A/N: I apologize if it seems like this chapter is a bit uneventful. I just...needed to get a lot of this out into the open. Now that I'm getting back into writing this one, I would love to start getting reviews again. Please let me know what you think? What you hate? What you love? Anything would be lovely.

During a war, long periods of time seem to pass by quickly. Especially for the losing side.

The newly reformed Order of the Phoenix was that losing side. There wasn't just one reason why, they were just collectively lacking in something. Their ranks were small, consisting of the Weasleys, Potters, Longbottoms, Scamanders, Teddy's grandmother, a few of Harry's schoolmates, the Hogwarts gamekeeper – Hagrid, a few wizard's Albus didn't know, and the current Headmistress of Hogwarts – Minerva McGonagall. It was a well-rounded group and each member brought their specific skills. And yet….

New death announcements were mentioned in the Daily Prophet each day. Voldemort wanted everyone to know just which side they should follow of this war. Each name on that growing list pinned up in the meeting room was like a stab in the gut of their faction. They were losing hope by the day. The hardest deaths, of course, were those that hit close to home. Gabrielle Delacour, Luna Scamander, George's closest friend – Lee Jordan. The entire Order had a drink for every single one that was caught without backup and a few could be heard sobbing in the night.

Resistance was becoming useless.

An entire month of meetings full of hopeless planning and almost pointless tidbits of information passed. Albus had marked every single day on a calendar by his bed, Scorpius watching with a disapproving sigh. He preferred not to think about the time that had passed. He didn't want to know who was dying because he frankly didn't care. There were always casualties in war. Besides, he really didn't know a single one of those grieved for. Each day that had gone by was time for him to spend in the library at Grimmauld Place, searching for the name from the Snitch. No one knew what he was looking for and they didn't care to ask.

Everyone avoided the pair like dragonpox.

The only person who would come talk to them for the sake of seeing them was Ginny Weasley. She felt comfortable enough for some reason to actually speak with her son and his boyfriend in private. But she never prodded in on how they were doing personally. That was still uncomfortable territory. She would even go so far as to look away whenever they might show minute affection to one another.

Albus didn't blame his mother for this, though. He knew that after his father left her for a man of similar looks, it must be strange for her to see him slightly following in his footsteps. Besides, he wasn't even all that used to this…whatever it was, yet….

The actions of this relationship came to him more and more naturally with each passing day of that month. He was starting to grow accustomed to the decidedly male musky scent of the man who would often come up behind him and wrap his arms tightly around his midsection. The scratch of newly grown stubble on the back of his neck in the morning was beginning to feel incredibly pleasant. And those kisses that tasted something like dark honey were not something he could even think to argue with.

He'd known somewhere inside that he liked men for years. Since his father had started to date Draco Malfoy. Since he had seen just how happy they were together when they thought no one was looking. It had just not been something he had wanted to come to terms with. He had hid it down deep inside and ignored it. But now that he was with Scorpius…. Now that he cringed every single time he glimpsed Alice Longbottom at a meeting…. This just seemed natural. And real. And right.

Since the day of his father's memorial, the pair hadn't gone so far as to make love. They spent every waking and sleeping moment at each other's side. Albus would help the other search through the library in desperation for any help towards their secret goal. Scorpius would sit in the bathroom upon the floor while his lover showered so that he wouldn't feel alone. They shared heated kisses in the night when they couldn't sleep, desperately clinging to one another for the support they desired. And yet….

That action just reminded them of something depressing and hopeless. It came with memories of a day where they had needed to feel something to survive. To call back upon those feelings felt absolutely wrong. It felt like tearing a soul in two. Every time they would get to the point of crossing that hurdle, they would have to rip themselves apart and sit on opposite sides of the room to calm down. They never spoke of it, but they both knew that it felt appropriate.

As the day drew to a close, Albus stood beside the calendar in their room and just stared at every single 'x'. He looked at the first of the month, sighing as he remember his cousins heading back off to school. He remembered the way his mother had cried as she said goodbye to Lily. In all actuality, Hogwarts was safer than anywhere else in the world. The children would be okay. Until the day came that the school had been infiltrated, they could be a peace with where they were. Hugo, Louis, Dominique, Lily – they would all be okay. It just felt like an open sore for them to be out of sight.

His eyes flicked back to the current day as he hovered a black marker over the square. Resolutely, he drew those lines over the white space and took a step back. He recapped the marker, then turned to force a smile in Scorpius' direction. "It's been a month…."

