Flash
By
Snuffles4Eva
A/N: It's been a while, I know. I've just been having quite a hard time recently, and needed a rest. Then it struck me that I could immerse myself into my fanfiction. Yes, it sounds geeky but right now I really don't care.
Anyway, the point of that was I'm sorry if this chapter isn't funny in any way shape of form, but I'm not really in a funny sort of mood. Rather more like depressed. Still, I will try to make this as light-hearted as I can.
Disclaimer: We would so know more about the Marauders. Do we?
…
'Operation PestPuddle is in action!'
Sirius dive rolled across the corridor, only to head butt a suit of armour.
'Ow' he complained to himself.
'I'm sure your head is thick enough, Black' came a voice from above him. He looked up. Smirking down at him was Marlene McKinnon 'Operation PestPuddle? You couldn't think of a better name?'
Sirius sniffed 'I thought it was rather ingenious, myself'
'Well it isn't'
'But they're not likely to guess it, are they?'
'I suppose not'
'Ha' Sirius felt a strange surge of triumph at getting one over McKinnon.
'Oh, just hand me the phone'
'What phone?'
'James''
'Why James'?'
'Well Lily's then. Just give me a phone!'
'I don't get it. Why do you need the phone?'
'To get on with the plan, dolt. And you say you're not stupid' she finished muttering.
'But do we have to start the plan now?' Sirius asked. As much as their incessant flirting gave him a headache and often made him want to puke, it was entertaining enough. What else was he gonna do in Muggle Studies? He'd already charmed the ceiling to show him his favourite movies. Problem was he'd watched all of them already. He supposed he'd have to add some more films to his stock, but that took effort, and a lot of discreetness. Prongs and Evans were his main source of entertainment, sick though it was. He gave Marlene his best puppy-dog pout (which was pretty good, although for reason that he wasn't about to shout to Hogwarts).
'Argh. Ok. But if I get sick of it, then so help me Sirius Black, I will make sure you never EVER have children. Compredhe?'
'No lil' Sirius'?'
'No little beasts'
Sirius nodded. Marlene handed him the phones back, and he quickly stashed them into his pockets.
'You've got another day, at most, Black. After that, I might start to feel a bit ill, if you get my meaning' and she whirled around and walked away. Sirius gulped. Only one day? What else was going to do in Muggle Studies?
...
Hey Lils
Yes?
Oh, I was expecting WHAT, POTTER? To be spat nastily
I can go
Don't!
Give me one good reason?
I'm cute?
It's not good, but it's a reason. Ok then. Shoot.
Shoot what?
Tell me what you were going to say, block head.
That was mean. I might not tell you.
C'mon James... Tell me
Give me one good reason?
Because I'm cute?
It's not good, but it's a reason.
Plus I could positively torture you if I wanted.
Oh, I would like to see this!
It's on Potter
Sirius turned the screen of James' phone off, his brow furrowed. He would have to watch Evans. Her flirting was going a bit far, wasn't it? James must be thicker than he thought, not to realise that Evans liked him. Even he had realised that, and he was Sirius Black. James really was a dolt.
…..
Watching Evans proved to be futile. From what Sirius saw, she was acting exactly the same that she normally did. It was really frustrating him. James seemed a little more on edge, yet Evans wasn't doing anything. Why?
It was time to take the matter to a different level.
…
'Siri-' Lily Evans' screech rang through the hallways. Sirius cut her off and dragged her into an abandoned passageway 'Sirius Black, what do you think you are doing? James will kill you!'
'Don't I know it' he muttered.
'Just look, Sirius, whatever you have up your sleeve, let it go before James-'
'-Murders you?' a familiar voice boomed
'Ah crap'
'James can you not?'
'Not what?'
'Just try to calm down'
Sirius edged away from the fighting lovebirds, until he turned the corner and ran for his life in the opposite direction.
He was getting what McKinnon meant. He would have to put a stop to this. And soon.
But he had to add some more movies to the stock he had in Muggle Studies first.
…
'Psst!'
Sirius tried his best to discreetly signal Marlene.
'Psst!'
She turned around and saw him beckoning to her from around the corner.
'What?'
'Just come over here!'
She walked over, and Sirius pulled her into the nearest broom closet.
'Now, you see, I was thinking-'
'No! Really?'
'Don't act like that. I'm not as stupid as I look'
'Thank goodness for that'
'Oh, shut up. As I was saying, anyway, I was thinking that it's time'
'It's time for what?'
'What do you think?' he said sarcastically
'I'm sure I don't know' she replied
'It's time to-' the door was flung open, and light rushed in.
'What is it with you and broom cupboards, Black?' The voice of Lily Evans floated to them, and suddenly, as his eyes adjusted, her body became clear. One of her flaming eyebrows was raised completing the amused look on her face.
'Well you know they're generally handy things, what with the whole broom storage thing'
'And other stuff' muttered Lily, examining the two of them.
