A/N: Thanks to all of the following for reading and reviewing: hippychick21, Silver Tears 11, ellamalfoy8, HPluvagrl, Natsu-no-Hinagiku, nehimasgift (hope ya didn't mind me using 'Porthos the pig' in the chapter), the tofuubeaver, san01, Charming-Lynn, bumblebee115, hanvu, BlackRosePoison-Orchid, pottersgirl91, Setsuna Bu, and svelte(thanks for lending me 'snotty little oinker' lol). Now, enjoy...
Chapter 21 – Just A Little Sabotage
Tom watched as the party of six made their way to the garden path while his eyes trying to burn a hole in the back of Porthos' head.
"Snotty little oinker, he is," Arthos muttered as he too watched after them.
As though on cue, Porthos looked back over his shoulder at the two of them who were still standing at the castle's front doors. He smirked and narrowed his eyes with arrogance, making Tom's blood boil.
"Where are you going?" asked Arthos as Riddle started after the party.
"To wring that little pratified arsehole's neck until he chokes to death," he growled, feeling a long forgotten hatred fire up within himself.
"Whoa! Not a good idea," Arthos pointed out, grabbing his companion's sleeve and patting him on the shoulder. "At least not with witnesses around."
Tom exhaled heavily in frustration; as much as he hated to admit it, Arthos was right. But just as he went to turn away from the gardens, something came to his mind. 'Are you a wizard or not? In fact, your destined to be the most powerful one for years to come – you are right now even.' Tom looked up from the ground with a malicious grin.
"I'll see you around, Arthos," he muttered before racing into the castle. He ran down the hall to the empty study and peered about. The coast was clear, so he pulled out his wand and cast a charm over himself. He felt the sensation of an ice cold egg being cracked on his head. It ran down his body, and he soon found himself Disillusioned.
Grinning already from what little handy work he had performed, Riddle made his way out into the gardens. 'Even if I can't wring his neck right now, I can most certainly be an unseen force,' he chuckled inwardly as he walked around the corner of the castle and examined the gardens, spotting the group of six chatting and making their way though the maze of knee-high bushes. Gravel crunched under his feet as he jumped the shrubs and pursued the group, but he didn't worry about it. They were making far too much noise for him to ever be detected, or so he thought.
"Did you hear that?" Mima asked Hermione in a whisper as they looked back over their shoulders after a particularly loud shifting of gravel caused by him.
"Hear what?" Hermione lied; for she too had heard it and had a hunch what it was. 'Just don't let him do anything stupid to get caught!' she pleaded with some unknown god above.
Tom smirked. So Granger was willing to cover for him? This would make his execution all the more simple.
He jumped the bushes once more, now standing in the grass as he crouched down and let a mischievous grin dawn his face. He moved swiftly along the bushes, careful to stay out of sight. When he was about five feet ahead of the group, he pulled out his wand and waited for Porthos to get closer. Riddle wondered what he could cast upon the unsuspecting git, then it struck him. He waved his wand and muttered an incantation, trying not to chuckle cruelly as Porthos' face screwed up as though something were in his eyes. Then, without the slightest hesitation, the blond sneezed greatly onto the back of the Duchess who shrieked and began complaining to her husband to wipe off the saliva.
Tom's eyes moved to Mima as she began giggling, but she soon gasped and ducked as Porthos sneezed again, this time almost getting Hermione in the face.
"Here, here, m'boy," Duke Rodden boomed as he pulled out a handkerchief and gave it to the young man who covered his mouth while sneezing another six times.
"Do you have allergies?" asked the King.
"Not that I know of," Porthos replied.
"Well, those kinds of things can start at any time in your life," the Duchess sniffed.
The blue-eyed soldier nodded, and the King suggested that they continue their walk so that they may finish quickly.
Tom rocked back on his heels and snickered as he got up. Staying low once more, he ran up ahead for a second time and glimpsed a rather large bee on a rose. He gave a malicious chortle from deep in his throat as he shook the flower that the bee sat on. Taking flight, the bee buzzed in an annoyed way before resting once more on the pink rose. Again, Riddle shook the flower and flicked the bee so that it buzzed louder and zipped about the rose bush. Unluckily for Porthos, the bee was out for revenge upon whoever was disturbing him, and it just so happened that Porthos would be the one the bee attacked.
