Life After Molmol, Book Two : Making Your Way

by Gojirob

The Hinata-Sou's residents are united as never before. Their goals are Tokyo U, fixing things up, and being there for each other. But romances and exhaustion join with potential tragedies past and present to make sure things never get dull for our gang.

13. Chapter Twelve - Moving Forward

Chapter Twelve - Moving Forward On All Fronts

Mitsu was not at her Kitsune-level sarcasm, but nor was she that far off.

"Can we really do this? It sounds like just about the stupidest thing ever."

Mutsumi seemed upset by this.

"Are you doubting I can pull this off?"

"I don't doubt you at all, girl-but this is just so weird."

Naru brought up the obvious.

"At least three of us are immortal. One of us broke the time barrier. Do I really need to list all the etceteras?"

Since the trickster felt she was the only one talking sense, she was prepared to go up against her very strong, very determined sister.

"All that nutsy-ness is our usual-grade nutsy-ness. This nutsy-ness is of a premium reserve, special-edition, even-by-our-standards nutsy-ness. It's got me spooked. There's a wrongness about it that gonna bite back on us."

They walked back to the Sou, absent Motoko, staying with her new nephew while her sister and brother-in-law slept. The once man-hating (man-fearing) samurai was clearly in love with the new baby. Grandma, Granpa (Time travel soon to return him), Haruka, Seta, Sarah and the two Hina Juniors were at the Seta home, where Sarah was fighting off a bout of hysterical blindness, having walked in on Grandma and Granpa without knocking.

"Mitsu, these people - those other versions of us - made the last few days crazier than normal, too. If Mutsumi can get us any information on them, I want it. I mean, we finally have something like peace around here."

Mitsu rolled her eyes at Kei's words.

"Yeah, Bro. A peace you just jinxed to all hell by talking about it."

It was hard for Shinobu being without Arlo, but she seemed to agree with her Sempai.

"Forewarned is forearmed, Mitsu. They all gave me the creeps. Mutsumi, what do we have to do?"

Mutsumi still seemed woozier than normal, as though encountering their duplicates had drained her.

"We'll need a hand-holding circle, Shin-chan. All of your positive energies will keep me focused, and able to show us the world these people come from."

Mitsu stopped them all dead in their tracks before entering the Sou's perimeter, first by teleporting in front of them, then by calling down the lightning.

"You all don't listen very well, do you? I want no part of this. It's wrong, even if these people are our enemies."

The skies cleared, and she stood shaking her head.

"When I first met my-other Mom-she showed me Kei's journal. I refused to read it - however much of a pain in the ass I used to be, I would not ever go there. But she showed me a section anyway, and the parts she showed weren't flattering of me. I never cried so hard after reading it. They attacked us, yeah. But this is their lives. Their very personal lives. Do we want to go intruding on that, when we might also never see them again? Maybe that whole attack was just a fluke."

Kei was not impressed by her argument, and was also unimpressed by something else.

"Mitsu, I thank you for not wanting to peek at my journal, but we know this isn't a fluke. Grown-up Hina Junior wouldn't have traveled back in time for no real reason. I mean, I know what she said, but couldn't she have stopped her kidnapping without us ever knowing she was here?"

He shook his finger in the air.

"Also, both your Moms are full-blood Kitsunes. Can you even be sure that journal was real?"

That one thought shut Mitsu down. She almost felt ashamed that she hadn't even considered that her family might try to teach her a lesson while using a phony textbook.

Once inside what was once again their home, the residents got quite a surprise.

"Hey everyone! Remember me?"

The young man inside their home was friendly-looking, and waved enthusiastically. He could not have terrified them more if he tried. They all yelled in perfect unison, nearly falling over backwards at the mere sight of him.

"Yaaahh! It's Kenichi Of Class 7-5!"

Kenichi for his part picked up on this discomfort.

"Wow. I must have left an impression, last time I was here-how did you all yell the exact same thing at the same time?"

The group formed a circle around Shinobu. Kei pointed.

"She doesn't want you, Kenichi-San. She has a boyfriend, who is NOT her brother."

Shinobu, despite remembering Kenichi's mislabeling of Arlo, shook her head.

"Thanks a lot, Sempai."

Naru broke the circle and stepped forward.

"Kid, why are you here? Shinobu has made her feelings clear, and in this place, clear feelings can be pretty rare."

Kenichi bowed to the group, and then again at Naru.

"Firstly, I wish to apologize for my last appearance here. I have already apologized to Mrs. Urashima-Dono, but it was all of you who were forced to witness the results of my madness."

With that, the tension was halved, though hardly vanished. But it was enough to cause them to let Kenichi to continue.

"Secondly, I accept that Maehara-San has no interest in me, and I now have moved on from her. Please understand...Shinobu-San. I fled this nation in terror of what happened to me on our first date, and in shame for having been such a crybaby over nothing."

Mitsu shook her head.

"You were beaten down, threatened with castration, stuck inside a glass projectile-and what did I do?"

Kenichi whipped out a notebook.

"You are...Konno-San. You mussed my hair in a provocative manner, and asked the Samurai Aoyama-San to spare my manhood so that you could initiate its mature usage. You hugged me close to your chest, all while smelling of cheap peach schnapps."

Mitsu thought back.

"Yeah, there was a sale that week. Anyway, Kenichi-point is, trained soldiers would be scared by what you went through. You didn't need to be ashamed of wincing at it all."

Kenichi shook his head.

"But knowing that only furthered my shame. I spent all my time at the monastery thinking of the day I would regain my honor by returning to see Shinobu-San. She became my quest, my obsession, my grail-even if I ended up confusing her with that ninja girl of the same name sometimes. In fact, I went to see her first by accident. She says Hi, and asks when the order of restraint will expire."

Kei and Shinobu responded as one.

"Never!"

Kenichi stared at the two, till Naru explained.

"They are Sempai and Kohai."

Which seemed to be all the explanation the young man needed.

"After my unfortunate episode here, I met Bob-San. He is an American psychiatrist from Chicago now living in Tokyo."

Again, a unified response.

"We're familiar with his work."

Kenichi wondered now if they were doing that on purpose. Sadly, they weren't.

"I did some odd jobs at his office, and in exchange he talked me down from the frenzy I showed here last time. But in any event, I do have a girl I wish to confess to and pursue, but it is no longer Shinobu-San."

He walked up to, and kneeled before a stunned Kaolla Su.

"It is this young lady."

His eyes seemed slightly wild again as he looked at the Molmolian Princess.

"Bob-San made me realize I had become addicted to the adrenalin rush you gave me when you made me into a living pinball. At the monastery, I was always climbing up on the roof without a ladder or supports, to do repairs. Every time they hired contractors to do work, I checked it thoroughly, no matter the risk. That's what Grandma-Dono hired me to do here, while all of you were gone. Konno-San must have ridden herd on them well, but those lazy men still cut corners-and a few onsen peeping holes. Those are sealed from the outside, and on the inside, they are made to look like those false knotholes cheap wood-panel makers put on as an affectation. This way, no one gets ideas to re-drill there. Is there anything else?"

Kei took this good fortune and ran with it.

"Mitsu?"

"Bro?"

"Could you use an assistant? You do have that thing you wanted to do in your spare time, with Motoko, right?"

Mutsumi, suddenly brighter and more like her usual chipper self, cut in.

"Kei-Kun's right, Mitsu-chan. You put this work demon at it, you and Motoko could really get with your goals."

Mitsu smiled. While work had become her new way to party, as it were, she needed this other thing very badly, even if she and Motoko were keeping it under wraps, for then and there.

"Bro, it's a deal. Kenichi-San, I have whole notebooks full of ideas I couldn't really show those contractors, for how they would have tried to fleece us."

Kenichi shook his head.

"Grandma-Dono gave those notebooks to me, Konno-San. With the exception of new building projects, they are all done-except for the Tea Room. Your notes on that indicated you were not sure on which way to proceed on its upgrades."

Mitsu decided she was going to like having an assistant.

"I'm a girl whose just full of ideas, kid. So be ready. Are you prepared to take on the Tea Room? There's a cot in the back storeroom, all yours, free of charge."

Kenichi checked his own notebook.

"There are certain hardy vegetables that can be planted and made available by summertime. May I start tonight?"

Since his manic energy was now in their service, no one at all objected to this idea. But Kei wasn't finished.

"Good. Now, Mitsu? You figure out which of those contractors were in a position to drill those holes."

Mitsu wasn't sure what could be done but give the creeps bad word of mouth, but her boss was also several things more, so she nodded.

"Then what, Bro?"

Kei grinned.

"Give them to Motoko. Hell, give them to Tsuroko. She'll probably need to get out of the house before long."

Mitsu grinned as well.

"It'll be like our baby shower present."

Kei turned to Kenichi.

"Motoko is also the one you'll have to clear having a relationship with Kaolla Su, even if Su herself says yes. She is very protective of her ward. The love between them is fierce."

Kenichi heard, and partially understood, Kei's emphasis on the word 'fierce'.

"Su-San? Should I even bother to ask Aoyama-San?"

Su considered.

"Well, I..."

Kenichi interrupted her response.

"Please! I have nothing as yet, but I am a hard worker, and I will always work to give you the finest things my meager money can buy."

Su kissed him on the cheek.

"Or-you might eventually become my consort, when my brother the King retires with his wives. We're actually a pretty wealthy kingdom, on Molmol. But you could still work hard as my experimental test subject."

Kenichi gulped, suddenly realizing who he had been confessing to.

"Wealth, power-and the constant risk of agonizing death? Truly, you are my dream girl. Though, Urashima-San-I will say that your sister was most fetching and personable, when she stopped by last month."

While Su giggled and blushed over the attention, everyone else realized that Kenichi was immediately attracted to the two most...eccentric...members of their circle.

Or, they corrected themselves a moment later, the two most insane.

As Mitsu gave Kenichi some limited marching orders for restoring the Tea Room, Motoko walked in, a broad smile on her face.

"My nephew is the second most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on. I-I have to start plans for forging him his first sword. That's so important, and I want to be a good Auntie."

An uncharacteristic bliss was on her face as she spoke.

"He has the cutest little penis!"

All knew this was indeed the deepest love possible, for Motoko Aoyama had actually said 'penis' without euphemism, and not in reference to somehow divesting the male in question of it. Mitsu tried to get her back on track.

"Toko? Some of those workmen I hired tried to give themselves a free show at our expense. Onsen Peepholes set up in some exploitable places. How do you wanna handle their death and dismemberment policy?"

But Motoko was too far in her happy place.

"Well, they never saw anything, did they? And boys will be boys. Like my little boy. My beautiful gift from my loving sister. I know! I'll bring him to see those workmen, and let them I bathed with him, that they can torture themselves. Fools like that expect to be punched, but this will taunt them in ways they can't ignore."

Motoko was now creeping even newhire Kenichi out. But still he approached her.

"Aoyama-San? I wish to pursue a relationship with Princess Kaolla Su. Do we have your permission to date and see each other?"

Motoko grabbed the boy and Su and pulled them close.

"Young love is so wonderful. Oh, will you have babies soon? I want to be an Auntie as many times over as I can."

Su looked at her would-be boyfriend, and suddenly the insane couple seemed very sane.

"Toko, we only just started this in a limited way."

Kenichi's face was red.

"I-just thought we'd see a movie-and maybe have taiyaki at a stand."

Motoko now looked upset.

"You two are no help. Urashima, Narusegawa-are you expecting yet?"

Naru exploded.

"We've been using protection!"

Motoko sighed.

