Chapter IX

Six months later,

Brynn Wydd, Wales

"Open your eyes, my growing son
There is hard work to be done.
Follow your father to his toil,
Bend your back and break the soil.
Who can say what you can sow,
In bitter sands."

"He's gone. I can't find him anywhere!" Heidi came barging through the doors of the cottage, loudly and breathlessly, making Alex drop the papers she was reading.

"What…?" Alex saw that Heidi was shaking and crying.

"I looked everywhere, I…even went over the hill where the hiking path is, and I can't find Max anywhere. I just left him for one minute, just for one minute, to get his mittens."

Alex bolted upright, "Heidi, slow down. What are you saying? You lost Max? I just looked out the window a minute ago and he was playing in the snow."

Heidi was still shaking, "He…he was. And then, all of a sudden I couldn't see him anymore. I looked everywhere. Oh Alex, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

"Sh…it's ok. It's not your fault. He couldn't have gone far on his own." She grabbed her winter coat and ran outside with Heidi in tow.

"Max!" They yelled his name and searched the grounds for nearly an hour, before heading back into the cottage, cold and panicked.

Alex's hands were shaking too now and Heidi was inconsolable.

"Oh my god, Alex, we have to call the police. You have to call your employer…use the phone. Tell them to call the police."

Alex shook her head and ran back outside, "Just stay here for now, I think I know who might have him."

Alex jumped into her car, barely taking the time to close the door, before pressing down hard on the gas, steering the car towards the compound at Brynn Wydd.

She stormed into Charlotte's office, ignoring the objection from the guard that stood outside.

"I'm sorry Ms.Devane, I couldn't stop her," he said apologetically as Alex brushed past him.

"That's alright. It's not your fault that my daughter has a unfortunate lack of social graces, in spite of her excellent upbringing." She turned to Alexandra with a disinterested look, "What do you want Sasha? I'm very busy."

"Where's my son?" Alex demanded. Her knees were shaking and she hoped she sounded more forceful than she felt.

"Your son is safe. Justin is taking good care of him."

The thought of that man with her gentle son made Alex shudder. "I suggest you hand him back to me right now, and, if you do, then I might be willing to forget this just happened…"

Charlotte barely glanced at Alex. She seemed more interested in the file folder in front of her.

"You'll get him back when you come back from your assignment in New York," she said calmly.

Alex walked over to Charlotte's desk and ripped the file folder from her hands, "How dare you do this? Max is off limits. That was the deal we made. I've done everything you asked of me. All your dirty, filthy jobs! I've kept my end of the bargain, and now you dare kidnap my son?"

Charlotte finally raised her head to give Alex her undivided attention; "How stupid do you take me for, Sasha? In two days you are going to travel to North America for the first time in almost three years. To New York of all places, which is only a seven-hour drive from Pine Valley. I know you are bidding your time for the perfect moment to escape and to contact Dimitri. You think that after almost three years I've become complacent? You think I don't know that everything you're doing for me is against your will? I needed some sort of insurance that you're going to come back from New York without your husband's private army on your tail."

"What makes you think I would try to run off to Pine Valley, knowing Max is here in Wales?" Alex couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her worst fears were coming true, right in front of her eyes. The control she thought she had was nothing more than an illusion.

"Like I said, when you come back from New York, you can have your little brat back."

Alex was furious, "If you don't hand Max over to me right now, you can forget about me going to New York!"

Charlotte shook her head, as if a tad annoyed. "Well then, it looks like little Max won't be seeing his Mom for a long, long time."

Alex was about to lunge at Charlotte in an attempt to strangle her, but, as if she anticipated the action, Charlotte pulled out a silencer from her drawer, with a speed that impressed Alex.

"Don't even think about it." Still pointing the gun at Alex, she picked up the phone next to her, "Nigel, I want you and Euan to come to my office and remove my daughter, please. Thank you."

Alex looked at her mother and turned around, furious. "Don't worry. That won't be necessary." She left her office, slamming the door behind her, and drove back to the cottage, her hands still shaking.