Trying to be a gentleman, Porthos walked up to the bush and picked a fully bloomed rose for Hermione. It was an unwise decision as the bee darted for him, landing on his forehead and injecting a stinger. The blond howled and rubbed his forehead profusely as Mima stifled a giggle at the idiot boy's antics.
Tom found that he was quite enjoying this as the King suggested that they head back to the castle so Porthos could be tended to. Sensing his chances to ruin things were turning slim, Riddle rushed ahead of the group, almost tripping over a root and rock sticking out from a bush. This didn't anger him though; it only gave him an idea.
Enlarging a rock ahead of the group, Tom watched as the Duke and Duchess passed the trap, yet Porthos wasn't so lucky. He tripped and stumbled forward as the Duchess and Duke sidestepped to get out of his way. On the way to the ground, Porthos grabbed frantically for something to steady himself on and grabbed onto the Duchess' bosom. She gasped, appalled by his actions and whacked him on the head with her fan.
Snorting with laughter, Riddle cast a Silencing Charm over himself as he burst into side splitting laughter. 'That's too good not to try again,' he thought to himself as he got up off the ground and brushed away any dirt that might be on his back. Moving over to the castle, he rushed along the wall and crouched. Readying himself for Porthos' approach, Tom grinned, his heartbeat picking up a bit. Then he noticed something. Behind the horses on the Duke and Duchess' carriage was a prop to make his trickery even more pleasurable. Levitating the large, steaming pile of horse dropping over to the walkway, he positioned it so the blue-eyed guard would have a chance of stepping in it.
As the group of six came ever nearer, Tom held his breath and held out a leg to Porthos who was on the right end of the four in the front. Glad his Silencing Charm was in place, he began snickering already. But a flaw fell upon his plan. Porthos dropped back to walk beside Hermione and Mima, putting him out of Riddle's leg's range.
Refusing to let this happen, he aimed his wand at Porthos' legs and bound them together at the ankles. The young man teetered and began hopping, getting even closer to the horse droppings. Then the worst happened. He became unbalanced and fell forward, his face landing directly in the pile of dung Tom had placed on the walk.
Riddle roared with laughter, but he couldn't be heard. Hermione stood aghast as she saw Tom's spell break, the white rope retracting from Porthos' ankles. Mima doubled over with laughter, pointing at Porthos and slapping her knee. The Duchess wrinkled her nose and shook her head as the Duke and King rushed over to help Porthos up. They picked him up, grimacing at the smell as the blond frowned deeply. They ushered him into the castle, and as they did, Hermione walked over to where she had saw Tom's spell disappear. She kicked him so that the toe of her pump came in contact with his shin. He yelped and grabbed his leg before standing up and following them into the castle.
After being cleaned up and having the stinger from the bee removed from his brow, Porthos joined the others for lunch in a sun room. He took a seat across the table from Hermione, the King to his right, and the Duchess to his left. Once the meal began, he tried to engage Hermione in conversation, but she would only give short, emotionless answers before chatting with Mima.
Tom entered the room while still under his Disillusionment and observed the first part of the luncheon with watchful eyes. He was willing to sit back and behave now that he had his fun. That was until he saw Porthos do something completely barbaric. The boot the blond had been wearing lay discarded under the table, and his foot was making its way up Hermione's leg. Her eyes grew wide when he came to her knee, and she kicked him in the shin on his other leg. He clenched his jaw and glared at her, but she only cocked an eyebrow and went back to talking to Mima who gave Porthos an uncertain, yet disgusted look.
As the main part of the meal came in, Riddle watched the server set each bowl down in front of everyone. When the server came to Porthos, Tom pulled out his wand and took aim on the bowl. It slid away from the server's hand and landed in Porthos' lap, spilling its hot contents. The future Dark Lord's eyebrows shot to his forehead as the sapphire-eyed soldier jumped up, making the server jump back. A gasp escaped everyone as the youthful guard swore and tried to wipe the mess away.
