Chapter 14 (rated M)
I tip toed into the bathroom, scared to wake Mike. Softly closing the door behind me I splashed my face with cold water. I felt disgusting, not because of what Mike and I had just done. Although I felt bad for Mike, having my touch on him. But because of how I had felt when Ezra had touched me. I shouldn't have let him have that effect on me. Bringing up the past was stupid and pathetic. Shaking slightly I shoved my finger down my throat, letting the contents of my stomach fall into the empty toilet bowl. It felt good to have this type of release. I had got addicted to making myself throw up a few months after I found out about Tom, only a week after Mr Gerald made his first advances. It was nice to purify my soul, get rid of all the bad. Everything wrong I had ever done was emptied. Plus this was the one aspect of my life I could control, having the power to control the calories I let sit in my body was good. I could control my figure, let people think I had my whole life in control. I had a negative body image for so long, but doing this gave me relief. It showed me I didn't need the food. I could be the skinny girl everyone loves. Unfortunately I was still fat. I could feel the rolls hanging over my size 1 jeans, I knew I wouldn't be happy till I was a perfect size zero. Maybe I wouldn't be happy then. I knew I had to become skinny. Pushing my finger down my throat once more, I didn't hear the door creak open.
"Nikita?" A women's voice asked as I threw up for the last time.
"M-Meredith." I stuttered whipping my head around to face her.
"You hate yourself that much? Poor wittle Niki." Meredith laughed. It was painful to hear her laughter, it confirmed how fat I truly was.
"Piss of Meredith." I said in the strongest voice I could muster. Meredith just laughed again and ran out of the bathroom. A few minutes later I could hear a car turning on in the driveway and zooming off. What the fuck was she doing home anyway? Walking to the sink I brushed my teeth about twenty times to remove the foul smell from my breath. Once I was convinced you could no longer smell it, I took a shower. Letting all the negativity wash itself down the drain.
"Morning beautiful." Mike sang jumping into the shower a few moments later. I smiled into his mouth as he gave me a warm kiss.
"Mmm good to see you." I giggled as Mike lets his lips and fingers explore my body.
"Hay girls." I called from the doorway as I entered Spencer's house.
"Hello, may I ask who are you?" A woman who I presumed was Mrs Hastings greeted me sternly.
"Sorry! I didn't realize anyone else was here. I'm Nikita Taylor." I smiled shaking Mrs Hastings outstretched hand.
"Oh you are the new family to town. We would love to have you guys around for dinner. Tell your Mom to give me a call sometime." Mrs Hastings smiled walking away. She seemed like a lovely woman, much nicer than my Mom. I made my way upstairs getting dragged into Spencer's room by an angry Hanna.
"So what was it you wanted to say about A?" Hanna almost yelled.
"Do you think there is any chance it could be Meredith?" I asked looking directly at Aria.
"Why do you think that?" Spencer curiously asked, Aria's face turned stone cold.
"She just saw something last night and a few seconds later I got a text from A about it." My text had come immediately, but I only saw it in the morning after the shower. A text about my bulimia and a photo attached. I was sure it was Meredith who had taken it, who else?
"It's not her." Aria said with a face of stone. We all looked at her curiously and she continued.
"Just trust me guys, it's not Meredith." We all awkwardly dropped the topic and I asked them if they had any ideas.
"Um we were talking to Ian last night and he said he knows who A is. I guess he's our safest bet." Spencer shrugged, playing with a loose thread on her jumper.
"Ian? He's dead though." I said, I knew for a fact he was dead. Melissa had made that perfectly clear.
"Apparently not, he's with my sister Melissa so..." Spencer replied, clearly puzzled.
"You're sister is Melissa?" I exclaimed, so Spencer's Melissa's annoying little sister that just so happened to be friends with Ali.
"Yes, how do you know her?" Spencer asked clearly shocked that I knew her.
"She came to my apartment a few years ago to yell at Ali. Then Ali left all annoyed, Melissa and I had one painfully boring conversation." I shrugged, but noticing the girl's shocked faces I quickly snapped my mouth shut. I had completely forgot that they didn't entirely know my relationship with Ali.
