Posted: 14/01/2007
一
Stain
Thanks to Astarael00 for beta-ing.
Chapter 8
一
"Taisetsu Na Hito" by Yuki Kajiura, Mai Hime OST II.
Her most important person.
一
That night was probably the first time she had gotten a restful sleep since the festival.
Her eyes opened slowly, squinting at the lights in the room; and blinked once, twice.
For the first time, Shizuru thought vaguely, there had been no dreams. Her hand reached to her forehead, expecting some dampness - like always - only to find none.
But...why?
"Shizuru."
Crimson eyes lifted to meet a pair of half-concerned, half-guarded green eyes.
Natsuki.
Shizuru almost wanted to slap herself. The younger girl had woken up before she had.
"Natsuki," acknowledged Shizuru, a small smile curling on her lips. She gestured towards herself. "Help me up, please?"
Wordlessly, Natsuki laid a careful hand on the brunette's back, cautious of the multiple cuts and one mysterious injury and guided her up; before patting the pillows into their appropriate positions.
"Ah..." grunted Shizuru lightly, eyebrows furrowing.
That made Natsuki pause.
Was Shizuru one who would show pain so easily?
No, her mind answered quickly. Or rather, amended Natsuki, it had never occurred before.
A memory, one that she did not want to recall, flashed past her mind.
"Do you hate me that much?"
She stomped it down instantly.
Physically, she amended for the second time. Physically. Natsuki had never seen Shizuru showing pain due to physical injuries before.
It was very interesting, but also very worrying, to see Shizuru's face contorting in controlled pain.
Did it hurt a lot?
"Natsuki?"
She broke away from her train of thoughts.
The other raised a delicate eyebrow.
"W - What?"
"...I was not aware Natsuki liked to hold me," answered Shizuru, amusement and mischief clear in her tone. "But, of course, if Natsuki wishes to continue holding me, I will not complain."
Natsuki blinked.
She looked down.
The two of them were in an interesting position, to say the least. Natsuki had lifted a knee to the bed in the process of helping Shizuru up, and her right hand which had once held Shizuru's back was pressing lightly to the pillow. To make up for the lost support, her other hand, the left hand, had gone around Shizuru's form to her back; her fingers tangled with brown locks of hair.
If anyone had chosen to come in at that moment, it was almost certain that they would have received the wrong message.
Not to mention they had stayed in this particular position for the last few seconds while Natsuki's thoughts trailed off.
She looked back up, blankly, into bemused, twinkling burgundy eyes.
She stared into those eyes.
Stared, and stared.
"Natsuki?" asked Shizuru, slight concern in her tone, when Natsuki seemed to have become stock still.
Natsuki snapped back to reality.
"A-ah," yelped Natsuki, quickly releasing the other.
Luckily for Shizuru, she had her palms pressed to the bed itself, and was able to hold her posture.
Her cheeks felt warmer than they should be.
Shizuru chuckled, leaning back against the pillows slowly.
"Shizuru!" bellowed the younger girl, growling.
The brunette only smiled provocatively, another tease forming at the tip of her mouth.
Then she glanced out of the window, and noticed it was dark. Completely dark.
What she said then, was entirely different. "How long were you here, Natsuki?"
Crimson eyes trailed downwards to the younger girl's clothes: a gown and a mismatching pair of slippers.
Natsuki shrugged. "For a while."
"For a while," repeated Shizuru, almost dubiously. It had to be early in the morning now, possibly...three o' clock? Four?
"For a while," echoed Natsuki vaguely, as she sat back in the chair, crossed her arms, and looked outside.
When Natsuki crossed her arms, it was a clear sign to Shizuru that Natsuki wasn't about to go into details, and would refuse to, if asked.
Cautious. Defensive.
A hint of sadness flashed past Shizuru's crimson eyes.
Was she like this, before the festival? So guarded...
"Shizuru?"
Not to Shizuru, no, she wasn't.
"Yes?"
At least not before the festival.
"Why are you with Reito?" Natsuki's voice was quiet, so quiet.
Silence reigned, and the silence spoke volumes, spoke of the confusion, spoke of questions after questions.
Why are you his girlfriend?
Do you love him?
Does he love you?
Since when were you together?
Why are you together?
I thought..I thought...
"He asked, and I agreed," Shizuru answered lightly, cocking her head to a side.
There it was again. That infuriating, impenetrable Zen-like smile.
Natsuki loathed that smile.
"He asked," repeated the azure-haired girl softly, green eyes narrowing dangerously, "and you agreed."
"Yes," Shizuru said, calmly.
It was strange how one little word could affect Natsuki so much. That one little, three-lettered word rammed into her, stabbing at her chest, her nerves, her whole figure, and something, something deep in Natsuki, snapped.
"So you agreed when he asked if he could cut your hand?" she asked softly, but her tone was so sharp, so biting. "You agreed when he asked if he could do it, multiple times?"