"What foul language!" the Duchess scoffed.
Porthos looked ready to throttle her, but changed his expression quickly as he gave a small bow.
"My apologies, madam. Please excuse me while I go change," he said with forced politeness. He exited the room, and Tom gave a throaty chortle. He proceed to get up and walk across the room, laying his hand on Hermione's shoulder. Her eyes grew enormously, and she covered her mouth quickly with her napkin as she coughed.
"Something wrong?" Mima asked in concern.
"Hot," Hermione gasped quietly as she pointed to her bowl.
"That's why you should let each spoonful cool before slurping such a large bit down," the Duchess remarked from her seat across from Mima.
"Doesn't look as though you do," the Austrian Princess said in a little less than a whisper.
Hermione pressed her lips together and averted her eyes to her bowl as Mima continued to eat, a small smile in place. It was then that Tom whispered to Hermione.
"How's lunch coming along?" he asked in her ear.
She swung her clenched fist backward, hitting him in the thigh.
"Anastasia?" the King acknowledged with a furrowed brow.
"My elbow started to cramp," she supplied quickly.
"Such an awful lie," Riddle muttered, his nose in her hair. He breathed in and continued to speak, "And be careful; you almost hit the royal jewels."
Hermione's eyes bugged once more, and she felt the spoonful of soup in her mouth go down thickly. He chuckled silently as Porthos entered the room, a fresh pair of military pants in place of his old ones.
"Watch this," Tom instructed in her ear before walking around the table.
Porthos pulled out his chair and prepared to sit, unknowing that Riddle had grabbed the chair and pulled it back some. Porthos landed square on his bottom upon the floor, making Mima give an unexpected snort of laughter. The young man glared at her, and she only proceeded to place her elbows on the table, lace her fingers together, and rest her chin upon them while smiling cheekily.
"A lady should never put her elbows on the table," the Duchess administered.
Mima looked as though she was about to say something when Hermione spoke up.
"Oh, look... the rest of the meal," she announced.
Sure enough, more servers came in and took the bowls away to place an elegant roast of some sort on the table and begin serving them.
"Not too much," the Duchess said as the server came to her. "Oh, a little more... just a tad more," she concluded, making the server look at her in disbelief of the heap on her plate.
Tom laughed and slapped his knee from a chair next to a rather large, sunny window. Hermione looked up toward the sound, looking just left of his head. He waved, knowing she couldn't really see him.
As the group began eating, he got up and walked around the table, running a finger across her shoulders from right to left. She shivered involuntarily before shifting slightly in her chair to cover it up.
"Should I do something more?" he asked quickly in her ear as he walked away.
She tried to make a grab for him, but was unsuccessful as he skirted her and returned to his chair by the window.
"What was that for?" Mima asked.
"Stretching," Hermione answered as she gave a fake yawn behind her napkin. "Just so tired still from all that dancing and stuff last night."
"I didn't see you dancing with many people though," Porthos commented. Hermione glared at him for a split second before opening her mouth to say something, yet she was cut off by him. "In fact, I believe you went to bed early, did you not? I mean, that is why I'm here at lunch with you today," he pointed out snottily.
"A fitful night's sleep is all I had I'm afraid," Hermione said vehemently.
"Fitful, or none at all?" Porthos quizzed cockily.
Riddle had been relaxing in his chair, one leg hanging over the arm of it, but that comment made him sit up straight. Had Porthos seen something, or was he just being a pompous jerk?
"I noticed that Aram-," Porthos stopped here though as he began coughing.
He covered his mouth with his napkin and began hitting his chest with his fist to clear his throat, but to no avail. Tom had his wand pointed at the other boy, and was, of course, the reason he began choking, for Riddle had lodged food in the his throat.
"My Lord, son," the Duke said as he and the King stood, concern on their faces.
The King began patting Porthos on the back, and it looked as though the young man was going to be sick. Hermione, sensing that Porthos was going to suffocate, pulled out her wand and cast a spell from under the table to remove whatever was choking him. When he suddenly spit up an unchewed chunk of the roast, Hermione breathed a small sigh of relief. But that wasn't the end of the troubles, not by far.