"Well, stop it! Show some consideration for me. You have the great guy-now get yourself good and knocked up. Hmm-Urashima better have a sperm count done. Shinobu? Any chance you and Arlo did something behind our backs?"

The underage girl now felt more awkward than any incident with her Sempai had ever made her.

"Motoko, we made a promise to Alice-San. We hold that sacred."

Motoko rolled her eyes.

"What kind of world do we face, when college students and teenagers are keeping to safe sex and abstinence? Mutsumi, if you join with Naru and Kei in bed, can you at least get pregnant?"

Mutsumi braced herself against the wall to keep from fainting.

"You-you stay away from my brother, you harlot!"

Motoko was losing it ever further.

"Your brother? You mean Mister 'We'll wait until I'm comfortable with it'? Feh! His hesitancy is keeping me from making a nephew or niece for my sister. If he had any decency, he'd have used my post-Kei tension and jumped my bones by now. But no, he has to be all considerate and New Age. Mitsu, fly to Massachusetts immediately. Keith Ulster slept with everyone there but the young girls. I'll bet Nancy will be a sport for a good cause. What do you say, Mama Mitsune?"

Mitsu gestured, and the samurai girl dodged several lightning bolts. When Su saw Kenichi stare at this, she whispered.

"It's okay. Her great-granpa is..."

She whispered the name of the thunder god, and Kenichi nodded.

"All right. But if we meet him, don't mention that I always use Scorpion or Sub-Zero."

When a lesser bolt caught and shocked Motoko, Mitsu pointed at the spare room that was once Kei's bedroom.

"We have work to do, girl. Babies can wait."

Motoko was crying, but not from the electric shock.

"Oh-I miss him already. He's so cute-and I can tell he loves me."

Shinobu had the last word of that evening's escapades.

"Do each of us take turns going out of our minds?"

Whatever the truth of that, Mitsu and Motoko took exclusively to the project that some of the others only slowly realized had been brought up rather suddenly for the first time that night.

The next day saw Kei and Naru back in classes, extended a bit by playing catch-up from their various sabbaticals, with Mitsu giving her new assistant a laundry list of house checks he tore through with abandon, all with the promise that Su had a device meant to override the Human nervous system's involuntary functions. Mitsu and Motoko again vanished entirely after Motoko's morning rounds with Kei. Shinobu came home from school to find the Seta Family, with Grandma, Granpa and both Hina Juniors waiting for her.

"Pack some Onigiri for everybody, kid. It's time for me to torture your Sempai."

Shinobu would accede and make the rice balls as directed. But before this, she sank to her knees.

"Auntie, I ask that you torture me instead. He may have the timing of a missile with a faulty timer sometimes, but I really don't like seeing him hurt."

Awa Urashima seemed taken with this girl's devotion to his grandson, but Haruka would not relent.

"Shin-chan, you know I feel the same way. But if I don't occasionally make Kei squirm, he starts to worry if I still care. So this payback is taking place."

Shinobu squeezed little Hina Junior's cheek, with Hina-Junior-Mirai commenting how she was still doing that, even in her time. She then stopped at Sarah.

"Ummm, Hi, Sarah. So-has your sight come back yet?"

Sarah seemed genuinely traumatized, yet Shinobu didn't doubt she was also milking her condition for attention and sympathy.

"Is that you, Shinobu? No, not yet. Ooooh-old bodies writhing together-doing things to each other...yeeeh."

Grandma grabbed Granpa's hand.

"We surely were! Sarah-chan should learn to knock first."

Unable to resist a jab for her Sempai, Shinobu leaned in towards Sarah.

"Karma, much? Maybe now you'll show a little more respect to your elders."

The stone tablet that came at Shinobu was blocked by a frying pan. Shinobu twirled it in the air.

"Ohhhh...IT'S ON!"

Sarah's eyes seemed to regain focus-and an earthenware vase-as she jumped up.

"Bring it, Kitchen-Girl!"

As the two clashed, Seta leaned over to the future version of his daughter.

"Do they ever figure out where they pull those things out from?"

Hina-Jr.-Mirai nodded.

"Sure. The same place Immortals carry their swords."

"Oh, well. Ask a silly question..."

The fight ended as Sarah got her appetite back and Shinobu offered to get her something, a new closeness as always having come from two people trying to kill each other for no reason. Kei and Naru arrived home with Mutsumi, though Mitsu and Motoko were still out of sight. If anyone questioned this, they likely thought Motoko was cuddling her new nephew once again. Kei saw Haruka, and she nodded.

"It's tonight, Keitaro. I set up the venue."

When Naru realized this was about the elevator incident, she almost spoke up till Kei held up his hand to request she not.

"Will this settle the debt between us, Auntie?"

With a lollipop having taken the place of the cigarettes tobacco-hating Sarah kept stealing, Haruka shook her head.

"Not about a debt anymore. I just officially became a grown woman in every last respect, so I want a reminder of when we were kids. Just like when you were a little boy, alright? It'll be my baby shower gift."

Naru still fretted.

"We have got to start buying people actual presents. These substitutes skirt too many laws."

Mitsu couldn't resist.

"As opposed to assault and battery charges, Violent Girl?"

"Hey! Onsens have their own separate constitution and charter. Assault is only a felony if taken past the rule of fifty-foot punches."

Mitsu was not backing off.

"I think we're still on shaky ground there. Su was right-some of those beatdowns were like orgies."

Since Haruka could not be and Kei would not be talked out of it, the crew made for the assembly hall Haruka found, a center still in operation since her wild days.

"They used to show the Toho Champions Film Festivals here. That is, until they made that acid-trip movie about Hedorah's rampage. My Sempai at school saw that in a double-bill with Willy Wonka. The boat ride sequence combined with those falling skeletons put her in a bad way."

Her vengeance seemingly truly put aside, Haruka walked up to her nephew.

"Kei, I invited all the old crew, and they brought others. Really belt one out for Auntie, okay?"

Naru was immediately suspicious.

"Wait-his punishment is to sing a song in front of an audience? That's it? Kei, she's pulling something!"

Haruka sighed.

"I did just say I wasn't doing this for vengeance anymore, didn't I? Best muzzle yourself, girl."

Naru wasn't buying what the woman who partially raised her was selling, and her leash was decidedly off the collar.

"One knowing chuckle, one half-smile-JUST ONE self-satisfied remark during chaotic nonsense, and I will show you up close and personal all the sins I have committed against this special guy - by enacting every last one of them on your face."

The tension dissipated as quickly as it built up, but both women were clear in their glares. Kei stared as they parted, for now without coming to blows.

"Mutsumi, why did all that kinda turn me on?"

His oldest friend nodded.

"Because you're a guy, and your two girlfriends just exchanged hormonal threats on your behalf."

"She's not my girlfriend-she's my fiancée."

Mutsumi sighed, and Kei was guided to wear the suit and tie he would need for his performance. Mitsu and Motoko finally showed, and heard what happened.

"Challenging Auntie, Narusegawa? Not your wisest move."

Mitsu nodded.

"Ditto in spades on that one, Sis."

Naru spoke in even tones to her friends, but her anger was evident.

"Don't you guys get it? She's like a little girl tasking a naughty doll. Well, they're not that, either of them. I may not have a leg to stand on when it comes to not hurting Keitaro, but it's a stand I'll make anyway."

Mitsu summed up the dilemma.

"Naru, for Keitaro, she's part hot Oba-San, part second Mom, part first girlfriend, and while she never cuddled him when we gave him grief, she and Shinobu were like it for having his back till Mutsumi came. This war, you can't win."

Motoko looked at Mitsu, and both nodded as Motoko finished up.

"Nevertheless, we will keep an eye on our former House Mother, and join the battle if it should come, on your side."

"What she said, Naru."

The Urashimas and the residents of the Hinata-Sou were all seated in the front row. Hina Junior of the future held Hina Junior of the present-day close.

"Kid-we are about to witness an event I have only heard about in legend. Eh-I hope it lives up to the hype. You just remember to travel back for this, okay?"

Grandma held onto Grandpa's hand, knowing that his inevitable return would be quite soon, but simply enjoying what she had lost a quarter-century prior. Naru decided to play her suspicions right on her sleeve, and asked the event's organizer, seated next to Doctor Kashigawa, just what was going on, as the theater filled up behind them.

"So, Auntie? What is he going to sing?"

Haruka lit up a cigarette, a single concession from the watchful Sarah.

"See, my friends and I here once caught a live broadcast of an internationally renowned singer, and our love was apparent. Little Kei, determined boy that he was, worked the Betamax recording we made until he could perfectly imitate said singer. When he sang for us-it was breath-taking. I'll tell you, I nearly surrendered my duties as his aunt, and all my friends considered prison as worth it until Grandma pulled him out in time."

Shinobu now felt the ominous vibe Naru had spoken of.

"Auntie? Just who did Sempai imitate?"

Haruka was gaining exactly the same sort of sly knowing look that Naru had warned of, and showed that she just didn't care if they all knew it. Doctor Kashigawa and their older friends kept on saying 'Legal Now!' over and over again.

"Did I say imitate? I should have said channeled, or transmogrified. Hell, he became that singer."

Mitsu didn't need to sense the vibe. She saw right through the woman who had often seen right through her scams.

"Haruka-San? You tell us who that singer was, or I will bring the storm."

Haruka saw the curtains open.

"Tom Jones."

The sisters of the Sou all felt their blood freeze. Motoko shook her head.

"Will-will he sing 'It's Not Unusual'?"

"No-ope."

Mutsumi felt faint, but wanted to see this spectacle.

"Auntie? Is it 'What's New Pussycat?'"

"Not-that one."

The horn flourish began from the recorded instruments, and Su for her part ran the sounds through her laptop.

"Hmm. It says it's something called 'Help Yourself'."

Beside her, Kenichi and Sarah both gulped. Sarah looked pale.

"That song-I heard it once. It almost made me feel like a grown woman, and I only heard half of it!"

Kenichi had to breathe in.

"Oh, this is bad. The Mother Superior of the local convent by us forbid her sisters to ever listen to that song on pain of rulers on knuckles. Then they did anyway-and so did she! They-errr-assaulted some of the monks. Some resisted bravely. Some-didn't make it-or rather, they did make it. It is not something we discussed with outsiders."

But the final twist was not yet in. Mutsumi's brother Koichi arrived, and Motoko, her time consumed by the unknown project she and Mitsune were on, welcomed him with a light kiss.

"Koichi-San! I-I was afraid you wouldn't make it."

He sat down and drank from a water bottle.

"Almost didn't, Toko. I had to wade through that capacity crowd of slightly mature ladies to get up here-and they are grabby ones! Me, I didn't even know the local salarymens' wives had a club of their own."

Naru felt her world collapse around her.

"Salarymens' wives? Ne-Neglected, affection-starved, Salarymens' wives? AUNTIE, I WARNED YOU..."

But now the opening horn flourish ended, and Kei began to sing, as promised, in the voice and seemingly the spirit of Tom Jones. As Naru watched in horror, even Kei's body language spoke not of the nerd she loved and adored, but the man for whom generations of mothers and daughters had come to blows.

*Love is like candy on a shelf
You want to taste, then help yourself
The sweetest things are there for you
Help yourself, take a few
That's what I want you to do*

Naru saw him strolling, almost gliding across the stage. She smiled despite Auntie's seeming treachery. Why, she wondered, hadn't her sweet dorky man done this that first insane night three years ago? They'd have given him Shinobu, and she would have begged to be given, if he just kept singing like that. She immediately reprimanded herself for the thought, but the look on Shinobu's face told her that in fact this vile thought was the truth.

