The Moron that is Me

by A writer has no name

"Sasuke Uchiha is the world's biggest prick" according to seventeen year old Naruto Uzumaki. But after a party where some things go down, Naruto finds himself constantly thinking about him. But Naruto knows Sasuke uses people and throws them away without a care. He's not like those moronic girls fawning all over that teme. Definetly not! Not a chance...right?

15. Chapter 14

Sorry for the wait!

Chapter 14: When a Light Goes On

My phone buzzed for what was the billionth time in the past four hours. It is six in the morning currently. So, yes, the calls had been flying in since exactly two in the morning. When it rang the first time, the vibrations had scared me shitless, pulling me from my dreams, my lovely dreams of me growing ramen on a farm. It's a dream, it doesn't have to be logical!

Self-imposed isolation day was technically over, and I was livid (any rational person would be after getting fifty fucking calls a minute!) so I picked the phone up and hit answer. My eyes weren't even open all the way yet, but I was glaring blearily at the foggy outline of the closet doors, opening my mouth to tell off the dumbass that calls at that time of night. I was about to unleash hell's fury on the son of a bitch. Seriously. It's like sacrilegious to disturb someone's sleep to this extent. I think life had thrown enough at me in the past 48 hours, the whole ringing phone thing was the cherry on top. I can't even sleep peacefully. Life's a bitch.

"What the fuck do you want?!" I snarled into the phone. For all I knew it could have been Kiba or some kind, confused old lady. I didn't care though, I was mad I was woken up and this person would endure my wrath. Kiba would understand. And the old lady…yeah well I guess she'd learn not to call me at this time again.

"Hn. Uzumaki."

….eh?...

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

That broody, velvety voice.

And pop goes my balloon of Naruto-wrathfulness. Quickly followed by confusion and shock. My eyes bugged out of my skull and I suddenly felt completely awake.

Silence followed and my brain was working a mile a minute to comprehend what was happening. 'Speak you idiot!' I yelled at myself, but I just couldn't grasp onto anything to say.

Gah, fuck you stupid brain! Work! Work! You suck at school so the least you can do is give me the ability to produce speech!

"Look…fuck. I, um, I-" Sasuke sounded uncertain and almost sad. "…I just wanted to know if you were alright?" My breathing stopped. He wanted to know if I was alright?

Alright?

"What?" I managed to croak out after a few beats of awkward silence.

Am I alright?

Umm let me ponder this thought…hmm…NO!

"Well that wasn't the main reason I called…I mean I wanted to make sure you were okay and everything! That isn't what I meant! But…I just wanted to…apologize." Holy. Fucking. Hell. In. A. Ramen. Bowl.

Did that just happen? Pigs…I glance out my window. Pigs, are they flying?

I clutched the sheets in my hands, fisting them so tightly it hurt. My heart rate picked up and I wanted to punch his face in. I wanted to punch his perfect, slender nose completely into his skull. Then kiss him. Then throw him off the nearest bridge. And finally, check myself into a mental ward.

He sounded serious. He actually meant it. What in the name of ramen is happening?

I want to see him.

Aw, shit I totally shouldn't be thinking that way. Bad Naruto!

"Naruto," He stated. And damn, you know shit is serious when Sasuke uses my first name. Or he is really turned on. I garnered that information from our hot and heavy make-out sessions. Whoa, damn those were something else. It's not even just his looks, its his voice, his personality….and I'm blushing. I'm blushing! Die, Sasuke-teme, you ass! What have you done to me!

"I just want to say that I'm-" I hit the end call button with almost enough force to break my phone. Wide-eyed and panicky, I stared at my phone as it lay in my palm. Oh my god. I just hung up on Sasuke.

Then it suddenly started vibrating again.

Completely freaked out, I threw it away from me. With a sickening crack it had proceeded to hit the wall. I probably should have been concerned about my dearest phone but I didn't give my phone's damage a second thought as I sat up in bed, struck stupid by what just occurred.

Because, that had been Sasuke fucking Uchiha (aka Ice Bastard that screwed up my life in the past few weeks, aka guy on the top of my hit list, aka the person that made me turn into a jello-ey blushing mess with one look), and Sasuke fucking Uchiha did not have sympathy/compassion/guilt. He was heartless. He had to be. Because if Sasuke had a heart then everything was so much more fucked up than it previously had been.

Goddamn, and I thought puberty was hard.

IAMALINEIAMALINEIAMALINE-

So at six in the morning, I was bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and just slightly on edge. I eyed my buzzing phone with malice. Slowly I slid out of bed and walked toward it. As I approached the thing, the buzzing ceased. With a sock encased toe, I nudged it. It didn't move.

It looked dangerous okay?! Like maybe it was waiting to bite me or something. I mean, I did throw it last night. Phones have feelings too….jeez, I don't think I'm thinking clearly. I hope it's just the lack of sleep and not something permanent.

Cautiously I bent down and flipped it over. "Shit!" slipped through my lips in a hiss as I took in the cracked screen. It was hard to make out what any of the bottom of the screen said, but the top part was decently intact. If I were the phone I'd bite me; after all I seriously injured it.

I glowered when I observed the notification that informed me I had thirty missed calls. I know for a fact that at least twenty were from the teme. I had been counting, sort of. Oh yeah, I customized his ringtone…it's not weird.

Forty minutes later, Kiba pulled into a parking spot at school. I quickly got out and I'm talking like ninja fast considering my body was ridiculously sluggish from the lack of sleep. Why did I feel the need to escape so quickly? Because the car ride was basically an interrogation. I had never been asked if I was alright more in a ten minute interval. Dog-breath had good intentions but I did not know where to start explaining how I felt. Did I look like I wanted to talk about?...well I guess I wouldn't necessarily know but I don't think I looked like I wanted to talk about it. Because I am perfectly alright. I am fucking fabulous.

As I came around the back of the car, Kiba threw his arm around me casually. It was kind of a half hug…kind of. Aw, Kiba is so nice. He really gets me. I looked at him lovingly (he's just such a good friend!) and his mouth opened as he prepared to say something. It was going to be, "Are you sure you are okay, Naruto?". No, seriously. I just know it. I'm so confident I'd bet my ramen supplies for a week.

