A/N: Thanks to my Beta Liv Cassidy for being so awesome and honest with this chapter, so it wasn't too Stepford-y.
Olivia wasn't allowed to go home yet. She needed to stay in the hospital for observation because of the surgery she had when she came in. They said that Brian had to leave, but after some fights and Olivia telling them she'd leave AMA if Brian couldn't stay. They finally begrudgingly agreed. Olivia couldn't sleep by herself right now. She wasn't sure she'd be able to sleep with him there either, but the odds were better. Everything was still too fresh.
Brian was lying in her hospital bed with her, her head on his chest, her bad arm around him, his arm around her. They were awake, but Olivia was just in a space right now where she needed to feel safe, and the safest place she could think of was Brian's arms. She was glad that he was here, and that he hadn't run away, because let's face it, she didn't look the way she usually did, the bruises and cuts all over her body. She felt Brian rubbing her back and she let out a contented sigh. She looked up at him and smiled. "I love you," she whispered.
"I love you too, Pancakes," he whispered, gently caressing her face. He saw her smile, and that smile still had the power to light up a room. He saw the bruises, he saw that her hair had been cut, he saw the burns, and the broken limbs, but he saw past that,to Olivia; and to him, she was still the most breathtaking woman he had ever seen in his entire life, and she always would be.
She wrapped her arms around him, squeezing gently, her head buried in the crook of his neck, her eyes closed. Brian rolled off of her and got them back to where they were before. He kissed the top of her head. "I got you, baby. It's okay."
She took a deep breath, fighting the tears. "I just want to feel normal again," she whispered, starting to cry into his chest.
He rubbed her back, holding her as tight as he could without hurting her. "I got you, baby. I'm right here, I'm not leaving," he whispered. "You're safe now."
She curled into him, knowing that he was right. She was safe. She always had been in his arms. She was staring at the wall. "I want to go home. I'm sick of this hospital. It's just a constant reminder of what he did," she whispered.
His heart was breaking. He wanted to take all the pain away, he wanted to go back two days and save her before any of this happened, but the only thing he could do was hold her and try to assure her that she was safe. But seeing her cry, begging to feel normal again, knowing that she had a constant reminder of the hell she had just survived, it killed him. "Soon, baby. Soon," he whispered and kissed the top of her head.
Olivia nodded. "Not soon enough," she whispered. She closed her eyes and tried to get a little sleep at least, she was just utterly exhausted, but the nightmares kept her up. She woke up every few hours, crying and shaking, but Brian woke up with her every time, and helped console her and eased her back to sleep. Knowing that he was there for her helped her a lot, she wasn't sure what she would do without him, and she didn't even want to think about it.
The next day Olivia was sent home. She stayed at Brian's apartment; he went to her apartment to get clothes for her. She didn't want to be anywhere near her apartment. Brian brought her back a bag of clothes, make-up, and her shower stuff. She looked up at him when he came back and she smiled. "Thank you, love."
He smiled and kissed her. "Any time, you need anything?"
She kissed him back quickly, but pulled away. She was still trying to push through these things, but she missed kissing him. She gave a sad smile and spoke softly. "A lift to the bathroom would help. It's time for my bird bath."
He smiled and picked her up, carrying her into the bathroom, he set her down on the edge of the tub. "Want me to wash your hair?"
Olivia smiled. "Mmm, that sounds perfect," she said and stood on her good leg, her bad leg up. "I may need some help washing some of my body, but… not all of it," she whispered. "Just the left side of my body, so my cast doesn't get wet."
Brian smiled and nodded. "Anything you need, baby."
She smiled. "Where do you want me?" she asked softly.
Brian thought. "Hold on, stay right there." He ran to grab a folding chair and put it in front of the sink. "Sit."
She smiled and sat down, propping her leg up on the tub. He stood to the side of her and turned on the water. He grabbed her bag and took out her shampoo and conditioner. He used a cup to wet her hair, and massaged the shampoo into her scalp. Olivia smiled and let out a contented sigh. "You're too good at this; you may never get out of doing it."
He smirked. "Never want to," he said with a smile. He rinsed her hair then repeated the process with the conditioner.
She smiled. "I'm spoiled," she looked up at him and winked.
"Yes, yes you are, and I'm glad to be the one to spoil you," he caressed her face and kissed her cheek. He saw her flinch and he swallowed a bit. He knew it wasn't him. He just wanted to kiss her again.
Olivia noticed the look in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Bry," she whispered. "It just— I don't know. I wish I could explain it. I miss kissing you for hours on end. I just have this… fear. I feel damaged."
Brian smiled. "I will kiss you whenever you want, for however long you want. And you are not damaged. You're a survivor, but I will wait for you."
She smiled and bit her bottom lip, pulling him close and kissing him softly. She broke the kiss quickly and looked into his eyes. "I… It's all I could manage."
He kissed her forehead. "Lean your head back," he whispered. "I need to rinse your hair."
She smiled and leaned her head back, closing her eyes, feeling the water run over her head, and Brian's hands running through her hair. She smirked and looked at him. She knew he wouldn't push her, and that meant the world to her. She also knew that when she was ready, he would be there with open arms.
He smiled. "You want me to leave you alone so you can wash up?"
She nodded. "Yeah, thanks," she whispered.
He kissed the top of her head one more time. "Any time, Pancakes." He left the bathroom closing the door behind him. She stood up and took off her clothes. She took a washcloth and stated washing her body, closing her eyes as she did. She fought back the tears. What he did to her tore her apart. She hated looking at her own body now. She finished and dried herself off. She put on a tank top and shorts and hobbled out of the bathroom, Brian rushed to her side. "Baby, you should have called me."
