Bash wasn't sure how long it was before Mary stopped tossing and turning, but eventually her restlessness ceased and she was still. He was tempted to turn from his chair several times to look at her, but forced himself to remain where he was.
He tried to occupy himself with considering what steps to take next. He knew his options were limited - he had no say in the final word sealing Catherine's fate. All he could do was present the evidence of Catherine's murder attempt, recount what he had seen when he'd walked into Mary's room, and hope it would be enough to condemn her to the chopping block. He didn't see how she could back her way out of it. He only hoped his father would make the right choice.
The right choice. Bash thought to himself dejectedly. But what is the right choice for Mary? Is it me, or is it Francis?
In his wildest dreams, he had never imagined that he and Mary would be betrothed. She had always wanted Francis, had always belonged to him.
No. He thought Mary belongs to no one. She had made that clear the moment she brought forth the plan to legitimize Bash and wed him instead. Her body belonged to no one - but her heart... who did her heart truly lie with?
Bash was not so easily frightened, but thoughts of his half-brother haunted him day and night, never giving him rest. His memory was like a dark cloud hovering over the horizon, always watching, always reminding him of what was coming.
Francis would return to court, that much was fact. He was wounded by Bash and Mary's betrayal, no doubt planning to come back with a vengeance and fight for her heart and fight him. But Bash did not want to fight over Mary like two dogs over a bone - he wanted Mary to choose for herself, to have at least this one choice all her own. She deserved that.
He was just terrified her choice would not be him.
He had been as careful as he could, giving her every chance to turn back and take Francis to the throne, prophesy or not. He was trying to do the right thing by her, unwilling to have her trapped in a marriage she did not truly want, and truth be told, he was trying to protect his own heart as well. But each time she had denied or had offered him his own freedom instead of the throne, giving him equal chance to put their betrothal to an end. She had been so worried about taking something from him, taking away his freedom, but Bash sometimes worried if she was second-guessing herself, not wanting to hurt him with her rejection. It was a legitimate fear, as she had only suggested their marriage in order to save Francis's life, which brought forth his greatest fear born from the moment he had kissed her by the riverside: If she chose Bash and went through with the marriage, would she ever love him the way he loved her? Or would she forever long for Francis's touch, and Bash forever cursed to live with the knowledge that her heart did not yearn for him? He might be lawfully wedded to Mary, but words only mattered if they held meaning and truth. This above all else was what drove knives into his heart, piercing all the way down to his very soul.
But then... There had been moments where it seemed this was not his fate. They had shared tender moments together, several of which had been by her initiation. And just this evening she had given him the greatest hope he could ask for, one he grasped at with both hands. "My heart is open." It was the closest thing yet to an affirmation that his feelings were not unrequited. But was it enough?
Bash felt his head turn before he realized what he was doing, and his heart melted at Mary's sleeping figure behind him, her hair fanned out against the pillows in a thick black wave. Her body rose and fell with the steady breathing of sleep, and he was glad of it. God knew how she needed rest.
He sighed, turning away and closing his eyes in submission. He had never known love like this, had never realized how intensely it could burn and blaze like the fiercest of flames. But for how brightly it shone, it's uncertainty was equally torrential. How cruel that the very thing that had given him such life could just as easily destroy him.
How very cruel indeed.
Several hours passed, and Bash was awoken from a half-doze by the sound of soft sobbing. The fuzziness of sleep left him as quickly as an arrow's flight and he leaped from his chair, sword at the ready, damning himself for growing drowsy. He wheeled around the room, searching for the danger with frantic eyes, but found no one. He then looked to Mary and saw her face twisted with fear and her legs thrashing about.
Bash placed the sword across the seat of the chair and rushed to her bedside, his hands everywhere at once - her shoulders, her cheeks, her forehead, anywhere he could reach.
"Mary, wake up. Mary," He was careful not to let his voice rise, knowing it would only upset her more. "It's just a nightmare. Mary, Mary, it's alright. Wake up. I'm here."
She awoke suddenly, her eyes searching the room in a panic until they landed on Bash. Her chest heaved with sobs, and she reached for him, touching his face as if to make sure he was real. "Bash." She breathed. Her hand dropped to the bed as she cried, the night taking it's toll on her at last.
Bash immediately threw back the covers, hot with sweat, and pulled her into his arms. She crawled into him, her arms wrapping around his neck as her legs hung over his lap and her small feet dangled over the edge of the bed. He could feel her flushed skin through his clothing, and her body shook as the sheen of sweat became exposed to cool air. All Bash could do was hold her, whispering soft reassurances in her ear as she clung to him like a child, her breath hot on his neck.
Minutes passed and eventually her sobs grew softer and her breathing steadied, although her grip did not lessen; she held onto him as if her life depended on it. Bash was painfully aware of the way her soaked nightgown clung to every curve and contour of her body, and how she had pressed herself flush against him. He chastised himself for thinking of her in this manner when she was so distraught, but it was difficult to think of much else.
After a while, he felt Mary's chest rise and fall with a deep sigh, her hands floating down to rest on his breastbone, toying with a clasp on his tunic.
