I was in the mood to update something that didn't give me writer's block.

Mikayla was silent as I sat next to her on her bed. She didn't say another word after telling me she was 'afraid, afraid to fail.' I reached over for her hand, brushing my fingers over her knuckles before she pulled away. I couldn't take much more of her rejection. It was doing something to me mentally.

"Mikayla."

"Just leave it at that," she annoyingly stated.

"Kayla.."

"I told you about how much I hated you giving me nicknames," she stood, pushing herself away from the bed as I covered my face. My hands wrapped around my cheeks tightly as I took in a deep breath.

"Your friends can give you nicknames but I can't, got it." I sighed, standing as Mikayla faced me. She seemed pissed again, for what reason was unclear. Maybe she hated the fact that she said she was showing me her vulnerable side.

"Why are you doing this?" She asks me.

"Mikayla, I just want to know you. The girl I fell in love with…"

"Shut up about the girl you fell in love with. This is me Sonny, take it or leave it. I…," her eyes seemed to sparkle, but I couldn't pinpoint if it was tears or frustration trying to break through.

"I love you," my voice filled the air as I slowly paced over towards her. I reached for her hands as she stepped back. "Please Mikayla, let me in. All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy." I slid my hand into hers as she yanked away.

"I need you to leave."

"Mikayla.."

"LEAVE!" She screamed.

"What is it about me that you hate? Mikayla I've tried to accept this new you, I have…I've tried," my throat began to close as I spoke, my chest aching and eyes watering, "I'm willing to do everything there is in my power to help you but all you do is tear me apart. All I want from you Mikayla is your love. I want you to love me, but all you do is push me away."

"Leave," she said once more. I was fed up. My life was some game to her, my heart but a breakable piece of flesh.

"I can't keep doing this Kayla." My words chilled the air. I wanted to take them back after even saying them because in my head I knew what I meant.

"So you want to break up with me because you can't have your way?"

"Mikayla that's not what I said," I tried to defend myself.

"Yes it is. You're pissed because I'm not molding into the person you want me to be. Well if you want to leave Sonny…"

"Stop this. Do you even care about me Mikayla?!" I screamed as she paced towards the door.

"Just leave."

My chest burned as my eyes fogged up from what was unfolding in front of me. I knew she didn't mean to make it sound as if it'd be fine for us to break up over something like this, but I wasn't going to argue anymore.

"Whatever," I shoved past, ignoring Mikayla's mom's eyes as I ran for the front door. I was hoping that the paparazzi was gone to lunch or something because I wasn't ready to deal with them at this moment. I couldn't place my finger on when this happened to us. I couldn't place when Mikayla turned like this, but I knew where we began.

I stood on the balcony of my hotel room as the cool air chilled me. I couldn't pinpoint when it happened but I knew I was feeling different about my co-worker. Mikayla seemed to be such a warm and inviting person since we began filming a month ago. We had two months left and I just couldn't stop thinking about her. I took a deep breath just as the door to my left opened.

"Hey," Mikayla spotted me, her eyes sparkling in the blue twilight.

"Hi," I bashfully responded, taking breaths as slowly as I could.

"Its cold out tonight," I could tell she was making small talk, but it was well worth it. Although our balconies were but a foot apart, it felt as if they were even closer then that. "Do you mind if I come over?" She asks, brushing her hair behind her ear before looking behind her.

"I don't mind." I smile just as she disappears inside of her room. Moments later a knock comes to my door. I pace over towards it, opening the door to let her inside.

"Hi again," she giggled as she passed by me.

"Hi again," I repeated, just as she crossed her arms. I've always heard of bad things about Mikayla. She wasn't likeable, they'd say. "You seem nicer than I've imagined."

"Because everything everyone says is true," she winks at me before I bashfully look away.

"They always say mean things," I don't know what to do with my hands. They just stiffly lay at my side as Mikayla faces me from across the room. She now stands where I once was near the balcony.

"Most of the time I'm a bitch. When I hate something I must speak my mind and when I like something," her eyes find mine before she smiles, "I let everyone know."

