A/N: Hello readers, sorry this is a bit later coming. My issues editing Chapter 9 have led me to the conclusion that the problem is with the content, not the wording, so I am in for some major rewrites... As such updates will be a bit slow for the next few days (or more) as I try to sort myself out again, I'm sorry about that, but it's hopefully going to be for the best in the long run. Thanks for all the feedback so far!
Health and Safety: Chapter 7 – The Punch Line
When I hear a knock at the door, I assume it's the Doctor returning, even though he hadn't been gone for long. However when I crack the door open, it's the elegant green face of Madam Vastra I am greeted by instead of the Doctor's sheepish red one. Not that it was actually red anymore when he fled…
She looks surprised as well for some reason.
"He has actually given you a moment to yourself?"
"Yeah, he went to get something to eat, and to see how you were settling in." I don't need to mention that I scared him senseless. Well, he was scared but staring… Oh dear… Was he scared? Or was it something else…
"How are you Clara, and I mean how are you really?"
"Tired."
She waits for me to say more.
"You told me once that the truth was just one word." I say to her.
My Victorian self is so easy to remember, it isn't disorienting at all. Everything else I remember only comes in tiny bits, a laugh, a smile, a word or a feeling. They are just snippets here and there, except when I dream them, or see them, or whatever we are calling what happens when I'm not conscious.
But Victorian me, it's easy, it's almost real. I can remember how ethereal it felt when I was on the cloud, and how it my heart raced when I thought I was climbing a staircase to the heavens. I remember the smell of the tropical plants in the Paternoster home when Vastra gave me the one word test, which at the time I thought was impossible, and still think is a rather cynical idea. Some things just can't be explained in one word, but that doesn't make them any less true. And of course I can remember the feeling of a pair of lips responding quite willingly against mine even as the hands of the body they belonged to flailed awkwardly…
That me got to kiss him without worrying about the consequences, damn her luck…
Vastra gives me a wry smile in return to my comment about truth.
"I just wanted to thank you. Without you Jenny would never have been restored, or Strax. And I would have forgotten myself. I was not in a good place when the Doctor found me. I was so angry, and I was taking it out on people who had done me no wrong. The Doctor helped me, and later, quite by accident gave me my new family and a new home. I cannot ever express how grateful I am for that or how grateful I am to you for saving them."
After such a heartfelt thank you I'm afraid to cheapen it by just saying 'you're welcome.' So instead I slowly walk over to her, and pull her into a hug. She stiffens momentarily but puts an arm around me in return before pulling back.
"I had best get be on my way. Jenny is asleep and I don't want her to wake up and find me gone."
There is another careful rap at the door a few minutes after she leaves.
"It's me." The Doctor says on the other side.
"Come in." I tell him, now fully changed into dust free garments. I have no idea what came over me earlier…
He pushes the door open, carrying some biscuits on a square plate.
"The cook didn't want to give anything up, it took some convincing." He grins.
"Everyone else settled in?" The biscuits taste like they were made several days ago, but I am really hungry all of a sudden so the prospect of any kind of food is pretty appealing. I still have my half finished tea to wash them down with at least.
"Jenny is asleep. Vastra was just heading back into their room when I went to check in but I think she will be off to bed soon too."
He inclines his head towards the bed, and gives me a look that implies sleeping is good and I should be doing that too.
"Strax?"
"Oh… he went to 'investigate' the saloon across the street as soon as everything was sorted in the stable." The Doctor rolls his eyes and shakes his head.
"Want some?" I offer him one of the slightly stale biscuits. He eyes it before shrugging and taking it.
"We really need to go to Lake District and get some proper scones after this." He says, making a face.
I laugh, which feels wonderful after everything that has happened. He smiles, and reaches to touch my face. It isn't the desperate grab to keep me in reality, it's just one of his usual little touches that I never mind one bit. But with me so worried about letting him into my head, I don't want his hands anywhere near my face. So unlike usual, I move away. His smile falls from his face immediately.
"Clara, what are you so scared of?" He pleads, dropping the biscuit and scooting closer to me.
Before I can answer, the Doctor jumps to his feet as we hear the sound of footsteps rushing down the hallway. Our door flies open to reveal a very worried looking Ria.
"I'm really sorry to burst in, but please come quickly, Strax has apparently gotten into a… a disagreement of sorts with Vladimir, who is kind of the local tough guy and the bouncer at Betman's Saloon. Someone needs to get one of them to back down before things get ugly and it needs to happen right now. I want to keep Walt and Daniel outta this if we can."
The Doctor grabs my hand as we follow Ria out to the main street and down to the Saloon we saw someone get tossed out of earlier. She pushes the half doors open and the scene that we walk into would be laughable if it didn't involve someone we cared about.