'What are you insinuating?' gasped Marlene, her face going a peculiar shade of red.
'Oh, I think you know exactly what I mean' Lily smirked.
'Speaking of insinuating' injected Sirius 'just what are you doing here?'
Marlene smirked 'Yes Lily, what are you doing here?'
Lily turned a delicate shade of red 'Erm, I'm err, er on my rounds' she finished lamely.
'Lily, its 7:30. Dinner finished half an hour ago. Curfew isn't until 9:00. Rounds don't start 'til curfew does' Sirius said suspiciously.
'And you don't have rounds tonight, do you?' Marlene said 'You promised to spend the evening with Alice and I'
'well, no but-'
'Then why are you really here, Lils?' Sirius questioned.
'I just remembered that I have to go er, see, er McGonagall, so I'll be going now...' Lily had begun to edge cautiously backwards until she came to the corner, then she sprinted around it, leaving Marlene and Sirius with identical looks on their faces.
'LILY EVANS!' The two yelled simultaneously, and they took after the blushing red-head.
…
Sirius reached her first.
'What are you hiding?' he yelled to her, she being only a few steps in front of him.
'You'll never know!' she yelled back, and sped up.
He growled in frustration 'Now I know why Prongs loves you'
Lily stopped. 'He loves me?' Sirius didn't stop quickly enough, and forgot to turn the corner, thus smashing into the wall, rather hard. Lily smirked, but with a troubled edge.
'See you around, Black!' she turned around, and started running in the opposite direction, only to skid into a halt when she encountered a gasping Marlene.
'Stop-' gasp '-Right-' gasp '-There-' gasp '-Lily Evans-' gasp. Marlene practically staggered into Lily. Lily just smirked and continued to run.
Sirius picked himself up from the floor 'Man, is that girl fit'. Marlene looked up from her gasping posture to fix him with a delicately raised eyebrow. He soon realised what he had said 'I mean, she has good stamina. That's all I meant'
'Mm hmm' said Marlene, still trying to get her breath back.
…
'Ok, Operation PestPuddle is go!'
'PestPuddle?'
'We are NOT having this conversation again' Sirius frowned.
'Ok, hand me the phone' said Marlene
'Why do you get to do it?' Sirius whined
'Because I'm a girl'
'I can see that' Sirius gave an appreciative glance over her form
'And I'm Lily Evans' best friend'
'Yeah, I always wondered how you did that'
'I know, I'm amazing. Now hand over the phone'
Sirius handed the replica of Lily's phone over meekly.
'Thank you. Now we can get to work' she said matter-of-factly.
Her fingers were poised over the keyboard when Sirius cried 'Wait!'
'What now Black?'
'Won't Lily see it?'
'Crap. She will.'
'My plan! It's foiled!'
'Or we could just delete the text after we've sent it' she replied, almost bored.
'Ohh. Good idea'
'I'm full of them'
She began to type:
James?
Quickly she deleted the text, only to have it buzz, and another one turn up.
Yes Evans?
'Crap, crap, crap, crap' muttered Sirius 'She's gonna see, she's gonna see, she's gonna see'
Marlene swiftly deleted James' text, before keying in:
Meet me on the second floor
As you wish, m'lady
Marlene quickly deleted the two texts.
'Now what?' Sirius questioned.
'Now we hope that Lily is being Lily, and is situated in the Library, with her phone turned off like a good girl.'
'And?'
'We rush to the second floor'
...
James Potter was wondering around the second floor corridor when he got hit in the head. Hard
...
Sirius grunted.
James' body was heavier than it looked. He disillusioned himself, whispered Ennervate and shoved James into the broom cupboard before he could protest.
He switched his own phone on, and typed
Stage 1: Check
Moments later his phone buzzed again, with Marlene's answer
Good
He checked his watch. 5:30. He still had time for a shower.
...
Sirius sat down later that evening at the dinner table.
'Padfoot, where is Pongs?' was Remus' first question.
Sirius shrugged. How should he know?
…
Half way through dinner Sirius felt his phone buzz. He spotted Marlene looking at him from down the table, and nodded. Part Two was about to be put into action.
…
Half-way through dinner, Marlene McKinnon spotted Sirius leaving the Great Hall. She jumped up.
'Where are you going?' Lily demanded, looking at the door. Her eyebrows rose as she saw Sirius.
'Nowhere' she answered quickly 'Do NOT follow. I mean it!' and with that she practically ran out of the Great Hall. Lily got up to follow her.
'Don't' said Alice.
'But Alice – she's practically begging me to follow her!'
'Just don't Lily. I have a feeling'
'Who are you, a seer? C'mon, you know Mar. She's baiting me'
'It's your funeral'
And with that Lily Evans jumped up, and followed Marlene out of the Great Hall.
…
A/N: Hope it wasn't that terrible… Anyway, here it is, 1 hour and 57 minutes over the time I should've gone to sleep – 9 hours, remember?
Thanks, please review!
Snuffles4Eva