So, I started work on this chapter while I should have been working on vocabulary for school. Yes, vocabulary in college. WTF.

Anyway, if the content in this offends anyone I'm sorryin advance.

Song is "Mercy On Me" by Christina Aguilera.

St. Luke's.

This was where Sami decided she needed to go. She felt like a lost soul. She needed guidance. She needed to confess what she'd done to the only man who truly loved her for who she was. And since she couldn't rely on her family for support, save for her aunt, this was the best place she could think of.

Hence, after dropping Tom and Colleen off at her mother's – she took pity on Lucas after his ordeal with Colleen the day before –, Sami came here.

Lord, have mercy on my soul,
For I have walked a sinful road,
That I'm down on my knees.
Lord have mercy on me, please.

The church was completely empty at this time, which suited Sami just fine. She needed to be alone in her thoughts. She didn't want any distractions and she didn't want anyone to overhear anything she was about to say.

Sami stood in the middle of the church, feeling a tiny bit awkward. She did pray every now and then (getting stuck in that steam-room with EJ came to mind), but, it wasn't something she did regularly. Finally, she just decided to go for it and let it all out. Not to anyone in particular, just aloud.

Making the sign of the cross, she began, choosing her words carefully. "God, I didn't know where else to turn so I came here. I feel…absolutely horrible right now. I can't go to my family. I don't really have any friends. I guess you can say I'm pretty much alone right now. And…as a result of that, I've done some really bad things. Not just recently, but over many years."

She stopped, wondering how she should proceed.

Jesus, I must confess
That in all my loneliness
I've forsaken and I've sinned,
Leaving fragments of a man so broken.

"I guess could start to list every thing I've done in my life. But You probably already know all about them. It might be better if I tell You about the last…awful…thing I've done."

Tears started to form behind Sami's eyes, making it hard for her to continue. Every time she thought about lying to EJ, she felt sick. She had lost the love of her life because she was being stupid and stubborn.

"Actually," she continued in a strained voice. "You probably know about that, too. So You won't mind if I don't say exactly what happened. It hurts too much…"

I could tell you what I've done.
Or should I tell you where I went wrong?
Well, the more that I start to play,
My deceitful, evil ways
Keep on growing stronger by the day.

Oh, Lord, have mercy on my soul,
For I have walked a sinful road.
So, I'm gonna get down on my knees,
Beg forgiveness to help set me free.
Lord have mercy on me, please.

"I took him for granted," she went on. "I didn't think of what would happen. I just did what I thought was best and easiest for me. And I know now that that wasn't fair. I was selfish."

Sami paused again, waiting for the next words to come to her.

Shaking her head, she continued, "I don't want to be "evil Sami" anymore. My family has finally accepted me. I can't keep…wronging people anymore! I don't want to! I thought my streak of causing harm to the people I love was broken. Well," she choked back a sob. "It is now. I promise myself now that I'm not going to hurt them anymore. After losing him, I can't bear to lose anyone else…"

She took a deep, steadying breath, trying her hardest not to break down all over again. She'd been doing nothing but crying since EJ left. Usually, Colleen joined her in it. Sami didn't even know if he had managed to get to England all right. No one had spoken to him since he left.

Sami turned her head upwards toward the ceiling. "Please, please watch over him," she whispered. "Make sure that he's ok."

Mother Mary, full of grace.
In my weakness, I've lost faith.
I've been careless and I have been warned
And the devil inside me is torn.
God bless the man that I have scorned.

Sami walked deeper into the church, right up to the altar. Tears were streaming down her face and she'd never felt so lost in her life. She couldn't help but wonder to herself if this was karma's way of coming back to slap her in the face. That because of all she'd done in the past, she was destined to be alone forever.

She didn't want to be trapped in a life with no love around her. For that's what she had right now. Sure, her family loved her – but this wasn't the real her. Yes, she had promised she wouldn't be the evil girl from her past. And she honestly was a better person now. But, really, her family didn't know anything about her true thoughts or feelings at all.

She loved EJ Wells. She was getting torn apart inside because he'd left Salem. Her family didn't know that. And if they did know that…well, Sami was almost convinced they'd sympathize. But, her mother? The woman who's love was most important to her? Sami doubted that at all.

Oh, Lord, have mercy on my soul,
For I have walked a sinful road.
So, I'm gonna get down on my knees,
Beg forgiveness to help set me free.
Lord have mercy on me, please.

Snapping out of her thoughts, Sami opened her mouth to speak once again.

"I need help. Please, help me to take control of my life again. I need to get my head on straight for my children's sake. I can't keep screwing things up! God, I know You know everything I've done. I just hope You don't dmn me for it all. I need Your help and guidance in my life. Without that, I'm…lost."

Finally, Sami let the sadness and the loneliness and the feeling of being utterly alone wash over her. She let it all spill out. She couldn't hold it in any longer.

This was the most heart-broken she'd ever felt in her life. Losing Austin, losing Lucas, losing Brandon…none of them compared to the loss she felt over EJ. He was her soul mate.

So, don't let me fool around no more.
Send your angels down to guide me through that door.
Well, I've gone and confessed my regrets
And I pray I'm not held in contempt.
I'm so lost and I need you to help me repent.

Overcome by the force of her tears, Sami fell to her knees in front of the altar. There, she prayed through her sobs that God forgave her. And if He knew how truly sorry she was, maybe…just maybe…he'd bring her what she wanted back.

For one act of God…causes a chain reaction of events.

Oh, Lord have mercy on my soul.
Oh, I'm begging, I'm pleading, I'm needing,
I want you to know.
So, I'm down upon my knees.
Oh, Lord, I need forgiveness.
I need forgiveness from you.