I sat down at a table in the cafeteria with Spencer, nervously drumming on the smooth surface.
"Just go over to him! I'll be right here if you need me." Spencer smiled, pushing me to go.
"I can't just go over to him! What am I going to say?" I exclaimed shocked that she could say such a thing.
"Just te-" Spencer began before getting cut off by Aria.
"Why are you sitting with vermin?" The petite girl exclaimed, flanked by Hanna and Emily. Hanna nodded in agreement, while Emily gave me a sad smile. She always was the nicest.
"Now that's not fair. Don't talk about Spencer like that!" I laughed, placing a consoling arm around Spencer. In response I got a pointed glare from Hanna and Aria. "Sorry, I'll leave. Live out my nightmare." I walked away from the table, going to talk to him. To Mike. I knew it was going to be horrible.

"What was that? Friends with the ho now?" Hanna angrily asked as the three sat around the table, ready to ambush Spencer.
"She's not a ho anymore. Look, she's wearing her normal designer attire, not cheerleading gear." Spencer sighed, not bothered to have this argument. She had tried the previous night to tell the trio that Nikita was a good person, but without Blake and Caleb present it was a losing fight.
"She better not be going up to Mike, oh I swear to God!" Aria exclaimed, clearly furious.
"Aria leave her! She's trying to make amends." Spencer softly replied, regretting telling Nikita to apologize before the girls were on her side.
"She's going to break his heart all over again. I'm not letting her do that." Aria bounded out of her seat, taking one long stride before Emily caught her by the wrist.
"Sit down." Emily ordered, a stern face to match a stern voice. Aria obliged, a sheepish look on her face.
"Aria, Hanna, I want you to listen to me. You need to get over yourselves and accept Nikita's apology. She was not bullshitting us. You heard what Spencer said, you heard that your boyfriend's have accepted her apology. Why can't you? Look at her! She's not a fake cheerleader anymore, we have Nikita back. Don't push her away." Emily expressed. Not wanting to listen to Aria and Hanna's petty arguments any longer she sauntered off, ready to find Paige. The three girls stared at Emily's back in awe.

I took a shaky step forward and then another. I couldn't do this. I felt confident walking up to Mike, but now that I was only a few feet away I seemed frozen in place. I could see that he was smiling, laughing. The small creases around his eyes showing he was happy. I couldn't go through with this. I couldn't hurt him anymore than I already had. No, I had to talk to him. I had to let him know the truth, no matter how hard it was. I closed my eyes and made up the distance between us. When my eyes shot open he was staring back at me, like I was the enemy. Which I guess I was.
"Can we talk?" I intended my voice to be strong and confident, but all that came out was a small whisper. Mike looked at me as if I had three heads. I attached my left hand to the opposite elbow, rubbing the smooth skin. I looked at the three others at the table, Caleb, Jesse and Noel. I was reminded there was one other person I had to apologize to, having already done so with Jesse. He was definitely the easiest to apologize to, second being Tom. That was one thing that family was good for, accepting my apology based on blood ties.
"Please." I whispered, realizing I wanted more than anything to hear his voice. To feel his touch on my skin, not even sexually, just his presence. I needed him to say something, to do something, but he just continued to stare at me as if I was an alien.
"I...I just need to apologize." I stuttered looking down at the ground, knowing that I could not return his gaze.
"No." Mike simply said before returning to his lunch, his friends. I exhaled a breath I didn't realize I was holding and shook my head. I would be apologizing to Mike today, I had to let him know the truth. I placed my hand on his shoulder, ready to make him turn to me, when suddenly he was standing in front of me.
"Do not touch me! You lost that right a long time ago!" Mike harshly said making me pull my hand back to my elbow.
"I'm sorry," My voice was barely audible, I was surprised that Mike could hear me, "I need to talk to you, please." I could hear the desperation in my voice, the begging quality, and felt stupid.
"Why? Why now?" Mike was an inch away from me now, the last time we had been this close we...no. I hated to think about it, think about him. Nikita Taylor did not miss people. She couldn't let people close enough to her, because this would happen. I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out. I wasn't prepared for that question, I wasn't prepared to talk to him this publicly.
"That's what I thought. Because Spencer caught you out. She found out you were still you, and you can't pretend anymore! Well you know what Nikita? I've known that you weren't that cheerleader for months. I've been trying to reach you for months, so you can go to hell!" Mike stormed out of the cafeteria after shooting me a blow to the heart. I collapsed into his seat, unable to hold myself up for a moment longer. How could he just leave me with that? Was he too selfish to have one stupid conversation with me? That was unfair, I'm the selfish one for asking for a conversation. Couldn't he have just, I don't know, tried?

