I want to apologise for the delay. I had hoped to have this chapter and the next out by the end of February, but there were issues with my laptop and I needed to have it repaired. The next chapter might also take a while because I am currently travelling around Europe (yay!), so I can only work on it sporadically.
For the purpose of this chapter, the confrontation with Zexion takes place in a hidden room in the basement (in one of those towers sticking out of the sides) and Axel does not know which room he will retreat to. Also after Zexion portals in, he kind of chills there for 10 minutes, apparently waiting for them.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, or Disney. All are the properties of their respective owners.
3
The Choice
Twin tongues of flames traversed and swirled along the length of Axel's arms, twisting and coiling until they reached his hands. Within his palms, the flare began to take solid form, growing eight pointed spikes along the rim of each wheel. Axel flexed his gloved fingers and snatched the chakrams, grasping them within clenched fists. The replica's heart began to pound painfully within his chest. In all the time he had known Axel, the replica had only ever seen him hold his weapon loosely with his fingertips just hanging onto the edge. Even when they had fought earlier he had only swung them around playfully. The shift in Axel's disposition unnerved him more than he cared to admit.
"Wait – just wait! Who is Zexion?" Quickly the replica shoved Naminé's charm back into his pocket and pushed himself up onto one knee. Axel turned to face him with narrow eyes and taunt arms while wispy tendrils of smoke were curling around his wrists. Knowing how desperately he was pushing the limit of Axel's patience, the replica continued hastily, "I need to know, Axel. I -"
As if seeing him for the first time, the replica drew in the details of Axel's black coat as it billowed from the wind created by the motion of summoning his weapon, feeling his breath hitch within his throat. Zexion had the letter X in his name. "There aren't… there aren't more of you, are there?"
"You're going to have to be a lot more specific," Axel taunted, though speaking with a clipped tone. The replica found himself oddly appreciative of the fact that Axel seemed unable to pass up an opportunity at making him feel inferior. "More Nobodies? Naturally. So I'm going to assume you're asking about the Organization." His chuckled reply sent a shiver down the replica's spine. "The Organization as you know it is short for Organization Thirteen. We're given names by our Superior when we join up and are numbered from I to XIII. "I'm number VIII, your creator was IV," Axel shifted the chakram in his left hand, spinning it deftly. The replica could hear a slight whistle as it cut through the air, "And we're going after number VI."
"Zexion," completed the replica, his throat suddenly feeling parched. The replica's muscles locked and he found himself unable to rise from his half-kneeled position on the floor. The glass ceiling had returned, though now the replica knew he had forced something beneath it himself.
"You thought I was the only one left, didn't you? I hate to break it to you, but there are still nine of us remaining."
The replica's brow furrowed in concentration. "But their scents… I don't sense anything." His mind returned to the incredibly dark scent that had returned alongside Riku. Axel's reaction had clarified which scent belonged to Zexion, yet that one remained a mystery. The replica had originally thought that whoever the scent had belonged to had to be a friend of Riku's, or at the very least a travelling companion, as it never left his side. However, as he studied it more closely he could sense that the scent was riding on top of Riku's as if it were a part of him.
"Could it be the Superior Axel mentioned? It's the strongest, darkest scent I've ever felt and it could be going after Riku the way that Axel and the others were after me. Or…" the replica trailed off anxiously as his furious heart drummed deafeningly in his ears, "Is Riku just a lot stronger than I thought? Strong enough to have consumed whatever that thing is?"
"They're not here," Axel clarified dismissively, refuting at least one of the replica's thoughts. "Well, Zexion is, obviously. And anyway, the coats dull the scents we emanate."
The replica scowled as to not let Axel know how affected the revelation had made him. "Fine. So there are others. That doesn't change anything." The replica noticed a slight tremor in his tone and, coughing quietly under his breath, continued in a more assured voice. "But I don't understand – why are you killing off your own kind?"
Axel sighed, "I already told you about Vexen."
