Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock Holmes or the song My Immortal by Evanescence
singing
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
John was beginning to lose hope.
It had been three months since Sherlock's death and it wasn't getting any better. The pain was still there as fresh as it had ever been and getting up every morning was a chore John no longer had energy to do.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
Everything, no matter where he went reminded him of Sherlock.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
He kept on replaying all their moments together from the first time they met; every case, every deduction, laughter, fight… The brilliance…
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face—it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice—it chased away all the sanity in me
Sherlock was present in every waking moment and even in his dreams. There had been no night since the fall that John hadn't watched him jump. The lifeless body on the pavement surrounded by a pool of blood haunted his dreams night after night and every time the result was the same.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
No matter how he tried, John was never able to save him.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
And he felt guilty.
Guilty for not being able to save Sherlock. For not being able to talk him out of it. For not telling him he was in - . Well, for not telling him how much he cared about him.
And now it was too late.
Too late to get back what Sherlock took from him.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
And now Sherlock would always have a part of him.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review and tell me what you think.
Next chapter will be posted tomorrow.
- Dalnim