House Targaryen
Just so you know, Loblaws is a Canadian chain of grocery stores.
Sansa
Sansa was woken up by a loud scream across her bedroom and then a few scattered voices yelling at each other it mostly consisted of what sounded like Joffrey's voice screaming 'YOU'RE MOVING UP ON MY HATE LIST!"
The condom had somehow popped off of her arm during the night, thank God. Dany was stuffing clothes into a bag and Drogo and Joffrey were yelling at each other. Sansa got out of bed,
"WILL THE TWO OF YOUR SHUT YOUR MOUTHS AND GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT?!"
"We were about to go back to my apartment." Dany cut in, "Viserys won't mind, he's hungover and apparently his girlfriend is camping out in our living room."
Sansa put her hair up and glanced at the clock on her nightstand, it was 5:11 am, nobody was up yet. Joffrey began to write on a Kleenex.
"What the fresh hell are you writing?" Dany asked, seeming annoyed
"A new hate list, Little Miss I-must-know-everything. And I'm putting you and Indian Burn at the top."
Dany glanced at the list, "You spelled my name wrong."
"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I CARE?!"
"Can we leave?" Sansa asked, Dany and Joffrey glared at each other.
Rickon was sleeping on the couch in the living room, ShaggyDog was laying next to him.
"Okay, we have to be quiet, he's a light-ass sleeper."
"I thought you locked him in his room."
"Well, he obviously got out."
They headed into the hallway and down the flight of stairs that separated the apartments. Once inside the Targaryen apartment they saw a girl in the kitchen.
"DOREAH?"
"Hiiiii, kids. I only know two of you, DROGO KHATCHADORIAN DOES YOUR MOTHER KNOW YOU'RE HERE?!"
"DAAANNYYYYY." yelled Viserys's voice from across the apartment, "HURRY UP AND BRING ME A BOWL, I'M ABOUT TO HURL ALL OVER THE PLACE-"
"THERE IS A WASHROOM FIVE FEET AWAY." Dany screamed back.
"We got somewhat slightly a little hammered last night." whispered Doreah. "Goddarn that shit was fun- FRICK-" Doreah puked into the sink, "Alcohol is bad, kids. BUT IT SURE IS FUN."
Joffrey scribbled Doreah's name and 'meat grinder' onto his new hate list.
Viserys tripped out of his room, he was sheet-white,
"Okay, just puked up my spleen in there." he walked over to Doreah and put his hand up her skirt, she giggled,
"You crackass, there's kids in the room!"
"Ugh, okay fine, YOU-" Viserys stared at Drogo. "GET OUT OF HERE."
"Relax, I know his mother." Doreah settled the dispute.
"I'M WATCHING YOU. I HAVE EYES EVERYWHERE. YOU DON'T WANT TO WAKE THE DRAGON, SON. Oh, and Dany, Catelyn emailed all of us. She got all of you a volunteer job."
...
Sansa popped into the apartment, her face was red. Arya poured more Reese's Puffs into her bowl and smirked,
"MOTHER, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"
Catelyn turned around from the sink, "Sansa, please don't scream, RICKON IS SLEEPING!" she whisper-screamed, Sansa glanced at sleeping Rickon on the couch,
"WHY IS HE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH?"
"He wanted to watch TV, I couldn't say no to that face."
"Anyway, WHY DID YOU SIGN ME UP FOR A JOB? Not only that, I'm not getting paid?"
"It's not that hard, I promise, a friend of mine was looking for help so I signed all of you guys up!"
"Will Dany be there?"
"Yes, I emailed Viserys."
"And Drogo? She'll be miserable if he's not there."
"Yes, I didn't know his mother's email so I asked that Irri girl who always gives Bran chocolate. They all live in one apartment, it's kind of weird."
"What exactly are we all doing?!"
"It's at the grocery store, packing delivery boxes."
"Isn't that the job where you need to come in at four in the morning?"
"It'll teach you responsibility!"
Sansa collapsed on the couch and landed on Rickon, he jerked awake.
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" he sobbed,
"SUCK IT UP YOU LITTLE SHIST, YOU GET TO SLEEP LATE STILL!"
Rickon started to cry harder and ran over to Catelyn.
"Sansa Sophie Stark, you can't treat your brother that way, someday, he could own Westeros Pines!"
"The Baratheons own Westeros Pines."
Catelyn was silent, "Okay, Rickon, go wake Bran up." she sent Rickon off down the hall and turned to Sansa, "We still need to have a talk."
"Oh yeah, a talk, okay, I'm going to Starbucks."
"IT'S NOT OPEN. SIT." Catelyn got up and sat next to Sansa, "I found a condom in Jon's shower."
"It's all him and Ygritte."
"And there was a big wine stain on the white carpet."
"DROGO IS 18, HE'S LEGAL!"
"CERSEI LANNISTER CALLED ME AT 4 AM ASKING WHY HER SON HAD A HICKEY ON HIS LITTLE PORCELAIN ASS!"
"I was not involved in that."
"Sansa, you need to learn how to be a Stark, and that means ask for my permission before you risk getting herpes, I'm going to call my sister."
"Not Aunt Lysa."
"YES, AUNT LYSA." Catelyn picked up the phone and dropped it as it began to ring, "Lord Jesus that thing is loud. Hello? Sansa, it's your new boss."
Sansa took the phone from her mother, "Hello?"
"Hi, are you Sansa Stark?" said a female voice, "My name is Melisandre, I'm your new boss. Well, for tomorrow morning, anyway."
"Hi... Are you from the grocery store?"
"Loblaws, yes, won't that be fun?"
"I think so."
"We can't wait to have you come and help us make the world a better place. Come in at four tomorrow, ready to help out the community!" Melisandre's cheery voice hung up on the other end. Sansa dropped the phone.
"What have you gotten me into, Mother?"
"IT WILL TEACH YOU RESPONSIBILITY!"
Daenerys
Viserys dropped her and Sansa off outside the store at 4 am.
"Are you sure you can't get us out of this?"
"I don't know, ask your boyfriend." Viserys sassed, driving away. Sansa whined and sat down on the sidewalk when a woman with red hair and a red dress ran out the sliding automatic doors,
"HI GIRLS!"
"Who the fuck is that...?" Dany whined,
"I'm Melisandre, I'll be your boss!" Sansa stood up, "You ladies are late."
"We just woke up..."
"Well, you'll have to wake up earlier, heheh..." Melisandre tittered, "Welcome to Loblaws." She led them inside into a room full of shelves with different foods on them, Joffrey, Talisa, Drogo, Theon, Ygritte, Margaery, Robb and Jon were already there,
"ROBB AND JON?" Sansa squealed, "Why are you here, did Mom sign you up too?"
"Yeah, to make sure you didn't kill anyone."
Sansa didn't say anything.
"Welcome, kids, welcome, this is the storeroom, you know when you order food online and it magically appears at your door? Well, this is where the magic happens. But this is only where some of the magic happens as this is only non-perishables, we also have a frozen foods aisle."
"Sounds pretty chill." said Theon, he started to laugh at his own joke, he fell over and didn't get back up. When Dany looked at him harder, she saw that he was sleeping.
"Should someone wake him up?"
"Let him be." said Melisandre, "Just let him have his fun while he can." she started handing out lists, Dany got hers and it was mostly just lemon juice and frozen croissants. "Okay, kids, disperse, you need to be done this bunch by six. When you finish you first list, come back for another."
Dany started towards the frozen food aisle and passed Talisa next to a row of cereal, she had sunglasses on.
"You okay, Talisa?"
"Gotta getta cereal..." she deadpanned, shoving a rack of cereal boxes into her cardboard box, she snored and collapsed on the tile floor. Dany glanced around to make sure nobody saw and ran away. She grabbed six boxes of croissants and started towards the lemon juice, on her way there, she walked straight into a window. She bounced off and walked into a rack of chips.
Dany realized that she was putting herself and everyone around her in danger just by letting herself stay awake. She grabbed some lemon juice and left her box in the storeroom, then ran upstairs to find the offices.
She snuck into an office and laid down under the desk.
"NO nononononono, I'm sleeping here." a voice protested, Dany looked around and saw Jon.
"Just stay on your side."
'I didn't get any sleep last night."
"Be quiet. If someone hears us we're fucked."
Dany and Jon laid on different sides of the desk for about ten minutes until they hear the door unlock, a man opened the door, Dany and Jon and the man stared at each other for about thirty seconds before he ran away yelling 'INTRUDERS INTRUDERS!'
Jon ran away down the hall, Dany ran the other way.
Sansa
Sansa woke up on the ground with her head resting on a bag of flour. She was laying on the tile floor next to a rack of laundry detergent. From where she was sitting she could see Margaery walking through the frozen foods section and collapsing. Her coworkers were dropping like flies, it was like watching the apocalypse. Sansa got up and felt for her list on the floor, so far, she only had flour, and there were 26 items to go. She put the flour in the box and walked in the direction of the juice concentrate.
When she got there she shoved a few cans into the box and grabbed the chips that were also on the list. Sansa was pretty sure she as the last one standing. She walked towards the Twizzlers and found Ygritte nestled into a display case of frozen sausage rolls, out cold. She saw Dany and Jon running through the aisles, they skidded to a stop in front of her.
"So, funny story, we need you to hide us because this guy thinks we're intruders."
"Dany, go hide in the Doritos, Jon, you can hide with Ygritte in the display case by the yogurt." Sansa whined.
"Sounds chillful." said Jon, smirking and running away. Dany stayed,
"I don't like this."
