VII

1410, September 10, 2560 (Military Time)\ Undisclosed Location\Normandy

It was quiet for the most part on the Normandy. Joker sat at the controls, listening to the calming, and soothing music that were the ship's engine hum. EDI observed him with silent respect. Joker's eyes scanned across the orange screens, his eyes reading the heartbeat of the ship from the many gauges and meters in front. What would be considered another language for most, was a symphony to Joker. Amid the orange and golden glow of the screens, a single diode began to tick away with unusual readings.

"Joker," began the smooth voice of EDI. "I am picking up a disturbance."

"Where is it?" Joker asked as he leaned in to study the metric.

"Everywhere," she replied. "Electromagnetic, but...I do not read a ship near by. I...I cannot explain it, but something just...seems off."

Joker flipped his hat off his head to give his stubbly hair a good rub with his hand. Then he leaned against the leather cushion of his chair, crossing his arms. He stared at the screens, seeing the oscillator vibrate with almost a sense of confusion. At least from what Joker could read of it.

The black, starless void the Normandy traveled in was suddenly filled with a rosy hued sky and a sun peeking out from behind a group of mountains. The whole ship seemed to be heading for the sun, but not once had it moved position. Joker's eyes bulged out of his head when scene changed all around him. He saw what looked to be four Sangheili ships parked in the middle of a grassy plain.

"Joker, I believe the large carrier in the middle," began EDI. "That ship is Admiral 'Heros' ship. The Shadow of Darkness."

They passed another group of four Sangheili ships.

"Does Telek have another ship?" Joker asked.

"No," said EDI. "Joker, we are inside a closed universe. The landscape is looping."

"Like one of those old cartoons from five hundred years ago!" said Joker.

He could feel the Normandy come to a slow despite the push from the thrusters. Something from the outside was stopping the ship.

"Someone's got us," said Joker. "Shutting the thrusters off."

"Joker!" a commanding call came behind him, startling him so much he nearly leapt from his chair despite his brittle bones.

"Commander!" Joker said as Kaelyn Shepard walked up behind him.

"What just happened?" she asked. "Where are we?"

"I have no idea," said Joker. "Wonderland? I think we just passed through the mirror."

"If this is true," began EDI. "I am not going to the Mad Hatter's tea party, Commander."

"I do believe I've read something about that story from your culture, Shepard," said Garrus Vakarian as he walked up behind her. "And the proper comment in this situation is perhaps we fell down the rabbit hole. While we were on the run from the authorities."

"I believe the authorities just caught up with us, Shepard," said Miranda. "I am...getting a reading from the Array. An...she told me not to panic. Though, I must admit, this is giving me more reason to do so."

"Same here," said Jake as he walked up behind Miranda, leaning over her shoulder. "Something very...odd is going on here."

Shepard turned back to Joker, leaning over the back of his chair.

"Where are we?"

"I...I...dunno, Commander," Joker replied, wagging his head. "But it looks pretty. You know, we haven't seen a field of grass, let alone, anything natural like this...in a long while. If I could, I would just go out and run around in it."

"Why would a field make wish to run around in it?" EDI asked.

"Because it's big, open," said Joker. "I guess there's a little country boy in me. I think I have some sort of ancestor, somewhere, that my have been a farmer."

"It may look innocent, Joker," began Garrus. "But that's what makes it more suspicious."

"I'm with Garrus on that," said Shepard. "EDI, keep the scanners up, I want to know who it is we are dealing with."

Joker turned to the Commander: "Ma'am, um, since that is Telek's ship, maybe we should...contact him…since we're obviously...busted."

There was a deep sigh from everyone, their heads bowed. Kaelyn Shepherd crossed her arms, her eyes darting from each of her crew and then back to the four Sangheili ships.

"Commander, that ship really is the Shadow of Darkness," said EDI. "And there is the Divine Journey, the Silent Wrath, and the Righteous Fury."

"We are so busted," said Joker. "We'll all be sitting in Telek's brig, he'll ground our ship for sure. Man, I hate food nipples."

"Telek hasn't had food nipples on his ship since his time with the Covenant," Shepherd corrected shortly. "From what I heard, it was one of the reasons why he defected."

"Bad tasting Covie food," said Jacob with a slight chuckle.

"The other reason, I believe, was because the leader of the Covenant was a genocidal and suicidal maniac," said Garrus. "Supreme Commander 'Heros is one of the few Sangheili who seems to have a tight head on his shoulder, and who isn't a religious fanatic."

"Joker, contact the Shadow of Darkness," began Shepard. "Tell Admiral 'Heros that I surrender the command of the Normandy to him, and I will give my self up to the custody of the UNSC." She returned her somber gaze upon Miranda and Jake. "I am sorry, I couldn't get you all to safety in time."