When she got there, Heidi was still there, her face streaked with tears. "Do you know where he is?"

"I know who has him, yes." Alex sat down at the table and covered her face with her hands.

Heidi didn't understand. "Is…is he ok?"

Alex shook her head, "No. No, he's not ok. The woman I work for has taken him to blackmail me."

It was the first time Alex mentioned anything to Heidi about her work. Alex had always believed that the less she knew, the safer it would be for her. But Heidi was also her only friend. God knows she could use a friend. Someone to confide in.

"What are you going to do?" Heidi asked her, still not understanding. She started to cry again, "What about the drops for his ear infection and what about all his clothes, it's so cold outside…?"

Heidi loved him as though he was her own son and Alex didn't know what to tell her, "I don't know yet, but Ill figure something out. I'll get him back somehow."

"I'm going to go collect his toys outside, in case they bring him back, I could make sure his stuffed cow is on his bed." She was rambling and Alex wanted to put her arms around the young woman and comfort her, but she knew if she did she might lose it and that was something she couldn't afford to do.

When Heidi left Alex picked up a glass that was on the table and threw it against to wall, watching it shatter into a hundred pieces. "Damn you Charlotte!" she cried, "You're going to pay for this, I swear to god." She felt the tears fall down her cheeks now and wiped them away angrily, "If it's the last thing I do, you will pay for this."

Much later that evening, an exhausted Heidi told Alex she was going to try and get some sleep.

"That's a good idea," Alex told her.

"What about you? Is there anything at all I can get for you? Anything Alex…tell me what you need. What I can do."

She shook her head, "No, just promise me you'll try and get some rest."

"You should do the same." Heidi moved to embrace her, "Goodnight."

Alex heard Heidi make one last trip to the bathroom, before heading upstairs. She sat at the table alone, in silence, and remembered the deal she made with Charlotte almost three years ago.

Once my child is born my services are yours, as long as you need them, as long as my baby is off limits. Off limits from you, off limits from any blackmail you may think of.

And if I don't agree with your deal?

I'll kill myself.

And now, Charlotte had broken the deal. 'I have to do the same,' Alex realized. 'I have to keep the upper hand where Max is concerned and if I give in to her blackmail now, she will take him, again and again, every time I do anything that remotely displeases her.'

'But Charlotte is smart. She knows I would never contemplate suicide now, not with Max in the picture. Or so she thinks…What if I could somehow prove her wrong?'

There had to be something she could do that would threaten Charlotte into giving Alex control of Max.

'What if I could make it look as though I would kill myself, without actually doing it?' She forced herself to think of options, morbid as they were. 'I should be able to do this. I'm a doctor I know how many pills it takes to kill a person. Then again, so does Charlotte's physician. He would know a half-hearted attempt when he sees one. Think of another way. Think!'

She glanced at her Omega watch and remembered Heidi's last visit to the bathroom. In less than two hours, she would be back again.

'What if…?'

An idea suddenly occurred to her.

If she were to cut her wrists and lost sufficient blood to make her lose consciousness, she would have a limited time window in which someone would have to revive her. But thanks to Heidi's well-timed bathroom trips, she could calculate on getting help within minutes after losing consciousness.

As long as Heidi found her in time, the effects of her blood loss would be minimal and Charlotte would be none the wiser, because it would look like the real deal.

'And once she knows I would go through with it, I would have the upper hand again, when it comes to Max. Charlotte needs me and she wouldn't risk losing me over having control of my son. If this works, she would never dare to take Max again.'

Alex sighed. 'Who am I kidding? I don't have the guts to do this, I'm not the strong twin. I never was. Besides, what if something goes wrong, and I do end up killing myself? My son would never forgive me, and rightfully so.'

She wondered where Max was, and whether he was all right. He had been insufferable the past few days; his ear infection had made him cranky and moody. "Justin would have no patience for that. Oh Max, my baby…I'll get you back, I promise," she spoke aloud. Picturing him with Justin, Alex felt the tears well up again. "Please let him be alright…"

She got up to go to the wooden drawer that was in the living room and pulled out the silver Swiss army knife that Heidi's family had given her as a gift when they were there. It had the name 'Alexandra' engraved along its side.