"Why do people think y'all are intruders?"
"We were kind of sleeping under a desk."
"I hope that's all, I don't want little nieces running around."
Dany ran away in the direction of the Doritos. Sansa went off in search of gum, and that's when she saw it.
It was a red button about the size of a scented candle sticking out of the wall on the side of the checkout. Sansa wasn't exactly a stupid person, in fact, her grades were pretty good. And she knew, like most people in the world, that if you see a big red button behind a checkout you don't usually press it. But Sansa hadn't gotten nearly enough sleep and what else did she really have to lose after she got wine on the carpet? She pressed the button.
Nothing happened.
"Oh yeah!" Sansa shouted, she started to twerk. Melisandre came over and she quit.
"Hello, dear."
"Hi, boss."
"Please, hon, call me Mel or Red Sunday School Teacher. I teach Sunday School."
"I got punched in Sunday School once."
Melisandre grinned threateningly, "Not my Sunday School. Oh, I actually have a question, earlier today, two teenagers were seen sleeping under a desk, my coworker Davos saw them, do you know anything about that?"
"...No. Why would I?"
"Oh... no reason. You're a good girl, you wouldn't sleep. But that Targaryen, I think I'll ask her, she seems a little shifty."
Melisandre walked away, Sansa decided that she wouldn't get Dany out of this one and went to go get cranberry juice.
...
It was 10 am when they finished. Everyone was awake by then and Sansa was happier than ever to be out of that store. The kids all went back to the storeroom and Melisandre was waiting there. She looked angry.
"OKAY, WHO DID IT?" she interrogated, "Who pressed the panic alarm? I know the perp is in this room."
Sansa felt like a stick was going up her butt. She wanted to die. How was she supposed to know that damn button was a panic alarm? It didn't do anything! Sansa's hands started to sweat and vibrate.
"I didn't know there was a panic alarm here." Talisa whispered,
"YOU PRESSED IT?"
"No, but I didn't know-"
"I'm keeping you all here until I get the truth, I just had to cancel the SWAT team and we've been fined $15 000!"
Sansa started to shiver, she didn't even have time to be embarrassed or sad because she was just focusing on how much she wanted to universe to just delete itself. Her coworkers were glancing suspiciously at each other, her own actions with that freaking button were pitting them against each other. Sansa started to whine to herself and rock back and forth on her heels. Robb sneezed violently and fell over, sneezed again and pretended to have a seizure, giggling the whole time, nobody else laughed. Melisandre sucked in her cheeks.
"Robb, I will step on your face." Joffrey whispered, "And put you on the top of my Hate List if you don't get up."
"TALK ABOUT DISRESPECT!" Melisandre shrieked, "Everyone have a seat, we're gonna be here for a while. Once the perp gets up."
"HATE LIST!" Joffrey squealed, his voice reaching an octave that would have been hard for a mouse to hit, "ALL O' Y'ALL ON THAT THING."
"You need to find a better outlet for your emotions." Margaery whined, "Jesus, someday you're just gonna kill someone."
"IT'LL BE TODAY." He squeaked again, "I'M THINKING INDIAN BURN."
"My name is two syllables long, it's not that hard-" Drogo whispered, Melisandre cut him off when she glanced over.
"IT'LL BE ANOTHER SYLLABLE IF YOU DON'T ADMIT TO BEING THE PERP."
"I was the perp a second ago." said Robb, "It's not like we all went to go press the button as a team."
"A likely story."
"It's one button, it only takes one person to press, like, just one finger." Theon argued,
"Can it, Greyjoy." Melisandre snapped, "Or I will shove these non-perishables right up your lying ass, you little perp."
"How do you know his last name?" Jon asked, Melisandre leapt in front of him,
"DO YOU WANT TO BURN IN HELL, SON? THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE LIE AND PRESS THE ALARM! PERP!" Sansa wanted to lay down and die. Drogo leaned over,
"I'm about to just say I did it so we can leave."
"THERE YOU GO, YOU'RE GETTING AN EXTRA SYLLABLE! You know what? I'm just gonna go check the cameras!" Melisandre walked away, Sansa hit the floor.
"Don't make a scene..." Ygritte whispered, she was getting pissed and her skin was red from the frozen hot dogs. Margaery was halfway through her run of Hail Marys, Drogo and Dany were holding hands with their eyes closed. Joffrey was holding his Hate List over his face and crying. Theon was twerking and whimpering at the same time. Robb was asleep. Sansa started to rock back and forth, Melisandre came back into the room.
"Okay. I found the perp. Sansa. You've been caught." The whole room relaxed. Sansa almost peed her pants. "Unfortunately for me, I can't fire you from a one-day volunteer job. But all of you need to get out of my store before I completely lose it. Don't get yourselves killed, the parking lot is dark and full of terrors."