Talking out my She-Hind
Episode 7, Part 1
By Neoraichu
All Characters are the property of Frederator Studios, and I hope that the Manstache is something I dreamed up myself.
...
SheZow looked over at Manstache. "Hmm," she mused, "This Dark Snide-R did give us an invitation to come and see him."
"A trap, I'm sure," he replied.
"I know," she replied, "but if there's any chance that it's really Kelly, Gerald and Maz that are with him as his... 'guests',.. then we simply have to find out the truth of the matter."
"I know," he answered, "It's not so cut and dry being a hero, is it?"
SheZow nodded. "Even if it is a trap," she answered, "I guess I'm glad that you're going to be with me at my side."
"Thank you," he replied, "I'm glad you're with me too."
"So we just need to call him back with our answer," she said evenly.
He nodded as SheZow picked up the radio mic. "Sheila," she ordered, "Restore the radio link with Dark Snide-R."
"Understood," replied Sheila.
The image of Dark Snide-R reappeared on the screen. "I take it that you're calling to accept my generous offer then?"
"Of course," she replied, "And I'm sure you already know exactly why."
"Of course," he mused, "To see if these are truly your friends. To see if I've been treating them well. To see if you can discover my secret past and use it to somehow defeat me back in the past. To see if you can 'set history right'."
"And you're going to use our friends as negotiating chits to see if you can 'convert' us to your cause in the present, or destroy us if we aren't willing to serve you," answered SheZow, "I'm sure you've had years to study our backgrounds and try to fathom our weaknesses so you can try and use them against us."
"Well as long as there's no misunderstanding," he smirked, "Then I'll just send the coordinates of my landing pad to you so you can land most efficiently. I promise there will be no surprise attacks, but if you should initiate violence..."
"I promise pretty much the same," interrupted SheZow, "so there's no point in continuing this line of banter."
"Your friends and I shall be waiting for you at the helipad," he replied before cutting off the signal.
"You have a plan?" asked the Manstache.
"Not until I know what's really going on," she replied, "but I am instructing Sheila to self-destruct if that's what it takes to keep her out of Dark Snide-R's hands. You got that, didn't you Sheila?"
"Affirmative."
Even though it was day, the lights of Vegas still shone brightly. It seemed that every casino was open for business, and it wasn't the post apocalyptic landscape that SheZow was half expecting. People appeared to be well dressed and well fed as they moved from their cars to the casinos and back. Many of them were decked out with their shiny bling as well, both with the men and women. In spite of the desert sun, the women wore skimpy and revealing clothes, and many of them were rather shapely, almost in an unnatural sort of way. It seemed like everyone had access to plastic surgery, or were genetically bred for such traits. They could not tell without more extensive information.
But soon, the landing pad came into view. The estate it was part of was most obviously the largest, grandest, and most opulent estate in all of Vegas. It oozed of expensive materials like gold, silver, ivory and jade. There was a microwave tower, a radio tower, and some other things that could not be identified right away. Of course, Sheila would well know, but they were too wrapped up in the scene to ask her.
"Shall I land us?" asked Sheila.
"Please do," answered SheZow.
As they maneuvered to land, they saw Dark Snide-R standing before the older looking Kelly, Gerald and Maz. He was standing tall, straight, and with a rather smug looking grin on his face. It almost looked like he knew he had won before the exchange had even begun, or perhaps it was the kind of look that said 'I know something you don't, and I plan to use this to the greatest possible effect.'
Kelly was wearing a daring bright red two piece bikini that SheZow (or Guy) had never seen her in before. A much more modest one piece was more of Kelly's style, so she had to wonder if Kelly had truly changed over the years. Her hair, while streaked with gray, was longer and she wore it fully loose. Judging by the size of her top, her breasts were most like enhanced at some time. Her caboose also seemed to be a bit larger than Guy remembered.
Gerald was dressed in a black tailed suit and pants that made him look like Dark Snide-R's butler. The white shirt, most likely silk, was also offset by a black bow tie. They could see the shine of the black leather shoes from under his pants legs. Around his waist was a black cumber-bun that made his waist look slimmer. His face looked different as well, but only because he was wearing a jet black pair of Foster Grants. A pair of very clean, very shiny white gloves covered his hands as well.
Maz was still wearing his all gray-black suit with the stocking cap and black shaded goggles just above his eyes.
The She-Hind landed quietly as SheZow and the Manstache moved to the side hatch. "Okay Sheila," she commanded, "Open the door and let us out. Be wary. I am allowing you to act under your own discretion."
"Affirmative."
(Interlude between the first part of the episode and the second! She-yeah!)
The Reunion
Episode 7, Part 2
By Neoraichu
SheZow stepped from the She-Hind with Manstache right behind her.
"We're here," she said, "Send over our siblings and friends."
He looked back, and Kelly and Gerald stepped around him. "Apprentice?" he asked.
"Two's company and three's a crowd," he answered, "I want to give the family time to reunite before I step in myself."
