A/N: Thank you for Guest for reviewing. One more chapter to go after this. I hope you like it.
Warnings: Suicidal thoughts
Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock Holmes or the song I don't care by Apocalyptica feat. Adam Gontier
Singing
The day had arrived.
He had waited till the evening, visiting Sherlock's grave during the day as to not raise suspicion. He knew Mycroft most likely kept tabs on him so it was better to be safe than sorry. He didn't want to get interrupted.
But now everything was ready. He had updated his will weeks ago. Everything would go to Harry. It wasn't like he had some huge fortune. He owned nothing really. But the little he did, Harry could do whatever she wanted with them.
He had chosen his gun.
The very same weapon that had saved his life countless of times. The very same weapon he had used to shoot the cabbie on his and Sherlock's first case.
It was poetic really.
But it would be quick and painless. He was a doctor; he knew where to shoot to end it quickly. He would die like so many of his mates from the army that had been discharged and had not been able to go on in the civilian life. He couldn't blame them. He had thought about it himself many times in the beginning.
Before he had met Sherlock.
But now Sherlock was gone and there was nothing left for him.
Nothing left to live for.
It was time, John thought as he took the gun in his hand.
Time to end it once and for all.
Raising the weapon to his temple, he was surprised to see his hand didn't shake.
So much for the tremor in his shoulder.
Less chance to miss.
His finger trailed the trigger.
He closed his eyes.
And started to press.
But was interrupted.
Cursing John hid the gun into the closest drawer and took a deep breath. He couldn't shoot himself when there was someone knocking on his door.
Wiping his face from all emotion he moved to open the door, praying to God it wasn't Mrs. Hudson returning early from her sister's'.
But as he opened the door he saw a sight he had thought he'd never see again.
"John."
"Sherlock." John whispered.
John stared at him in shock.
Alive.
Sherlock was there, standing in front of him, alive and well.
And somehow he knew that this time… it was real.
Suddenly the numbness he had felt for the last two years disappeared and his feelings went haywire.
The first thing he felt was joy.
It was like a heavy rock was lifted from his shoulders and from his heart and he felt happy. Sherlock was alive! He was here! He came back!
But then came the anger.
"You fucking bastard!" John roared and Sherlock winced.
"John…"
"I can't believe you. How could you…? To me…"
"I'm sorr…"
"Enough!" John interrupted. "I don't wanna hear it."
Sherlock looked at him pleadingly, but John just looked away from him and took a deep breath.
I try to make it through my life, in my way, there's you
I try to make it through these lies, and that's all I do
Just don't deny it,
Don't try to fight this and deal with it
And that's just part of it,
"John…"
If you were dead or still alive
I don't care, I don't care
Just go and leave this all behind
'Cause I swear, I don't care
John had never felt this angry before. He had been this close to killing himself and joining Sherlock in death and now he finds out he was never dead to begin with. How could he do this to him?
But no.
John didn't care.
Whatever excuse Sherlock had. He didn't want to know.
He didn't care.
Not anymore.
I try to make you see my side
Always trying to stay in line
But your eyes see right through
That's all they do
I'm getting buried in this place
I got no room you're in my face
Don't say anything just go away
"Please John…"
If you were dead or still alive
I don't care, I don't care
Just go and leave this all behind
'Cause I swear I don't care
"I'm sorry John." Sherlock whispered and John could see tears in his eyes, but forced himself not to react.
It's not changing everything
You won't be there for me
If you were dead or still alive
I don't care, I don't care
Just go and leave this all behind
'Cause I swear I don't care
At all...
And Sherlock left.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review.
Last chapter will be posted tomorrow.
- Dalnim