And I really didn't want to hear the word alright again. In my entire fucking lifetime! And I plan to live til I'm a 100 so that's pretty damn long. So, with a devious smirk, I talked first.

"Oh Kiba, I didn't know you were comfortable with PDA?" I asked innocently. I turned to him with what I hope is my best innocent face. A devilish smile curling at my lips may have broken through my expert mask though and I wrapped my arms around his stomach. I wrapped them around loosely just in case he resorted violence. My poor belly-button piercing can't handle any abuse in its early stages.

"I'm so glad we could overcome this obstacle in our relationship." I cooed.

With a shriek, Kiba disentangled himself from me and put a few feet between us. He glared at me and I simply smiled back. His senses were on high alert and he glared at me with a hint of caution. He looked like a dog.

"Hey!" He shouted.

"Hey is for horses, dog-breath." I replied happily before snickering into my hand. A growl came from Kiba, solidifying all suspicions I had of him being part canine.

I took a step toward school, but Kiba suddenly grabbed my arm. Let it be shown on some record, that I am manhandled a lot….it must be because I'm so devilishly charming. The Usumaki is a master of smooth, believe it! Maybe not in front of the teme—wait, I'm not thinking of the teme anymore. I don't know what the name of ramen is going on with him and I'm not dealing with it now.

"Hold on, let's go get Gaara." Kiba motioned over to the next lot and I spotted Gaara leaning peacefully against Temari's car. As peacefully as a guy who was probably planning murder could look.

We made our way over there, Kiba sending me concerned glances every two steps. Every look just made me more and more irritated, but they also made me feel happy for having such great friends. It was confusing.

"Naruto, I meant to ask earlier but…uh, where did you get that shirt?" He snickered as he pointed to my shirt. I looked down and smirked cockily. This shirt is the best!

Puffing my chest out, I looked Kiba in the eyes. "You are just jealous," I replied haughtily.

This just made Kiba snort. "Yeah, whatever you say Mr. Foxy."

My shirt was a fitted bright orange v-neck with the word 'Foxy' in bold print in the middle. Kiba just wished he had a shirt this cool.

My smile faded as I glanced around and caught sight of Sasuke's car. I quickly looked away. I need to focus on something else and distract myself.

A large tree caught my eye. Ah, yes, nature!

Today is a lovely day, it really is. The leaves have begun to change colors so now they are all bright reds, yellows and, best of all, orange. The temperature is surprisingly warm for a fall day like summer is still lingering in the air. A soft breeze is present, just enough to be pleasant. Even the birds are chirping. I kind of want to throw some rocks at them so they shut up. Jeez I'm over here all pissed, hurt, confused, and annoyed and the birds are singing.

When we had first seen him, Gaara was leaning against the jeep. His head had been tipped back against the frame of the car, his body slouching against the outside, his eyes shut in a peaceful-like manner. Yeah, well that was deceiving. The moment I got within ten feet of him I could feel the killing intent. Once we reached Gaara, though, I became really nervous. Like very, very nervous, and just a tad bit concerned. And these anxious feelings were all because of the bloodthirsty aura being given off from beside me. (from coughGaaracough)

Immediately Kiba whipped out his cell phone, and after sharing a knowing look with me, dialed a number. There was only one person to call when Gaara was in 'murder mode' and that would be the tough cookie known as Temari.

"Hey," I said softly. Always approach a feral animal with caution. Make it feel safe and not threatened. After a few moments, Gaara's eyes opened slowly, fixed straight ahead….he is so gonna rip someone's head off.

I looked back at Kiba as he swore and redialed.

I glanced to the side of me at Gaara and flinched. His eyes were fixed ahead of him in a fierce glare that promised a brutal death for anyone it was directed toward. And I knew exactly who had inspired that gaze. Jesus, some shit was going to go down.

A nervous giggle escaped my lips. "Gaara," I tittered to my best friend. I really just needed to calm him down. Nervously I reached a hand toward his shoulder and after a moment's hesitation, I placed it down on the blood red t-shirt. At least the bloodstains wouldn't show. Shoot, not what I should be thinking right now.

Faster than lightning, his eyes flashed toward me. The sea green eyes were hostile and wild. Another nervous giggle slipped out, put I kept my hand in place. "Let's just take a breath, Gaara. Come on, I'm fine…You know I was actually just kidding. Er, yeah. It was all a joke." My words didn't even register with him. No, wait, his body just tensed up even more. I gulped and removed my hand. My words had just angered him more.

An elbow was jammed into my right side. With a grunt I shot a look at Kiba who looked paler than usual. "You made it worse, baka!" He hissed at me, sounding panicked. Gah, I fucking know! Thank you very much! You don't think I didn't realize that, dog-breath?! "I know!" I whispered back harshly. We both looked at Gaara nervously. "Fucking hell, where is Temari?" Kiba cried as he glared at his phone. He called her again.

"Shit! Watch him! I'm going to find her." I said to Kiba. He looked at me with wide eyes and seemed ready to tell me 'hell,no' but I was already running toward the school. I flew through the grounds and sprinted into the school. Weaving through the first two hallways, I turned down the first floor English wing (where I think Temari is making up a test).

And then I ran into a wall, or what at least felt like one. With an "uf!" I flew backwards, catching myself just in time so I didn't fall. I looked up and couldn't contain my surprise.

"Carrot Top!" I practically yelled. He flinched from the loudness of my voice and then glared once the nickname registered with him. Took him a couple minutes though, he's not the brightest in the bunch if you get my drift.

Then it clicked. This could be a good thing. "YOU! Go find Sasuke and tell him to stay away from me and more importantly Gaara. Okay? Hurry! Quick! Why aren't you gone yet? WELL?!" I knew I was yelling at him but it is an emergency! I stopped my rant for a moment to breathe. Carrot Top hadn't moved. He just stood there looking at me with a blank expression. This person may be the death of me.

