Yet another story. This is my first story for Naruto! This will be a yaoi (meaning boy x boy) so just click the back arrow if you don't like. It will be SasuNaru all the way! This first chapter only contains cussing but later ones will have sexual situations (thus the M rating).
Warning: there will be some Sakura and Ino bashing. I don't have anything against them but it's simply their roles in the story.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story concept. If I don't own the characters this chapter I obviously won't own them any of the other chapters so this is for the entire story.
Chapter One
The Chicks at My School Are Morons & Sasuke Uchiha is the World's Biggest Prick
I was sure of two things: Basically all the girls enrolled in my school are idiots and while Sasuke Uchiha is undoubtedly the world's biggest prick, that does not excuse the moronic disease that plagued all the girls.
I know. I know that he is a self-absorbed asshole who thinks he's the shit and has an ego bigger than Principle Tsunade's boobs (And that's saying something. I have no idea what she has in those things). I am perfectly aware of his reputation. And I know the reputation is dead-on. He's also a stuck up pretty boy with enough cash to own the city. In fact, his family sort of does. Another fun fact about him is that he uses girls and then tosses them aside with absolutely no regard for them. I have never experienced this, but trust me, I've seen my fair share of girls breaking down in the cafeteria, the classrooms, the hallway, the parking lot…okay basically everywhere after they got thrown aside by him. How that guy hooked up with so many girls is a mystery to me. Maybe it is a hobby or something since it seemed like that is all he does. I felt bad for them, though. They are obviously all pretty dense if they thought the guy would change after 'getting to know' them and they would live happily ever after. That's just stupid and naïve. Were their heads filled with air? Apparently so. But really, I did feel bad for them. No matter what, they still had hearts, ones that had been crushed without a second thought.
"See I do understand what they go through but it doesn't change the fact that all those girls, when you cut to the chase, are morons." I looked meaningfully into the Shikamaru's eyes, trying to get my point across that I wasn't just blindly throwing an insulting label on those girls. I was looking at this issue from all points of view and making an accurate assessment. And it was clear to me that the chicks, for the most part, at this school were morons. I could tell. Because I'm awesome like that!
"He's got a point! I don't get what all these girls see in that prick anyways!" I looked over at Kiba and held up my palm which he readily high-fived. Kiba was an awesome guy, and I could always count on him to have my back.
"Unlike Naruto though, you, Kiba, are saying this out of pure jealousy." Shikamaru leveled Kiba with a dull stare as he brought the cigarette he was holding back to his lips. I smirked and glanced at Kiba's red, sputtering face.
"W-what!? No!" The dog-lover finally managed to get out. I barely heard him, though, over my laughing. A knock on the head sobered me up and I tried (and failed) to fight down my smile and look at Kiba apologetically. He gave me a glare before turning to Shikamaru who was still leaning against the brick wall smoking.
"How do you know blondie's not jealous? Huh? Oh wise one!" Kiba said to Shika, who merely scoffed at the nickname. I could tell he was trying to fight down a smile though. You can't anything past me. I'm like a hawk, yeah. Believe it!
Being the great and mature friend that I am I cut off Shikamaru before he could further the argument.
"Now, now. Let's all chill out. Ahem, cough-Kiba-cough (this earned a 'Hey!' from dog boy). We should get back to class before the bell rings so we aren't late." Man I don't think I've ever said anything so mature and pro-school before. And judging from my friends' shocked expressions, they were thinking along the same lines. Come on it wasn't that hard to believe I just said something mature. I am feeling slightly insulted right now.
"Wow. That was…" Kiba voice held none of its previous anger, only shock. I shot him a venomous look that clearly said 'Wanna fight, bitch?' or at least I hoped it did because I was going to come at him in like two seconds.
"Well whoever just took over Uzumaki's body is right. You three losers should get to class 'cuz the bell is gonna ring in like five seconds." A familiar female voice grabbed my attention and my desire to punch Kiba's face in was forgotten. I would have won though!
"Temari!" I squealed at launched myself at the only female I liked in the entire school, hell the entire city. I smacked into not a warm Temari, but a palm squishing my face. I looked up at the girl with puppy dog eyes as she held me away from her. I wanted a hello hug. I like hugs. And I like Temari. And Shika and Kiba would punch me into next Tuesday if I tried hugging them.
"Don't give me those puppy dog eyes," she scolded but her smile told me she still loved me. I drew back from her hand and gave a dramatic gasp.
"What? Puppy dog eyes! I would never!" I put into my voice as much horrified bravado as I could muster.
Temari sighed and just shook her head. Pssh, that's right. Just hand me my Oscar now…or no wait maybe it was an Emmy. What's the difference again?...Who cares, I'll take both!
"Hey Temari" And "Where were you?" came from the two behind me.