*We're always told repeatedly
The very best in life is free
And if you want to prove it's true
Baby, I'm telling you
This is what you should do*

The gliding stopped, and now his movements had a kind of power behind them. Naru heard the orgasmic moaning behind her, and realized the danger. But her gaze was fixed on a man she once wanted merely to vanish, or to make vanish.

*Just help yourself to my lips
To my arms just say the word, and they are yours
Just help yourself to the love
In my heart your smile has opened up the door

The greatest wealth that exists in the world
Could never buy what I can give
Just help yourself to my lips
To my arms and then let's really start to live
Alright, yeah*

Haruka's smile was a bit too snake-like, and Naru promised to get her revenge-for this revenge. A thumping sound was heard like a drum, and a scan from Su's laptop showed that it was the heartbeats of every woman in the room. Ominously, they were beating almost as one.

*My heart has love enough for two
More than enough for me and you
I'm rich with love, a millionaire
I've so much, it's unfair
Why don't you take a share*

The final chorus began, and Naru felt rumbling in the seats behind her. These women whose men were otherwise occupied were now getting ready to occupy her boyfriend-or more precisely, to be occupied by him.

*Just help yourself to my lips
To my arms just say the word, and they are yours
Just help yourself to the love
In my heart your smile has opened up the door

The greatest wealth that exists in the world
Could never buy what I can give
So help yourself to my lips, to my arms
And then let's really start to live

Just help yourself to my lips
To my arms just say the word, and they are yours
Just help yourself to the love
In my heart...*

At last he stopped, took a bow, while Haruka stood up and applauded. The other women all did the same, moaning in pleasure but not attacking. Haruka leaned over to Naru.

"See, girl? All under control. The brink of danger, but no one got hurt. Remember, the wild time I described was all in private, with friends. This is a public place. The only one on the stage with him is Shinobu."

Shinobu kissed him on the cheek, and smiled at her first love.

"Sempai, can you also sing..."

She whispered, he nodded.

"Sure thing, Shin-Chan. Ladies and Gentlemen, The King Of Rock And Roll!"

Naru looked at Haruka.

"Can he do Elvis?"

Haruka recalled something.

"Yeah, now that I think about it. But we were all too burned out on his Tom Jones to move anymore. He's pretty good at this one too. Could it be the same song?"

Motoko leaned over.

"Shinobu, what did you ask for?"

Shinobu smiled.

"I heard this song in a Nike sneaker Ad, and then saw someone made a video featuring anime characters from it. Couldn't recognize the girl on the keyboard, though. But she looked familiar."

Haruka now looked worried.

"Please don't tell me it's..."

Kei began, and the King was in the house.

*A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby*

Motoko nodded.

"It is indeed. Possibly the very best of Elvis' later films' music. Urashima will need to be defended. Are all of those salarymens' wives?"

Doctor Kashigawa winced.

"Some are salary-women. That's either better or worse-Oh, Ruka. You can never let it go, can you?"

Kei was now beginning to gyrate, and even the women who had known him for decades lost focus as he kept on.

*Baby close your eyes and listen to the music
Drifting through a summer breeze
It's a groovy night and I can show you how to use it
Come along with me and put your mind at ease

A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby*

Shinobu tried to remind herself ; for all her affection and respect, this man before her could be an utter fool on all levels. He had mortally embarrassed her, misread her feelings, and just seemed so hapless at times. She could handle what he was doing in front of her.

"Arlo-get here soon, and remind me of our promise-because I'm this close to...to..."

She could not handle what he was doing, and she was close to handling herself in that certain way.

*Come on baby I'm tired of talking
Grab your coat and let's start walking
Come on, come on
Come on, come on
Come on, come on
Don't procrastinate, don't articulate
Girl it's getting late, gettin' upset waitin' around

A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby*

Naru swore she could feel the seats rumbling behind her.

"Auntie-this should really stop."

Haruka for her part seemed flustered.

"Yeah-I didn't think he could take this bunch any further. Kei! Shut it down, kid. No need for an en-"

Kaolla Su all but jumped up in her seat.

"Encore, Onii-Chan! ENCORE! Sing 'I'm A Believer' from Shrek."

Kei shook his head. He was too pumped to hear Haruka's pleas.

"I don't really know that one, Su. But I know another one by the man who wrote that song."

Haruka wanted to choke Su, but instead asked her a question.

"Su-who wrote 'I'm A Believer'?"

Su's laptop was at work in a heartbeat.

"Okay-it says the song was written by a man named Diamond Neil. He wrote the song for a group of singing monkeys who got their own TV show. Wow-that must have been amazing."

Mitsu breathed a sigh of relief.

"We're cool. Neil Diamond is a kick-back, relax in the autumn kind of guy. Nothing like Tom Jones or Elvis."

Mutsumi's eyes went wide.

"Not all of his stuff is that. My grandmother used to swoon when she listened to him sing...then again she was always swooning. Very odd habit."

Kei began another pitch-perfect imitation. To the horror of those who knew the song.

*Melinda was mine
'Til the time that I found her
Holding Jim, loving him
Then Sue came along, loved me strong
That's what I thought
Me and Sue, but that died too

Don't know that I will
But until I can find me
The girl who'll stay
And won't play games behind me
I'll be what I am
A solitary man, solitary man*

Su had already looked up the song.

"That's weird. This song is about a man who is repeatedly hurt, used and treated contemptuously by a group of cruel, heartless, sadistic women. Why would Onii-Chan have learned a song like that?"

Mitsu looked at her and responded, only to be cut off by the next verses.

"Are you kidding me? Have you even read this mang-"

*I've had it to here
Bein' where love's a small word
Part-time thing, paper ring
I know it's been done
Havin' one girl who'll love me
Right or wrong, weak or strong

Don't know that I will
But until I can find me
The girl who'll stay
And won't play games behind me
I'll be what I am
A solitary man, solitary man*

In a daze, Naru stood up and shook her fist.

"Where is this woman who mistreated you? I'll tear her limb from limb!"

Motoko sat her back down.

"Logistically dicey at best, Narusegawa."

Naru blushed with sudden realization.

"Toko-he has to stop. I slipped-but these ladies are on oiled-up banana peels-no, Su, there aren't really any bananas here."

*Don't know that I will
But until I can find me
The girl who'll stay
And won't play games behind me
I'll be what I am
A solitary man
Solitary man*

Shinobu slapped her hands together, and breathed deeply.

"Okay-it's done. Auntie-we all already love him, and I'm seeing a nice boy I like-and even I'm getting some very bad ideas. This is becoming uncontrollable."

Haruka looked at a drooling Sarah. The girl was grinning a slasher's special.

"Mom? Kei's only my cousin legally, right?"

Haruka thought fast.

"He's secretly your twin brother-born about thirteen years before you."

Fast is not always good. Haruka realized she had to act.

"Kei! Down here now! Even the Beatles eventually broke up!"

But over the cooing ladies in the audience, Kei could only hear her partially.

"The Beatles? Sure thing, Auntie!"

Naru was rubbing her head, and Motoko looked at Haruka.

"You, who have known him longer than any of us? Did you forget who you were dealing with?"

She had no answer. It seemed that, even when he did precisely as he was asked, Kei couldn't help but attract chaos. Said chaos now took the form of Shinobu's boyfriend, Arlo.

"Sorry I'm late. Grandfather has been aiding Mother in finding the best prices for her restaurants, and I got caught up. Did I miss anything?"

Shinobu took his hand, both for affection and for strength.

"Sempai-was about to sing a Beatles song. Hopefully not 'I Want To Hold Your Hand' or 'I Saw Her Standing There'."

Not having been informed of Haruka's original plan, Arlo merely thought the objection was to those specific songs. He shouted.

"Sempai Kei? How about 'Please Please Me'?"

He stopped shouting.

"No, wait. That one would require more singers. It's not one of their solo-oriented pieces."

But Kei again had only caught part of it.

"Good choice, Arlo-folks, here's my grand finale!"

The ladies of the Hinata-Sou, past and present, sat down and prepared for the worst. Each gave Arlo a glare. He gulped.

"What'd I say?"

For her part, the future version of Little Hinata whispered to her great-grandmother and namesake.

"This is why I stuck around."

Hinata the elder shrugged.

"Shouldn't you stop this, if you know what happens?"

"Sorry, Grandma. Like I said, this one isn't the deck chairs-it's the iceberg."

Kei began the song, and lit the fuse.

*Last night I said these words to my girl
I know you never even try, girl
C'mon (C'mon), c'mon (C'mon), c'mon (C'mon), c'mon (C'mon)
Please please me, whoa yeah, like I please you

You don't need me to show the way, love
Why do I always have to say "love"
C'mon (C'mon), c'mon (C'mon), c'mon (C'mon), c'mon (C'mon)
Please please me, whoa yeah, like I please you.*

Mitsune rose, and for once her chaos was not Kitsune-based.

"If she won't treat you right, Bro-I will!"

Naru growled, feeling helpless and increasingly afraid.

"Mitsu, you're not helping!"

Kenichi whispered to Su.

"She's not really his sister, right?"

Su chuckled.

"Not by blood, silly. See, he's an immortal by way of two different curses he inherited without the cursed part-so did Auntie Haruka and the new baby-while Mitsu is the daughter of two Kitsunes and two minor deities, each of whom in each family can only have one of them sire or bear a child-in fact Kanako is really her sister by blood, and I think their great-grandfather is a guy from Tekken or Soul Calibur or something."

Kenichi asked no more, and in this one instance he showed great wisdom. Shinobu was still curious, though.

"Mutsumi? How is it Sempai is singing backup to himself in four different voices, which sound like an odd mix of Japanese and Liverpudlian?"

"It's why we love him, Shin-Chan."

"Umm, that doesn't really answer my question."

*I don't wanna sound complaining
But you know there's always rain in my heart (In my heart)
I do all the pleasing with you, it's so hard to reason
With you, whoah yeah, why do you make me blue

Last night I said these words to my girl
I know you never even try, girl
C'mon (C'mon), c'mon (C'mon), c'mon (C'mon), c'mon (C'mon)
Please please me, whoa yeah, like I please you
(Me) Whoa yeah, like I please you
(Me) Whoa yeah, like I please you*

The classic song ended, and with that, the dam broke. The amped-up ladies surged forward, breaking seats and pillars as they went. The sisters of the Sou jumped on stage to protect their brother from things best not described, even in a Mature Readers piece. Motoko sized up their position.

"There are too many of them, and not enough of us. Urashima, RUN!"

Rather than a panicked, crying effort at fleeing, Kei looked about him confusedly.

"Hey-what's got those ladies so worked up?"

*Yes, thought Naru, I am officially engaged to a brick.*

Just as all seemed lost, they were joined on stage by Haruka, Emily Kashigawa, and all their friends. One short-haired woman pointed.

"Back off and return to your husbands! This boy has been our boyfriend since he was a baby-he was the first to ever grope me. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

As the ladies surged forward, a curly-haired woman nodded.

"Haruno? They're passing."

The battle was joined. Shinobu wielded her skillet, and the curly-hair shouted to her.

"Let's be showy! Switch weapons!"

Shinobu tossed her skillet, and in return received a wok. She smiled.

"Lighter and easy to swing."

Motoko found herself beside a woman wielding nunchukus.

"You hold your balance very well with those things."

"Thanks-I know your sword is probably a family artifact, but I might want to take a look at your bokken."

So it went, as the hungry-or horny-hordes just kept coming. Finally, one of the attackers shouted.

"Forget him! John Travolta has been sighted across town!"

Breaking more rows of seats and pillars, the raging crowd went looking to get greased up with some Saturday night fever. When they had all left, Su closed her laptop and smiled.

"It is soooo easy to plant rumors on the internet!"

They all laughed, except Kei, who still looked badly confused. Naru walked up to Haruka.

"Auntie, about what I said before?"

Haruka chuckled.

"It's okay, girl. I know you didn't mean it."

Naru hauled off and punched Haruka into a nearby wall.

"Nah. Actually, I meant every word. Now we're..."

Haruka fell off the wall, landed on her feet, and jump kicked into Naru's chest with both feet.

"No, now we're even. Do not do that again, Naru-chan. I love you like a daughter, but I swear..."

No one was going to finish many sentences that evening. Naru socked Haruka in the gut.

"You mean how you love him so much, you lied to him and set him up?"

The current Sisters Of The Sou were about to jump in, but their past counterparts stopped them. The one called Haruno gestured broadly.

"Forget it. This has been brewing for a while. No one interferes."

Haruka blocked Naru's next punch, grabbed both her hands and head-butted her.

"I am not going to be lectured by a single one of the girls I raised, and especially not you!"

Naru swept her and knocked her back again with a hard elbow rush.

"Save it, lady. My stupid hateful past does not give you the right to hurt him."

"He wasn't hurt, you idiot! We averted all that-mostly. This place is trashed, though. Besides, he agreed to serve his punishment for ohhh-STRIPPING ME NUDE in front of countless shoppers at the Mall?"

Emily Kashigawa, who had heard the full story of that incident, noted the logic problem her old friend and sparring partner had in that statement, but saved it for a rainy day.

"Auntie, I won't even dignify that with a response. Whatever happened, you told him he wasn't being punished anymore. You know he'll believe whatever you tell him. Why go out of your way to make him believe this is all in fun, when he could have been torn apart, which would either make his immortality moot-or-errrr-wow-some not-so-nice implications there."

Haruka pulled out her trump card, or so she thought.

"Kei! Tell your girl not to hit your favorite Auntie!"

Keitaro looked pale, but he did speak up.

"Auntie, I'dve done this for you just because you asked. In our lives, do we really need another pointless scheme that leaves a place like this in rui-Oh My God! Su, calculate this building's structural integrity!"

They all turned and looked at the girl on her laptop as she crunched the numbers.

"Ummmm-98 Percent."

All breathed a sigh of relief, until Su closed her laptop and added something.

"Yeah-building integrity was definitely reduced by 98 Percent-maybe 99."

Kenichi looked up at the creaking ceiling.

"Even I'm not this crazy. I think we should leave."

Arlo asked Shinobu to hop on his back, and she did not raise any objection to this. All fled, till Haruka pointed in horror.

"The baby! I left the baby!"

Naru ran back and looked around.

"I can't find her! Where is-"

Back near the exit, Haruka pointed to the baby in Sarah's arms, and smiled as they all walked out. Then the ceiling fell.

"Naru!"

Kei stared dejectedly, as the condemned building fell earlier than scheduled. A fist punched through the debris, and Naru ran to her man. The sharp looks between her and Haruka broke into laughter.

"I guess I'm still a violent girl at heart."

"Yeah, well, Auntie has trouble letting go, obviously. You work on punch-punch, and I'll talk with Emi about not being so me all the time."

Sarah wisely rolled her eyes at this, rather than saying 'Good Luck On That', which would have gotten her swatted again. But she did ask Kei a question.

"Did any of those ladies actually get to you?"

"Well, one pawed me constantly, but I couldn't see who it was."

Granpa Awa pointed.

"I know who it was."

Grandma shrugged.

"Grandson or no grandson, he was singing Tom Jones. A woman must react in that circumstance."

Sarah felt her stomach turn, and she was not the only one.

"I may have to flee with the baby."

But it was the baby's all-grown-up counterpart who stepped forward.

"Folks, seeing you all like this has been a dream come true for me. I left a recorded message for Kei and the ladies back at the Sou. You'll know when the time is right to read it. But I have to go back now, and so does someone else."

Awa and Hinata The Elder kissed.

"I will await you."

Grandma hugged her man.

"Please do. Because the next time will be it. I hereby order my family members to accept it this time, when it does. So Kami Be Invoked."

As Kei and Awa shook hands, Future Hina Junior hugged her Mom.

"Where's Dad? Off on a dig?"

Haruka shrugged.

"Not this time. He knew you might be leaving soon. He wasn't sure he could say goodbye. Hell, I'm not sure I can. I think maybe this harebrained scheme was my way of forgetting that I'd be missing you soon. Your Great-Uncle Kenjiro felt the same about Granpa."

Sarah jumped into her little sister's arms, and the two Hina Juniors also gave and got a hug to each of themselves. Then, the travelers departed, the time machine cloaked and ready.

1978

His adventurous great-granddaughter departed, Awa Urashima lay back down in his granddaughter's bed, shielding her from death, and having even fewer regrets than he had prior.

"My grandson will have his own harem. Annnd...apparently get beat up a lot."

Little Haruka looked up.

"Granpa? Do you think me and the new baby will be friends?"

"Yes, Ruka-chan-maybe even too close, sometimes."

*Legal Or Not*, he thought, *Those two just creeped me out in that way.*

With renewed purpose, he awaited the end, and prepared to watch over what would prove to be an interesting future.

"Granpa?"

"Yes, Ruka?"

"I have to go to the bathroom."

Luckily, the avatars of eternity knew how to plan destiny's path around a child's potty needs.

2022

Hina Junior's permission for her trip had been, it seemed, somewhat dubious.

"Do you have any idea how irresponsible that was? Odds are, you've already altered the timeline. Did you know that the American version of Sailor Moon is cancelled in the new history?"

Hina Junior shook her head.

"Su-Nee? It was cancelled before I left, too. Fans on both sides of the Pacific hated it."

The Queen Of Molmol, Inc. snapped her fingers.

"Oh, Yeah-a Saban show-no harm done. By the way, did you remove the machine's power cells? Because Ema escaped from the Asylum again. Really, that place is worse than Arkham."

"Yeah, Su-Nee-I also set the proximity mines for her DNA presence."

Explosions rang out from the lab. An angry voice followed.

"Damn you both!"

Su called back to the lab.

"Shinobu is a soccer Mom in the states, and runs a food network, Ema. I think she and Arlo will work out-and it's been 15 years, now."

A burnt, bandaged hand pointed out from the lab.

"There is still hope. She will be mine! I never surren..."

More explosions rang out. Hina Junior shrugged.

"I must have set some mines by the doorway, too."

Su sighed.

"I'll call Kanako. She understands these things."

2002

A few weeks passed, and no further attacks came. Auntie's baby played with Tsuruko's baby, and hints of a relationship to come already were visible to some. But if terror from other times and spaces were lacking, historic moments at the Hinata-Sou were not. Grandma regarded the pair before her. She was soon to resume her journeys, but she would not go alone.

"Well, really, this is Kei's decision. He is manager and owner again, and I can only advise."

Shinobu was too excited to take her gentle teasing in stride. She rose with her hands together as though to plead.

"But Grandma! This isn't just for me. This is the next logical step in the Hinata-Sou's evolution. You know we'll adhere to every promise we made, and every rule Sempais lay down to us."

Hinata looked at Arlo.

"I know you'll try. I expect that you'll try. In fact, I demand it. I guided one daughter through an early pregnancy. I really don't feel like doing it again."

Arlo blushed, and even seemed a little upset.

"Mrs. Urashima - I'd dishonor Shinobu and my mother - who by the way and as you well know has drummed those same lessons into me. We've both had sex ed-and despite what some old-fashioned minds think of those classes, they do teach that the only absolute guarantee against pregnancy and disease is not to do it at all. Shinobu has a brilliant career ahead of her - I would never chain either of us down through foolishness."

Hinata cupped his cheek.

"I will support your request to my grandson. But you, my boy, must gather your family to journey with me as we make a pilgrimage."

"Of course, Grandma."

"But Arlo-to you both I also say, your intentions are good, your morals are strong, and your lessons are well-learned, and all that will mean nothing as you find there are moments that you could start with each other as a man and a woman. The watchful eyes will not be so watchful, the urges will be stronger, this or that crisis will make stopping short harder, and you will wonder anew just why it is you have to wait."

Despite her earlier words, Shinobu challenged the woman she adored, at least a bit.

"Well, Sempais aren't waiting. I get the impression Auntie and Seta didn't."

Hinata was prepared for this.

"Both waited until they were at least well on the path to their dreams or goals. Waiting doesn't mean never, Shin-Chan. It doesn't even mean marriage, though I and your parents would of course prefer that. It means cold hard wisdom - and a lot of cold showers - until you don't make an investment that is as much an emotional bond as a physical one that you are simply not ready for. Babies and illnesses? These happen, and can be prepared for in some fashion. But what happens when you can no longer be without each other, and every step you make is defined by this new closeness? What if the experience has one of you feeling even closer, and one more now distant? Don't assume that any reaction is exclusively that of a boy or girl. Sex is not inherently life and death, but make no mistake, it is inherently change."

As the children (and they were still that, even if young adulthood was in the offing) considered her words and gathered Arlo's family for Hinata's journey, Grandma attended to a set of idle hands.

"Kenichi-San? You have nothing to do?"

The frantic boy nodded.

"My parents won't return from China for another two months, so I can't reconcile with them, though that shouldn't be a problem - they never really noticed I was gone. Konno-San has run out of things for me to do. Arlo-San's mother has a laundry list for the properties she is selling off or subletting, but she can't let me near them till whole forests of papers have been signed and checked by an army of bureaucrats. Please, Grandma-Dono, I am a desperate man. Even Princess-San is busy helping Konno-San and Aoyama-San with something they won't tell anyone about."

Grandma smiled, and tossed him a key. She then told him what it was for. Kenichi smiled.

"That is amazing! Why does this exist?"

Grandma kept it simple.

"Call it an old safeguard. You may also find materials there with which to restore the Tea Room ahead of Mitsu-chan buying the goods herself. I'll have Shinobu hard-boil you some eggs to get you through. There are also some fruit trees where you are going."

Hina wasn't being cruel in this. The boy still had an absolutely monkish appetite.

"It will be done, Grandma-Dono. The food is appreciated, but the work is even more so."

He scouted the area described, and Hinata had Shinobu set up a basket for Kenichi's effort. By the time all this was done, Arlo's reunited family and Hinata were joined by Sarah, who was her usual polite self.

"Yeah. I had to get out of a house that smells like baby poop."

In fact, there was another reason for her presence, but Hinata kept that to herself for then and there. Maintaining a few paces ahead of the others, Shinobu asked Grandma the same question in a different form.

"Grandma, I just get anxious. I don't want to die having never...never having...umm..."

"Silly girl! Why would you of all people talk of dying?"

Shinobu blushed from what she just didn't say, and continued.

"We almost lost you. The Hilda Inn folks lost their Grandma. Someone even tried to steal Little Hina. Arlo and I aren't ageless immortals, you know. What if we lose our nerve and wait too long?"

Hinata rolled her eyes.

"I don't see that as a concern. Really. And who's ageless around here?"

Shinobu started counting on her fingers.

"Increasingly, half the main cast."

Hinata realized the girl's misconception.

"Child, Immortality is more common than you think, but only rarely does it mean unkillable or truly deathless. I would have been pulverized against the New Jersey Palisades, if Keitaro hadn't saved me. My daughter and son-in-law died in a simple accident, all because they did not understand their own nature. Kei broke his leg when he was at a low ebb. Whatever Mitsune truly can be classified as, she pushed her liver into dangerous territory more than once. Again with Kei and Ruka-aren't they older now than when you first knew them? If those two think they are ageless, know that time will catch up with them. They may in fact live much longer than many, but against the Earth and the Universe, what is the oldest person in existence?"

This seemed to satisfy Shinobu, but Hinata reminded herself to have her children keep a close on those two - the kind of close eye she did not keep on her daughter Tarika, Haruka's mother, and the kind of eye she almost failed to keep on Haruka herself.

*Someday, if I need to, Shin-Chan, I will tell you of some near misses my Ruka had, watching test strips, ready to explode if they were positive.*

"She's not a bad girl, Hina-San, and my son's not a bad boy."

Hina smiled.

"And..."

Alice sighed as she saw Arlo and Shinobu delight from simply walking together again.

"Yeah. Good kids, too. Same as bad. Same as me, though I knew what I did was wrong. But those really are two great kids. Why am I so worried?"

Hina had been trying to get Alice to join her as she resumed her journey around the world, but worrying about Arlo was obviously putting a damper on this.

"Shinobu recently, in essence, lost the first great love of her life to a woman she herself has always considered to be ideal. Arlo had held his resentment of your misguided actions towards him, perhaps causing ultimately the reunion of your family. Both have now found each other, and in that all their pain and fear has ceased. Add to that, teenagers just naturally want to jump each others' bones. I think that they are not only in love, but situation-wise, almost irresistible to each other. Theirs will be a hard slog, and this will also be so for those who must watch over their moments of weakness."

Alice shook her head more sharply.

"Then I cannot go. My boy needs me, and so does his lovely girl, who I wouldn't mind calling daughter when the time is right. But it can all go so wrong. Young people always start too soon. Even without pregnancy or illness, there is disappointment and jealousy. How can I leave him?"

Hinata tilted her head in regards.

"Your son is a better man than his father."

"My Arlo is-is the man I once thought his father was!"

Alice found her own words nearly hateful, but Hinata chuckled slightly.

"It seems that Haruka is not the only one who has trouble letting go of the boyfriend she helped raise."

Alice frowned, but then caught herself and broke into a smile as well.

"At least they can marry legally. My illness is an abomination in all civilized countries."

Hinata patted her younger friend on the back.

"I have told those two it would still break their grandmother's heart, and then made them think I was serious. As for you, still just past being a girl when you had your boy? Like the two I just mentioned, you in a way grew up together. But its time you parted ways."

Alice still seemed hesitant.

"Let me see him into Todai. Their promise expires after that, anyway."

Hinata wasn't buying.

"Just into Todai, then just through Todai, then their wedding, your first grandchild-Alice-chan, take it from someone who always found a reason to delay - you won't easily get the time you lose back again. Stress is why you hurt and berated your son. You need this trip, and I need a companion on it. So there."

"So not there, Hina-San! I need to watch over him just a little longer, to keep those two back from all the biggest mistakes - not everything, that's impossible - but certainly the topmost problems."

A third voice now entered the conversation, while Shinobu and Arlo fell further back, but never out of sight.

"Then let me watch over my grandson, Alice. I rode herd on his deceitful, prevaricating father. I can do so easily for a more decent sort who wants to do the right thing and knows what that is."

Hiro looked like he was prepared to kneel before his daughter if he had to.

"Father-I was going to suggest that you go with Hinata."

Hiro smiled.

"I caused the stress in your life that made you need this trip. I'm older now - I need the work more than I need to see the world, which I did as a younger man anyway. My only desire is to pay you back for all the harm I've done. You must let me do this."

Alice was about to raise a thousand objections and rework the same three arguments all over again. But this man humbling himself to give her relief came very close to being one of her dreams, and this she could not spurn.

"None of that manly wink-and-nod stuff, Papa. You keep them on their studies and off each other-errr, mostly. No need to be an ogre. But how will you live?"

Hiro shrugged.

"On my very generous pension. I'm still my former boss's father-in-law, and have enough on him to make his life very hellish. I'll spend some of the money he made bilking his customers and employees on the son he never acknowledged and his sweet girlfriend. My apartment has three bedrooms. They can stay there sometimes, together but not too much so."

The tender moment wasn't broken or interrupted, but it was moved on from by Sarah's words, which caused Shinobu and Arlo to catch up with the others.

"Grandma? Is that a house? I thought this was the most deserted abandoned path ever."

Hinata knew this might happen. She looked daggers at the overgrown house.

"It was once a home, or it tried to be. In it lived a little tyrant, a man who regularly crushed his children and troubled his women. In an era where all men did this to an extent, he was still scorned by other men, even those who agreed with his reactionary and treasonous politics against the Chrysanthemum Throne. He built a house here, because he wanted to seal the world out. At his word, drunken thugs killed the nicest foreign invader a little girl ever knew and loved."

Hina began to twirl her walking stick, and all moved back as she struck the ground in tears.

"Forgive me, house - you were always a sturdy friend, but this must be done!"

A wave of force built up from the ground, moving slowly forward until it was a wave that blew the old ruin to smithereens. Hinata nodded.

"We still have ground to cover. Hop to it! Sarah! No picking through the remains. This is a dead place. Let it be so truly."

Grandma had not seen Sarah find and pocket a small picture, one whose image made her eyes go wide before she turned back to and rejoined the others.

"It-it looks just like him. But it's so old."

As they walked ever farther down a path whose remoteness Sarah had not been exaggerating, Hinata saw small carvings made in trees.

"We're just about there. One more mile. Maybe two or three. Five tops."

Younger and older groaned a bit at this, but Hinata had no sympathy.

"I'm sorry-but when I said pilgrimage, did you think I meant to a local Pancake and Cod House?"

But indeed, less than a mile further, a Red Kaede Tree grew where none had been seen locally.

"Everyone, I ask you to pray for the spirit of USN Seaman First Class Samuel McDougal, my friend and Onii-chan who was almost worth bearing a curse for."

Sarah walked up in wonder and touched the tree, realizing why she had been asked to come.

"Hi, Uncle Sam. Wow-did I just say that? But anyway, it's good to meet you. By the way, Grandma and Granpa got you cleared of desertion charges thirty years ago. Maybe you knew that, but in case you didn't-be at peace."

Shinobu stepped forward next.

"I thank you for the spirit of courage you gave my Grandma, and that she in turn gave to her grandson, my Sempai. I will carry on that courage and pass it to all my children-who it seems may be a while in getting here, given how everyone watches us-not that I'm not grateful for this-mostly. Be at peace."

Alice spoke for her whole family.

"You caused Hinata to be turned out from her home. But this caused her to one day build a home where no one is turned out from-including me. Thank you for beginning her journey, and as has been said, may your spirit know peace. So Kami Be Invoked."

All now spoke as one.

"So Kami Be Invoked."

After a time of unspoken prayer-filled silence, the group left. When they reached a proper clearing, Sarah summoned her Mecha-Sama, and no one, even Hinata, objected to a ride in the pink turtle. They even stopped for Pancakes and Cod. Back at the Sou, Grandma was as good as her word, and no one raised an objection as Kei announced a dramatic change in the existence of the residence.

"He has agreed to abide by our rules, and to show respect and discretion-and above all else, knock first. If he sees something he shouldn't, he will turn around and walk away quickly. He has also vowed to treat one of our greatest treasures with the love and patience she deserves. So the siblings of the Sou now accept into our midst - a new brother. May he get punched just a little less than the first one."

"Really, Sempai? Patience with me?"

"Oh, Bro, you loved every last pounding."

"An okay speech-for a dork."

"A new Onii-Chan-what a kick-maybe literally."

"Teach him how to calm a nose bleed, Urashima - we don't need a rerun."

Mutsumi was absent, but left a dish of freshly sliced watermelon out as a snack, with a welcome card. Naru hugged Arlo and mussed his hair.

"We get a bit rough and tumble here, little brother. Think you're up for it?"

"I am, Sempai. I will not allow myself to view so much as an ounce of hidden flesh."

Naru shook her head.

"Where's the fun in that? Just for that, boy-we have to leave our doors even further open, even when we're changing."

Her smile as she winked still left Arlo with doubts, but they were good, fun doubts.

"Sempai Kei? I'm sorry Otohime-san couldn't be here. She always makes the place seem more lively."

Kei pulled his 'little brother' aside. Arlo assumed this was yet another warning/plea regarding him and Shinobu, but he was far off in this.

"Arlo-can you help me to clear the main living area of all furniture this Friday? We're preparing for something. That's the real reason Mutsumi's not here."

Arlo nodded.

"Of course, Sempai. But what are we preparing for?"

Kei looked around him to see that they were out of casual earshot, then spoke.

"I guess you could say it's for a séance."

Arlo immediately felt a bit afraid, given all he'd seen and now knew was possible.

"Whose ghosts are you trying to contact, Sempai?"

Kei's answer unnerved the young man even further.

"Our own."

Owing to his status as the newest resident, Arlo did not snark as he might have about how cryptic and vague that statement was. But he did ask an even bolder question.

"Sempai, do you love Shin-chan?"

Keitaro took a moment, but answered firmly.

"Do you really think it's possible not to love her, Arlo? Of course I do."

Arlo had taken note of the lack of honorific, but allowed it because Kei was his landlord, elder, guide into Todai, and Sempai to the one he held dear.

"Could you and she have ended up together? Please - no words about her age. I know you would have waited on that, and since I can barely wait, I think I revere you for your restraint."

Kei shook his head.

"Her age was always a factor, Arlo. It can't be gotten around. She was always incredibly cute to me, and frankly, when I was her age, no girl like her thought I was worth pushing past, let alone anything else. But while certain things are allowable, on certain others, there must be a line."

Arlo showed at least some of his frustration.

"But that doesn't really answer my question. Do you think you could have become engaged to Shinobu, instead of Sempai Naru?"

Kei gave in.

"Of course. We now know that alternate universes exist. That's kind of why we're doing what we're doing this Friday. But could it have happened here, in the world we know? No. Not because she isn't so many wonderful things, but because we both had growing up to do when we first met. Maybe if either of us had been more mature, who knows? I frankly despaired at times of even making the other ladies tolerate me, except for Su. Shinobu was a source of light and joy when I just didn't get the situation we were in, and even an idiot like me could see she was only going to grow more beautiful. But in this case, in the life we get, my match was Naru. She and I were opposites in more ways than one, but those opposites met up to form the other part of the puzzle. Shinobu may think that this or that thing made my choice for me on her part. But it wasn't any crying jag, frying skillet or kick in the nuts that did it. I guess - she and I were too much alike for us to be a lifetime together. Am I making any sense?"

Arlo finally smiled.

"Yes, Sempai. I guess-I just feel so lucky that she even wants me-around-yes, around, that's what I meant to say - that I see the man she regards as her ex right in front of me and wonder if he simply couldn't claim her by wanting it."

Kei's mind had already started figuring out where to put the furniture when they moved it.

"Relax, kid. Sempai's a jerk sometimes, but never that big a jerk. Anything else?"

"Yes. If you can sing in such a manner as you did recently, why didn't you simply use it to ingratiate yourself with the ladies here, when they first wanted you to leave?"

If Kei danced around the prior question, this one he found easy.

"In school, somebody discovered I could do those pitch-perfect imitations. All of sudden I went from zero to hero. Instantly popular. But none of it belonged to me. It was all a trick I could do with my voice. In the end, the ladies here deserved better than a trick, especially after I lied to them - especially Shin-Chan. I hurt her with my lie."

"But Sempai, wasn't that lie because Haruka-Oba jumped to conclusions?"

Kei finished up.

"Whatever Auntie thought, I could have instantly cleared up, if I had the will. Now - let's you and I try and lift some of this furniture, to see what we're up against. Like the man said, a little less conversation."

So the two lifted, checking for balance and weight distribution. They measured pieces and doorways, determining how much clearance they would really need. They saw what units could be taken apart easily, for quicker and less awkward transport. They checked some areas to move the furniture to, seeing that things stored in those areas would also need to be reorganized to fit it. They also calculated what pieces would be best left in the living area, simply moved away from the center, for how difficult they would be each way.

The young man and the younger man felt a bond developing over the young woman they both cared for, and for having a male friend to broach subjects one just didn't with their ladies. But one more turn Kei hadn't expected came up just as Arlo and he finished with the preliminaries of this move.

"Kei-Sempai?"

"Yes, Arlo?"

The younger man now seemed to be blushing.

"You are very fortunate to have so beautiful, lively and talented a fiancée as Naru-Sempai. There, I have said it!"

Kei grabbed Arlo by the shoulders and waited till he opened his eyes. He looked more curious than upset.

"How long?"

Arlo sat down, looking and apparently feeling ashamed.

"For a few months now. I asked Sempai-Naru if all the stories Shin told were true, and she told me even more. At first, I thought you were all insane, you two most of all."

Kei had come to expect this.

"Keep going."

Arlo did just that.

"But she spoke so tenderly and without jealousy of your love for the other ladies and how they returned this, and most especially Shin. At first, I had wondered how she tolerated your intrusions, and you her casual violence. Then I saw how you fit together, like you said. I also saw how your love had in a way given birth to Shin as she now is. I saw her through new eyes, and then I stared imagining- Ohhh-I am crushing on my girlfriend's mother?"

Kei clamped a hand over his young friend's mouth, and looked around.

"Arlo? Naru has changed her ways. But-if she ever hears you refer to her as ANYONE's mother before she is one by me, I cannot guarantee your life. Nod if you understand."

He did, and Kei released his grip.

"As to the rest-let's just call it even."

The day of the séance - for want of a better term - came, and to support them came Koichi, who with Kenichi and Arlo, promised to keep the Sou's perimeter clear of disturbances and visitors. In this endeavor, they could not be interrupted. Mutsumi began, for this was her show.

"What we're about to attempt is kind of forbidden, or it would be if we were doing this without provocation. But since we were attacked by them, under whatever circumstances, the door is open. We may not like what we find, and there may still be consequences for going on through. Are we all agreed?"

Mitsu gave her nod.

"We need to know who we're up against - and I'd like to know why they made me cringe like that."

Su seemed more sympathetic.

"We know they're under someone's control. They need our help - and the other me needs dental work. I think she had a fang or something."

Naru was her polar opposite in this.

"That other Naru-I hate her. I take one look at her, and I want to just pulp that know-it-all face into dog meat."

Motoko raised the obvious objection.

"If all you know of her is those instances of attack, how can you judge her fairly? She was with her Keitaro, so they must be together in some fashion. Also, is it possible that, like so many of us, you judge most harshly in others what you see in yourself?"

Naru folded her arms, a signal to friends and lover that her mind was made up.

"Maybe. Maybe it's also possible that she's just a pure-grade bitch, and nothing more."

Shinobu wisely side-stepped all this with a question, despite feeling somewhat similarly to the other girl who looked like her.

"Mutsumi-San? How can we find out what we need to know from a séance? Those other people aren't dead, that we know of."

The turned heads told Mutsumi that this was not a question held by Shinobu alone.

"I thought I explained this-no wait, I took a sudden nap. I grabbed the softest pillow I could find-or was that you, Kei? OH-Naru pried me off with a crowbar. Sorry. Alright, it's like this : No, they are alive as far as we know. But ghosts aren't merely the spirits of people that died. They can be the spirits of those not yet born, or those that were never born. Our doppelgangers - I hope not literally - are so alien to our world and universe, they left an imprint by their very presence, even if they weren't here for very long. We won't be able to see everything about them, but maybe if we're lucky we can see enough. I will sit at the center of our circle, Naru and Kei on either side of me, and Shinobu and Su on either side of them. Mitsu and Motoko will complete the circle and offer us protection from darker spirits, since a kendo warrior and a goddess should scare off most things this side of the Ancient Destroyer."

Before anyone could question that reference, Mutsumi broke into a smile.

"Don't ask. It's really quite complicated, and at times, hard to follow. Now - Spirits, I am the center. Beside me is the Fury, wrathful but protective. Beside me is the Fool, easy to dismiss but impossible to break. Beside them are The Heart and The Mind. Beyond them lie the Warrior and The Divine. We seek not contact, but vision. Aid us if you will, and I plea you do not block us otherwise. So Kami Be Invoked, show us those that walked and talked as us, but who were not us and tried to do us harm. Our redress is knowledge, and we are united in this journey."

Kei looked about him.

"Mutsumi, it doesn't seem to be working...Mitsu?"

Mitsune tugged on Kei's arm and pointed.

"Bro, just shut up and take a gander at him!"

The Keitaro of the other place, the one with the odd glasses, entered the Hinata-Sou with bags in hand. He began calling out, but no one could hear his words. Naru shook her head.

"What, this picture has no sound?"

A very familiar pattern emerged, with alt-Keitaro quickly relaxing in the onsen, only to find himself with a companion. Kaolla Su quickly picked up on something.

"Umm, why can't I see Onii-Chan's privates? I was kind of looking forward to it."

For the moment, everyone dismissed this as another Su-ism, but her observation would come up again.

"What-is she doing?"

Naru pointed at her panicking counterpart, running for her life and, she believed, her honor, with something still firmly in hand.

"Aaaaggghhh! She's dragging him along by his thing!"

Su nodded.

"And we still don't get to see it! Are alternate universes censored or something?"

Naru shook her head at Alt-Naru's 'grabbiness'.

"Witch! You don't get to complain about a pervert while providing him with continued servicing. Kei? Didn't I stop, once I realized?"

Kei thought back.

"I think maybe I got one or two more confirmation squeezes - we were kind of riding the rails there, reaction-wise - luckily the situation made me shrivel on all fronts pretty quickly."

Shinobu was also seeing something odd, but not quite catching what it was.

"Shrivel? Oh, that would explain why it was so..."

Naru cut her off with a glare. Shinobu shrugged.

"Well, it would. Sempai? Riding the rails?"

Kei nodded.

"Let's just say, one or two more squeezes, and I might have really traumatized you that night."

Since Shinobu had asked unbidden, the others let Kei go on saying this to a still-young girl. None saw Shinobu whisper to herself, or heard her words as she hung her head.

*Darn my luck*

Perhaps it should be said, 'thankfully', no one heard her words.

Mitsu noted something that seemed to press the button of her non-Human nature.

"Who the hell are those three old men?"

Mutsumi squinted.

"Are they there? They kind of faded in and out on me. They could be trickster spirits of some kind."

Mitsu rolled her eyes.

"Great. That probably makes them family in this place."

Naru puzzled as the images passed by them in a jumble.

"I don't see any old men. Su! You're using tanks inside the Inn against Kei?"

Su looked badly upset.

"Grandma always said - don't play war in the house."

Kei observed Alt-Keitaro's movements.

"Am I descended from rubber people and rag dolls here? Hey! Is he drawing pictures without telling them? Is he-drawing pictures? I'd love to be able to do that so well."

Motoko seemed to take her dopple's late entry on the scene in stride. But something else put her off badly.

"She has her own fan club? How incredibly petty. A warrior's only judges are herself and her older sister-ummm-her master. Well, same thing."

Shinobu was trying to read the lips of Alt-Haruka and Alt-Keitaro.

"I think-I think Auntie is upset-with him calling her Auntie. But she never seemed to mind, even when we started calling her that. She told me she knew it was a sign of respect and affection, not age."

Su watched as the same exchange went further.

"Did Auntie get that bazooka from my room? I asked her not to go through my stuff."

Mitsu watched Alt-Keitaro get awkward help from his two friends.

"With or without words-still can't tell those two apart. Oh-Sarah's her usual charming self. Wait-she's calling her Kei 'Baka' - like non-stop."

Kei looked offended.

"Sarah never called me an idiot! She called me a dork!"

Su nodded.

"Sarah-chan always said you were very cognizant and aware of your unbelievable slapstick movements. She always regarded you as one of the greats, like Jackie Chan, Charlie Chaplin-she even said you were more fun than Goofy!"

Kei wiped away a tear.

"That little sweetie. Really? Better than Goofy? Wow-why am I getting hit so much?"

Naru thought maybe the compliment - such as it was - had softened her man's brain.

"Well, duh. You're getting hit because we were all a bit hit-happy back then, when you would see us nak-Hey! Why is he getting hit?"

Motoko realized the oddity that had struck her all along.

"Where are the BOOBS? Where are the Butts? This is a Keitaro Urashima production - do they all wear towels, even in the onsen?"

Naru winced.

"That's so unsanitary! I mean, I thought maybe it was the other Kei's intrusions, but even before the other me knew she was there-this place makes no sense. How-how did my arm just stretch like that? I thought she could only do that because of the battle armor."

Shinobu pointed.

"Motoko? There's a butt. Yours."

Motoko looked slightly calmer.

"Well, at least someone got naked! What kind of hellhole is this? We had a rule in our world - towels or body wraps meant a warning - only actual private flesh meant he would be attacked."

Kei shook his head.

"No offense, but I don't really recall that distinction - not that it was always easy to recall things, after that."

Mutsumi pointed excitedly.

"Oooh-me and Kei in a naked stumble!"

Rather than be upset, Naru rubbed her eyes.

"You sure? I can't tell through all that steam. Mutsumi, can we turn this off?"

Mutsumi squeezed her friend's cheek.

"Uh, Naru?"

She then yelled right in Naru's ear.

"THIS IS SOMEONE'S LIFE, NOT A TV SHOW! We need to let this play itself out."

She quickly smiled her sweet smile once more.

"Sorry to step out of character like that."

Naru cupped her ear.

"What? Out of corrupters? Huh?"

The images kept on, their alien-ness starting to make the Hinata siblings woozy. Kei had to look away as his counterpart became a twinkle in the sky after repeated Naru-punches.

"Guess I'm blasting off again."

Su observed some more tender images with confusion.

"Onii-Chan? Did your Great-Granpa make dolls and puppets?"

Kei realized he in fact knew very little about Grandma's father, except that he wasn't a pleasant person. Shinobu knew more than Grandma's initial tale from seeing her wreck her hated childhood home, but felt she should keep her silence. She too had issues with her counterpart.

"Was I-was I that weak when you first knew me? She seems so fragile."

Motoko put a hand on her shoulder.

"With the guidance and love of your sisters and brother - much as we both might wish he were otherwise - you have grown remarkably strong. But I will say - while our precious Shinobu often let her nerves take over - this one seems at times genuinely fearful of life."

Then came a subject they all could agree on.

"Kanako."

The events of Kanako's tenure played out with acceptable differences, at least for the most part.

"Onii-Chan? Kuro can't actually fly-or talk, right?"

When even Kaolla Su was starting to be weirded out, Kei knew they were likely all past their limit.

"Mutsumi, I know what you said, but is there no way to get out of this?"

As the living memory-phantoms swirled around them, Mutsumi showed she too was nearing the end.

"I-think-we're nearly at a cutoff point. At least I hope we are. Watching myself faint so often is making me dizzy."

Naru grew enraged yet again.

"She's finally confessing to him - while hitting him? HITTING is for denial, dumbass."

Mitsu found her own offense.

"Okay-so they're all upset that our happy humpers finally kissed-once. What wimps."

Motoko concurred.

"Yes. We watched them go at it for months before we broke down mentally, and perhaps morally."

The lovers boarded Seta's plane, the other girls temporarily in a frustrated heap. Then, all concerned saw a great white light envelop them, and abruptly, the séance ended. Kenichi stood nearby with water, Arlo with food, and Koichi with towels to wipe off their sweat. He helped Motoko up from the floor.

"Toko, Babe? You guys were out for a while there."

Shinobu downed some water and a hard-boiled egg.

"Arlo? How long is a while?"

The newest sibling of the Sou looked pensive.

"Almost sixteen hours."

Mitsu's eyes both went wide as saucers.

"Sixteen Hours? We wasted two-thirds of a day on those losers' mishaps? I love my Bro, but seeing my more selfish, foolish self for all that time makes me want to bring down the thunder."

Su oddly showed her drain by sounding all the more logical, like it was all she could muster.

"Maybe it's not a great idea to judge those people based on a compressed incomplete view of their lives-nahhh, that place was just weird."

Motoko showed the strain as well.

"That light? That was their kidnapping? They never reached their Toudai?"

Naru still didn't like her other self, but showed empathy.

"Then their lives are on hold until we can rescue them. So we were just lying here on the floor all this time?"

Kenichi attended Su but answered Naru's question.

"Narusegawa-San? You all vanished. You simply weren't here."

Mutsumi sat down.

"Did we actually enter that other universe somehow? Su, was your computer recording all this...oh. She's out like a light...not a bad idea..."

Apparently, none of them thought this was a bad idea, including their attendants. But as the last two faded, Koichi thought out loud.

"My sis said there'd be consequences. Like what?"

Kenichi recalled his lessons at the monastery.

"They perhaps crossed from one part of God's creation into another not their own. The Abbott always said the worst thing God can do as punishment is not Hell, but causing events to all happen at the same time. I never understood what he..."

Punishment or confluence of coincidences, they would all soon understand those words.

Four of the sisters now had their own boyfriends, two of them live-in, though at different ends of the hall with a series of floorboards carefully arranged by loving elder siblings as an 'alarm' against urges they all sympathized with but couldn't allow. For the moment, Arlo and Shinobu found their balance, and overly warm feelings were expressed via a nightly smile across their way in their nightclothes. Others were still finding their way in a post-Keitaro world.

"Babe, I didn't mean to put you off. I can wait. The only thing I'd like to know is, how long are we waiting? I'll wait - well, a really long time for you. I just gotta know what that's about."

Motoko said words she found painful but now at least bearable.

"Kei is not mine. He will never be mine, and I want my brother and my sister to be happy. Maybe not so loud, but definitely happy. I am never past loving him, but I am past being so far in love with him that I am mourning myself. I hesitated too long with a good man out of fear. I have no wish to lose another to my fear and indecision. I care for you, Koichi Otohime. Enough to take a chance and find out where the next level lies, and what we may find there. Whatever happens with us, I will never pull in a conventional man, so my honor is not the consideration it once was. He - that person will have to accept me as I am."

Koichi stood amazed.

"he totally does. he is amazed by you."

Realizing his nerves had made his voice almost squeaky, Koichi brought it back up.

"So Kei's out. What about the Princess? Didn't you have to break up with her-and how did that even work? Her age, I mean."

Motoko had awaited this, and smiled to think back.

"The only thing that ever existed between us was a promise to one day explore possibilities. But Su's love is overwhelming and omnivorous. She really wanted to marry all of us, and I believe she still does. Before Kei Urashima, only Kaolla Su could pull me out of my shell. However, I must be her teacher, and that requires the death of that possibility for the foreseeable future. I can't say where my heart will land, Otohime-San. But I'm willing to gamble it on nailing some things down -"

She grinned broadly.

"-chief among the things being nailed down is myself."

Koichi leaned forward and kissed her.

"Ummm-Toko? Can we-when we-can we do-?"

He whispered something decidedly M-Rated.

"PERVERT!"

She backhanded him, then picked him up.

"We will discuss it. NO jumping the gun. Or-that area you just mentioned-until I say jump. Then Jump! But only when I say so-you might want to ask a few times."

"Actually, I was hoping you'd jump the-"

"PERVERT!"

This time, her Bokken clocked him across the head, till she kissed him again. Koichi grinned.

"Wow-Kei is so lucky. He had this kind of attention from all fifteen ladies here."

Motoko puzzled at this.

"There are only five of us among the mainstays."

Koichi sat down on the floor.

"Right now, I think I'd see fifteen. There are -ouch- three of you right now."

Motoko sat beside him, and kissed him once again.

"Kiss the one in the middle-Hey! There's no middle between those two."

She only pushed him off this time. He asked the question.

"When might this all happen-whatever does end up happening?"

Motoko, proud warrior and hater of men, set a date certain for a certain passage of life.

"September 11th. Let the first anniversary of that horrific day be recalled for something joyous in our lives. Death supplanted by new life."

Koichi showed his daze, and his capacity to be the sort of man Motoko found irresistible.

"New life? You mean we're not going to use protection?"

She stood up and started kicking him.

"MORON! I meant a new life together! Don't make weird assumptions about me!"

"But-Sis said you were talking babies out the wazoo not too long ago."

Motoko frowned.

"Mutsumi has a big mouth - but nice birthing hips. I was entranced by the birth of my new nephew, that's all-"

Her face melted into an airy glow as she smiled.

"-oooohh! HE'S SO CUTE! I WANT ONE OF MY OWN! Koichi, take me here and now!"

Koichi, lying on the floor in a heap, stared up.

"I'm not immortal, babe. Kinda need time to recover."

Motoko fixed her wrinkled robes and walked away.

"Suit yourself. September 11th it is, then."

As Koichi lay there, his sister walked up.

"Hey, Brother? I think you should know-being with Motoko means you're possibly not in the healthiest of relationships."

Koichi felt his consciousness slipping.

"Thanks loads, Sis. Don't know why everyone thinks you're an airh..."

Mutsumi puzzled.

"Wait. Who would call me an Airh? What does that even mean?"

The end of classes - including Kei and Naru's catch-up classes for their time away - came at last, and for once, there was no talk of summer studies.

"Oh! I just wanna spend this summer relaxing and enjoying our time here-"

A Goofy-like scream came from the onsen as another new jet-pack didn't quite make it to the ionosphere. Naru checked outside.

"You okay, Kenichi?"

The haggard boy stood up, covered in ash that had once been his outer layer of skin.

"Just-just fine, Narusegawa-San. As long as I have pleased my Princess. Have I?"

Kaolla Su walked outside, shaking her head.

"No. At least five more tests before Eight O'clock."

Kenichi smiled.

"Five more! Kami Be Praised! I am my Princess' plaything, till she grows bored with me, and casts me aside like toilet paper!"

Su folded her arms.

"Like socks, Baka! Like used socks. You've earned your way up from toilet paper."

"YAY!"

Naru closed the door.

"Yep. Clinical insanity mixed with true love. Kei, do you think those two are a match made in He...where are you?"

Kei was at the front door.

"We have guests."

Arlo was the only one shocked by the man he saw at the door, but in fact all were surprised to see him.

"Shin-chan? That man looks like Sempai, if he were born American!"

Kei shook the hand of the man who was more than just his ethnic counterpart.

"Keith Ulster?"

The young American waved hello to everyone.

"Hey, guys. Well, we're taking you up on your offer to stay here. The Hilda needs major work after some flooding, and we thought, Hey, Let's Head Out Japan-way."

Natalie Natterman, Molly Ayers-Martin, Missy O'Timothy, and Matilda 'Kitty' Connor all entered with rings on their fingers. Natty smiled.

"They got engaged with their new fellas right after Keith and I tied the knot. Sherry and Tirama are goin's steady, to boot."

Sherry Mayer walked hand in hand with a blond-haired, blue-eyed boy looking like a young Captain America.

"Hey, Shin? This is my man, which is to say, he's my boyfriend. Say hello to Shinobu Maehara, Sugar-Pie-Honey-Bunch, why doncha?"

The young man smiled and shook her hand. He spoke with an accent that suggested one of the Mid-Atlantic States, rather than Sherry's native New England. His name, however, was suggestive of another location.

"Daisuke Watanabe at your service, Shinobu. It's a real pleasure. You know? Yez even look a bit like Sherry. Small world, huh?"

Shinobu clamped down a 'Really?' response to this inversion and introduced her boyfriend.

"Wonderful to meet you-Daisuke-San. Now, both of you, meet Arlo Guthrie."

Certain courtesies are not always returned, as Shinobu now learned.

"Oh, Hey! Shinobu? His name isn't Japanese at all."

Daisuke nodded.

"Yah. It's like really out of place. What is up with that?"

But if Shinobu worried about having a buffer against Sherry being Sherry, she would have one.

"Shin-Chan? Guess who's back?"

Shinobu ran up and hugged her friend.

"Amy-Chan? Ohhhh! I'm so happy to see you. You came to visit?"

Amy pointed at a man in a wheelchair.

"Me and my Dad."

Amy's father smiled. Some of his scars from surviving the attack on New York were still visible.

"This past year has been so hard on my little girl. To know she had friends, and a place to stay-well, it's helped my recovery. I'm hoping that onsen of yours will as well."

Tirama Su had a map in hand as she spoke to her cousin.

"I am going to visit every place in this country where we kicked your butts in The Big One!"

Kaolla Su was now on the receiving end of determined absurdity, and found it was not entirely a comfortable position to be in.

"Ummm, America never invaded the mainland, and we're both Molmolian."

The determined if badly misplaced patriotism quickly vanished.

"Well, could we visit the Sentai studios and some of their battle filming spots?"

The day was far from done.

"Mother? Grandma?"

Alice pulled her son's cheek. She had sworn to him that was all she would ever do to that cheek, ever again - unless he got Shinobu pregnant - then all bets - and all heads - were off.

And she meant ALL heads. Take from that what you will.

"Hina-San needs some lessons to re-certify for her pilot's license, and now I'm learning too. Until then, our trip is delayed. Mind some house-guests?"

Arlo couldn't even estimate how many levels of impossible there were for him to say no to his mother and Hinata.

"The more-the-merrier?"

Indeed, the day had not yet started, as Mitsune now learned.

"Moms? Dad? Ka-nako-errr-Are you Onee-Chan or Imouto? I'm not really all that clear on our lineage - and neither is our lineage."

The mother-Kitsune that Mitsu seemed to take after personality-wise talked while her sister and husband/brother-in-law unpacked - in Mitsu's room, without really having been told they could, for such were parents.

"Mitsu-honey? That little prank sealing spell you put on the house kicked back in and locked us out. We have a wizard coming in to break it, but we need a place. Lucky thing our little girl is Ryobo to a place with its own onsen!"

Mitsu's spirit family now had her wanting to call Ghostbusters - and in fact she had their number, from when Kei and Motoko had been possessed by a Japanese Bonnie and Clyde.

"Yeah, sure thing there, Mom - we are all just soooo lucky."

The day rolled up its sleeves, balled its hands into fists, and started really going at them, or it would have, if days had sleeves or hands.

"Tsuruko, Shuhei? Ohhh-my little Shinji!"

