them.

"You really cause about the economy of South City?"

"Domino effect. Very important for our local GDP."

No one could more scathing than her. "I want to make something clear. This was an accident. Even finding your house was a mistake. No, Krillin. No to whatever you might be thinking. We are not going to be making out. Or anything else you've imagined. Never."

"Want some cocoa?"

She just stared at him, hair mussed in a way that was purely sensual.

"C'mon. You make it sound like I was planning on waiting down here, naked. Like I was going to jump you and ask if you wanted an in depth study into anatomy. God, Juuhachigou."

"What, like I imagined all this? Your crush was only in my head? What about the notes you insist on giving me?"

He poured milk into a mug, half-way. "Did you even read them? I was kidding like, three quarters of the time. At least. Mostly it was just talking about how much I disliked our peers."

"Yeah, you have some real anger issues you should deal with."

"Like you can talk."

"Anything stronger than hot chocolate."

"Yes, but you can't have any. You and alcohol seems like a dangerous combination. The cops are probably getting sick of coming here."

Juuhachigou let it drop. Turned with a sniff back to the TV screen.

How many times had he studied the back of her head? "What were you doing out there anyway?"

"Running. Just…running. For a jog."

"Who were you running from? Are the cops really going to come here?"

"So long as you don't do anything hasty like dial 911, we'll be fine."

Krillin had a sudden vivid picture, an image, of the house caught under the glow of police lights and yellow tape, do not cross. Snapshots of his broken body. No one to clean up the blood, it would grow tacky and stain the floor until it was no longer visible to Goku and Roshi and Oolong, the slobs. Detectives with cigars eyeing his lifeless body. Who could have done this tragic thing?

But she had left so much DNA evidence upstairs. Loose hairs.

They would catch her. Justice would prevail.

"Here. I even put a marshmallow in it. Goku likes to dunk Quacks in it, but we'll start you off with this one."

"But who knows where the night will lead."

"Exactly."

"Not into my pants."

"No. No? Of course not."

When she stopped with the huffing, Juuhachigou asked, "Why are you here?"

"This is my house."

"Why are you here and not with the others at that dance thing?"

"The dance thing? The prom, you mean. The happiest night of our life?"

"God forbid."

"I know right." Krillin found another mug for himself. "But I didn't want to show up alone, again."

"Goku was busy?"

"Hilarious. Why weren't you there? Too cool for even that showing of school spirit?"

"How is getting groped by a football player in the gym school spirit, exactly?"

"We'll never know, now, will we? Funny though, using 'football player' as an example of whom you're making out with."

"As though you've even know how."

Did that mean she did? Was she regularly pinned down in limousines? Sometimes, she hung around the stranger people, and that made Krillin worry about her. Until his mind cleared and he knew that she could more than handle herself, and really, if anything, she was the one doing the pinning, and that was a more interesting topic than how many people she knew had earrings.

And Krillin had kissed girls. One girl. They had gone slow, admittedly.

…did Juuhachigou just hint that she could teach him how to make out?

"No. I wasn't hinting that I wanted to teach you how to kiss. God, you're predictable."

"Still. It's a long ten minutes until your stuffs dry. Might get bored…okay, I'll stop. Surprising that you weren't asked to the prom?"

"Are you kidding? Like I'd go either way. And if anyone asked, I'd refuse."

"Just. Justify the rejection, Juuhachigou. That'll make it go away."

She could pinch so hard.

Krillin tried to fight her off. "I'm just saying! We're both losers tonight. Losers at love."

"Is that what you think? You know I don't care about any of that crap. Have you seen the boys at that school? Rather date a leaper."

"Maybe the boys are pretty awful, but the girls make up for it in the attractiveness department."

"No, they don't." Juuhachigou deadpanned. "You've just never seen them in less than flattering lights. Like Bulma after a bender when she's puking in the showers."

"Bet she looks pretty then too. Just needs some mascara. What?"

She just shook her head. "You're such a moron. Immature. No wonder you've never been alone with a female."

"With one right now. And hey, she's not wearing her clothes. Ouch. Ow. Stop. I can't even joke about that, can I?"

In a year, she'd be gone. School or jail after she snapped and took up a sniper rifle for that mass murder no one that knew her would call a surprise. Marriage, maybe, in another few more years. Kids of her own. God. How quickly time could pass.

Five more minutes maybe, with her before she got her things and left. Leaving Krillin alone with his thoughts on this prom night, alone with nothing but his thoughts.

"I'm glad we can talk."

"We'll have to see each other more now."

"Hm?"

"Since our lockers will be right by each other."

"Only until graduation." Already pulling away, though she blinked at his stare.

"Any chance there's actually food here, or did Goku eat it all?"

"Maybe just be ice cream. Or we could order takeout? If I do, will you tell me what you were fleeing from?"

"Ice cream then." Was that maybe a smile on Juuhachigou's face? "It's not important. Don't answer the door if it's my brother."

"Will do. Whipped cream?"

"Sure. Why not? There's not enough sugar in ice cream anyway, why not add that?"

"Who said anything about putting it on your ice cream?"

"You're disgusting. Where are the spoons?"

He heard her before he saw her.

The tumble over the fence. Painful. Out of a dream and into reality. Like the Gods had answered his prayers. Karma. Grumbling, threatening, cursing. Her looking over her shoulders, not even noticing him, on the run from something, it really was like something out of a dream. And she needed his help, oh, no, she needed to stop-

Before he could say her name, warn her, do anything but look up and feel a smile spreading then dying across his mug, she fell through the pool cover and disappeared with a splash.