"What would you do, Anna?" she looked into the mirror and asked the sister she had never met. "You probably wouldn't hesitate, you were the doer, not the thinker."

'If I can make Charlotte believe I would kill myself because she didn't honour our deal, then she would never take Max again.'

Alex checked her watch. In an hour and fifteen minutes, give or take a few minutes, Heidi would make her way to the bathroom again. It was a certainty. Heidi's nocturnal habits had not changed since she had been living at the cottage with Alex.

'As long as she finds me within fifteen minutes or so after I pass out, I will be perfectly fine. I will not have lost sufficient blood to kill me,' Alex thought, trying to convince herself.

She pulled open the blade of the army knife and felt its sharpness against her skin.

'I can do this. I'm a doctor. As long as I don't release too much blood too quickly, this will work, and Max will be back here within hours after Charlotte finds out.'

She started the slow walk towards the bathroom. She saw the bottle of brandy in the liquor cabinet and picked it up on the way.

'A little help can't hurt.'

She went to the bathroom and sat down on the toilet seat cover, waiting for the time to pass. It was silent in the cottage and the only sound Alex heard was the howling of the winter wind outside. She drank some brandy and felt it warm her body.

Three glasses later, she checked her watch again. The alcohol was starting to make her feel lightheaded. 'In about twenty minutes Heidi will be here. I'll wait ten more minutes.'

She checked her watch one last time.

'Alright. This is it.'

She moved the blade to her right wrist and began to cut into it. The alcohol had numbed the pain she would have felt, and Alex watched the blood flow into the sink with a clinical eye. 'Good. Not too much, not too little.'

The wound was weakening her right hand and her motor skills, so she cut the other one wrist with considerable difficulty. Again, she watched the flow of blood turn the white sink red.

Slowly, she closed her eyes and felt her knees buckle. She felt herself falling to the ground.

And then she felt nothing at all.

In the room next to the bathroom, Heidi was soundly asleep, snoring softly. In her distress, Heidi had done something that night that she had never done before. She drank a glass of sherry before going to bed to help herself fall asleep. 'Maybe if I can actually sleep tonight, I can be strong for Alex tomorrow,' was what she had muttered to herself when she drank the alcohol.

And so she slept soundly.

New York City, New York

Dimitri Marick was sitting in an elegant boardroom the top floor of an office tower on 42nd street, attending a Board of Directors meeting for the Andrassy Foundation, when all of a sudden he began to inexplicably weak and lightheaded.

He had relocated the headquarters of the Andrassy foundation to New York City from Pine Valley only three weeks earlier, in order to reflect its growing international stature and to aid in attracting the top minds in medical research.

Now, as he sat in a room with twelve other men, listening to a progress report from one his researchers, he began to have trouble focusing. The doctor's voice seemed to come from far away and the simple task of lifting his Waterman pen to take the necessary notes seemed to require an enormous amount of effort.

He felt as though his body was shutting down and he was dying.

"I have to get out of this room,' he thought. 'Have to get air.'

He pushed his chair back and with the last strength he had, made himself stand up. "Excuse me gentlemen."

His legs felt as heavy as bricks and he didn't think he would make it to the door.

He barely heard the door close behind him, when he lost all feeling in his limbs and felt himself fall to the ground with a thud. Then he felt nothing at all.

Brynn Wydd, Wales

In spite of the sherry, Heidi was eventually forced to get up. Her head pounded fiercely and for once she hated her inability to sleep through a single night.

"I definitely have the weakest bladder in the entire world," she decided.

She opened the bathroom door and the first thing she saw was the half empty bottle of brandy on the counter.

Then she saw Alex, pale as a ghost, lying on the floor, in a giant pool of blood.

Then she screamed.

('Open your Eyes', Bergman, 1972)