"HELLLL-OOO?!" I yelled, about ready to punch him. Carrot Top better hope we never have an actual fire or something in the school because he moves like molasses. By god, he is a snail.

I grabbed my hair in frustration and growled. Will we move before I turn ninety? When I opened my eyes, Carrot Top was looking slightly freaked out. Well at least he was starting to catch the idea that this is urgent. It only took my yelling at him and resorting to madman tactics. I was about to start yelling at him some more when a familiar figure emerged from the classroom just down the hallway.

"Temari!" I shouted. A blonde head of hair whipped around in my direction. She eyed me, looking both peeved and miffed at the panting, antsy mess that was me. Eh, let's be honest I have looked much worse.

"Hurry!" With a narrowing of her eyes, she was jogging over to me and Carrot Top. Carrot Top looked like he wanted to leave but I glared at him. "I'm not done with you yet mister," I warned him. Temari arrived at my side. Not wasting anytime, I forced the words out.

"Ah haha, fuck, fuck, fuck! Your brother is going to kill him!" There was no need to elaborate on who 'him' was. She knew and her eyes widened in panic.

"That idiot! If he gets into another bad fight even Tsunade may not be able to keep him from getting expelled!" She cried in frustration. Exactly why I'm so worried! That and I think Sasuke may actually be a really good fighter. I just have a feeling he is. He is just borderline perfect at everything he does. I mean have you seen his build? I have and it is sexy—I mean, impressively tough. And that could mean Gaara could get hurt. Shit and I don't want Sasuke to get hurt either. Well actually I kind of want him to get his face punched in, but not really. Maybe just a little.

Temari took off at a speed walk to the front entrance. "Tell Sasuke!" I yelled to Carrot Top as I followed her. We ran through the hallways. Music spilled into them through the speakers, signifying that classes would start in sixty seconds. As we turned left into another corridor I saw the crowd of people. With an expletive, Temari broke into a sprint and bulldozed through the crowd. I followed in her wake, squeezing between people and threading through the crowd.

What greeted me was not good, AT ALL. The crowd had left a massive half circle around the glaring boys. On one side was Gaara, glaring murderously at the teme who was only five feet away, glaring back at him with cold contempt. The dangerous aura surrounding them was almost frightening.

Good job, watching Gaara, Kibs. Good job.

Kiba and Shika were standing a little bit behind Gaara. Shikamaru was muttering about trouble and trying to placate Gaara as Kiba shot uneasy glares at the two boys behind Sasuke. Neji was busy staring down Kiba while Suigetsu was telling Sasuke to knock it off.

Still pushing my way to the front, I opened my mouth to say something when I was roughly pushed by an overzealous spectator. I glanced at my feet as I regained my balance. When I looked back towards the fight, Gaara charged.

He flew at Sasuke, and in one quick, powerful motion, as Sasuke's eyes widened comically, Gaara dug his fist into the Uchiha's gut. He leaned forward, looking like he would double over, before quickly righting himself. After the hit, Sasuke didn't miss a beat though, as he quickly stepped out of swinging range and sneered at Gaara.

"Stop it, now!" Temari hollered at Gaara.

He rushes at Gaara, dodging the fist flying at his head and draws his fist back, driving his fist up in a right hook that sent Gaara stumbling back. I broke through most of the crowd then but paused, my mouth agape. Sasuke just hit Gaara. No one ever landed a blow on Gaara, let alone sent him backwards. Gaara, if possible, looked even more enraged and lands a light blow to Sasuke's bicep and then hard one to the very side of his head. It looked like it hit his cheekbone but it was hard to tell. Sasuke retaliated with a fury of quick punches that I could barely see. He was moving so fucking fast! I heard Sasuke grunt as Gaara punched him the stomach again, but not even a second later Sasuke's fist connected with Gaara's face. When the pale hand moved back, blood trickled from the split lip.

Suddenly my feet were moving, no longer glued to the floor from shock. I ran toward the two, not thinking anything except that I had to stop them. My feet quickly crossed the linoleum floor to where Sasuke and Gaara were bobbing and weaving and chucking fists at each other. Sasuke's arm was launching forward at Gaara's sternum when I lunged forward and my hands wrapped around his forearm.

"Stop it!" I yelled as I yanked it arm away from Gaara and pushed myself in the space between them. I glared at the two of them. Sasuke was looking at me like I was the most surprising thing in the world. Gaara was glaring fiercely, though not in the same bloodthirsty I'll-chop-you-into-pieces-and-dump-you-in-the-river kind of way that he had been looking at Sasuke. I mean Gaara's does kind of have a natural default glare.

I took a small step back so that I could look at both of their faces. "Cut it the fuck out!" I snarled. How could they be such damn idiots! I was not worth fighting over. Ugh! Morons! Assholes! Idiots! I'm surrounded by such stupid people!

"You…You…Gah, the fuck! You idiots!" I huffed. Livid. That was the only way to describe my mood. And maybe guilty. And touched because of what a sweet little best friend Gaara is. And a bit winded (I get exhausted quicker when I don't get enough sleep. But the point is, I'm angry. Like a raging whirlwind of fiery anger!

I turn to Gaara first because he is going to slit Sasuke's throat in like three seconds or at least try. I place my palm and his chest. His chest is chest is moving up and down rapidly as he pants. Turning my gaze towards Sasuke-teme, I place my other palm on his chest. His rapidly beating heart sends tingles through my arm in some pleasant, yet creepy and totally unwanted way that makes me realize I'm still pissed beyond all get out at this prick.

"WHAT'S GOING ON HE-…NA-RU-TO?!" Oh. Oh, fuck.

Angry hazel eyes lock with mine. At that very moment, my life flashed before my eyes. My beautiful, young, joyous life. I was never a bad kid, just mischievous and adorable.

Unconsciously, my hands fisted Gaara's and Sasuke's respective shirts.

She's going to kill me. No, she's going to tear me limb from limb and then kill me. Fuuuuuccckkkk.

Fuck me.

She's coming closer.

Closer.

Wow, she's being especially daring with that low-cut shirt.

Closer.

"Uzumaki."

My bowels just dropped to the linoleum.

"Care to tell me what is going on?" Her voice was low and dangerous. And smooth. Too smooth. Like the kind of smooth that you walk on and then you fall on your ass.

My breath caught in my throat. Even Gaara was as stiff as a board next to me. That should tell it all. Gaara is scared of no one. Except a furious Tsunade.

"And why are you always in the middle of all the trouble around here?" She finished in a deadly hiss.

….It's not me really Baa-chan! I'm an angel…kind of…okay not at all but…

Tsunade's eye twitched.

Shit. I'm fucked.

LLLIIIINNNEEELLLLIIIIINNNNEEEE\-

"So what you're telling me Mr. Uchiha is that all of this was self-defense?" Tsunade asked, her voice the same unnerving calm it had been since we stepped into her office. When I say we, I mean me, Gaara, and the teme. It's not awkward at all…

"Yes." Sasuke said curtly. His face (which was purpling along his jaw on the left side) was a cold, emotionless slate. He hadn't looked at me since we walked it the room. It didn't bother me at all. Not one, tiny, bit. Nope. At all.

Tsunade didn't make a sound but looked at Gaara. "Do you feel like talking yet, Mr. Akasuna? At least some kind of word or acknowledgement to help explain the situation or at least defend yourself?" Baa-chan's voice was calm but with an edge of annoyance.

I looked at Gaara anxiously. He needed to say something! Sasuke hadn't immediately thrown Gaara under the bus (surprisingly) but he had told Tsunade that Gaara had attacked him first after she wore him down. Gaara needed to say something. He could get suspended again or worse expelled! My pleading eyes did nothing though. Gaara was glaring straight at Baa-chan, not looking my way. Maybe he has a death wish. Because he was just digging himself deeper and deeper into a hole.

"Baa-chan, please don't suspend Gaara!" I blurted out, my hands finding the edge of the desk and gripping it tightly. Her eyes turned to me and I could feel Sasuke's do the same.

"It's all my fault. He just wanted to protect me. He was standing up for me! Please Baa-chan!" I cried desperately. Gaara just couldn't be expelled!

Tsunade's eyebrows wrinkled together and a frown tugged at her lips. "He was protecting you?" She asked slowly. It was kind of offensive how slow she said it actually. Seriously, the old hag knows I'm completely of sound mind!

"Yeah! Gaara's my knight in shining armor!"

A loud snort followed by hyena-like cackles sounded from behind Tsunade's closed door. All of us, including Gaara turned to look at the source of the noise.

"Temari Akasuna, I'm sure you aren't listening to our private conversation. Because if you were then you'd have to share in whatever punishment I give to your brother." Tsunade announced loudly.

A curse, followed by the scuffle of more than one pair of feet sounded and then receded. When I turned my head to look at Tsunade she was glaring at me. Just at me! It's not like them listening in was my fault! They are Gaara's friends too. And for all Tsunade knows Sasuke's little band of assholes could have been on the other side as well. Temari and her stupid witch laugh totally gave her away though.

I looked at Tsunade innocently. "I have no idea whose friends those were," I said as convincingly as possible.

Tsunade huffed and pressed her lips together. Maybe I'm not so convincing. Well, excuse me for not being an A+ liar. It's because I'm such an honest, kind soul. We can't all be soulless, lying machines with chiseled, godlike faces that make stellar emotionless masks. It's just not possible.

"I'm sure." Ah, Baa-chan, your words, they wound me!

Okay, last ditch effort.

"Have I mentioned how radiant you look today? That outfit does wonders for your figure. I mean wow, you are making me feel a little uncomfortable."

Yes, nailed it. Exactly like the pervy old man told me to say.

"Say that again and I'll knock you into next week!," Tsunade barked. Jiraiya you lazy old fart you said that was a surefire way to get a chick to get all melty and easy to deal with! Ugh!

"Don't ever quote that Jiraiya again, brat!" Apparently, Tsunade knows Jiraiya way too well. That was impressive deduction though. Too bad I'm not gonna fold that easily.

"What! How do you know I didn't just come up with that?" I demanded, glaring hotly at her. I hope she's not implying I can't be suave. Because I, Naruto Uzumaki, am as suave as they come. I invented suave. Before it was a soap!

"Did you really just ask me that?...Your, ehem, dating track record…" She said while looking at me meaningfully. What is trying to-…..oh.

"AH, Baa-chan you old hag! I can't believe you just fucking said that! That's personal!" I yelled while my face flushed red. Bright red. Like I was practically illuminated by the shade of red I was.

A small chuckle echoed in the room. It cut off almost immediately after it started but I heard. You fucking bet I heard it! I have ears like a hawk!...or maybe that's eyes like a hawk…whatever!

I whipped my head to the side to look at Sasuke who was completely impassive, EXCEPT for the small curling of his lip on one side. A-ha! I can read you like a book teme! It so was you.

"Teme!," I growled as I, of course, got even more red. I'm not even sure how that possible. I swear to god it's some kind of blushing condition. "You have no right to be laughing SasGAY!" I sneered. And because I am the mature adult I am, I stuck my tongue out at him.

Any hints of a smirk dropped away in an instant and annoyed, black eyes stared back at me challengingly. Oh, does Sasu-poo not like his nickname?

"Excuse me, dobe?" He asked lowly.

I took a step toward him. Our eyes were locked. If he thought I was going to back down to him, ever again, he was stupider than I initially thought he was. Come at me, bro!

"Enough!" Tsuande barked. I tore my gaze away and stepped back to my spot.

"What's going on? Did something happen between you two that I need to know about?" She asked, gesturing between the teme and me. "Did he do something to you, Naruto?" Her voice was hard and steely.

Tsunade may be hard on me but she loves me, and she doesn't like brats who mess with her brat.

I didn't even glance at Sasuke, instead I kept my gaze locked with Tsunade's.

"No, Baa-chan. He didn't do anything to me. It was some kind of misunderstanding…but we are all good now."

….I deserve nice guy award of the year. Seriously. Dammit, maybe I'm just a pussy. I just covered for the teme! Ugh! Naruto, you idiot, what are you thinking! Shoot, I can't think this way. It's so depressing. I'm not a pussy. I am Naruto Uzumaki, and I am not a pussy. I rock! Believe it!

"Alright then." Tsunade said slowly, cautiously, as if she was waiting for me to recant at any moment. I just nodded my head. She brought a palm to her head and looked down at the desk.

I glanced at Gaara out of the corner of my eye all sneakily like. His posture was completely tense, and his hands were gripping the chair so tightly I feared the wood might splinter. Eek. Not good.

I subtly shifted and glanced at Sasuke-teme. I almost jumped out of my skin when I looked at him, only to see him staring at me. No, staring isn't the right word. It was more like gaping at me in pure shock. The stunned expression wasn't really making me feel any better. Then again it didn't really make me feel worse either. I mean, I was torn. On one hand, Sasuke could just be shocked by what a nice guy I am (though I don't know why he is surprised-I am always such a kind, considerate soul). But then that raises the question of if he actually thought I was a mean person. And if he did, that hurts. I mean I know I thought that about him but come on I mean he's like…Sasuke…so it's understandable. On the other hand, he could be shocked that I am such a weak pussy. If there was a third hand, he could just be shocked that Tsunade thought he did something bad to me. Ah, so many options!

…wait, oh my god. The ice prince of douchebaggery has an expression….

Wow.

Sasuke's mouth slowly closed and his eyes reverted back to normal, but he still looked mildly surprised.

Tsunade groaned so I whipped my head back around to look at her.

"I can't deal with this right now. You are all giving me a headache. Get out." She said, her voice low and strained. No one moved. Um, does she really just want us to leave?

She looked up and leveled us with a glare. "I said get out. Now. I'll deal with this tomorrow. Get back to classes. Don't for a second think you aren't in major trouble though! I expect you to be on the best behavior! A single step out of place and I'll have you out of this school before you can say, 'wait'. Permanently."

Scary! The old hag can be so, so scary! Immediately, Sasuke's and Gaara's chairs squeaked back across the floor as they stood up. They both rushed to the door like a two scared little girls. And I followed right behind them. I'm not proud of it. But it needs to be made clear that Tsunade is as strong as like ten bodybuilders. It's freaky.

I quickly walked through the doorway, grabbing the handle as I went and closing the door. My eyes flitted around the hallway. Sasuke walked toward the far end of the hall. I'm not sure where he's going. He's actually going back to class right now? Shoot, I shouldn't be thinking of that, of him, right now.

I turn my gaze toward Gaara who is now talking to Kiba, Shika, and Temari. I made my way over to them. Temari was standing right in front of him with her hands on her hips in a very authoritative, dominant stance. She looked intimidating. Not that Gaara looked the least bit intimidated but you know he's always been a bit of an odd one.

"Gaara, what did I tell you?!" She huffed angrily, staring down at him (because she's actually taller than him. It's a sore point for Gaara, and I've learned never to bring it—thanks to when Kiba opened his big mouth and got nailed in the gut).

Gaara didn't respond and just stared back apathetically, yet moodily and angrily…if that's possible. Oh, Gaara! You…you…you need a hug!

I rushed forward and wrapped my arms around Gaara's back and arms in a big bear hug and squeezed him (gently of course. After all, Gaara is a fragile creature). His body went rigid and the other three looked at me like I had just escaped from the looney bin.

"Gaara," I started. I was about to give the greatest thank you speech of friendship in the entire world.

"Get off." Gaara muttered lowly. It wasn't scary at all…maybe a little.

"Dude, he's gonna explode and maim you," Kiba told me. He didn't really sound all that concerned though. Stupid Kiba.

Naturally I just hugged him tighter. I mean you have to take risks for friends. Then he growled. One and a half seconds later there was a good two feet between us. I mean, risks are overrated. They should be avoided at all costs. They aren't worth being maimed over!

"Gaara," I say in my most serious, authoritative tone as I started over. He turned to look at me. The anger was still burning in his eyes. I cleared my throat and prepared it for serious, influential, role-model mood. I practice sometimes in the mirror after Iruka preaches to me. "You are the best friend ever. I love you. So much. So please don't take this the wrong way," I said. It was quite eloquent if do say so myself. A beat of silence followed before I shot my hand forward and wacked Gaara on the back of the head. "YOU IDIOT!" I yelled. I realized, maybe a little belatedly, that I might have been too loud as my voice carried and echoed down the hall.

Everyone's eyes, even Gaara's, were wide with shock. I really didn't think there was anything too surprising about my actions. I stepped closer to Gaara and smiled sheepishly. "I am so happy that you would do that for me. It seriously means the world to me that you are there for me. You are the best. All of you guys are amazing. But I don't want you to get hurt. I'd never be able to live with myself. So please don't do anything for me where you would get hurt. Fuck, I was so worried." I definitely didn't start to get all choked up. I smiled at Gaara. He really is the best friend a person could ask for. All of them are—Temari, Shikamaru, and dog-breath.

Gaara suddenly looked a lot more relaxed. And then, if things couldn't get even weirder! Gaara, my stoic, tough, adorable, best friend who hates physically contact (unless he's beating the shit out of someone), he hugged me. He took a large step forward and hugged me.

"I'm not apologizing. I'll do it again. You are my best friend, Naruto. You are more than that. You are family." The words were quick. They were quiet. They were concise. They were everything I needed to hear, and so much more.

"Gaara…you..you..are so nice…and..just..the best and-" I blubbered, as hot tears gathered in my eyes.

"Are you crying?" He interrupted me. I wordlessly nodded. It was so uncool but Gaara had touched my heart! It's corny I know! I can live with corny, though!

"Off," was all he muttered lowly before literally shoving me off of him. I stumbled back and looked at him with my mouth doing fish movements, opening and closing silently. My outstretched arms dropped limply to my sides.

He stared at me but a small smile was tugging at his lips. The sight immediately made me break out in a huge grin.

"Get you lazy asses back to class!"

We all turned to Tsunade's room where her yell had come from. Kiba and I barked out a laugh. Shikamaru chuckled silently. Temari gave one short cackle. Gaara didn't even twitch. We all turned and began down the hallway.

Ugh. I forgot my bag. In Tsunade's room. Great. And when we are all already at the end of the hall. "Hey I forgot my bag. I'll catch you all later." I told them as I turned and began jogging back. A few 'okay's echoed after me.

As I turned the knob, I heard Baa-chan talking to someone. I opened the door just a crack and moved my face so as to peek in. Tsunade's back was towards me as she sat in her chair. Her hands were making jerky, angry movements as she spoke to the person on the phone. With the stealth of an international spy, I slid the door open farther and crept in. Silently, I moved across the floor, not the smallest sound giving away my position. I eyed the target: one, dilapidated, duct-taped backpack. I approached it with caution, knowing the slightest movement could give the enemy Baa-chan the whereabouts of Agent Uzumaki. Finally, my hand wrapped around one strap and I lifted it toward me.

"Why the hell would you tell him to say shit like that?!" Tsunade snapped into the phone. Yikes.

With the target now procured, I slipped it onto my back.

"He's not exactly chasing skirts now is he?" Her reprimanding hiss filled the room.

It's kind of like a squat-walk thing. But it's working for me. Almost to the door.

"What did you call me you lazy old pervert?!" She snarled again. No…it couldn't be?

I grabbed the door and eased it open enough so that I could fit through with the bag.

"Jiraiya, I swear to God I will…" Oh, it is. She called the old perv about me! Great! Not only will Iruka skin me alive but now Jiraiya will want to preach to me…or congratulate me. Who knows? You never know with that one. His morals aren't exactly normal.

I slipped through the door. I would have hell to pay if Tsunade saw me so I had to be quick like lightning. The hallway was now completely empty. I moseyed my way on down it at a leisurely pace. The locker color kind of looks like vomit…or maybe sand. I'm talking the normal sand, not red sand or that black volcano sand.

I took a left at the end of the hallway, and then stopped in my tracks. Leaning against the wall, was Sasuke, one foot bent with the sole of his shoe against the wall, and the other one straight, supporting his weight. His hands were partly in his pockets, hanging out in that cool, hot kind of way that you see in movies. My heart, the stupid, useless organ that is, stuttered.

No. This has to stop. I'm done with him. He treated me awfully. Even if he did apologize. Enough is enough.

I picked up my pace again and began walking. Twelve steps away. Seven steps away. Five. Two. Ah, right in front! Stay calm!...One step away. Three. Five.

"Naruto." AH! Shit! My heart just leapt. I can't tell if I'm happy or pissed that he actually spoke up. Sasuke, just go away. I didn't turn around right away. After several seconds, I glanced back. But Sasuke wasn't looking at me. His gaze was fixed on the ground.

"I…I really want…need to talk to you. I'm sorry. About before. About the thing with Gaara today. About-" His voice was so serious and it was getting to me. So like the mature, stable minded person I am I ran for the high hills. I took off at break neck speed down the hall. Not even staying to hear the rest of his sentence. He definitely yelled my names a few times. But if anyone asks I'll deny it to my grave? Here something? What? I heard nothing! Nothing!

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You know, I didn't quite think out my great escape so spectacularly. Why some might ask? Well I don't know…maybe the fact that the class I'm flipping in right now is gym, and guess who else is here? Sasuke. Yeah, good job thinking ahead Naruto…fucking shit, again with the third person.

But it's not all bad, good old Kibs is here. He's giving me a play by play of the Gaara v. Sasuke fight (like I wasn't there to see the entire thing, dipshit). And even if I wasn't, the entire fucking school is talking about it so I think I would've found out. But because I'm such an awesome friend, I'm sitting here listening to him babble about it. He is laying on his back staring at the ceiling and I'm sitting by his feet, causally lacing his shoelaces together in a giant knot. It's not like I'm hoping he gets up and face plants after attempting to walk, not really. I'd only laugh a little. Okay, that's a lie too. I'd probably pee myself I'd be laughing so hard. But hey, the what best friends do!

Gym went by smoothly. Relatively. Except for the fact that Sasuke was staring holes into my fricken head the entire time. It was unnerving!

In fact the next couple periods went by even better. Seventh period was the best. Gaara and I sat outside (it's starting to get a bit chilly out) and breathed in the fresh air together in companionable silence. At least for five minutes before I got to antsy and then Gaara let me read his palm (I asked him to read mine but he just stared at my hand when I stuck it out for him to take…so I just returned it to my lap) and play red hands (we didn't play that for very long because of several issues). Then I informed Gaara that we were dressing up together for Halloween. He was totally okay with the idea until I told him he was going as a panda. He wasn't too happy. But then I pouted. And now he will 'consider it'. Please, I'll get Gaara to fold. He will be a panda, and I will be a fox and we will be animal friends just like in my drawing!

Now I'm at my eighth period class. Gaara doesn't look like he wants to leave. We both know Sasuke is already in the class. Gaara hasn't hated anyone this much since Sai. In the beginning of my relationship with Sai (aka the dark days), Gaara actually liked Sai and approved of him. Then we all realized what a creep Sai was. Gaara actually thought they could be friends because they both are into morbid, emo-ish, scary shit. But when Gaara realized how much of a douche Sai was he changed his mind. Though I think the turning point was when Sai called Gaara "a ginger midget" and told him to "fetch my art supplies and bong like a good like fucker". Gaara lit all of Sai's paintings in his room on fire. It was magnificent.

"It's okay, Gaara. Please don't be late to your class. Tsunade can't have another reason to get mad at you!" I pleaded. He stared at me long and hard. Then he nodded his head and turned away from me. He made his way down the hall.