"How thoughtful," he answered, then looking back, "I hope you know that was not rehearsed in any way. His response was entirely natural."
"Oh, I'll take your word for the moment," SheZow replied.
Kelly approached SheZow quicker than Gerald approached the Manstache, so she wasn't surprised when Kelly hugged her first. What took her off guard was the fact Kelly said nothing, and then just gave her a full kiss right on the lips as she wrapped her arms about SheZow and pinned her arms to her sides in the process. Kelly was desperately trying to slip in some tongue as well, but SheZow was resisting.
In the corner of her eye, she could see Gerald doing almost the exact same thing to the Manstache. He seemed to be taken aback by the sudden turn of events even more than she had.
But after the shock had worn off, it was a simple matter to use her exceptional strength to push Kelly away from here, even though it seemed Kelly's strength had also grown over the passing years. Kelly's eyes were wide open, and her pupils were fully dilated in spite of the desert sun overhead.
"KELLY!" she cried, "What's gotten into you?!"
"I'm sorry," choked Kelly, "but it's been so many years since I've last seen you! I had no idea when you were! You worried me so much!"
"But a French kiss?!"
"I don't know exactly why, but just seeing you overwhelmed me with feelings of love and longing for my baby brother!"
"Did Dark Snide-R put you up to this?"
"Of course not," sniffed Kelly, "I would think you'd know me better."
"Well the Kelly I knew would certainly never have French kissed me."
"Then I guess I have changed some since you've been gone," sighed Kelly.
She then turned to Dark Snide-R and said, "So you mind explaining what SheZap was doing around the ruins of Megadale with a bunch of Zombie workers?"
"Well," he sighed, "The world hasn't exactly been a picnic since you were removed from the place, SheZow. Wars erupted around the globe, natural disasters killed tens of millions, plagues killed hundreds of millions more, and famine killed hundreds of millions more on top of that. I've been doing my best to save as many lives as I possibly could."
"In exchange for accepting your leadership?"
"Well, the world was in need of order. I swear I've been a 'benevolent dictator'," he said with air quotes, "and I promise that once Humanity has been pulled back from the brink of extinction, they'll be free to run their lives as they see fit."
"So you claim you had no hand in bringing this about?"
"I swear I have no knowledge of doing any such thing," he said smoothly, "but I'm sure you've been around. I have plenty of food and drink to share while you talk with your old friends."
"You still haven't explained SheZap and the Zombies," said SheZow warily, "SheZap would never do anything for the benefit of mankind."
"Oh, I just send them out to look for 'cultural artifacts'," he replied, "Of course, SheZap thinks she looking for some lost Doomsday Device for me. I let them think I'm out to take over the rest of the world so SheZap will have their own corner of the world to rule. I'm also keeping a few other villains under my thumb by giving them deceitfully trivial tasks. It keeps them out of trouble."
"So why did Kelly and Gerald claim you were waging war and taking over when they left their note?"
"Oh, it's just a perspective problem. My forces and I appeared in the midst of a world war, and some people just assume I caused it. I was just intervening to end the war and end world suffering. The world was just too chaotic to restore its order without some form of force, and I assure you that the casualties... were minimal."
"Well, I hope you don't mind if I take some time to have some private conversations with my sister here and my best friend?"
"Of course I understand," he replied, "and I'm sure Manstache would like some private time with Gerald too. After dinner, I'll set you up with private rooms. You'll get all the private time together you could want. When you hear their heartfelt stories, I'm sure you'll see that I'm pretty much the good guy trying to save humanity here."
"Are you sure you can spare me, your Lordship?" asked Maz anxiously.
"There is no pressing need for your services, my friend. I want you to feel at ease around your old friends. Take as much time as you need. I promise there will be no interruptions."
So Kelly led SheZow by the hand to the buffet hall. There was easily hundreds of people eating there, and no one seemed to be going hungry. The room was organized into groups of picnic-style table which could each easily sit 20 people. Buffet table were set up so that a dozen people could use each one at a time, and they were divided into groups: Two for just meat dishes, two for mixed meat and vegetable dishes, two for vegetables, two for pasta and mixed pasta dishes, two for breads, two for sauces and condiments, and two for desserts. There was also a freezer table for ice cream (a dozen flavors and mixtures), a soft serve ice cream machine, and a separate table for cones, candy toppings and chopped nuts. There were also two large grills served by four professional grill masters to make steak, burgers, a variety of hot dogs and sausages, and what ever else needed that open flamed flavor. The raw meat was kept in a large cooler. There was even a fully stocked Mongolian Barbeque to make whatever combinations of meat, vegetables and seasonings that one would desire. And to top it all off, there was a drink bar with almost every conceivable variety of soda and alcohol, and three full time bartenders to mix and serve drinks.
"I guess Dark Snide-R knows how to throw a dinner party," mused SheZow.
"This is only the tip of the benevolent iceberg," sighed Kelly.
'But is what's below the water line pretty, or just... pretty ugly?'