She fell and landed in Brian's arms. "I'm just so used to being independent," she whispered, feeling Brian pick her up. He carried her to the couch and sat with her. She looked at him. "I'm sorry, Bry," she whispered, feeling tears running down her face.
He wiped her tears away. "Sorry for what, baby?" he asked, holding her close.
"That I can't do these things for myself; that I have to rely so much on you."
"Oh, baby, don't ever apologize for that. I'm here for you. I'm happy to do whatever I have to in order to help you heal. I'm not going anywhere, I'll be here for you until the day I die, I don't care how long it takes you to heal, baby. You're not getting rid of me that easily."
Olivia sniffled and let out a small laugh. "I love you so much," she kissed him gently, and jumped hearing a knock at the door.
Brian rubbed her back. "It's okay. I got it baby, just breathe." Olivia nodded and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. He got up and opened the door, seeing his mom there, obviously with tons of food for them. "Ma, what's up?"
Joan smiled. "I know I should have called, but I've been cooking all day to make sure you two had some food so you didn't have to leave Olivia alone." She looked over and saw Olivia on the couch. "Hello, Olivia, dear, how are you feeling?"
Olivia smiled. "Hi, Mrs. Cassidy, I'm hanging in there, thank you."
"Oh, dear, please call me Joan."
Olivia nodded. "Joan. Thank you for bringing the food, it definitely means a lot."
Brian looked at his mom. "Hey, mom, do you have any plans for the rest of the night?"
"Not at all, dear. Why do you ask?"
Brian bit his bottom lip. He had a plan. "Well I have to run out and grab a few things for Liv, prescriptions and such, I don't really want to leave her alone, would you mind hanging out with her for a bit?"
Joan lit up. "Of course not, as long as Olivia doesn't mind."
Olivia smiled brightly. "Not at all, your mom is pretty awesome."
Brian smiled and nodded. "I'll be back soon, I love you," he whispered and kissed her forehead.
She closed her eyes and smiled. "I love you too." She watched him leave and saw Joan putting the food away. She grabbed her crutch and hopped over. "Did you need any help?" She asked with a smile.
"Dear, you should be resting, I've got this. Go relax."
She nodded. "Thank you so much." She hobbled back over to the sofa and sat down, relaxing. Joan walked over when she finished putting things away and sat down next to Olivia. Olivia smiled. "Thank you," she said gently. "For raising your son the right way."
Joan smiled. "Well he was a rebellious teenager, but I did manage to instill some values in him I see."
Olivia shook her head. "He's the only man that's ever told me he loved me and meant it. The only one who promised he wouldn't leave, and hasn't. He means the world to me. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have him, especially after what just happened."
Joan took her hand. "You're a strong woman, Olivia. He's talked about you for years. I know you've always been a strong woman. You would survive either way."
Olivia shook her head. "I wouldn't have. Brian kept me alive through this. He's the reason I fought so hard. If I didn't have him," she shrugged and felt tears come to her eyes, "I probably would have let him kill me," she whispered and felt tears start to run down her cheeks. She wiped her eyes. "The thought of him got me through the rape, the torture…" she tried to stop crying, but it was futile. "I need him in my life," she whispered.
Joan hugged her gently and kissed her head. "Shh, shh, shh. Don't you think about that; you're safe now." She rubbed Olivia's back gently.
Olivia wiped her eyes again. "Brian gets it from you," she whispered. "That's exactly how he consoles me." The realization made her smile.
Joan squeezed her hand gently. "It's how I consoled him when he was little. I guess some things really do stick."
They laughed together and talked about a ton of different things until Brian got back. He had a bag in one hand and a small gray puppy in his other, with a red bow around its neck. Brian smiled at his mom and his girlfriend. "Not talking anything bad about me I hope."
Olivia smiled. "Nothing I didn't already know." She looked at the puppy in his arms. "And who do we have here?" She asked, taking the puppy from Brian. "Well hello, precious."
Brian handed her a bouquet of roses and held out the necklace that the Beast had stolen from her.
Olivia gasped. "My necklace," she put the puppy on her lap and looked at Brian. "How did you—?"
Brian smiled. "Since they didn't need it for trial, Cragen gave it to me to give back to you. I had it cleaned up." He put it around her neck, and kissed the nape of her neck and rested a hand on her shoulder. "And the precious little puppy's name is Brandy. I saw her at the shelter as I passed it on the way to the pharmacy. Her eyes reminded me of yours. I was hooked."
Olivia looked back at him and shook her head. "You're too incredible for words." She whispered and kissed him softly. Olivia nuzzled the dog and felt something on the bow. "What's thi—" Olivia gasped when she saw it. "Bry what's going on?" She turned to look at him and he was on one knee next to her.
Brian smiled. "Olivia, I've loved you for so long I've lost track, and this past week has shown me that I never want to lose you. Will you marry me and be mine forever?"
Olivia's mouth fell open, and happy tears fell from her face. She smiled and nodded. "Yes. Yes, a million times yes." She whispered and kissed him passionately, that fear from what happened to her was gone. All she felt in that moment was happiness. In that moment, she was herself again. Brandy gently pawed at Olivia, wanting some attention too. Olivia smiled and broke the kiss, petting the puppy again. She smiled.
Joan smiled. "Congratulations you two, and welcome to the family, Olivia."
Olivia smiled. "Thank you."
Joan got up and smiled. "I'll leave you two to celebrate." She let herself out and Brian kissed Olivia again.
Olivia smiled and took the bow off of the baby pitbull's neck and handed the ring to Brian, who slipped it on her hand. She felt Brian's arm around her, and looked at Brandy, curled up in a ball on her lap. She smiled and rested her head against Brian's. "This is perfect," she whispered, kissing Brian one more time.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review here or on Twitter, SVUConnoisseur! Next up: Olivia's healing begins. Brandy help's her through the process, and wedding planning commences.