Temari stepped forward but stopped when I stepped in front of her arms open wide. Umm I kind of still want my hug. She looked me straight in the eye, and I stared back like a man obviously. I could smell victory in the air. So when she gave an annoyed huff, my smile widened and I launched myself at her and gave her a brief hug before quickly stepping back (I had learned quite painfully in the past not to hold on too long).
"Hey guys" she said to Shikamaru and Kiba, "We should get going Ms. Preggers will have a cow if we are late again." Kiba gave a salute and Shikamaru begrudgingly pushed off the wall he had been slouching against.
Bringgggggggg. (A/N: That's the bell ringing for class.)
"Well shit." Shikamaru muttered. He dropped his cigarette and ground it into the cement with his heel. He stared at the squished tobacco before catching up to the rest of us who were already booking it. Normally we didn't care about being late, but none of us wanted to be at school on a Saturday. And Saturday is just when Ms. Kurenai gave detentions. She used to be super cool. Then her stomach blew up like a balloon and she got all bitchy and started giving Saturday detentions instead of lunch detentions.
I couldn't help but smile as we ran through the school hallways on our way to Lit. class. My orange Nike's were squeaking on the tile, harmonizing with Temari's combat boots, Kiba's red Nike's, and Shikamaru's black, ratty converse. I'm sure we looked like quite a sight: A blonde teen with spiky hair and black studs in each ear, wearing an orange shirt with a red swirl (the best t-shirt ever! I have six of them!) and a pair of ratty dark blue jeans, flanked by a curvy blonde girl with four short pigtails, a skin-tight, low cut black shirt, military green miniskirt and wearing striped thigh-high socks that lead down to black combat boots. And right behind us was Kiba (who has two tattoos on his face, there's a great story behind them) in a grey hoodie and ripped up jeans and Shikamaru in a green wife beater under an open grey polo with the sleeves rolled up and low black pants with a studded belt.
I glanced over my shoulder at my friends. Yeah we were pretty awesome.
A loud squeak echoed through the nearly empty hall way as we all stopped in front of room 215, aka the Pregger's Lit room of doom. I glanced back at Kiba, Shika, and Temari, all of whom had lined up behind me. Great I guess I was the sacrificial lamb up for slaughter today.
"Thanks guys," I hissed. Shikamaru smirked (the fiendish loser), Kiba glanced away (at least he felt some guilt), and Temari put a hand on my shoulder. I looked simply looked at it. If it was supposed to be reassuring, it wasn't.
My hand reached for the brass knob, halting briefly before gripping it and turning it. Ever so slowly I opened the door. It made no sound and I silently thanked whatever deity-God-thing that was up there somewhere. I placed one foot forward so it was even with the door frame and leaned forward peeking into the room.
All right I'm not gonna lie. I almost wetted myself when the room entered my vision and I locked eyes with a very, very angry teacher. In my defense she looked really scary! Like if her angry eyes could shoot knives, I would have multiple ones in my face right now!
"Hehe…" The tiny, awkward laugh bubbled from my lips before I could stop it. I can't help it! Sometimes I make awkward noises when I'm nervous. I took a deep breath and stepped fully into the room.
All the eyes in the room were on me and I could feel my cheeks warming yup.
"How nice of you to join is for class, Mr. Uzumaki," Ms. Kurenai's eyes were narrowed and glued to my face. I scratched the back of my head and smiled at her. "Sorry, Ms. Kurenai" I said, praying she'd just let me take my seat.
"Tell your friends to come in and you four can join me on Saturday at 8 am for detention." She turned back to the board and continued writing whatever it was she had been doing before. Since we were late today the only seats available were a few lone desks scattered about. I gave Kiba a glance before heading for the lone desk by the window.
I dropped my backpack, if that's what you could call the ratty duck taped heap, in the aisle and plopped into the seat. A sigh left my lips and I rested my cheek on my fist and looked around the classroom. All boring and-okay…Pinkie aka Sakura Haruno aka Psycho Bitch 1 was sneering at me from a couple rows away. We had never gotten along, simply because I'm a nice guy and she's a psycho bitch. Our first real confrontation though had been in fifth grade. That had been an interesting occasion. I merely told her that her hair reminded me of Pepto-Bismol. I personally didn't see a problem with that comment then and I don't see a problem with it now. But being the psycho bitch she is she went all batshit crazy on me.
I smiled back at her and gave her the finger. And no it wasn't the pinkie finger. I think that's a given. Her pink little lips feel into a 'oh' and her over-plucked pink eyebrows mashed together in anger, making her forehead appear even bigger.
"Uzumaki!" Shit! I whipped my head toward the front of the room where Ms. Kurenai was glaring me down like no other. "Be here at six on Saturday!" She barked out. I lowered my forehead to the desk and closed my eyes, not caring if anyone was staring or even if Pinkie was smirking victoriously at me (which I'm sure she was). For the love of Ramen, could I catch a fricken break?!
