Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock Holmes or the song Lost in paradise by Evanescence
Singing
I've been believing in something so distant
As if I was human
And I've been denying this feeling of hopelessness
In me, in me
He was having dreams.
Not the same kind as before, where he had to watch over and over as Sherlock jumped, without being able to save him. No, these were different.
These were happy.
Until they weren't.
All the promises I made
Just to let you down
You believed in me, but I'm broken
In these dreams he was in Baker Street lying on his own bed, peacefully asleep. And Sherlock was there with him, lying next to him. But he was awake. He was holding himself up, leaning to his hand and watching John as he slept.
I have nothing left
And all I feel is this cruel wanting
We've been falling for all this time
And now I'm lost in paradise
They were both shirtless and Sherlock was trailing his fingers on John's back, drawing circles. John woke up in the dream to his gentle touch and smiled at him lovingly before moving closer to him, snuggling him. Sherlock smiled and put his arms around him before kissing him deeply.
'I love you', he whispered before he was whisked away from him and all John could see was the picture of dead Sherlock lying on his own blood in the pavement.
And once again he woke up screaming.
As much as I'd like the past not to exist
It still does
And as much as I'd like to feel like I belong here
I'm just as scared as you
John didn't know if these dreams were any better than the ones from earlier. Because these dreams made him ache all over. They made him realize something he had been denying for far too long.
I have nothing left
And all I feel is this cruel wanting
We've been falling for all this time
And now I'm lost in paradise
They left him feeling lost.
Run away, run away
One day we won't feel this pain anymore
And all he wanted to do was to escape them. Escape everything. The dreams, the memories, the pain.
Take it all away
Shadows of you
Cause they won't let me go
He was being haunted by images of Sherlock.
The three words he had said to him in the dream.
The knowledge that he'd never be able to hear them again.
Never for real.
And the knowledge that he would never be able to say them back.
Until I have nothing left
And all I feel is this cruel wanting
We've been falling for all this time
And now I'm lost in paradise
Alone, and lost in paradise
For he could no longer deny it.
He loved him. His best friend. His partner.
He was in love with Sherlock Holmes.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review and give me some feedback on the story.
- Dalnim