Here's the new chapter, finished with all the Bensidy feels from "Internal Affairs" (No, not the scenes, just the feels...). I would get the Kleenex ready. Another big thank you to my beta, Liv Cassidy! Enjoy!
The next morning after breakfast, Olivia kissed Brian goodbye as he left for work. She sent Calvin off to school and then dressed herself. She called her OB/GYN and made an appointment for later that day. She went to her last physical therapy appointment, her counseling appointment, and finally her OB/GYN appointment. She sat on the table in nothing but the stupid paper gown that opened in the front. She was still self-conscious with everyone but Brian about the scars she had from her attack nearly two months ago. Her legs were crossed at the ankles, and her hand was grasping the top of the gown. Her doctor came in and she smiled gently. "Hello, Dr. Tessler."
The red headed woman smiled and nodded. "Olivia. It's so good to see you again. You haven't been here in a while."
She took a deep breath and let it out. "The perils of being a trauma worker, taking care of everyone else before yourself."
"You know better."
"Yes, I know it's just…" She shook her head. "Never mind."
"What brings you in today, just a check-up?"
Olivia smiled gently. "Well, my son and fiancé both thought I was pregnant so I took a pregnancy test and turns out… I am."
"Your son? When did that happen?"
She smiled. "Brian and I adopted him just about a week ago. His name is Calvin. He's a special kid. His mom left him with me about two years ago, then took him away… she went back to jail, his dad is in jail, his grandparents couldn't take him… there was no one else, so I fought for him."
The doctor nodded and smiled. "Okay, well, we'll do a full vaginal exam, blood work, and an ultra sound. Sound good?"
Olivia looked at her. "You're asking me if a vaginal exam sounds good? Oh yeah, Doc, metal speculum in my vagina sounds lovely."
"I've missed your sarcasm."
She chuckled and laid back, putting her feet in the stirrups and putting a hand behind her head, waiting for the inevitable question.
"Olivia, what are these scars?" And there it was…
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I was attacked two months ago. They're burns. I have some on my breasts too."
The doctor didn't say anything more, which Olivia was thankful for. She closed her eyes and went to her own little private beach, with Brian. She felt the speculum inside her and she scrunched her nose. She hated that damn thing. She felt the doctors fingers inside her and she bit her lip, keeping her composure. She saw her stand up and she took a look at her breasts. "My God, Olivia."
She took a deep breath. "Please just…"
The doctor nodded and felt her breasts for any abnormalities. "Okay, well your vaginal exam looks good. Nothing out of the ordinary, I'm going to step out and have you dress yourself, then we'll get the blood drawn and do an ultra sound, okay?"
Olivia nodded. Once she was gone she got up and put her clothes on, sitting back on the table when she was finished. She closed her eyes and got herself together. When the doctor came back in she drew some blood for testing and had Olivia lay back. She did an ultra sound and looked. "There's your baby." The doctor snapped a picture and printed it. "From the looks of this you're about fourteen weeks along."
Olivia looked and felt the tears well up in her eyes. "That's my baby?" She covered her mouth and felt the tears sting her eyes. She let out a small chuckle. "Wow."
Dr. Tessler smiled and sat down next to her. "Now, there are a few risks with your age, being pregnant. The chances of you having a miscarriage are high, and you've had them in the past. The odds are against you, but that doesn't mean that you won't have a baby. You're also at greater risk for high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, preterm labor, low birth weight, even delivering a still born. The baby has a greater risk for birth defects and health issues as well. But, if you start to take care of yourself, and not put everyone else first, I think you can have a successful pregnancy and a healthy baby."
Olivia listened to everything and that's when the panic set in. She was in her mid-forties. The fact that she was pregnant at all was a miracle. But now she had to worry about all of these negative affects her age had on the baby growing inside of her. What if she miscarried again? What if the baby was a stillborn? She wasn't sure she could handle it. "Um, what can I do to make sure that my baby and I are healthy?"
"Well, I'm going to order you some prenatal vitamins. I want you to come back in a few weeks; we'll monitor your progress closely. The best thing you can do is get plenty of rest, don't push yourself too hard, that will just put more stress on the baby, and you don't need that. Before you leave, I want to do a finger stick, just to see where you are."
Olivia took a deep breath. "I ate about two hours ago. Quick, a sandwich and a water."
"Perfect." The doctor grabbed a test strip, the glucose meter, and a lancet and tested her sugar quickly. "Okay, your sugars appear to be normal. That's good. We'll monitor your blood sugar as well, so if anything does change we can get on top of it quickly." She handed Olivia a prescription and smiled. "Prenatal vitamins, take them every day, that way you'll be sure you're getting the nutrients you and baby need."
She nodded and smiled. "Thank you. I'll see you next month. I promise."
"I'm holding you to that."
Olivia rested a hand on her belly. "So will this little one." She took her prescription, the picture from the ultra sound, and her things and walked out, heading first to the pharmacy, then heading home. She walked in and smiled, seeing Calvin home already. "Hey, Kiddo, how was school?"
He shrugged. "School."
She chuckled and walked over to him. "How would you like to see a picture of your brother or sister? Would that cheer you up?"
Calvin perked up and nodded. "Absolutely!"
She smiled and kissed the top of his head and took the sonogram out, putting it on the table. "The baby isn't very big yet, but it's there."
"Wow." He gently touched the photo and looked up at Olivia. "That's really a baby?"
She nodded. "It's really a baby."
Just then, Brian walked in the door. "Hello, my wonderful family." He walked over to them, kissing Calvin on the top of the head then wrapping an arm around Olivia's waist and kissing her lips. She smiled into the kiss, and pulled away, resting her head on his chest. "What are we looking at?"
Olivia smiled. "Our baby."
He looked at the sonogram and he smiled. "That's our baby? Right there? That cute little blob?"
She laughed and shook her head. "Yes. That cute little blob is our baby." She looked up at him and placed a few chaste kisses on his lips. "I just got home myself, so I didn't have the chance to heat anything up for dinner. What should we have?"
Brian smiled. "Already taken care of. Calvin texted me when he got home, and about forty five minutes ago saying you weren't home yet. I ordered Chinese, it's on its way."
Olivia shook her head. "The two of you are the most incredible men on the entire planet, you know that." She hugged them both and smiled. "Well, I'm going to get changed into something more comfortable then, I'll be out in a few minutes."
Brian looked at her then at Calvin. "I should get out of this uniform, don't want to stain it." Calvin rolled his eyes and Brian smiled and followed Olivia into the bedroom. He wrapped his arms around her from behind has she was picking out something to wear and she smiled, leaning back into him. "Okay, baby. Talk to me, what's on your mind?"
She looked over her shoulder. "What are you talking about? I'm fine." She broke free from his grasp and walked over towards the bed, taking her shirt off.
He took a deep breath and ran his hand down his face, his hand resting on his hip. "Liv, don't lie to me. You suck at it. I know you inside and out."
She put her short hair up in a ponytail and let her arms fall and she turned around and looked at him. "I'm that easy to read?"
He smiled gently. "You carry your worry in your face. It's only easy to read to me… because I know you so well."
She walked over to him and rested her forehead on his chest and groaned. "Do you have any idea how many things can go wrong with this pregnancy, just because of my age? I'm 45, Bri. I could lose the baby, I could deliver really early, I could deliver a stillborn. I could get diabetes, high blood pressure. The baby could have birth defects. God, Bri, I was so excited for this I forgot to worry about all the bad stuff."
"And that's how it should be. Baby, as long as you take care of yourself, do what you're supposed to do, you'll be fine."
She looked at him. "That's the other problem. Today was my first OB/GYN appointment in two years. She sort of reprimanded me."
He took a deep breath. "Can you blame her?"
She shook her head. "No, I just… I go into trauma worker mode, Bri. You know that. I always have. I forget that I'm human and that I need to take care of me first."
"Well, then we'll have to make sure that Mama and baby come first, because I love you both," he whispered, resting a hand on her stomach and pulling her into a passionate kiss.
She let out a soft moan and wrapped her arms around him, smiling into the kiss. "I think we can manage that," she mumbled into the kiss. She felt Brian unbutton her jeans and she gasped and broke the kiss. Bri, Calvin—"
He smirked and gently kissed her neck. "I'm just helping you change," he said in a low, husky voice in her ear.