.LINELINELINELINELINELINELINE LINELINELINELINE.
"You know I actually miss your scary motherfucker of a brother." Kiba said. "I second that!" I shouted, as Kiba flinched and jerked his neck to the side to glare at me. "You're gonna make me go deaf, baka!" I smiled, "Sorry". I don't know if I've mentioned this but Kiba is an awesome best friend. After that wretched last period in Lit class, I had been all mopey, so Kiba had offered to give me a piggyback ride. Anyone that says piggyback rides are only for kids is dead wrong.
So here we were making our way through the parking lot, Me, Kiba, Temari and Shikamaru.
"I'll assume you are speaking of Gaara." Temari responded.
"Of course, I don't even really know Kankuro. The dude is like three years older than us."
"He'll be back next week as a matter of fact." What? That's great!
"Yes!" I squealed. Gaara was Temari's twin brother and also one of my best friends. He had been gone for the past month though for beating the shit out of another kid before school started.
A loud honk from behind me caused all of us to jump. Kiba dropped me in the process but luckily I managed to land on my feet and not my butt. I turned, startled, to see a sleek black Porsche humming only a few feet behind us. I guess the person behind the wheel get fed up with us just staring at the car because he laid on the horn. Again.
"Hey!" I yelled at the douche, whoever he was.
"What the fuck?!" Temari yelled at the same time.
"Che. A fight would be troublesome. Just move to the side a bit so he can get by." Shikamaru called to us. Kiba, Temari, and I gaped at Shikamaru. How the hell could this guy not be pissed off? The asshole driver laid on the horn again. I looked back at the car and shuffled begrudgingly over to the side a bit more. Temari followed me and Kiba slowly followed her. The car sped past Kiba almost hitting him. Kiba promptly cussed the car to oblivion and gave it the finger.
"Some people should not have licenses." Kiba muttered under his breath as we made our way to his pickup truck. Temari got in her jeep and Shikamaru got in his ancient Ford Explorer. Not that I'm judging his ride or anthing. Hell I'd love to have an ancient Explorer. But no. Since I'm dirt poor I have nothing. Zip. Nada. So I mooch of Kiba and get rides from him to and from school.
We had been riding in Kiba's car for a few minutes before his angry rambling about bad drivers finally died down.
"So did you hear about Kara Feng?"
"Uh, who is that? And no."
"Some girl who that jerk Sasuke hooked up with or so she claimes and when she went to talk to him at lunch today he asked her to go away because she was annoying him."
"Ouch. That's cold. He's such a bastard. And it amazes me that all the girls at our school still fall head over heels for him." I thought back to our conversation at lunch behind the gym.
"I know! What do girls even see in him anyways?" Kiba asked, his voice laced with disgust.
"Well he's hot," I blurted out automatically without thinking.
Kiba snapped his head over to give me an incredulous look. Not a good idea when you're driving. My point was proven when the car swerved and Kiba looked forward again while steadying the car.
"Ugh! Come on Naruto I know your bi and stiff but seriously the Uchiha?!"
Whoa there! "Hey! I didn't say I liked him or anything I was just stating a fact. He is…attractive. I was only answering your question! And don't insult me by thinking I'm like those moronic hordes of girls that have a silly crush on a jackass who doesn't even give them the time of day!" I sucked in a huge breath of air. Wow…that was a long…tirade. But honestly!
"Hey, hey. Okay. Sorry bro. Sorry for jumpin' the gun." Kiba smiled at the windshield and the whole issue was dropped as we moved on to other topics. None of it really resonated with me though as my mind was stuck on this one conversation. Sure the Uchiha was hot. That's the reason all the girls fawned over him. But it's not like I like him or anything! That's ridiculous. I've never even talked to him. And he's a prick so I don't even want to get to know him. I just can't believe I admitted to Kiba that he I think he's hot. Well he is super hot now that I think about at least the times I've seen. Wait! Crap. No! Bad Naruto! Temes aren't hot. Definitely not….
.LINELINELINELINELINELINELINE LINELINELINELINE.
(Preview for next chapter)
Apparently some Katie girl is having a party and she invited Temari. And Temari invited us. And yes that does count as an invite for Naruto Uzumaki!
Parties. The funny thing about parties is that they always seem to be a total fail or a total blast.
Oh Uchiha is here. Yeah, he's definitely hot. Whoa there. I mean somewhat nice-looking for a prick. Yes. Oh shit he's looking at me. He's looking at me! Awkward eye contact. I feel stalkerish! Eep! Stay calm. Shit! Calm. Fuck! Oh motherfucking Ramen.
First chapter done. Please let me know what you think. If I get a good number of reviews then I'll continue the story, if not then I'm not sure. The more reviews the faster I will post the next chapter. Let me know what you think and if you have any questions. And all the chapters after this will contain Sasuke. This one was slightly lacking in that. But REVIEW CHILDREN REVIEW!