Chapter 10 – The Truth about Spock

Zia curled up on Spock's couch with some relen tea, like she always did after a bad nightmare. Spock sat beside her as she sipped her tea. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah." She nodded.

"I would not be wise for your emotions to cloud your focus during assessments next week," he said. "Would you like to begin meditation?"

"Probably should, yeah." Zia finished her tea and placed the cup down. She put a cushion on the ground and stretched before sitting on it cross-legged. Spock did the same opposite her and they both descended into deep meditation.

She was at ease knowing that he was there. It didn't matter that he didn't hug her like her parents did. She just needed his presence. Besides, he was her professor, and to have him take time out of his schedule to teach her the Vulcan way was decent of him. He didn't have to train her, but he did anyway. That was enough for her.

Something nudged its way into the void of her emotionless state. It was a small square that grew bigger as she moved closer. When she was right next to it, she saw jumbled visions of a boy being taunted.

"He's a traitor, you know. Your father, for marrying her. That human whore."

The words burst into her mind, with it a surge of hatred and anger so intense that Zia saw red. She saw Spock as a child as he pushed another Vulcan and proceeded to beat him. There was anger, pain, sadness and loneliness. So, he did feel. Was this a result of meditation or the mind-meld?

"As always, whoever you choose to be, you will have a proud mother."

His mother was truly beautiful. She was a perfect balance between classic and modern. More emotion surged: love, sadness, hope and anxiety. Spock really was a tumult of emotion, and no one even noticed. They just saw a Vulcan. Another pointy-eared hobgoblin.

"It is truly remarkable, Spock, that you have achieved much despite your disadvantage."

What disadvantage?

"…Your human mother."

The anger was back. While his face did not change, the emotions were raw and overpowering. The decision was made. Spock was going to Starfleet Academy and turning his back on the Vulcan way.

Her mind jerked from the kaleidoscope of emotion and she opened her eyes. Spock sat on his cushion and stared at her impassively.

"My apologies, cadet," he said. "You should not have been subjected to my thoughts. This session is over." He stood and retreated to his bedroom, leaving Zia blinking in confusion.

She left his room, trying to sort out what she'd learnt. It wasn't that Spock didn't feel. He did, but kept it hidden like a true Vulcan. The mask was something he had perfected over years or torment and he'd had the knowledge and training to create that mask. Now he was teaching her to do the same thing, so she wouldn't be a danger to those around her like he was. The whole time she thought he was doing it out of duty as they were both Vulcan, but now she knew it was something more. He cared. For her. He wanted her to be happy, which was something he'd never had, and he was willing to expose himself to do it.

They truly were kindred spirits.

o.O.o

Zia chewed her lip. She sat in the huge exam hall with five other classes, all of them waiting for the two hours to begin. Her paper was sitting face down on her desk and her pens, calculator and ruler were lined up neatly to the left. Five professors patrolled the rows, alert for any signs of cheating.

"You may now begin," Captain Pike said.

Immediately papers rustled as all the cadets began their exams. Zia wrote quickly but purposefully, her Vulcan mind conjuring up the best way to answer each question. As she wrote, she tuned out the world around her and focused on her individual application to the assessment. Everything she'd studied for the past nine weeks, it was all there. She knew the answer to every question on that paper. It was just a matter of formulating an appropriate response with her knowledge of the subject.

Before she knew it, two whole hours had passed. She finished the final question and proofread her answers, only having to wait three minutes before Captain Pike called for pens-down. The professors moved up the rows, collected all the papers, and eventually they were allowed out for their next assessments.

Blair met Zia outside the exam room.

"That was better than I thought it would be," he commented. "I'm starving though, let's go get some lunch."

They chatted quietly on their way to the Cafeteria, with consideration for the other cadets sitting exams. While during normal class weeks the Cafeteria served three meals a day, during exam week it served food constantly from early morning to late evening to ensure cadets could get food whenever they needed it.

The rain season had finished, and it was now getting warmer during the days. However, in mornings and evenings it got quite chilly. Zia grabbed a sandwich and muffin and went with Blair to sit with some of his friends. She'd sat with them a few times before and they were nice but tended to forget she was there.

"First exam, huh?" a cadet called JJ asked.

"Yeah," Blair nodded. He sat beside him. "It was better than expected."

Bishop, who had attended that same exam, joined them. "Are you joking? It sucked! I hope we don't get Professor Spock again."

"I've heard that cadets who've had him are more likely to get jobs on starships," JJ cut in.

Chatter broke throughout the group and Zia finished her food, excusing herself. She thought about going to the library but decided against it. The whole weekend had been devoted to studying and an hour wouldn't make any difference. Instead, she sat on one of the benches dotted around the Quad and pulled her hood up to cover her ears. Today there was a wind and her Vulcan ears were particularly sensitive.

Her thoughts, as always turned to Spock. Her traitorous mind wondered if he had someone back on Vulcan. A partner. Lost in her thoughts, she started when someone sat beside her.

"Hi," the stranger said, "are you okay?" She glanced up and realised that this was the same brunette that sometimes smiled at her when they passed in corridors.

"Yeah, I'm okay," she replied. "Thank you."

"It's just, you look a bit down. I'm Jim, by the way. Jim Kirk."

"Zia Abbott." She shook the offered hand and quickly withdrew.

"So, you're Vulcan huh? How is it that I see you smiling?" He did have a nice smile. She could almost believe it was genuine, but strangers never smiled at her.

"I'd rather not talk about it."

He raised his hands in surrender. "Hey I get it. You don't want to talk about your past. Same here. I take it this is your first year here."

"Yeah."

"Are you enjoying it?"

"Yeah."