"No, that's not an answer!" snapped the replica while calling Soul Eater to his hand with quick flick of his wrist as discretely as he could. "I thought you just wanted to kill them all off because you're insane and maybe, I don't know, wanted to be the only member of the Organization left. But if there are so many more of you, what are you thinking? They'll come after you. You know they will."
"If you want what's coming to you, I'm going to insist that you stop questioning everything I do." Axel swung one chakram out in front of him, stopping it directly between the replica's eyes. "Besides, they won't catch me because as far as they'll ever know I haven't done anything wrong."
"So this is all just a game to you?" The replica could not take his gaze off the chakram, fearing he was going cross-eyed.
Axel shrugged. "Perhaps. But on that note, here is a riddle for you – what is the one thing that you can do that no one else can?"
The replica rolled his eyes. "Have the trippiest out-of-body experience ever?"
"Replicate," said Axel, ignoring the look flashed by the replica. "Vexen told me once that a replica bears the unique ability to absorb certain traits from others and make them its own. I have no idea what that means, so it's up to you to figure it out."
"What are you talking about?" The replica lifted his head to peer above the chakram and locked into Axel's eyes.
Those eyes narrowed as Axel vanished in a flicker. Out of the corner of his eye, the replica caught a saw a flash of red. Screaming before he knew what was happening, the replica felt a sharp jab in his lower back.
Using the point of the chakram as leverage, Axel crudely thrust the replica back onto his feet. "Zexion could RTC at any second," not bothering to explain what that meant, he added fervently, "I can't wait any longer for you to sort yourself out."
A desperate lunge with Soul Eater was blocked as Axel swung the second chakram, catching the sword in motion and slamming the blade back against the replica's own throat. Pinned between both of Axel's weapons and his own, the replica heard Axel order him to dispel his weapon. The replica rapidly shook his head, suddenly unable to speak. Axel merely adjusted his arm, pressing Soul Eater's blade into his neck, effectively cutting off his breath. With a gasp, the replica dispelled the sword. Before it could be recalled into his other hand, Axel snapped up both wrists and restrained them against the replica's own shoulder. His two free fingertips still held the chakram, dangling it across the replica's chest.
Hot breath tickled against his ear. "You're not going to run. If you were, you would have bolted the second I closed my eyes back there."
Tears stung his eyes and blurred his vision. In less than a single day he had learned that his entire life was a lie; that he did not deserve to live or even be called human. The one person he would have happily died for had rejected him. The only one to show him any hint of compassion no longer remembered he had even existed. He had to endure a nightmare he never thought possible to wake from after watching his memories disintegrate. Vanitas had tortured him and Riku had erased him in Naminé's life forever. He knew now that he could never escape the Organization hunting him. He had been beaten, taunted, humiliated, abused, and now forced into this. His entire life had been stripped bare for all to witness and smile as he shattered.
The replica blinked, causing the tears to spill down his cheeks. His shoulders began to tremble with silent sobs despite knowing that Axel could surely feel the movement. Not running then had been stupid – he understood that. But Axel had listened to him. No one had ever listened before. More than that, Axel had closed his eyes and trusted him. For those few short moments the replica had been able to pretend he had a friend.
"That had nothing to do with you - you would have done the same thing if you had been through what I was. Axel, I wanted to prove I was right!"
"No. You wanted to prove that I was right." Axel removed the chakram from his back, though kept a steady grip on his wrists and shoulder. "You were never going to run because you want to know how I intend to fulfill the promise I made you. And now that you can add 'breaking down' to the list of things wrong with you, you're going to be more desperate than ever for my help."
Choking back more tears, the replica grunted and rolled his shoulder in a vain effort to shake him off. "You just don't get it. I don't want your help anymore. All I want is to get out of here. Please…" he begged softly, despite knowing what the answer to his plea would be, "Just let me go."
Axel whispered with a sigh, "It looks like we're finally on the same page. That's your prize. All you have to do is follow exactly what I say and you'll have your freedom."
The replica's eyes widened and his body stiffened, pressing him uncomfortably against the chakram still held over his chest. He scarcely noticed. The hand on his shoulder loosened slightly. The last of his tears fell. "My…" he trailed off shakily before whispering, "You would do that for me?"