"And nothing has changed," the blonde said quietly, echoing the others inner thoughts.

Sighing, Albus set the marker aside and crawled into bed next to his lover. He curled in tightly to his chest, wanting to become one person with him. Wanting not to have to feel all this hopelessness alone. "When we first started this...everyone looked like they actually believed we could make a difference. They had solid determination to win again. But now..." He frowned, tracing a muscle line on Scorpius' pale chest. "Now they all look lost. And tired. And...grey. Like failing is a disease and they've all caught it. They've all come to the conclusion that we have to give up."

It was true. The meetings lately were more like long patches of silence than anything anymore. It was uncomfortable and eerie. The desperation soaked the walls.

"Except for you. You're...radiating lately. I don't know if it's our little secret hope or...or what. But you don't look gaunt like the others." There was almost a rare smile on Scorpius' lips as he looked over Albus' face. He looked healthy and beautiful. Like maybe deep down he knew the Order was giving up for nothing.

Before he could stop it, Albus let out a disbelieving snort. He didn't feel radiant at all. If anything, he felt like being cooped up in this house for so long was making him sick. His stomach was always turning and something felt...off inside. "Oh, shut up, you," he muttered and closed his eyes, still nuzzling in to the man's secure chest.

Shaking his head, Scorpius reached over and flicked his wand at the lights. They turned off and the room was thrown into darkness except for the minimal beam of moonlight streaming through the window. The two men could no longer see one another, but it almost felt better this way. Albus pulled himself up to his pillow, but kept his arms secure around Scorpius' bare waist. He had to keep a hold on him somehow. He needed to know that he wasn't alone.

That's what he was most terrified of now, he'd come to realize.

"I love you," Al said under his breath, but he knew the other man would hear it. He had to say it before they fell asleep every night. Or before they tried to. Merlin knew they were always knackered. But most nights the heavenly bliss of slumber eluded them. When each moment of sleep contained a nightmare, it put a person off a little bit.

Scorpius never responded back to this proclamation but for a soft kiss to his boyfriend's hair. He would hold him securely, running his fingers though those messy black locks. He was always soothing, always comforting. So far, Albus hadn't found himself lacking for a single thing. It was a blessing in such dark times.

"I found the name Syphe today."

Feeling he'd almost heard wrong, Albus sat up a little bit. Maybe he'd started to doze off? They couldn't have actually made any sort of breakthrough. Could they? "Um…. You did?" he questioned, biting his lip and wishing he could see the other's face. He needed to know that this was genuine. Tone was not enough.

With a soft chuckle, Scorpius squeezed the man just a little bit tighter. "Yes, I did. Though I'm not sure how much help it's going to be." He removed his fingers from Al's hair and scrubbed them roughly through his own. He was frustrated. They had come closer and yet…it seemed what he'd found might be practically useless. "I found a Camdon Syphe. In a book of poetry, of all things. Your sister left it behind in the sitting room. I flipped through and wouldn't you know…there it was. It was quite a…homoerotic piece, I must say." He gave a small burst of a laugh and started to speak in almost a rehearsed fashion.

"If I ever begin to tire of the heart you have offered me, remind me with just a simple touch. One caress of your lips against my sensitive skin is all I need. One touch of your fingers to my aching desire is all you need offer. One submission and one backwards glance filled with your intense passion is more satisfying that the release you provide…."

Albus shifted uncomfortably and pulled the blankets tight against his chin. He didn't like it. It was…just as Scorpius had said – erotic. Maybe it was love or maybe it was lust. Either way, he felt dirty just listening to his lover speak aloud the words. "I wouldn't say…that he's gay just from that…."

"Oh, it goes into more detail from there. All throbbing cocks and swallowed love and whatnot." If Scorpius sensed any of the other's uncomfortableness, he didn't let on. "Besides, his short bio before the poem said that he lived with his husband in France. And I think that is pretty straight forward…."

A deep frown began to etch into Al's face. He looked in the dark up at the blonde, desperate to see something. Desperate to make sure this conversation was real. It seemed…put on, almost. Why would his sister be reading poetry like that? "That's…ridiculous. And slightly disturbing. I'm also not exactly sure how that is remotely helpful to us…."