"Bye, Gaara-chan!" I cooed loudly, my voice carrying down the hallway. He froze and then flipped me off over his shoulder. A small chuckle escaped my lips and I turned around in the doorway. With a gulp, I made my way in. I walked straight to my usual seat and sat down.

No sign of the teacher so I just slumped down in my seat and stared out the window.

"Can you believe how scary that Gaara kid is? I mean I'd always heard rumors and stuff but he looks like he could actually kill someone." My ears perked up at Gaara's name and I glared at the window. Would people stop talking about this?

"I know. He's really scary. I heard he was already suspended earlier this year from fighting. I also heard he almost killed a kid. I'd never want to piss him off. But you know, Sasuke was an amazing fighter. Maybe even better than Gaara. That makes him just as dangerous" Another boy said. I gritted my teeth, Gaara did not almost kill a kid. Though, if Gaara heard these claims he wouldn't mind. In fact, he'd probably be happy and smile evilly. I know him too well.

"Yeah, but Sasuke's cool and was only defending himself. That Gaara kid is actually vicious and insane." WHAT?!

I slammed my hand on the desk and turned to face the two. Both of them (and a couple more in the desks right around us) were staring at me.

"Gaara isn't vicious. And he isn't insane. Don't talk about stuff you know jackshit about!" I snapped. Don't talk about my friends that way!

"What the heck would you know?" One of the guys snapped back. His friend nudged him.

"Dude, I heard he broke up the fight. I think he's friends with that guy," He said, nodding towards me.

Just then Kakashi walked in. "So sorry I was on the phone, with a lovely little rose that I have recently met," he said amiably as he made his way to his desk.

As he set his books on the pulpit, he turned to the class. "Now, today has been an exciting day, but I don't care so don't talk about it in here. Understand?" The class said they understood and Kakashi assigned us reading in the class textbook. I'm pretty sure I lost that after the first day. Hopefully, he doesn't give us points for having it in class. Just what my grade needs, another zero.

…wait a minute.

I stood up in my seat and my chair skidded backwards. "Kakashi you jerk!" I yelled. Everyone was so looking at me but I didn't care. I marched up to his desk. His eyes were wide with shock but I could tell he was amused.

"Can I help you, Naruto?" Kakashi asked pleasantly. Sly bastard. He knows what I'm here about.

"May I have a word with you?" I asked tightly. His eyes crinkled at the sides, an outline of a smirk was below his mask. "Why, of course." He said, all nice. Ha, I know better. To think I used to like him.

"You ratted me out to Iruka!" I snarled as soon as we were in the hallway. Kakashi's hands went up in the I'm-so-innocent-gesture. As if.

"It just came out."

"It just came out?"

"He has the right to know," Kakashi reasoned.

"I was working on it. I was getting tutored. Hell, I was improving my grades!"

"Yes, yes. And he knows you are. Working on it and getting tutored that is so don't get so mad at me. It's your own fault." He sounded so reasonable and calm. My fault? Yeah, fuck reasonability and calmness.

"No more free copies of Icha-Icha Paradise. None." I snapped at him.

His face immediately fell, all color draining from it.

"You can't." His voice was shaky, and his hands began to slowly reach for me.

"Ha!" I exclaimed and grabbed the knob to the room, wrenching it open. If he thinks I'm giving him a discount on or another free copy for Jiraiya's pervy books he is sorely mistaken.

"Don't do this to me," He begged as he followed me into the room. I didn't respond and kept walking.

"Naruto," Kakashi whispered. "Your poor teacher and his measly salary." Should have thought of that before deciding to tell Iruka I was completely failing! If you would have given me more time I would have raised the grades!

"Naruto!" He whispered. I turned around and glared at him.

"Don't talk to Iruka again" He looked surprised at what I said. Then he suddenly looked nervous.

"I can't..I actually scheduled him for a parent-teacher conference today after school," He said with a fake little, nervous laugh.

…what?...Iurka?...Meeting?..

"YOU WHAT?! NO MORE! NONE!" I snapped as I stormed back to my desk. I looked around the room and noticed Sasuke looking at me. But he wasn't looking at my face, his eyes were locked on my shirt. I looked down and blushed when I saw what shirt I was wearing. Oh, yeah the one that says 'Foxy'. I glared at Sasuke. Yeah, teme, well read, salivate, and weep! I sat down quickly and glared at the people staring at me for only a second before turning to look out the window. Schools blows.

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"So why exactly does Kakashi need to have a parent-teacher conference with Iruka?" Temari questioned. Great question.

"I have no clue! It's not like I'm not already trying to fix it!" I raged as I shoved another mouthful of spaghetti into my mouth. Sauce dribbled down my chin as I slurped all the ends of the noodles into my mouth.

"You're disgusting," She observed as she stared as me in disgust. She cast a glance to the other person next to me and frowned even more. "You are almost as bad as him," She said with a nod toward Kiba who was inhaling everything at lightning speed and had gotten spaghetti sauce all over.

"Feel free to use the shower after you eat. You aren't getting in my hot tub covered in food," Shikamaru announced from his spot next to Temari. All five of us were sitting at Shikamaru's kitchen table. His house was pretty nice, the nicest out of all of ours. His dad was some kind of really smart guy who did consulting for companies or something like that.

"I told you dinner was ready five minutes ago. Get in here now!" Mrs. Nara barked to Mr. Nara who had been holed up in the study since all of us came to Shika's after school. He is a busybody who likes to get stuff done (unlike Shikamaru). Not even a minute later, Mr. Nara was in the kitchen about to sit down. He is also majorly whipped.

"Okay, here you are, dear." Mrs. Nara, said sweetly as she put down her husband's plate then went to fetch her own and sit with him on the stools at the kitchen island. She may be tough but she's a really nice lady.

When dinner was done, Mrs. Nara made Shikamaru help dry dishes. The rest of us offered to help but, as always, she told us that guests should relax and not concern themselves with such things. The rest of us started changing into our swimsuits. After school we had all stopped home and grabbed overnight bags. It had been a long ,stressful, eventful day and we all needed to wind down and hang out together. Shikamaru had offered up his house, the kind soul that he is.