"It's more complicated than just letting you go. You'll be free from me, from Riku, from the shackles of being a replica, and from everyone and every Nobody who ever tried to hurt you. But it's all up to you."
"And if I don't?" asked the replica weakly.
"You know I won't have any other choice." The implication was clear enough. Suddenly Axel freed his hands, though he could feel the chakram return to be pointed squarely at his back until he reached a few paces ahead of Axel. "So what are you going to do now?"
"I…" whispered the replica, trailing off into a hesitant silence.
"Freedom." It was a word he never thought he would be permitted to taste. The replica wiped his eyes, no longer caring if Axel saw. Just hearing the word alone was more than he could have ever hoped for.
"Why didn't you tell me before?"
Axel replied with a chuckle under his breath. "I wanted to see how far you'd go without any further persuasion. You know how it is here; it's not wise to use all your best cards at once – you'll run out of options far too quickly and be left with nothing strong enough to fight back."
"But you said…" the replica broke off stammering. His mind felt fuzzy and sweat began to bead along his forehead. Axel's gaze felt unnervingly hot. "You said that no one would ever accept me because I'm a replica. A-and you said that I know too much to leave."
"It won't matter anymore. You'll be strong enough to take anything you want. Freedom, safety, home, Naminé's love, Sora's friendship. Everything. "
The replica released a breath he had not even realized he was holding and gave a weak involuntary shudder. With a flash he returned Soul Eater to his hands, turning it between his fingers. "You still haven't told me what you want me to do."
Sighing, Axel replied, "You already know. I know you do because you already guessed it. I hate to say it, but the quicker you accept what's about to happen, the easier it will be on you."
"I know I don't have any other choice," the replica said solemnly, though scarcely able to control the shivers rushing down his spine and the steady beat of his heart. The image beneath the glass ceiling was threatening to burst through. As a distraction he gingerly touched the spot where Axel had stabbed him. The dark suit seemed to have prevented Axel from breaking skin, but the wound stung where his finger-tips brushed it. "But still, I need to know what I'm getting into."
Only receiving a crooked smirk in response, the replica intuitively raised Soul Eater higher for protection. Axel turned to him and resumed speaking. "When Vexen had you reprogrammed, he made it so that you would think you were feeling everything extremely intensely, much more so than a real human being."
The replica nodded, recalling that from the splintered memory he had shared with Axel. "Can I offer you some advice, then?" Axel's eyes trailed up the replica's body, lingering on his tearstained face for an uncomfortably long time. Finally he turned away. "For the next five minutes… don't."
Axel flicked his wrist and a swirling inky whirlpool, like those he had seen during the storm on Destiny's Islands, in Riku's memories, appeared in front of them. The replica had seen the Organization members use the portals to travel the floors of Castle Oblivion, but never had he been so close to one. Chilling darkness seemed to emanate from its core.
"If you could do that this whole time, why did we have to walk all way down to here?" asked the replica with a touch of annoyance.
"Because we needed to get around so I could sense where Zexion was hiding." The replica kept to himself the fact that he had felt Zexion's presence hours ago from almost twenty floors away. Gesturing to Soul Eater, Axel commanded, "Put that away. You won't need it."
"I want it," insisted the replica as his fingers closed even tighter around the sword's handle.
"I don't care. We need surprise on our side and I don't want you announcing it with a weapon." Without explaining what 'it' was, he held up his chakrams as an indication that he was prepared to use force to get his way.
The replica allowed Soul Eater to dissipate into blackness and suddenly felt very naked. Vulnerable. He wiped his eyes again to erase the remaining evidence of his moment of weakness.
"Trust me." Axel told him. The replica's eyes widened incredulously and he nearly laughed at the ridiculousness of that sentiment. "Trust me with this one thing and I promise you will have your freedom." The replica still could not accept that word as truth. Axel appeared to take the replica's stunned silence as consent. "You first," he commanded and shoved the replica through.