"I find it to be romantic. He loves this man so much that he wants to share this intimate act with the world." Scorpius shrugged, running his hands down the sides of Albus' body. Touching the most sensitive areas of him for just a fraction of a second. Enough to excite slightly. "But I wouldn't expect you to understand…. My innocent love." The smirk was tangible in the darkness. "It isn't all that helpful, though. The only thing that I got from it was the exact town in which this man lives. But I don't feel like knocking on every single door in Marseille to find someone who might not even be able to help us. So…for now, it's back to the books tomorrow."

Albus heard every word that was said, but he was hung up on a particular part of it. "I am not innocent, Scor. We have had sex, you know." His words were tinged with a slight tone of hurt. Like he'd been burned and it stung far worse than expected.

"I hardly count that," Scorpius hissed in reply. His words were like a slap across the face. "You were hardly responsive and it was just a longing for any sort of comfort and closeness. Isn't that why we've been avoiding that sort of step in our relationship? Won't it just remind us of that miserable moment?"

Silence was all that followed. Albus wasn't even sure what to say back to that. He had a point, as harsh as it was. Those few moments had been nothing but a lustful need to be filled with anything but sadness. And yet…that was how he had lost his virginity. It was the day he had become a real man. How did that not count?

It was nearly a half hour before he could think of anything to say. Even then, it wasn't exactly enlightening. He whispered quietly, pulling out of the arms around him and whispered, "Goodnight." His feelings were hurt, as was the minimal pride he might have left. He couldn't argue back because he didn't know how.

Their intimate act hadn't counted. It wasn't beautiful or anything to be desired. It wasn't special enough for anyone to write poetry about.

It was just…empty.

Little pleasures were always something to be celebrated lately. Most often, that fell upon birthdays. The Potter/Weasley clan had many in the fall months and it was easy to take time away from war talk to acknowledge them.

Today was little Remi's birthday. She was turning five and took every chance she was handed to remind everyone of this. She was a big girl now and deserved to be treated as such. Even though Albus had caught her with her finger in her nose just minutes after being told this.

There was a smile on Albus' lips today. He was actually, truly happy to take in the sight of the girly, glittery decorations around the kitchen and the cake that was enchanted to play music as it sparkled and the little ballerina atop twirled. This was a welcome distraction. He needed this to keep his mind off of just how useless everything still was.

Two and a half weeks had passed since the poem had been discovered and he and Scorpius were still no closer to finding Catari Syphe. If they could leave Grimmauld Place or send a letter, this would be so much easier. But the books in the library were all filled with everything but answers. They had been through most twice with just as little luck as the first read. The only thing they had was that poem…. And no matter how many times they scanned it together, they couldn't pull a single answer out of it.

The Order was still striking out, as well. They hoped they had come across an information breakthrough nearly a week ago, but their source turned out to be wrong. The location of the Death Eater attack was in another town with a slightly different name. The result was making it to the correct location late, their attempt at a surprise turnout was spoilt, and they suffered from being shorthanded against the massive thrall of men in black cloaks.

And one woman….

Near the end of the short battle - just as everyone was being backed into a corner, curses just barely being blocked in time – this woman, the same crazed one from Harry's memorial, had stepped out of the pack of black and thrown her hood off. When she threw the curse, no one was quite sure who she was aiming at. She had a way of…looking at every member at once. Seeing into every single one of theirs souls and sensing what they were soft for.

In the end, this Vega woman chose to exploit the worried glance Arthur Weasley made towards his children. The easier to access in a moment's impulse was George. She sent the unknown curse at him without even so much as a flinch to her features. That maniacal grin never left her lips as the group hurried to grab onto the fallen man. Rushed to stave the blood flow while disapparating in desperation. Any hope of even trying to win there was totally forgotten.

Albus wasn't there. He and Scorpius were told to stay behind for their safety. Direct fights against Death Eaters could be dangerous for them. They had complained about it then, but in hindsight it was a small blessing. This whole ordeal was a good reminder that this was real. That if they kept getting involved….

George was alive, though. He had managed to hang on through the blood loss from the sizable gash on his neck. Just barely.

Currently he was in a charmed coma upstairs, struggling for every breath. His wife Angelina never left his side but for the use of the restroom. She was distraught and his children were silent. They were all scared. Fred wandered around the house like a hapless spirit. The short, untelling letters from Roxanne sounded hollow.

Every half hour, Teddy would disappear up to that room to run checks on the man. He was desperate to not lose another member of his family. They all were. And if they had the Healer training he did, every single one of them would be up there with him. But they didn't, and they couldn't.

And so the rest of the family preoccupied themselves with these small, happy moments. Like birthdays.