"Ali?" Emily stuttered.
"After that summer that I met Hanna, Ali found me and I guess we really hit off. She came to my house a lot and you know we were just friends. I saw you guys at her funeral actually, I was going to come talk to you but... She loved you a lot guys. Never stopped talking about you four." I replied with a smile on my face. Ali was a good friend, no matter what anyone, cough Blake and Jesse cough, said. There was a few moments of silence before Emily spoke up.
"Are you okay Nikita?" I was taken back by the question. Was I meant to be upset about something?
"She's just wondering about last night. With Ezra." Aria added noticing the confused look on my face.
"Oh yeah! I'm absolutely fine! Sorry, I didn't mean to overreact last night Aria." I smiled, lying through my teeth.
"It's just good to know you're okay. Anyway we need to leave for school!" Spencer commented jumping off the floor. It was great to have first period off, but now we needed to get working. Yay, not.
"I'll ride with you." Emily said to me. I knew she wasn't done with the are you okay stuff.
"Why did you want to ride with me Ems? I know it's not just to chat." I said after a few minutes of laughter. Heck there was a lull in the conversation it was my chance to figure it all out.
"I know you're not okay. I see the pain in your eyes, hear it in your voice." Emily said looking at me with her big, earnest eyes. She seemed so innocent, yet experienced. I didn't know what to say.
"It's okay. You can tell me, I promise I won't tell anyone." Emily smiled placing her hand on mine, and I knew she was right. I needed to tell her, its bad to keep it bottled up right?
"Please just drop it." I mumbled keeping my eyes on the road.
"Nikita you have to open up to somebody. It will hurt you more to keep it inside." Emily was too right.
"I'm a piece of shit okay?" I screamed, and soon I couldn't stop myself from letting the words out.
"I can't do anything right! Everything I touch turns to crap. I'm sure you've heard about my slutty and stupid ways back in New York, but I didn't always want to be like that you know? I found out I had a brother, same birthday as me, Dad had knocked this lady up and my life spiraled downwards. I started wagging class and not handing in assignments. Staying out late, getting drunk almost every night. And my p.e teacher, Mr Gerald, decided to take advantage of the situation." I finished screaming letting the tears roll down my face. I hadn't even noticed we had pulled in to the schools parking lot. I could feel the memory of Mr Gerald coming back and I tried so hard to push it away, but it was too strong.
"So Miss Taylor it seems you've been missing all your p.e classes for the past two weeks." Mr Gerald shut the door behind me as I entered his small classroom. I looked into Mr Gerald's hungry eyes and smirked. Like it mattered, none of it did.
"This will certainly look terrible on your report card, you may have to repeat this year. But I'm sure we can find some extra credit activities for you." Mr Gerald had come very close to me and I could feel his hot breath on my neck. I took one small step back and he took a large step towards me.
"I-I don't know what you mean sir." I had began to feel very uncomfortable and I wished someone could come save me. Walk in, but then I remembered Mr Gerald had locked the fucking door.
"I think you know perfectly well." Mr Gerald took one swift step toward me and soon his lips were pressed onto mine. It felt wet and clammy as Mr Gerald forced his tongue down my throat. It felt like a dog's tongue and I pushed him off. Mr Gerald placed a hand under my chin before slapping me hard on the cheek. He forced his mouth back on top of mine and used one hand to take of my shirt, while the other rested on my butt. Pushing me onto his desk he ripped my bra off and placed his mouth over my breasts. Taking his time to lick every square inch. Pulling down his pants he forced my mouth onto his penis. I nearly gaged as he skull fucked me, sending his full shaft down my throat. After thirty seconds he swiftly turned me around and pushed his penis into me, and pushing in and pulling out roughly. I could feel the pain on my hips as Mr Gerald's hands tightly gripped me, but I didn't have the energy to push him off. To be honest with myself I was scared. He quickly released his load into me and I came a few seconds later, shoving his fingers where his dick had just been, he forced me to swallow every drop of both of our juices.
"I will see you next week. I expect you to be much more co-operative." Mr Gerald let out a deep laugh sending chills down my spine.
