Part Three
Rae stared at him as he stared back. She could feel each second passing as she reflected on the way he shouted at her. It wasn't a shout at her in a way that he was angry at her; it was a shout where he was worried about her. She cast her eyes at the floor and shifted her body slightly. Her mind drifted back to when she had last seen him this angry. Outside the chip shop.
"Scrubber, Scrubber, Scrubber, Scrubber"
What was she doing here? He didn't deserve to be with a scrubber. She didn't deserve him. Even when she needed him, he was there, yet when he needed her, she hadn't been. She had been the only person he felt like he could talk to. He couldn't even talk to Archie – somebody that he had been friends with for years.
"I've got no other reason to stay… have I?"
"It doesn't matter" Rae said, looking back up at him. Inhaling her tea back up into her nostrils, she placed the mug on the table and grabbed at her jacket. "Thanks for being here Finn. I'd better head home" She made her way over to the door, lingering slightly in the doorway.
Finn stared at her, anger boiling in his veins. There was no way she was going to escape again that easy. Not after how she had treated him this afternoon.
"What the fuck?" Finn asked, and Rae looked back at him.
"Finn?"
"What fucking right do you think you have? You treated me like shit, you left me to go to a party – how dare you!? You don't think you owe me a little bit of decency. You left me for no good reason, you left me. I didn't leave you. Yet you punish me over and over again by not trusting me! Since when have I ever done anything to warrant you not trusting me?! Do you even know anything? Archie told me what he did to you – y'know. The day he didn't stick up for you when the boys were making a joke about ya fanny. I punched him. Rae. I punched him FOR YOU. I punched me best mate because he couldn't stick up for you. And now, you come 'ere – at 2 fucking AM and you get me up out of bed – when I'm supposed to be leaving tomorrow. I make you a cup of tea, and you just leave me high and dry. And no it's not alright – if you leave right now I will never speak to you again. You can be a right bitch Rachel Earl."
Rae stared at him, not quite believing her ears. After everything that had happened this evening, she felt the rage rush to her head and she started shouting back – not even care that his Dad was clearly standing at the top of the stairs listening in.
"I don't deserve you Finn. You're amazing. You're hot. Look at me. I'm UGLY. I'm FAT. How on earth could you have been with me? You wanted me to give you a reason to stay, and I would love to tell you that I love you and that I want you to stay – and I do, but I can't! If you stay here, to be with me, you will regret it. I'm messed up Finn. Being with you freaks me out because other people stare, when other people stare it fucks my head up. And when you came over this evening, I needed to be with Chloe – she's been so good to me Finn. And this guy. He came in to the bathroom Finn. He came in. He shouldn't have come in Finn." She sat on the floor, holding herself and rocking slightly. The memories of that evening rushed through her and she sat paralysed slightly. She felt him come and sit beside her, and felt his fingers trace out letters on her leg.
AND WHAT?
She felt the tears escape her eyes and roll down her cheek.
"How is it, that when you touched me, it felt like heaven and I wanted it so bad… Yet when he touched me, I tried to ask him not to and he wouldn't stop. He only wanted to be with me because he had fantasies about bigger women – not me, bigger women. I asked him to get off me. He wouldn't. He locked the door Finn. And I thought of you, and the strength that you have, and I got out of there. But I feel dirty and used. Chloe wouldn't come back with me – why wouldn't she Finn? Why am I all alone?"