There is no hope of cooling this off before it escalates; it looks like it escalated a while ago. Strax is roaring battle cries while wrestling on the floor with a very large, very bald and very angry looking man. A few tables have been flipped over, broken glass is scattered all over the place. The man playing the piano on the landing between the first and second floors hasn't bothered to stop, providing an upbeat soundtrack for the crowd of people who have swarmed over to watch the fight, egging them both on and taunting with jeers.
"Come on Vladimir, knock 'is off wordly socks right off a him!"
"Three bucks says the potato wins!"
"Oh you're on, you already owe me half your next pay, what's another three bucks?"
"Ain't he manly dear?"
"Oy watch who you shove!"
"Who stole my drink eh?"
Ria looks at the Doctor expectantly.
"What am I supposed to do?" He gasps.
"Pull him off of Vladimir, tell him to stop it, step between the two of them or anything else your mind happens to come up with!" She exclaims.
He gives her a look that questions her sanity and takes a step back.
"Doctor, really, Ice Warrior, attack of the super models, parasitic suns, no problem, but angry Russian strong man is your limit?" I prod him.
"They seem to need to sort this out like gentleman…" He reasons, just as a bottle comes flying over our heads, very gentlemanly indeed.
"You shall not defeat me human; prepare to be beaten to a pulp for the glory of the Sontaran Empire!" Strax slurs, brandishing a table leg like a club.
"Lot of good you are." Ria spits at the Doctor before taking off her coat and a belt I hadn't noticed under it and tossing them to me.
The belt has one of the futuristic colt pistols in it, which shocks me a bit. Ria didn't seem like the type to carry a weapon. I don't get to consider that thought farther though because to my horror she is shoving her way through the mob of people and tries to grab the table leg from Strax, yelling at them both to calm down.
No one listens to her at all though; Vladimir actually shoves her out of the way as he dives for Strax. Ria is flung into a woman at the front of the crowd, who grunts at her before pushing her out of the way. Icabod catches her, and starts yelling at the woman about respect. Everything just unravels from there and suddenly the whole crowd begins yelling at one another. I don't know who threw the first punch, but soon enough a full on saloon brawl erupts around us.
I smack the Doctor on the shoulder, which finally brings him to his sense. He whips out his sonic screwdriver, and points it at the piano which is suddenly amplified for a several seconds, terrifying the man playing it.
"Calling for back up, someone will have heard that." He explains before diving into the crowd, pushing his way through till he gets his hands on poor Ria, pulling her out with him.
Figuring that after all of the damage done to the establishment a few more broken glasses won't break the bank, I manage to turn over a table near the door and motion to him for the three of us to duck behind it. He helps Ria sit and then drops down himself, not a second too soon as a bottle comes flying through the space our heads had just been, shattering as it hits the wall, spraying what was left of its content everywhere. A few seconds later there is a dull thud on the other side of the table followed by a groan; someone got thrown into it I guess.
This has just been a fantastic day and that isn't even counting Trenzalore. Thank you TARDIS for bringing us here… I turn to tease the Doctor about his snog box's habit of putting us right into harm's way, but his attention is focused on Ria, whose nose is bleeding pretty badly. She is reluctantly using her scarf to try and staunch the blood.
"I tried, I really did." She laments, peeking over the table at the mob.
"You were brave enough to give it a go, I wasn't." The Doctor comforts her.
"The hell is going on in here?" A voice rings out.
Walt MacEwan is standing angrily in the doorway, can someone actually stand angrily? If they can he definitely is… Daniel Troves saunters in behind him, and notices us sheltering behind the table.
The Doctor silently mouths 'see, I got us some back up' at me.
"Ms. London, what happened here?" Daniel asks us calmly.
"Vladimir decided he and Doctor Smith's associate weren't going to get along." She tells him.
"Who did that to you?" Walt asks angrily, pointing at her face. He seems to do a lot of things angrily.
"I don't know, I tried to get them to stop but that didn't go so well and the rest is a bit of a blur." She looks down at her feet, seemingly ashamed.
Another bottle comes flying across the room, which collides with Walt's hat, knocking it off his head.
He glares at the general direction it came from before throwing himself into the fray.
"Walt that is not a good idea…" Daniel protests before following him reluctantly.
The two lawmen start to pull people apart, taking as well as throwing some punches in the process. They've almost made it to the middle of the fight when Vladimir breaks a bottle off a table, and comes at Walt from behind, raising the broken bottle to hit him over the head with it.
Ria acts quickly, reaching into the holster she had tossed to me and drawing the pistol out of it. The Doctor looks dismayed as she stands and levels it right at Vladimir, but before the Doctor has time to protest she cocks the gun and rapidly fires three shots, which pulse out as jets of light, all of which hit the massive man squarely in the chest and he drops to the floor with a thud.