His hot breath sent shivers down her spine. She loosened his tie and pulled it off, unbuttoning his uniform shirt and throwing it off to the side as she felt him slide her jeans down her legs. Before she knew it he was on his knees. He gently lifted her shirt and kissed her stomach. She smiled down at him and ran her hands through his hair. He stood up and she smiled and kissed him again. She undid his pants and slipped them off. He stepped out of them and he picked her up and spun her around and lay on the bed with her. She broke the kiss. "Hey… what happened to helping me change."
He smirked and sat between her legs, running her hands up her thighs. "I don't want your feet swelling on me. They're too cute to get all puffy."
She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Since when does Brian Cassidy have a foot fetish?"
He shrugged. "I wouldn't call it a fetish. I have no sexual attraction to your feet, nor do I want to suck on your toes, I just think they're cute. Then again I'm not the sex detective."
She raised an eyebrow, smiling as he started massaging one of her feet. "You used to be."
"Yeah, well… I'm the Munch of Narcotics, how could I give that up?"
She chuckled and sat up and kissed him. "Have I mentioned yet today how much I love you?"
He thought for a minute. "A few times. I have the texts," he winked.
"Remind me to not send you the naked pictures I took for you."
"Okay, now that's just torture."
She smiled and took a deep breath and shook her head. "It would only be torture if I actually took them," she winked and got up, putting on the pair of sweats she got out, the ones she stole from Brian.
He got up and walked over to her, putting on a pair of pajama pants and smiled. "You know, we could change that."
"Bri. I didn't do naked pictures before. You want me to do them now that I have these burns and scars? I think not. Besides, if someone hacked our phones… It wouldn't be good. NYPD SVU Detective and Uniformed Officer have leaked nude photos. I could see the headlines now."
"First of all, you know that the burns and scars only make you sexier to me, you survived baby. You're a fucking tiger, and you earned every one of those stripes. Secondly, who said we had to have them on a phone? Good old fashioned regular film photos."
She sighed. "They may be sexy to you, you may think of me as a tiger or… whatever, but, Bri… It's a constant reminder for me that I was attacked, that a man raped me after he tortured me for days. I doubt a boudoir photo shoot is going to change the way I feel about them. And really, film? Bri, where would we get them developed, Canada? That's probably the only place they don't know who I am. In fact they probably do."
"What are you talking about?"
"As much as I hate it, I've been in national headlines because of cases I've cracked. At least that's what Rollins told me. When she first got here she told me how she used some stuff from a case I closed a decade earlier. You don't think there's a film developer out there who would sell them to a tabloid magazine in a heartbeat for extra cash? Sex Crimes Detective by Day, Porn Star by Night?"
He took a deep breath and slipped into a shirt. "It was just a suggestion."
"Well, until one of us learns how to develop film on our own it isn't happening. Technology can be hacked. Both our reputations would be ruined…"
"You forget, mine already was when it came out I had sex with a prostitute, and again when I was accused of raping another. I get not wanting to tarnish your reputation, I just thought… I don't know, a pin up picture of you would be incredibly sexy."
She sighed and rested her hand on the back of her neck. "I'm sorry. I'm just edgy." She sat on the bed and put her head in her hands. "You know, because I'm panicking about the pregnancy and everything. I just…"
He sat down and rubbed her back gently. "Hey, it's ok. I'm sorry I pushed."
She shook her head and rested her head on his shoulder. "Don't be. It really shouldn't have been that big of a deal for me."
He kissed her forehead and she closed her eyes and smiled. He heard a knock on the door and smiled. "Dinner time."
She smiled and walked out, holding his hand. She walked into the kitchen to get plates and utensils as he answered the door. They sat at the table and served themselves and enjoyed some dinner conversation. They didn't bring up the possible complications with the pregnancy in front of Calvin. He didn't need that in his head.
After dinner they turned on the TV and sat on the couch. Olivia looked at Brian. "We need to start looking for a house. I need to pick a few things up from my old place before I give up my lease."
He gently rubbed her shoulder. "We can head over to your apartment tomorrow, and we can start looking for houses online."
She smiled and pulled out her phone and opened the App she downloaded to look for houses and handed it to him. "I'm a few steps ahead." She rested her chin on his shoulder and smiled and kissed his cheek.
He looked through the houses she put in ones she liked and stopped on one. "This… Liv…"
She looked at the house he had up and she smiled. "I love that one. It's truly… incredible. It's in our price range. It's perfect."