"There is so much glitter in the air…. I think I'm going to be sick."

Scorpius was snide, per usual. He didn't particularly enjoy spending time with anyone. And he had made it very clear that he didn't exactly understand the point of birthday celebrations.

"On the plus side, it makes your hair look positively angelic," Albus joked back, gently placing his hand on the middle of his boyfriend's back for just a moment. Just long enough for him to close his eyes and stave off the taste of bile. He truly was feeling sick. The last few days, there had been something gnawing at his stomach. He'd managed to hold off on heaving so far by avoiding most foods and drinking lots of tea, but tonight he had a feeling this weird illness might get the best of him.

He just had to make it through this party. He didn't want to worry anyone. It was nothing.

Opening his eyes again and taking his hand back, Albus smiled over at Scorpius. Who was staring at him with that calculating, all-knowing expression he often carried. "If you're feeling unwell…wouldn't it be best to lie down upstairs?" he asked cautiously. His tone was tinged with a little bit of hope, like he would take any excuse to be away from here.

Albus shook his head back and forth quickly, laughing the matter off and taking a step away. "What are you talking about? I feel fine!" His words were sincere and almost sounded convincing, but the fact that his skin tone was almost the same shade as his lover was enough to call question to what he said.

But Scorpius wasn't exactly one for sentiment. He shrugged and leaned back against the wall, trying to blend in with it and disappear. No doubt he would remain in this position for the rest of the festivities if he was able.

"Alby come help me blow out my candles!

For the moment, Albus allowed himself to forget about Scorpius and the sulky man's enjoyment. He wasn't likely to have fun anywhere, he'd decided. Why try and go out of his way for no result? He laughed along with the giggling, grinning girl and followed her over to the table. She stared at the cake, filled with the kind of glee only a child could have. She had no idea of the dangers lurking outside her door. She knew nothing of the war going on or why her daddy kept disappearing upstairs every thirty minutes.

All this little girl cared about was that she was another year closer to being a 'big girl' like all of the others. She felt special today, as she should have.

Albus settled into a chair next to Remi, watching her and becoming lost in just how…innocent she was. How her presence was miraculously just the right thing to keep everyone sane and grounded. She was necessary to keep light in any conversation in this house.

She was what they were fighting for, essentially.

Albus was extremely blessed that he and his siblings, his cousins, his friends had never grown up with a war on. They had never had to deal with the stress of losing anyone at a moment's notice. That had all been thanks to his father. Harry Potter had ensured a safe childhood for them. And it was their duty to do the same for their future children in his absence.

Swallowing hard, he closed his eyes to stave off tears. He wasn't quite sure why he was going to cry. He just felt…emotional. He couldn't pinpoint why exactly, but that didn't matter. Right now crying in front of this happy birthday girl would do no one good. He needed to stop the tears before they came.

"What should I wish for, Alby?" He opened his eyes to see the girl's slightly gold-tinged brown ones staring him down. Her smile had faded slightly and she looked almost wistful.

For a long moment, Albus stayed silent. He thought his answer over long and hard, his face contorted adorably. In the end, however, he grinned back at the blonde beauty and whispered his answer. Her eyes lit up upon hearing it and she quickly turned to look at the cake. Victoire had just finished lighting the candles and nodded encouragingly towards her daughter.

The tears were harder to keep at bay, now. Quickly, as Remi leaned in with a large breath of air in her cheeks, Albus stood up from the table and snuck through the gathered family members. He left the kitchen, running up the stairs as fast as he could while still being quiet. Once he reached the quiet entryway, he allowed himself to break. He collapsed onto the floor, head in his hands and just sobbed like a child.

He was still unsure of what he was crying over, but he knew now that it meant a lot. This raw emotion he was feeling was important, for some reason.

After a few minutes, he became aware of another person standing beside him. He could hear the soft, lazy breathing. Whoever it was took no time to comfort him. And that could have only been one person.

"What did you tell her?" Scorpius asked, more curious than concerned. He knelt down beside his boyfriend, placing the most placid of hands on Al's knee.

With a sniffling chuckle, Albus looked up. Green met steely grey and they understood each other. Even though Scorpius wasn't outwardly affectionate, he still cared somewhere deep down. If he didn't, he wouldn't be at his side now. He fell sideways into his boyfriend, enjoying the pure energy coursing between them as those strong arms encircled him. Calming his tears and reassuring his rapidly beating heart enough for him to answer.

"Wish for happily ever after."