The replica stumbled to find his footing as he plunged through. Straightening up, the replica stifled a gasp. He had expected the inside of the portal to resemble walking through a black fog, but instead it was a wide tunnel, reminding him of Castle Oblivion. The walls shimmered with blue light, making him feel like he was underwater. It would have been beautiful were it not for the heavy, suffocating coldness that permeated the air. He wrapped his arms around himself and shivered; he hated how much felt like fake memory of drowning.
Axel's scent appeared behind him. "Had to make sure you couldn't try anything stupid. It's dangerous to be in here without a coat like ours," Axel explained while eyeing the replica's dark suit. With another flick of his wrist a second portal opened. "Go," he demanded. Not wanting to feel Axel's hand on his back again, the replica complied.
The cloying odour of raw fear assaulted the replica's senses before he even stepped through the portal. Axel had led him to a room that was dark and composed of stone, completely unlike the rest of Castle Oblivion. The replica guessed he had to be in a hidden room in one of the basement floors, like the throne room Vanitas had showed him. The only light came from a flickering orb that sat on a table in the room's corner. But the replica did not need light to know that he was not alone. Pressed against the wall farthest from him, stood another boy. He appeared to be in his late teens, only a few years older than Riku. His dark blue bangs hung limply over his face while he panted heavily, clutching at his side. As the replica had expected, he was wearing the cloak of the Organization; he could finally put a face to Zexion's name and scent.
The noise of the portal altered Zexion to his presence. Their eyes met once as Zexion gave a cry in terror and flattened himself against the wall.
The replica did not know how to react as Axel appeared behind him through another portal. However, the arrival of a fellow Organization member seemed to calm Zexion.
"He's scared of me? Why?"
His eyes strayed over Zexion's, taking in the long gashes marring his chest, arms, and legs. The coat hid most of the damage from view, but he could make out a ragged line extending from Zexion's ear to collarbone. The replica recognized Soul Eater's work instantly as each laceration was seeped in the scent of a familiar darkness.
"Looks like Riku isn't a fan of yours either."
Detaching himself from the wall, Zexion's eyes narrowed as he scrutinized the replica closely. His face relaxed slightly as he straightened. "Oh, oh yes!" he said shakily, though his tone grew more assured with each word. "The replica, of course! We can use this Riku to defeat the real one."
The replica fought to keep his face impassive as every muscle in his body was straining against the desire to plunge his sword through Zexion's smug face. All along it had been a trap; Zexion's insinuation had confirmed that much. Down in the dark room he was lost and caught with no escape between two Organization members who wanted to misuse him again.
When Axel failed to respond, the replica saw Zexion's eyes widen. "Axel?" he called tentatively.
"Wouldn't you like to be real?" Axel answered with a seductive smoothness. It took the replica a moment to realize who Axel was addressing. Nodding silently and loathing Axel for what he'd done, the replica could do little more than stare ahead at Zexion, knowing that his promise of freedom had been ripped away the moment he had set foot into the portal. For Axel to remind him of it was repulsive.
"Of course I do, more than anything."
Confidently, though maintaining the darkly alluring tone from before, Axel told him, "All you need is the kind of power that the real Riku doesn't have." The replica felt his chest constrict as Axel continued. "If you can get that you'll be you, not Riku nor anybody else. You'll be unique… your own self."
The glass shattered.
With a small gasp, the replica's eyes widened. His lips slowly parted as the words swirled around his mind. It had been Axel who had posed the question, but Vanitas had granted him the answer. "Only the strong deserve to live. When I take your strength, mine grows, and it is by gaining strength that I can become more."
Axel and Vanitas had understood what the replica failed to grasp. Zexion was weak; his remaining strength was begging to be stolen - replicated, as Axel had called it - by someone who deserved them. Someone who deserved to live.
All that stopped him from being human was the boy standing before him.
"Axel! What are you saying to him?" Zexion cried. His fingers tensed against the stone wall behind him as he hunched forward slightly, as if to spring.