"Well that's good. Always good to know that the Academy is treating their new cadets right." He smiled again and she had no idea how to respond to that.

"Um, so what's your next exam?" she asked, attempting to be polite.

"Military Science," he replied. "What's yours?"

"Biology," she sighed, fidgeting with her sleeve. Suddenly she really wanted him to leave.

"You coming to the party on Friday?" he asked. For a second she debated lying, but her parents had raised her better.

"Yeah. Some friends talked me into going."

"I hope to see you there," he grinned and stood. "See you later, Zia."

"Okay." She nodded. As he walked away she stood and put as much distance between her and him as possible. She made a mental note to ask around about Kirk and see what he was like. He reminded her of her bullies and she hoped to god that he wasn't trying to manipulate her into some ghastly situation.

She went to Block-B and moved quietly through the corridors. Throughout the whole term she'd only been to room sixteen and now she had to find the corridor where room thirteen was. Hopefully she wouldn't get lost and would find her classroom easy. She was forty minutes early, and had plenty of time to kill.

Instead of revising, she took out a book from her satchel about Vulcans. She'd reached an interesting chapter the previous week but hadn't gotten around to reading it because of the pressures of upcoming exams.

Pon Farr

The male Vulcan is incapable of creating progeny until after the onset of their first pon farr, during which a hormone known as yamareen is released into the bloodstream. Thereafter, the Vulcan male is capable of reproducing at any time, but they must obey the physical urge to mate every seven years. Most Vulcan males experience pon farr for the first time at the age of twenty, and in seven-year cycles following that, but amongst hybrids, their biological differences mean that it can come at more uncertain times.

People trickled into the corridor for exams and she stuffed the book back into her satchel before anyone could see the title. She shifted uncomfortably. Biological intimacy wasn't something she liked to think about. Still a virgin at age nineteen and afraid of being touched. At least she wasn't a Vulcan male and subject to forced copulation every seven years. She wondered about Spock. Had he experienced pon farr before?

Then she blushed. She shouldn't wonder that about her professor.

Time ticked by, and the door to the exam room opened. Zia dropped her satchel outside, filed in with the rest of her class and they took their seats at separate workbenches. Each bench had the exact same setup of research equipment, lab coats, protective goggles and what looked to be enzyme samples.

Spock walked down the rows and placed papers at each bench, face-down. Zia glanced at the clock. The exam started in two minutes. Once Spock had handed out all the papers he returned to the front.

"There will be no cheating of any kind," Spock said. "Cheating will result in expulsion. You may begin."

Their time on the wall began to count down and Zia opened her paper. The goal was to investigate enzyme reactions to different environments. Easy enough.

The minutes ticked by and though no one talked, beakers tinkled, and machinery whirred as the cadets worked through the assessment. Spock moved around the room at irregular intervals to ensure everyone was adhering to lab safety procedures, only pausing at Zia's bench. She sensed him there but continued working. She couldn't afford to be distracted by her professor. When it came to science, the best assessment pieces were always sent to panel and used as high-quality examples for later years. It was a great honour to have an exam paper sent to panel. Sometimes they were even published in one of the weekly science magazines that Starfleet sponsored.

She completed the materials and method section and performed the relevant experiments and recorded the results. Once the six required variables were complete, she turned to her discussion to compare each result and discuss their applications.

"Pens down," Spock announced. Clatters rang through the room as various cadets put down whatever they were holding. Zia frantically wrote to complete her concluding sentence. Come on, come on… Yes! She dropped her pen and closed the paper, holding it up for Spock to collect. He moved along the rows, placed all the papers into a pile while they cleaned up their workbenches, and eventually they were dismissed. She smiled gently at Spock, earning a nod from him.

Two exams down, four to go.

o.O.o

Zia curled up against the window, a blanket wrapped around her and a mug of coffee in her hands. She stared into the night, watching Spock and a group of professors walking around the Quad and chatting. Normally she would be meditating in his room, but not tonight. Not this week. It was too busy and too hectic for him to take time from his schedule to teach her.

Tara came into the room, dumped her satchel on the floor and collapsed on her bed. "I hate exams," she moaned.

"It's necessary," Zia replied, glancing at her roommate.

"That was such a Vulcan thing to say," Tara chuckled. "Is that a good thing?"

"I hope so. Or maybe I'm just picking up some annoying habits?"

"Maybe," Tara shrugged.

"Have you eaten?"

"Yeah, I ate just before. I just had to get something in my stomach. I mean, my exam started at six. Why can't I have one that's during the day?"

As Tara got ready for a shower, Zia decided to voice the question that had been bothering her. "Do you know Jim Kirk?"

"Oh, him? What about him?"

"Um, what do you know about him?"

"I've heard he's a womaniser and I don't have a high opinion of womanisers. I swear he's made it his life's goal to nail every girl at the Academy. Why?"

"I just wanted to know. He talked to me and it made me uncomfortable."

"Oh, no, he's not a bad guy by any means. No one's ever said he's nasty." She paused. "Did he… flirt with you?"

"Flirt?"

"Yeah, hit on you and tried to make you laugh."

"Um, I'm not sure."

"If you say so… just be careful around him." She snickered. "Hey, I overheard one of the guys in our year saying you're the prettiest Vulcan he'd ever seen."

"He… what?"

"And you are very pretty! You have nothing to worry about. Most of the guys are a bit scared of you. Vulcans are renowned for their strength and they don't want to do or say something stupid that makes you angry."

Zia took a sip of her coffee and looked out at Spock. "That is nice of you to say. I'm sure lots of guys think you're pretty too."

"Aw, thanks!" Tara grinned and went for her shower. By the time she came out, Zia was fast asleep.