Episode: The Last Recruit

V.

The gun in Sayid's left hand feels more like an extension of his arm than a separate piece of machinery and he grips it preciously like it means something. He gazes down the well and into darkness. Desmond. Without even a flinch he targets the barrel downward towards the Scotsman's face, which is inversely craned upward. His eyes are similar to the gun; blank and unforgiving.

Desmond sighs like he's had enough. "So what did he offer ya?"

No expression. "What?"

"If you're gonna shoot me in cold blood brother," his voice is fatigued but biting, "I think I have a right to know what you're getting in exchange for it."

For the first time since his death he feels a creeping doubt. Not a complete sensation but an unease. He hasn't blown the Scotsman away yet and it bothers him. There's something in Desmond's words that makes Sayid feel compelled to reply.

"He told me... I could get back something that I lost."

"And what did you lose?"

Sayid grits his teeth. The memory is becoming real to him and it's confusing, for only those who are alive have memories.

"The woman I loved."

Desmond cocks his head and scoffs. "And where is she now?"

"Dead." It hurts. It shouldn't hurt, but an undeniable pain sears through his fists and he grips the steel tighter. It hurts like hell but it's a good feeling. A human feeling.

"What makes you think that Locke can bring her back?" There's an absurdity in Desmond's voice.

"I died," he weakly confesses, "and he brought me back."

The strange feeling lingers like a guilt. If he's supposed to be dead than why now is this pain tormenting him? I AM dead, he tells himself, and Locke brought me back and he will bring her back. But why can't he believe it. As the memory of the woman grows more real so does the reality. She died. We had our time together and she died.

The Scotsman can sense a doubt hanging between them. "What will you tell her?"

Sayid looks down, not mechanically this time but intentionally. His eyebrows are pushed together and his expression resembles a human, a tormented but living human.

"What do you mean?" His finger isn't even on the trigger.

"This woman," Desmond replies, "when she asks you what you did to be with her again... what will you tell her?"

There should be a thick tension hovering in the air but there isn't. Neither of them needs to say more and Sayid doesn't respond. They both already know the outcome.