Emotions

Disclaimer: Don't own anything

1 WEEK

Jacob eventually returned my truck. I couldn't even talk to him. All he said to me was, "I'm so sorry" and left. But the worst thing, was Charlie's Funeral. Looking at Charlie's pale face…so...dead. Almost everyone from Forks was there. Everyone, including my mom, Renee, all the people from the police station, Edward…I couldn't even look at Edward.

2 WEEKS

It's like my whole body shut down. Going home each day and having to face the emptiness of the house, going to school to face all the awkward moments, these last weeks have been the worst weeks of my life.

1 MONTH

"That's it! I cant take it anymore!"

It was halfway through lunch, and Edward was standing at the side of my table looking at me while I silently ate my sandwich beside Angela. I could pick out the bits and pieces that were concern in his voice, but I was too spaced out to notice. The whole lunch room was now looking at us, but that didn't seem to bother him.

"Every time I try to talk to you, you tell me to go away and leave you alone. I know, Charlie's gone, but you've become lifeless Bella. I can't even talk to you without making myself look like an idiot and trying to find the right words to say. Bella, I care about you,-" I heard some girls gasp in the background "I really do! But you're not making this any easier for me."

I just looked at him shocked. I bet the whole student body was as well.

"I-I don't know what to say…" I stuttered.

I put my sandwich down on the table and sighed. His face grew calm, and he sighed too. He looked at me with those emerald green eyes, all signs of anger vanished.

"I'm sorry, lets walk outside for a second."

He led me outside the door, and I could feel more than 100 pairs of eyes on my back. It gave me the creeps. The sky was a cloudy grey color, and it was really, really cold. All I was wearing was a short t-shirt, and light blue jeans. I shivered, and Edward put his arm around my shoulders. It felt so awkward now, and I blushed.

"You know, that's the first emotion I've seen you feel since…almost over a month now"

"Ha-ha, very funny."

"And she's got her sense of humor back too! What a miracle!"

I rolled my eyes at him and we continued walking through the parking lot. He led me to a bench that was outside of school boundaries, away from everyone else, and covered in a thin layer of frost. I wondered how it could be so ridiculously cold in October. He sat down, waiting for me to sit down beside him. The frost didn't seem to bother him either.

"Um, it might not make any difference to you, but I'm wearing light blue jeans and I don't want it to look like I peed myself."

He looked at the seat beside him and laughed. God I missed his laugh so much. He then stretched out his arms for me.

"Edward, what are you doing?"

"Well, one, I am providing a seat for you so it doesn't look like you peed yourself, two, I would be keeping you warm- actually…"

He took of his white sweater and handed it to me . I took it, hesitating for a little bit. I then took it, put it on, and smiled to myself. His sweater was so warm, and it smelled just like Edward. I almost forgot that I was cold. Edward was smiling and he continued.

"So back to what I was saying, number three, I was taking you out here to also confess something."

His arms were still reached out, and I decided to take his offer. I sat on his lap, and he brought me close to his body. My head leaned onto his chest, and instead of feeling awkward, I felt…relieved.

"I just got the weirdest feeling of Déjà vu." He looked at me and smiled a warm smile.

"Tell me something I don't already know." I smiled and looked away into the distance. When I looked back, he was looking at me, face completely serious.

"Bella, I really care about you, and I don't think I've ever felt this way with anyone. I don't want you going through Charlie's death all alone. It breaks my heart to see you sad. I want to be here to help you. I want to be here to support you. I want to be here, like how we are now actually."

He chuckled, and hugged me closer if that was possible. He continued,

"But mostly, I want you…to want me."

I looked up at him, and his face was just there, inches away from mine. I couldn't breath. His emerald green eyes held mine as he leaned in. I closed my eyes-

BBBRRRIIIINNNGGG!!!

The bell scared us both, and I slipped off Edwards lap onto the cold sidewalk. We looked at each other, me a level below him, and we both burst out laughing. I really don't know why, but it seemed funny at the time. We went our separate ways, and I patiently waited until English class to see him today.

English class came, and Edward sat fluidly in front of me. The whole period, he didn't turn around once. What's happening? Didn't he just say he didn't want me alone? What is he doing now? My mind was quickly filling up with questions and theories of why he wasn't talking to me. Each theory more worst than the last. Oh my gosh, is it because he is embarrassed? Is he taking second thoughts about me? Does he regret ever trying to kiss me?? I was slowly losing my mind in that class.

