The Hogwarts express continues to chug away from the safety of London. There is no way of turning back now. Hermione's life has restarted, and the pause button is out of sight.
"So you're back?" Malfoy asks after her tears subside. His skepticism-filled voice looms over her.
"Yes," she says.
"And you're better now?" He continues his interrogation.
"I've gained a significant amount of weight."
"That doesn't mean you're recovered," Malfoy scoffs, "It means you're physically stable."
She gives him a frosty glare.
"Sorry," Malfoy says, although the word is clearly meaningless on his tongue. He knows exactly what he's saying, and there is not a twinge of regret or caution on his face. "If I'm crossing some border, but you remind me of Pansy. Of how sure she was about her recovery during 5th year, but she wasn't really. She'd gained weight, but she wasn't better emotionally, and it was a matter of weeks after being released from St. Mungo's that she fell into the same old trap."
"What are you talking about?" Hermione is confused. "Pansy went to St. Mungo's?"
"She never told you about that?"
"No, she never mentioned anything."
"Pansy was anorexic for a long time," Malfoy says with twinge of remorse in his voice, "It's hard to say when it all started. Maybe before she even came to Hogwarts. Who knows exactly? But she'd been skinny as long as I remember. But it wasn't until 4th year that I realized that something was really off about her, you know? We'd go days without seeing her at the dining hall, and she had this weird obsession with weight. She'd always been one to skip meals and try out the newest diets, but by that point we were all old enough to realize it wasn't exactly normal. Still I figured it was a phase or something. By the time fifth year rolled around, there was no doubt that Pansy had an eating disorder. I never saw her eat that year, not once. But I was too afraid to say something, everyone was. We all expected someone else to take care of it. Of course, no one did, and we all ended up realizing how stupid we'd been when we got to see her faint in the Slytherin common room.
"She got sent off to St. Mungo's then, and she returned a month later. She'd gained weight, and everyone assumed she was better, that she was fixed. But she wasn't really. Within weeks she'd returned to old habits, she was just a little more secretive about them. Sixth year, it was obvious what she was doing. Nobody could deny it, same with the year of the Wizarding War. But we were all too busy with Voldemort's return to pay attention. Especially me, I didn't even try to help. This year we returned, and there was no trying to pretend things were alright. There were no excuses. And, well, you know the rest."
"I'm sorry," Hermione said, "I didn't realize."
She shut her eyes. She'd known girls in the clinic who spent half their lives in and out of the hospital, never fully recovering. But the idea of that seemed so distant, so impossible. She'd been sure it wouldn't happen to her, but if Pansy had fallen to relapse, why won't she? And what scares her most is that Pansy had died. Will that be her same fate?
After a moment of silence the previous occupants come to the door with confused trances. They open the doors only to hear Malfoy give them directions to go elsewhere. "We'll be needing this cabin for a while."
"But where are we to go?"
"Somewhere else," Malfoy says, with a desolate stare. They're far too intimidated and petrified by his ex-death eater status to stay around or argue. They scatter as soon as they find their trunks, leaving Malfoy to chuckle softly to himself. "2nd years," he shakes his head.
"You called me, Hermione," she says suddenly, an epiphany. It may be completely random, and out of the blue. But she needs something elses to talk about other than Pansy. Another mention of her name, her illness or her death will give Hermione a panic attack. "In the hall, when I bumped into you; you called me by my first name."
"I did," Malfoy nods his head, "After all, we were on first-name basis for a while last semester."
"Right…"
"And just because Pansy's… well just because she's gone doesn't mean we can't still be cordial."
"Of course not," there are a few more minutes of silence. Of course, he had to bring her up again. "So, I should call you Draco from now on?"
"If you want to."
"I do," She assures him, "And thank you, Draco, for helping me out. I really am an emotional mess."
Just then she sees Ron fix his face to the glass partition between the hall and the cabin. His eyes are practically bulging, and his lips are morphed into a clear frown. He is obviously not happy with the situation. As he opens the glass door, Hermione waits with dread for the lecture that will inevitably take place.
He steps in and begins to move his mouth. But Hermione can't put together his words. As he prattles on, all she can think about is how he shouldn't be lecturing her after he just got into a brawl. And, to think, that he's supposed to be head boy! She's so tired of his lectures, his worn-out comforting, and the way he's not at all like the boy she used to love and adore. Lately it's more like he's the doctor and she's the patient. Like he's the parent and she's the child. And Hermione really is sick of it. She's better, and she doesn't need him telling her what to do.
And then three words pop out of her mouth, "Go away, Ron!"
The bitter resentment is not lost on Ron and Malfoy. Their shocked mouths fall open. Ron sputters some words out, but she refuses to listen. She'll ignore him, just like he ignored her during his rendezvous with insults moments earlier. "You hurt my feelings Ron," she says bluntly. Her healer had said that holding things in was bad for her. "And frankly, I don't want to see you right now."
"Right, because you'd rather be with Malfoy!"
"Yes, I would. After all, he just saved mefrom having a nervous breakdown after you and Harry couldn't control yourselves!"
"Hermione, stop being ridiculous," Ron says. "It's Malfoy!"
At this point it's Draco Malfoy's turn to show his disdain to the red-headed boy. "And what exactly does that mean, Weasley?"
"It means you're a ferret-humping death eater. And your pure-blood elitist attitude isn't the best thing for Hermione to be around."
"Ron! Stop trying to pick a fight with everybody!" Hermione stands up from her sitting position, "I know I'm frustrating to be around, but, if you can't control your mouth, then I think I'd be better off staying away from you until you cool down."
"And who'll make sure you don't go off the deep end?" Ron asks, sarcasm in his voice, "Clearly, Harry's incapable."
Before she can insert her objections of not needing a babysitter, Draco begins to volunteer himself. "I will."
Ron looks at her, curious of the response. He's doubtful that she'll agree. After all it is Malfoy. But Hermione smiles at his distraught, And Malfoy is perfectly capable. She notices his shudder, her actions seem unwarranted to him. Her genuine agreement to such an affair- was close to an atrocity.
"Hermione?" He asks for some sort of clarification.
"Malfoy will."
"But…"
"You're not my parent, Ron." She says calmly, "You're not the boss of me. And I know I've made some bad decisions lately, but I'm not incapable."
"You're being ridiculous Hermione!" Ron grits his teeth, "Obviously, you need to go back to St. Mungo's. This has to be some sort of relapse. It's Malfoy, after all."
"Bye Ron!" Hermione lets off enough force that he doesn't dare argue with her. He only leaves, sputtering out mumbles of words that she'd most likely find insulting if she could comprehend them.
Malfoy gives her a quirked eyebrow. "Trouble in paradise," he asks.
She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. Is it worth a response? "Never was paradise. It never can be. Not with Ron. Not with my luck."
Malfoy smiles. Hermione smiles back, and neither are sure why.
A/N: Hey guys! So… I'm super-duper sorry about posting this so late. I just am very, very busy, and I didn't really know what to write about. But I have a great plan now, just as long as I can find time to write it. Also… Don't worry this will end up to be a Ron/Hermione romance, but you must be patient. There has to be some conflict after all…. Sorry if Malfoy /Hermione makes you gag. And next is the feast… so that will be very interesting for Hermione . Anyways, hope you enjoy.