"Hey sis, you okay?" Jesse gingerly asked from behind me and I slowly turned to face him. I knew he could see how broken, how vulnerable I was. Emotions I chose to never show, but I couldn't find the energy to care.
"Um...y-yeah, I mean yes. Great." I stuttered almost forgetting how to speak. I felt, I wanted...the truth was I had no idea if I was okay. I had no idea what I wanted. I was just numb.
"Can I at least apologize to you Noel?" I sighed expecting to be shut down. I hadn't done anything to deserve his time at all, so why would he have a different response than Mike.
"Yeah. Yeah, let's go, find an empty classroom or somewhere more private." Noel replied, reading my mind. I smiled to myself, what had I done to get somebody like Noel in my life? So ready to accept me, no matter what I had done to fuck up. We walked in silence until we entered a rarely used media studies classroom, where we both sat down. Tucking my legs underneath me, I sat perfectly in the middle of an old desk, Noel sitting in front of me.
"I'm sorry. For everything. I haven't been a good friend, a good person to you, at all. I am so sorry about that." I quickly blurted out, adding a million other different ways of saying sorry. I had to let at least one person know that I was sorry for how I had treated them, and that person was going to be Noel. As I was apologizing, Noel said my name a few times, probably to get me to shut up, but I pushed through. I had to make sure that Noel understood how sorry I was, and the only emotion I felt was sorrow, so there would be a lot of apologizing.
"Niki, Nikita." Noel tried to get me to shut up once more, but realizing he had failed he stood up. I cocked my head to the side, slightly confused, but didn't close my mouth. It was like I had forgotten how to stop talking. In one swift movement Noel's hands were slightly cupping my cheeks, and his mouth was lightly pressed on mine. It was efficient at shutting me up which I guess was his motive, but him kissing me also made my heart beat a million times faster than it already was, and made me want more of him. When the kiss deepened, his mouth opening up with mine, as his tongue slipped past my lips, another voice became clear in my head. This voice told me to get my hands off of Noel's chest, to get my tongue out of his mouth, to get my lips off of his, because of Mike. I attempted to pull back, but my want for Noel got the better of me and I pressed myself closer to him, wrapping my legs around his waist and throwing my arms around his neck, weaving my fingers through his hair. Noel responded to this by further deepening the kiss, picking me up and pushing me against the wall. I knew what I was doing was wrong, that I would regret this as soon as it was over, but my lust was getting the better of me. I shrugged off my blazer, letting it fall to a clump on the ground. Noel suddenly broke our kiss, and I momentarily forgot who I was, where I was. Kisses never had this effect on me, making me forget everything, yet here I was. Noel started on making a trail of kisses down my neck that I knew were going to leave a mark, not that I cared. I tightened my legs around Noel as he took his hands off the small of my back and began unbuttoning my shirt. As he was doing this I remembered who I was, what I was doing here with Noel, no matter how much my brain told me to stop, my body seemed to want more. Noel slid my top off and I almost giggled as he stopped to take in the site of my caramel torso, a lacy white bra holding my milky breasts. Noel tore his gaze away, hungrily kissing me, before placing me on top of a desk and walking away.

"Where do you think you are going?" I giddily asked, shocked that he was going to leave me in this state. I knew my hair looked disgusting so I pulled it out of its pony, hoping that it would look better falling in a soft wave down my back. I could feel my lipstick smudged over my mouth and attempted to clean it up in vain.
"I'm definitely not going anywhere." Noel replied, admiring me from his place next to the door. I watched as he closed the door, locking it and pulling the curtain over the small window. Lucky this was a media room I guess. I softly giggled as I walked over to Noel. Standing on my tip toes I caught his upper lip, chastely giving him a close mouth kissed, but this gentleness didn't last long. Soon enough my legs were wrapped around Noel's hips, my back lying on one of the many desks, hands tearing off Noel's top. Once I had finally put my effort into getting the thing over his head, instead of running my hands along the ridges of his torso, the top landed near my blouse and Noel's lips covetously kissed mine, regaining all the passion and more from earlier on. I felt my need for more of him, for my own exploring of his half-naked body, but I couldn't find the will power to tear his lips off of mine. By this point, all of my senses had been thrown out the window and there was only one thing I wanted: Noel. I arched my back in attempts to lessen the distance between our skin and in response Noel shifted his attention lower down. With soft kisses on the hollow of my neck, Noel unclasped my bra releasing the soft mounds on my chest. Noel's hands worked their way up my waist, making me almost desperate for his touch. Just as he was about to reach my chest the end of lunch bell rang, and I jumped away from him. All my senses rushing back to me in a flood of panic. I scrambled for my clothing, messily pulling it on all the while ignoring Noel's questions.
"Sorry, that shouldn't have happened. We shouldn't have let that happen." I finally muttered doing the last button on my blouse.
"Hay Niki. It's fine. Just talk to me." Noel had made up the distance between us, cupping my chin with his soft hand, tilting my head upwards to look him directly in the eye. Why did he have to be a gentleman? Couldn't he have gotten angry, stormed out, put a shirt on?
"We can't do this Noel. Not like this. Not..." I trailed off, lost in his stunning eyes, but also not wanting to finish my sentence.
"Not while you're still in love with Mike," I went to protest, but Noel continued, "don't worry. I get it, you chose Mike the first time and you'll choose him again. I just wished you hadn't let us get this far." Noel stormed out of the classroom, leaving me to deal with my guilt. I spotted Noel's top in the corner and picked it up, looking in to the corridor he was already gone. My phone vibrated, discarded on a chair, and I picked it up. Inhaling a breath when I saw the sender.

Unknown sender:
Tut tut, naughty slut. Don't think you got away from me because you stopped being a pretty little liar - A

I shakily opened the attached video, watching the ordeal between Noel and I from when he first kissed me. Someone had been in the classroom, watching us. I quickly looked around the room, but saw nothing. Looking under the teacher's desk I found another note. A clearly anticipating me looking underneath.

Too late hunny! Wonder how Noel would feel about you taping your little encounter. Bet it wouldn't compare to how Mike would feel - A