"It was bound to happen sooner or later," said Jacob.

"It's alright, Commander," said Miranda. "You did your best."

Joker pulled up a communication line: "Shadow of Darkness, this is the Normandy…"

Static was all that replied over the speakers.

"Shadow of Darkness, this is the Normandy," said Joker. "Respond." He lifted his fingers off the panel. "No response."

"There seems to be a field surrounding the Normandy, Commander," said EDI.

"We're trapped here," said Joker. "Wherever it is we are."

"You are inside my battle-chariot, the Shi'lithra, Mr. Moreau," replied a deep voice from behind the group. "Within a pocket dimension I am currently maintaining within the ship itself."

The group spun around to find a tall, nearly ten foot tall, bipedal creature with broad crimson membrane wings and great, golden, curved horns. The creature looked to be a strange cross between an Eastern Dragon and a wolf, with coppery golden scales and glowing cyan eyes. The eyes were what drew Miranda and Jake's attention the most, and the fact he had three triangular markings upon his cheeks and the obvious glowing, sparkling, cyan bundle of threads draping from under his dark brown and auburn, long hair of his head to the floor. He was dressed in fine silk robes layered upon layered and colored in crimson, royal blue, deep violet and gold and decorated with golden leaves. A long, forked tail twitched just slightly behind him. He smiled friendly, as friendly as a mouth filled with sharp teeth could.

"Hello," said the creature. "I am Emperor Xi Kedzuel Draconis I."

For a long moment, there was an awkward silence. An idle cough came from Joker who swung his chair around to look upon the uninvited guest.

"I did not even detect him boarding the Normandy," said EDI, her voice held a slight touch of awe, if not complete startlement. "He was not there, and then, he was."

The silence was suddenly broken by the sound of a gun cocking behind Kedzuel's back. He felt a gun barrel press up against him.

"Don't move, bosh'tet," said a voice lightly flavored with an electronic, scratchy sound. Kedzuel held up his hands and turned to see a slender, humanoid form dressed in a black environmental suit. She wore a helmet with a purple faceplate that obscured her face. Though through the mask, he could see two faintly glowing white eyes. The helmet of this creature was decorated with a violet, embroidered hood of swirling designs and matching leggings. Kedzuel beheld his first encounter with a Quarian.

"Tali," said Commander Shepard with a. "No!"

"Holding up a gun to the back of the guy everyone's started calling the Ruler of the Known Universe…" began Joker. "Bad idea."

"Well, this is a fine welcome," said Kedzuel. "Though, I'd step away from from my tail, Ms. Vas Normandy." His tail curled up towards her helmet, the twin prongs sparking with a flash of electricity. "You wouldn't want to get electrocuted."

The two, faintly glowing eyes inside the purple helmet widened as the two prongs pointed directly at the Quarian.

"Tali!" said Shepard. "Lower the gun!"

Tali took in a deep breath and bowed her head as she dropped the gun: "Yes, Commander."

"Forget the authorities," he said. "We've been busted by the…Emperor himself. My only request for my last meal, sir, is to have a giant, juicy steak burger, dipped in heavy oil, and fat steak fries and pepper everywhere." Joker slowly rose from his seat. "Um, how are...criminals executed among you Precursors?"

Kedzuel smirked as a glowing ball of cyan light gathered in his paw. He squeezed it tight and his energy sword was ignited. The Blitzardi raised it up and then said softly: "Beheading."

Joker swallowed, his adam's apple bobbed in his throat.

"I am the one who does it," Kedzuel continued. "Judge, jury, and executioner." Then, he let the sword go and it vanished from his hand. "But not today. For now I have no acting authority over any of you. So, your fates are not in my hands." He turned to Tali'Zorah and bent down lower to meet her eye to eye. "However, if the commander of my Honor Guards...Zhane had not deemed that weapon of yours to be harmless to my kind, your head would surely have rolled today." He leaned back up. "After all, you are a guest upon my ship, your ship is on my ship. Not wise to shoot the acting commanding officer of the ship you are on. Isn't that considered a capital offense among your people?"

"I am sorry," said Tali. "Um...sir…ah..."

"It's 'Your Majesty', Tali," said Miranda. "He's a little bit more than just the captain of a ship or an admiral of a fleet. The ruler of many...many star systems. Whole galaxies..."

Kedzuel held up a hand to halter her: "From what I understand about the Migrant Fleet, admirals and captains are basically your version of royalty, Ms. Vas Normandy. 'Sir' will do fine."