"Oh."

"But liking things are rare to me," she finds the edge of my bed, sitting quickly before patting the spot next to it.

"Has anyone ever seen this Mikayla?" I ask as she studies me. I don't move any closer, and I definitely don't dare to sit next to her.

"No, not really. My parents don't even know me." Her eyes seem to pull her out of the moment. She studies at nothing in particular before taking in the view from my room. The balcony doors were wide open, the cool breeze chilling the room.

"Well I'm glad that I get to see this side of you," I finally take a few steps forward as she stands, giving me a faint smile before crossing her arms once more.

"Since we aren't filming tomorrow and I'm usually cooped up in my room alone," she begins, "do you want to do something with me?"

"Like what?" I ask, just to keep the conversation going.

"Anything," she waves into the air as I nod. "Great, I'll meet you tomorrow around noon."

"Alright."

"See you then," her smile brings me to a sort of grin. I watch as she leaves as the smell of her shampoo lingers in the room. Some kind of berry scent that isn't all too familiar to me. I listen to my drumming heart for a few moment longer before outvoting myself to head off to bed.

I awake to loud noises the next morning throughout the house. My whining does nothing to stop the sound as I pull myself out into the living room. My mom on the couch with the remote pressed against her cheek, her eyes glued onto the television screen.

"Mom!" I whine.

"Its not me," she answers before I can complain.

"But its loud," I can feel my hair brushing against my face just before a loud ringing noise enters the air. "Ugh!"

"Isn't that Mikayla's ringtone?" She asks as I ponder on answering my phone. I never use to think about letting it ring and have voicemail pick it up. But Mikayla was treating me horrible lately and I wasn't going to stand for it.

"Sonny, do something," my mom was the one complaining now as the sound of drills from outside and the phone in my room blended together.

"I'm going, I'm going," I make it back into my room. I shut the windows tight, stuffing a blanket near the crack under my door before answering the phone. "Hello?!"

"Its about time Sonny," Mikayla breathed into the phone just as I held onto every word. "I thought about what happened yesterday and I'm willing to forgive you," forgive me? I ask myself. Wasn't it her fault that yesterday happened in the first place.

"I didn't do anything wrong," I respond, taking a seat at my desk just as the line goes quiet. I could hear faint voices in the background as my stomach turned. I wasn't jealously of Mikayla's friends, I couldn't be.

"Whatever, can you just come over please?"

"No, I record today."

"You recorded yesterday."

"I work Mikayla okay, I have to work." I hung up the phone. It wasn't intentional, but I was fed up with the way everything seemed to play out lately. I wanted to apologize for hanging up the phone. But I couldn't pull myself into doing it.

"So where are we going?" I ask a smiling Mikayla as she leads me towards the front of the hotel. I follow her, my heart basically jumping from my chest into my throat it seemed. "So why don't you show your real self to the world?" I continue from the previous day.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what makes you have this hard shell with the entire world and yet…," I try not to step over any boundaries as I go quiet. Right outside the hotel doors sit the beach on one side and the path to the shopping strip on the other.

"You can say it," she encouraged me, "and yet I'm different with you. I don't know," she begins, "you don't seem like you're judging me and I guess when someone's like that with me, I get to relax and be myself. You know?"

"Sure," I nod, taking her side as we choose to walk on the beach. I lower myself to pluck my flip-flops from my feet as Mikayla does the same. "I'd never judge you," I tell her just as she stands up straight, her eyes truly locking with mine. I shyly look away just as she taps my hand with her fingers. I glance back up, my heart almost blocking her voice.

"Don't say never. I have a lot of things to judge." She leads the way as I catch up as we slowly walk side by side. The waters brush against the sand like an old friend before we find a place to sit under a stationary umbrella.

"I like ice-cream," I randomly say, noticing I haven't really given much info about myself to the girl.

"Ice-cream," she giggles just as I bashfully stare at my hands. "I'll make sure I remember that. Anything else?"

