Thanks to all who reviewed/commented! AND – I just realized we're halfway through the story! Unless I add chapters in…we'll see.

Song is "Reflection" by Christina Aguilera.

The next afternoon John, Marlena, Bo, and Hope were sitting in the Brady pub. EJ had called them the night before, as well as Roman and Steve, to let them know he was going back to England and he was sorry he wouldn't have time to see them before he left.

"I still can't believe he left Salem," Bo was saying incredulously.

"Yea…it's a shame," John sighed. "I actually started to like the guy."

"He really didn't give any reason for leaving?" Hope asked in a concerned voice.

"Nope," Bo answered.

Marlena put her coffee cup down. "I don't see that it really matters either way," she said indifferently.

They all turned to look at her strangely and she defended her statement: "Look what he did to our family!"

"Oh, baby, you still haven't gotten past that?" John asked.

"Yea, come on. He's not the same man that tortured our family. He's practically rid himself of the DiMera name!" Hope added.

"He raped my daughter!" Marlena cried stubbornly.

Bo stepped in after that. "He did not rape Sami. She admitted it herself, Marlena. Come on, don't you remember that?"

Marlena fell silent. It had still happened. She didn't care what Sami admitted or not – she hated him. She couldn't get past everything EJ had done, especially to John, even though the others had forgiven him and recognized that he had redeemed himself – many times over. She just couldn't let it go.

Just then, Sami burst into the pub. She spotted her family and walked over to sit down with them.

"Sami, honey, what's the matter?" Marlena immediately asked.

She looked like a complete mess. Her eyes were bloodshot, her hair was in a messy bun, she had no makeup on, and her face was red and blotchy. She looked like she hadn't slept in days, when in reality it was only one night.

"Nothing," Sami answered. "I'm fine. Just…the twins had me up all night. They're with Lucas now."

Little did they know, "with Lucas" didn't mean back at the apartment. Lucas had moved out and bought his own place not far away.

"How about a nice, strong coffee then?" John offered. "You look like you need it."

Sami gave a faint smile. "That would be great. Thanks, John."

"I'll come with you," Marlena said, feeling the need to be near her husband constantly.

After they left the table, Hope turned to Sami. "Sweetie, can I talk to you? Outside?" Sami looked at her and saw the hidden message in Hope's eyes. She nodded and they stood up, leaving a bewildered Bo at the table alone.

"Women," he muttered, shaking his head.

Hope led Sami to the bench outside the pub and sat down.

Without beating around the bush, Hope asked, "Wanna tell me the truth about why you look like that?"

Look at me.
You may think you see who I really am,
But, you'll never know me.
Every day it's as if I play a part.
Now I see
If I wear a mask, I can fool the world,
But, I cannot fool my heart.

Sami took one look at her aunt, so caring and sympathetic, she almost broke down. "Aunt Hope, he's gone," she said, her voice breaking.

"Oh, honey," Hope said, hugging her niece. "I know. Do you want to tell me what happened?"

And Sami proceeded to tell her the whole story. Lying to EJ about where she was going, speaking to Kate, her conversation with Lucas, running into Kate at the offices, coming home and finding EJ packing his bags, and realizing what Kate must have done.

"And now he's gone!" Sami finished, sobbing. "I never should have lied to him! I should have kept trying to make him listen! God!" she cried, sitting up straight, away from Hope. "I don't even recognize myself anymore! What kind of person have I become? I make myself sick!"

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

"Sami…" Hope tried to comfort her. "You tried to do the right thing. This isn't your fault."

"How could you say it's not my fault? If I hadn't lied…"

"I know. I know. But, Sami, you were going to tell him. It's just because Kate interfered, it all went wrong. Have you tried calling him?"

"No," Sami sniffled. "I'm too afraid to. He hates me now, Aunt Hope!"

"Sami. He doesn't hate you. No matter what he says, EJ could never hate you," Hope replied matter-of-factly.

"I just feel so lost…" Sami whispered, feeling the tears come back behind her eyes. "I don't know what I'm gonna do without him here."

"I know, honey. Listen, why don't you go home and get some rest? Lucas has the twins – God help him. I'll tell John and Marlena you went home to sleep, ok? I'm not going to tell them what happened."

Sami nodded. "Thank you so much." She gave Hope a hug and headed home.

I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in.
But, somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am.

Back at her apartment, Sami stood inside the door. Thank God that she had her aunt to help her with this. Sami knew she would never be able to talk to her mother about EJ. She hated him, and Sami knew it.

She hated the fact that she had to lie about the most significant part of her life to her family. They would judge her and, worst case scenario, probably disown her or something if she ever told them what was really going on.

Someday, though…if EJ ever came back to her…she'd let them know. And she'd make them be ok with it.

Sami went into the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face. She needed to get the puffiness around her eyes down. As she was straightening up from over the sink, she caught sight of herself in the mirror.

Who is that girl I see
staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?

'Who am I?' Sami thought to herself. 'When did I become this person? I shouldn't be hiding out in here just because my life went wrong.'

She was sick and tired of pretending to be a completely changed woman for her family's sake. She knew that once this divorce got under way, she wouldn't be able to fake being happily married to Lucas much longer. Especially now that EJ was gone, she couldn't act content every hour of the day.


Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

As Sami gazed at herself in the mirror, she thought more and more of how unfair it was that she had to hold all of this inside her. All the hurt and anger and confusion. Letting it out to her aunt wasn't enough.

Why couldn't she reveal everything she felt to her mother without being afraid of the results? That wasn't how it was supposed to work. She wanted to be able to share all her thoughts and feelings with Marlena. She was sick of pretending to be someone else just for her mother's happiness.

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why.
Why must we all conceal
What we think,
How we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time.

Sami let out a sigh. She knew what she had to do for now. She couldn't go to her mother. She couldn't go to anyone else in her family.

There was only one place in Salem that she knew she could go to. One place where she knew she wouldn't be judged for what she was feeling.

When will my reflection show
who I am inside?

Tomorrow, she would go and let it all out.

Taking one last glance in the mirror, Sami turned to try and get some much-needed sleep. Though, she doubted it would be dreamless.

When will my reflection show
who I am inside?