Tali bobbed her head slightly, in some subtle gratitude that this creature she only heard about from the broadcasts sent by the Citadel was being at least somewhat politely dismissive to her incorrect address of him.

"The Ruler of the Known Universe, as many are either jokingly saying about you, or meaning it literally," began Shepard. "I, for the moment, cannot tell. But you certainly act the part, Your Majesty."

"I am a little more relaxed upon my...claim on your galaxy," Kedzuel said. "Given the fact we have not been here since the last Extinction Cycle. But if anything else, I am a good friend of Urdnot Wrex and Dr. Liara T'Soni. I don't suppose either have contacted you."

"You've met Wrex already?" asked Garrus, his brow ridges rising in surprise. "Where?"

"On Tuchanka," Kedzuel replied.

Shepard's rather serious and formal expression twitched as her mouth curled into a smirk.

"And why were you on Tuchanka?" she asked. "Did you get lost on your transport to find Earth?"

The Emperor gave a hearty laugh, giving his lengthy hair a shake and his wings a slight stretch.

"No, Captain Tyler was very gracious to give me a bit of a royal tour," he replied. "However, we only made it to Tuchanka before we had to make a pitstop in Ilium to help out Liara and her...personal problem. Though I had a particular honor in meeting Urdnot Wreave as well. And a special honor in breaking his face." Kedzuel curled his two fists and slammed them together with a thundering snap. "Apparently Wrex didn't mind."

"Why were you breaking Wreave's face?" asked Shepard. "That doesn't sound too...royal...of you. I can't picture an emperor going around the galaxy, beating up Krogan."

"I'm a warrior first, Commander," said Kedzuel. "Emperor second. Besides, Wreave apparently decided to show his disapproval when I told Wrex that I was here to help the people of this galaxy fight the Reapers. So, he challenged me and I accepted."

"Seems surprising," said Shepard. "Never thought Wreave could get his butt busted by someone other than Wrex."

Kedzuel's grin spread wider: "How could I refuse? The Krogan recognize strength, something many of my particular ethnic culture and race do appreciate as well. So, I showed him a sample of my strength. He didn't seem to question me afterwards."

"If only I was there to see Wreave get his tail handed to him," said Garrus as he walked over to the side. He held out his hand and Kedzuel shook it.

"Garrus Vakarian," said Kedzuel. "Once a C-Sec officer, but had more of an affinity for the vigilante sort...that I can really respect."

"Oh, were you a vigilante before you became Emperor of the Known Universe?" asked Garrus.

"I was," said Kedzuel. "I was a revolutionary, I fought for the rights and freedoms of the downtrodden, and when I got so fed up with the man in charge, I took his head, and then took his throne. Now I make the rules." He leaned a little closer to Garrus. "Sometimes, you can't just fight for the people, you have to make the change itself...so that those you fight for no longer have to suffer."

"And then you met Liara after you left Tuchanka?" Shepard asked. "Why did you need to go to Ilium?"

"Actually, Liara called Alan for a favor," said Kedzuel. "I was...only along for the ride. She is doing fine, by the way. Ever since I've met her, she's asked so many questions about my species, our culture, technology, that sort of thing. Talked my ears off many times."

"Thanks for the update," said Shepard. "She can sometimes be a handle with her curiosity. But I'm glad Liara is doing much better since our last meeting."

Shepard cleared her throat as she slowly stepped closer to the Blitzardi. She crossed her arms again, and placing her weight mostly upon her right food.

"I hope I'm not being too insulting to you, Your Majesty," she began. "But why exactly have you decided to kidnap my ship?"

"And how did you find us?" Miranda asked.

"Well, finding you was easy," said Kedzuel. "Especially when there were two Technomancers on board."

"What?" Jacob said. "We rarely even connected to the Array just so no other Technomancer would sense us. How did you do it?"

"Oh, my people have ways," said Kedzuel. "But for the manner in how I found you. I call it a light in the dark." He returned to Shepard. "Don't worry, I will not turn you in. But I am in desperate need of your help, Commander. And I hope that Ms. Lawson and Mr. Taylor no longer affiliate themselves with...a particular party…"

"Cerberus?" asked Miranda.

"We resigned the moment the Illusive Man decided to write all our obitchuaries," said Jacob.

"Good, they are now the only group of humans I wish not to associate myself with either," said Kedzuel. "Especially now that they have broken a very important law...of my people…"

"And what law is that?" asked Shepard.

"Using Reaper technology without my authorization," replied the Blitzardi. "Or approval."

There was a hushed silence among the crew, everyone looking to each other, passing expressions of worry. Shepard lowered her hands and straightened her back. She nodded.

"You're right, we do need to talk," she said.