"I have never felt so old." She admitted. Her voice was soft. "I feel as if I have aged thirty years."
"Well, for an old woman, you have managed to stay immeasurably stunning." Bash replied easily.
Mary choked out a wet laugh and wiped her cheek with the back of her hand, giving him an exasperated look. "Honestly, Bash, do you ever stop?"
He tipped her chin up, his forefinger and thumb lightly grazing her soft skin. "Only if you want me to." He said lowly.
There was a beat of silence, and he could feel her shiver beneath his touch. Her eyes met his, two bottomless pools that always gave him the distinct feeling that he was drowning. She slowly shook her head.
"I don't..." Her whisper was barely audible, but clear and loud as a bell to Bash's ears. He touched his forehead to hers, his heart pounding, and kissed her lightly, a feather-like brush that was more of a question than an answer. When he pulled back, she brought her hand to his face, guiding him back to her, lips parted in breathless anticipation. She gripped his shoulder with her other hand to steady herself and slowly twisted around until she was straddling his waist. Bash's hands floated down to her hips, as if on autopilot. His brain felt muddy, his ears ringing.
"What are you-" He shuddered when she shifted her position, pulling him closer.
She didn't reply. She started unbuttoning his shirt, slowly and carefully, and Bash felt his heartbeat skip. Was he still asleep? Had he fallen into another one of his dreams? It had to be. It was the only explanation. And yet in dreams, her touch had never felt this real before...
She met his eyes, and he was shocked to see how calm she was when minutes before she had been near hysterical. Her fingers were ice-cold as they traced his jaw, and he caught them in his hand - not to stop her, but to give her warmth.
"We don't have to do anything." He said, the words painful in his throat. "I won't ask you for anything."
Mary's face crumpled for a brief moment and she looked at him with such sadness that Bash was sure he had insulted her somehow. But she smiled and Bash swore he could see something else in her face, something very tender.
Her voice was soft but sure. "You never have." She brought his hands to her waist, underneath her nightgown, and slid his hands up her bare skin. His nerves were on fire and his breath caught in his throat when he felt her heartbeat pounding erratically beneath her breast. Mary's eyes fell shut at his touch.
"Mary..." Bash's voice quivered.
She moved his fingers those last few tortuous inches north to places he had only dared dream of, and when he touched her, she moaned softly and nodded her head, and there was no more need for words.
He bunched the fabric in his fists and lifted the gown off her shoulders, his eyes sweeping over her body hungrily. He had barely had time to register her beauty as he'd fished her out of her bath only hours before, too preoccupied with the fact that she had almost been poisoned and drowned. But now he could look, and look he did.
Her skin was pale and flawless as white silk, save for the two dark circles that peaked and pebbled in her anticipation. Her neck dipped deliciously into the hollow of her throat, and the curve of her hips was exquisite. Everything about her was beautiful, and he wanted to make sure she knew.
He could feel her fingers at his buttons, her breaths short as she traveled down his chest. He let her, taking the time to memorize every inch of her previously forbidden body, desperate to lock it away where no one could take it from him. They could take everything else, but they could not take this moment. It was his, and hers, and theirs, and if he should lose her to another then at least he could not lose their time together, however short and blissful it had been to him.
When his shirt was free, he tossed it aside and bent down, taking her in his mouth and running his teeth over her peak. Her head fell back as she gasped, thrusting herself closer and gripping his bare shoulders tightly. Bash paid each breast equal attention, leaving her skin red where he had marked her, and then lifted her in his arms as he quickly laid her down on the bed, crawling atop her in the span of just seconds.
He kissed her lips soundly, as if he might float up into the clouds if he was not anchored to her skin. She responded in kind; there was a fervor to their kiss that was much more animal than in the past, and he wondered if she felt the same urgency as he did - that they may not be permitted a forever the way others could be, that they must take advantage of what little time kings and queens could grasp.
He withdrew from her embrace and went to unbuckle his breeches only to find that the were already halfway down his waist. He hadn't even felt her nimble fingers there. So he shucked them off as well and her eyes widened as his full nakedness was revealed. He felt slightly self-conscious as she took in the sight of him, and he hesitantly reached for her undergarments, sliding them down endless legs until there was nothing left but him and her.
Bash's mouth went dry as he looked at her beneath him, reeling from the fact that this was happening, desperate to keep it from ending. He bent overtop of her, his forearms supporting himself on either side of the space beside her head, and kissed her sweetly.
"Bash... Please." Mary urged, dragging his hips forward.
He complied, slowly easing himself into her with baited breath, mesmerized by her face as it contorted into a look of pure pleasure. He was lost to her, wholly and completely.
He began to move, letting all thoughts of Catherine and Francis and the world beyond these four walls fade to nothing. He would let himself be selfish tonight, if only for one night. For all he knew, it could be the only one they have.
A/N: I'm thrilled to see that a lot of you guys are following this fic and leaving me such nice reviews. I honestly don't know how long this one will be, although I'm thinking maybe 5 chapters. It might be 4. I just don't know yet. But thank you all for reading!