"That is so horrible! You should call the police, that's rape." Emily said pulling me into a large hug. I cried into her shoulder, I hadn't realized I had said my story aloud.
"The rape charges wouldn't stand as he told me. I thought I needed to control my body in that way so I initiated sexual activities with my teachers for extra credit, before they could be the one to try something on me." I whimpered.
"But..." Emily protested, but I quickly interrupted.
"Please, don't try to convince me to do anything else. Just be there." I wiped away my last tear away, checked my make up, and exited the car. I marched straight to my class, not looking behind me. I could feel Emily's gaze on me, but looking back would surely put me back in tears.
"Guess who I just saw?" Jesse asked me sitting down at the table next to Spencer. I grabbed a diet coke from Jesse's tray and shrugged.
"I'll give you a clue. He was a p.e teacher at school last year, and now he is getting a job transfer here." As Jesse said this my face turned to stone. There was one p.e teacher at our old school who desperately wanted to leave the bustling life of New York, wanted to move to a calmer suburb. Exactly like Rosewood.
"Mr Gerald! He's the man." Jesse exclaimed, a look of pure happiness. I quickly released Mike's hand, dropped my coke and ran from the cafeteria, all while averting Emily's stare. Running down a corridor I made a sharp left, falling on my ass as I knocked into somebody.
"Nikita! Pleasure seeing you here. I know I will be seeing a lot more of you." Mr. Gerald smiled creepily offering a hand to help me up.
"Don't touch me!" I coldly said looking him dead in the eye. I could tell he heard the hardness in my voice and let out a chilling laugh.
"Oh babe I've heard that before and it never stopped me." Mr Gerald winked at me and I shivered repulsed by the man who stood before me.
"Get away from her!" Emily yelled from a few metres behind me. I turned to look at her and was so thankful to see her. I instantly jumped up and ran to her side. Seeing her gave me the strength to get Mr Gerald away. Taking Emily's hand in mine I spoke up.
"Get the fuck out of this school! And if I were you I would get as far away from this school as possible. You of all people should know I have my connections." I spoke slowly and clearly, smiling as Mr Gerald's face dropped.
"You can't get rid of me that easily Nikita." Mr Gerald laughed before taking off. When he disappeared I wanted so badly to collapse in Emily's arms, cry, but there was something I had to do first. Walking to the principals office I barged through the door, not caring about what his secretary was saying. I could hear Emily apologize to her, and I shut the door behind me.
"Can I help you?" The principal asked. The sad thing was I didn't even know his name.
"You cannot hire Mr Gerald!" I screamed. The principal looked taken aback and stood from his seat.
"Why is this Miss Taylor?" He remembered my name? Was this good or bad?
"Please! He... I can't tell you, but please. If you value the safety of all your students, you cannot hire him!" I pleaded. I didn't want anyone else to go through the horrors that I had. Not feel worthy of anything.
"Miss Taylor I can't make any decisions without you telling me why I can't hire Mr Gerald." The principal spoke calmly and smoothly and it calmed me down.
"Please! Anyone but him, he..." I began to break down in tears and could hear the principal place a comforting arm around me.
"What did he do that was so bad Nikita? You can trust me." Something in his voice made me believe this and I almost did tell him.
"If I told you, you would make me go to the cops and I can't do that." I finally said, muffling my tears.
"Nikita, I won't make you do anything you are uncomfortable with." He smiled earnestly and before I knew it I had answered the question.
"He raped me." My voice was close to a whisper and I wasn't sure if he had heard it. When I peaked through my long eyelashes at him I knew he had.
"This is a serious accusation. You need to go to the cops." Mr. principal said defiantly.
"I can't! I have my reasons, please sir. Just forget I said anything."
"Nikita if you don't I will." The ultimatum that I was sure that was going to come.
"You promised!" I yelled back.
"I guess you are right. Considered him not hired." Mr Principal let out a long sigh and took his place in the seat, steadily focusing on the work in front of him.
"Thank you!" I smiled walking out of the office a lot calmer than my entry.
I know that could have been a bit triggering, but I needed to reveal her past. Read and review please (: