"So you are telling me that A has nothing to do with me being in here?" I quietly asked trying to put the pieces together. It never once crossed my mind that A would be the lesser of two evils, that it would be someone else ruining my life. How was that fair? It seemed like at every turn I was faced with another obstacle, another thing getting in the way of my happiness, my life.

"Mr. Gerald kidnapped you that night. As much as I hate to say it, A helped us find you. A isn't to blame this time round." Hanna sadly smiled, exchanging looks with the other three girls.

"Why? Why would A help?" The girls shrugged, clearly frustrated with the situation, "A bullies us and plots against us and ruins us, but this time they decided to find me. To save me. What the fuck?"

"Maybe A doesn't like sharing." Aria replied, laughing pathetically. I raised my eyebrow, not sure what she was getting at.

"Aria's right. A needs to be in control and those weeks you were gone, they weren't in control. A wants to be the one we fear, the one that destroys us and Mr Gerald took away that power." Spencer explained, connecting the dots in all of our heads.

"I-I, um, what, how, is he in jail?" I stuttered, terrified by the thought that Mr Gerald isolated me for weeks, disgusted by the thoughts of what he did to me. Realizing that A had nothing to do with my "incident" as the nurses put it made the fact that it was Mr Gerald hit me like a ton of bricks. He was out of my life when I left New York. He stayed out when I ensured he wouldn't teach at Rosewood Day. Yet he was the one that hurt me? Nothing seemed to make sense.

"He had his trial this morning. He's been put away for life. Not just for what he did in the past few weeks, but for what happened in New York. Normally the charges would be dropped for New York but I guess our principal really did tell the cops, they were already developing a case." Emily squeezed my hand reassuringly, but I couldn't help but feel a pang of panic shoot through me.

"Wh-what? They know about New York? My brothers? Do they know? Emily, tell me that no one knows." The girls exchanged a look and I knew that the information had been revealed. This was going to kill them. Jesse looked up to Mr Gerald, he loved him, and now? Now Mr Gerald was a monster in their eyes, how could I let things get so bad?

"I'm sorry Niki." Emily whispered, sorrow bleeding into her eyes.

"It's not your fault. I just...shit. I was trying to shelter them from all this you know? Shelter you guys. I guess A will be happy that my secret is out though. No more lies. That reminds me, do you guys happen to know where my phone is? The police didn't get it or anything?" I expressed all my thoughts as they crossed through my mind, hopefully the girls understood what I was saying.

"That's what you're worried about here? Your phone?" Aria laughed, a sound contagious to us all. It was nice to hear this room filled with laughter after such a depressing conversation. No one really wants to hear about the kidnapping that their memory has done a brilliant job at suppressing.

"Shut up, you all know my phone is my life." I laughed, throwing a ball of paper at Aria, who poked her tongue back in retaliation.

"I mean they found you're phone, but it doesn't exactly do it's job anymore." Spencer answered my question and I couldn't help the feeling of disappointment. See my phone was something I genuinely missed. Did that make me a bad person?

"See Aria, that is how you answer a question. You should be taking notes."

"Why do you need your phone so bad anyway? I'm pretty sure everyone in Rosewood knows where you are." Hanna queried knowing there was more to my request. Stupid Hanna.

"I guess you're right, Blake's bringing me my laptop anyway so that will at least give me contact with the world outside these four walls." I laughed faintly, purposefully avoiding her question. She shot an eyebrow up, pressing me for a response.

"Well if you must know I was just kinda sorta wondering, just a bit, if Mike had called. I mean, he just hasn't come to see me or anything so yeah. It's stupid really." I mumbled, avoiding the gaze of the four girls. For some reason unbeknown to me, Mike seemed to be an uneasy topic of conversation. It was weird, every time I mentioned his name everyone went all weirdly silent as if I had asked to video chat with the dead.

"I keep forgetting she doesn't remember anything past that night." Hanna whispered to the girls, and I wondered what they were keeping from me.

"I mean I'm probably being stupid, but Aria do you mind, I don't know, asking him to come visit? I don't want to be like weird or anything, but..." I trailed off, toying with the fabric of a sweater Blake had bought for me. That child was an angel. The clothes he found in my closet were perfect, considering he knew nothing about fashion I was beyond impressed.

"I'll ask when I see him next." Aria tightly smiled and I wondered what she was hiding, what conversation everyone was avoiding.

"Twenty dollars says he'll be here tomorrow." Hanna announced and I laughed, while the others shot her don't-be-insensitive looks.

"I like your optimism. I'll bet on Friday, give him a few days to ignore my request for him to come then a day to realize he's being an idiot." I shot back, eager to have something to be involved in, even as simple as this bet.

"You're both wrong. Mike may be a stubborn idiot but it's you we're talking about, he'll be here Wednesday." Aria shrugged, pulling a twenty out of her purse and placing it on my bed, causing Hanna and I to add our own bill.

"But that's in three days, how does the fact that it is Nikita not make him a stubborn idiot?" Emily asked, voicing our confusion.

"He'll always be an idiot, the fact that it's Niki will make him a lot less stubborn." Aria laughed, and I rolled my eyes. She was probably right, he was an idiot. But he was my idiot.

"What are your bets?" I asked Spencer and Emily, who both looked reluctant to be pulled into our game. "You have to bet or I'm kicking you out indefinitely."

"When are you planning on telling Mike, Aria?" Spencer asked, probably so she could make exact calculations.

"I think she should call him now so it's fair. Cause if she doesn't see him till Tuesday, then Hanna has no chance, right?" I added, and Aria pulled her phone out of her bag.

"You better have put a bet in by the time I get back." Aria said pointing at Emily who looked unsure about the situation.

"You don't think he's coming, do you?" I asked Emily knowing that it was true.

"I'm sorry Nikita. I don-" Emily began before I interrupted.

"Hay that means you're betting on never. Put a twenty in the pile." I forced a laugh, hoping she wouldn't feel guilty. I must have fucked up badly if she thought this. Emily gave me a small smile and added a $20 to the pile.

"So it's Sunday today, Mike's an idiot but he loves you, I give it half an hour. Depending on traffic." Spencer spoke, breaking the slight tension in the room. I smiled broadly at her, thankful to hear such a kind bet. Aria came back into the room shaking her head as Spencer added her money to the pile.

"So what are the final bets?" She asked, fiddling her phone between her hands.

"Spencer thinks today, I say tomorrow, you've got Wednesday, Niki Friday and Emily thinks he's a no-show." Hanna replied, grabbing the pile of money and placing it under a vase that sat on a table near my bed.

"I guess all we can do is wait." I shrugged, rearranging myself on the bed. Great...more waiting. Just cause we placed bets doesn't mean he's going to come any faster, I reminded myself.

"Give the money to Spencer, he's on his way now. We're leaving apparently." Aria rolled her eyes, clearly disappointed with having lost the bet, considering it was her brother, her own flesh and blood. I guess he was the guy I loved, I should have thought more of him.

"That's right bitches." Spencer laughed, causing us to shake our heads. I couldn't help the feeling of elation, the joy, when I said good-bye to the girls knowing that Mike would be here so soon. I may have been reprimanded for being so happy to see them leave, but I couldn't wait to see Mike. I hadn't realized how much I had truly missed him, how much I needed him. I guess he felt the same, even if he was the one who had stayed away.

"Why do you look like all your Christmases and birthdays came at once?" The fine young male nurse (which I had shortened to FYM) asked as he did his hourly check of all my levels and the machines and things I didn't care to find out about. I hated hospitals and had no interest in finding out what any one machine was meant for.

"Because they have." I giggled knowing that Mike was sure to be here in less than ten minutes.

"It's good seeing you this happy, I'm glad they let you have visitors." He smirked, writing notes onto my chart.

"Are you really? Because you made me suffer some awfully tedious conversations when it was family only." I replied, questioning if he what he said was true. It was fun having a friendly relationship with him, I was so bored in here.

"If you complain once more about the list of names from Grandma Harrison I swear to God." He threatened, though his face did not portray that he was doing anything other than checking on levels. He didn't even crack a smile.

"Cute. Empty threats your forte huh?" I joked, lying back on my bed, hoping that Mike would be here soon. As fun as it was talking to FYM I wanted to see my boyfriend. Wow, I had become one of those desperate girls that I loved to hate. I had reached a new low. I blame it on Mike, making me into this.

"You know they're anything but empty. I have control over the food you eat in here you know that? Appreciate your diet coke while it lasts, before you know it, they'll be coke zero only." He replied, finishing his check up and strolling out of my room.

"You wouldn't!" I called after him, feeling betrayed. He knew of my deep relationship with diet coke, he surely wouldn't break that up. There was no way I would be drinking coke zero, who did he think I was?

"Um, knock knock?" I heard a familiar voice come from the doorway and my face lit up in elation.

"Mikey!" I screamed, pulling him into a tight embrace. I froze when I felt him stiff in my arms, that wasn't like Mike to not hug back.

"What's wrong?" I questioned pulling him to sit on my bed, Mike look physically pained to be here, in my presence. What was I not remembering that was so bad?

"The hospitalized asking the visitor what's wrong, that's not how things are meant to go Nikita," Mike laughed, but it sounded forced to my ears,

"Or should I say Kiki." He added the last part under his breath but it was loud and clear to my own ears.

"Kiki? Am I Kiki? No one calls me Kiki. Why are you acting so weird?" I asked grasping his hand, which he quickly retracted.

