"I don't ever want to leave this room." I mumbled, pulling Mike into a long, passionate, drawn out kiss.
"No food? No shower?" Mike teased, kissing me back just as eagerly.
"Nah. I'm content with just having sex." I let my hands travel down his naked torso before he grabbed my wrists, pinning them above my head.
"Well, I for one am starving, and you need to take your meds. Sex can wait." Mike pecked my nose before pulling my reluctant body off of the bed.
"Eugh, I feel like we're an old married couple. Come on Mike, let's spice up this relationship." I attempted to pull him back to the bed, but he just laughed pushing me out his bedroom door.
"Really? After that you think we need to spice up our relationship? You're terrible." Mike nuzzled his face into the slope of my neck, working on a hickey, as we descended the stairs. I sighed happily, loving the feeling of Mike's naked skin against mine.
I spun in Mike's arms as we neared the kitchen, kissing him hungrily. My aim was to distract him in hopes he would forget about my pills, pills I hated, but he kept walking, leaning me up against the counter. I could hear the pill bottle shake in his hand, as he grinned into the kiss. I heard a low cough coming from my left and looked up. As soon as I made eye contact with the perpetrator I wished I hadn't. I felt the blush rise to my cheeks, burying my head into a now groaning Mike's chest.
"I am so so naked. Why am I so naked in a room with your father?" I quietly asked Mike and felt the light laughter in his chest.
"I could ask the same question Nikita. Care to explain Mike?" Byron's voice, although level and curt, was laced with thick anger. I felt myself pressing closer to Mike in vain attempts to disappear.
"Aren't you meant to be not here?" Mike's voice sounding lame to my own ears and I knew we were screwed. "Maybe you should go get dressed?" Mike asked me after a few quiet seconds and I took that moment to hate him for having boxers on.
"Good idea." I replied, making eye contact with a fuming Byron. What a jerk! I'm sure he had a naked girl in his room when he was in high school, no need to get angry.
"No, I think she should stay to hear this. You both clearly need to be taught the difference between right and wrong." Byron nearly shouted and I felt myself fall back against Mike, letting his hands and a tea towel cover parts that your boyfriend's father should never see.
"So no to the clothing." I tightened the thin material around my chest, cowering under Byron's scrutinizing glare.
"Dad! Talking about right and wrong while forcing a minor to stand naked in your kitchen, smooth." I knew Mike was trying to defend me, but it did not feel that way. Especially when Byron's face went tomato red.
"GET OUT!" Byron yelled at me and I took off. There was no way I was staying in there longer than necessary. I sent out a silent prayer for Mike.
Rushing into Mike's room, I quickly pulled on some underwear and the closest t-shirt I could find. I needed to be dressed, a lot more dressed. I could hear Byron yelling at Mike and felt simultaneously grateful and terrible that I did not have to be in that room. I could hear Byron scolding Mike for defying him and pursuing a relationship with me. I could hear Byron telling Mike that he should not be fucking broken goods. I could hear Byron telling Mike that he could do so much better. That Charlotte was so much better. Finally, I could hear Byron leave. When I heard the door slam the weight of his words suddenly hit me. How could a man I didn't know hate me so much? And what did he mean by Charlotte? The girl Mike had repeatedly turned down was no contestant for his heart? Was she?
"I am so sorry about that. I promise if I knew he was going to be here-" Mike started, pulling me into a hug before I shrugged him off.
"It's not your fault." I said, offering his hurt look a broken smile. Cause that's what I was right? Broken.
"Then why are you acting like this? Babe, talk to me." He caressed my cheek with a soft hand and I leaned into it, leeching off his warmth.
"D-Did you sleep with her?" My voice sounded weak and strangled to my own ears, but the look in Mike's eyes was what made me flinch. I knew his answer without needing his response.
"It's not like that Niki. Let me explain." Mike made to take my hand in his, but I pulled away, packing my stuff into my bag. Stuff that had been here for months. I didn't want to have to come in here again.
"It's never like that, is it? There's always some bullshit explanation. I just don't know if I want to hear yours."
"Are you seriously saying that? I listened to your bullshit excuse after you made out with Noel."
"Because everything comes back to that, doesn't it? You know what I'll make this easier on you. You go back to her, do whatever you want! I'll leave, just like you've always wanted."
"That's bullshit! I slept with her when I thought you were gone forever, after Noel!"
"God, I cannot believe you! You think that sleeping with her when I was getting fucking abused and whatever else is going to make me feel better? Cause it doesn't. Not at all."
"That's not what I meant and you know it!"
"You're so full of shit. You come in on some fucking high horse saying you were the one who cared about me and that I was doing the fucking worst thing by making out with Noel. You must have thought you were such a fucking fantastic human being cause you believed that I was the girl you knew for those months. God, and then when I practically threw myself at Noel, when I let him touch me, you must have absolutely hated me, but at least you could stay on your high horse. At least you could get angry at me for that. I may have been in the hospital and not remembered jack shit, but at least you could hold that above me! You could be the better person. You know what Mike? You are just as bad as me! When I was missing you jumped into bed with the person who would hurt me the most. So please, do not give me some bullshit about how you were hurting cause I have heard that. I have been the one saying it. It's a fucking crappy lie."
