AN: The response to this fic amazes me. I'm glad you're enjoying it. This is a bit of a filler chapter, but Caroline needs time to adjust. Then it will be fun.
Three. Standing Still
"I feel broken down." ~Standing Still, Jewel
Caroline sat in the warmth of Silas' arms, simply staring at the dead bodies that still lie on the floor. There was Matt, throat torn out, blue eyes not seeing anything. He would never smile again, or throw another football. His days of pining for Elena were done.
Then there was Liz. Caroline had never noticed how… small her mother was before. Liz had always worn authority like a coat, and it had made her seem so much bigger than she really was. Larger than life. Now that the life was gone from her, Caroline realized for the first time just how petite her mother was. Almost delicate, even.
They were vague, uninterested observations. The observations of Caroline-after-switch-flip, Caroline who felt separate from all this now. The Caroline who felt utterly empty. Was this how Elena had felt? As if she was cut off from reality, floating in a stasis where she knew what she should be feeling, but it would take too much effort to feel that way?
Or was Caroline simply too broken to even turn off her humanity right?
"Let go of me," she said to Silas, and even her voice sounded empty. Caroline reached up and pulled Silas' arms away from her, not waiting to see if he would obey her command to release him or not. "I'll need new clothes. I can't walk around covered in Matt's blood."
"Of course. I have them for you already. I've had a productive morning."
The smirk on Silas' face was victorious as he wrapped on of Caroline's blonde curls around his finger. Caroline frowned at him, remembering when another monster had done that just days before, only now that she had turned it off, Klaus didn't seem nearly as monstrous anymore. In fact, Caroline could actually see the logic in most of his actions.
Except for his pursuit of her. That still didn't make any sense, and Caroline didn't have it in her to try and reason out the Hybrid's motives.
She had graves to dig.
"Did you bring a shovel, as well?" Caroline asked Silas.
"No, we don't need one," Silas replied carelessly. "Now that you're ready for phase two, we can leave this place. Let your friends deal with the bodies."
Something in Caroline rebelled against that, the thought of simply leaving Liz and Matt here to rot until someone happened to find them. Liz was her mother, Matt the first boy she loved. Those were important things, right? They deserved at least a burial.
"I've removed the spelled barriers that have protected our location. Bonnie will find them with a location spell, and they'll get a proper burial. They served a greater purpose, and for that they deserve more than an unmarked grave in the forest. Come, Caroline. We have to go."
"What if I don't?" Caroline asked. "What if I stay here, go with my friends. That will ruin your plans, won't it?"
"And tell them what? How you killed Matt? How you turned off your humanity? You remember how Bonnie was after you were turned. How long do you think she'll stand by you after she realizes you're no longer the girl she once loved? And Damon has already shown time and again that you're only useful until you're not, and then you're dead. He cares for Elena, not you. Do you really think he'll take the time to try and fix you as they are with Miss Gilbert? Or will he just kill you? You've killed one of them now, Caroline. And not just one of them, but a human one of them. There is no going back for you. Just going forward. And I'm all that's in your future."
Caroline looked back at Matt. Matt, over whose eyes all the girls had swooned. It was true, they had always put more importance on human life than vampire life, and now that Matt was dead by Caroline's hands, she would be an enemy. After all, she hadn't turned off her humanity yet when it had occurred. She had just been a girl who was heartbroken over watching her mother die in front of her.
"You're good," Caroline mused, looking at Silas. "You've studied us. You know our weak points, our strong points. You're right, I can't go back to my friends. But I can go to Klaus. He won't care what I've done, because he'll have done wore."
Silas flashed in front of Caroline and grabbed her throat, lifting her off the ground. Caroline had experienced the strength of the Originals, Klaus in particular, and a thrill of fear managed to push its way into the emptiness Caroline felt and lodge itself there and she realized how much stronger Silas was than the Original Hybrid.
"He was attracted to your light," Silas said. "And that has dimmed to the point of non-existence. But if you're so determined to go to him, then I'll extinguish him completely. I'll remove everything of the Caroline he loved from you, and then you'll have no choice but me. You're really too stubborn for your own good, Caroline."
And with a crack, Caroline's world went black.
STILL-DOLL
Bonnie had successfully located Liz Forbes.
She had been alternating between doing a location spell on Liz and Matt for at least two hours, when finally it had succeeded. They were in old catacombs on Fell land that Klaus swore he had searched up and down, but had left empty handed.
"Silas can change reality," Bonnie said. "It's how he can appear as people's loved ones. If he can do that, what's to say he can't make a cave look empty when it's not?"
"Because he would have to be able to fool me," Klaus growled in reply. "He would have to be able to use his powers to make me believe the caves were empty!"
"He had me utterly convinced he was my Grams on the island," Bonnie interjected. "He even smelled like her, Klaus. Silas' illusions are very, very good."