"Um..no." I couldn't tell why talking to her had me choking up so much. I didn't want to talk. I wouldn't mind listening to her and just enjoying the time with her. "So do you have any brothers or sisters or like a wicked step mother or something?" She asks in order to spare my embarrassment.

"I um..no brothers or sisters. No dogs. No cats. No animals or pets of any kind. And no step parents either. Its just my mom and I." Wow, that was a mouthful.

"Okay then, how's your mom?"

"She nice. We talk about everything. The last thing she said to me before I came to film here was, Sonny make sure you enjoy yourself."

"And are you?" Mikayla asks as I nod, gripping sand between my fingers just before she sighs.

"And what about your family life?" I ask as if that's what she wanted me to do all along.

"I don't talk about that much," she sort of mumbled.

"Oh," I couldn't look at her, nor even her way, I was lost at what to say to make this situation less awkward.

"No its nothing like that," she comforted me, "I just..my family is broken," her words chilled me. "My mom and I live in L.A. My dad…who knows half the time… I'm my publicist's problem for the most part, but no brothers or sisters or animals or whatever. Its just me. Mikayla," I watched as she carried her field of vision out into the water.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up," I'm never good at comforting people.

"Its not your fault. I was just born into this family you know," she smiles before standing. "So do you want to walk some more?"

After my shower I was off to the studio lot for my fitting, dress rehearsals as well as a small filming process from three until five. Mikayla had called me twice since I'd hung up on her earlier, but I just didn't know how to deal with her. She basically wanted me to break up with her but also, not to break up with her. What sense does that even make? Once at the studio, my makeup was applied and my hair was curled lightly before I walked over towards the dressing room. Tawnie angrily glared at me.

"What did I do now?" I ask as she focuses on me.

"So did you say anything to Mikayla bout her drinking problem?"

"Tawnie," I shush her, "we can't talk about this here."

"Look, it won't get better Sonny unless you help her and say something to her."

"And I will…but"

"But what?" She asked as I sighed. Clothes hung from one end of the room to the next with tags placed on this and that. I thumbed through clothes as Tawnie followed. "Sonny how many times will it take for you to realize that she'd hurt you before she gets help? And no matter how much I don't like you sometimes, I still consider you a friend."

"I don't know how to bring it up to her."

"Um, I don't know, maybe by saying, 'Mikayla you're a drunk!'"

"Oh yeah, lets make it that much worse," I pulled a dress up into my hands with a sweater to go over it before my phone began to ring.

"It's her isn't it?" Tawnie asked.

"No," I mumbled, checking the name, "okay maybe." Once I answered the call, nothing was heard except for something shattering before the phone clicked off. I could feel the chills running up my arms but there wasn't much for me to do at the moment. But after work I'd be heading to Mikayla's.

The sun was falling for the night and as the moon rose, Mikayla and I stood on some rocks overlooking the water.

"Thanks for keeping me company today," Mikayla said just before facing me. She was but a few inches in front of me as I smiled.

"It was nothing," I waved her off.

"Yeah well, usually people find something to complain about." Her eyes seemed to pull me in as her eyes gazed over me. The orange background covering the both of us from the sunset seemed to make this moment last even longer.

"There is absolutely nothing I'd complain about," I tell her just as she raises her hand. Her fingers grip a few strings of my hair before she lowers her hand. I step closer, not letting her over-think the moment just as she smiled, leaning into me. The moment her lips fell against mine I could hear nothing but the gentle waves against the rocks. Her lips were soft, smooth, perfect. I still didn't know what to do with my hands, so they laid floppily at my side just as Mikayla rose her arm and wrapped it behind me. She pulled me closer, the space between us disappearing as our lips hungrily worked against the other'. I felt my legs growing numb just before Mikayla pulled back. She gave me a gentle smile, releasing me as I caught my breath.

"I hope you didn't mind me kissing you," she whispered as I shook my head.

"I don't mind. I didn't mind." My heart was drumming away as Mikayla walked past me.

"I guess we're back to filming tomorrow."