"So you're saying that what happened between Noel and you was not a matter of convenience? That you lied?"
"You really want to know the truth about that day Mike? About Noel and I. Well sit down cause I am about to give you a fucking recount." Mike sat down with an abashed look on his face. "After you stormed out I fucking collapsed because, as it turns out, I actually did give a shit, but whatever. You didn't want to hear that. Jesse asked if I was alright so I fucking lied saying I was fine or whatever and that I needed to apologize to Noel. In private. Not cause I'm a fucking slut, but the girls were glaring daggers in my back and that can make apologies uncomfortable. Anyway we got into a random class and I sat down before listing out every apology in the book. I told him I was a shitty friend, a shitty person, everything."
"Sounds like you were pretty desperate for his forgiveness." Mike sneered.
"I was. Not his forgiveness, but I was fucking desperate for forgiveness. I bet myself up enough, I didn't need everyone else to. Anyway details, details. I will get back to my story. Where was I? Right! I must have been rambling what ever, and I could hear Noel telling me to shut up but that wasn't going to bode well with me, I was fucking apologizing, so he kissed me. There was no subtext or anything behind it, just a kiss from Noel. But there I was, little old desperate me, and I guess Noel had feelings or whatever so I deepened it. Hate me all you want, but it gets worse. So at that point there were two fucking voices in my head. One saying yes get your sex on with Noel, he's hot. The second reminding me of you, and that I cared about you. But whatever, I'm a shitty person. So I threw myself at him, locked my limbs around his neck and waist and he held me against the wall. Pulled our tops off, had a few body kisses, before he dumped me on a desk and walked off. I felt so alone, and like shit, but I guess he locked the door and came back. See he had to lock the door, there was no pre-thought out plan. More making out, bra removed and then the bell rang. I realized that I was being a slutty ho-bag, and Noel got really pissed when I told him I stopped because I was still in love with you. I guess you know the rest." I finished on a broken note, sounding significantly less angry than when I began. I really shouldn't have told Mike all that, did I hate him that much?
"Was that meant to make me or you feel better?" Mike finally asked. I couldn't read the emotion on his face and all of a sudden I felt very vulnerable, more naked than I had been moments ago in front of his father.
"I don't know. Neither? I guess now you know the truth and whatever you want to get angry at me for is completely justified." I let the sentence hang in the air as Mike watched me with that same unreadable expression on his face.
"I didn't feel anything when I slept with Charlotte." Mike finally said and I felt a heavy weight lift off my chest, "I didn't feel anything at all when you were gone. I didn't trust myself to feel. I couldn't deal with it if you had just left, if you had just given up. When we found out that you were missing, that you hadn't just left, all I could feel was anger. I was angry with everything. I took my anger out on all the wrong people. I did a lot of stupid things. But I never let myself think about you. Never. I didn't know how without breaking." A heavy silence hung in the room as we absorbed the information spat out in the past few minutes. Information that neither of us needed to hear. Neither of us wanted to hear. Information that only hurt. My eyes darted around the room, drinking in everything apart from Mike. I could feel his gaze on me. Sizing me up. But I couldn't bring myself to meet his stare. To see the shattered look behind his beautiful eyes. Soon Mike broke the growing tension in a voice so calm and placid that it sounded eerie in a room filled with so much tension.
"So you remember making out with Noel? Anything else or was that just a prominent moment for you?"
"Fuck you." I spat. I knew it was immature and I should have just answered the question, but I was angry. Angry at him. Angry at the situation. Angry that I didn't remember enough. Angry with what I did remember. It was easier to avoid the question than to admit the truth.
"Let me rephrase that. Are you starting to get your memory back? That's great!" His voice was laced with thick sarcasm and spite that I almost wanted to lie. Say anything I could to hurt him, but I felt too weak. As if it would require far too much effort.
"Yeah. I guess things are still a bit hazy in lots of places. Like I don't remember Jason dying or anything, but like I guess it's come back pretty solidly between a few weeks before Spencer saw me at the grave and the night I went missing." I saw the surprise in Mike's face when I gave him an honest answer and it sent a painful pang in my heart. Did he think that little of me?
"Do you...remember that night at all?" Mike's voice was gentle and soft, a welcome change.
"I remember leaving to go to Spencer's but nothing after that. My therapist said like repressed memories and shit." My voice faded out as I finally met Mike's gaze. He looked so broken, as if all the hurt was too much.
"I really want to kiss you right now. Take away your pain." Mike breathed after a pregnant pause.
"Then do it." I surveyed his face in attempts to gauge what he was feeling, understand why he said that, but in was all in vain. He sighed, suppressing a soft grin. I felt the corners of my lips turn up in response, maybe things would be okay. I knew it was going to take a long time to earn Mike's trust back. To prove to him that I was still the girl he loved, but he was worth it. I loved him.