Twenty minutes later all of us, even Shikamaru, were walking out onto his porch. We pattered over to the hot tub, and with a good yank by Kiba and I the cover came off. When I slid in, a sigh left me. It just felt so good. It was all warm, and bubbly, and warm, and nice, and warm.

"Ah, so good," Kiba exhaled slid down all the way to his chin. He was wearing red swim trunks with some kind of yellow decal on the left side. Temari who was sitting next to him was wearing a skimpy black bikini. It wasn't necessarily designed to be skimpy it's just that she had pretty big boobs so…well, yeah. Boobs make me uncomfortable.

Next to Temari, Shikamaru was wearing really dark blue trunks. In between him and me was Gaara who was wearing black swim trunks with a red drawstring. Naturally, my swim trunks were the best. They were bright orange.

"Gaara you look like death compared to Naruto's tan bod!" Kiba bellowed as he poked my arm, indicating my tan complexion. Gaara merely looked at his skin and then my own. "Ew, Gaara would look weird tan!" Temari squealed. "When we all have wrinkly skin, Gaara's skin will be flawless," Shikamaru pointed out.

We moved from skin to music to Hinata to tattoos. Shikamaru was the bold one to bring Sasuke up. He's a brave man.

"So the Sasuke situation…" Was how Shika so eloquently put it.

Of course, immediately all eyes gone to me.

"Yeah." I said as equally eloquent.

"What are your feelings regarding him honestly?" Shikamaru asked. "We've been avoiding outright asking you but I think we should all talk about it."

I took a deep breath. "He's a total bastard. That's what I thought in the beginning. He did nothing to prove me wrong me. But there were moments when he was nice. I saw…well stuff that I didn't think I'd see…and I felt stuff…that I didn't think I'd feel. More so than with anyone before. And then before I knew it, I actually liked him. Not just his looks but him. And…hah…fuck, look where that got me." I stared at the bubbling water as I spoke. It felt good to tell them, to get it off my chest.

A couple silent seconds passed as my friends took in what I said. Then a hand was awkwardly patting my shoulder. I looked over to see Kiba smiling in comforting manner. "He's an ass, dude. He treats people like shit and is awful. Dump him and forget all about him." He advised me. Jeez, he makes it sound so easy. If it was that simple…well, this would be a lot easier.

Temari glared at Kiba, "That was terrible advice. Maybe a good message but you suck at delivery."

"Hey!" Kiba protested.

"Look, Uzumaki, you and Sasuke obviously have some weird thing going on. I've seen the way you look at him. But I've also seen how he looks at you, and it's different from how I've seen him look at other people. Having said that, that fuck's hurt you too much. He was an asshole, and you deserve so much better." Temari's words inspired a lot of different emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, frustration. Was I different to Sasuke? Did it matter if he still treated me like everyone else?

"Uchiha is emotionally stunted," Shikamaru began. I couldn't help but snort in laughter. It was dead on. "I'm not going to lie to you. I don't like him. He is arrogant and has a bad temper. But I think he may really like you. And I think you may really like him. Everything between you too is so tumultuous that I can't keep up or even hope to foretell what may happen in the future. I do know if things don't change in some way, nothing will ever work." Aside from the fact that there was at least one word in there that I didn't understand, the gist of his words was (again) dead on as far as my feelings went. But did Sasuke actually like me? I had thought we were getting close but then he pushed me away with his words and attitude.

My head whirled with thoughts, of course all about Sasuke. So many mixed signals!

"Just don't get hurt," Gaara said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I grinned at him. "Aye-Aye!" I bellowed with a salute.

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That night I snuggled under the numerous covers thrown over me. Shikamaru was sleeping on his bed. Temari was on the trundle bed that pulled out. Gaara, Kiba and I were lying on the floor, a montage of blankets scattered all over: under us, on top of us, in between us.

I was pretty sure everyone was asleep. Well, I knew Temari was since her snoring was filling the room. My mind was still wide awake though. I couldn't stop thinking about today. The fight, and then Sasuke's apology, Sasuke over the weekend, and then him when he told me that I was nothing but a toy to fill his boredom with. And finally, the question Shika had asked me before bed. He had asked it and the immediately walked to his bed, not looking for any kind of response.

"Naruto how much do you even know about him?" He had said.

How well did I know Sasuke?

He was the gorgeous teme that girls loved and guys envied. He is arrogant and selfish. Childish in many ways like how he pouts (in his own way) if he doesn't get what he wants and mature in many other ways. He is really smart, and a surprisingly good teacher, though he has absolutely no patience. He doesn't like to talk about his family and his older brother and him don't seem to be on good terms (though it looks pretty one-sided *coughSasukehasbrotherissuescough*). Sasuke has to always feel like he's in control. He is a bully. He is apathetic, even disdainful to people he doesn't know or care to know. He can be mean and hurtful. He is a cornball. He is a total horndog and is quite skilled in…sexual stuff. He's spoiled and throws temper tantrums. He hates opera and loves the color navy blue. He's confident. He's a good fighter. He is anal about his grades. He has serious issues with people making fun of his name. He can't stand being rejected. He gets uncomfortable with feelings. And I have a feeling today was the first time he apologized in a really long time to anyone. He gets jealous insanely easily. He is a hypocrite. He is a liar. He can be surprisingly nice.

And he drives me absolutely insane. All those moments (well most of them)…I liked it. I really did. But it was doomed from the start…right?

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Sorry, my absence is a combination of having a full schedule and honestly just going through a bout of not wanting to write (a bit of a dry spell where the creative bug just wasn't biting). Thanks to a PM I got my rear in gear and got this chapter out as soon as possible. So Sneaky-Ninja-Muffin thank you so much, this chapter was all thanks to your message. I absolutely loved it and it was so motivating so thank you. Thanks everyone for your reviews! Please tell me what you think of this chapter cuz its been a while since I wrote one. Not gonna lie, the more reviews I get, the faster I'll probably update. But there will be no more long breaks, you rest assured.