"You know," Axel said with a detached air, "I bet he's as good a place to start as any."
"You can't do this!" Zexion protested fearfully, his strangled gasp abruptly silenced as a hand seized his throat. Zexion clutched at the wrists holding him, already draining his strength away at mere contact, to no avail. With his new strength, the replica raised Zexion into the air.
He could feel it. His wounds began to knit and heal instantly. His body no longer was on the verge of collapse. The exhaustion, the despair, and the weakness he had felt all but dissipated. The replica took a deep breath. Power. It was intoxicating and he wanted to drink as much as he could muster from Zexion's fading life so that he would never know weakness again. He felt strong, but more than that he felt alive.
But then, staring into Zexion's terrified eyes, he froze. Despite all of the fighting he'd done, never before had he taken a life. Though he himself was only a few weeks old, the fact was that Zexion appeared to be around his age, only a child himself. Zexion was hurt too and had just been betrayed by Axel. He was scared, alone, and was completely at the replica's mercy, exactly as he had been to the Organization before.
"So sorry, Zexion," the replica heard Axel say in the same voice he had used before. Then came a cold chuckle. "You just found out way too much."
"Is that why I'm killing him? I'm not doing this for me – this is for Axel. Everything has been for Axel. For the Organization. He's just using me again. Wasn't that what Vanitas said… that I don't deserve to live because I'm destined to serve others so that they can become stronger? How is this any different?"
A more powerful thought overtook him. "Is this the kind of person I want to become? Even if… even if I become stronger, what then? Will I have to kill Riku next? Is that the only choice I'll have?"
The replica squeezed his eyes shut, unable to watch the life in Zexion's eyes rapidly dimming any longer. But he could not ignore how the hands that had struggled against his own had fallen limp, nor the sound of his final breath leaving his lips. "Sora would never forgive me for that. Or for this. I don't want to be a monster in his eyes any more. I don't want to become Vanitas. I want to be someone that Naminé and Sora could be proud of. I want to be someone that I can be proud of. I want to be… me – and this isn't who I am!"
He released Zexion, who crumpled to the floor in a heap. Wheezing and clutching at his throat as air began to filter into his starved lungs, Zexion was badly hurt but alive. Whirling towards Axel and calling upon his sword in a single swift motion, the replica shouted, "This isn't who I am! I won't do this!"
Brandishing Soul Eater and preparing to face Axel again, he screamed at Zexion to use a portal to escape. At first Zexion just stared at him with fearful, clouded eyes. Finally he seemed to understand and flicked his wrist to open a portal next to where he lay.
Axel's eyes widened. "No!" he screamed. All earlier serenity was gone as he charged at the two of them with his chakrams raised.
Zexion's energy had revived him, but he had experience with how fast Axel could move. Whether Axel attacked with his chakrams or with a rush of fire, the replica knew he could never fully block him from reaching Zexion.
However, Axel had unwittingly given him an idea earlier. "I can't fight fire with sparks. Fair enough." Immediately after he had set Zexion free, the replica had used the cover of his sword and the darkness of the room to devise his own answer to Axel's flame. Dark Firaga had been festering, concealed, in his palm while he concentrated all of his remaining power into using something that would surely buy Zexion enough time to escape, regardless of the personal cost.
Axel lunged towards him and the replica unleashed his flames to hold him in place. Dark Firaga created a barrier between them, just as Axel had done earlier. For a split second behind the wall of flame, the replica saw Axel smirk. He returned the gesture and unleashed the full force of Dark Aura straight into his chest.
Axel's eyes barely had time to widen before the two of them were propelled across the room. Axel grunted as he was slammed against a stone pillar. The replica's crash was partially cushioned by Axel's lanky body, but he felt the shock of the impact strike him as powerfully as if their roles had been reversed. The replica was stunned but relieved to find that a painless Dark Aura was accessible to him once again.
Unconscious instantly, Axel slumped to the floor, bringing the replica down with him. Fighting to stay awake himself, the replica turned his head and peered through his swimming vision. He saw instantly what he had been looking for - the tail of Zexion's coat as he disappeared through the portal. "He made it." The replica's eyes threatened to close, to allow him to fall lifeless beside Axel, but he forced them open. "He's safe."