At the end of the day, Edward walked out of the class, not saying goodbye or even turning around. I drove my truck home while battling with my mind. When I got home, I opened the door and a wave of sadness crashed onto me. I saw Charlie's jacket, Charlie's gun, Charlie's boots... I ran up the stairs and threw my bag into my room, not in the mood to do homework. I went back downstairs and quickly made a sandwich for my dinner. I walked to the couch, and turned on the T.V. since there was nothing else to do. Five hours of sitting on my legs and watching a show for the second time, I heard a noise upstairs.

"Oh my god!" I almost yelled.

I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. I highly doubted I would use it, but maybe it would scare away whatever, or whoever, was upstairs. I slowly walked up the stairs and peeked in Charlie's room. I turned on the lights, jumped in and waved around the knife with eyes shut tight, but no one there. I heard more noises, and realized with complete horror, they were coming from my room. I gripped the knife harder, and slowly walked to my door. There was another noise, and it sounded like someone was having a hard time doing something. I took in a deep breath, and kicked the door open with all the power I could muster up. The light of my room blinded me for a second, then it all became clear. I screamed in horror and delight.

There was Edward, balancing on a tree branch outside my window, trying to open up my window with no success. He saw me, and a look of relief swept across his face. His voice was muted a little from the window in front of him.

"Bella! I could use a little help here!"

I ran to the window and unlocked the bottom hook. The window flew open, and Edward fell inside.

"Ow…" he whispered as he rubbed his elbow.

"Edward, why on earth were you trying to come into my room through my window?" I asked him. I raised my eyebrow, and he just smiled.

"Well, I though I might come over and have a little sleep over. I mean, you're all alone and stuff…I thought I might give you a little company!"

"Do you know what the use of a door is Edward?" I looked at him disbelievingly.

"Yes I do, but I thought I would surprise you."

"By almost scaring me half to death?" He looked at the knife in my hand and laughed.

"Now THAT wasn't suppose to happen." He got off the ground and sat on the corner on my bed while slowly examining my room.

"So this is where you've been sleeping for a month all by you lonesome self?"

"Pretty much." I was feeling much happier, now knowing that Edward was in my room and it wasn't some random guy who was trying to climb through my window.

I walked to the door that was left open from me kicking it earlier, and pointed down the stairs with the knife.

"Sorry, but this house wasn't really made for 2 people plus more. So either you sleep in Charlie's bed, or it's the couch for you!"

I was feeling giddy just from what Edward did to try and see me. I walked back to the bed, put the knife on the desk, and got inside the covers. Edward was still sitting on the side of my bed, and he smirked.

"What's so funny?" I demanded.

"Well, I don't want to sleep in a bed that belonged to someone who…well…has passed away. And I don't want to be down there all by my lonesome self… Maybe I could join you here?"

I looked at him angry, flattered, and confused all at the same time. I don't know how, but I managed to do it. I looked into his eyes to see whether he was kidding or not, but only got more confused. His smirk made me think he was kidding, but his eyes were serious.

"You may not!" I shouted

"Well then I guess I'm just going to have to invite myself in wont I?

He stood up and tried to pull the blanket off me. I tried to cover myself, not thinking that it was awkward, but just that it was really cold. He finally threw the blanket off me, and I gasped from the coldness. He saw this, and immediately put the blanket back on me- only with him underneath it too. I tried to push him off the bed, not in a rude way, but in a I'm-annoyed-at-you-and-I-want-you-to-get-off-my-bed way

"What the hell do you think your doing?!" I yelled.

I tried to sound mad, but I smiled and ruined everything. I tried to push him off the bed, but he fidgeted so his knees were on either side on my legs, and he was on top of me, careful not to touch me. Then, all of a sudden, his hands were holding down my wrists, elbows on the bed supporting his weight, and he was looking into my eyes with a side of him I never new. I then realized that his face was only a couple of inches away form mine…again.

"Bella…" He whispered.

I didn't know what to say. All that I knew, was that I was feeling the same thing I felt today at lunch, and that I so desperately wanted him there and then. I guess he could tell, because before I knew it, he gently pressed his lips onto mine.

Well, first I'd like to thank my Beta (aka Alice), and I'd also like to thank my friends for giving me the idea of Edward climbing through a window... If it werent for them, I would still be having writers block