"You know I thought I'd be able to do this but I can't. I mean you really don't remember anything and I can't lie so I'm going to go. Goodbye Nikita." Mike made his way to the door before I pulled him back.

"Please. Just stay. Fill me in on the months that I'm forgetting. Tell me everything that happened, the ways I screwed up. Just please, stay." I begged with wide, vulnerable eyes.

"I-" I shut Mike off before he could protest by placing a light kiss on his lips. He blinked in surprise.

"I'm probably not the best one to fill you in." Mike shrugged taking the seat furthest away from my bed, I flinched at the rejection.

"Then tell me what you know." I tentatively smiled, thankful to at least have him in the room. Grateful that I would finally know what I couldn't remember.

An hour later I wasn't so sure that I wanted to be filled in on those blank spots in my head.

"So to sum it all up, I broke up with you because I'm a dumb bitch, became everything I hated and stand against, then Spencer was like "hey she's still her normal self" and I attempted to apologize to everyone, I just hadn't really made up with you?" I asked, disgusted with myself. I had become a cheerleader? I had broken up with Mike? I cut my brothers out of my life?

"Basically, but to be fair, I didn't call you a dumb bitch." Mike replied with a small smirk. One that I wanted to kiss off of his face, but for obvious reasons couldn't.

"You have to be talking about someone else. That doesn't sound like me, are you high?" I stared meaningfully in his eyes looking for the telltale signs, but he was clearly not.

"I guess you haven't been Nikita, you've been Kiki." He teased and I flushed red in embarrassment. All this information was good and all but I wanted to know if I had a chance with Mike. If we could reconcile. I love him, does that not count for anything?

"What about us? Did I ever get the chance to apologize?"

"Yep."

"Did you forgive me?"

"Yep."

"That's all you've got? A 'yep'. Do you even want to get back together? Do you even love me?"

"Niki, how can you even ask that?" Mike at least took the liberty look offended, I stared at him, waiting for a response. "You want to know why we're not back together? Why I couldn't take that final step?" I nodded eagerly and Mike continued bitterly. "You fucking hooked up with Noel. I mean you didn't go the full way but you might as well have. You didn't even spare me one thought. You shoved your tongue down his throat then apologized for cutting me out, didn't even save a breath between. And if that's not all, you came in on some fucking high horse when you tried to apologize. You approached me as if I hadn't been calling and texting and trying to talk to you every fucking day. You came as if Spencer had seen the error of all our ways and realized that you hadn't changed, that it was a façade, when I knew it all along. And here you are, asking if I love you, it fucking hurts. You fucking broke me Nikita."

"Oh my God! Mike I am so sorry! I don't even, I'm such a bitch. I understand if you don't want anything to do with me, I'm so sorry I hurt you that way. I'm so fucking sorry." I stared down at the covers, feeling scandalized. Why had I hurt Mike? It all sounded so horrible. That surely wasn't me, I couldn't have been so cruel. Yet I was. I was the one who broke up with him. I was the one who made out with Noel. I was the one who broke Mike's heart.

"I don't know how to make things better. Please just tell me how to fix things. I want to fix things, Mike, please." I felt the tears streaking down my face as he looked away, not saying anything.

"I'm not sure things can be fixed." Mike finally shrugged, not tearing his eyes away from a spot on the floor. Did I really mean that little to him? How could I have been so stupid?

"You're not sure it can be fixed because of how badly I fucked up, or you're not sure it can be fixed because you don't want it to be?" I quietly asked and this time he stared at me. The broken look in his eyes only made me wish that he was still staring at the floor, that was a look I couldn't deal with.

"Is there a difference?" He asked and I felt the words like a blow to my heart.

"You're not serious. I don't believe you. I was there when you told me you loved me. I was there when you said always. And now you're telling me that I'm not worth your time? I don't believe you. You're full of shit." I yelled at him, releasing a quiet sob.

"Yeah I was there when you said the same things Nikita! I was also there when you broke up with me, I was there everyday when you were sleeping round, I was there when you made out with Noel, I was there when you weren't, so do not turn this round on me. That is not fair. You don't get to do that."

"Fine! What do you want me to say? I ruined everything? I fucked up? Because I did okay! I screwed up! But at least I'm trying here, can you not even do that? Do I mean that little to you that you're willing to throw all of this away?"

"I'm willing to throw this all away? Are you kidding? You were the one who left me! You were the one who made me feel like I didn't matter for months! You were the one who made me feel like nothing when you made out with Noel! You were the one who made me feel like absolute shit when you were gone and I couldn't tell you that I loved you! That I accepted your apology and wanted you back! You were the one who left me Nikita! Why did you leave?" Mike finished on a broken sob and I felt my heart-break. I didn't realize that my being gone hurt him so deeply. I had heard what had happened before I was kidnapped, I knew how everyone felt now that they had found me and Mr Gerald was arrested, but I was oblivious to how scared they were all when I was gone. How could I have forgotten that I wasn't the only scared one? That there were other people who needed me just as much as I needed them?