A moan to his left warned him of the dangerous position he was in as Axel began to stir. The replica quickly pulled back onto his hands and knees as Axel began to push himself into a sitting position. "So what, you're going to kill me now?"
Tensely the pair locked eyes. The replica saw Axel flinch as he pulled his arm up and back in the pose used to summon Soul Eater. Faster than Axel could blink, the replica smashed his clenched fist into the center of Axel's face. He grinned when he felt something splinter.
A grating sound that was half yelp and half moan escaped Axel. He rolled onto his stomach and curled into a ball while holding both hands tightly over his face and groaning. The replica could not deny how good that felt.
Wordlessly the replica shook out his fist and flexed his fingers. Axel's head had been harder than expected so he was glad to learn that none of his fingers were broken. With a heaving breath he struggled to his feet. Partly obscured by Axel's arms, the replica could make out a single green eye from between the gloved fingers, unblinkingly trained on his own.
"No. I'm not like you." Before Axel could recover, the replica took off running.
"I wanted to see how far you'd go without any further persuasion. You know how it is here; it's not wise to use all your best cards at once – you'll run out of options far too quickly and be left with nothing strong enough to fight back." Ha ha, 'Castle Oblivion uses cards and sleights'. I'm so lame.
Just as a side note, I actually do like Axel. I like him a lot (3rd fav character!), but my main character is pretty biased (especially concerning Vexen) and, to be honest, he was kind of a dick in C.O.
But what is his motivation here (if anyone is actually reading these notes btw, I commend you for being awesome – go have a great day!)? Axel has fears that the replica will wimp out and not kill Zexion for him. So first Axel sees his chance to try to get the replica riled up and angry by making him feel hopeless after he asks about the existence of more Organization members. He tries to play along with the replica, making him hate the Organization. But he's taking too long, so Axel tries to use force in an effort to make him even angrier with the Organization (since Axel is a member). But, since Axel doesn't understand emotions very well, he pushes him too much after what he's been through. Axel kind of goes, "Aw crap, I broke it," once he realizes that he might have screwed up. He switches tactics and promises the replica something he really wants. Now he knows that he has him, but still tries to make sure he'll be angry enough to not back down.
But then, finally, Axel tell him "for the next five minutes… don't [feel]". He was trying to tell the replica to not back out, but accidentally caught himself looking at how distraught he had made the replica. At this point in the game, Axel is beginning to develop a heart. He feels a twinge (a small one!) of regret for what he is about to make the replica do to Zexion. So when he says that line, he is also saying it to himself. Then he tries to recover and be more forceful to get back in command. That's why he makes the replica go first – because he doesn't want to look into his eyes any more.
Also, I have no idea how the Riku Replica managed to lift Zexion up in one hand like that in the game. So for the sake of this story, draining Zexion's life gave him bonus strength.
So actual story stuff: I mentioned in the notes for the last chapter that I was unhappy with the previous iterations of it. The reality is that the second chapter was originally very different and the changes I made really impacted this one. Originally, Vanitas had a smaller role. Nothing drastic, but he never said his big speech which, as you can see, became really important in this chapter. When Vanitas retreated after setting off Aqua's spell (By saying his name, in case that wasn't clear – the spell was looking for any trace of him, but because he was chilling in the replica's heart, it couldn't notice. Until he had to be smug and make his presence known. Whoops…), the replica connected with Riku and saw the Destiny Island's scenes in CoM. The replica, in this version, met Zexion in this scene and witnessed Sora (Zexion) fighting Riku. Then the scene with Naminé and Riku happened.
But in the end, I didn't like the Destiny Islands stuff and increased Vanitas' role (which is honestly the way it should be) and decreased Riku's. So what did that mean for this chapter? Originally the trigger for the replica changing his mind was thinking that he didn't want Sora to look at him the way he did to Riku when Zexion attacked.