Yet Shizuru appeared unaffected; collected, impenetrable, like always.
Like always.
Natsuki felt her blood boil.
The chair teetered for the second time, then fell to the floor with a loud crash.
"MULTIPLE TIMES!" She was standing and she was shouting, the calm facade broken into pieces as everything came out. "So you agreed when that bastard asked to injure your back? You agreed when - "
"Natsuki."
She ignored the call. "Months, Shizuru! Four months! You let him hurt you for four, fucking, months! He abused you for MONTHS!"
"Natsuki - "
"MONTHS!" snarled Natsuki, her hands clenching into fists. Blazing green eyes locked onto placid, unreadable crimson eyes. "When were you planning to tell me, Shizuru? Just when were you - "
She stopped short, suddenly, and took in a deep breath, her curled fingers tightening almost painfully.
Shizuru, by then, had looked away; expression betraying all emotions.
"Who are you?" Natsuki asked abruptly, quietly, with a shuddering breath. She was trying, she was honestly trying with all her might, to control her temper. "Who, the hell, are you?"
The brunette did not reply.
"You are not Shizuru," Natsuki said harshly, coldly. "The Shizuru I know would never stand for this abuse. She would never - she would..."
What would she never do, really?
What would Fujino Shizuru never do?
It was a sudden, devastating realization for Natsuki, when one fact, one simple, plain little fact, slapped her in the face.
She didn't know.
Or maybe she did.
Because what came out of her mouth then was something even she did not expect.
"I thought you loved me."
It was a whisper, a croaking, broken voice; so soft, so soft it was almost unheard.
Had it all really occurred just because of Reito? Her anger? Or was it...
Shizuru had turned to face her, burgundy eyes widened a fraction, surprised and off-guard.
...was it something else?
But she remained silent. The shock subsided almost as quickly; and now there was no joy, Natsuki saw, no joy at all, in those ruby wine orbs.
Only sadness. Regret.
Regret.
Oh.
"Is that how it is?" Natsuki asked, quietly. Her mouth was working by itself, and she wanted to desperately stop it.
For a brief second, confusion flitted past Shizuru's features.
"It was a lie, wasn't it?" Natsuki whispered.
No. No. Stop. She didn't want this.
"Everything you said, everything you have done..."
Stop. Stop.
Shizuru's eyes remained on her; ambiguous, damnably calm.
Natsuki's throat suddenly felt dry, but words poured out of their own accord.
She shut her eyes tightly, something incredibly heavy weighing down her chest, and her closed fists were shaking.
But her mouth was still moving.
"You never loved me."
This time, disbelief and something akin to suppressed horror marred Shizuru's placid features, though Natsuki didn't see it.
"Nat - "
Something was cracking
"You never loved me at all."
cracking, and cracking…
"A lie," whispered Natsuki. "It's all just a lie."
"Natsuki, please, listen - "
The hammer was in place, its wielder a former Duran user
"It was all just a game, wasn't it?" Natsuki said, coldly, cruelly.
"...It is not a game." No. Never.
But Natsuki didn't hear it; didn't see the bleeding of Shizuru's soul, didn't hear the cries of anguish Shizuru emitted.
"A game!" shouted Natsuki harshly.
The hammer strikes
She took in a deep breath, though her lungs constricted, and her breathing became shallow and erratic.
Her clenched fist was so tight it was beginning to hurt, but she didn't care.
and their friendship crumbles.
"I hate you."
The three words, so clear and sharp, rang through the room.
The deep, silent yet tangible bond between the two of them crumbles.
She ran out of the room.
"Natsuki!"
Crumbles.
A/N
-waits for the killing intentions to reach her-
Heh. Well. I did sort of warn you all, anyway, in the last chapter.
But honestly, though. Where's the love for Reito? Many of the reviews for last chapter literally tells me Reito must die. No Reito fans here? -blinks-
Am I the only one who actually thought Shizuru and Reito looked sort of good together? -ducks rotten tomatoes and various sharp objects- I mean...come on, don't they just scream world domination? Mr and Miss Perfect. But don't worry, I'm as much as a shiznat fan like the rest of you.
That aside - my apologies for my lengthy absence. There isn't many good reasons for it, aside from the usual and probably lame reasons such as uni stuff and real life situations and laziness.
Anyway. As far as this chapter is concerned, The angel side of me is hoping it's enjoyable to all of you, and the devil side of me is hoping you're frustrated to the point you want to pull your hair out. Chapter 9 is in the workings...although, admittedly, the only scene completed was done quite a few months ago, and working on the next is (quite) a struggle for me. I need some inspiration and ideas, if it's anything. So...don't expect the next update anytime soon. Unless if I'm being swarmed by ideas during the next few days, but I doubt it.
Stay tuned,
Eagle
Ah. And, "Taisetsu na hito" is translated to "his/her most important person", if some of you had yet to figure out. Kudos if you noticed the irony. And if you listened to the song while reading, too. -grins-