"What do you want me to say Mike? That I thought about you everyday I was gone? Cause I don't know. I don't remember anything. Do you know one thing I do remember? One thing I am more sure of than anything?" I had made my way over to where Mike stood, and he stared me in the eye, as if attempting to find the answer. "I love you. There's no one else. There's nothing else I care about. So I'm asking you now if I'm what you want. Cause if I'm not then just leave. Walk away."

"And if you are what I want?" Mike murmured before pulling me into a passionate, hungry kiss. Something we had both been craving for so long. I felt before I was conscious of it that my hands had travelled underneath his shirt, exploring the smooth plane of his back. I kissed more eagerly when I heard the moan escape his lips. I relaxed against the soft material as Mike gently lowered me on to the bed, climbing on after me. I pulled him closer to me, unwilling to lose the warmth of his body, unwilling to lose his gentle yet deliberate touch. I groaned when I heard FYM and Julie coughing indignantly from the doorway. Mike pulled his lips off of mine slowly, pecking them softly and quickly as if he was enchanted by them, before we finally spared a glance at the pair.

"Really guys? Can you not see we are in the middle of something? I didn't think you would go as low as interrupting what was sure to be some hot make-up sex." I sighed as the pair just rolled their eyes, remaining in the doorway.

"Make-up sex? Nikita! You know I'm saving myself for marriage." Mike gasped, moving himself from above me to a sitting position in between my legs. I rolled my eyes letting out a light laugh before I addressed the nurses who had yet to say anything.

"Was there a reason for your visit or do you just enjoy staring at your patients for prolonged periods of time?" FYM smirked in response before throwing a coke zero on my bed.

"You did not! Julie, begone with him. I can no longer be one of his patients." I told Julie before turning to face FYM "I thought we were stronger than this. I mean, I gave you a nickname and everything."

"So you do know his name?" Julie laughed, examining Mike, as if to say what is this thing doing on my patient's bed? Where did it come from?

"Well no. FYM. Fine Young Male." I explained and everyone in the room rolled their eyes, it was creepy to say the least.

"Well you will be happy to know that you don't need to learn his name." Julie said, pulling the chart the end of my bed, ticking a few boxes and writing a few notes surely.

"He doesn't work here does he? Knew it." FYM gave me an offended look, "Come on. Look at you. Your face belongs in Vogue, not in disgusting scrubs."

"I happen to think they're flattering." He scoffed, flattening the material over his stomach.

"I happen to think you're full of bullshit."

"FYM works here, don't be stupid." Julie scoffed and I raised my eyebrow at her, "Maybe I don't know his name either. Does that make me a bad person? Probably."

"You don't know my name? I've been working here for two years." He sounded scandalized, as if he was a child who had their candy stolen from them.

"She probably keeps getting distracted by your face." I said meaningfully, it was a nice face.

"Or your abs." Mike shrugged.

"Or your biceps." I added.

"It's probably the biceps, yeah definitely the biceps." Mike replied with a smirk.

"I feel violated. I am so glad you're leaving Nikita. So so glad." FYM mumbled to himself.

"You better not be bullshitting me here, oh my god I get to leave! Mikey I get to leave." I pulled Mike into a quick kiss, before hugging the two nurses, elated with the news.

"Don't be too excited yet, we need your parents to sign your release forms first. When will they be able to do that by the way?" Julie asked and I fell back on my bed in defeat.

"Great! I'm never getting out of here."

"Stop being so melodramatic, they're out of the country. Can her brother sign them?" Mike asked Julie, oh yeah Blake could totally sign me out.

"Yeah Blake's totally a proper adult." I laughed as he and Jesse came in to my room. They always did have perfect timing.

"Why is it a point of conversation that I am an adult?" Blake asked warily looking between us four, and Julie took him by the elbow.

"I just need you to sign a few forms so we can finally be rid of her." Julie led Blake out of the room as he laughed with joy. Traitor.

"I know you love me Julie!" I called after her, letting FYM remove the sole needle from my arm. I was free of this place.

"Seriously though, I hate you." He told me with his serious face on. I poked my tongue out at him and he let out a rare laugh, strolling merrily out of the room.

"So we're finally taking Niki home. We bought this for nothing." Jesse sighed throwing a box at me.

"You got me a new phone! Jesse, you are and will always be my favourite. Don't listen to what those stupid brothers of ours say. They are so very wrong." I jumped into his arms, kissing the top of his head like I knew he hated. Jesse may have been the youngest, but he was the best. He was God sent, I would not have been surprised if he was the reborn Jesus.

"And you're my favourite sister." Jesse said back, mimicking my joyous tone.

"I'd hope so bro. I'd hope so."