"It's not like this would be the first time he fooled you, brother," said Rebekah, who had returned earlier after discovering that Matt was nowhere to be found. "He had you convinced that he was Caroline for a while, didn't he? And if anyone can recognize Caroline, it's you. God knows you have enough drawings of her."
That was sort of creepy, Bonnie thought to herself as she followed the siblings to the SUV they would take to the caves. It was sort of creepy that Klaus was so obsessed with Caroline that he drew pictures of her, even when she was still in love with Tyler and tried her best to ignore Klaus unless she was playing bait.
Then again, Caroline had always attracted the dark and broken. It was just who she was.
"Why don't we just run?" Rebekah asked as Klaus began the drive through the forest.
"Not all of us can outrun Speedy Gonzales, Rebekah," Bonnie replied with a huff. "Unless of course you're volunteering to give me a piggy back? In which case, I'd have to refuse."
"Be careful, Bonnie," Klaus warned. "I haven't forgotten who is responsible for Kol's death and my imprisonment. Right now, you're useful for finding Caroline. You are alive because you're of more use to me that way than you are dead. I can change my mind."
"At some point, you're going to have to stop that," Bonnie stated. "Threatening to kill us all of the time. Caroline would never forgive you, and right now I think that she's more important to you than revenge." Bonnie crossed her arms and met Klaus' eyes in the rear view mirror. "We all want the same thing right now. We want Caroline safe."
"Yes, you lot would certainly hate to lose your Klaus bait, wouldn't you?" Rebekah cut in scathingly. Klaus shot her a dark look, and Rebekah glared right back. "Really, Nik, I may not like the girl, but I can see how this lot uses her. They never consider that, if you cared for her a little less, you would have killed her long ago. They just keep sending her into a wolf's den and never care what might happen to her as long as it keeps precious Elena safe at the end."
"That's not true," Bonnie interjected. "I love Care. She's my best friend. Stefan loves her too, and Elena, when she's able to love. Caroline is just… she's always so in control. It never seems as if we have to worry about her, because she's always the strong one." Bonnie rubbed her arms and looked out the window. "I don't know what we'll do, if that's gone. If she can't be the strong one anymore."
Neither Original sibling replies, but Bonnie feels that they both have plenty to say on the subject, none of it kind toward Caroline's friends.
STILL-DOLL
Rebekah smelled the blood before they ever entered the caves. A quick glance at Nik told her that he smelled it as well. It is thick in the air, but at least an hour old, making it unappealing to Rebekah's ancient senses, much like the blood bags that Caroline swears by.
"You may want to stay here," Nik said to Bonnie, and Rebekah shot him a surprised glance. Nik never tries to make others feel comfortable, not unless it's Caroline, and that he is making such an effort for Bonnie Bennett surprises Rebekah more than she can say.
Then the scent of blood begins to differentiate itself, and Rebekah can tell who it belongs to, and Nik's attempt at kindness makes more sense.
It is not just Elizabeth Forbes who has found her end inside these caves, but Matthew Donovan as well.
Rebekah has to fight back a sob. Matt was the first human in this town to show her kindness, real kindness, not the fake kind that Elena had shown before shoving a dagger into her back. He was bright, promising beacon in an otherwise miserable town, and now he is dead because he was a loyal friend who got caught up in the supernatural despite his better judgement.
Bonnie looked between Rebekah and Nik, and her brow furrowed
"What is it?" she asked. "What do you know that I don't?"
"You'll want to stay out here, Bonnie," Rebekah said, her voice far kinder than it had ever been when addressing the witch. But Rebekah can feel sympathy, and while she hates that the whole lot of these teenagers killed two of her brothers, she also realized that the loss of Matt so soon after Jeremy Gilbert's death will destroy them.
"It's Liz, isn't it?" Bonnie asked. "She's in there, dead, and you two are actually… are you guys trying to be kind?" Bonnie's voice is shocked, but she shakes her head. "Now isn't the time for a personality transplant. If… If Liz is in there, we need to see if there's anything we can-can do. And then we need to take care of a burial. Caroline would be heartbroken if Liz didn't get a proper burial."
"It's not just Liz, Bonnie," Rebekah said, reaching out and grasping Bonnie's wrist when the witch tried to push her way between the siblings. "I… there's more. Liz isn't the only one back there. It's…"
"Matt," Bonnie breathed, her brown eyes widening with horror. "Oh God, Matt!"
Bonnie wrenched her wrist away from Rebekah and ran into the caves. It didn't take her long to find the massacre. Rebekah imagined that, even with a human's weak sense of smell, the scent of blood had become overwhelming shortly after entering the cave. Rebekah followed the broken sound of Bonnie's sobs with Nik at her side, and the pair found the witch kneeling between the bodies of Liz Forbes and Matt, her hands clutching at one of each of theirs.
It was horrible, even to Rebekah. There was a stake shoved into Liz's heart, and Matt's throat had been completely mangled. Rebekah couldn't even begin to imagine the circumstances that had led to the conclusion she saw before her, and her heart broke for Caroline when her eyes drifted to the chains attached to a chair and Rebekah realized that the other blonde must have played witness to the scene in front of them.