The piece of food which had been dislodged from Porthos' throat landed in the Duchess' hair, causing her to squeal. Her squeal sounding like a scared pig, and that made Mima begin to laugh. She quickly covered her mouth with her napkin to keep from laughing out loud as the Duke knocked the piece of roast from the Duchess' hair. The saliva covered chunk of food then fell into the Duchess' bosom, losing itself down the front of her dress. She shrieked and jumped up, hitting Porthos directly in the groin with her chair's arm. He doubled over with a loud groan as Tom roared with laughter, all the while thanking his brilliance of quickly casting another Silencing Charm on himself in that split second as he snorted. Hermione, discerning the place where Riddle as seated from the cast spell, aimed her wand under the table at his chair by the window. It toppled, and he spilled to the floor, yet he was still chuckling as he groaned and got up.
Everyone but Hermione jumped at the sound of the chair tipping, but the King blamed it on a faulty leg. Tom left the room, sniffling and wiping tears away as he admired his brilliance.
"Excuse me, please," Hermione said as she noticed a tapestry move when Riddle passed.
Once out into the hall, Hermione hissed his name. When he didn't answer, she said it again. Taking the Silencing Charm off, Tom spoke just to the right of her, making her jump a little.
"What are you trying to do?" she demanded venomously.
"Let's discuss this up in your room," he suggested, "before someone thinks you're loony for talking to seemingly no one... or worse, someone hears me and makes mention that you were talking to voices without a body."
Hermione stalked past him, pushing him back as he bumped into her. He shrugged and followed her up to her room where he dropped down onto the bed, recalling the scene he had just caused.
"Now tell me what the bloody hell you were on about down there!" she commanded as she looked about the room.
Tom removed the Disillusionment Charm from himself and snickered one last time as she came storming over to stand in front of him.
"I was only having a little fun with Porthos the pig," he chuckled while remembering how Arthos had called him a 'snotty little oinker'.
"A little fun?" Hermione repeated in an incredulously scandalized tone.
"Okay, so it was a little sabotage," Riddle admitted.
"For what? Why?" she fired, throwing her hands up in the air.
"Because that arse deserved it for... well, being an arse," Tom replied, getting a little annoyed with her displeasure of his antics.
She was completely frustrated with him. More than that even. She pointed at him, one hand on her hip in a very Mrs. Weasley-like way. Her mouth opened and shut and then opened again. When she shut it for the second time, she grunted with aggravation and picked up a pillow. She whacked him over the head with it, messing up his hair.
"Hey!" he barked as he stood up from the bed. "What was that for?"
"Because you deserved it for being an arse," she said as she mocked him and his previous remark to her question of why he had attacked Porthos.
She hit him with the pillow again, feeling some vexation flee her body. She took yet another hit, and a fourth one even. He jumped back, glaring at her as he commanded her to stop. She didn't listen though as she hit him once more in the face. He yanked the pillow from her grasp and hit her in the side of the head with it, making her gape in a scandalized way.
"That was uncalled for!" she accused.
"Oh, was it really?" Tom asked as she whipped around and grabbed another pillow and began beating him in the arm with it.
"Grow up!" she demanded when she stopped.
"You started it!" he retaliated as he hit her once more. "So you first."
Hermione stamped her foot and whacked him around the waist with the pillow, earning her a hit in the arm with his pillow.
"You're so stupid!" she snapped as she dodged another swing from him.
"And you're too uptight and bossy!" He swung again, leaving an open spot for her to hit him upside the head.
"You're insufferable!"
He hit her. She hit him.
"Like you aren't!" he barked.
Another blow to each. The madness continued for at least another ten minutes, and by the time they finished, their hair was frizzy and sticking up all over the place. Both were red in the face, and feathers lay about the area around them. They were both breathing heavily and glaring at one another.
Hermione dropped down on the bed with a huff, but just as she did, there was a knock on the door. She looked to Riddle in alarm as he stood rooted to the spot, his hands on his head where he had been trying to smooth back his hair. There was another knock, and the knob of the door began to turn as Hermione shot up off the bed and stood, shocked and gaping with Tom, unsure of what to do.