A/N: Thanks for reviews. Here's the last chapter and the song which convinced me to write this. I think it describes perfectly how Sherlock is feeling.
To Ashjen2010: I'm really glad you liked this story. I don't usually read/write songfics either, but I have written one HP-fic that has songs in it, though not exactly like this as it's primarily not a songfic. If you want to check it out you can find it in my profile under the name Without your mask where will you hide.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock Holmes or the song The Reason By Hoobastank
Singing
John didn't know how long he just sat on the floor leaning to the wall his knees drawn up to his chest. Sometimes crying silently. Sometimes sobbing. And sometimes just staring into nothingness.
He was exhausted.
Physically.
Emotionally.
He just felt so tired.
And that was how Sherlock found him in the morning.
"John!" He cried as he entered the flat seeing John on the floor looking lifeless. John turned his gaze towards him and looked at him with empty eyes. He was so tired he didn't even have any energy to feel. Sherlock hurried to him and lifted him in his arms moving him to the couch, before looking over him.
Black rings under eyes, slow reactions – severe exhaustion – clothes look too small, body thin and skin dull – hasn't eaten for days – treatment: long sleep and food.
How had he not noticed this before?
'Oh John, what have you done to yourself.' Sherlock thought as he disappeared to the kitchen to make John some tea. The guilt ripped through him like a sharp knife. He knew this was his fault.
It was all his fault.
Sherlock poured the tea into John's cup and took it to him helping him drink.
"Come on John, you need to drink something." He said lifting John's head. John sipped awkwardly and started coughing. He sat up and took the cup from Sherlock, who wrapped a blanket on his shoulders.
"What are you doing here, Sherlock? I thought I told you to leave." John said weakly, looking at him with tired eyes.
"When have I ever listened to you, John?" Sherlock said attempting to lighten up the mood, but John just stared at him blankly. Sighing he continued. "I wanted to explain…"
"I don't wanna hear it, Sherlock." John interrupted closing his eyes and shaking his head lightly.
"Please John. Just listen. Please."
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
Sherlock moved to kneel on the floor in front of John and took the tea cup from his hands before covering them gently with his own.
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
He moved his hands cupping John's cheeks and wiping them dry from the tears that fell down the man's face.
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
"I love you John." Sherlock whispered tears in his eyes. "Please, just let me explain. If you still want me to leave… I-I will. I promise."
John stared at him for a moment through his tear-filled eyes and nodded.
So Sherlock explained.
He told him all about Moriarty's plan and the assassins that were targeting John, Lestrade and Mrs. Hudson. He told him how he couldn't take him with him for fear of Moriarty's network finding out and Sherlock losing him. He told him how he had missed him every moment he was away.
And he told him how sorry he was.
At the end of the explanation – which had both in the tears – John jumped at him and hugged him so hard Sherlock was sure he broke a few ribs, but could care less. He hugged him back like his life depended on it and buried his face on John's hair.
"I'm so sorry." He murmured.
"Don't ever do this to me again." John said his face buried into his shoulder. "I don't care if there are fifty snipers on me; just don't ever do this again."
"I promise." Sherlock said. "Never again. I will do anything you want. I will change my ways; no more experiments, no more body parts in the fridge… Just don't tell me to leave."
"No." John said quietly and Sherlock pulled away to look at him.
"No?"
John shook his head. "No, I don't want you to change. You're perfect just the way you are, body parts and all. You're the one I fell in love with. All of you; good and bad. I just want you back."
"You – you love me?" Sherlock asked hope shining through his eyes.
"Yes, Sherlock. For a genius you're pretty stupid, you know? Of course I love you." John said trailing a hand down Sherlock's cheek, and gave a watery laugh.
Sherlock gave him a brilliant smile and hugged him tightly again.
"I love you too."
"I know." John murmured his head pressed in Sherlock's chest just where his heart was. "I missed you so much."
The two men sat there holding each other for a long time and neither could remember when they had lied down on the couch, John laying on top of Sherlock.
"Sherlock?"
"Hmm?"
"You said you'd do anything I wanted…"
"Yes?"
"I want you to kiss me."
Sherlock lifted his head to look at John and smiled a bit…shyly?
"You know… I haven't really done this before…" He said with a faint blush.
"Oh?" John said raising an eyebrow before his lips formed into the grin Sherlock loved so much. "I will just have to teach you then." He said before claiming his lips and giving him a soft sweet kiss. "Consider it an experiment."
"Mmmm… I think I quite like this experiment." Sherlock smirked before kissing John with passion.
"Mmmm… Me too." John said and both men knew it was going to be okay.
It would take time, but they were going to be okay.
Together.
'Cause they were already healing.
The End.
A/N: Thank you for keeping up with this story. I hope you liked it. Please review and tell me what you thought. By the way, sorry that the song isn't separated properly, but it appears that FF no longer allows me to but spaces between the paragraphs...
Thanks,
-Dalnim