He smiled and kissed her lips softly. "Why don't we make an appointment to see it tomorrow afternoon?"
She smiled and snuggled into him. "Already ahead of you, I was going to tell you tonight."
He rubbed her back and smiled. "So, we head to your apartment tomorrow morning, then head into Pelham tomorrow afternoon to look at the house."
She smiled and looked at Calvin. "What do you think of the house, sweetie?"
He looked at the phone and then looked at them both. "This is a really nice house. And I'd have my own room?"
She smiled and nodded. "Your own room, bigger than the one here, you'd get your own TV, and we can decorate it however you want it."
He smiled. "Awesome! Can we move in now?"
She chuckled. "Let's go see it first, make sure it's really as good as it looks."
Brian smiled and kissed her forehead and then Calvin's. "Alright, Buddy, time for bed, school in the morning."
"But I wanted to go with you guys to see the house."
Brian smirked. "We'll take pictures. Besides, don't you want to go see that girl you like?"
Olivia looked at them. "Girl, what girl?"
"Thanks, Dad." He rolled his eyes. "Her name is Ally. I like her but she doesn't even notice me."
"Then it's her loss. You're an incredible kid. Anyone who can't see that is blind. Besides you're still a kid. I can bet that the girl you like now won't be the girl you spend the rest of your life with. I know when I was younger I liked a few guys. But the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with is your dad."
"You mean to tell me you never thought about the people you liked when you were younger?"
"Well, one, but I never knew his name. Just that we had one perfect dance together. But your dad is right. Bed time."
He sighed, and got up, walking into his room. "Good night. Love you."
"Love you too, kiddo. Sleep well."
Olivia snuggled on his chest and closed her eyes. "Do you really still think about that guy you danced with?" Brian asked, gently stroking her hair.
She groaned and shook her head. "Still? No. But I did, for a long time. Wondered what happened to him. But I didn't even know his name. Couldn't look him up, he had a mask on."
"Oh how romantic."
"Bri, we were at prom. Masquerade theme, we both had masks on. Besides, it never would have gone anywhere. The only reason he danced with me is because he didn't know who I was."
"Do you have pictures?" Brian asked. She smiled and stood up. She walked into their room and into their closet, pulling a box down.
"I had Rollins grab this for me a few weeks ago." She sat next to him and opened it. She pulled out a few pictures and a dark blue mask, with black lace around the edge and silver designs across it. "I saved for this mask for months. My mom burned my dress. I hid the mask so she wouldn't break it." She handed him a picture of her in a floor length, strapless dark blue dress with black lace detailing. It matched the mask perfectly. Her hair was up except for a few strands, which were hanging down and framed her face with beautiful curls. It was her prom picture, she was alone.
He smiled. "You were so beautiful. You still are." He kissed her softly.
She smiled and looked at the other photo. "And this… this is the man who gave me the best night of my life until that point. The last song came on, Take My Breath Away, by Berlin. He walked up to me and said –"
"You've taken my breath away all night. Dance with me?"
She smiled gently. "Yeah." She looked up from the picture. "Wait, how'd you know that?"
He picked up the picture in her hands. "It was me."
"You?" She had tears in her eyes and she smiled. She hugged him. She pulled away and looked into his eyes. "It's been you all along," her voice cracked, as a few tears fell. These were happy tears. She always wanted a fairy tale. Here she was, living one.
"And it always will be." He pulled her into a passionate kiss.
She relaxed into the kiss and straddled him. She felt his hands on her back and she let out a soft moan. She broke the kiss and looked into his eyes. "My Prince," she whispered, gently running her thumb over his lips, her face still close to his.
"My Queen," his hands rested on either side of her face and pulled her back into a kiss. It was passionate, but it was all about love. She wrapped her arms around him and he picked her up. He carried her into the bedroom and set her down, closing their door.
After a few minutes, Olivia broke the kiss. "Well, it's good to know what my mystery man has been up to all these years. And it's even better to know that he's the man I'm spending my life with. He's the only man I've ever wanted."
Brian gently caressed her face. "I love you."
She smiled and rested a hand on top of his. "I love you, too."
A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Please review! Here or on twitter! UnbrokenBarista! Next chapter, Olivia DOES go back to her apartment, and DOES go back to work. And do they get the house in Pelham? Will Liv have any complications with pregnancy? Keep reading to find out!