"I can smell Caroline," Nik said, sniffing at the air. "They couldn't be gone a half hour. I…"
Nik looked helplessly at the body of Liz Forbes, and Rebekah realized that her big brother, who usually at least thought he had all the answers, was at a loss. Did he go after the girl he loved, or stay to take care of her mother's body, as Caroline would surely want him to?
"Go after her," Rebekah said to him. "Bonnie and I can take care of this. Bonnie will have a better idea of what they would want done anyways."
Nik shot Rebekah a brief, thankful look, something he had never done before, and then he was gone. Rebekah stepped into the cave and walked slowly to Bonnie, who was still sobbing between the bodies. Rebekah knelt down and laid her hand over the witch's shoulder.
"Bonnie, we have to take care of this. It's what they would want us to do, and I need your help. Can you do that?" Rebekah asked, her voice as soft as it had ever been when speaking to one of the Mystic Falls Scooby Gang.
"Care saw this happen, Rebekah," Bonnie said, looking up at the blonde with tear filled eyes. "She saw her mom die, and Matt, and what kind of monster would do this to her? To us? What did Liz and Matt ever do to deserve this? What did Caroline ever do to deserve this?"
"Nothing," Rebekah replied firmly. "They did absolutely nothing. Caroline was herself, and when Caroline is herself she draws in the darkest souls that the world has to offer. She didn't deserve this, but you have to be strong. Because she won't be, Bonnie. I can guarantee you, this will have broken her. When Caroline returns, there will be nothing of her left. So you will have to be strong while she can't be. And you'll have to bury her mother, and Matt, because Caroline can't. Help me with this."
Bonnie looked away, back at the bodies. She reached out with shaking fingers and closed first Liz's eyes, and then Matt's. Then she stood, and her back was rigid, and her eyes were still filled with tears, but also determination to be strong for those that remained.
"We need to call my dad."
STILL-DOLL
Caroline didn't know where she was when she awoke, but it seemed pretty shady.
"Please tell me we are not in some cheap motel room that charges by the hour," she groaned as she sat up in the bed. The only bed the room had to offer.
"It doesn't charge by the hour," Silas replied, from where he had been watching her in the single arm chair the room boasted.
"That's creepy. You're creepy," Caroline muttered, but her heart wasn't in it.
The events of the last few hours were catching up with her.
Liz was dead.
Caroline had killed Matt.
And now, Caroline floated in a sea of emptiness. Caroline couldn't understand the appeal of this, of not having any emotions. Elena had made it seem so fun, but Caroline didn't see how anyone could have fun like this. Feeling anything, even something as superficial as fun, just seemed like too much work. All Caroline could feel was empty and fractured and so very, very tired.
"I think my switch is broken," Caroline said to Silas. She didn't particularly want to talk to Silas, but there was no one else, and speaking out loud was better than being inside her own head. "Everyone else makes this seem easy, as if being without humanity is the best thing in the world. Why don't I feel like that?"
Silas leaned back and steepled his fingers together. He had a pianist's hands, Caroline noted vaguely. Long, slender fingers that would be perfect for playing the keys just right. It surprised her, that such a monster would have such elegant hands, but Caroline supposed it shouldn't have. Look at Klaus, who create such beautiful images of her, then turn around and slaughter twelve hybrids and a mayor for revenge.
"I told you, we have only reached phase one of your transformation. You are not meant to feel nothing, Caroline, and so this is your way of grieving, even without your emotions. You'll feel better, once we reach stage two."
"What's stage two?" Caroline asked, but it was really just a way to keep the conversation going, to keep her out of her own head. Caroline didn't really care.
"Anger," Silas replied succinctly.
"Anger at who?" Caroline replied idly. "You for destroying everything I was?"
"No, anger at your friends for caring more for Elena than for you. Anger at Bonnie for letting me manipulate her so that you had to kill twelve people in your name. Anger at Klaus for driving away Tyler, and anger at Tyler for letting it happen," Silas leaned forward so his arms were braced on his knees. "And I suppose anger at me as well. You have so much to be angry for, Caroline. Let that anger out, and together we will paint the world red."
"You don't know me very well," Caroline responded, still feeling empty. "I'm always the expendable one. I've known that since the start. Why should I get angry over that now?"
"Because now, you have someone to show you that you should be a queen."
Caroline met Silas' grey eyes with her own blue ones. Once upon a time, those words from such an attractive man would have made her swoon. Back when she was foolish, naïve, human Caroline, she would have been putty in Silas' hands.
Now, Caroline simply felt done.
"I'm no queen."
AN: And so Caroline is just kind of numb and Klaus (in all his evil glory) totally predicted what happened in that cave.
The response to Shipper!Elena has been amazing. I'm considering writing one shots surrounding her and her ship stalking just because it would be fun and pure crack fic. Let me know what you think about the idea and, of course, this chapter. I love to hear your thoughts!