Mutsumi looked as Motoko cuddled her equally delighted nephew, but puzzled over something.

"Tsuruko-San? You named your son Shinji?"

"My sister's suggestion. In our clan, it is the name of a great manly warrior who faced every hardship ever known and never allowed a sad look to crease his face, nor a tear to even form. His is the name of ultimate strength, for members of our family, and for people in our area."

Shuhei, who did understand what Mutsumi meant and had lost a ferocious naming battle, whispered to her.

"In our area, yes. But nowhere else in Japan - or the United States-"

Mutsumi whispered back.

"Pretty much any country with a Home Video player. At least he'll be a tough kid."

Shuhei sighed.

"We will probably have to teach him killing techniques just to survive pre-school."

Tsuruko thankfully heard none of this.

"Sister-my husband and I need sleep. While we stay here, will you help us to care for our-"

Motoko heard none of anything at that point.

"Are you going to marry your Auntie? Should I run off with my sweetie right here and now?"

Tsuruko had, she admitted, instilled her own one-time fear and hate of men into her Imouto, and then fought to shake it out of her. She had succeeded.

"I will take that as an exceedingly disturbing Yes. Exceedingly disturbing. No stories about him. Your ones about Urashima were horrid, pornographic and blatantly derivative of the Bronte sisters."

The day was slapping them around the way Naru never dreamed of doing to Kei, and showed less regret for it.

"Hey, Keitaro?"

Kei saw Keith Ulster wave.

"Yeah, Keith?"

The young man held his cell phone.

"My Auntie Hayley, Uncle Norman, Sakura and the new baby got lost trying to find this place."

Kei vowed to never invite anyone ever again.

"oh-too bad there, Keith."

Keith shook his head.

"It's all good. Shinobu's parents know the way-but then their car broke down."

Kei looked skyward.

*You're just messing with us now, aren't you?*

"So, what happened then was, Mutsumi's family packed them all into their pick-up trucks, and they just ended up following your Auntie and her bunch. They should be here any time."

Sakura Ulster kicked her cousin in the shin.

"Doofus! By the time you said all that, we had moved in. You're worse than a Sailor Scout transformation."

Keith rubbed his leg and grimaced.

"Love you too, Sakura Kathleen."

Sarah tapped Sakura on the shoulder.

"Uhhh-it's called a Sailor Senshi Henshin. Also, you shouldn't kick your cousin like that."

"Oh? And why not?"

Sarah shrugged at the 'amateur'.

"Kicks like that leave prosecutable marks. Also, why does your Anglo-Shinobu-clone have an American Aryan boyfriend with a totally Japanese name and a John Travolta accent?"

Sakura shrugged.

"Who cares, and if I did, how would it be any of your damned business?"

The two brat-queens stared each other down, then embraced. Sakura smiled.

"Wanna be friends?"

Sarah grinned.

"If we have to be. This place probably wouldn't survive a war between us. Plus, my usual best friend has a boyfriend/guinea pig now."

Sakura pointed outside.

"Do we get to swim naked with the guys?"

Sarah was a bit weirded out, but went with the intriguing thought.

"No. But since we're still only just in puberty, as 'little girls' we get to peep without getting hit. Owwww!"

Sakura was also struck, since saying all this in front of their mothers was a bad idea. A grizzled old man of hearty endurance walked in.

"Hey! Where's Keitaro Urashima?"

Absolutely everyone in the room turned and shouted as one at the entrance of Doctor Henry Jones, Junior.

"Hank!"

Shinobu ran up and hugged the old man, who was with his wife of many decades.

"You must really be everyone's Sempai, Hank-san. Oh. Welcome to our home, Ma'am."

Mrs. Jones scoped out the much younger lady.

"She's just as cute as you said. Kid-stay away from my husband. Hey, is she the reason you made me put on a Fuku last month?"

As Old Hank blushed, Shinobu felt her stomach turn, and heard Sarah's whispered 'See What I Mean?'. But then what looked like a younger and an older Old Hank in a wheelchair emerged.

"Dad? I paid a kid named Kenichi to bring our stuff in. Gramps is still talking on the phone."

Shinobu felt her eyes go wide, and Naru beside her spoke the obvious question.

"Your father is still alive?"

Old Hank (or Middle Hank) shrugged.

"He got the same cup. I mean, I poured it into him. Plus, he's just stubborn. Oh-and the girls might want to step lively around him. He's into his 'let them prosecute me' phase - at least for groping."

On his cellphone, Henry Jones, Senior, a man who no longer bothered to count the years, snarled at a celebrated media figure.

"You listen up, Spielberg! You want to make a fourth movie, use Junior Junior, but not me. NO! I will not have my role played again by that reprobate Sean Connery. Not after what he did to Alex Trebek's mother! I don't care if she loved it!"

Young Hank ( or at least the youngest there) explained.

"It's from a skit on Saturday Night Live-but try and tell him that. Boy-place looks pretty crowded. Good thing none of my kids could come and bring their families."

Kei watched the mounting horror.

"Yes, Mutt-San-good-good thing."

Outside the Sou's perimeter, some more people of their acquaintance gave up.

"Bob, they must be having a party."

As Emily Hartley sat with her namesake Emily Kashigawa, the latter got off the phone.

"That was Haruka. The place is past capacity. Sorry, folks."

Bob Hartley turned to his three other passengers.

"Hawkeye? Margaret? It's a no go."

Looking no older than they had in the 1950's or than they would in the 2390's, The Pierces turned to their toddling daughter Blake Pierce, named for their fallen first Commanding Officer.

"Too bad, honey. This is a wild place. Makes our old camp look like a rest retreat."

Back inside the Sou's perimeter, the main residents had retreated outside. Naru fumed.

"The only people who didn't show up were Kei's two friends - at least we could maybe turn them away. We don't even have enough room for everybody."

Su raised her hand.

"I found rooms for them. It turns out there were seven or more rooms at the top of the stairs. I forgot what we used them for, so it took care of the overflow. The kids are gonna camp out on the rooftop overlook."

The others blinked, rubbed their eyes, and looked at Kaolla Su. Mutsumi courageously made the leap.

"Su-those were-our rooms."

Motoko realized there were many more lessons to be imparted to her little heart.

"Princess-we now have no place to stay."

Shinobu was too overwhelmed to let loose on her dear friend.

"Not to mention cleaning up after and attending to all these guests without a place to rest or wash up."

The 'Keitaro-Hat' was placed on Su's head, and she gulped.

"I take it there's nothing scatterbrained but cute I can say to get out of this?"

But Su's chase was put off for the moment as Grandma appeared.

"That silly little boy, Hank Senior, is the dirtiest old man in existence not under incarceration. Imagine him pursuing me! I am 147, and he is only 129! So. I believe you children never learned to tell people to call first, and not just drop by?"

Kei bowed his head.

"We learned it now, Grandma. Worse, we have no place to stay."

Su for once completely grasped what she had done, and felt doubly rotten for it.

"It's my fault, Grandma. Now I have to be the Keitaro."

Hinata held up her chin, and then Kei's.

"You are innkeepers who refused to turn away guests you had invited. That shows a lack of forethought, but great fortitude. Plus - you have a place to stay. I recalled something, and paid Kenichi-San extra to fix it up."

While their crowd of guests settled in, the dejected bunch followed Hinata up the hill, to an overgrown part of the property. There it stood, small but a godsend.

"Grandma, what is this house?"

Hinata answered Kei's question with a flourish from her cane.

"Your grandfather and I needed more than a tent while building the Sou. So for a month, we put this place together as our base of operations. It has sadly, only three rooms. One of those is just large enough for two people. The other two - could see the rest of you."

Arlo, who had barely gotten his room before giving it up, made a painful sacrifice.

"I'll grab a cot and bunk with Kenichi in the back of the Tea Room for the duration. Sempais need to have their own room together-and please, nobody talk about me and Shin. I remember our promise. I just liked seeing her before we turn in. Now I don't even have that."

Before Su could again apologize, Kei stepped forward.

"Like Grandma said, this is on all of us. From now on, even those we cannot turn away must give us a week's notice, except for Grandma herself-and Auntie. And no offense, but even in that we need notice for their guests. We'll have our hands full, to say the least."

Mitsu sighed, and Motoko with her. Something unspoken had been derailed.

"Bro, I'll have Kenichi clean this small miracle of ours so we can plop down dead at the end of each day."

"Yes, as Urashima says, this will be needed. Other considerations must be set aside."

Naru pointed in apparent upset, though not anger.

"You two are not getting out of this. Besides, Kenichi will be needed for the main house like never before. We-we may actually have to pay him something. Mutsumi - you will ride herd on these weaklings. We are doing this. Heaven alone can stop us - no offense meant - but even it will have to work for that stoppage. That-and Kei and I have something to ask you."

Aside from the others, and just out of earshot, Naru and Kei made their request. Mutsumi blushed.

"Are you sure? Kei?"

Kei held up his hands.

"Hey, I kept right on saying no, till I saw she was serious. Then I kept right on saying No. A guy can't agree to this. But she is serious."

Naru grabbed and noogied him.

"Our dear pervert is too much of a fraidy-cat to admit his dark urges. But-I'd be lying if I said I never wanted to try this."

As they laughed, the other girls watched and gritted their teeth.

"Kill you, Bro."

"Narusegawa shall have a head no more."

"Rub it in, Sempai Naru."

Su puzzled.

"Won't Mutsumi just faint? She does that a lot."

As they walked back over and saw Grandma had returned to the crowd below, the trio were questioned. Mutsumi's sweet smile was overtaken on occasion by a predator's grin.

"Just-call it an effort to make the memory of September 11th a better one, this year."

Su thought to herself.

*Hmmm-can I alter our translator chips to send video when they do it? And-should I tell everyone I put those chips in?*

As said, many many lessons awaited Kei and Motoko for their Princess.

Arlo and Shinobu also made their plans.

"Shin-I don't know about this."

Shinobu was not giving up.

"Motoko thinks no one knows about her plans for Koichi. Those three are putting together an orgy, all while barking at us. I'm not saying we should break our promise that night. But let's-play around, stay out really late and make them maybe THINK we did. We may need guidance, but we're not three years old."

The company and the prank had appeal to Arlo.

"Let's both walk funny for a few days after!"

The two smiled slyly and caught up with the others. Kei walked along, and noticed a weight on his left leg.

"Hina, Junior? What are you doing here, kiddo?"

As Kei snuggled Haruka's baby, Naru smiled and snarked.

"Like her future self said, she's just a girl who loves her Uncle Kei."

Naru took her next.

"Have to keep an eye on you, little girl."

The baby frowned, produced a baby bottle, and smashed it over Naru's head.

"...and keep you away from your Onee-Chan Sarah. Sheesh."

As they giggled, and the Hinata siblings descended the hillside, a very long summer began in earnest.

ANOTHER TIME, ANOTHER PLACE

The revered and ancient Order Of The Red Gate was now a pile of ashes on the ground before the member they had been very foolish to take in among their own. Confident and able, he gloated, with his seven best minions behind him, armored as never before, until their very humanity was in question.

"Gentlemen - there has been a change in plans - or put another way, you have served your purpose. For the gift of infrastructure, I thank you. As for not including you in my plans - well, you would only have said no, after all."

A ting from the armor of the will-broken lackeys, once seven people trying to figure out life and love amidst a wacky landscape, caused the master schemer to turn, looking annoyed.

"Stop walking into each other, you morons!"

Silently, a lithe figure withdrew, having accomplished what they must for then and there.

The next September was coming.

Next, in the Epilogue - Conspiracy