"I guess so," I nodded in response as she lead the way back to the hotel. Neither of us spoke about the kiss, but I felt it still.

My phone was apparently ringing like crazy just before I answered it. I was at a lost for words when a muffled voice broke through from the other end. The voice was of some girl who could or couldn't have been one of Mikayla's friends. I await for someone to speak, at least to me and acknowledge I was on the other end.

"Give me that," I heard Mikayla giggle, "hello, Sonny?"

"Yes," I didn't know what to say or how to answer, so I stood in my trailer just staring faintly at a chair.

"I thought you were coming to the studio."

"I didn't know I was still allowed, you were upset with me earlier."

"I know, but just come by okay."

"Mikayla…," my words were cut off by her hanging up the phone. I didn't know what to do with her anymore, but I decided to gather my composure and get dressed before heading over.

… …. ….. ….

I enjoyed the music studio just as much as the studio lots, but seeing Miranda, Mikayla's publicist was another story. I trailed the long familiar corridors, my eyes shooting from one door to the next as my heart began to drum in my chest. I spotted a sigh which directed me towards a group laughing insanely loud. I should have known Mikayla would ask me to the studio only to torture me. I entered with a smile as Miranda studied me.

"Sonny darling how are you?" She smiled, walking over before hugging me tightly. "Mikayla has something to tell you, big news even, we're excited aren't we Mikayla?" The woman was looking for some type of approval as a faint smile shot from my girlfriend.

"Sonny," Stella, the redhead I met just a day ago waved to me. "How was filming?"

"Shush it up now," Miranda moved away from me and faced Mikayla, "come on, tell her," she smiled.

"Ugh," the brunette whined, her eyes rolling slightly before they landed on me. "I thought I was only recording today but I was just informed that I'll be making an appearance on your show." Mikayla seemed thrilled yet a bit surprised herself from the news she just told me.

"Oh, that's amazing." Her friends brought up the excitement with me. That was, until Mikayla stood, never once letting her eyes leave mine. I had thought I did something wrong. Maybe I hadn't reacted the way she wanted me to. Maybe I was under-reacting, I was at a lost.

"Can I talk to Sonny alone?" She asked just as her friends booed before doing as asked. Miranda was the only one to linger in the room. "That means you too." Once everyone was cleared out, I studied the girl.

"Are you okay?"

"Do I look okay to you?"

"Well to be honest, you don't look thrilled about the news of coming on my show."

"Sonny, I don't know about you, but I'm not ready for this life I'm living to come crashing from under me."

"And how would that happen I wonder?"

"Don't get snappy," an annoyed Mikayla began to pace the room. I never knew what to say when she became angry out of no where.

"Its just a show."

"Miranda booked that for me. She wants me to compete against that stupid Hannah Montana, but I have other things on my mind."

"Like what?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Mikayla finally sat on the sofa near the far back wall.

"You never want to talk about anything to me…Mik.. Mikayla," I remembered she hated me giving her pet names, "I'm here for you. I want to talk to you, to get to know you again."

"Just know that since all of your stupid little friends know about us…. How am I supposed to act on that stupid set? "

"Do you think us working together is a bad idea?"

"I think Miranda is doing this on purpose. She's doing this to get back at me because she found out I was drinking again."

"Did you ever stop?" Apparently my question was executed incorrectly because Mikayla stood, crossing her arms with her eyes burning.

"So you think I'm an alcoholic too?"

"I never said that Mikayla," I tried to comfort her, although it felt like she was saying what I wish I could tell her.

"You two can be best friends then, talking about me behind my back and going on about how much Mikayla can't handle her alcohol."

"Why would I say that?" I ask just as she walked up to me. We were but inches apart as she glared at me head on.

"You were there with me when we were filming in the Bahamas, you know how stressed things can get."

"I know," I nodded in agreement, remembering the good times we had, and the few mental breakdowns she endured.

"I'm sorry Sonny." When those words drifted into the air a chill fell over me. She was being vulnerable again, she was letting me see her break and I didn't know the reason.